Last night nerve jarring DA DA music in the Go Go Bars drove me out of Walking Street totally disgusted.

I am disgusted with the go go bar owners who are obviously incredibly stupid.  And disgusted with the go go girls for putting up with such shit. And I am even more disgusted with all the go-go customers for not leaving  as I had just done.

Let me be clear just how bad Da Da music is.  Da Da is the most primitive kind of music ever.  It comprises just two notes, with one being higher or lower pitched than the other.   DA DA music has just two basic sounds, one delivered after the other at varying speeds.

Example….Da followed with a DA! Then Da Da (softer pronunciation of the vowel a) followed with DA (a harsher or harder A sound). The Da’s might begin at a slow rate of speed such as Da–Da——-DA———DA, da–da before getting into a more rapid pronunciation of the Da…..as in da-da-da-da-da. Then DA-DA-DA played in a louder tone.

I used to think that DA DA music had become popular with  younger generations of Americans

and that this was evidence of bad taste at a bestial level. I had been out of touch for so long with my fellow Americans after living in Thailand for the past ten years.

But during my last trip to the United States, I had rented a car for two weeks, and after traveling through Illinois, Missouri, Colorado, Utah, and Arizona, I can’t remember ever having to listen to Da Da even once.

So where had Da Da come from? At least most Americans still had the common sense not to listen to  crap. But it’s doing alive and well in Thailand.   Especially in the Walking Street go go bars which have become so horribly managed that I cannot count a single expat who actually likes the damn place. But I’m Uncle Bufford, and I’ve got some work to do doing these Walking Street go go bar reviews even if the job is about as pleasant as shoveling shit down on the farm.  So let’s get on with it.

My first stop was the Pattaya Light House Go Go Bar

where I got one vodka with lime for 70 baht.  That’s the happy hour price.  The girls on the stage are all looking through the customers without seeing them.  Because they are too busy viewing themselves in the mirror.  Since there wasn’t much happening here, I went to Super Girls.

Pattaya Super Girls Go Go

My Beer’s 140 baht a bottle.  The good news is there’s nearly twice as many girls here as the last time. I’m thinking some coyote girls have moved here because they cannot sell short times for a 1500 baht bar fine.  And they have suddenly wised up  to how difficult it is to sell 50 ladies drinks in a 10 day shift.  But the Da Da music is terrible.  Three songs in a row is loud Da Da and I probably was not not even counting before.  So even though the girls are promising I can only suffer through all that Da Da noise for just 1 beer.  This ambiance is so disgusting that I tell the waitress I’m leaving on account of the horrible music.

Pattaya SugarBaby Go Go Bar

Beer is 150 baht and for this you get a lot of ugly women to choose from.  Two gals are eating each others pussies on stage.   But I think one’s  a lady boy who has been cut and has had a vagina created where she had once had a dick.  She has a loud masculine voice. “She’s”  fat.  All in all she looks like a shorted version of a professional wrestler.  The music is pretty piss poor for the most part.  Not Da Da so it was barely tolerable.   The key word here is barely.

Pattaya Living Dolls Showcase

They charge a whopping 170 baht here.  I suppose it must be for a stunning toilet although the last time I took a dump here (about 10 years ago) the toilet was just okay. There are several good looking girls here,  but this place is still not top class by any means. The gal in front of me on the stage is pretty cute.  But she’s no raving beauty. She keeps watching herself in the mirror which is standard procedure for these nitwits. Eventually she comes off the stage to sit next to a guy who’s sitting in his wheel chair next to me.

 Pattaya Bacchara Go Go Bar

Upstairs the place is loaded with Japanese.  Bacchara reminds me of the scenes in the “The Deerhunter” where Christopher Walken plays Russian Roulette and eventually shoots his brains out in front of Robert De Niro. I was seated at a table for four in the back which was somewhat distant from the stage. Nevertheless there were a number of gals back there. Although the beer is 160 baht a bottle, I could sit at this table unmolested and take in the view of the entire upper floor.

A gal who appears to be in her mid thirties motions me to pick out a girl dancing on the stage But I motion back to her “Do not want.” A few minutes later she comes up to me.   I tell her I like the Soi Six girls who I got to bang for 800 to 1000 baht.  I’m thinking she’s a waitress and for awhile she sits next to me with another girl.

There’s a guy sitting at our table.  The bar’s thrown me in with him because the place is packed with no chairs near the stage. Later the “waitress” takes her turn at the stage.  She has a pretty attractive body now that she’s taken most of her clothes off. By the time I check bin another girl’s  sitting at the table  but I haven’t spoken to her or the customer.

Pattaya Crazy House Go Go Bar

I’m wanting to avoid this place because I don’t want to get laid tonight and I was afraid someone would come up and seduce me.  I knew from experience some of the girls would be hard to refuse. Sure enough,  a very attractive girl is here and within five minutes she’s sitting next to me.

She is wearing dark framed glasses without lenses.  This is normal because most Thai people don’t read much.

So they don’t need glasses.  Unlike the Japanese and Taiwanese who take school seriously and actually respect people who are intelligent.

God I wanted her.  So I buy her a drink.  Thankfully there isn’t any DA DA Music playing at the Crazy House tonight.  Right away we start kissing and then suddenly she  has to go to the toilet.  It isn’t long before she comes back, but this time she sits on my left side. But she’s not wearing her glasses.

Her eyes keep drawing me in.  Then she starts kissing me again as she starts to stroke my dick which responds quickly to her wonderful touch.

A  funny thing happens next.  A second girl, wearing dark framed glasses, squeezes up to me on my immediate right.  Turns out this is the girl I had wanted  before, the girl with the incredible magnetic eyes.  But I now have two girls stroking me between my legs.  I buy shots of tequila for both of them.

After a few minutes the girl on my left escapes to either the stage or the toilet.  Which leaves me alone with the main object of my desires.  I’m about to buy her still another drink.  But she gets up and disappears.  I assume she went to the toilet, but then I see her across the room talking to a couple of other go-go girls sitting at a small table.

She leaves.  Ten minutes later I decide to leave for more fertile pastures.

 After all, I’m Uncle Bufford, and I’m the real star around this place.

I wait for no woman.  So this one’s going to just have to learn at the feet of the master who’s the main dick in this place.  So I check bin.  The waitress comes to collect my money.  Five minutes later I’m walking out of this Crazy House alone.

The girl is looking across the room at me, surprised I’m leaving and not telling her anything.  Her expression is one of incredulity.  She’s probably thinking I’m angry.  But I’m not.  I’ll come back for her later, on another night, but this next time she will have learned her lesson. This girl’s going to be eating out of my hand. She will be my sex slave.  She will be putty in my hands.

Related Articles I have further comments about this godawful DA DA music in my Naklua Bar Reviews