Pay Your Pal and the Cambodians
by Jack Corbett

Dick Fitswell tries to stop Pay Your Pal from bombing naked sculptured breasts off Ankor Wat's ancient temple walls  

Disclaimer---We apologize for any confusion due to our sloppiness from using Pay Pal for Pay your Pal and vice versa. 

We were drunk while editing Corbett's story and we couldn't really see any  difference in  Pay Pal's inability to determine between an individual's constitutional rights and Pay Your Pal's lack of respect for ancient civilizations.

Angkor Wat

“Here I am. Finally, I’m set. I’m a lawyer and my future is assured,” Dick Fitswell reflected as he calmly considered the last three years of his life. “I dropped out. I no longer wanted to rule an island or run a whore house or even see how many girls I could fuck. Instead I devoted myself to seven hours of study a day along with more than four hours in the classroom for three long hard years. It’s about time I can devote myself to what I can do for humanity. And now, there’s that appointment with those lawyers from Pay Your Pal.”

*****

But there was to be only one attorney representing Pay Your Pal in what could become the biggest supreme court case since the Dred Scott case before the Civil War. Harvey Massablock, appeared to be the very personification of his name. His head was over a third larger than it should have been. He had heavy dark eyebrows that gave him a brooding appearance while his hands appeared soft and flaccid as if he had never done an ounce of physical work in his life.

Philip Mindlessgame, the CEO of Pay Your Pal, appeared to be Harvey’s opposite. Philip weighed 165 pounds, which was far too little for a man standing over six feet-six. In fact, Philip cut such a thin figure for his height that he had once been mistaken for a water reed by a massive golden retriever which had smashed right through him as the animal sprinted out into a swamp to retrieve a bird one of Philip’s hunting companions had just shot. Philip was just as uncoordinated as he was too slender for his great height. When the dog knocked him down in two feet of water Philip’s head went under. Both his head and body sunk underneath the surface at the same time. Philip tried to raise himself from the water by his arms but found he didn’t have the upper body strength to be successful. He then tried to regain his feet by using his lower torso, but was unable to manage that too. Had he been alone he would have drowned. But one of his hunting buddies ran over to him and jerked him to his feet.

Philip had swallowed nearly a cup of water which was enough to get him spitting, coughing and gurgling. And as he coughed out the stale swamp water he looked all about him through reddened eyes and swore: “I’ll get you son-of a bitches for this!” he screamed. “I’ll have your heads on a pike so help me God. I’ll have you in court for so long, you will wish you had all been still born,” he threatened while still looking around him for imaginary enemies.

But the only things he could see were the hunting companion who had just saved his life and the dog that had mistaken him for a plant. His other hunting buddies were over a hundred yards away surrounded by thick swamp brush, their visibility limited to only 25 yards.

By the time Dick Fitswell was ushered into the executive conference room at the Pay Your Pal Needle Dome, Philip Mindlessgame had cooled down, but just a little.

“I’m not in a very good mood right now, so let me cut this one to the quick,” said Philip. “It’s those fucking Cambodians. They have violated our service agreement when they started using Fuk Sam Bay to buy all those used tires from the Cubans. So we are bringing them to court here in the U.S. With any kind of luck we can freeze all their assets that are being held by the Bank of America.”

“And I am the attorney representing the Cambodians,” Dick Fitswell replied. “Now could you please tell me how they have violated Pay Your Pal’s users’ agreement.”

“Well it’s pretty fucking obvious, isn’t it. It’s their goddamn temples at Angkor Vat. They have pornography all over those walls. Sickening shit, it really is. Those fuckers have no culture and no class. For years those pricks over there in Cambodia have been poisoning the minds of American tourists with all those naked breasts in all those Angkor Wat temple walls.”

“But I’m not so sure the Cambodians have enough assets in American banks worth going after,” said Harvey Massablock.

“I don’t really give a shit,” said Philip. It’s the goddamn principal that counts. Obscenity must be punished wherever we fucking find it.” ------to be continued in the book which you can buy in paperback or two e reader formats from Amazon and lulu.com

 

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