It’s Christmas day and I’m out on the town. I should know better. The Christmas holidays are when bar fines climb to insane levels. This is when greedy Pattaya go go bar owners really stick it to their customers. I told Billy Bob: “There’s no way I’m bar fining anyone tonight.” Then I ran into one of the sexiest go go dancers I’ve bar fined in a long time.

“Your bar fine still 800 baht?” I asked her.

“Now 1000 baht, “she replied.

“That’s a nice Christmas present from your big boss to his customers. Lek, I give you 1000 baht for short time.”

“Okay.”

Which was a great move on my part. And Lek was smart enough to go along with me.  I has been paying her 1500 baht for short time. Not real often though, because I gots me a couple of exceptional performers over on Soi Six for 1000 baht and it’s just 300 baht for the room with no bar fine. Sometimes I lay around the room for a couple of hours with one of the girls and I only have to pay the 300 baht room price once. And this girl is completely dedicated to making her Uncle Bufford come, no matter how long it takes. And she’s better looking than most go go girls. So is the other Soi Six girl.

So why in the world would I ever want to come down to Walking Street where the only customers are ignorant tourists who don’t know better?

Billy Bob’s not too keen on Soi Six for one thing. And it’s the challenge. I always tells my friends, “I can get some of these go go girls to bang me for 1000 baht.” But they don’t believe me. That’s because they iz idiots.

So I fucked Lek for 1000 baht. On Christmas night no less. The rest of you reading this can’t. But that’s only because you ain’t Uncle Bufford. I got the wisdom while the rest of you are only followers who can’t think for yourselves.

Only thing is all that tequila Lek and I keep drinking together at the CH go go bar is mighty high. She gets 50 baht for every lady’s drink I buy her, and I gots to pay 150 baht for all my beers. I can get the same beers at Soi Six for 90 baht, except for that go go bar that wants 120 baht. But I still go theres sometimes. That’s because there’s no pressure on me at the Soi Six go go bar. It’s so damn expensive to bang a girl upstairs that no way am I paying them stupid ass prices. So I just drink two or three drinks and move on to all them 1000 baht Soi Six girls.

I take Lek to the short time rooms across the street from CH. They have raised their prices to over 375 baht, and it’s either the girl or the Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners who gets the difference between the real 290 baht price this short time place charges customers who bring girls in from bars outside of Walking Street. I’m betting on the greedy Pattaya go go bar owners who rakes in this extra cash though.  Anyways, when you take a go go girl into this short time establishment, she fills out a little ticket. I thinks the short time place kicks back around 75 baht to the go go bar for each ticket.

Another thing. When I take Lek to the short time room, it’s like she’s got a time limit of half an hour or so because she’s always in a hurry to get me to come so she can get me back to her bar.  I’m sure in my heart that mamasan is making her cut my time short with her.   That Christmas night when I banged Lek for 1000 baht, Lek made me promise not to tell anyone that I’m doing her for 1000 baht.

At first I thought it was cause she was feeling she was losing face with the other girls. I mean how does it appear to all them go go bar girls who sit around eatin all that Pok Pok together all braggin about how much money they all iz makin and how much each customer gives them. Yeah right.

Here’s Lek telling all the other girls, “I’m doing Uncle Bufford for 1000 baht, and another girl is saying, “I only fuck Japanese men,because they pay me 3000 baht short time”.  That makes Lek feel real bad because she knows all the other girls are thinking, “Lek’s a cheapass 1000 baht whore while me and the other girls are 3000 baht high class prostitutes.” Fact of the matter Billy Bob thinks many of them will only go with Japanese men on account of the high prices dem Japanese keep paying.

So I promise Lek not to tell anyone in her bar that she’s now lowering her price to 1000 baht from the 1500 I have been paying her.

“Now keep that in mind all you Japanese men who are reading this. You guys pay 2000 baht or even more for the same girls I pay only half price for. Let’s face the facts, guys, I loves you Japanese but you sure are a bunch of piss poor money managers compared to me.”

The next time I come into CH Lek’s not there. But Mamasan who knows that I usually cannot control my dick, instructs another girl to pounce on me.  The girl’s one of the prettiest girls at CH, but she don’t have quite the body Lek’s got.  In no time she’s got her hands in my pants rubbin my dick and my balls. After a drink or two she says to me: “Short time me now. I want you now.”

“How about next week?” I reply.

“No good for me. Next week Lek’s going to be here and you will want Lek, not me.”

In spite of her rubbin my dick and my balls for a good hour and even gettin another girl to help her, I leave CH without bar fining her.

Banging Amy in the G Spot

A few days later, Billy Bob and I head to the G Spot on Walking Street. A girl spots me who I’ve not seen in over a year. She used to work at the Dolls A Go Go on Soi Six. Back then the short time room upstairs cost 500 baht, so I told her, “all the short time rooms here on Soi Six are 300 baht. Tell you what. You want 1000 baht short time.  I give you 800 since room is so much more.”  She agreed. So even though I was now on Walking Street, I knew she’d do me for 1000 baht.

But Mamasan told me I’d have to give her 2000 baht for short time.

“Mamasan.  Amy and I are old friends. I know her for 5 years.  Up to me.  Up to Amy what I give her.”

To this mamasan agreed.  And Amy backed me.  But there was just one short time room upstairs and they had to get it ready so there was a 15 minute wait.

Uncle Bufford goes for 3 go go girls in a row for 1000 baht.

So that’s two out of two girls who will boom boom me for 1000 baht. Which is fair enough.  Except the Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners are charging too much for their rooms and bar fines. So thinking mighty highly of myself I went back to CH.  Again, no Lek, but her “friend” was there and once again I was in the “friend’s” sights.

After the first tequila we had together I told her I would short time her for 1000 baht.  She didn’t say much, focusing upon her tequila instead of my proposition.

“I only pay ladies 1000 baht tip,” I said to her.

One tequila later she asks me, “What do you pay Lek?”

“I not tell you. That is up to Lek and me. Not you and not mamasan.”

After two or three tequilas she’s still with me.  Can I blame her when she’s getting 50 baht for each ladies drink?  I finally tell her. 1000 baht I pay you for short time or I leave now with Billy Bob.”

Again she asks, “What do you give Lek?”

And once again, I tell her, “That is up to Lek and me.”

She winds up refusing the 1000 baht and I check bin, anxious to leave A.S.A.P. thinking to myself, “Stupid girl.  That’s the last time I ever buy her a drink.”

*****

One week later

Lek launches herself on me just 10 seconds after I walk in the door. But I’ve been banging two girls down on Soi Six, and I’ve concluded, “It just doesn’t get any better than that.”

Billy Bob’s sitting on my immediate right while Lek is on my lap already stroking my dick.  It’s been awhile since I’ve been with Lek, but I remember just how succulently fine her breasts are.  I duck down and insert one of them in my mouth and start sucking away like a baby.

I tell Lek how “her friend” tried to get me to do a short time with her and how she refused the thousand baht offer I had given her.

“Mamasan be very angry with me if you tell her you boom boom me for 1000 baht,” Lek tells me.

(Are the mamasans getting a commission on go go dancer tips?  I’ve been here too long to dismiss this possibility)

“Not to worry, Lek.  I tell no one.  Not mamasan or girls here in Bar.”

“Who is girl who want you to boom boom you?”

The girl is dancing on the stage a few feet away from us.  So I point her out.  Then I tell Lek, “If I tell her you are boom booming me for 1000 baht she probably will also.”

“No one is going to boom boom for 1000 baht,” Lek replies.

“Except you, and a girl I took upstairs down at the G Spot last week. But I know her from Soi Six.”

Apparently not hearing me, Lek continued: “No girls will be doing 1000 short times here.”

“Except you.  But that is our little secret, Lek.”

After several drinks, I leave her after promising to short time her the next time I see her.  I had promised Billy Bob that tonight I wouldn’t be selfish and that I wouldn’t bar fine anyone, preferring to hit several go go’s with him instead.

Thinking more about Lek

But I’m rethinking Lek.  I think the two Soi Six girls like me a lot better than Lek does. On the other hand, mamasan is always horning in behind the scenes, no doubt telling her to limit her time with me in the short time room.

This had happened to me before at Mistys go go bar. I’m sure the waitress there really did like me, and again I was equally sure that Mamasan was telling her to hurry back to the bar as soon as we had finished. I know this because the first time the waitress and I had done a short time the waitress had all the time in the world, showing me pictures in the short time room, and talking endlessly about things I had long ago forgotten.  Then she had tried to get me to meet her outside the bar during Songkran but I had refused.

With Lek, who knows? But I could care less one way or the other. What was much more important was how well our body parts fitted together.  And how much I enjoy tasting her breasts.  I just love her trim little body. I also knew that nearly every man coming into her bar was paying 1500 to 2000 baht short time, minimum and that I was something special.  After all, I’m Uncle Bufford and the other guys simply ain’t me.

Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners and the Star A Go Go

After passing on Lek,  I wound up at Star a go go.  I know there’s a short time room upstairs so that’s perfect, but the girl who oftentimes drinks with me and rubs my dick tells me, “It’s closed. The police keep checking all the clubs.”

Which is true. A week ago the police had raided the Windmill and found an Englishman upstairs in the short time room with a girl. The guy wound up with his picture plastered all over the internet and the newspapers.  If he had a wife in England or a Thai steady girlfriend, this in my eyes was an unforgivable act. Meanwhile one of my two favorites on Soi Six had text messaged me that I could no longer boom boom her in the room upstairs in her bar.  Only on the outside, could we have sex, she had texted.

So I asked the Star a Go Go girl, “When your bar’s short time room is open, how much must I pay to boom you n this bar?”

“2000 baht for me. 1500 baht for the room,” the girl replied.

I decided right then not to ever come back to Star a Go Go. 3500 baht is a hundred American dollars, which is ridiculous for any Pattaya bar girl.  So I told her, “Well, maybe I get room somewhere and you can meet me on the outside and we never pay any Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners anything.

To which she agreed. I know I can get her for a thousand baht so long as I book her outside the bar But she reminds me a lot of one of my two favorite Soi Six girls.  But she’s getting a bit paunchy on account of all the alcohol she’s probably drinking as a bar girl.  The Soi Six girl has by far the better body.

Three nights ago in the Walking Street Go Go Bars

A few days later, four of us converge on Walking Street. Our first stop is at the Light House. The guys want to go there for the Eye Candy.  But no one in our group’s ever bar fined anyone there yet.  I go there for the “cheap happy hour prices”. Tonight two gin and tonics cost me 150 baht.  As usual, I’m bored here.  No one’s rubbing my balls yet.  But as long as I have two full drinks in front of me, I’m relatively happy.

Then it’s onto CH. I’m hoping Lek is going to show, but she’s nowhere in sight.  But the happy hour two for one drink prices are still on, so it’s another two gin and tonics.  I walk around the place looking for Lek.  The place is crowded and there’s nowhere to sit for four guys. Billy Bob and I sit in front of the hot tub where two girls are cavorting totally nude.  One of them keeps looking straight into my eyes.  Then I recognize her.   I fucked her. Not just once but several times, but gave up on her due to her becoming too chunky for my tastes.  There’s no improvement, however.

The waitresses finally are able to find seating for all four of us.  Billy Bob and I find spots at a small table across the room from the hot tub while BD (Big Dog) is being seated to our left at another small table next to me.  But Gerald has to sit clear across the room from us where he’s immediately set upon by one of the bar’s go go girls. After a few minutes the hot tub girl joins me. I buy her a drink as she seats herself in my lap and starts stroking my dick.

I quickly sms Lek on my cell phone: “I am here for you at your bar.” Other than getting my dick massaged and relaxing with my gin and tonics, I don’t want much to do with the gal on my lap. There’s no sign of Lek.  I had messaged her just in case she was somewhere in the go go bar and would make her appearance later. I didn’t want her to think I wanted the girl on my lap more than I wanted her.

“Lek, of course, really doesn’t give a shit about me.”  Well, maybe she would if I really went after her.  After all the prospect of enough money every month, and being able to quit dancing at the go go bar just might entice her to show a little affection (for my money) and some loyalty (again for my money, instead of someone else’s).

One of my neighbors had just moved a 19 year old go go girl in with him from Misty’s go go bar. He’s 65 so the age difference of 46 years is just about right. The 19 year old’s had one kid for 5 years now, so she must have gotten pregnant when she was 14.  Maybe she’s got 2 children.  I have no idea what he’s paying her each month, but I’ll be finding out, so yeah, if I want to have Lek, I can have Lek.  But I don’t want to have any of them.  I don’t need the baggage.  The bottom line is this.  Any woman limits a man’s freedom, and all women deteriorate physically.  I want to have any woman I want, and I want her in her prime.

Plus, I’m the kind of guy who really knows himself.  I know that the grass is always greener on the other side.  So it really does not matter what the girl I’m with is like.  There’s always something better, so I want no limitations on either my time or wallet.

Still–I wanta bang Lek in the worse way.

Our group moves on to Electric Blue. Billy Bob likes the place because the draft beers are just 45 baht here. The bar is very dark inside, which means he can grope a girl without hardly being seen since both his groping hand and her privates are both in the shadows.  I see nothing attractive here at all, and the place is chock full of cheap charlies all cashing in on those 45 baht beers.

Big Dog’s found someone to buy drinks for.  But Gerald’s all pissed off.  We don’t know why except he’s already leaving the bar to go home.  Or that’s what he’s telling us.  He’s probably going to meet other friends at another bar, or maybe he’s got a girl lined up to meet him back at his hotel.  But Big Dog’s not about to leave.  The girl who’s with him is kindof ugly, but that’s the kind of girls he likes. That’s why we calls him Big Dog because he will fuck anything.

Billy Bob and I head to the G-spot. The girl I had banged in the go go’s short time room upstairs is here. Amy’s got her hair dyed blonde, and she’s pretty drunk. I don’t realize just how bad off she is until I get her in the short time room later on.  Anyways, I bar fine her. Amy tells me that the club has closed the short time room upstairs on account of the police so I have to take her outside the bar to the short time place I usually use across from CH.

I want to walk ahead of Amy on account of my not wanting to be seen taking any girl to any short time room.  After all, I’ve got my appearances to keep up.  But Amy keeps hanging all over me as we walk down Walking Street.  Even worse, she keeps trying to take my arm or hold my hand.

But the G spot is controlled by one of those Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners who keeps raising his prices.  A few weeks ago Amy’s bar fine was 800 baht. Now it’s 900 baht.   I’m giving her only 1000 baht, however, same as I’m now giving Lek.

What I didn’t count on was Amy being an absolute goof ball.  When we take off our clothes in the short time room, I suddenly realize that she’s drunk too much and now she’s getting sick on me.  Several times she gets up from the bed to go to the toilet to throw up or to retch.  So I ask her how much she’s had to drink.   Amy admits to having just three drinks in the bar.   She also admits to drinking before coming to work.  So it’s not me. I know that Amy has always liked me.

A more likely reason is that Amy hates having to work in a go go bar. And that she hates having customers constantly groping her and her having to keep rubbing the dicks of all those customers she secretly despises.  And I have to say, “I don’t blame her.” So she probably got half way blitzed out of her mind before she even showed up at work.

It’s kind of like farmers hauling corn out of their grain bins and trucking it to the elevator.  Sometimes moisture accumulates in the corn and some of it spoils so bad that there’s no difference between it and shit.  So the farmer has to shovel all that spoiled corn out of his bins meanin he’s literally havin to shovel shit to keep makin his livin.

That’s the way I look at a lot of these bar girls.  They gotsa boom boom guys who are stupid, rotten, selfish bastards.  Most of them are fat hogs who never managed to get one woman in their home countries to ever be nice to them.   Most men who live in Pattaya are this way.  Yep….these bar girls have to keep shoveling shit into their pussies to make a livin and I can’t blame them for gettin sick now and then.

Next time I come in Walking Street, I’m going to be in Lek.  I’ve still got those friends of mine in town, and there’s no way that four guys can fully enjoy themselves on Soi Six.  That’s on account of the bars being too small to have more than one or two good-looking girls. There it’s good to hunt alone. So it looks like once again I’m going to have to put up with these Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners.