Dick Fitswell Goes to Church

by Jack Corbett

Dick Fitswell picks a church out after studying hundreds of prospective churches for the best opportunity for meeting women

"This is it. A perfect place for me, the world’s perfect fuck," Dick Fitswell nearly shouted aloud. Been here for one month now and who would believe it, that I’d finally find myself here in church." In the front row sat the ministers wife, a long legged blonde the shy side of thirty. "Do credit to any strip bar," Fitswell thought to himself. "I’ll bet she’s one tight babe. "Swear to God I’ll make her squirm before I leave these Protestants."

Since his first meeting with "God" Dick Fitswell was very thorough in choosing just the right Church for a man of his position. For the past five years he had been a marketing executive for America Online, which many of his colleagues in the computer profession had denigrated by calling it "Assholes Online, Always Offline, and other descriptive epithets so he always tried harder than his counterparts by being more thorough and careful in his chosen career to make up for the low esteem which he suffered from by working for AOL in the first place. He had analyzed over twenty-five congregations by going to a different church twice each Sunday. Whether the Church was Methodist, Episcopalian, Lutheran, or the Church of England for that matter had little part of his analysis. What counted was which denomination had the most babes of all ages, excepting the elderly. He had finally settled on a lively Church which called itself, "Brotherly and Sisterly Love for Everyone". He had never heard of it before but its Congregation numbered over three thousand and it had two services each Sunday not counting Wednesday and Thursday evening services for the night owls.------to be continued in the book which you can buy in paperback or two e reader formats from Amazon and lulu.com