Rules of the human kingdom of
Leechdom as published in adult magazines by Jack Corbett
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Just don't try to worm into her life. The worm got there
first.
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Do not drive a nice car around her. Instead get a $300
car that proudly announces your arrival as a leech
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If you have a job, hide it from her
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Do not be nice to her since she will only think you want
to fuck her. Instead be mean and cruel so she will think you are being
sincere.
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Woo her with drugs, then cement the deal by threatening to
cut her off once you get her hooked. (Does not work on all victims susceptible
to leeches)
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Act helpless so your topless dancer girlfriend will think she needs to fix you...posing
as a drug addict, alcoholic, homeless, and/or chronically unemployed will
help here. (See Corbett's masterwork
"Goodbye
Darwin)
Ask her for her money whenever possible and never, never
volunteer your own since she will not respect you
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Never be gallant in any manner and whatever you do, don't
open doors for her, send her flowers, pull out her chair for her, etc
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Never forget that the main reason for your miserable existence
is to get your victims pregnant so you now have a job of babysitting the
baby leeches while the bread winner is working to support everyone else.
But take heart even though down you know you are not worth a shit. You
get to fulfill your life's ambition to watch television while drinking
the beer someone else has paid for while pretending that you are
important (after all, you are now a father).
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