Pattaya night clubs Jack Corbett interviews Uncle Bufford   Uncle Bufford the old fart  living in Pattaya for eighty years  knows everything about Pattaya night clubs Jack -- Uncle Bufford, I am glad that you can be with us tonight.   Uncle Bufford -- The timing worked out well for me also,   Jack-- I have been putting up your Walking Street Go Go bar reviews for years now. And your Naklua Bar reviews as well along with your Soi Six Reviews. Can you tell us where you are spending most of your time now?   Uncle Bufford --I've not been doing a lot with either the Walking Street Go Go bars or the Naklua Bars lately. I've found that Soi Six is really where guys should be spending most of their time if it's women they are after.   Jack --What do you you mean by if it's women they are after? Does this mean that a man should be going to the Walking Street go go bars or Naklua's beer bars for reasons other than women?   Uncle Bufford -- Yes and no. The Naklua Bars still have their place. But as far as Walking Street, I don't know of any self respecting expats who go there much. And if they do, it's only because their friends who don't know better are wanting them to go with them.   Jack -- So you still go to the Naklua Bars but find the Walking Street go go bars pretty much of a waste of time?   Uncle Bufford -- There's a lot of expats living in Naklua full time who like to socialize at the Naklua beer bars. There's a good chance they might run into their friends there. Also...many expats have known the bar owners for years so for them such bars are like the neighborhood bars they used to go to in the U.S., England, Germany or wherever.   Jack -- Can you tell me a little about a couple of these Naklua bar owners.   Uncle Bufford -- Two that come to mind are Pen and Leo. One's Thai. That would be Pen. The other is American. Pen's had her bar for six or seven years now. I have a Norwegian friend who swears by her. He tells me that it doesn't matter how much he gets drunk, Pen and her girls will never cheat him by overcharging him for drinks. Moreover, Pen genuinely likes her good customers and it doesn't matter where they come from. She was telling me a couple of times that she didn't like some of the girls working her bar the Norwegian had been bar fining and that she hoped he'd find better women. Then I had an American friend who'd email me from the U.S. asking me to tell Pen that he was coming in on a certain night and that he'd be arriving late. That she should keep the bar open for him. I think he must have come in around 2 or 3 a.m. and he'd have the taxi take him direct to the Pen Bar from the airport in Bangkok. He'd just have the driver let him out at the bar and he'd unload his bag there. Then he'd have Pen or someone working at the bar take him to his hotel after he had enough to drink.   Jack -- And what about Leo?   Uncle Bufford -- He owns the Leo Blues Bar on Naklua Soi 18. He lives only a kilometer or two away. Leo is simply a lot of fun to talk to. He's hilarious and tells a lot of great stories.   Uncle Bufford -- He's also one of the few Americans left around here. Anyway...he's had the Leo Bar now for something like six years or more.There's also a German Thai owned bar next to the Pen Bar. It's called TJ Bar. The man's German but his wife is Thai. Both of them will keep coming around to talk to all their customers making them all feel welcome.  TJ Bar has a lot of lady boys. But their ladyboys are not the pushy ones. They will leave you alone unless you don't want to be left alone. Thing about TJ's is the music there is awfully good. Most of it's old English and American popular music. Ironically it's the Germans who seem to like TJ's the most. That's because from what I've seen most Germans simply don't have the bad taste to enjoy the shitty kind of music that most bars play around here now. But the Americans and English will. We don't even appreciate our own masterpieces of the past.   Jack -- What do you like about Soi Six?Uncle Bufford -- It's the Promised Land, I tell you. It's where all men of good common sense should go. They need to keep out of Walking Street and go there instead.Jack -- So what's wrong with Walking Street?   Uncle Bufford -- It's for tourists, and anyone who keeps going there is a tourist who doesn't know any better.   Uncle Bufford --Who wants to pay 140 baht a beer, have to pay a barfine of 1000 baht or even more, and then have the girl expect him to pay at least 2000 baht short time. That's $4.50 a beer and 32 bucks just to buy her out of the bar. Plus another sixty or more for her and that's just for 30 minutes of sex.   Uncle Bufford --If he buys just one beer for himself and one drink for her it's going to cost him at least 100 dollars to get laid.   Uncle Bufford -- I can find sex cheaper in America. I didn't come all the way out to Thailand to have to spend that kind of money.   Jack -- But perhaps the girls are better down in those go go bars.Uncle Bufford   Uncle Bufford-- No they aren't. First off a lot of go go dancers have an attitude. Keep in mind that in Thailand money is number one. Go go girls are at the top of the food chain. It costs 1000 baht to even buy them out of the bar versus just 300 baht in most beer bars. And nowdays you can get free lancers all day long and not pay any sort of bar fine. So the go go girls often think since they cost a lot more, then they really must be something special.   Jack --How would you rate the looks of most go go dancers compared to say the girls over on Soi Six?   Uncle Bufford --There are a lot of stunners in the go go bars to be sure. But more than half of them are now pretty fat and ugly. It so happens that a lot of the women in Pattaya are now getting onto a fast food kick just like they are in much of the rest of the world. They go out with a lot of Western men who feed them Western food and they develop a taste for it, and then there are all those Seven Elevens and Family Marts all around Pattaya these days.   Jack -- And what about the Soi Six girls?   Uncle Bufford -- There's a lot of ugly girls over on Soi Six. Even more than in the go go bars. But, you have to consider that there are over sixty bars in one long city block on Soi Six. Figure say an average of half a dozen girls at each bar and you have over 360 to choose from in a very small area. Believe me, there's a lot of lookers on Soi Six too.   Jack --Now why would a really good looking Thai woman ever want to work out of a Soi Six Bar?   Uncle Bufford --Money.   Jack -- Come on Uncle Bufford -- Suppose a girl starts to work over on Soi Six at 3 p.m. and she finishes at 1 a.m. when the street pretty much closes. She can turn one trick per hour over say ten hours and at an average of say 700 baht a trick that's 7000 baht. That's $225 and if she's working only five days a week that's over $1100 a week or $55,000 a year, which is not all that bad for a lady from a poor family in Issan.   Jack -- So what does the customer get out of an arrangement with a Soi Six girl?   Uncle Bufford --He pays just 300 baht for the room upstairs where he bangs the girl and he only pays her 700 baht for the boom boom. That's just thirty bucks all told with no complications. Plus while he's in a Soi Six Bar he can be drinking with his friends for a lot less money than he'd be paying on Walking Street and chances are he's getting his dick rubbed down while he's talking to his buddies. Life simply doesn't get any better than that.   Jack -- So how do you go about banging a Soi Six girl?   Uncle Bufford --There's all these girls hanging around just outside all those Soi Six bars. Many of them are trying to get your attention and get you to come into the bar with them. If you see someone whose looks you like, you smile at her and indicate that you are following her in the bar. She will then have you sit on a couch or a long couch like chair in front of a table. Then she will sit next to you after she gets your drink order. From then on her mission is to get you so excited that you are driven into taking her upstairs.   Jack --Okay. So you have an erection. Then what happens?   Uncle Bufford --She's probably fondling your cock by then.Be certain to now tell her what you are going to pay her. I never ask her what she charges because then she will ask for too much and if she backs down from her asking price she will be losing too much face. So what I say is this...."I pay for room, 300 baht. Okay? And then I pay for you 700 baht. Okay? Chances are she will agree with that price but if she asks more I recommend that you stand your ground and do not offer one baht more.   Jack -- So what happens if she does not agree to 700 baht?   Uncle Bufford -- i urge you to stay firm and not back down. If she still does not bulge then I suggest you go onto the next girl you like. In another bar perhaps. You probably won't get two in a row to refuse to go with you for 700 baht. You can always come back later to the first girl on another night and offer her the same 700 baht again. THere's a good chance she will take it the second time around.   Jack -- So what do you do, you pay the girl afterwards?   Uncle Bufford -- Yes. Absolutely. I must emphasize that you settle your bar bill and pay for the short time room upstairs, and only after you do that do you take the girl upstairs.   Uncle Bufford --There is one bar that decided to make a habit out of cheating me. This Bar is Passion Dance Club. The first time I took this girl upstairs I told the girl, "I will pay you 300 baht for the room plus 700 baht for you. Is this okay? Well...it was okay with her so it cost me 1000 baht total that night to bang her. But I started to think this girl really liked me so I went in several more times and the last two times or so the bar would charge me ahead of time for the girl's price plus my bar tab plus the cost of the room. At first I got a charge of 1200 baht or 40 dollars. I paid it and didn't think much of it. But later on got a bill of 1500 baht. This last time I started to figure....let's see....100 baht for my drink and 100 baht for hers plus 300 baht for the room which leaves 1000 baht. That meant I was paying her not 700 baht but 1000 baht.I will never go there again even though I liked the girl. So whatever you do make your deal with the girl and keep the bar out of it and the mamasan as well.   Jack -- So do you really like the Soi Six girls the best?   Uncle Bufford -- They are the real thoroughbreds here when it comes to women. Consider that a thoroughbred is a race horse that does one thing really well and that is it wins races. This is what they are bred for and they have very firm muscles and are very fast. Soi Six girls are the best when it comes to sex. They do it all the time, often taking one customer after the other if they are in demand. Furthermore, a lot of expats who live in Pattaya full time go to Soi Six. Expats do not enjoy Walking Street because they know better. Soi Six girls know this and they are looking for repeat business. And that repeat business continues and continues so the good ones on Soi Six will do everything they can to impress the expats. They usually do oral sex very well and when they get a guy in a booth or couch or even while just sitting at the bar with them they will be feeling the guys cock and running their hands up his legs and feeling his member. And not only do they want the repeat business from treating men the way men want to be treated, they want to get him upstairs as soon as possible and that means getting him so excited that he can hardly say no.   Jack -- So do you think that the Soi Six girls have better bodies than Thai women working the go go bars, beer bars, etc?   Uncle Bufford --I wouldn't go so far as to say that. Although a lot of beer bar girls seem to be getting more unattractive than they were a few years ago. This is because the entire world is getting fatter and fatter by adopting Western diets. indulging in fast foods, etc. But remember that all women have a shelf life and most simply do not take care of themselves very well. But the Soi Six bars keep changing with new girls coming in all the time and girls leaving. The nature of Soi Six is strictly short time. One goes there and even if he is looking for a specific girl if he does not find her, he will easily find another one. In the long run a man is always looking for the sexiest women, always out for new meat so to day and he is not as apt to be stuck with women whose physical appeal is changing with advancing age.   Jack -- Do you mean to say that the Soi Six girls are not fat and ugly?   Uncle Bufford -- No. There's a lot of fat and ugly Soi Six girls too. The only thing is you will almost always have a couple hundred girls on display on Soi Six and you can be very choosy. It's like going to the supermarket. If you are looking for German salami for example, you can find it right away. So if you are looking for a slender attractive girl you can go down the street and if you don't find one in five minutes you can go somewhere else and do something else. I think my analogy to German sausage is very appropriate. You are looking for the best grade of meat and that's all you are looking for.Also...in my opinion the Soi Six is filled with ugly girls in the afternoon but the best looking ones normally start working after five in the afternoon or so.   Jack -- One of my friends doesn't like the night time Soi Six girls because he feels that by night fall most of them have already had sex with several men, that they are dirty and scummy and he doesn't want to have anything to do with them after they've been with other men.Uncle Bufford -- Well, he's pretty foolish if you ask me. You mean to say that he doesn't think most Soi Six girls use condoms? Most of them insist on a man using a condom and when a man ejaculates into a condom all his semen is confined within the condom. And nearly all Soi Six girls insist that the man showers both before and after having sex. And she does too so even if some of a man's semen dripped onto her, she's going to clean it off in the shower afterwards. As for myself, I always take a shower with the Soi Six girl before I have sex with her and I just grab that bar of soap and spread it all over my hand, Then I kneel at her feet and completely wash her out. When I get done with her she's super clean.Jack -- Do you ever bar fine Soi Six girls?   Uncle Bufford -- There's no reason not to. In fact I think a lot of Soi Six girls get so bored from taking customers one after the other into the same short time rooms upstairs that they welcome the opportunity to get outside their bars and to be inside a nice condo they have never gone into before.   Jack -- Do you find there is much difference in the way the Soi Six girls operate and the way beer bar girls go about their business compared to go go bar girls?   Uncle Bufford -- Yes. Absolutely. On the average go go dancers will move from customer to customer as fast as they can and get them to buy them drinks. And then if the customer does bar fine one of them the girl will typically cheat him. Suppose she agrees to go long time with him. That means all night. Not until 2 or 3 a.m. but alnight. I can't begin to count the times go go girls went home early after making some bullshit excuse about not feeling well or whatever. But they usually won't even go home early. Instead they will go to one of the Walking Street discos, meet a guy there, and have him spend the night with her for another 1000 baht or even more. This is after you have paid her 2000 baht or 3000 baht for long time. But the worse thing is when you pay her all that money and she goes out to a Thai kareoke bar where there's a lot of good looking Thai guys waiting for girls just like her. She's got your hard earned money and so she pays this young Thai guy to have sex with her on your dime.Jack --I've heard that a lot of that goes on.Uncle Bufford --You are damned right it does. However, when you are dealing with beer bar girls their modus operandi is usually very different. Their goal is to get you to have them spend the entire night with you and then they will try to get you to get them to spend the second night with you, the third and so forth. Ultimately if you are a tourist they want to have you bar fine them for the entire length of your stay. For one week. Two weeks or whatever and if you are an expat living here full time they hope that you will get them out of the bar and move them in with you.   Jack --Is that good or bad?   Uncle Bufford -- In the long run it's bad. That's because very few men realize what is actually going on here. All men, especially Western men, should realize that these girls are not interested in you whatsoever. They don't want to learn about America or Germany or how they do things in England. For them only Thailand and all things Thai are important. What it comes down to is they are working all the time, even if one of them marries you and by working I do mean to say that their number one mission is to separate you from as much cash as possible. Then when you no longer have any money you will see what all their professions of love amount to.   Jack -- So you don't think it is wise to have a Thai girlfriend?   Uncle Bufford --Why should you? Here you live in a land where the best looking women in the world await you. So why not sample as many of them as you can? In the long run there will be absolutely no loyalty in any of them for you. But you already know that about the Soi Six girls. They are professionals and they want your money. You know that going in. They are working all the time for that. But with the others you keep deluding yourself into thinking they really want you and your money really isn't number one with them, Believe me, it is so you might as well go for the race horse, the girl who has a great body who really knows how to use it, the girl who can smoke the marrow right out of your bones. You pay her for that and that only with no delusions of having a great relationship or of falling in love. Love must be that deep dark tunnel of a woman's sexual anatomy being put to the best possible use.   Jack -- So your advice is to go for the Soi Six girls? And that the last thing you want to do is to go to the Walking Street go go's?   Uncle Bufford --Walking Street go go bars are only for tourists who don't know any better and if you keep going to them you are no better than a tourist which is one step above a baboon in the evolutionary ladder. As for Soi Six, it is the promised land. It is where all true men deserve to go.   Jack --I guess we have about covered everything for now then,   Uncle Bufford. I want to thank you for your time, and hopefully we can have you get with us later for another interview.   Uncle Bufford -- Thank you Jack. Let me know when you get the next issue of the Looking Glass published so I can see how you have handled this interview.