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Climax rapidly approaching
Studmuffin III which promises a new sex symbol to the world will be held during the second week of January to kick off the New Year. It is Canada versus the U.S. And there is no question who will win this one. The U.S. always wins. After all just as the U.S. is the most powerful country on earth Howard, as you can see above, always manages to get the best and the prettiest women.
The Studmuffin Times predicts a landslide victory for Howard, club manager at Dollies over in East St. Louis. Why are we so confident? Because we control the press and the Canadians don't.
Here's the way it works. Only women can vote for the Studmuffin of their choice and they have to do it online. Let's face the facts, the Internet is the big apple and represents the greatest communications revolution in perhaps the whole history of mankind. We don't want anyone voting who can't do it online. Now this might seem unfair but after all, we've setting the rules and fairness is our manifesto.
It is clear that a great deal of cheating has been already occurring so read the following articles. Since the outcome of this election will no doubt have a great influence on the further development or deterioration (if Canada wins) of the human race it is necessary to have two commissioners, one American and one Canadian to make sure that there is no cheating in this contest. We wouldn't--they would.
Alex replaces Sister Margarita as the new impartial American commissioner. Loyal to neither the Americans nor the Canadians Alex's integrity is unquestioned. She owes nothing to Jack or Howard. Hardly knows either of them. Alex joins Kwinn, the Canadian commissioner, to judge the fairness of the voting for the man who will reach the epitome of sex stardom, Howard or Dawg.
Speaking of Sister Margarita, in the last issue of the Studmuffin Times evidence was brought in showing that had jumped ship and was working for Dawg and his nefarious Canadian colleagues.
The Studmuffin Times is horrified to report the
real truth, a heinous Canadian plot to falsely malign and threaten the
Dollies topless club nun.
Smuggled onto American soil by top thought police operatives from Plug, the infamous Canadian secret police inspired by the Nazi Gestapo special operatives from Plug, the infamous intelligence service inspired by the Nazi Gestapo Dawg found Sister Margarita at Dollies, waited for her outside the club, then offered her a specially formulated moonshine. Sister Margarita passed out Dawg took her to his suite where she recovered hours later.
In this revealing photograph the stark terror can be seen in Sister Margarita's eyes only moments before Dawg began a systematic regimen of terror leading her to sign and send incriminating e-mails that made everyone, even us, believe she had turn coated to the Canadian Studmuffin team.
In a rare moment of truth Corbett questions the
Dirty Dawg about his plans to up seat Howard as World Champion Studmuffin
and what this means to the United States and Canada. Just click on the
heading above to get this exclusive ground breaking interview.
He's the man we all want to talk to for we have
much to learn from him. Find out about Howard's plans to revolutionize
the way Americans will be viewing sports events on their tv screens but
only if he gets your vote--listening up ladies? In the tradition established
by Franklin Delano Roosevelt with the fireside chats delivered through
radio that riveted a whole nation during World War II, Howard will put
all our fans here at ease as he explains his plans for the future.
Canada-The Menace from the North In an unprecedented plea to his fellow Americans super patriot Cecil Manning calls out for a new cold war against Canada. Why asks Manning? Because the Soviet Union no longer poses a threat and enemies must be established wherever they can be found.
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