It's not like the General didn't know where he was. He knew he was in South East Asia. But he was not a detail guy. In 1968 they didn't have little computers and I was kind of like the Generals PDA. I kept track of things; where we were at any given time, body count, Buddhist holidays.

We had a twin engine, 8 passenger aircraft for the Generals use. Pattaya back then was not much more than a fishing village but down the road a few clicks across and across the street from U-Tapao airfield there was Kilo Sip. Good food and nice ladies and no one (or at least not very many people) trying to blow you up nightly. The General and I had 2000 aircraft total. People were always happy to talk to people with 2000 aircraft back then in South East Asia. Vietnam and Thailand are close. My base in Thailand and my first Thai girlfriend at Sattahip (U-Tapao airfield) were only about an hour away from Vietnam with the General's plane.

Thailand didn't want US soldiers carrying guns off the base. OK that we flew with enough firepower to destroy most of Asia but no gun in the pocket off the base. Now that's just silly. First they gave me a .45 so I went out and bought .45 ammo. To keep things simple I also bought a Thompson submachine gun which used .45 caliber ammo too. The Army was peculiar about guns. They didn't want me to take it back home either. So it is still in Thailand packed in axle grease in a box.

I served two tours of duty in South East Asia and one of those was in Thailand, kind of. Then I went home.

It had occurred to me not to go home but back then I still trusted women and wives in general and my American wife specifically. This was before DNA testing. Now I know or I should say that my oldest daughter informed me (after she got the money from granny) that her mom had a wandering eye and she was not really my daughter.

I was born in the Midwest and as a young man raised in a sportsman's paradise; hunting and fishing in the wilds of Michigan's upper peninsula only a stones throw away from Canada. By the time I was 15 I could shoot and clean a deer and pretty much live on the land for as long as necessary. South East Asia never presented much of a threat to me. The US Army did. The jungle? No. Asian people? No.

After Vietnam I followed the migration patterns of the typical returning Veteran. Colorado to California and back with intermediate stops in Texas and the South West; I missed Boston.

Returning to the States from South East Asia in the 1960's was an odd experience. I realized right away when people started charging me for beer and cigarettes and women didn't like going to bed in pairs. I tried going back to college. A student worker at registration didn't want to give me a course I needed. I held him up by his neck until he changed his mind. My advisor said I was having some adjustment problems. My advisor did approve some unusual course requirements for my graduation. I think he may have wanted to get rid of me. I was tired of college anyway as I kept falling asleep in all my afternoon classes.

The first marriage break up came amidst of flying bottles as my Farang wife tried to kill me with my collection of dark ales.

I left running from Michigan and ended up in the Rockies. I worked in Breckenridge and did the John Denver thing. Then my mountain momma turned out to be wrong and she could have children after all and my 3rd daughter came into the world.

I raised the children. Got a corporate job for the insurance benefits and security. Bought a Volvo because it was a safe vehicle for the children. That done; the children raised I left.

I now live about a block from where I lived in wartime 1968. But I don't live here by design. When I first came back to Thailand I lived in Bangkok close to the Victory Monument in a one room bar girl walk up apartment. No AC and no hot water. My intention was to quickly acclimate myself as I had done when arriving in SEA for the first time. I discovered I was not the same at 60 as I was at 22. It took me three years to get used to the weather difference and that even after I had lived in Florida for 20 years.

Now I only use air conditioning at night when I sleep. But Bangkok half killed me with the air pollution and heat and big city thing. They don't call it the Big Smoke for nothing. I left BKK after three months for Chiang Mai. Chiang Mai is cooler for a few days a year. But there is still smoke and it's worse for 3 months because of the burning of the rice fields. Chiang Mai is similar to Denver in that it backs up against the mountains and the smoke gathers and sits there. On a bad day you can't see across the street. I lasted for three years then moved to Pattaya. I got to Pattaya before the Russian invasion. The Brits dominated the scene and of course the ladies.

I never set out to live with 6 bar girls. I only had one to begin with. Pattaya is not a good environment for bar girls. It brings out the bad and covers the good (if there is any). My bar girl had been happy enough to get drunk party and have sex with me on a nightly basis in Chiang Mai. In Pattaya she took a jump off the edge and landed on the Wild Side. She told me she needed an allowance of 30,000 baht per month. A 40 year old ex dry wall construction worker turned go go dancer ridden hard for 20 years does not normally command a 30,000 baht per month allowance.

I told her to get a job. She did. To reward her work ethic I rented us a large house. She put out the word to her village and friends to help her pay the rent. I was supposed to get the money. I never did.  I lasted a year. The neighbors still tell stories about our tenancy. Then I escaped. First to a motel across the street. Regrouped. Rested for a couple of days.  Made a dash to another apartment close to the Dark Side. And eventually out of town.

Living with 6 bar girls costs a lot of money. It takes a lot of patience. It involves a great deal of stamina.  I couldn't do it again. I was only 60 then a babe in the woods. It was my last hurrah.  Now I have relaxed into a routine. Fruit and low fat yogurt for breakfast. A threesome before lunch for exercise and dinner at the pub. It does add up. 312 different women last year.

But I did figure it out along the way. Money for nothing and the chicks are free. You have to speak Thai. My house is about finished. It's not big but it's new The mortgage is $466 per month.