The attention's on Barry, the man
living next door to me at the Sky-Top Guest House, with four Thai women
focusing upon the man who's cracked several ribs. "Tomorrow
hospital" one of them keeps telling him. Another girl says:
"No No. You go tonight." His girl (behind him in this
picture) is one of two girls tending to him daily, and it's the other
girl who usually winds up giving him the massages. He claims that
her fingers pull the pain right out of his chest. Even my girl,
Spicy, to his right wearing the blue top is focusing in on the man.
And the reason is here in Thailand it is the woman's responsibility to
take care of the man, to feed him, to care for him when he's hurt, to
keep the home clean and everything in order, to massage his back when it
aches. Meanwhile in Western Countries such as the U.S. the woman
thinks it's her responsibility to make sure she gets all the attention
while she does everything in her power to think, to act, and to look
like a man. So it's no wonder there's a t shirt for sale that
reads: "Once you go Asian, you never go back Caucasian.
Make no mistake about it, women are
not equal to men. Put a half dozen women in a board of
directors meeting while putting them in charge, and I'll guarantee that
in nine out of ten times things are going to go out of control in there
in a hurry. Since their psychological makeup is vastly
different they simply cannot begin to compete in this role, even though
there might be an exception or two here and there. The
reason is that men tend to think logically whereas women generally
operate more on an emotional level. So in the board room the men
are more apt to get the job done after considering all issues that need
decisions made upon them in a calm, cool, and collected manner.
Men are more apt to make compromises so that everyone gets a share of
the pie so that they can then move onto other issues. And women
are certainly not nearly as strong as men.
But they surely try to be. So
thanks to a carbohydrate rich diet Western women are starting to become
far more competitive with men when it comes to sheer body size.
But most of them cannot begin to match the mens' sheer strength since
most of all that body mass is composed of fat because of their
lack of exercise and fat developing diet. But no matter--Western
women want to look like men, not women. They also want us
not to notice their bodies or value or not value them for the way they
look. And if they do, they call us sexist. We must love them
for themselves we are told or love them for their minds.
But in Thailand both men and women
recognize the basic differences between the sexes and appreciate both
for what they are. The women are recognized as the chief care
givers or nurturers since their basic emotional nature equips them very
well for this role. But men are recognized as the money makers.
And valued for the food, protection, clothing and other material things
they can provide for women and their families. In turn Thai
women look after the man to a degree that is completely incomprehensible
to Western women.
Last night for instance Barry, my
girl Spicy, his girl Eve and I sat at the Jimmie Bar waiting for my pal
Tornado to arrive from the U.S. One of the girls working
there stood behind the bar rolling cigarettes for Barry. He had
placed tobacco and cigarette papers in front of him. So as he kept
talking to all of us with Eve snuggled next to him the girl in front of
us kept rolling cigarettes for him. This kept on for more than an
hour and when she finished there must have been forty cigarettes she had
rolled.
My girl Spicy keeps my Sky-Top room spotless. And she does
the laundry--by hand. The bathroom is just four feet wide by
five feet in length. She will squat on the floor with a
large plastic tub for a couple hours at a time washing all of our
clothes. And since she insists that I change clothes twice a
day on the average, there's lots for her to do in there. And
when she's done she will take all the wet clothes outside to hang
on a clothes line.
She cooks more than half our meals,
and when I say cook, I mean cook. There are no frozen pizzas or
TV. dinners for us, and even though we can buy terrific low cost TV.
dinners at the nearby Seven Elevens she insists on preparing scrumptious
Thai meals from scratch. And she doesn't complain about all
the clothes washing, cleaning, and having to sweep the floors by hand.
But how many Western gals can we imagine sitting on a small bathroom
floor scrubbing clothing by hand in a small wash tub?
I get my ears cleaned out
practically everyday as Spicy hovers over me with a sharp implement and
Q tips which she scrapes my hears with. And if there's anything
hanging out of my nose, she's quick to dig the stuff out with her
fingernails even if we should happen to be in a restaurant. And I
get my toenails and fingernails clipped regularly while working on my
computer.
She doesn't like me taking showers alone and usually insists on
joining me in that confined cubbyhole of a bathroom here and when
I come out she's got all my clothes picked out and laying in front
of me on the bed. In restaurants she wipes my face down with
that little washrag the waitresses often give you. And when
she orders one of those excellent spicy Thai soups they call Sum
Yum, she spoons some of it over on top of my rice before she eats
any of it herself. And if the portions of food we order are
small she makes sure I get the lion's share.
She takes pride in the way she
looks. Even if it's a little trip to one of the bars nearby she
dresses up to the nines. There's none of this crap about wearing a
t shirt over an old pair of jeans or shorts. Although she looks
great in the morning without any makeup she will primp in front of the
mirror putting on a little makeup along with moisturizers that makes her
facial skin feel incredibly smooth. And although it doesn't take
her long to get ready to go out, she's going to always wind up one of
the spiffiest dressers around.
She's five foot four, which is a bit on the tall side for a Thai
woman and 28 years old. But she's recently lost around five
pounds and now weights just 99 pounds. Her figure is
very trim, and almost a sculpture of perfection. She knows I
like slender women so she walks at least three miles with me every
other day. And I don't even have to remind her that we need
to do this. And then we will walk down the Beach from around
Soi Six all the way down to Walking Street and back. On the
way we will see a number of Western men out running and about an
equal number of Thai guys. And each time we will see a
handful of Thai women jogging, but not once have we ever seen a
Western woman either running along the beach or walking for
exercise.
And she absolutely revels in her appearance. If other Thai
women at a bar tell her she's looking fit or is pretty, she will
beam and prance around the place strutting her stuff. And if
I tell her she's beautiful or has the most pretty face she will
just smile up at me and ask me, "Do you love me?
She's a woman who appreciates all the nice things about being a
woman and being appreciated for her womanly virtues.
But from what I have seen and heard all of this is not unusual.
Thai women love caring for their men and learned how to care for
men as a young girl when the family expected her to look after her
father and brothers. They might be fiery in temperament and
the last thing in the world from being subservient, but they do
care for the men and look after their needs almost as if it's an
automatic reflex.
There's hundreds of gals working in
Pattaya giving massages. You can get foot massages and fully nude
oil massages here, but the one I like the best is what they call a
traditional Thai massage. I go to a spa where I put on a pair of
swimming trunks and lie down on a cot where I get worked on from my feet
to the top of my head after directing the masseuse to concentrate on my
lower back where I have a slipped disk. One hour of this costs me
just $2.50. But it seems that most Thai women learn the art
of massage to one degree or the other and my girlfriend is no exception.
So in a pinch I'll have her massage and even walk up and down my spine.
Ask most Western women to massage your back and most of the time all you
are going to get is a limp half hearted rub down that lasts for five
minutes tops.
So leave the number crunching and
finances to me. I'm very good at it. But I'm glad to be
living in a place in which the women stay trim and curvaceous, take
pride in their men, and revel in being feminine while doing all those
womanly things to take care of her breadwinner.
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