A Poem by Selena

A very special friend of ours, when Selena gave me this poem for publication at alphapro, she was dancing at Visions, a gentlemen's club in the Saint Louis Metro East.  Several years later Selena was murdered, stabbed to death by a jealous boyfriend.   

" Inside, I Scream out in Pain "

How can all this be?
I've lived through things I never I never wanted to see.
I try to be good to all, but so many has hurt me viciously.
I guess it's all life's lessons
I never expected I'd have to learn.
Outside, I try to appear cheerful and happy, yet,
inside, my emotions burn.
Burning with confusions of a relies sort,
so many times I've prayed for mercy,
to let my life abort.
I feel so disoriented, so emotionally drained.
Outwardly I smile but,
Inside, I scream out in pain.
Is there a chance for my weak, weary soul?
Will I find salvation, or
will the torment win,
taking it's final toll?
I feel the Evil all around.
It thrives from my fears like
a never ending spinning sphere.
I have no choice but to patiently wait for blessings to come,
wounds to heal and,
to embrace the power of forgiveness that will come,
freeing me.

Though for now it's still the same,
on the surface I'm happy but,
Inside ,
I scream out in pain.

Teresa Selena Kay R
March 7, 1990



Does being strong mean being insane?
The things we go through that builds our strength also
tears at the fiber of our lives, changing a part of who we are.
The who we were before, is forever changed.
Is it the experience that hurts us, or makes us glad,
or the you that we become to deal with what chokes us?
Is it really that sad?
Living life, the good and bad,
while each thing we are thankful for,
are the things we come to regret.
We can open our eyes with each passing day.
To view things from a different angle asking ourselves,
"are we wiser and stronger" as you look back?
Do we think of things that we have or once had?
When we look ahead seeing with our new eyes,
are we truly stronger ?
Can it be that we are just fooling each other by
being ourselves,
being us,
being we,
being insane?

Teresa Selena Kay R
August 2, 1999


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