Dick Fitswell moves back to Thailand
by Jack Corbett

The Looking Glass Magazine

Fitwell's Folly

Dick Fitswell moves back to Thailand  so he can fight the Mothers for a More Boring Nation who have taken over the Republican Party 


 Dick Fitswell had long ago decided it was the other way around.  Pure logic dictated that absolute condemnation of public nudity made no sense at all since obviously a bare ass that had never been exposed to the sun was a very ugly thing indeed especially when the rest of the body was well tanned thus exposing the sickly whiteness of what swimming suits and bikinis covered up. Dick Fitswell had decided that nothing less than the complete devotion of his life to combating the Mothers for a More Boring Nation would be worthy of such a talented man as himself. He decided to take a year’s sabbatical off from his law office to spend it in Thailand where he could find the most effective means of fighting the Mothers for a More Boring Nation.

Dick Fitswell had learned while running a Bangkok whore house that Bangkok didn’t hold a candle to Pattaya when it came to unbridled sexual license. Whereas Bangkok was a huge city that had just three main centers of depravity—Pat pong, Soi Cowboy, and Nana Plaza Pattaya combining together as a joint offering to the Gods of all illicit sexual activity. Walking Street alone had over 50 strip clubs. On top of that there were over 2000 beer bars scattered throughout the city with each one having anywhere from three to fifteen "hostesses" whose main goal was to go back to a customer’s room to fuck his brains out. Fitswell had sampled all of Walking Street’s go go bars, and although he liked what they had to offer–which was plenty of sex, he had found them not quite up to what he had in mind.

"Which was what?" Fitswell couldn’t even answer his own question. "Exactly what is it that I’m looking for?" He decided to take a long walk. He started near Big C on Second Road on Soi 2 and slowly made his way down to Soi Seven. He then walked all the way down Soi 7 to Beach Road passing over a hundred bars and at least five hundred whores working them, some of them calling out to him, "Hey sexy man." Two or three bar girls came out into the middle of Soi Seven where they took him by hand trying to coax him into coming into their bars with them to buy them drinks. Not finding anything that was too delectable to pass up, he walked one block South on Beach Road to Soi 8 and proceeded to take it all the way back to 2nd Road.

Soi 8 was just like Soi 7 except Dick Fitswell thought the girls were even friendlier and better looking. Most but not all the bars were lined up in bar complexes that opened out onto the street. These were twenty feet wide at the most. Consisting of two rows of bar stools that faced each other the bar girls stood inside these two rows servicing their customers across cheap counter tops. Each bar had a mama san or "big boss" and a cashier keeping track of the money. Each bar had six to ten bar girls functioning as bar tenders. These bar girls would take each customer’s drink order, bring him his drink, and then put a little container in front of him with his bill inside. Customers rarely paid in advance since it was common practice for the bar girls to keep track of his bin which he would then settle with the bar before leaving.  The girls also had games behind the bar: dice, dominoes, and Connect Four which was a three dimensional version of Tic Tak Toe except there were forty-two squares to put the counters in with four in a row constituting a win. The whole idea of such games was to get the customer and a bar girl together in a situation where there would be no language barrier. Also–once a customer started playing these games with one of the bar girls it would be very awkward of him to refuse to buy her a drink. The girls were much more than bartenders however. Each girl could be taken out of the bar for a bar fine of 200-300 baht (six to nine dollars). Above and beyond the bar fine the customer would then be expected to pay the girl a tip for her sexual services with 500 to 1000 baht being typical of a short time which was anything short of spending the whole night with the customer and 1000 baht for long time.

A young girl sidled up to Fitswell just half way up the Soi and whispered in his ear. "Buy me drink in bar Sexy man." One look at her trim little waist, long legs, and prominent pointy breasts trying to jump out of her t-shirt invited him to say yes. He felt an immediate warmth in his groin. Her breasts beckoned at him. Her slender body got him already imagining himself stabbing his big penis up between her gorgeous legs shooting semen up into her as she screamed at him to stop.

He followed her to her bar and took a bar stool up beside her. She asked him what he wanted to drink and when he replied—a Heineken, she asked him if he’d buy her a shot of tequila.

After she drank her second tequila, she asked, "Feel my milk."------to be continued in the book which you can buy in paperback or two e reader formats from Amazon and lulu.com




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The Looking Glass June 2011

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