The Hawk’s Eye View

I’d Love to Have Your
 Job as strip club D.J.

by Hawkeye

Welcome to my first Column. I have been a professional DJ in adult clubs and some radio for over 18 years and am never without an opinion. When Jack Corbett asked me to do an article for this e-mag I jumped at the chance. As you can guess from the title this column will mostly deal with issues from the point of view of a DJ. I have also worked as Manager, Security, Door, Bartender and Floor Manager so I feel I can round out my opinions, having walked many miles in other shoes.  I have been asked by others, and have even asked myself on occasions “If you’re so smart and have that much college, why are you a DJ?”

The comment every male employee at a strip club hears the most from customers has to be, “I would love to have your job.” I hear it at least once a night. I always laugh and say something like “Yea, I get paid to drink, talk and look at naked women, it’s great!” Inside, however, I am usually thinking “Yea, I like to see you try to do this for an hour, much less all night.” I was sharing this view with a friend outside of the business and he looked puzzled, “Man, I’ve seen you at work, what you do is easy.”

After calming down, I actually felt complimented. If you make you job look easy to outsiders, you must be doing it right. Since being a professional DJ in a large club is anything but easy, I decided to use my first article to describe what a DJ shift is like. The analogy of a duck on a pond always comes to mind. On the surface it looks serene and calm, just floating along. Underneath he is paddling his ass off.

The DJ sets the tone and mood of the club by both music selection and mic work. At Big Daddy’s Cabaret here in Ft Leonard Wood, Missouri, we have a fun fast paced atmosphere with lots of young military men. We do lots of events, contests and give-aways. The DJ has to be the party leader - always up-beat and sounding like he’s having the most fun he’s ever had. Since we have no mandatory closing time we close whenever the party ends. I have done 16 and 18 hour shifts. It’s not easy sounding like a fun filled party animal at 7am when all you want to do is go to bed and get some rest.

Unlike other positions in a club the DJ works the ENTIRE SHIFT. There is no time in his shift that he is not doing something. Either cueing the next song, bringing a girl up or down, promoting the girls on stage, finding music or dealing with dancer problems. Often he is doing all of these things at the same time. Even as a bartender on a busy night I could always find a little time to just stand and clear my mind.

Anyone who has DJed for any length of time has had one of those busy nights where he is trying to do every thing at once, keep the pace up-beat and the music going. Meanwhile you have a dancer pissed off in the booth because you played “her song” for someone else and totally ruined her life. The manger (who odds are has never DJed before) is yelling because you were supposed to mention the t-shirts for sale 5 minutes ago and the customers are yelling “fuck the DJ” because a song skipped. What you want to do is tell the dancer to put on her big girl panties and deal with it, tell the manager to get in the booth and DJ if he thinks he can do better and tell the customers that the owner bought the cheapest CD players he could find and is trying to get 2 years out of them. But you don’t. You crack the mic and push the t-shirts, tell the dancer that she’s your best girl and you’ll play “her song” for her later when there’s a big money crowd. Then you get on the microphone and make some self deprecating comment about trying to Dj while drunk. Yea, I’d like to see that customer try this for an hour.

IF you have never DJed before you may wonder “WHY THE HELL WOULD ANYONE WANT THAT JOB?” Ask any of the top jocks in the business and the first answer you get will almost always be the money. Yea it can be great money, but if you think about the amount of work involved per dollar, it’s not all that hot. In talking to other DJ’s I think the real answer is more abstract. When you walk out the door Sunday morning after a big Saturday night, the money in your pockets is great but the feeling is better. When you know you owned the crowd, you had them partying, buying drinks and dances and tipping all the girls; when you know you brought them to the edge without going over, when a customer shout “You Rock!” and the crowd cheers - you know you were in the zone. The music rocked, the mic was tight – you had them. The customers walked out broke but happy, the club, the girls and you all made money. You did a job well, that few can do at all. If you quit the business after a few months you miss the rush. When you walk into a club and hear another DJ (especially a poor one) your palms start to itch and you want to go into the booth and take over the mic, it’s an addiction. The rush you get on a great night is better than booze, drugs, even sex. That’s why I’m a DJ.