Since I wrote last month's article, so much has happened that instead of writing about a typical subject, like PMing equipment or working with features, I'm writing about what has happened this last month.

Sapphires Gentlemen's Club hosted The True Gem Awards with Lexi Lamour, Samantha Starr, Rashell Ryan, Kloey Love, Carrie Bare, Leslie LaRoux, Montana Steele, and Regan Anthony. A line-up like that is truely a pleasure to work with. DJ Batman was in helping with the MC duties and as always we had a scream. Along with the True Gem Awards we have the Best Of Iowa competition which is open to all house girls and road girls who work the Iowa clubs. There were so many awesome shows with pyro, shower shows, and stage props you don't see unless you go to one of these showcases.

Jake was in shooting for Exotic Dancer magazine , as well as, the new Sapphires website. I'm really scared with as many pictures that were taken of me and only hearing about the Christmas party pix that I've yet to see. We normally have a pool party (infamous) after the Friday competition but this year, do to new management at the hotel, we couldn't have the pool after-hours. When Kristin ,one of our owners, found this out, someone asked where everyone was going and she replied, " Teddy's room"... Needless to say when you end up with 5 of the features, their photographers, and ontarages in one hotel room things were fun. Decked out with crime scene tape on the door, refreshments for all, and me wearing a bullet-proof vest we were braced for the festivities...

My band, LyinHeart , started playing out regularly. I've been setting up our web-site,  and that has been quite time consuming, as well as, a learning experiance fro me. Playing smart-ass rock music out of Iowa and booking into five states has kept my plate and my schedule full. We carry more stage set than 90% of all the opening acts I've seen with Pantera, Motley Crue, or any other large production show. Our tunes are tongue in cheek humor, double meanings, and strip club oreinted( I wonder why?) ... Daniel "Stinky" Kluiter, Brandon Kluiter and Tom Ogle round out the line-up in LyinHeart. We started recording May 10th at Ogle studois (conveniently owned by our bass player!!!) and shold have MP3's on the site before long.

Dan, our drummer, told me yesterday he woke up in the middle of the night, turned on the TV and Regan Anthony was on Jenne Jones !!! He said the last time he saw her was in our hotel room 2 weeks ago... The gathering in the hotel room finally wound down around 6 am. A 3 engine company fire alarm was pulled from the hotel and someone in every room said, "Teddy!!!"... The award I got was 'Most Likely To Be Blamed For A Fire Alarm' !!! The firemen were running the halls , all the fire doors closed, and Stinky and I slept through it !!!

Working with features used to be stressful, but after getting to be friends with some of the top touring features it's taking the stress out of it... Working at a club like Sapphires where everyone is family and the features are all adopted, and having Crow , Bonehead, and DJ Batman all there pushing the buttons and co-MCing makes for a smooth running entertaining show and a helluva lot of fun !!!

Next month I'll write a regular article. This month I'm still a little numb ( and hung-over ) from everything that has been going on around here... Don't forget to check out the LyinHeart site  and I'll look forward to hearing from some of you. Until next month...

"Krazy/Special" Ted " 's A Dick" ( Don't ask)