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A View from the Cheap Seats by Baron I walked along the river path a dark brooding wind… it was two miles to my studio which in midwinter would be ice cold. But I could split some firewood and kindle a cedar flame, feeding it tried pitched fir then quartered poplar. I’d been working on a painting for a month for a show in Berlin which Dara had lined up for me. It seemed impossible… abstract art had to be the hardest and he couldn’t do any other… that was the way of it.
The tough winter I’d cut short with a trip to Thailand in March… Maybe I’d paint there. Too and I’d run through my Gallery in Astoria. Why Astoria… simple it was all I could afford, unless I went to Oklahoma, but I’d been there once in a hellacious storm in which ball lightening had roared down a field of fiercely drenching rain. It was raining so hard they were forced to stop the Maverick dead in the road as we watched the ball lightening roll down the field… One big ball dammit… big ball.
Oh, yeah I’ve been watching football this year… to keep touch with my internet gambling addiction. I started out with 50 bucks and soon turned it into two fifty… cheap entertainment… god if I‘d been betting thousands I‘d be one happy guy. I was placing twenty dollar bets and within four weeks had already taken out ninety-five bucks… big money. I’d won thirty this weekend and my roll was 16… We had three weeks before the playoffs… with any luck I’d make $300 by the end of the season… my investment wad, I finally had it going.
So I kept working on the odds and started writing again… god knows why, nobody reads anymore. I started thinking about those damn replays that they put on the NFL games… and the challenges… and the referees… and then the mindless broadcasters… who blithely spout idiocy as the second guess the referees with their spy-cam and zillion angles showing slow motion detail of the ball the ground the foot out of bounds control of the ball and I don’t have a brain… so I’ll second guess the zebras for the rest of the night. Whoopie!!!
No way… ain’t gonna happen… I think each announcing squad should have a referee and a league reprehensitive to balance the game analysis… in the meantime they should add a psychic and tarot reader too… to analyze the significance of things in relationship to the stars and spiritual matters… and maybe an astrologer with a high speed computer to analyze the Packers defensive play calling in third and twenty-one situations.
We could have guest analysis’s to analyze the analysts… defensive backfield specialists to analyze defensive backfield play… an endless supply of jobs could materialize pumping up the already red hot economy. We could employ entire emerging nations full of analysts… no one would really have to work ever again… Jesus… Give me Cossell in his nasal Brooklyn voice rather than any of these sycophants who try to raise loyal fans to ire by repeating replaying the obvious. Plus just one more point for the producers. The play starts on the snap… not when after the third angle slow motion replay is done. Jesus the arrogance!!!!!!!
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