I needed Nipples to sign off on "Death on the Wild Side".  She was the novel's main female character and although she's not the suing kind, I didn't want to take any chances.  Besides---there was the question of being fair.  Since much of the book was true, publishing it would reveal too much of what had gone on privately between us. That is--unless, Nipples, the book's heroine should be adequately compensated.  I got her to agree to $200.00 front money along with ten percent of the gross proceeds on all book sales for the first year after its publication.

She met me at the gas station just down the street from where Main Street used to operate as a topless club and close to where Miss Kittys and the Jewel Box are on Bunkin Road but they weren't there then.   Someone gave her a ride and she caught me pumping gas into my little red Miata sports car.  Standing just several feet from the Miata she stood in front of me in a tight little skirt and started to straighten it behind her.   Then farted.  "No doubt already tipsy," I thought, "but that's Nipples."

We sat at one end of the bar at the Platinum Paradise Show Club over in Centreville and ordered our drinks.  Then the nurse came over from the dressing room and sat alone a few bar stools down from us.  

"See the blonde sitting over there," I told Nipples.  "She looks like you.  First time I saw her in here I thought it might have been you with your hair styled differently."

Nipples suddenly became very quiet as she studied the nurse, her eyes showing intense interest.  Then she blurted out, "But I'm younger and prettier than her."  

Platinum Paradise Show Club had become my favorite club.  For a short time I had been barred from both Main Street and Cheeks, and for a much longer time I found myself barred from C-Mowes for decking Larry.  Which necessitated a new stomping ground.  I found Tamara working at the Platinum Paradise Show Club who had been a real pal of mine at C-Mowes.  Tamara had lived in Litchfield, Illinois not much more than twenty miles from my farm, and I had taken her to work a few times and then there were those other times we drove back together when she had been working the night shift.  Her husband had worked a few days for me at the farm and we had all gotten to be pretty close.  Through Tamara I had gotten to know Star who she respected more than any of the other girls and from then on I had gotten to know a lot of the other dancers on both the day and night shifts.  

The night shift had just been coming in.  Several of the girls came over to the bar to talk to me as I sat there with Nipples who started to show the unmistakable signs of jealousy.  But as time went on most of the girls found customers who they sat down with at the tables that were strewn throughout the club.   This included the nurse who had sat down with one of the patrons.  

"We need a witness," I said to Nipples.  "And it's better to have two of them.  The nurse is really a nurse.  I have her phone number and she's stable.  She'd be perfect as a witness.  Let's join them at their table."

By this time Nipples had started to drink heavily which wasn't unusual for her.  I had talked to the nurse about Nipples before who seemed anxious to meet the girl who was to become the main female character in a novel.   So when we came up to the table, the nurse introduced us to her customer as we sat down with them.  

"Judy," I said to the nurse.  "I've asked you to witness Nipples and me signing this release for my coming novel.  Then I turned to the customer and said:  "Henry.  Would you witness it too?"

"No problem," the man replied.  

Then I gave Nipples a number of type written pages from the novel and asked her to read them.  These were from the novel's final chapter.  By this time both Nipples and Frank Harring had become entirely fictional characters even though most of the novel was accurate in its recounting of many of our adventures together.   I had Nipples and Frank Harring learning that they had both contracted aids in the final chapter.  The book's two main characters decided  they were doomed to a slow death then agreed to kill themselves.

Nipples read a few pages then threw them down on the table.  "I don't have aids.  You know I don't have aids, Jack.  Do you have aids?"  Then she looked at me through narrowed eyes and said softly, "You probably have aids.  All the girls you've fucked."  Then in full view of the nurse and her customer she punched me in the ribs.

"You don't have aids.  I don't have aids," I replied.  "It's only a book.    It's fiction.  In the book we will both die and everyone who reads it will know we are both alive.  So it doesn't mean anything."

"Yes it does, Jack," she snapped.  "You are lying.  I don't have aids.  I'm not signing anything."

"Okay.  Let's all have a drink together," I suggested.  I'm buying for all of us."  

By the time we had all gotten into our drinks things had quieted down.   Enough time had passed for me to come up with an idea.  "I'll tell you what," I told Nipples.   "I'll agree not to have you or me die of aids.  "Here, I'll even put it into writing," I said to her as I pulled the two copies of the release out of the envelope along with two one hundred dollar bills.  Then I took out a pen and carefully wrote on the release:  " I will not have Frank Harring or Lori Mellon (Nipples real name in the novel) dying of aids."  Then initialed what I had just written.   A few minutes later I had the signatures of Nipples, the nurse's, and her customer's on the release along with their addresses and phone numbers with the exception of Nipple's phone number since she didn't have a phone. 

We stayed at the table drinking with the nurse and her customer.   Nipples continued to get tipsier as one or two girls came over to cut up with me.  Then suddenly Nipples face changed, her eyes becoming two narrow slits as she raised her voice.

"Call me a cab, Jack.   I want to go home.  You can stay here and have your fun since you have a few girl friends working here."  

Bad news.  The other personality had come out.   She'd be uncontrollable.  Time to direct my full attention at her and only her.   "If you want a cab, I'll get you a cab," I said, "but I'd rather not.  I want to be with you.  Only you.  Not the others.  I caught a look of slight surprise in her face as she said:

"You do.  You want to be with just me?"

"Don't you get it?" I replied.  "We came here only to have that release witnessed and signed.  I like some of the other girls but you know I like you the best.  Think I wrote a novel about them?"

"Then, let's get out of here," she said.  Let's go to Boomerangs.  And leave your whores here."

******

Outside the air was warm as we got into the Miata and started to drive down route 157 towards Collinsville.   We were on the Bluff Road. To our right were the river bluffs while in the distance off to the left we could barely make out the Arch and the St Louis skyline over in Missouri.  Although Nipples had once again acted up in a club which was normal for her, she was still my favorite and I'm sure she could sense this as I put the little sports car through a series of gear shifts.  

"Why are you divorcing your wife?" she said.

"You know why.  I've told you the whole story."

"But she loved you.  I think she was a good woman," Nipples continued.

"It's over.  Or it's going to be soon," I replied.  "Leave it alone."

"She was a good woman," Nipples droned on, obviously very drunk.  Then she raised herself out of her seat and hovered over the little console where the gearshift and ash tray were, put her arms around me, and put her face right in front of mine as she started kissing me.

I almost missed the next corner.  Her blonde hair fell over my eyes.  Her face was in front of mine. I had no view of the road ahead of me.  Still, I didn't want to stop myself from returning her kiss as I looked to my right to judge how far I was to the left of the spot where the pavement ended.  Thirty seconds passed but by this time she had settled into my lap.  At least her face wasn't in my way.  

"You can shift while I clutch," I said to her.  We had done this a few times before and most of the time we were both drunk.  She was like a little girl when we did that.  Her sitting on my lap while I steered and clutched with my right foot as she watched my moves as she tried to shift at the right times.  One night we had tried it I ended up losing fifth gear but was able to fix the problem the next morning at the farm after driving all the way home down the interstate in fourth.   

Fifteen minutes later we were sitting at the bar at Boomerangs in Collinsville which was owned by John and Sandy who would later end up owning Bourbon Street in the Travel Lodge Motel where I would end up staying an average of two nights a week and taking an apartment a mile and a half away where I'm living now.  

Boomerangs was a popular sports bar then but by this time it was getting late and the crowd had thinned out.  On our second or third beer together Nipples suddenly blurted out.   "How could you do it?   Why'd you fuck my best friend?"

"Because you stood me up. That's why.  And I didn't fuck her.  I almost did but I couldn't when it came right down to it."

"You're a liar."

"I'm not lying.  She was too fat.  I just didn't want to do it in that limo when it got right down to it."

"She told me you fucked her.   I wouldn't do that to you.   Suppose I had done it with your best friend, Jim?  How would you feel?  How would you feel, Jack?"

Then she changed the subject.   "You don't like kids.  My kids are good kids.  Why don't you like kids, Jack?"

"From the first time I met you I confided in you," I replied.   "It's not that I dislike kids.  It's just that it doesn't work out.  It hardly ever does.  You know what happened between me and my wife.  We are about to have a divorce."

Then she started kissing me, right in the bar.  The only thing I remember after that is somehow getting her home over on the Missouri side, then going back to the farm, fighting against falling asleep at the wheel.  Nearly falling asleep nearly twenty times, then catching myself at the last instant before driving off the road as the sun started to come up on the horizon.