Libra

Just because someone is nice to you does NOT mean they are in love with you !!!! Deal with it.... Although you are not afraid to have sex with anyone .... Male, female, sheep, goat, etc. .... (Be careful with the badgers they bite....HARD!!!)

Aries

You are a fire sign.... BURN !!! BURN !!! BURN !!! I have limited experiance with Aries people as far as I know.... So you're either really unnoticable or all of you need to come out of the Aries closet !!!! Shit it's just your birth sign, it has nothing to do with the 666 birthmark on your ass....

Scorpio

You guys rule !!!! You got Halloween, damn near Thanksgiving, and you put out !!!! For everyone !!!! Let everyone you fuck know they're just a number and that way you stand less of a chance getting gunned down in your sleep!!!!

Taurus

If April showers bring May flowers, what do Mayflowers bring? .... Pilgrams !!!! Quit hanging out so close to the Aries fucks .... They're sucking the life right out of you.... Take a stand... Moon a cop !!!!

Sagitarius

Sagittarius (man, I had that misspelled!!!) Nov 23 - Dec 20

I can't think of anyone I know that's a Sag.... So I'll leave you with a Sagittarius thought....

" If the pilgrams would have chosen bobcat for the beast,

That they would slay and dine on , on that first November feast,

Then all the turkey farmers would find a way to make a living,

And EVERYBODY would be eating pussy on Thanksgiving !!!!!"

Gemini

Ahhh yes ... The twins.... Are there really twins or is one of the voices in your head just louder than the rest ?!!!! Everybody likes you because you are bi-sexual.... Hey , it should be easier to keep your dance card full !!!!

Capricorn

Your intellectual abilities will supercede the fact you forgot to take your ADHD meds again.... Take your pills ... Snort a Viagra and get on with it (or get it on depending on the other meds)....

Cancer

You're basically a good , kind person who drinks to much and wakes up in the wrong house frequently.... Your strong suit is that during the span of your sign is THE FOURTH OF JULY..... Party on dudes !!!!

Aquarius

Shit, would you stand up for yourselves !!!! Pick your battles, not your ASS !!!! For a refreshing change... Be the one who goes to the busiest truck stop , shits in the sink, and wipes their ass on the roll towel.... Wake up... People are using you !!!!

Leo

Your kiss ass attitude has absolutely no one fooled.... You are a cut throat piece of shit who would set a nun on fire if it would get you a job promotion !!!! Some day you'll find happiness when you get the top job RUNNING THE GATES TO HELL !!!!

Pisces

Your primadonna attitude is what makes you think you're cool.... Look around ... If you ain't sucking dick , people disappear real fast after they catch a self-rightious, holyer-than-thou, obvious bullshit scenario on how you're here for the greater purpose.... Keep it to yourself , you sound much better gagging on my cock....

Virgo

You would say anything or do anything to get in the pants of whoever your hormones tell you... You're harder to detect than a Leo , because you are a player.... Game on !!!!

Until next time.... Look to the stars and shoot the moon....
Nostrildumass