How does the Go Go Bar Bangkok Soi Cowboy action compare to Pattaya Walking Street for girl quality, price, and overall ambiance.  I’d like to say, I had to find out.  I’d love to tell all you guys that Uncle Bufford is alive and doing well as he tries his damnest to bring you all that Soi Cowboy go go action up close and personal so you can experience all those luscious Thai babes vicariously.  But I can’t.  Going to Soi Cowboy was purely an afterthought.  My primary mission to Bangkok was to go to Little Japan to meet a very good Japanese friend of mine.  So Soi Cowboy go go action was purely coincidental to my main mission which was to be a true friend to a man I’d known for over forty years.

If it had been up to me, I probably would never have gone to Bangkok in the first place.  Until I got that email telling me, “I need to come to Bangkok on business. Can you meet me? I’ll even pay for your hotel room.”.  I jumped at the chance to meet up with my old pal from Nippon.  But there was no way I’d allow him to pay for my hotel room.  But I did allow him to book my hotel room.

As my taxi driver started to get close to the hotel I started to notice that there were a lot of Japanese restaurants in the area.  When I went up to the room, I noticed that nearly all the hotel guests were Japanese.  I’d later be informed by one of the hotel’s employees that over 80 percent of its customers were Japanese.

I was starting to love the place already.  As for my friend, he was far from the hotel over three hours away on his business appointment and I’d not see him until the next day.  So here I had a lot of time on my hands. My first priority was food.  My second priority was to find all that Soi Cowboy Action that I had been told was likely to be walking distance from my hotel.  But I’m Uncle Bufford, and action’s a lot more important to me than food, so long as I have just enough food to get by.

So how do I get to Soi Cowboy?  Do I take a taxi or should I try the Sky Train?  But taxis, except for when they are absolutely necessary, are for wimps.

Although the Sky Train is nearby I wasn’t really used to using it.  And if I took it, I wouldn’t get to see much on the way to Soi Cowboy.  It would take me nearly half an hour to walk to Soi Cowboy.  I’d wind up walking back to my hotel hoping to get together with my friend.

And when that didn’t work out I walked back to Soi Cowboy looking for wimmen and beer, and then back again to my hotel at 3 a.m.  I must have walked two hours, which is something most of you readers wouldn’t even attempt.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.  So I’m going to take my Bangkok adventure one step at a time.

Four Wing Hotel is  located down Soi 26 from Sukamvit.  I will call this area from Sukamvit to the hotel along Soi 26 as Little Japan.   About three blocks from the hotel are a couple of streets where I found a number of Japanese restaurants. I’ll go there one day because I like Japanese food, but tonight I had business to take care of.

I passed the Japanese restaurants up looking for a Family Mart or Seven Eleven.  It’s like being in the military.   I’d eat on the run, and I wouldn’t eat a lot because too much food would slow me up. About one block before  Sukamit I noticed a street that ran at an angle to my left.  I saw a few massage parlors on this little street. It was time   to check the situation out.

I soon came to Sukamvit.  I decided to take a left and started walking in the direction the hotel bellhop told me to go. But the go go bars were a lot further than I had thought.   I had to stop once or twice to get directions.   My last stop was at a massage parlor that was attended by a single woman who was in her late thirties or early forties.

I was tempted to give her a whirl but passed after getting directions from the woman.   On the way I stopped at a Seven Eleven where I bought a tuna fish salad sandwich and a Snickers chocolate bar.  That was my dinner and I ate both on the last leg of my walk.   After crossing to the other side of Sukamvit I found the street the massage lady told me to look for and found Soi Cowboy a couple of blocks down Sukamvit.

But it was about six p.m. so the go go bars hadn’t gotten a good start yet.  But I spotted a few beer bars intermixed among the go go’s. Several  bar girls tried to get me to join them for a drink.

But I know myself too well. Realizing that once I started on the bar scene here,  I wouldn’t feel like leaving it for at least six hours.  Which meant there would be no hope of connecting with my Japanese friend once he got back to the hotel from his business appointment . I was figuring he’d be getting back to the hotel around eight. So I headed back toward the hotel.

Taking a taxi would have done me no good.   At five p.m. the traffic was godawful on Sukamvit.  Here it was past six and it was still terrible.

I noticed that there had been a lot of Japanese men on Soi Cowboy.   With the exception of Thais it seemed to me that nearly everyone in this entire area was Japanese which suited me just fine. I almost felt like I was back in Tokyo.

So if you are Japanese and you are reading this episode, by now you know that I’m a lot more pro-Japan than against, and that I really have a keen appreciation of Japanese people in general.  I just don’t like the fact that Japanese men are paying far too much money for Thai go go girls, and this is makes the go go bars very unappealing for any man who does not want to be taken advantage of.

Eventually I arrived back on that little diagonal street where I had seen all those massage parlors.  I spotted two places that were across the Soi from each other and decided to give one of them a try.  Several girls asked me if I want a massage so I walked over to them and asked them what they were charging for a Thai massage.

One of them replied, “400 baht.”

“You must be kidding me,”  I responded.  “I live in Pattaya and in Pattaya it’s just 200 baht for a Thai massage.”

“But here, not same.”

I went over to the massage parlor across the soi. Several of the girls  immediately ushered me inside.  One of them  invited me to sit down.  Then she asked me what I wanted to drink.

I ordered a beer, and then the manager came over to me.  She handed me a price list of what kind of massages were being offered and at what prices.  Then she directed every girl  in the place to come over to where I was sitting.

There were six or eight girls.  Two or three of them were pretty good looking.  And by what I mean “good looking”  is far more attractive than what you are going to find at most massage parlours in Pattaya which are now filled for the most part by old hags.  This whole scene reminded me of those ranches or bordellos out in the Nevada desert where all the prostitutes parade in front of the prospective Johns, thus giving them a choice from all the girls who are available.

Then they brought a Japanese man  over to the seat next to me and gave him  a menu to choose from.  I noticed that the menu specified two time periods–-45 minutes and 1 hour. I told the mamasan I was really Thai and that I wanted the Thai price.

“You will get everything in this massage.  Everything.”

Then she pointed at the column for the 1 hour massages.  I think the price was 1800 baht, but the column listing the 45 minute massages showed a price of 1600 baht.  The mamasan indicated that I’d be getting a full hour with the girl of my choice for the 45 minute price.   Then she put her finger to her lips to indicate that I should keep my mouth shut and

not tell the Japanese next to me that I was getting a lower price than he’d be getting.

It was difficult choosing between two girls in particular. So I chose one, paid the mamasan 1600 baht and followed the girl to a short time room. In the shower as we started to wash each other’s bodies I noticed that the girl had very large breasts.

So I asked her: “Silicon?”

“Ka.”

“Falang buy for you?”

“I buy for myself.”

They were the largest breasts I had seen in months. Normally I prefer girls with small tits or even no tits.

Best of all, the sex here is cheaper than it is in the Pattaya Go Go bars where the mamasans are ruining the go go action.

After all, for me, it’s what’s in the box that counts.

But here I was face to face with the largest tits I ever remember feeling on a Thai woman before.

The massage was good. Massages are always good. And then it was time for us to do our business. Had I wanted to, I really think that the girl would have kept me in that room for much longer than one hour. But I was wanting to get back to my hotel to see if my friend had returned.

But one I got back to my room I found out that I had just missed him. A message was waiting for me that read, “I go out with someone from India.” Now that I just couldn’t fathom. Perhaps my friend had a mia noi who happened to be from India.  Perhaps this was another business contact of his.  Or just someone he had met at the hotel and the two of them had decided to go to a restaurant.  But oh well. I was going to go back to Soi Cowboy.

By the time I had walked back, the Soi Cowboy go go action had picked up considerably.

My first stop was the Lighthouse, mainly because Pattaya Walking Street also had a lighthouse go go bar and that’s were we often will have a couple two for one happy hour drinks. Here at the Soi Cowboy Lighthouse, my beer runs me 160 baht. I am immediately accosted by a decent looking girl so I buy her a Tequila. But no sooner than she gulps it down, does she tell me, “I have to go up to the stage and dance.”

“Well…so much for that. Obviously this place is every bit as bad as the Lighthouse on Walking Street where the sole object of the game is to fleece all the male patrons of as much money as possible while giving back the absolute minimum in return. I can’t wait to get out of this clip joint, gulp my beer down and pay my bin without even giving the girl a glance.

My next stop’s on Soi Cowboy is the Dundee Bar. This is a pretty boring place or at least it is tonight. I sit down, order a beer, and a girl comes up to ask me to buy her a drink. I send her away cause she’s just not meeting my standards.

But later I am joined by another girl so

I ask her what it’s going to cost me for short time sex.

I think she tried to tell me the bar fine was 3000 baht. But I’m not really sure. So I tell her about Soi Six in Pattaya and how I get the room, the girl and bar fine all in one for 1300 baht.  But she’s not having any of that and leaves  me alone with my beer.   Which suits me just fine.

But I don’t get very far.  A pretty girl is standing outside the Toy Bar, Looks like me a beer bar.  The pretty girl explains that it’s just 110 baht for a bottle. Such a low price persuades me to have at least one beer in the place.

What she doesn’t tell me is that her lady’s drink is going to cost me 200 baht

so when you add the two prices together it comes to 310 baht.  This  is about the same as you will paying in most go go bars where it’s usually around 150 or 160 for the beer and another 150 or 160 for the lady’s drink.

Anyways, this girl is really something. She’s got a body to die for. I think I’d come even before I achieved full entry. But never mind, I’m Uncle Bufford.   I’m on a mission and that’s to cover as many go go bars  I can.

The girl and I sit down at a small table next to a small stage. Another girl is dancing right next to us and she’s nearly as beautiful as the girl sitting next to me. My girl speaks excellent English so I ask her a lot of questions about short times,  long times, how much the bar fines are and so on.

Then she tells me, “I’m coyote.”

I explain to  her how the Coyote girl routine works out in Pattaya Walking Street where the girls must sell their quota of fifty lady’s drinks every ten days.

Then she  tells me about all the minimums she must pass, but it’s nothing at all like it is on Walking Street. There’s something I’m missing.

But the bottom line is this…..she tells me it’s going to cost a man 5000 baht to fuck her.

I think she told me her bar fine is 3000 baht, but I’m not sure of that either. This would mean she would be getting 2000 baht for the short time.

Eventually she politely excuses herself by telling me it’s her turn to dance, and then she starts taking her turn on the small stage. Eventually I check bin and tell her goodbye. Her facial expressions tell me she’s surprised that I”m leaving so early and that I’m not waiting for her to come down off the stage.

She’s been up there at least 20 minutes and I’m bored shitless. But damn, she’s quite the looker and she seems pretty bright.  She’s a good conversationalist to boot.   I almost cave in to stay with her until I decide to head back to my hotel.

I’ve got at least one more review to do.

On the way into Soi Cowboy I noticed Cowboys II

which seems to be a larger go go than most.  I decide to give it a go.

In no time I have a very cute girl sitting next to me. I buy us both a drink, then I ask her what her bar fine is. She tells me it’s 800 baht. Then she tells me that she doesn’t want to go with anyone that night.

Perhaps she’s on her period?

Anyway, who cares. I’ve already had enough sex with the massage girl. And I”m having an 8 a.m. breakfast with my Japanese friend in the morning. The last thing I need to contend with is a girl in my hotel room. With my luck she might be difficult to arouse early in the morning. And who knows, I might like her so much that she will wind up having sex with me until 5 a.m.

So I go back to my hotel alone.  But before signing off on this review of the Bangkok Soi Cowboy go go action, there are a few things I want to mention.

First is, in general the music in the Soi Cowboy Bars is much better

than one finds down on in the Pattaya Walking Street go go bars, which plays a godawful amount of pure noise that I call Da Da Music.

Second….the last time I went to Soi Cowboy drinks were substantially more expensive than they are in the Pattaya Walking Street go go’s.

Now drink prices are about the same as Pattaya’s.

160 baht a beer on Soi Cowboy pretty much nails it and sometimes they are a little less. On Walking Street they are now running between 140 and 170 baht.

It also seems to me that

there are a lot more brain dead go go dancers down on Pattaya Walking Street

than there are on Soi Cowboy. I can’t remember even once that where the girls left me alone at a single Soi Cowboy go go bar. There was always at least one girl asking me if she could sit with me.

Forty or fifty percent of the time the Pattaya Walking Street girls will allow me and my friends to leave the premises without even attempting to get attention from any one of us.

So, either the go go bars on Soi Cowboy are much better managed than they are on Pattaya Walking Street or the girls are simply not as lazy.   No doubt most of them are simply more intelligent.

The music is so terrible on Walking Street

 that I feel insulted and belittled as a man for lowering myself to  be buying drinks in such places in the first place.  But can I honestly contend that Bangkok Soi Cowboy go go action is superior to what one finds on Pattaya Walking Street?  That’s a difficult choice to make based on the fact that only this once have I ever reviewed the Bangkok Soi Cowboy go go action, and it is unlikely that I will be getting up to Bangkok that often.  Which is truly unfortunate. Because I really want to go back