Lauren Kain–Coolest of the cool of Feature Entertainers

by Jack Corbett


With over 100 entertainers one could pick from that weekend a photographer could afford to be choosy. And for someone like me, Nudes-A-Poppin is an extraordinary smorgasbord of striking entertainers from across the United States. But less than half of them had showed one day early before the main events on Sunday, which was the big day they all competed on stage for the big titles. Still, Saturday had proven to be a great opportunity for the entertainers and photographers to get better acquainted while doing several hours of shooting.

Out of all the feature entertainers performing at Nudes-A-Poppin, Lauren Kaine stood out like a giant above all others.

And it really didn’t matter if I was shooting just two or three girls at a time or twenty, she got my attention and held it while her eyes seemed to home in on my camera lens, the kind of magnetic eyes that miss nothing, mesmerizing eyes that draw a man in. I decided I had to shoot her privately in the little pool by the little rock pile the next day because if I had the right model anyone looking at the pictures would mistake the background for spectacular mountain scenery, the kind that can be found only at Banff or Jackson Hole. I told her she was the most fabulous model in the whole place, then the next day we did a shoot at the pool where she proved it. For a whole year afterwards her phone number on her release continued to haunt me as I kept reminding myself to call her-- to tell her I wanted to shoot her for the Xtreme Weapons calendar. We had many months to get together for a shoot. Surely, she is going to be near St. Louis before we go to press with the calendar. Then I’d talk myself out of it by thinking, “No, she’s from Michigan. That’s too far. She’s a house dancer who doesn’t travel much. Only house dancers can be this good looking.”

A year later she ran up behind me from her booth at Exotic Dancer’s Expo 2003, calling out, “Hey, remember me?”

Ironically I had several freshly printed Xtreme Weapons calendars tucked under my arm. She was a feature entertainer after all, and here she was anchoring down an exhibitor’s booth, networking just like the rest of us. “I would have come down to do a photo shoot to be on that calendar,” she told me after I explained how much I would have loved having her on the calendar. “I’ve been traveling around the country a lot, performing in clubs across the U.S.”

I knew it all the time, sensing that had I called her I would have wound up getting fabulous Lauren Kain shots of her for that calendar with whatever weapon I’d select for her. And even now, I don’t know whether to call her a model extraordinaire or a feature entertainer who can easily hold her own with the top ranking features in the business because normally the best features are not the best models while the best models cannot even begin to compete on the same stage with the best features.

The next time I saw her it was at a Pure Talent Feature Showcase in Baltimore, Maryland. Lauren and more than a dozen feature entertainers from all over the United States were staying at the same hotel, which brought us all together for four days. I would be shooting the features at night, while they would be showcasing their shows at the Ritz in downtown Baltimore, which left all of us on our own during the day.

Lauren was fabulous on the stage night after night, looking as glittery as any feature in the place. And she could really dance with the best of them. Her choreography was superb. Even more impressive-- she was doing it all alone. She didn’t have a boyfriend or a roadie with her on the trip to help with her props or shows or to help her come up with new ideas. I was impressed. More than my words here can begin to express which can perhaps be better explained that last year kept her on the road for nearly fifty weeks featuring in clubs stretching across the continent to such far-flung places as Baton Rouge, Louisiana, Buffalo, New York, Memphis, Tennessee, Brownville Texas, Creekside, PA, and Emerson, North Carolina.

Downtown Baltimore was built on Chesapeake Bay. There is much to see and do on or close to the harbor. On my own I had found a terrific Thai restaurant several miles from our hotel, just out of walking distance. I had to share my find with someone so I started to prowl the hotel for willing feature entertainers. I found, not one, but two who wanted to go with me, so I packed the two women into my Miata sports car. One of the girls, who had made quite a name for herself on the circuit, we will call Lucy. The other I will call Robin. Robin was an older girl, close to forty, who has a wondrous body and the dancing moves of a world class athlete that defies her years. The first girl, much younger, was even better, being perhaps the finest acrobat in all of featuredom. Knowing that three people in a two-seater sports car was against the law, I told the two feature entertainers:

“If a cop see us I want one of you to just drive your little body down onto the floor underneath the other girl so the cop won’t see that there’s three of us in the car.”

And if there were ever two dancers who could accomplish such athletic deeds of heroism to save me from getting a ticket, these two could. Lucy could most likely bend her under five foot frame into the shape of a pretzel while Robin could probably propel herself into a keyhole on a moment’s notice.

Luckily, the cops never saw us driving to the restaurant where we were soon joined by Lauren Kain. And she was alone, and just happened to walk by while taking in the sights when she saw the three of us sitting in the restaurant. Which seemed a bit odd considering that if one waits around the hotel long enough one will find at least one person who’s willing to go out to lunch. Yet Lauren was out by herself, having decided to drive her car downtown without having to wait for anyone. Clearly, unlike most of the human species, she was not a pack animal.

Almost immediately the discussion started to focus around Lucy who started talking about how her life had changed once she had started becoming quite famous as a feature. Throughout the conversation, Robin was quiet, perhaps because she was an older girl who was trying to break into featuredom from being a house dancer and had serious misgivings, not for lack of talent, but on account of her age.

“I now drive a Cadillac Esplanade SUV and have a beautiful condo, and a lot of places I go, people now look up and notice because they’ve seen me in a magazine,” said Lucy. “And now my family knows that I’m finally somebody.”

Lauren listened quietly for a few moments as Lucy continued about her successes as a feature entertainer, and then she unloaded her bombshell.

“But Lucy, all of this is just material things you have bought. And you’re being known so much, all of this doesn’t tell me anything about you. About what you are like, and who you really are.”

Lauren clearly understood the fleetingness of fame and the fickleness of money. Suddenly it dawned on me that here before me was a woman who was a giant in her field. Here was a woman whose incredible beauty was transcended by the soul of a poet, a loner who could be very social, who cannot easily taken in by others–a leader, the protypical Alpha Female.

I could go on about Lauren’s many credits as a feature, such as her being Miss Nude U.S.A’s Hottest stage Personality. To read the long list I recommend your going to her web site at  But I expected that. What I didn’t expect were the underwater shots of Lauren which she did while participating in HBO’s “Real Sex” productions. “So Lauren’s no doubt a certified Scuba diver?” I thought. Just leave it to Lauren to be so utterly different (and beautiful while doing it). She’s a wonderful model, and a stage performer equal to the best in the world. But what sets her apart from all the rest is she’s so utterly cool while being completely Lauren.


Lauren Kain performing at Balitmore Pure Talent feature showcaseLauren Kaine doing show as a robotThe robot Lauren Kaine reveals her true selfLauren Kain doing feature show with giant dildoLauren Kain at Nudes-A-Poppin posing for Jack Corbett

Lauren Kain on Baltimore strip club stage Lauren Kaine at Nudes-A-Poppin, nudeNude Lauren Kain at Nudes-A-PoppinHer brain is even more high powered than her bodyLauren Kaine is one exceptional woman



Lauren Kain's official web site


Adult star entertainers in the Hall of Fame


Xtreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World
Lauren Kaine never got into Extreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World I would have wanted her in my gun articles for Xtreme, it's just that she wasn't at many of the Pure Talent Feature showcases I was covering.  She was a terrific model though, a great entertainer, and one of the most fascinating feature entertainers I ever met.

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