Hernia with two girls?  Hernia City.  My first one.  Such fun.   Then there’s those kind of doctors.

The kind who are so busy making their rounds, that they just don’t get it—that the patient isn’t responding to the prescribed treatment and don't care as long as the patient is paying for his visits.    I had gone to a urologist, one of the best, my Dad had told me.  Taught medicine so he just had to be good.  He put me on an anti inflammatory that would keep both the swelling and the pain down.  My internist I had seen before him had put me on another inflammatory.  Neither prescription worked.  There was little swelling visible but I felt the gnawing pain every day.  That went on for over ten months and the urologist like the internist told me each visit—"Keep taking the inflammatory".   Then I saw a woman doctor who specialized in sports medicine.  Her prescription was a series of exercises—nothing hard or jarring.  But that didn’t do it either.   During one of my visits to the internist I asked him:  "Could I have a rare and new form of sexually transmitted disease?   I’ve been to a few clubs and done it with a dancer in the hot tub.  And without a rubber.  Possibly a new strain of aids."

"Very doubtful," the internist told me.  I wouldn’t worry about that.  You have to be doing something really unusual to get it.  Something that’s going to tear you up."   I felt like an idiot asking such a stupid question but the doctors didn’t have any answers .   But I did, telling myself, "Fuck it.  I’m getting to the bottom of this."  I had been trying to do the cross country skiing machine but after a couple days of moderate exercise the pain had simply gotten to be too great.  "I’m going for broke," I vowed.  "One of two things is going to happen. It’s either going to get better or worse."

I started doing thirty minutes a day, punishing myself mercilessly.  The swelling started showing a few hours after the first session.  After the second there was a large bulge.  When the  woman doctor saw it she recommended my going to  a General Surgeon.

The General Surgeon took just one look at it, then said:  "You’ve got a hernia.   I’ll have to operate.   See you next week," he continued as he filled out a little card that told me when and where to show up.  It was that night or the next night that I told Jan.  Then I gave her the bad news.  It would be a few weeks before I should be having sex again.

"I want to be your sendoff," Jan replied.  I want it from you before you get operated on.  I want to be the last girl you do it with."

The idea of getting operated on was a scary thought— down there so close to my appendage.  "Only one thing to do about it," I decided.  "That’s to really live it up. "  I was  barred from C Mowes for decking the bouncer.  It was time to once more pay the club a visit.  In disguise and this time I was going to take Jan with me to share the laughs..  I had gotten a pair of brown contacts just for situations like this and some black hair dye.

The plan was for us to go out, then call Joe when Jan was ready to go home.  So after picking Jan up at the apartment we drove the Miata to Cheeks which was a topless club only a block from C-Mowes and from there we walked to the club.  Everyone knew the Miata and I wanted to get in the club, not get kicked out of it with my tail dragging.  No one said anything or pretended to notice anything unusual as we walked in.  Normally I’m likely to sit at the bar with or without a date.  This time I got us a table a few tables  down from the bar so we could order from the waitress instead of Patty, a bartender I had always gotten along with.  But that wouldn't matter.   She knew me and I was certain that she had probably been ordered to have me evicted on sight.  Nipples and I had once called the club and I had asked if we could come in together.   The owner told me, "You are barred for life." 

Just a few days after I knocked the bouncer from C-Mowes strip club clear off his feet and had to be dragged off of him by three guys

I had sent a letter of explanation to the owner, in which I had described how the bouncer had rammed me up against the wall and hit me in the face first, but no one wanted to hear my side of it.   The way they saw it, I was a very violent man who had attacked the bouncer first.  

It took only several beers to bring me to my right senses which was having no sense at all.  "Watch this," I said to Jan as I got up to go to the bar for our drinks.  A dancer who knew me was talking to Patty, but I just had to do it.  Pushing the edge is part of what I’m about and I love taking chances.

"I’ll have two bottles of Bud," I asked Patty as her eyes got wide after hearing my voice.  Then she looked at me and asked:  "I know you, don’t I?"

"I've seen you in here before," I said wanting her to hear my voice again."  Once again a funny look came from her eyes.  She knew my voice.   Knew it well but it was the brown contacts that put her off.   She also knew my blue eyes.  But mine were now brown and she couldn’t quite put it together.

Finishing our drinks we headed to Platinum Paradise Show Club which had once been the Paradise Club when Bob Romanik owned it but which had recently been bought out by the Platinum Club over in Brooklyn.   A few minutes after we got our first beers, Joe joined us.  "When do you want me to come back here?" he asked.

"Give us around an hour and a half.  We’ll be right  here at this bar then."

We finished our beers soon after he left, then went to the motel which was less than a mile away from the club.  The Platinum Paradise Show Club was out in Centreville just behind PT’S.  Out there which was not that far off from all the other clubs one almost got the sense of being out in the country.  There was a wide expanse of space surrounding both clubs and during the summers there would be vendors outside the two clubs grilling hamburgers and Pork steaks or bratwursts.  The motel was one of those places that charged around twenty-five  bucks for a room.   One drove up to a building where there was a gate you had to drive through.   Once inside the gate the rooms adjoining each other formed three sides with the office being the fourth side of a rectangle.  Since the gate and the office hid the rooms and parking area behind them I had always felt that my car was safer than in most of the other motels in the area.  Although the motel was just off highway 157, less than a hundred yards from the road one had to try hard to notice it through the trees around it.  You could easily be looking for it and miss it even if you drove past it several times unless you knew exactly where it was at.

"Time to party," I said to Jan as I unlocked the door to the room.  I had a six pack for myself and another six pack of wine coolers for her.  Then Joe entered the room.

"Hey....When you are done with the room just leave the keys inside.  When I meet you back at the club we’ll have access to the room without asking you for them."

"Joe. I’m getting operated on in a couple of days.  Hell...you never know. I might not make it," I joked.  Take our picture, will you?"

Then I picked Jan up as she grinned back at the camera.  "Hell with that hernia" I had decided.  Can’t screw anything up now.  It’s already screwed up."

After Joe left Jan and I stripped off our clothes and went to it.  For Jan fucking was as natural as breathing.  It was easy for her to talk about it and just as easy for her to do it. In bed she would laugh and joke. She could put a man at ease in a way that few could.  And if I should ever meet a man who’s repeatedly guilty of premature ejaculation, I’m sending him to Jan. I can just hear her telling the guy after sensing his initial tenseness–"Who are you trying to impress?  I’m just your common ordinary whore.  Kindof like the girl who lived next door."  And the way she would say it, with more than a touch of country twang could get practically anyone laughing.

"I would remember her on the operating table," I said to myself as we drove back to the club.  Time for—more beer. Joe must have been watching for my car. He had this way of fading into the background.  Might have seen us from a side street or been parked in the club off in the shadows.  A few words of talk, then I was alone.  But not for long.

Some of the dancers were decorating the club for Christmas.  Several had come in on one of their nights off.  One of them was the 19 year old blonde.  I bought her a beer then asked:  "How long do you have to stay here?"

"Oh, I can leave whenever I want.  I just came in because I was bored."

"I’ve got a motel room just down the street.  Have beer and wine coolers in the room.  Then I told her what I’d pay her which she readily agreed to since the club had not been able to match my offer.  "Two friends of mine might already be there," I then said.  "But I think they’ve already left."

In the room I offered her a wine cooler and grabbed a can of Bud for myself.  Taking off my shirt I waited for something to happen but nothing did.  The blonde lay there on the bed with her back propped up to the wall against the pillow--an effigy, a little doll unanimated.  Jan would have had her clothes off as soon as I popped the first can.  I had been with the blonde twice in the club’s hot tub but both of us had been drunk.   There had also been a time limit which made her acutely aware that she had to get down to business or lose mine.

"Let’s just take our clothes off," I said as I pulled my pants down.  No effect on the little blonde doll who just continued to lie there sucking on her wine cooler.  It took my lying next to her and taking off her top to get her going.  But she continued to lie there  naked next to me, she lay inert like a statue of marble.  I had to help her get out of her clothes and still---nothing.  

Her body was slender.  Her breasts small, well formed and nubile.  She continued to be inactive.  She took the prize--- out of all the women I’ve ever been with she was in a class by herself–playing the statue of inertial.  "No matter," I said to myself, as I heard someone at the door.

Jumping out of bed I expected to find the motel's night manager at the door.  Instead I found Jan and Joe.  Almost naked (I did put on my jockey shorts out of respect for motel management) I watched Jan’s face break out into a huge grin.   Joe’s jaw about broke out of his face.  They had left me in the club only a half hour earlier and here I already had another girl in the room.  Uttering a quick,  "Excuse me.  I’ll call you later, he whisked Jan back to his car and I went back to the blonde.

All I remember after that is her lying there inert as she allowed me to do whatever I wanted.  Her figure was delectable but the memory of her trim body would soon be dissipated by all the beer and tequila I would drink later on when we returned to the club.