Put your foot to the floor and replace that American woman Because when you go Asian you will never go back Caucasian.

Three days from now PlOne and I are heading back to Thailand.  A week later we will be joined by Big Daddy and Hawkeye.  We will be picked up by luxury taxi in Bangkok.  Our driver will be employed by Marty.  Or perhaps Marty will be in the cab taking us to Pattaya, a paradise on earth for men.

So who's Marty?  Find out in the videos below how Marty visited Thailand in 2001 with the Man Tour, fell in love with the country, went back to the East Coast and packed up for good.  Selling his construction company he became a partner in two Thai night clubs, House of Living Dolls I and II, and started tour directing on the side.  And that's how we met Marty.  He was one of our tour directors, our first being Joe Grant, the creator of the Man Tour. 

But with Marty we also got his beautiful young Thai wife, Om and so will you when you experience our first video below.  Living proof that beauty can exist on both the inside and outside, Om became our female advisor, giving us advice on our Thai girl friends, and sometimes talking with them on the phone to clear up misunderstandings due to the language barrier. 

Video number one starts out with General Patton, whose real name is John, not George, but I started calling him that because the man was as resolute, unshakable, and unstoppable as Patton was when he was crunching the German Wehrmacht into Wagnerian oblivion with his tank divisions.  What makes our General Patton so unforgettable is he's 83 years old and getting laid at least twice a day from a variety of Thai women.  

The video shows Patton with one of his many Thai girlfriends in the lobby of the Royal Twin Towers, our Pattaya hotel.   Then Marty takes central stage explaining why Thai women are the finest in the world.  It's when Marty leaves that I corner his beautiful wife to ask her what she sees in a fifty-five year old man who is thirty years older than her.  I'm concerned because I'm 57 attracted to young women.  

It is this lobby in which our Thai girlfriends often meet us.  There is a small bar and comfortable seating here where we can wait for the group to congregate, which can often number up to thirty men and women.  I'm interviewing Om when one of my favorite Thai girlfriends arrives--Som, small in stature, petit, and the essence of cool.  In my brief time in Pattaya I will go out with Som three times.  And it's probably not the last of her since I have her phone number and will be back in Pattaya on Friday, October 22nd. 

Gerald has one of his girlfriends next to him while I'm interviewing Om.  Gerald's an extremely affable black gentleman from the San Francisco Bay area which is where my pal, PlONe is from.  We are a mixed group composed of both blacks and whites from across the U.S. with more than half a dozen New Yorkers with us.  So what we have to say about American women and the Thai girls we are meeting should be taken close to heart because it's the truth, and anyone who says it isn't is either a liar or a fool.  But I have a previous engagement with Som which I announce to terminate the interview as the video switches to Rodney, two attractive Thai women, and myself at a table in a comfortable bar.

But there's something wrong with this scene. This bar is in Bangkok, not Pattaya.  Some of us are on our way to Cambodia.  Some are going home.  Others are staying for several more days.  So it's another night in Bangkok, with a flight to Cambodia the next morning that will force me to get up at 5 a.m. 

I've met this beautiful girl over at Nana Plaza.   She's the second of three terrific ladies I meet at the same Go-Go bar.  Rodney has just picked up a girl he had gone out with before, and I'm disheartened when I find out that the girl I had over night from this same place was no longer there.  My recovery is nearly instantaneous when I spot the girl, who's tall for a Thai girl.  Buying her out of the bar, I discover her English is rudimentary but her attitude is terrific. 

I'm interviewing guys for this video.  Most of them are not on the Internet copy for lack of space.  It's Rodney's turn so we bring the two girls back to our hotel.  On the elevator we encounter General Patton's latest girlfriend who tells us his room number.  So we bring the girls up to my room to get the video camera, then head down to Patton's where I pound on his door.  We need Patton to shoot a video of Rodney and me with both girls on our laps.  But Patton has something else on his mind and doesn't answer the door.

We do the video in the hotel bar and press our waiter into service as the cameraman.  By this time I'm really liking my new girlfriend.  It seems anything we do is just fine with her.  And all the way down the street from her bar to our hotel she's holding my hand or grabbing me around by my waist. 

After a couple of beers and with the video ended we go off separately to our rooms.  The girl spends the entire night with me and is just as passionate in the room as she was on the street walking to the hotel.  But I have to wake up at 5 a.m. and have to wake her up and send her on her way so I can get to the airport in time.  What a waste.  She was just too nice to have to treat like that.

Hours later we arrive in Phnom Phen.  In the evening the guys who had elected to take the Cambodian trip supplement head down to a bar called Martini Boppers.  No...it's not Teeny Boppers, but before it's all over I start to wonder about even that. 

Joe tells us that twenty minutes after our arrival the van is taking its first trip back to the hotel.  He promises us that half of us will have been picked up by Cambodian women in that time. 

The girls at Teeny Boppers are some of the fastest operators I've ever seen.  Before I get more than ten feet past the door a woman grabs me by the hand and starts to steer me to a table.  I haven't even had a moment to look over the place yet and I'm resentful.  Besides, she is not all that attractive.   I try to ignore her but she just won't leave me alone. Finally I head to another room and join several of my friends, walking towards them in such a way that she's cut off.  I force her to step aside to avoid running right up their faces, but even this doesn't stop her.

And then I see a face, a beautiful face a short distance out into the crowd.  I immediately get eye contact. She does not look away.  We walk towards each other closing the distance between us in a second.  And that's it.  I don't remember if I kissed her right then and there or if she kissed me or if all I did was to put my arm around her.  I hadn't gotten much sleep. 

We are in the first trip in the van.  The other half of the guys will be taking the girls picking them up twenty minutes later.  Boyd is sitting behind me in the van and General Patton's in front of me.  Patton is making out like crazy with a young girl who can't be more than twenty-five and might still not be out of her teens.  I watch them French kiss each other.  She doesn't seem to mind that he's 83 years old.

This would be considered gross back in the U.S.   The young girl sitting next to me looks more like seventeen or eighteen than the twenty-two she's admitting to.  In the second video Boyd will refer to her as the girl who is sucking my face.  That van looks more like a bunch of High School Juniors all making out with their dates than the older characters we actually are. 

The young Vietnamese girl spends the night with me.  But that afternoon Joe had gotten busy getting a mini tour together of Angkor Vat.  We fly out early in the morning for a day trip to Angkor Vat which ranks right up there with the Great Pyramid as a monumental hallmark to civilization.  I have to get up once again at 5 a.m.  So this time it's the young Vietnamese who has to leave in a hurry.  But we have agreed to meet back at the hotel lobby at 6 p.m. upon my immediate return from Angkor Vat.

I barely make it back in time.  She's waiting for me--unlike most American women she's right on time, perhaps a few minutes early.  So she makes it into the video, but she's obviously camera shy.  Patton is the cameraman this time. 

The guys go to another night club to pick up women. I decline.  I already have a girl with me so I take her out to dinner, alone.

I think it's the next day that I interview Terry and Boyd.  Both are black Americans from New York City.  Boyd is with the New York Police Department with the bomb squad.

That's on the second video and both Boyd and Terry are on a roll.  Neither has much use for American women, but Boyd's more positive about the beautiful attitudes of Thai women although he dishes the American gals more than a time or two.  With Terry the real anger comes out. 

This video footage really tells it like it is.  Terry might seem to be overly angry with American women, but one has to remember that I have interviewed a lot of guys who do not appear on these two videos.  And all are in agreement.  It had been Peter who had told us on the bus that all American women are pigs and Patton who had commented:  "American women don't know how to make a man feel like a man and they don't care."  Marty, now happily married to Om, had commented in the video that the main trouble with most American women is that they wish to be men and that Thai women are content to be just women.

When I got back to the United States I started going to Chinese restaurants around six days out of seven.  I asked two cute waitresses to visit me at my apartment after work and both came.  Then I took one of them out.  But she's moved far away.  The other girl's awfully cute.  But her English is nowhere close to the first girl's.  But she's awfully cute.  And while around either of them, I noticed certain things stirring around inside me that don't normally move around when I'm around most American women.  But then again, I get the same lack of sensations around men. 

But for now, it's back to Thailand.  See everyone in about a month.  If I'm a little late publishing the next issue of "The Looking Glass", you will know why.

Meet General Patton, who might be 83 but that doesn't stop him with the Thai women. He tops us all but I suppose that's what makes him Patton and the rest of us just mere mortals.  Meet Marty, who sells everything he owns on the East Coast and moves to Thailand where he married Om, who is barely 24.  In this video Om speaks out on why she and other Thai women believe age when it comes to men is not a factor.  You will then meet Gerald and one of his Thai girlfriends, then Som who I went out with three times and will probably see again within the week.  You will then meet Rodney and the two young Thai girls from Bangkok who went back with us to our hotel.  Finally you will meet a stunningly attractive young Vietnamese girl I went out with on two consecutive nights in Cambodia.

Boyd and Terry let it all hang out--what they love about Thai women and what they dislike about American women.  Men and women both who are reading this need to listen to these guys who speak so well on the subject, so forcefully, eloquently at times and finally with anger, especially Terry.  Two finer spokesmen for what we all felt couldn't be found, and when you listen to them speak, I think you will have to agree. 

And here's Pattaya 16 years ago, when BIg Daddy, Jack, Plonee, Ross and the rest of the gang take a trip down memory lane.  Today, Pattaya's a ghost town and everyone's wondering it will ever recover from it's second shutdown to stop the virus. This video will take you to Walking Street's Blues Factory where Big Daddy's buying tequilas for everyone, including the band.  You willl meet Lee, the dart girl who can shoot darts from her nether regions right out of the hands of the customers at Soi 8's Sexy A Go Go.  Here you will be meeting other bar girls as Jack tries to get them  out of camera phobia.