{"id":4483,"date":"2018-04-15T13:48:40","date_gmt":"2018-04-15T06:48:40","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/alphapro.com\/funhouse\/?p=4483"},"modified":"2025-01-15T11:38:01","modified_gmt":"2025-01-15T04:38:01","slug":"pattaya-soi-six-lies","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/alphapro.com\/funhouse\/2018\/04\/15\/pattaya-soi-six-lies\/","title":{"rendered":"Pattaya Soi Six lies"},"content":{"rendered":"

Pattaya Soi Six lies just has to start with Noi, the whore who fucked over 1500 Koreans in 7 months.<\/p>\n

\"Pattaya
Jack called her Snow White. After meeting her in a Soi Six bar I’d get her to come to my condo once she started freelancing. I’ll no doubt get a picture later on of the real Noi. Anyways, Show White is pretty photogenic. Notice I have her wearing sunglasses so no one can identify her. Notice also…no pussy shots. Not even a shot of her tits. Which is the kind of photography my pal Jack Corbett shoots in Thailand. But I think everyone can get a pretty good idea of what Snow White’s body looks like. Without Jack showing off her privates for all the world to look at. These Thai women don’t like pornographic shots to be taken of them. To come back and haunt them later. To be included in an Asian porn movie for example….or to be sent to a future husband or boyfriend. Or to Thai family.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Well, I tells you all this is one helluva story, Noi fucking all dem Koreans.<\/a>\u00a0 And you aren’t going to get this story anywhere else because Korea denies that this shit even exists.\u00a0 But I got it from the horse’s mouth while we are drinkin tequila together.\u00a0 We are talking some serious sex trafficking here.\u00a0 Stuff that’s against the law.\u00a0 We are talkin putting ladies in what amounts to jail.\u00a0 Slavery.\u00a0 Cept these gals do get paid.\u00a0 But it’s all pretty inhumane shit.<\/p>\n

I love you Uncle Bufford<\/h3>\n

Now I gots to admit.\u00a0 I have one helluva personality.\u00a0 Cause if I didn’t you wouldn’t be reading this here post.\u00a0 Anyways, here’s Noi telling me her stories.\u00a0 And I ask her, “What do you want out of life?”<\/p>\n

So Noi says to me,\u00a0 I will be 34 next week.\u00a0 (Will you come to my birthday so you can give me money).\u00a0 Well you can believe me, if I go, I’m checking her IUD.\u00a0 Because I’ve heard enough Soi Six lies about all these girls birthdays.<\/p>\n

Then Noi starts to answer my question. “I want to work bar for 2 more years.\u00a0 Then finish bar.\u00a0 Find falang who can take good care of me.”\u00a0 But Noi’s a talker so she continues on.<\/p>\n

“Remember that American who was giving me 30,000 baht a month to stay with him?”<\/p>\n

“Yes.\u00a0 I remember because I never see you for three months and you told me you were going to go with him.”<\/p>\n

“He’s wanting me to stay long time with him again.\u00a0 For 30,000 baht a month.”<\/p>\n

“And his room,” I replied.<\/p>\n

Which might not be too bad, I’m thinking, because I sure as hell have seen enough of Noi’s room.”\u00a0 Which is on the 2nd floor of the Soi Six Bar she works at.\u00a0 Which is not too shabby, but probably nowhere as good as what this old man is offering her.”<\/p>\n

“But he’s so boring,” Noi continued.\u00a0 He gets up every morning at the same time.\u00a0 Then he makes his coffee.\u00a0 And reads his newspaper.<\/h3>\n

But he never goes anywhere.\u00a0 He just stays at home.”<\/p>\n

“I remember you telling me that,” I replied.<\/p>\n

“He never takes me anywhere, and I can’t go out alone.\u00a0 But I went out one night.\u00a0 Came back late and oh oh oh, he get so angry with me.”<\/p>\n

“I would too.”<\/p>\n

But you different, Uncle Bufford.\u00a0 Noi continued with her Pattaya Soi Six lies.\u00a0 You funny.\u00a0 And you boom boom very good.<\/p>\n

Noi continues with her Pattaya Soi Six lies<\/h3>\n

“You have a beautiful dick, Uncle Bufford.\u00a0 And I know because I have fucked too many dicks.”<\/p>\n

Which might be true.\u00a0 In fact I was thinking of having a cast made of my dick and have it entered in the Hall of Ill Fame.<\/p>\n

I’m a thinking, Noi probably really likes me.\u00a0 She will suck my asshole.\u00a0 And even let me fuck her ass.\u00a0 But I haven’t gotten around to that just yet.<\/p>\n

Then I ask her.\u00a0 \u00a0Would you stay with a man if he gives you room and 20000 baht?”<\/p>\n

“I really need 30,000 baht.\u00a0 That’s what I make her at this bar,” Noi replied.<\/p>\n

“But if he not boring.\u00a0 And he take you out to bars.\u00a0 To restaurants.” (but here I’m describing myself).\u00a0 And he makes you laugh.”<\/p>\n

I not sure.\u00a0 But.\u00a0 Okay.\u00a0 I go with that man for 20,000 baht and room.”<\/p>\n

She would go with me for sure.\u00a0 But she now commits her biggest Pattaya Soi Six lies.<\/h3>\n

Noi is calling me every other day.\u00a0 “you want to c me she keeps asking?”\u00a0 Now Noi’s absolutely sensational in bed.\u00a0 And she gives me these massages after sex.\u00a0 But I got someone else who I absolutely adore.\u00a0 \u00a0Just one week after the last time Noi and I have sex together.\u00a0 She disappears.<\/p>\n

The girls at her bar tell me, “she go home.”<\/p>\n

Which his standard bar girl procedure.\u00a0 Cause rarely do these girls go home.\u00a0 They go with customer long time.\u00a0 So the other bar girls cover her ass.\u00a0 \u00a0And tell customer she go home.”\u00a0 This is the most typical of all Pattaya Soi Six lies.<\/p>\n

But Noi who loves me too much won’t even answer the telephone when I call her.\u00a0 Or message her.<\/p>\n

So my conclusion is, she was telling me pure horseshit all the time.\u00a0 Sure.\u00a0 She would stay with me for 20,000 baht and a room.\u00a0 Or stay with me in my condo.\u00a0 But I”m a thinkin she went with that ole geezer after all.\u00a0 And he’s paying her 30,000 baht.\u00a0 While he’s boring the shit out of her.<\/p>\n

But times are tough down here on Soi Six.\u00a0 While she won’t even call me back.\u00a0 Even though she claims she loves my skinny little ass, and my beautiful dick.\u00a0 But to tell you the truth.\u00a0 I really don’t give a shit.<\/p>\n

Phang, guilty of obvious\u00a0Pattaya Soi Six lies<\/h3>\n

Now Phang is one of the most straight up gals on Soi Six.\u00a0 She will tell you if she’s busy with a customer or not.\u00a0 And she’s a great performer.\u00a0 Who will even give you a massage before sex.\u00a0 \u00a0But not this time.\u00a0 Because she’s busy, and not doing what she says she’s doing.<\/p>\n

The last time I saw her she said.<\/p>\n

“I probably have to go home if this little boy dies.<\/p>\n

“For how long?” I asked.<\/p>\n

“1 week I think.”<\/p>\n

One week passes, and Phang’s still not back at her Soi Six Bar<\/p>\n

So I text messaged her. “Are you working tonight?”<\/p>\n

“No.\u00a0 If this little boy dies, I must go home.\u00a0 (but she’s not working in the bar either).<\/p>\n

And now two more weeks later it’s the same\u00a0Pattaya Soi Six lies<\/h3>\n

She’s still not working at her Soi Six bar.\u00a0 \u00a0While the little boy still doesn’t know if he’s living or dying.<\/p>\n

This is not one of those Pattaya Soi Six lies, but it’s a great story anyway.<\/h3>\n

“I don’t like fucking Thai men,” Noi told me.\u00a0 Except just this once, and the sex lasted three hours,”\u00a0 Noi giggled.\u00a0 Remembering what happened as a total lark.<\/p>\n

“There’s this guy driving one of those little cars taking tourists around.\u00a0 So when he saw me walking down the street he stopped and asked me.”<\/p>\n

“Are you looking for customers.”<\/p>\n

“Yes.\u00a0 I am always looking for customers who will pay me money.”<\/p>\n

“There’s a rich Chinese who’s living in Moon Light Hotel, who will pay you 7000 baht to spend the night with him.\u00a0 Are you interested?”<\/p>\n

“Of course I am.”<\/p>\n

“Hop on in.\u00a0 I take you to his hotel now.”<\/p>\n

So this guy takes me to the Moon Light Hotel.\u00a0 He leaves me in the car for a few minutes.\u00a0 And then he comes down and tells me the Chinese is not there.”<\/p>\n

“But I will pay you for sex instead.\u00a0 I have a room I can take you to.”<\/p>\n

“So the guy takes me to a room.\u00a0 And then he gives me something to drink.\u00a0 Then.\u00a0 This is unbelievable.\u00a0 We have sex for three hours straight.\u00a0 But remember.\u00a0 I have boom boomed many dicks.\u00a0 This never happen before.\u00a0 Now I know something is wrong.”<\/p>\n

I ask him.\u00a0 “You put something in my drink?\u00a0 At first he lie, and say he didn’t.\u00a0 But later he tell me,\u00a0 “I put something in your drink.\u00a0 I put in my drink also.\u00a0 Make very good boom boom.”<\/p>\n

By this time Noi is laughing her ass off<\/h3>\n

Uncle Bufford.\u00a0 You know what is really funny.\u00a0 When I was in Korea many Korea man put something on the end of his dick.\u00a0 He think it make lady’s pussy feel good.\u00a0 But it hurts pussy.\u00a0 Many Thai men do also.<\/p>\n

By now I’m guessing that the number one of Noi’s\u00a0\u00a0Pattaya Soi Six lies is her telling me she won’t go with a boring man when he pays her 30,000 baht a month.\u00a0 While the second one of her biggest Pattaya Soi Six lies is trying to make me think that I’m number one with her.\u00a0 And then she cannot even answer her phone.\u00a0 But I will guarantee that when she comes back she will be ringing my phone at least 5 or 6 times a week.\u00a0 Thinking that I am none the wiser.<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Pattaya Soi Six lies just has to start with Noi, the whore who fucked over 1500 Koreans in 7 months. Well, I tells you all this is one helluva story, Noi fucking all dem Koreans.\u00a0 And you aren’t going to get this story anywhere else because Korea denies that this shit even exists.\u00a0 But I … Continue reading Pattaya Soi Six lies<\/span> →<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":413,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[468,3355],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-4483","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-soisixbars","category-uncle-bufford-bar-girl-advice-column"],"yoast_head":"\nPattaya Soi Six lies<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Pattaya Soi Six lies just 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