There is nothing like living in the Pattaya Fun House.  I’m calling this place the Pattaya Fun House because I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.

From a small fishing village American Vietnam War soldiers visited for R & R, Pattaya’s grown to be Thailand’s largest metropolitan city outside of Bangkok.  There’s over a million people here.  Perhaps 2 million.  We have sensational shopping malls, restaurants galore of every stripe.  .  Pattaya is simply too much fun.  It’s so much fun that once you visit here you are never want to come back.

What separates the Pattaya Fun House from nearly all other cities on the planet is the huge proliferation of nightclubs, bars, and prostitutes that seems to have infected the entire area.   There’s all the go go bars.  Which are much alike American strip clubs.  Except there’s a lot more touchy feely in them.  And you can buy sex in them from just about any girl you want.

There’s over 100 go go bars in  the Pattaya Fun House

But this is only the tip of the iceberg.  There’s gotta be at least 2000 beer bars where you can buy sex.  And at least 10000 girls working these bars.  Then there’a all the pretty girls you find shopping in the 7-Elevens.  The places you can find available women are endless.  And in my opinion, Thai woman are the most beautiful women in the world.

But the great majority of such women in the Pattaya Fun House are not prostitutes in the Western sense of what prostitutes are all about.  Nevertheless, keep in mind that money is still the number goal for these gals.    Thai go go dancers and beer bar girls are very adept at getting their customers to believe that they actually love them.  The reality is most of them don’t.   While most Westerners who come to Pattaya Fun City searching for female companionship seem to lose their brains in the airport.

This is where the Pattaya Survival Guide bookstore comes in

Most men coming to the Pattaya Fun House are practically defenseless when they come face to face with a wily Pattaya bar girl.  Which is why Thais call such men “buffaloes”.  Your typical Western man who comes to the Pattaya looking for women, knows it all. Chances are he’s an older fella who believes he’s the perfect antidote to a bar girl’s problems.

He’s super falang (this is what Thais call Westerners).  The man can play basketball.  He can dribble the ball behind his back.  He can dunk the ball to perfection.  But of course I’m speaking metaphorically here.  The reality is he’s an older guy who likes to drink beer too much.  He has a fat belly.  But he’s done rather well in his home country and now he wants to spread his wealth around to a deserving bar girl and her family.  And all because he’s such a nice fella.  And certainly his new Thai bar girl girlfriend can see him as the man he truly is.

She’s not like all those Western women he reasons.  So like a sheep heading to its slaughter, he succumbs to all the seduction that awaits him.   Not realizing of course, that most of these temptresses started learning the art of seduction when they were seven years old.

For a  great introduction to Thailand’s  go go dancers check out Stephen Leathers Private Dancer.

This is one of the best books about Thai bar girls and Bangkok go go dancers I’ve ever read.  Stephen Leathers Private Dancer is free via this link to Stephen’s  website.  I urge you to read Private Dancer before getting involved with a Bangkok or Pattaya bar girl.

I

originally got my first copy of Stephen Leathers Private Dancer free of charge as a pdf.  But I must have bought 4 copies in paperback form since then.  I gave at least two copies away to those I felt were in dire need of the lessons to be learned in Private Dancer.   And I kept a copy for myself.    But don’t just buy Private Dancer.  Believe every word of it.

I have included Stephen Leathers Private Dancer in my Alpha Productions Survival Guide Bookstore  which I urge all readers here to visit

At the Alpha Productions Survival Guide Bookstore you will find the best selection of  books about Thai bar girls I have found.  But there are a lot of other books out there.  That pretend to give you the real scoop about the bar girls.  Many are poorly written.  I have found many authors writing such books to be absolutely clueless.  My list is a short one.

You will also find one of my own books at the Alpha Productions Survival Guide bookstore.  I have titled it, Welcome to the Funhouse.

What sets Welcome to the Fun House apart from the rest is I was on the committee running a condominium community of expats while writing it.

In Thailand.  So I got to experience firsthand a lot of the corruption that affects all falang (foreigners) who purchase condos here in Pattaya.

When you are the one who has to hire Thai managers to look after your home and your neighbors condos.  When you are the one who must look after the money of your fellow condo owners.  And you constantly must deal with vendors trying to rip the condo owners off when repairs need to be made.  Or the Pattaya land office.  The police.  And Pattaya City Hall.  And you have to know your fellow condo owners.  Those who pay their bills on time and those who don’t.  You get a unique perspective about life in Pattaya as an expat that no one else has.

But now I am looking forward to writing Welcome to the Fun House II, or Return to the Fun House.  I will be writing it soon.

I just don’t know what to call my sequel to Welcome to the Fun House.  But I’ve been on this committee for over six years now.  And I’ve now been chairman of the Fun House for four years.  Call me big boss of the Fun House.  A lot has happened since I wrote Welcome to the Fun House.

There’s the beautiful Russian woman who mysteriously drowned in the Fun House swimming pool.  Except she didn’t drown.  Then there was the Great Embezzlement where our office girl kept depositing money in her pocket instead of our condo bank account.  There’s a few incidents with the police I had to personally deal with.  And bribery at the land office.  I am about to start “Welcome to the Fun House II.  I have even picked out the perfect cover girl for the new book.  She’s young, she’s mysterious. She has the shape of a model.  And she looks positively elegant in the right dresses.

Jack Corbett