Category Archives: Pattaya Bar Girls

This is your essential guide for dealing with Pattaya Bar Girls

Uncle Bufford says, “Don’t deal with Pimping Pattaya mamasans

Pimping Pattaya mamasans
Take it from me, Uncle Bufford. “Don’t deal with these pimping Pattaya mamasans. The bar girl’s fucking you. The mamasan’s only fucking everyone over.

To protect the awful reputations of the guilty, I’m not naming the two Walking Street go go bars from which these two pimping Pattaya Mamasans crawled out of. One of the managers (a straight shooter from America) told me that it was up to me and the girl on how much I should tip her for sex. I believed him then and I still believe him. This is the rule for all three clubs that are under the same ownership.

But how often do Thais listen to Westerners? I can also tell you from a lot of experience on many levels that most Pattaya Thais were born with larceny in their hearts. Not all, but most. I have a good friend, a female Thai bar owner here in Naklua who will agree with me 100 percent. So let’s stop the philosophizing and get to the facts. This is what happened last night.

I will start with my 2nd stop of the night. That’s cause the action at our first go go bar was so uneventful. Four of us were together at this place.  As I said, “I won’t name it cause I don’t want the pimping Pattaya mamasans to lose face.  My brother, Billie Bob’s got this very shapely babe on his lap.  She’s got a few tattoos.  Although Billie Bob thinks tattoos are ugly, he keeps raving about this babe.

She’s got soft, wondrous skin, he tells me. In spite of the tattoos. Even better she’s got a gorgeous shapely ass. I touch her, on her neck, on her stomach, and then I put my hands around her thighs and wind up placing them on her ass.

“How old are you?” I ask the girl.

“Thirty-one.”

She’s perfect.  After all, most girls in their early to mid twenties are usually not worth a shit.  That’s cause their brains have not developed much.  But a girl who’s close to thirty or over, thinks she’s already getting old.  By this time she’s probably had a few rotten husbands or boyfriends already.  I am sure of myself on this, especially when it comes to Pattaya women. Most men, Thai or falang, aren’t worth a shit.  90 percent of them aint, and you can take this one to the bank.

This girl’s giving me an erection on account of her having an ass to die for.  Which is too bad because Billie Bob’s already decided to fuck her.  That leaves me out.

Manasan doesn’t know it, but Billie Bob’s going to be tipping her 1000 baht for a short time fuck.  But the bar fine’s 900 baht here.  So the bar’s going to be getting 90 percent of what this babe’s getting. Difference is she’s got to fuck his sorry ass.  The bar doesn’t have to put up with this old fart.

Billie Bob’s going to meet all of us at this bar’s sister club.  He’s bar-fining her already.  But while he’s waiting for the girl to come out of the dressing room, the mamasan comes up to him and asks:

“Can you give me 100 baht tip?”

“Jesus penis.  Billie Bob’s already laid out 1000 baht on drinks.  For the gin and tonics he’s just guzzled down and the tequilas he’s gotten the girl.  And this mamasan’s asking him for a 100 baht tip?  He also has to pay a 900 baht bar fine?  That’s a hundred dollars for one lousy fuck when you count the 400 baht for the short time room”

“Why should I give you 100 baht tip?” Billie Bob replies scornfully to the greedy mamasan.  “She’s fucking me, and you aren’t.  What are you doing for me?”

First Night’s Outing at the Sister Club

It gets worse.  One hour later we are all at the sister club (three go go bars have the same owner) where we are about to meet the second greedy mamasan.  But while three of us have been to two more go go’s,  Billie Bob’s been doing a short time room with the shapely 31 year old.

I’m having a great time in this sister club. I was here twice in the past two weeks.  First time, one of my cousins was all over this gal as we were all sitting in front of the stage.  I thought she was whipped with ugly stick a plenty.  But he was feeling her up all over.  About then one of the gals who’s dancing before me, sees me getting eye contact with the woman dancing next to her. I’m pretty drunk by now, but I still knows a pretty girl when I sees one.

“Do you want to buy friend me, drink?” the unattractive gal asks me.

“(Sure why not?) Which is not exactly what I said because I knows this bar girl ain’t about to understand all that. “Kap.  I buy drink for pu ying sway mach mach.”

I could probably say all those words in Thai, but why should I bother? Hym…”Pom su kong puying sway mach mach”. Su Kong means buy or something like that. Sway mach mach means very beautiful and Kap means yes. But I’m sure my grammar’s going to be wrong and if it isn’t I will be off in my pronunciation, so why in the hell should I bother.

The pretty girl comes off the stage and joins me for a drink. It takes all of five minutes to have her in my arms. After two tequilas she’s startin to warm up to me so I start kissing her on her neck.   Her arms break out into goose bumps.

“Ooh”, the girl giggles.  Chocatee.  (I’m ticklish)

I’m having a blast.  And so are the girls.  All of them whose anywhere near us Southern boys.

Then I get the word from someone working for the bar. The word is the girl I’m with is a handful.  Expensive too.  My source points another girl out to me who’s dancing on the stage.  She’s got a trim little body.  The kind I like.

Our second visit to the “Sister Club”.

This was the first time. One week later, the girl I had been with is with another customer. I glance at her a couple times but she acts as if I’m not even there. “Oh well, I’m moving onto my favorite gal. Her name’s “Next”. I’m sitting in the peanut gallery. That’s what I call the 1st and 2nd row of seats startin about five meters from the stage. Billy Bob’s sittin next to me.  He likes the Peanut Gallery because back theres he can feel up the girls with impunity.  But a man can get ignored sittin back there too.  And if he’s not ignored the fat ugly gals tend to come up to me in the Peanut Gallery, uninvited.

Sure enough one of them fat ugly ones comes over to sit with he.  I tell her I must go to the stage to see my girlfriend.  And sure enough, when I take my bin over to the stage, who happens to be there?  The gal recommended to me during my last visit.  Eye contact takes only seconds. She’s dancing right in front of me.  A few minutes later, she’s sitting on my lap drinking tequila with me.

She tells me she’s a 37 year old lady.  But she’s got a real nice ass on her, and a nice shape even if her tits are small.  She’s got a great attitude though.

A few minutes later, the girl I had been with the first time joins us. “Buy me drink?” she asks

It was all so predictable.  The girls are going to get 50 baht off each ladies drink I buy them.  My policy in the go go bars is to never buy drinks for two ladies at the same time.  The money goes fast like diarrhea shit down the toilet.

I tell the girl, “Before you my lady.  Right now she my titak (sweetheart).  I only buy drink for tilac now.  Next time maybe you my tilak again.”

Then another girl suddenly appears, which causes me to break my own rule.  She’s been dancing right next to the 37 year old.  Totally nude with her pussy nearly in my face.  She’s got a pretty good body, but I like the 37 year old’s better.  Suddenly I’ve got both girls in my arms. I buy all three of us a tequila.

To justify her existence and my buying her a drink in the first place, this second girl starts feelin my dick.  In fact, both gals are feelin my dick while discussing its attributes in Thai.

“That feels real good,”  I got an idea.”

The other gal’s young.  I can’t remember but I think she’s told me she’s just twenty.  She’s got soft silky skin.  The girl’s totally nude so I can feel her all over.  But I don’t.  I grab her hand, the one that’s already on my dick, and start sliding it up my shorts.  Then I do the same with the thirty-seven year old’s hand.

I tell the girls. “We play game. Game is “Whose feelin my dick?”

You can all tell where this one’s going. I got one hand from each gal on my dick at the same time.  Or on one of my balls. I now take my hat and cover my eyes with it so that I can’t see a damn thing.  The young twenty year old starts off groping me from the left side of my dick while the 37 year old’s touching it from the right side.  I get the two girls to start changing their hands around.  The young gal changes her hand position from the left side of my dick to the right side while the older gal slides her grip to the left side.  At first I remove my hat and watch the girls while I try to gain a sense of what each girl’s hand feels like.  Then I put my hat in front of my eyes again.

Sometimes I’m only feelin one hand on my dick. The younger girl’s hand seems to move more aggressively than the 37 year old’s.  I think this one’s touch is exquisite.

I remove my hat blindfold, and announce to the girls, “okay, that time the hand was yours,” as I point to the older woman.  Your hand felt so soft.  It felt so good.  I bet you could make me come in three minutes.”

“No.  Hand my hand,” the younger girl blurts out.

And so it went. I’d turn out to be wrong more than 50 % of the time. Which didn’t really matter because I was constantly gettin my dick rubbed.  And if I was enjoying myself, the two girls were enjoying themselves even more.

After all, how many guys have played,  which hand is rubbin my dick now?”  With them.  No one.

The next few days I started thinking to myself, “Should I bar fine the 37 year old or not?” Of the two girls she had the finer ass.  And I had learned that the bar had its own short time rooms upstairs.

Which brings us back to last night. The 37 year old’s not to be seen anywhere’s.  Billy Bob’s just returned from his fuckin at the Sweethearts short time hotel on Walking Street.  This is where a 32 year old Englishman supposedly jumped out of his room on the third floor and landed on Walking Street at 4 a.m.   He died upon arrival at the hospital. I’m sure this one’s going down as a suicide.

Another Sweethearts short time suicide
A suicide? Yep. After 4 a.m. this 31 year old Brit did a Swan dive onto the Walking Street pavement. Onlookers were terrified when they heard the sickening thud. In my opinion this guy came in here for a short time. Others say he was staying long time in a hotel arrangement. But according to what I’ve gleaned no valuables including a watch or cell phone were found in the room. No money either or that’s what I’ve read.
Odd thing is on Thai Visa it is mentioned that no money, no watch, cell phone or any other valuables were found in his room. I think you already knows my opinion on this one

Although no valuables or belongings were found in the Brit’s room, on May 14th, 2016 a Scot.  Steve Balfour, age 35, was found dead in his room at Sweethearts.    All identification and his wallet were missing so his body wound up in a morgue for unidentified persons. until it was identified by his tattoos.   Methinks Steve died of old age while the 31 year old Brit’s death was caused from taking flying lessons from an unknown lady boy or other innocent persons who are not lady boys.    As to the missing identifications and valuables from both deaths I personally believe they were carried off by rampaging hungry rats.

Blissful Soi Six Warmup to Walking Street go go action

Earlier I had gone to Soi Six.  But only for a half hour where I ran into one of my German buddies.  We had one beer together while I was having my dick rubbed by a young girl who I already knew.

She kept telling me: “I want to fuck you so bad.  Please fuck me.  I so horny.”

Come hell or high water.  I could not convince my German pal to come with me to Walking Street.  Billy Bob and our Southern American friends are fun.  My German comrade knows this, but he also knows that the Walking Street go go bars constitute a piss poor waste of money.  Unless he goes there after midnight to prey on the babes who are looking for some fucking action in the Discos where there’s no bar fine to be paid.

Third Night at the Sister Club.  Run in with 1 of the Pimping Pattaya mamasans

But I had agreed to meet up with Billy Bob and two other guys in the go go bars.  So here I was saddling up to the stage, using myself as bait for anyone interesting who’d just happen to zoom in on me. I was hoping it would be the 37 year old.  But she was nowhere to be seen.  Obviously it was her night off or she was with another customer.  The first girl who I had given goose bumps to wasn’t there either.  But the 20 year old certainly was, dancing in front of me, completely nude.

Obviously she was expectin me to buy her a drink.  And since neither of the other two girls was workin tonight I offered her one.  Soon, she was off that stage standing next to me with another young gal standing next to her.

I know where this one’s going.  Neither girl means a shit to me.  The first girl, the 20 year old is too young to know where her ass ends and her head begins.  This  game’s is to get as many drinks out of me as possible.  And sure enough.   Here it comes.

“Will you buy drink for friend me?”

“Such an original line.  How many times have I heard it?  And now you knows why I like Soi Six so much.”

I decide to buy each of them a drink.  But only one drink unless one of the girls redeems herself.

They order soft drinks.  The kind with no alcohol in them whatsoever.  All this is complete boredom for me.  The same thing happens again and again with the girls all playing the same script.

But I want to know how much it costs to use the short time room upstairs.  I don’t give a squatters ass for either of these two nitwits. I’m thinking of bar fining another gal who works for one of the sister clubs for this place.  Makes sense that since all these girls are workin for the same organization that I can bring a girl from a sister club to use the short time room.

By this time Billie Bob’s joined us. The two girls English skills are so abysmal that they have no clue on what I’m wanting to find out. Mamasan soon joins us to intercept–I mean interpret.

“You want to bar fine lady?” The mamasan asks me.

“No.  Not now. I want to know how much for short time.  I know bar fine is 900 baht.   How much must I pay to use room upstairs?

“You pay 3400 baht,” the mamasan replies. 500 baht for room, 900 baht for bar fine and 2000 baht for tip lady.”

“Cun my Kochai,” I reply. Which means you don’t understand.

I boom boom Billie Bob.  He want 200 baht for boom boom.  We want use room. Toll Rai? (How much?) I ask the mamasan while pointing at Billie Bob.

“Lady costs 3400 baht for boom boom,” the mamasan replies.

“But I don’t want lady.  I want boom boom Billy Bob.”  Then I tell her I’m joking.

She still doesn’t get it.  “Up to me and Billy Bob, what I pay for boom boom.  Not up to you.  How much for room?”

She still doesn’t get it. “Okay, I love lady from other bar. You have three bars with same big boss owner.  I want to bring lady from your other bar to short time.  How much for room?”

“Midai.”  Which means cannot. “Only can boom lady bar here.”

I don’t want to implicate the manager.  The man’s not here tonight. He’s American and we get along well.  This manager has assured me that in his bar it is entirely up to me what I have to pay one of this girls for sex. T o make sure I’ve got the rules straight, I’ve asked him, “So if one of your girls agrees to have short time with me for 500 baht this is okay with your club.”

“Yes, by all means. It is up to you and the girl.”

As I keep sayin, “Don’t deal with Pimping Pattaya mamasans.”  They are worthless scum.  But take it from me, Pimping Pattaya mamasans are only the tip of the iceberg.  Most Thais are completely unwilling to take advice from foreigners or to follow their orders. For example, if you are a Westerner who’s on the committee running a condo, the Thais who are working for the condo owners and the committee will do all they can to not follow your rules.  They will quit their jobs in a heart beat because in their little minds they are Thai, and therefore superior to any foreigner.  Unfortunately Pattaya is still growing in leaps and bounds.  So there’s always new jobs coming up. They will just up and quit and all because they feel they have lost face just having to put up with a foreigner who’s telling them what to do.  This goes for the staff of hotels too if “their bosses are foreigners”.  It most certainly applies to restaurants whose entire staff oftentimes quits en mass because a Thai employee is not getting his way.

The Soi Six Version of Pimping Pattaya mamasans

There’s a go go bar on Soi Six called “Dolls.” The owner of the place is German or so I’ve been lead to believe.  He’s told me the same thing. Which is it’s entirely up to me and the girl how much I must pay her for her tip.  It used to be that a man only had to pay for the room upstairs which his 500 baht.  Almost all the Soi Six girls ask 1000 baht for short time these days and the price of the room is in nearly all cases just 300 baht.  I once banged a girl at Dolls but when the girl told me she wanted 1000 baht I told her since the room was 200 baht higher than all the other Soi Six rooms, I’d have to pay her just 800 baht.  She accepted.

But times have changed. The owner of Dolls later told me that I’d have to pay his girls at last 1500 baht for short time. Otherwise all the other girls would get angry with the girl doing me for 1000 baht. A few weeks later I got one of the girls to agree with me on a short time for 1000 baht, but then one of those stupid Pimping Pattaya mamasans intervened.  I paid for my drinks and then she wrote a new ticket on which she wrote, 2500 baht. She then explained that 2000 baht was for the girl, 500 baht was for the room.

I told this piss poor excuse for one of those stupid Pimping Pattaya mamasans that the owner had told me that it was up to me and the girl what I had to pay for sex.”

To which the mamasan told me, “He not in charge of this bar.  I am.”

See what I mean. By the time the two young girls started asking me to buy them their next kiddie cocktail, I said to the girl who had been feelin my dick last week. “You want beer or tequila”

“I want drink.”  Which meant I’d be paying 165 baht for kiddie cocktail 1 for this first girl and 165 baht for kiddie cocktail 2 for the 2nd girl.

“Okay. I not buy you drink.  You can have tequila or beer.  Up to you.”

I want drink. Buy me drink.”

“What is this shit?  You think you one of those Stepford Wives?   But I don’t say it aloud.  I know from too much experience that you cannot argue with Thais.

Here’s an example. S uppose you have a girlfriend.  But your girlfriend is one lazy bitch.  She won’t even clean up the kitchen and after a week it starts to get pretty bad.  So you tell her, “Honey, I want you to do better job cleaning kitchen.”

To which she replies, “You want to finish me?  Okay, we finish.”

She’s saying, “I have no interest in improving my behavior  or doing something I should be doing for you.”  She winds up giving you no choice.  It all comes down to  this with most Thai women, “You cannot expect anything of me because if you complain about anything that means that you don’t want me in your life at all.”

Well, I’ve got a lot better things to do than to dabble with these two nitwits. Billy Bob suggests that we go up into the peanut gallery.  I remove my little box on which the little slip showing my drink charges are typed and my drink, and follow Billy Bob up to two vacant seats up in the peanut gallery.  We have one beer together up there while actually having an intelligent conversation now that there’s no go go bar girls present.  Then we leave the bar, then Walking Street where I will spend the next two hours in a small beer bar I often go to.  There I buy one of the girls two or three drinks at beer bar prices while getting a massage.  This girl’s no beauty queen, but she used to work giving massages, and she’s pretty damn good at it.  The music’s pretty good in this little cocktail bar. They’s got You tube up on a big t.v. and there’s a constant flow of music coming from the bar’s sound system I have to admit to getting a lot of satisfaction from buying this old gal a few drinks at reasonable prices. Meanwhile I can guarantee one thing.  Next time I go to that last Walking Street go go bar I’m going to spend time with the 37 year old gal.  Either that or I’m going to be with the 31 year old from this club’s sister club. This young stuff is only for little Thai boys to fool around with or stupid old falang who don’t know shit from shinola.

Uncle Bufford go go bar review 1 (4-21-2017)

Uncle Bufford go go bar review The G Spot

Uncle Bufford go go bar review 1 (4-21-2017 ).  First stop is the G-spot. I like it here because they have happy hour prices till 9:30 or so.

Uncle Bufford go go bar review
I owe it to the world to share what I am thinking about what is really important in this life.

This means I can get two Gin and Tonics for 140 baht, and that’s just enough to get me on my way.  Another thing, it’s not all that high pressure here. If me and my pals just want to drink alone, to save some money, the girls aren’t all that pushy.  And if I want someone, the bar fine’s 900 baht.  That’s not as good as things used to be when go go bar fines were 600 baht.  But here, if a man wants to take a girl long time for an alnighter, the bar fine is still 900 baht.   There’s no bar fine for a one hour short time with a much larger bar fine for long time the way so many go go bars are charging now a days.  Also, the girl and I can set our own price without having the mamasans telling me I must pay her 2000 baht for short time and 3000 long time.

Uncle Bufford go go bar review Crazy House

Billie Bob and I move onto Crazy House.  Billie Bob’s not all the keen on this place anymore.  He says he does not like the stupid uniforms the girls put on now. I want to come here because I just had a sexy girl from G spot all over me. She felt so good and I wanted her so much, but Billie Bob and me had agreed  that neither of us would bar fine anyone tonight.  Anyways, we go to Crazy House because I want to see how good this girl feels compared to the G Spot gal. Luckily she’s there.

I’ve banged her a few times. I’ve also banged the G Spot dancer a few times. The gal from Crazy House is short, but she’s got a great body. She has beautiful breasts that are just large enough to fill a man’s mouth.  She knows it too.  And she uses this to her fullest advantage. If she’s had enough tequila she will just put her pussy on full display. Sometimes she will just lie down on her back pointing it upwards at the ceiling.  It’s hard for a man to keep his eyes away. She’s got raw sex appeal and she’s totally brazen about it.

Gouging the customers for drinks

She gets 50 baht for each ladies drink. So the bar bill mounts up in a hurry especially when she’s asking you to buy two tequilas.  One for yourself and one for her.  And that seems to be the main point of her game.  Pretty soon your bin is 1000 baht and if you stick around a little longer it’s soon going to be 2000 baht.  Buy her out of the bar costs a 1000 baht bar fine now.  Before Christmas it was 800 baht. But Christmas is prime time for the bars to really gouge their customers.  For Crazy House, it’s still Christmas even though it’s now almost May.

I can’t prove it, but I think Mamasan is telling this girl to finish her short times in 45 minutes or less. The short time rooms are just across the street.  Ohm likes to get the short time over with as soon as she can.  And then she tries to get the customer to come back to the bar to buy her even more drinks.

She feels so good perched up on my lap. Then she feels my dick.  Ohm knows only too well that it’s good and hard.  But I had a huge hard on while I was with the G Spot dancer.  I buy her one tequila.  Within five minutes she’s asking for a second one.  While still sitting on my lap she opens her legs a little.  My hand’s right there. She wiggles her hips a little and lowers herself onto my hand. She is almost impossible to resist and she knows it.  But I had promised Billy Bob I would not bar fine anyone tonight.

I leave it at just two drinks for her, and then I tell the waitress, “Check bin.” Ohm asks me to buy her one more drink. But I politely refuse. Then I ask her to meet me outside the bar in a few days so I won’t have to bar fine her.  She twists her face in disapproval.  But I already know how mercenary she is.  She’s after all the commission money she can get off each drink her customers buy.  If she meets me outside her bar, she’s not going to get any drink commissions.  “How can you be such a cheap charlie?” her disdainful look tells me.

The other girl knows the go-go bars are fucking over the customers. Tourists don’t know any better but the guys who live here all the time sure as hell do.  Most of the go go bars are operating like machines in order to squeeze out as many drinks as they can from their customers. The way it usually works is the girl is given 10, maybe 15 minutes to sit with a customer, and then she’s called back to the stage where she must take her turn dancing.  If she likes her customer or is getting enough drinks out of him, she will return to order more drinks from him. If he appears drunk or new at the game other women join her. She tells customers one of them is her sister. “Can you buy sister me, drink?” she asks.  But once a customer shows he’s generous with his money mamasan will also appear and ask him for a drink also.

On Lady Drinks The G-Spot is much more laid back

Crazy House is a hands on  fun house.  It’s also about as high pressure as it gets when it comes to milking a customer dry for drinks.  G Spot operates differently.  Once customers are slow to get them the next drink, girls like Ohm will drop them in a minute to find a new customer or just to run off to chat with the other girls. Over at the G Spot, a typical girl will allow her customer to take his time and drink at his own pace. Dawn will usually not even ask a man to buy her a drink. But since she seems so good-natured, I won’t hesitate a minute to buy her a drink. I get the feeling from Dawn that she’s on my side. Or that we are both on the same side.  I just keep getting great vibes from her.

I’ve now been in the very closest proximity to both girls which is exactly the way I had planned it. Both of them turn me on. It’s about an equal contest. But I prefer Dawn. I get the feeling that she’s really with me.  But with Ohm I feel like I’m a target.

Police cause Soi Six girl to go to Korea for 3 months

My thoughts turn to my favorite Soi Six girl. She’s gone to Korea for three months because she’s not been making enough money on Soi Six on account of the police. She tells me that things have gotten so bad on Soi Six that the bars are no longer allowing the girls to short time their customers in the upstairs rooms. This has not really applied to me, however. Many of the bars know me and trust me not to call the police if I see a falang take a girl upstairs. This doesn’t help Lee any.  I remember a couple of years ago taking a girl upstairs in Route 69 Bar when the bartender required me to leave my cell phone with the bar. I learned afterwards that this was to keep me from calling the police after getting naked in the room with the girl. Two weeks later the girl from Club 69 told me I could not take her upstairs so she got a motorbike taxi to take us to a short time hotel about 1 kilometer from the bar.

I really miss Lee. She’s around five foot six, which is tall for a Thai woman and she’s got gorgeous breasts, the equal of Ohm’s but they are much larger. The most important thing about her is she’s completely devoted to making me come.  Not just once, but two times or even three times if I still got the urge. And nothing’s off limits with her. Even if she doesn’t like it she at least acts like she enjoys French kissing. Having sex with her usually takes an hour with all the foreplay and after play. There’s none of this, “fuck me now (as I look at my watch). Sadly, Ohm’s wearing a watch on both of her wrists.

It’s time for the next bar though.  I tell Billy Bob, “Well, Ohm’s now made 100 baht for the two ladies drinks I’ve just bought her. Maybe now she will start to think about really considering meeting me outside the bar.  It’s doubtful, however.”

Mystified at Misty’s

We hit a couple more clubs. One of them’s Misty’s. I know one of the girls quite well there. Only one week ago she was living in my condo building. But the falang who had taken her out of the bar didn’t want her in the end. He stopped paying her. As expected she left him.  Billie Bob and I saw her getting off a motorbike taxi in front of the club. I called her name out three times, but she never answered me. She never even saw me.  I don’t remember ever seeing a go go dancer that fucked up in my life.

Billie Bob and I sit drinking our beers in a booth that had its own mini stage and dancing pole. I tell the waitress that I wan to buy a drink for the young girl who used to live in my condo building. Five minutes later the waitress comes back to tell me that the girl is not coming to join us.  I can’t fathom why.  The waitress merely shakes her head as if she were just as mystified as I was.  Fifteen minutes later we finish our drinks and check bin.

“She’s over there,” said Billy Bob. “If you want to say hello to her before we leave now’s your chance.  On our way out of the club, I approach her while she was talking to another girl next to the main stage.

“We have to leave now.  I wanted to buy you a drink earlier,” I tell the girl.

She looks up at me through glassy eyes. She barely recognizes me but at least she knows it’s me. Boy, is she fucked up.   The falang who had forced her out of his condo is a complete idiot. She’s only 19 but I always had good feelings about her. I don’t think she was ever cut out for this kind of work. I really don’t know but my gut feeling is that she’s simply not wired for having to fuck whichever customer comes along. She had just lost her boyfriend who had at least started out giving her a steady income and a nice place to live. But she had lost all that, and maybe that’s why she is so screwed up tonight.  She’s only 19. I think she probably regards having to fuck so many disagreeable asshole falang like most people might view  shoveling cow shit for a living.

Uncle Bufford go go bar review God Awful Da Da Music at Super Girls

Billie Bob and I split up and I go alone over to Super Girls. Drinking a bottle of Heineken while sitting in front of the stage, I have to listen to one very loud da da song after another. I couldn’t stand more than fifteen minutes of this punishment and it would not  matter how many good looking girls were hanging around me or how many of them are feeling my cock.  It is time for the final bar for the night.

Uncle Bufford go go bar review Taboo Club

Taboo must be about the last go go bar on your left near the end of Walking Street at Pattaya Tai. I had never been in the place, but about a week ago, a woman had run after me, calling out my name as I started off for my first go go of the night. The woman had been one of the mamasans at Super Babes and Super Girls. I didn’t buy many girls drinks at Super Babes, but I did like a waitress who must have been in her mid thirties and possibly as old as forty. I oftentimes drank tequilas with the waitress and the mamasan, who I found to be at least as attractive as some of the better looking girls. So I decide to go in to look for the ex mamasan.

She’s nowhere to be found and by this time I’m pretty well on my way to la la land. The club is long and narrow. There’s no seating in the front section so I find myself being escorted to the back of the club. I might have had a girl or two try to get my attention but they aren’t very attractive. Suddenly I have to go to the restroom.

It is a coed rest room. Which is pretty cool because on many occasions I find myself meeting the nicest women in the toilets of Pattaya’s finest go go establishments.  There was the “Beautiful Pattaya Toilet girl from Crazy House” for example, and every so often I can’t  keep getting my mind off her.  While pondering my thoughts while pissing in the urinal I hear an angry voice behind me.

“Don’t pee on the floor.” It’s one of the cleaning gals who spend about half their time cleaning up after the customers in the toilet. I look down and sure enough there is a small puddle of water near my feet. Then I look at myself and observed how close my penis is to the urinal.

It all looks alright to me. My dick is over the center of the urinal. I don’t believe I could have been pissing on the floor. There’s two cleaning women in the toilet. I reply, “Look at my dick. My dick not pee on the floor. Customer who come before me piss on floor.”

“No. You pee pee on the floor.”

“No I didn’t. Look at my dick. It is a very good dick and see how it make water over the urinal. Come over and Look. Customer before me, he bad man.”

By the time I’m going back to my beer hating the place. “That cleaning lady, just hate falang customers,” I think to myself. “Even if I was pissing on the floor it is not her place to be getting so angry about it. That’s what she is getting paid for so fuck her.”

I check bin and then I head out of the club towards to front door. Then I see her. The ex mamasan who is now a service girl. I order two drinks from her, one for me and one for her.  She takes me to a small table.  Suddenly I’ve got three or four go-go girls all around me, all of them asking me for a drink.

“I cannot buy all of you a drink, so I will choose just one of you.”

She is pretty damn attractive but I am really drunk now. She has a great body.  At least in my drunken stupor she seems to have a beautiful figure.

I drink there until almost two and then I head home. The next night as I walk past Club Taboo one of the greeter girls standing outside the club calls out to me.

“I remember you from last night.”

“Was I very mal?” I asked her.

“You very very mal (drunk), the girl replied.

Too bad that I can’t remember if she was the girl sitting with me.

In tomorrow night’s Uncle Bufford go go bar review I will meet a stunner who reminds me of the beautiful Walking Street toilet girl from Crazy House.  I am warned to stay away from her, but will I?  I am Uncle Bufford and I am not normal.

Pattaya go go bar Mamasans extorting commissions from their bar girls

Pattaya go go bar Mamasans are getting commissions to rip customers off who pay their bar girls for sex.  This is a leading cause for exorbitant short and long time prices in the Walking Street go go bars.

Pattaya go go bar Mamasans send many girls here
Upstairs is a short time hotel. If a man brings a Walking Street go go girl here he must pay 400 baht for one hour’s fun. But if he comes alone or brings a girl who’s not a Walking Street sex worker he only pays 300 baht. Upon arrival the girl gets a receipt from the receptionists. THe question is, who gets the 100 baht commission?  Is it  the go go dancer, the Pattaya go go bar Mamasans or the go go bar itself?

Most Pattaya go go bar Mamasans are now asking their customers to pay 2000 baht for short time and 3000 baht for long time.  In fact many mamasans won’t even ask.  They will simply write a bill out for the bar girl’s 2000 or 3000 baht tip plus a bar fine of 1000 or 1500 baht.   Mamasan’s not about to let the girl leave even if she’s already agreed to go with her customer for a lot less.  But it didn’t used to be that way.

Only a few years back, the typical bar fine for a Pattaya Walking Street go go girl was 600 baht.  The 600 baht gave the customer the right to take the go go girl out of the bar.  Same goes for beer bars where even today the bar fine is usually only 300 baht.  After the bar fine’s paid, what they do and how much the girl gets paid  has always been between the girl and the customer.   Only a few years ago, the going rate was 1000 baht for short time.  Long time meant all night for between 1500 and 2000 baht.

But times have changed my friends keep telling me.  “You will never be able to short time a go go girl for only 1000 baht,” they keep telling me.  On this they are half right.  They can’t get by paying less than 2000 baht for short time because they don’t believe in themselves.  Which is perfectly understandable due to most of them not being able to think logically.   So here’s my logic about the old 1000 baht benchmark for short time sex.

Practically everyone frequenting the Walking Street go go bars today fall into two categories.  The first are the tourists.  Tourists simply don’t know any better.  Therefore they are ripe targets for scheming bar girls, and the Pattaya go go bar Mamasans.

The second are the expats who actually live here.  Such expats fall into two categories.  1.  Those who are on Walking Street  to show their newcomer friends around and 2. Those who come to get a little excitement from prettier girls than they are finding in the beer bars.   I view this later group of expats as voyeurs.  As voyeurs they venture into the go go’s for a little touchie feelie or to watch a bunch of sexy gals dance naked.   These guys are totally satisfied with being voyeurs because they fail to understand that most of the women they meet in the go go bars are not getting bar fined very often.

Putting unrelenting pressure on customers to buy ladies drinks is the Holy Grail

For the most part go go bars have become impersonal mechanisms for extracting as much money from their customers in the shortest time possible.  The routine is nearly always the same in many go go bars.  Some of the girls are dancing on the stage.  A few are sitting around waiting for their turn to replace the girls who are already dancing.   A customer or a group of customers comes in, and the girls start eyeing him like a pack of dogs panting for a bone.  For the girls the holy grail is to pressure the new arrivals into buying them as many drinks as possible.

Pattaya go go bar Mamasans and their Pack gang up on their prey

So here’s the routine.  A girl sits next to her prey.  Within five minutes she asks him to buy her a drink.  When the drink arrives, the prey suddenly realizes she’s ordered a coke, sprite or other soft drink.  If it’s alcohol she orders a very weak cocktail.  Five minutes later she’s asking for a 2nd no alcohol or low alcohol ladies drink.  But by this time the pair are joined by one or two more go go girls who are also asking the prey to buy them drinks.  About this time one of the friendliest, most thoughtful Pattaya go go bar Mamasans  joins the table.  She feels entitled to a drink also.

If the customer doesn’t keep buying his new companion a drink every five minutes the mamasan asks her to take another turn on the stage.  It’s all a concerted effort to extract as many drinks as possible out of each customer in the shortest amount of time possible.  And each time the customer buys a lady’s drink, the chief lady predator will get a 50 baht commission from the go go bar.  Oftentimes a mamasan keeps hovering over the new customer’s table like a vulture on a mission to keep the ladies drinks flowing.

Mamasan won’t get her tip money when the girl only charges 1000 baht for boom boom

But when the customer finally decides to bar fine his “new girl”, the mamasan steps into the middle of the ring to officiate.  Although I might oftentimes get the go go girl to agree to a 1000 baht short time,  a mamasan suddenly appears to tell me that I must pay the girl 2000 baht.  Thinking this through for myself I concluded that although a lot of go go girls wanted to go short time with me for 1000 baht, the mamasans kept intruding for a reason.  Since in almost all things in Pattaya Money is number one, I concluded that the mamasans were extorting commissions out of the girls and they could hardly do that if I was only paying the girls 1000 baht.

Mamasan, why should I buy you a drink?  You’re not the one fucking me

So here’s what all this comes down to.  And several times I’ve actually told mamasans this when they had the audacity to ask me for tips.  “This girl is about to fuck me.  You aren’t.”  Truth is most of these Walking Street go go bar mamasans are as useless as tits on a boar.

The other night I was at Supergirls.  For shits and grins I asked a girl if she ever had to tip the mamasan when she went short time with a customer.  Her answer was an unequivocal yes.  100 baht.  And there is no longer a normal bar fine at Supergirls.  There’s a short time bar fine.  And there’s a long time bar fine.  I think the long time bar fine is 1500 baht.  The whole idea is to push the short times so that the girls keep coming back to the go go club so that they can extract even more ladies drinks from the customers.

There used to be a waitress at Misty’s.  Her bar fine was 800 baht whereas all the dancers’ barfines were 1500 baht (up from the 600 baht barfine from just a few years ago).   The first time Billie Bob bar fined her, she stayed with him an hour and a half in the short time room.  I think she really liked Billie Bob.  She kept showing him all kinds of pictures of herself, her friends and her children in the short time room until Billie Bob finally told her he had run out of time.   But the next few times Billie Bob bar fined her, she’d tell him mamasan wanted her back in the bar waitressing.

Annie despises the go go bar mamasans

We met Annie years ago on Soi Six.  Annie’s just one reason no one can tell me that Walking Street go go girls are more attractive   or nicer than Soi Six girls.   Annie was a 800-1000 baht girl but now that she’s graduated to the big leagues over on Walking Street, she’s now the real deal  2000-3000 baht go go queen.

But Annies a straight shooter.  Billie Bob was sure that he could bang her over on Walking Street for 1000 baht.  She had done him before  for just 800 baht.  So Annie agrees on doing a short time with him for 1000 baht.  But along comes Mamasan and she tells Annie and Billie Bob that he must pay 2000 baht short time.  But Billie Bob’s real smart you see.  That’s on account of my training him.  He tells Mamasan that he and Annie are old friends from way back.  To her credit Annie agrees with him.

“Yeah, me and Annie here, we same same brother and sister.  We know each other since we were babies,”  Billie Bob tells the mamasan, the waitress and one of the bar boys.  “And see him”, Billie Bob points to the bar boy.  “He pi chai me.”  (My younger brother).

What Annie doesn’t tell Billie Bob is she’s tipping three mamasans 100 baht each.  I suppose she felt she had to do it in order for the mamasans to allow her to leave the bar for less than 2000 baht.   Which leads me to the following conclusion.

You Japanese are the ones at fault

I’m going to blame a lot of this on you Japanese.  And for two reasons.  First, you aren’t here with me to defend yourselves as I write these words of truth.  The second is, you guys keep trying to be polite.  Which is a big mistake because most of you shouldn’t be polite to all these Walking Street go go bar predators.  There are a lot of you, Japanese, frequenting the go go bars on Walking Street.  You tend to go in groups to the go go’s.  For many of you–Your English and your Thai language skills are definitely lacking. Which means you face real problems  communicating with the go go girls.

This provides the Pattaya go go bar mamasans their opportunity to intercede in your behalf.  But be forewarned.  They aren’t there to help you guys.  And they aren’t there to help their bar girls either.  Just remember, unlike Japan, on Walking Street money is number one.  Watch out for the friendly mamasan who appears to be looking out for you.   She’s getting commissions from the girls for the deals she’s making for you.    You get the nicely wrapped up packaged deal of 2000 baht short time or 3000 plus long time.  But you are really getting the shaft.    And you wind up paying double or triple what I have to pay.   As for many of my pals.  Well, let’s just say it’s a case of monkey see, monkey do.

Pattaya go go bar Mamasans

It is my firm belief that Pattaya go go bar Mamasans  are going to favor those girls who tip them well.  And for those who don’t–the mamasans are simply going to let them wither on the vine.  Such uncooperative girls will be ignored by the mamasans and service girls who work directly under them.

Go Go dancers who don’t tip the mamasans will get the worse opportunities to hunt Japanese

When Pattaya go go bar Mamasans require the girls to demand 2000 baht short and 3000 baht long times from their customers, most of them will jump to appease their mamasans.

Truth is,  most Pattaya go go bar Mamasans are causing the girls to make less money than they would if the mamasans  suddenly ceased to exist.  Most of the girls are not getting bar fined very often.  But they would if the mamasans would allow them to set their own prices.  Some of the go go girls despise the mamasans so much that they revel with delight from cutting the go go bar out of its bar fines and high priced drinks.  Under one condition, however.  Provided you, Mr. Customer, cut them a square deal.

To find out more about how Walking Street go go bars are  operating check out:

Pattaya coyote girls now taking over Walking Street

Mr Walking Street meets high quality Soi Six Girl

 

Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners raise prices again

girl victimized by Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners
Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners are raising bar fines to 1000-1500 baht levels and squeezing as many lady drinks from their customers as they can. The price of a beer now averages 150 baht. Most expats, the guys who live in Pattaya full time, hardly ever frequent the go go bars anymore. They know better than to have to pay 2000 baht short time, and a bar fine that goes from 1000 to 1500 baht while having to put up with the predatory tactics used by the go go girls to pressure customers into paying for an absurd number of drinks.

It’s Christmas day and I’m out on the town. I should know better. The Christmas holidays are when bar fines climb to insane levels. This is when greedy Pattaya go go bar owners really stick it to their customers. I told Billy Bob: “There’s no way I’m bar fining anyone tonight.” Then I ran into one of the sexiest go go dancers I’ve bar fined in a long time.

“Your bar fine still 800 baht?” I asked her.

“Now 1000 baht, “she replied.

“That’s a nice Christmas present from your big boss to his customers. Lek, I give you 1000 baht for short time.”

“Okay.”

Which was a great move on my part. And Lek was smart enough to go along with me.  I has been paying her 1500 baht for short time. Not real often though, because I gots me a couple of exceptional performers over on Soi Six for 1000 baht and it’s just 300 baht for the room with no bar fine. Sometimes I lay around the room for a couple of hours with one of the girls and I only have to pay the 300 baht room price once. And this girl is completely dedicated to making her Uncle Bufford come, no matter how long it takes. And she’s better looking than most go go girls. So is the other Soi Six girl.

So why in the world would I ever want to come down to Walking Street where the only customers are ignorant tourists who don’t know better?

Billy Bob’s not too keen on Soi Six for one thing. And it’s the challenge. I always tells my friends, “I can get some of these go go girls to bang me for 1000 baht.” But they don’t believe me. That’s because they iz idiots.

So I fucked Lek for 1000 baht. On Christmas night no less. The rest of you reading this can’t. But that’s only because you ain’t Uncle Bufford. I got the wisdom while the rest of you are only followers who can’t think for yourselves.

Only thing is all that tequila Lek and I keep drinking together at the CH go go bar is mighty high. She gets 50 baht for every lady’s drink I buy her, and I gots to pay 150 baht for all my beers. I can get the same beers at Soi Six for 90 baht, except for that go go bar that wants 120 baht. But I still go theres sometimes. That’s because there’s no pressure on me at the Soi Six go go bar. It’s so damn expensive to bang a girl upstairs that no way am I paying them stupid ass prices. So I just drink two or three drinks and move on to all them 1000 baht Soi Six girls.

I take Lek to the short time rooms across the street from CH. They have raised their prices to over 375 baht, and it’s either the girl or the Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners who gets the difference between the real 290 baht price this short time place charges customers who bring girls in from bars outside of Walking Street. I’m betting on the greedy Pattaya go go bar owners who rakes in this extra cash though.  Anyways, when you take a go go girl into this short time establishment, she fills out a little ticket. I thinks the short time place kicks back around 75 baht to the go go bar for each ticket.

Another thing. When I take Lek to the short time room, it’s like she’s got a time limit of half an hour or so because she’s always in a hurry to get me to come so she can get me back to her bar.  I’m sure in my heart that mamasan is making her cut my time short with her.   That Christmas night when I banged Lek for 1000 baht, Lek made me promise not to tell anyone that I’m doing her for 1000 baht.

At first I thought it was cause she was feeling she was losing face with the other girls. I mean how does it appear to all them go go bar girls who sit around eatin all that Pok Pok together all braggin about how much money they all iz makin and how much each customer gives them. Yeah right.

Here’s Lek telling all the other girls, “I’m doing Uncle Bufford for 1000 baht, and another girl is saying, “I only fuck Japanese men,because they pay me 3000 baht short time”.  That makes Lek feel real bad because she knows all the other girls are thinking, “Lek’s a cheapass 1000 baht whore while me and the other girls are 3000 baht high class prostitutes.” Fact of the matter Billy Bob thinks many of them will only go with Japanese men on account of the high prices dem Japanese keep paying.

So I promise Lek not to tell anyone in her bar that she’s now lowering her price to 1000 baht from the 1500 I have been paying her.

“Now keep that in mind all you Japanese men who are reading this. You guys pay 2000 baht or even more for the same girls I pay only half price for. Let’s face the facts, guys, I loves you Japanese but you sure are a bunch of piss poor money managers compared to me.”

The next time I come into CH Lek’s not there. But Mamasan who knows that I usually cannot control my dick, instructs another girl to pounce on me.  The girl’s one of the prettiest girls at CH, but she don’t have quite the body Lek’s got.  In no time she’s got her hands in my pants rubbin my dick and my balls. After a drink or two she says to me: “Short time me now. I want you now.”

“How about next week?” I reply.

“No good for me. Next week Lek’s going to be here and you will want Lek, not me.”

In spite of her rubbin my dick and my balls for a good hour and even gettin another girl to help her, I leave CH without bar fining her.

Banging Amy in the G Spot

A few days later, Billy Bob and I head to the G Spot on Walking Street. A girl spots me who I’ve not seen in over a year. She used to work at the Dolls A Go Go on Soi Six. Back then the short time room upstairs cost 500 baht, so I told her, “all the short time rooms here on Soi Six are 300 baht. Tell you what. You want 1000 baht short time.  I give you 800 since room is so much more.”  She agreed. So even though I was now on Walking Street, I knew she’d do me for 1000 baht.

But Mamasan told me I’d have to give her 2000 baht for short time.

“Mamasan.  Amy and I are old friends. I know her for 5 years.  Up to me.  Up to Amy what I give her.”

To this mamasan agreed.  And Amy backed me.  But there was just one short time room upstairs and they had to get it ready so there was a 15 minute wait.

Uncle Bufford goes for 3 go go girls in a row for 1000 baht.

So that’s two out of two girls who will boom boom me for 1000 baht. Which is fair enough.  Except the Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners are charging too much for their rooms and bar fines. So thinking mighty highly of myself I went back to CH.  Again, no Lek, but her “friend” was there and once again I was in the “friend’s” sights.

After the first tequila we had together I told her I would short time her for 1000 baht.  She didn’t say much, focusing upon her tequila instead of my proposition.

“I only pay ladies 1000 baht tip,” I said to her.

One tequila later she asks me, “What do you pay Lek?”

“I not tell you. That is up to Lek and me. Not you and not mamasan.”

After two or three tequilas she’s still with me.  Can I blame her when she’s getting 50 baht for each ladies drink?  I finally tell her. 1000 baht I pay you for short time or I leave now with Billy Bob.”

Again she asks, “What do you give Lek?”

And once again, I tell her, “That is up to Lek and me.”

She winds up refusing the 1000 baht and I check bin, anxious to leave A.S.A.P. thinking to myself, “Stupid girl.  That’s the last time I ever buy her a drink.”

*****

One week later

Lek launches herself on me just 10 seconds after I walk in the door. But I’ve been banging two girls down on Soi Six, and I’ve concluded, “It just doesn’t get any better than that.”

Billy Bob’s sitting on my immediate right while Lek is on my lap already stroking my dick.  It’s been awhile since I’ve been with Lek, but I remember just how succulently fine her breasts are.  I duck down and insert one of them in my mouth and start sucking away like a baby.

I tell Lek how “her friend” tried to get me to do a short time with her and how she refused the thousand baht offer I had given her.

“Mamasan be very angry with me if you tell her you boom boom me for 1000 baht,” Lek tells me.

(Are the mamasans getting a commission on go go dancer tips?  I’ve been here too long to dismiss this possibility)

“Not to worry, Lek.  I tell no one.  Not mamasan or girls here in Bar.”

“Who is girl who want you to boom boom you?”

The girl is dancing on the stage a few feet away from us.  So I point her out.  Then I tell Lek, “If I tell her you are boom booming me for 1000 baht she probably will also.”

“No one is going to boom boom for 1000 baht,” Lek replies.

“Except you, and a girl I took upstairs down at the G Spot last week. But I know her from Soi Six.”

Apparently not hearing me, Lek continued: “No girls will be doing 1000 short times here.”

“Except you.  But that is our little secret, Lek.”

After several drinks, I leave her after promising to short time her the next time I see her.  I had promised Billy Bob that tonight I wouldn’t be selfish and that I wouldn’t bar fine anyone, preferring to hit several go go’s with him instead.

Thinking more about Lek

But I’m rethinking Lek.  I think the two Soi Six girls like me a lot better than Lek does. On the other hand, mamasan is always horning in behind the scenes, no doubt telling her to limit her time with me in the short time room.

This had happened to me before at Mistys go go bar. I’m sure the waitress there really did like me, and again I was equally sure that Mamasan was telling her to hurry back to the bar as soon as we had finished. I know this because the first time the waitress and I had done a short time the waitress had all the time in the world, showing me pictures in the short time room, and talking endlessly about things I had long ago forgotten.  Then she had tried to get me to meet her outside the bar during Songkran but I had refused.

With Lek, who knows? But I could care less one way or the other. What was much more important was how well our body parts fitted together.  And how much I enjoy tasting her breasts.  I just love her trim little body. I also knew that nearly every man coming into her bar was paying 1500 to 2000 baht short time, minimum and that I was something special.  After all, I’m Uncle Bufford and the other guys simply ain’t me.

Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners and the Star A Go Go

After passing on Lek,  I wound up at Star a go go.  I know there’s a short time room upstairs so that’s perfect, but the girl who oftentimes drinks with me and rubs my dick tells me, “It’s closed. The police keep checking all the clubs.”

Which is true. A week ago the police had raided the Windmill and found an Englishman upstairs in the short time room with a girl. The guy wound up with his picture plastered all over the internet and the newspapers.  If he had a wife in England or a Thai steady girlfriend, this in my eyes was an unforgivable act. Meanwhile one of my two favorites on Soi Six had text messaged me that I could no longer boom boom her in the room upstairs in her bar.  Only on the outside, could we have sex, she had texted.

So I asked the Star a Go Go girl, “When your bar’s short time room is open, how much must I pay to boom you n this bar?”

“2000 baht for me. 1500 baht for the room,” the girl replied.

I decided right then not to ever come back to Star a Go Go. 3500 baht is a hundred American dollars, which is ridiculous for any Pattaya bar girl.  So I told her, “Well, maybe I get room somewhere and you can meet me on the outside and we never pay any Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners anything.

To which she agreed. I know I can get her for a thousand baht so long as I book her outside the bar But she reminds me a lot of one of my two favorite Soi Six girls.  But she’s getting a bit paunchy on account of all the alcohol she’s probably drinking as a bar girl.  The Soi Six girl has by far the better body.

Three nights ago in the Walking Street Go Go Bars

A few days later, four of us converge on Walking Street. Our first stop is at the Light House. The guys want to go there for the Eye Candy.  But no one in our group’s ever bar fined anyone there yet.  I go there for the “cheap happy hour prices”. Tonight two gin and tonics cost me 150 baht.  As usual, I’m bored here.  No one’s rubbing my balls yet.  But as long as I have two full drinks in front of me, I’m relatively happy.

Then it’s onto CH. I’m hoping Lek is going to show, but she’s nowhere in sight.  But the happy hour two for one drink prices are still on, so it’s another two gin and tonics.  I walk around the place looking for Lek.  The place is crowded and there’s nowhere to sit for four guys. Billy Bob and I sit in front of the hot tub where two girls are cavorting totally nude.  One of them keeps looking straight into my eyes.  Then I recognize her.   I fucked her. Not just once but several times, but gave up on her due to her becoming too chunky for my tastes.  There’s no improvement, however.

The waitresses finally are able to find seating for all four of us.  Billy Bob and I find spots at a small table across the room from the hot tub while BD (Big Dog) is being seated to our left at another small table next to me.  But Gerald has to sit clear across the room from us where he’s immediately set upon by one of the bar’s go go girls. After a few minutes the hot tub girl joins me. I buy her a drink as she seats herself in my lap and starts stroking my dick.

I quickly sms Lek on my cell phone: “I am here for you at your bar.” Other than getting my dick massaged and relaxing with my gin and tonics, I don’t want much to do with the gal on my lap. There’s no sign of Lek.  I had messaged her just in case she was somewhere in the go go bar and would make her appearance later. I didn’t want her to think I wanted the girl on my lap more than I wanted her.

“Lek, of course, really doesn’t give a shit about me.”  Well, maybe she would if I really went after her.  After all the prospect of enough money every month, and being able to quit dancing at the go go bar just might entice her to show a little affection (for my money) and some loyalty (again for my money, instead of someone else’s).

One of my neighbors had just moved a 19 year old go go girl in with him from Misty’s go go bar. He’s 65 so the age difference of 46 years is just about right. The 19 year old’s had one kid for 5 years now, so she must have gotten pregnant when she was 14.  Maybe she’s got 2 children.  I have no idea what he’s paying her each month, but I’ll be finding out, so yeah, if I want to have Lek, I can have Lek.  But I don’t want to have any of them.  I don’t need the baggage.  The bottom line is this.  Any woman limits a man’s freedom, and all women deteriorate physically.  I want to have any woman I want, and I want her in her prime.

Plus, I’m the kind of guy who really knows himself.  I know that the grass is always greener on the other side.  So it really does not matter what the girl I’m with is like.  There’s always something better, so I want no limitations on either my time or wallet.

Still–I wanta bang Lek in the worse way.

Our group moves on to Electric Blue. Billy Bob likes the place because the draft beers are just 45 baht here. The bar is very dark inside, which means he can grope a girl without hardly being seen since both his groping hand and her privates are both in the shadows.  I see nothing attractive here at all, and the place is chock full of cheap charlies all cashing in on those 45 baht beers.

Big Dog’s found someone to buy drinks for.  But Gerald’s all pissed off.  We don’t know why except he’s already leaving the bar to go home.  Or that’s what he’s telling us.  He’s probably going to meet other friends at another bar, or maybe he’s got a girl lined up to meet him back at his hotel.  But Big Dog’s not about to leave.  The girl who’s with him is kindof ugly, but that’s the kind of girls he likes. That’s why we calls him Big Dog because he will fuck anything.

Billy Bob and I head to the G-spot. The girl I had banged in the go go’s short time room upstairs is here. Amy’s got her hair dyed blonde, and she’s pretty drunk. I don’t realize just how bad off she is until I get her in the short time room later on.  Anyways, I bar fine her. Amy tells me that the club has closed the short time room upstairs on account of the police so I have to take her outside the bar to the short time place I usually use across from CH.

I want to walk ahead of Amy on account of my not wanting to be seen taking any girl to any short time room.  After all, I’ve got my appearances to keep up.  But Amy keeps hanging all over me as we walk down Walking Street.  Even worse, she keeps trying to take my arm or hold my hand.

But the G spot is controlled by one of those Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners who keeps raising his prices.  A few weeks ago Amy’s bar fine was 800 baht. Now it’s 900 baht.   I’m giving her only 1000 baht, however, same as I’m now giving Lek.

What I didn’t count on was Amy being an absolute goof ball.  When we take off our clothes in the short time room, I suddenly realize that she’s drunk too much and now she’s getting sick on me.  Several times she gets up from the bed to go to the toilet to throw up or to retch.  So I ask her how much she’s had to drink.   Amy admits to having just three drinks in the bar.   She also admits to drinking before coming to work.  So it’s not me. I know that Amy has always liked me.

A more likely reason is that Amy hates having to work in a go go bar. And that she hates having customers constantly groping her and her having to keep rubbing the dicks of all those customers she secretly despises.  And I have to say, “I don’t blame her.” So she probably got half way blitzed out of her mind before she even showed up at work.

It’s kind of like farmers hauling corn out of their grain bins and trucking it to the elevator.  Sometimes moisture accumulates in the corn and some of it spoils so bad that there’s no difference between it and shit.  So the farmer has to shovel all that spoiled corn out of his bins meanin he’s literally havin to shovel shit to keep makin his livin.

That’s the way I look at a lot of these bar girls.  They gotsa boom boom guys who are stupid, rotten, selfish bastards.  Most of them are fat hogs who never managed to get one woman in their home countries to ever be nice to them.   Most men who live in Pattaya are this way.  Yep….these bar girls have to keep shoveling shit into their pussies to make a livin and I can’t blame them for gettin sick now and then.

Next time I come in Walking Street, I’m going to be in Lek.  I’ve still got those friends of mine in town, and there’s no way that four guys can fully enjoy themselves on Soi Six.  That’s on account of the bars being too small to have more than one or two good-looking girls. There it’s good to hunt alone. So it looks like once again I’m going to have to put up with these Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners.

Soi Six or Walking Street Mistress

Soi Six or Walking Street Mistress

If you are married in Pattaya, would you choose a Walking Street Mistress or would you choose a Mia Noi from the Soi Six brothels?

Contestant Number One

She’s 25 years old. In her prime. You have met her in a go go bar on Walking Street. She likes Tequila and so do you. At first you don’t notice that she’s on the short side. She’s wearing high heels on the stage, and when she snuggles against you, the first thing you notice are her sensational breasts. The waitress asks you to buy the girl a drink. At first you are drinking beer. Like nearly all Walking Street go go girls she doesn’t want to drink beer with you. It takes too long to drink one. She’d rather have a no alcohol ladies drink because she can drink 15 or 20 of them with no problem. So her game plan is to get you to buy her as many ladies drinks as she can. She’s probably on a contract with the go go which requires her to sell 50 ladies drinks every 10 days.

The overriding goal of the go go is to EXTRACT as much money out of each customer as possible for drinks–especially ladies drinks. And I do mean EXTRACT which means nearly the same thing as Extort.

As if on Que, she starts fondling you between your legs. So you start thinking, “if I start buying her tequila she will lose all her inhibitions. Maybe I can fuck her in the toilet for peanuts. Or maybe she will blow me right here. You hardly notice that there’s a lot of male customers in the place and that you can be sure they will be watching you getting your blow job. The pretty girl has you by the balls.

Three minutes pass. The waitress returns. “Another drink for lady?” she asks. By this time your new girlfriend has drained her coca cola. Once again she refuses your offer to buy her a beer so you offer Tequila. “At least it will get her drunk,” you tell yourself. By now your bar bill has already reached 650 baht.

The waitress asks, “Can you buy me drink?” If you were Japanese, you would be polite and buy the woman a drink. But you aren’t Japanese, which means you are not entirely stupid when it comes to Walking Street games. You politely refuse which now brings on dirty trick number two.

Another girl joins you and the girl beside you who’s still stroking your dick. “Buy my sister a drink?” the girl asks.

If you were Japanese you’d buy the second girl a drink just to be polite. For that matter so would half my American friends just because they are dumb shits.

And you are not. So you tell your girl. “She not your sister. She only your friend.”

“Yes. Very good friend. Same same sister me.”

So you politely decline, telling both girls, “I only buy drink for the girl I’m fucking.”

By this time you can’t keep your eyes off her breasts. And of course she’s noticing this. She responds by drawing your hands to her breasts. Your mouth immediately follows. They are an ample mouthful and have a beautiful pointy taper.

It’s time for another tequila. You order two. They go down quickly for both of you, in one swallow. It’s time to get busy again with those gorgeous breasts.

The girl suddenly gets up, turns around, and sits on your lap with her face looking away towards the stage. But it’s time to extract still another drink from you. Her hand goes up your shorts. Once again she’s stroking your dick except this time she’s giving you a lap dance with her shapely ass rubbing back and forth across your lap. It feels almost as if you are already fucking her in the rear entry position. But you are in your sixties now. If you were still in your twenties by now you would be coming in your pants.

“This can’t go on forever,” you tell yourself. “It’s time to make a move.

“I pay you 1500 baht for short time,” you tell her.

“No. 2000 baht,” she replies.

If you were Japanese you would immediately agree to the 2000 baht. For that matter if you were Japanese she might ask you for 2500 baht. But you are not Japanese, so you tell her firmly, “I pay 1500 baht for short time.” To which she finally agrees.

It costs you another 800 baht for the bar fine. But the waitress asks you, “Do you want to pay bar short time or long time?” If you were to keep her all night long, the bar fine is 1000 baht. But you are taking her to the short time room just down the street. Your total cost is therefore 2300 baht plus the 1500 baht drink tab you now have to pay. But oh well. Chances are you might be paying that much somewhere else with or without the girl. So the fuck’s going to cost you exactly $65.71 at the exchange rate of 35 baht to the dollar. If you include the drinks it’s $108.57.

But it really costs even more. The short time room costs another 350 baht. Your total price if you include the drinks is $118.57. And just what are you getting for that?

You end up banging her four times. But it takes you  three visits to the short time room to do that. She has the perfect little body. While in the short time room the first time, you get her phone number because you are really intending to make her your Walking Street mistress. But you must admit that it would be all about sex. The first time she’s pretty good, French kissing you in the short time room and she gives you good head.

You try text messaging her a week later, to tell her you are coming again to her go go bar. But she never replies. Which is all too typical of the average good looking Walking street go go girl. You are surprised when you go back into her go go bar, has a drink by your lonesome and then she finally she joins at your table.

But you tell yourself, “Birds in the attic.  Nobody at home.  Just what the hell can I expect from a Pattaya go go girl?

After banging her the first time, the two of you go back into her go go bar to drink still more tequila together. But your are still very horny and want to do her a second time, but then you  to pay for the short time room again and you will have to pay still another 800 baht bar fine. Next time you won’t be making that mistake again.

The next time you go into the go go bar she wants 3000 baht for long time. So you offer her 2000 baht for 2 or 3 hours in the short time room while explaining to her that you aren’t a stupid tourist.

You end up  with her in the short time room for around 2 hours. First thing she does as soon as you enter the room is she turns on the t.v. to watch one of those idiotic Thai television stations.  But the picture is not very good so she turns off the t.v. and starts sending text messages on her smart phone.

You gently take it away from her. Then you have sex two times. Then it’s back to her bar for a few more tequilas. But there was none of that French kissing like there was that first time, and it isn’t until you go back to her bar and have a few tequilas that she finally starts to relax.  But that costs another 50 dollars.  It’s far cheaper to just give her Valium.

You do her the last time one week later. You take a friend along, and he meets a very attractive girl. So the two of you bar fine both girls and wind up banging the girls in short time rooms that are just down the hall from each other. You wind up being completely underwhelmed by the experience.

That’s contestant number one. She’s only about five foot tall and she weighs 40 kilos which is precisely 88 pounds. She’s a spinner but she’s got a perfect little body and you are still in love with those gorgeous breasts of hers. There’s still a chance that you  can make her yours.  Money after all can do lots of good things for a man. And who knows, once she starts to get to know you a lot better she might really start to like you. That’s cause you are one self confident mother fucker. On the other hand, you get the feelin that she really would prefer a Thai guy. After all she’s been brainwashed by the system here, and some girls, no matter what a man does, really prefers men with itty bitty 4 inch dicks.

Contestant number two

The Walking Street Mistress doesn't look like this
This is not contestant number 2. I will not take pictures of her or put them online. This is Leah Layne who was an American feature entertainer. When you think contestant number 2 think of a woman with this kind of body. Like Leah, she’s tall, she’s slender. Her body s firm to the touch. She’s all woman

She’s tall. Her height’s 167 centimeters and she weighs 49 kilos. This makes her five foot six and about 108 pounds. Her body also is just about as perfect as it gets. But when you are holding onto her, it seems like you are completely enveloped. As for her breasts, they are long with succulent nipples. Like the Walking Street girl’s breasts, they are a baby’s delight. But they are bigger and in proportion to her larger body. Unlike a lot of Thai women she has no belly whatsoever. Although she doesn’t look the same she resembles Leah Lane, in the sense that she’s got a tall statuesque body with wonderful proportions. But her breasts are all natural. There’s no silicon which means they taste all so good.

To be fair,  You have  known her off and on for about two years now. But I’d be with her two or three times, then suddenly she’d disappear, and I wouldn’t see her again for a few months. Her performance had always been first rate. I found her at Red Point so every time I’d walk past Red Point, I’d see whether or not she had returned. I haven’t been with a single Red Point girl since the last time I was with her. This is because I never saw a girl standing in front of the place, that could even begin to match her.

I was on my way to Walking Street to meet several of my friends, and as I oftentimes did I walked down Soi Six on the way down to Beach Road to get on a baht taxi simply to enjoy the scenery and to see which girls I already knew were working tonight. Suddenly I heard my name being called out, and then she suddenly appeared by my side in the middle of the street.

I had a single drink with her. Only this time I didn’t make the same mistake I had always made before. I got her phone number. And then I went down to Walking Street to join my friends and I ended up banging the go go girl who I had just text messaged.

When I saw her again, it was in a hotel room. I set the whole thing up with her. And unlike the Walking Street go go girl who couldn’t manage to reply to a single text message she were able to work out all the details of the arrangement together. I even managed to buy a few breezers and wine coolers from a 7-11 which I put in the hotel room’s fridge.

We stayed in the room together for several hours, relaxing and talking when we were not having sex. I learned that she had only worked as a sex worker in the Soi Six Bars. Her previous employment history had been at places such as Home Pro and Homart where she had worked as a sales clerk making only 7000 baht per month. That’s just $200 a month, which was not nearly enough to pay the 4000 baht she had to pay for her room, and her daughter from her irresponsible ex Thai husband who had moved onto other women.

She’s the second Soi Six girl I’ve been with who had a normal job history. I found both girls to be completely different from your typical Pattaya sex worker. For one thing, both of them had learned that they had to actually get up at a reasonable hour in the morning in order to make a living. Both of them had learned that they had to follow the orders of their superiors and to follow company rules. I found it very relaxing to be with the first, just as I would soon be finding it to be very pleasant and relaxing to be with this new girl.

There was none of this, “Buy me drink. Buy drink for sister, buy drink for mamasan, the waitress and the Soi dog lying just outside the go go bar. Both women were an entirely different breed of woman than what is found in the go go’s.

Part of the reason is their age. The first was 39 years old. The new girl’s 32. Now here’s the thing that is typical of women in their thirties compared to girls in their twenties and even younger. Older women have a sense of their mortality. They know that their shelf life is diminishing and that they don’t have many of their prime years left. So they are much more appreciative of the good things that come their way in life. Especially when it comes to men. Good men that is.

But I digress too much. It’s time to get back to this new woman. Who no doubt no longer sees herself in her prime, but I see as a nearly perfect specimen of feminity. Sex with her is inexplicably torrid. She makes me come three times. She tells me she’s come many times as we lie together calmly drinking our Bacardi breezers. I tell myself that if she hasn’t, she’s done one helluva job acting. But I have to admit that I have a terrific body as an old fart. I believe her. Who wouldn’t want to have a body like mine.

Having sex with her reminds me of the movie, the “Stefford Wives.” In the movie all the men in a small community form a men’s club. Their wives have become too demanding. And too bossy. So the men have operations performed on their wives to turn them into robots. The re-engineered wives now dote on their husbands. They clean their houses to perfection. They spend hours each day shopping for food and cooking gourmet meals for their husbands. And they perform great sex on queu. But they have become robots. They no longer have free will. They have each lost the personality that makes each woman unique and special.

This new girl will never become a robot. She will always have a mind, but what separates her from much younger girls, such as contestant number one from the Walking Street go gos is “she has a mind.” And if she’s a brilliant actress when she’s having sex with me, so what! She’s empowering my manhood and that’s what’s important.

She starts calling me every day after that first time in the hotel room. I get a hard on whenever I think about having sex with her. I have to do it with her again.

But when we do, she tells me she wants to give me a massage. She has me lying on my stomach as she works her hands from my ankles all the way up to my neck. Finally she has me lying on my back as I gaze upwards at her beautiful breasts. I can’t help from wanting to kiss her, which I do, and then I start to suck on her succulent breasts.

But I must leave. I have things to do, but she wants me to stay, so I tell her I will see her soon.

The third time, I spend just forty-five minutes with her in the short time room. She asks me if I want to have a massage. I do, but there’s too little time. I need to be somewhere else. But there’s one thing I forgot to mention about this third time. That is, I met her at 10 a.m. If I had told her I wanted to see her at 9 a.m., I’m sure she would have been there for me at 9 a.m.

Which brings us back to contestant number 1. The last two times I had sex with her I asked her what time she had gotten up that day. Both times she told me she had gotten herself out of bed at 5 o’clock in the afternoon. Sorry, but I simply do not respect people who sleep in until 5 o’clock in the afternoon. With the exception that is for hard-working people who have to work regular jobs on the night shift. I’ve been with too many Thai women who hibernate for 12 or 14 hours a day. And once back in the U.S. I had a very pretty prostitute stay with me for months on end, and I had to watch her sleep away the afternoons like a lazy cow.

I see visions before me of contestant number 2, going to the Walking Street discos after she finishing her shift trying to pick up one last short time in all those dimly lit rooms full of all those cheap charlies with shit for brains. Perhaps she’s going to those Thai Karoeke bars to be with a lot of Thai men. Many Thai bar girls do, especially young go go girls. It is common for many of them who get paid 2000 baht for short times to pay Thai men for sex in the Karoeke bars. The thought of my having to pay a girl 2000 baht for short time that she will then use to pay a Thai man for sex makes me want to puke.

Do I have any Japanese men reading any of this? How does it feel paying Walking Street go go girls 3000 or 5000 baht for sex only to have them go out and hire Thai guys to have sex with them on your dime? Hey, you guys in Nippon actually have to work hard for a living. Most of you are very well educated. All your lives you’ve had to work very hard whether it’s going to school to get a superior education, working hard in your jobs, or running the family business. I respect you guys. But if you think you are gaining face by throwing all your money around in the go go bars, think again. Most of these Walking Street go go girls have Thai boyfriends and I don’t mean the good Thai guys but the lazy kind of men who have no problem living off their girlfriends.

And the winner is

I need to wind this whole thing up. I seriously doubt if contestant number one will ever call me, and even if she did, it wouldn’t really matter. I wouldn’t put it past her to start text messaging her friends on facebook while I’m banging her in the missionary position. But I’m sure looking forward to getting my next massage from contestant number 2. Because not only will I be getting great sex. I will also be having great conversation. And I will be getting a great drinking companion to boot where the beers are just 85 to 90 baht.   Obviously a Walking Street Mistress is not in the cards.

Go go bars have become rip-off Pattaya clip joints

Pattaya clip joints are  go go bars which relentlessly pressure their customers to buy lady’s drinks at high prices.   Over the past few years Pattaya go go bars have entered a downward spiral that offer their customers the worse of all worlds.   First off, there’s the drinking experience itself in which go go dancers descend upon their customer victims like vultures whose single minded goal is to extract as many high priced drinks from each customer victim as possible.   Then there’s the sexual experience, which if there is any, is about the highest priced one can find in a city that offers so many better options.    Lastly there’s the main reason that attracts so many men to Pattaya in the first place which is to empower one’s manhood.   More often than not,  the customer feels so taken advantaged of that he feels as if he’s been de-balled.   I want to describe this form of clip joint activity in three steps. 1. How go go bars used to be run in the good old days, 2. How they are run now, and 3. What recently happened to me at a Pattaya Go Go bar that is far from Walking Street and much closer to Sois 7 and Soi 5.

The Man tour
Since coming to Thailand with the Mantour, most Pattaya go go bars have become Pattaya clip joints in which coyote bar girls are compelled to ram 50 ladies drinks down their customers throats every 10 days.

1. The way things used to be in the good old days

A few years ago, when I went to go go bars,  the basic concept of ladies drinks was to break the ice between a go go girl whose English skills were usually not very good and prospective customers wishing to buy her out of the bar. Whether in Bangkok or in Pattaya the scenario went like this.  A customer comes into the go go bar.  The girls dancing on the stage are all wearing numbers.  When the customer is interested in one of the girls he either gets her attention by motioning  her to come over and have a drink with him or he tells a waitress or the mamasan to have number 17 (for example) to join him for a drink.  The girl soon joins him for a drink.  The potential customer will then often negotiate a price with her for either short time or long time.  This was usually around 1000 baht although I’ve had a couple go go girls willing to go home with me for 500 baht.  If a waitress or mamasan entered into such discussions at all it was usually to interpret for the customer what the go go girl was telling him or explaining to the go go girl what the customer was saying. Back in those good old days, the waitresses and mamasans would typically leave the negotiated price between the customer and the girl.

This is what we looked forward to in the old days when the promises of the Man Tour experience also applied to the Pattaya go go bars.

Although Pattaya is still probably the best place to be on earth for all those boy-girl adventures we all dream about,  most go go bars have become  Pattaya clip joints.

2. In the new clip joint era of today

The customer gets absolutely the worse drinking–female companionship type of experience one can possibly imagine.   Sadly the  go go bars here have become Pattaya clip joints.  Thanks to the coyote bar girl epidemic taking over Pattaya go go bars, customers are constantly being pummeled to buy one ladies drink after another at a machine gun pace. The go go girls typically have 10 day contracts with the go go bars that require the girls to sell at least 50 ladies drinks every 10 days.  So here you are in one of the Pattaya clip joints.  You are out with several friends wanting to have a relaxing night out on the town. You probably also are wanting to take an attractive girl home with you to empower your manhood. Our tour guide told us was the best thing about Thai women when I first visited Thailand with the Man Tour was that Thai women empowered a man’s manhood.   But that was 12 years ago. Today in most of Pattaya’s go go bars the customer winds up having his manhood dismembered.  He winds up feeling humiliated while his wallet has a deep hole in it.

Here’s what happens.  Especially if he’s assessed by the mamasan or go go dancers as being new to the go go scene.   The first girl descends on him like a bird of prey.  What happens next is that either the girl, waitress, or mamasan immediately asks him to buy a ladies drink. This is typically synthetic orange juice.  Since there’s no alcohol in it the girl can easily consume practically unlimited quantities of such cheap stuff at 140 baht or more a pop.  The next step is for the mamasan or waitress to ask the victim for a ladies drink also.  Chances are the customer has ordered a beer for himself at say 140 baht so when he buys the waitress and the bar girl one ladies drink each he’s out 420 baht already.  At this point he’s only five minutes into this ball game.  So what happens next?  The go go girl’s sister makes an immediate appearance. The go go girl now asks him: “Buy drink for sister me?” Chances are the go go girl’s English is absolutely dreadful so if you think you are going to get any fun filled dialogue out of these girls, forget it.  So you buy the sister (who 90 percent of the time is not the girl’s sister) an orange juice looking ladies drink.  You are now out nearly 600 baht. The object of your fond desires now asks you for a second ladies drink. If you politely refuse she will most likely leave you within the next 10 minutes so to keep the ball game in play you comply hoping you are going to have sex with her later on.  By this time you are buying yourself a second beer or a Tequila.  Within the first 20 minutes your bar bill is over 1000 baht.  For this kind of money you could already be banging a Soi Six girl, but never mind.  If you are onto the fact that this is their ball game and not yours, you indicate to the girl, waitress or mamasan that you want to make boom boom with the girl.  Now comes the bad news. It’s before midnight.  The go go bar wants the girl to get even more ladies drinks out of suckers like you.  So her bar fine is 1500 baht.  You are also informed that you must pay at least 2000 baht just to short time the girl.  You can wait for midnight to come of course and then you will be getting this magnificent deal of getting to bar fine this vulture for just 1000 baht.  But if you stay at this go go bar until midnight chances are you will be paying a lot more than the 500 baht you would be saving by going after the cheaper bar fine.  Say you go for it and decide to bar fine her straight off.  Let’s see.  You’ve probably already run a drink tab of at least 1000 baht.  You wind up having to pay a 2000 tip to the girl for sex and you get to pay the bar a 1500 baht bar fine. So you wind up paying 4500 baht for just one hour of sex and you might just have to pay at least 300 baht for a short time room on top of all that. Your total price for having sex with this women amounts to 4800 baht which comes out to about $140.00 in American money. And if this is not bad enough, she now either can go back to the go go bar to find another sucker like you or she will go back to celebrate with her Thai boyfriend.  And trust me, over 90 % of all Pattaya go go girls have Thai boyfriends.

3. In the go go bar that’s between Soi 5 and Soi 7.

You can take the girls to an upstairs room for 500 baht here.  So the convenience here is much better than it is down on Walking Street. There’s also no bar fine per se.  Which is a big plus.  Over one year ago I banged my first and only go go girl from this particular establishment.  The girl asked 1000 baht for short time sex. But when I pointed out to her that the price of the room was 200 baht too high compared to the competition I got her to ask me just 800 baht for her tip.  But a few months after that I heard that this go go bar was charging 1500 baht for bar fines.  So I later asked the go go bar owner what the club’s policy was on bar fines and what I must pay to have sex with the girls. I understood the man to tell me that customers had to pay 500 baht to use the upstairs rooms, but as for what the go go girls got for their “tips” this was a matter that was strictly between them and their customers.  So–if a girl was happy with getting 1000 baht from me such as the girl I had taken upstairs before, that was fine with this go go bar owner.

Several weeks later, I had one of the girls drinking with me. I offered her 1000 baht to have sex with her. And if she didn’t speak English well enough to understand me, I made it very clear that I’d be paying the bar 500 baht for the room upstairs and 1000 baht to her by making repeated hand signals and gestures towards her and the upstairs. She agreed to my offer so I told the mamasan that I was paying my bill and bar fining the girl. The mamasan then presented me a bill that included the girl’s tip at 2000 baht. “No, No, No.” I told the mamasan. “I pay the girl. We already decide on my tip for boom boom.” This is unacceptable to the mamasan who insists that I must pay the bar instead of the girl for sex. So I tell the mamasan, “Big boss tell me that I pay tip to the girl. Girl and I already decide how much I must pay her. Let me speak to the owner.”
“Owner not here now,” the mamasan tells me. You pay this much, which she’s showing me on my bin.” “Okay. I not take lady,” I tell the mamasan. I pay only my bin for drinks (which is about 1000 baht). I end up settling my bar bill of 1000 baht and promptly leave the place.

Two weeks later. There’s a shapely go go girl I’m attracted her who’s nearly five feet eight inches tall.  I’m pretty hot on her.  She’s sat with me a couple of times before.  Only a few days ago, I had talked to the bar owner again–this time about the incident where a mamasan horned in on my 1000 baht arrangement with one of his girls.  “Oh, we have a 1500 baht minimum” he told me.  This is because when a girl charges less for her tip the other girls get angry with her.  So to eliminate this problem all the girls must now charge at least 1500 baht.  I want the tall girl  so I’ve made up my mind that I will tip her 1500 baht.

As soon as I enter the go go bar another girl takes me inside and she’s very pretty.  But about the time the girl sits next to me, the tall girl comes up to us.  I  tell the new girl  “I love her too much,” while pointing at the 172 centimeter tall girl.  The new girl immediately backs off which leaves me with the object of my fondest desires. Billy Bob’s with me also and I’ve already told him, “I got a bad feeling about this one. I will pay her 1500 baht and not one baht more.  I think this is just another one of Pattaya clip joints.  Just like the ones on Walking Street.

Right off the girl asks me to buy her a tequila and an orange.

“What?” I ask her. You want two drinks? One orange and one tequila?

“No. Together,” she tells me.

I’m totally confused. Is she having a little orange mixed with her tequila?” I ask myself. “Because surely she’s not so greedy as to ask me to pay for two drinks at the same time.  This place is certainly starting to smell like all those other Pattaya clip joints ”

But I’m wrong. She’s that greedy. I order for myself a bottle of beer. My bar bill’s already 441 baht. I gotta get busy.

“You must sell 50 drinks in 10 days,” I ask her.

“Yes.”

“Bingo.”  Now I’m 100 percent certain that this is just another example of the  Pattaya clip joints that is ruining this city.  I got a coyote bar girl in my lap now,” I tell myself. “The number one species of vultures of all vultures here in Pattaya. That explains this place now.”

“So, if I buy you one ladies drink for 140 baht you keep the entire 140 baht?” I ask her.

“No. I sell 51 drinks then I get blah blah blah blah.”

I”m totally confused now. And I really don’t care. She’s a vulture and that’s all there is to it.

“I want another drink”

“Not yet. I want boom boom you. I give you 1500 baht short time. Okay?

“I want 2000 baht.”

“1500 baht. Okay. Other men in bar are tourists. I am khun Thai. I get discount so I pay you 1500 baht.”

I now pull out my wallet and show her my Thai driver’s license. “See, khun Thai. Not tourist.”

By now the waitress arrives to charge me for my drinks and bar fine. The waitress tells me, “You must pay her 2000 baht.”

“If she agrees with me for 1500 baht this is okay with Big Boss I tell the waitress. And this time the owner is there right across the room from us. I mention his name to the waitress.

“He not big boss,” the waitress tells me.

“Well who is?” I tell myself. Certainly not his Thai girlfriend. It is this falang who is paying the bills and not his destitute Thai girlfriend. But so it is with most of these Thais. Falang only must pay money. He have no rights. Dog is more important than him.”

The deal is off. This one’s a greedy bitch. Her ordering two drinks at the same time proves it. Would she have gone upstairs with me for 1500 baht had the waitress not interfered? Who knows. Call it 50-50. I tell the girl that I will be boom booming someone else within the next hour or so and that I will be paying the girl just 1000 baht.

She says: “You angry with me?”

“No,” I tell her. “Not angry. You very pretty lady but I never even pay as much as 1500 baht. I not same same as other customers in this bar”

So I leave and Billy Bobs still with me. Except I forgot to mention something. I’ve just done a huge favor for Billy Bob and he’s so happy that he’s already offered to pay for my boom boom with the tall lady. I had told Billy Bob that I would accept his offer but that I’d never pay the tall go go girl 2000 baht. Billy Bob then said it didn’t matter. He’d gladly pay 2000 baht for my boom boom. Or even more.

But I gots my pride. Billy Bob and I move onto another bar. It’s on Soi Six.

A pretty girl greets me at the bar entrance. She’s short whereas the go go girl was very tall for a Thai woman at just under five foot eight. This one’s barely over my waist. But she’s cute, and already she’s cuddling up next to me. Right off she gets me a beer and doesn’t even ask me for anything for herself. Within five minutes she’s massaging my dick and here she hasn’t even asked me for a drink.

I get her a drink. Because she deserves one. Plus, I will probably be boom booming her pretty soon so I want her to have enough alcohol in her so that she really feels like empowering my manhood. We have a couple drinks together while I’m getting this wonderful massage right where it counts, plus she’s kissing me all over my face. But such is life n the promised land.  This place is certainly not one of those infamous Pattaya clip joints

I take her upstairs, but so far I’ve only had to pay the 300 baht room charge that goes to the bar plus the drinks. She’s happy with my promise to pay her 1000 baht. She takes a shower in the room, then I take a shower. When I come out of the shower she’s already lying in the bed with her legs wide open inviting me in.

When we finally go back downstairs together Billy Bob’s still sitting where we had left him.

“Been waiting for long?” I ask Billy Bob.

“Only an hour and fifteen minutes,” he replies.

“You gotta be shitting me.”

“No. It might have even been longer.”

“We must have tried just about every position, and not just once but twice. And you know what, Billy Bob? I was thinking you the entire time. This means so much to me your paying for this fuck. I will treasure this moment for the rest of my life.”

That last example of the go go epidemic of Pattaya clip joints ripped me off for the last time. I’d rather go to a beer bar every time. Even if the girls are butt ugly, they are happy just to have me get them just one drink. And oftentimes they are massaging my back or legs while we are drinking together. Drinks are typically 90 baht. I even know of one beer bar where the gin and tonics are just 60 baht. And as for the Soi Six bars? Most of them are about 90 baht for a bottle of beer. And you aren’t getting high pressured to buy girls all those drinks. The goal of most of the girls on Soi Six is to convince you to take them upstairs as soon as they can get you in the mood. And once they do get you up there, their next goal is to make you so happy that you will be coming back to them again and again. So my advice to all of you reading these words of advice is to leave all the go go bars alone. With the possible exception that is when go go bar 1. Does not persistently hound you with all those coyote girl vultures and 2. Leaves it entirely between you and the girl what you agree on for her tip if you short time or long time her.

The Sequel to the go go bar between Sois 5 and 7

If one calls me a cheap charlie for tipping the first girl just 800 baht over a year ago, I have this to say. First…..After boom booming her several weeks later I sat at the bar alone where she joined me. I bought her a couple of drinks. Then I told her I was heading out to Walking Street. But she sat there in my arms, happy to be having a drink or two and in my company. Then she disappeared. Later when I was carousing with Billy Bob from one Walking Street go to to another a rather wholesome girl yelled out my name in the middle of Walking Street. So I walked back to her. The girl asked me to join her at a new go go in Walking Street she had just started working for. She looked very familiar to me, and she was just, nice. Not at all like most go go girls. I told her I’d see her soon and then Billy Bob and I went into Super Girls. I had just one beer there as I pondered where I had known the mystery girl from. And then it had dawned on me. She was the go go girl I had once boom boomed for 800 baht. After having just one beer at Super Girls I went joined my friend at the new go go bar where we had a few drinks together. She was having a birthday party the next week and I promised to visit her on her birthday. But when I went the next week, I never saw her at the bar. She was nice. Very nice. But when I asked her about why she had stopped working at the go go bar where I had boom boomed her she told me that she didn’t like the bar owner.  This girl was about as straight a girl as you will find in a go go bar.  So I figured she didn’t like working in the Pattaya clip joints

We now go back to only a couple of weeks ago. The tall girl had a sister working with her at her go go, which was complete bullshit I think. Anyways, we were all in that place together and two girls were sitting with Billy Bob and me. I had way too much tequila that night and so had the girl who was sitting with me. We were all sittin in front of this long stage where several girls were dancing in front of the long couch we were all sitting on. The sister got so drunk on tequila that she kept pulling my dick out of my shorts and showing it off to the girls dancing in front of us. But when I offered to take the girl upstairs, she refused. In fact she didn’t even offer me a price. Not 1000 baht. Not 2000 baht or even 5000 baht. She only told me that she hated the mamasan. So she and the girl sitting with Billy Bob started talking up a party to be held in my condo building. They were from Sattahip or Ban Serai. I figured this wasn’t going to be happening because it was a long say from Sattahip and my condo. But brother, was I wrong. Three times those two girls came to my condo building looking for me. And I can guarantee I’d be boom booming the girl who had kept playing with my dick for 1000 baht. And not just for short time. I mean long time. Anyways I don’t go around bringing just any girl up to my condo. That’s my private castle. So I wound up giving the entire thing a pass. And now I think both girls are over working upstairs at the Windmill down on Walking Street.

I have never seen a customer ever take a girl upstairs in that go go girl those girls used to work for. Not since I took that girl up there for 800 baht over a year ago. The place is  a one of many go go Pattaya clip joints.  And the smarter and more honorable girls know it. They aren’t likely to be staying there for very long.

Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans raping go go dancers part 2.

I am accusing these avaricious Pattaya Mamasans of raping the go go dancers. But I am not accusing these greedy bitches of raping you, dear customer, because you have freedom of choice whereas the girls don’t.

Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans
Money Number One by Neil Hutchison. Tourists who wish to find female companionship in Pattaya should not be allowed to get off the plane in Bangkok until they have read this book at least twice. It is the Bible to surviving being fleeced by Pattaya bar girls

Most tourists will not read this book. Money Number One and similar books should be required reading for all tourists before they are even allowed to enter Thailand. Unfortunately most tourists seem to know everything and deserve what they get from conniving bar girls

If you are Japanese, and you are going to the Pattaya go go bars with your friends, you are probably an idiot.  But don’t think for one minute that I am picking on you or that I despise Japanese because I don’t.  In fact, I think that most tourists visiting Pattaya go go bars looking for sex are complete morons because they think they know everything.  Most of them also are totally uninterested in learning from expats such as myself or reading such definitive books about Pattaya bar girls such as Neil Hutchison’s Money Number One.    But most of you Japanese are a special case because you try too hard to be polite.  If Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans tell you to pay the girls 3000 baht for short time sex, you agree to it because you don’t like confrontation.  If Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans ask you to buy 3000 baht for 25 ping pong balls that you can throw at the girls, you pay it because you think this is expected of you.  Well, I’m telling you Japanese this.  “Who gives a shit about what Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans expect of you or what greedy go go dancers expect you to pay.  You’ve worked hard for your money.  You are smart guys.  At least you are until you walk into all these go go bars like a herd of sheep walking into the slaughter pen.

part 1

The second point I want to make with you Japanese is this.  Perhaps you think it’s cool to be throwing all your hard earned money at these girls.  And if you think this is amusing to the other men in your group, most Westerners view such behavior with total contempt.  We see you as the unwitting victims of all those worthless Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans, who are laughing at all of you behind your backs.   On the whole Western men value getting a good deal.  Or at least they take pride in making business arrangements that is fair to both sides.

Until they come to Pattaya as tourists looking for romance or sex.  But you Japanese have a good excuse.  Whereas Western tourists don’t.  Especially it they have good English skills.  For that matter even German tourists have a rich source of great information available to them in German and English.  For example, Money Number One is also available to them in English.  Also keep in mind that most Germans who come to Pattaya have good English skills.  Unfortunately the majority of you Japanese don’t.

Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans
Money Number one is also available in German. Unfortunately for you, Japanese it isn’t. So unlike Americans, British, Australians and most Europeans you really don’t have an established guidelines that can keep you from being victimized by predatory mamasans, bar owners and bar girls.

But I am digressing from my whole story line about these Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans so it’s time to move on.  But before getting back to the two girls from Bangsaray-Sattahip I’m going to take you back to one year ago, when I met a really nice gal in this same go go bar and wound up banging her.

ONE YEAR AGO AT THIS SAME GO GO BAR

I met a girl in this same go go bar about 1 year ago.  She wanted 1000 baht to go short time with me in the room upstairs.  When I pointed out to her, that the go go was charging 500 baht for the short time room and bar fine whereas all the other bars nearby were charging just 500 baht for their short time rooms and I was banging all the other girls for 800 baht, she agreed to go short time with me for 800  baht.  Two weeks later, I saw her once again, but I only bought the two of us a couple of drinks as I sat at the bar with her in my arms. The next time I saw her was on Walking Street.  I was walking up the street with Billy Bob, from Crazy House go go to Supergirls then she called out my name.  We stood in the middle of the street together where she asked me to join her a  new bar.  I promised her that after I had a drink or two at Supergirls I’d join her at the new go go bar.  I remembered her. She was so familiar.  And so nice.  Almost wholesome and completely unlike most bar girls.  While drinking my beer at Supergirls it suddenly came back to me.  She was the same girl from that central Pattaya go go bar near Soi 4.  I finished my beer and said goodbye to Billy Bob.  And then I went over to the new bar where I spent two or three hours with her.  All we did was drink, and hold each other’s hands.  Innocent stuff like that.  But the place was so new, she didn’t even know what the bar fine was, and it turned out hardly anyone else did either.  She told me that she had big problems back at her old go go bar with either the club owner or the mamasan and that’s why she had come to Walking Street.  She had a birthday coming up in a week and I promised to come see her on her birthday.  I would have even brought her a gift, but when I went, she wasn’t there.   And she still wasn’t there when I came in much later and sat with other girls.  I think the bar fine was 1600 baht.  This did not include a tip for the girl.  I never went back again.

BACK TO THE PRESENT WITH THE
TWO  BANGSARAY-SATTAHIP GIRLS

The two Pattaya go go girls are coming all the way out from Sattahip looking for Billy Bob and me at our Naklua condo.  Meanwhile Billy Bob and go back to the same go go bar where we found the two women.  But they aren’t there.  Once again we are sitting at that long couch in front of a long stage.  One of the girls tells me, “I am older sister, girl you see before.  They have day off.”

“Older sister my ass!”  How many times have I heard that one before?  But who cares?  There’s several other good lookers here tonight and the clock’s running.

In no time, we are joined by two go go dancers Billy Bob and I have never seen before.  To make this part of my story short, after a few tequilas with the girl who’s now sitting on my lap, I come out with it.  500 baht for room upstairs?”  I ask her while pointing upstairs.  1000 baht for you.  Boom boom.  Okay?”  Then to make certain there is no misunderstanding, I stick my finger gently into her bosom, and tell her in Thai.  “Pu Ying boom boom.  “Neune pan baht ha roy”.  (1500 baht). Then I quickly move my arms apart from each other to signify “altogether or total price I must pay.  Then to make sure she understands, I point to my own pocket while telling her Neun pan baht.  I then point towards the upstairs and once again tell her ha roy baht which means 500 baht.  I tell her bar, then room in English.   Then I ask her in Thai, “Do you understand?”  She tells me yes.

I waive a waitress over to us.  “Check Bin,” I tell her in Thai.  Then I tell the waitress, I pay bar fine.  “Ha roy baht  I pay lady for boom boom” as I point at the girl.

I follow the waitress up to the bar.  While looking at the ticket I see that I need to pay 1000 baht for all the tequila the girl and I have been drinking.  So I tell the waitress, “neune pan ha roy baht.  ha roy baht bar fine, 1000 baht for tequila.”  Suddenly the mamasan appears.  Taking my ticket from the waitress she starts writing on it 2500 baht.

“No mamasan.  I pay 1000 baht for drink.  500 baht bar fine (room upstairs).    Lady and I agree I pay her, not bar, for boom boom.”

“No No no.  You pay this,” she tells me while showing me the prices she’s written on the ticket.

“Up to me and lady, what I must pay for boom boom. ”

But mamasan isn’t listening.

“Okay.  Get Bill.  He own bar.  I talk to him.”

“He not here now.  I am mamasan.  You pay this.”

“No problem then,” I tell the mamasan.  Deal’s off.  I only pay for drink.  I no pay for short time.”

The mamasan changes the ticket to read 1000 baht.  I pay the bin and leave the go go bar with Billy Bob.

One question I have is, why is the mamasan so insistent on my paying the bar instead of the girl direct in the form of a tip we’ve agreed upon?  The girl from Bangsaray-Sattahip absolutely refused to have sex with me in the go go bar short time room.  It wasn’t my offering to pay her 1000 baht either.  She had not even counter offered.  She never asked me to pay 3000 baht, or 2500 baht, 2000 baht or 1500 baht.  Yet she and her friend had come all the way from  Bangsaray-Sattahip so that they could deal directly with Billy Bob and me.

It turns out, however, that the same two girls came to our condo a second time.  One of the girls had a motorbike, the other didn’t.  So it turns out that “my girl” the one who had the motorbike was the ride of the second girl who had been with Billy Bob.

But as I had mentioned in part 1 of my story, I never bring bar girls to my condo.  I won’t give my reasons here.  I just don’t.  But Billy Bob, now he has other ideas on this subject.  So on this second time the girls came to our condo, Billy Bob took them to a restaurant.  Then he took them both into his condo and drank with them for a couple of hours.

The two girls had to work together so they went down to Walking Street where Billy Bob joined them later.  They had already started working at another go go bar.  Billy Bob went upstairs to drink with them in Windmill go go where he found the bar fine had gone down from 1500 baht to 1000 baht because it was after midnight.

So here’s what I am thinking.  The greedy mamasan caused both girls to quit the go go bar that’s near Soi 4 in Central Pattaya to seek employment on Walking Street instead.  Although I can’t prove it, I believe the greedy mamasan is getting a big tip or commission on the tips the go go dancers are getting from their customers.  So if I pay a girl 1000 baht direct for short time sex in the room upstairs, the girl is getting 100 percent of her money.  The bar still makes 500 baht for the short time room rental upstairs and it’s making a lot of money on the high drink prices it’s charging its customers.

So for instance, a Japanese customer comes into this go go bar, and he wants to take a girl upstairs.  The mamasan puts on his ticket 500 baht for the room and 2500 baht short time which is 3000 baht altogether.  What’s probably happened is the mamasan tells the girl, “I’ll get 1500 baht for you which probably more than you would be getting if I didn’t help you considering all the beer bar girls just up the street from us are only getting 1000 baht.  But the mamasan is pocketing 1000 baht from the hapless Japanese tourist who is too polite to argue.

It so happens that in the go go bar near Soi 4 in Central Pattaya could be getting a lot of expat business if the Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans allowed them to set their own prices with their customers.   There is no way that most expats (men who actually live here in Pattaya full time) are going to pay 2000 to 3000 baht long time when they can go just up the street from a go go bar and get the same sex for just 1000 baht.    Sure, it gives a go go girl big face when she can go out and brag to her friends that she’s getting 2500 or 3000 baht short time.  The reality is that tourist numbers have recently declined to less than half of what it was so all of these high dollar go go dancers with their big faces are just not getting bar fined very often.

If the go go bars hope to stay in business, they must face up to this reality.   1000 baht for short time is the magic number for what men should pay for sex in Pattaya.  And any man who pays more is a fool.  Unless, however, he is giving money for a girl whose looks are a 10 out of a 10.

part 1

 

 

Greedy Pattaya Mamasans force go go girls to charge too much part 1

Greedy Pattaya Mamasans are now preying on their go go girls and customers  so much that the bar girls are moving on to greener pastures.

Greedy Pattaya Mamasans
You can get these girls for 1000 baht short time if you follow my good advice

I am therefore asking everyone who reads this post to be real men and never cave into paying more than 1000 baht for short time sex to any Pattaya bar girl.  Paying more is not only fool hardy.  It’s also disastrous to the bar girls  themselves.   So I must now warn everyone about how Greedy Pattaya Mamasans are ruining the Pattaya go go bars  for everyone, including the bar girls.

I have laid down a challenge to two of my fellow Pattaya expats that I can get Pattaya go go girls to do short times with me for 1000 baht.  They’ve told me, “That’s impossible.  Times have changed.  There’s been a lot of inflation since you used to be able to short time over 50 % of the dancers at Supergirls go go for 1000 baht.  Go go dancers now expect 2000-2500 for short time sex.  I say bullshit.  Perhaps you have to pay that, but that’s because you think you have to.  But I’m Uncle Bufford.  I can get away with paying just 1000 baht because I know I can.  You can’t because you are not like me at all.

So last week I stopped in at a certain go go bar.  This place IS NOT ON WALKING STREET.  It’s close to Soi 4 in Central Pattaya.  I went in with Billy Bob and sat at a long couch in front of the stage with Billy Bob.  It took only five minutes for a chubby dancer to ask me if she could sit with me.  I politely refused.   After all, why should I allow a fat bar girl to monopolize my time when I can be with much better looking babes?  And why should I buy a sex worker drinks when I have a much better body that she has?  As for sex, if it ever would come to that, she should be paying me.  Even if I’m an old fart.

Billy Bob and I decide it’s better to drink alone.  Ten minutes later two attractive girls who are dancing on the long stage practically in front of our noses ask us if they can join us.  They do, and before long I’m drinking tequilas with one of them.  She’s in my lap.  After a couple of tequilas she’s  sliding her hand up my shorts.  She wants me.  No.  I want a lot more than her hand, and I know there’s a short time room upstairs.

But she won’t go.  “I hate mamasan,” the girl tells me.  She doesn’t say it exactly like that because her English is not all that terrific.  But I understand her to mean:  “I don’t want to deal with these greedy Pattaya  mamasans who are going to give me a lot of problems if I go upstairs with you for only 1000 baht.”

After several more tequilas, both girls tell us they want to go to our condo in Naklua in two days to party with Billy Bob and me.  My girl tells me, “Tomorrow I have day off”.  But I’m not about to give her my phone number and I’m busy the next day.   As for their coming to Naklua to party with us, I tell Billy Bob:  “That will never happen. My girl tells me she lives in Sattahip. That’s 30 kilometers away.

My girl will absolutely not go with me to the short time room upstairs.  She won’t go for 1000 baht.  She probably won’t even go for 2000 baht. She hates mamasan that much.

But two days later, Billy Bob tells me.  The girls came to our condo yesterday.  All the way from Bangsaray.  They even put pictures of the front of our condo building and put them on Facebook.  “But I had to go somewhere else.  So I didn’t have time to let them come up to my condo.”

As I keep telling my friends.  Most of these go go dancers are not getting bar fined.  The greedy mamasans and go go bar owners are setting their bar fines, short time sex and long time prices far too high.  I can get  a lot of these go go girls to have sex with me for 1000 baht.  The trouble is, I will never have them come to my condo (for reasons I won’t get into here).  Only the Japanese and shit for brains tourists who don’t know any better are stupid enough to pay 2000-3000 baht for short time sex.

Obviously these two go go girls from Sattahip or Bangsaray have proven my point.  They want to get something going with me and Billy Bob outside their go go bar, and if you won’t believe me, it’s time for you to move onto part 2 about how all these greedy Pattaya mamasans are ruining the entire Pattaya go go bar experience.

click here to read part 2

 

The Thailand Naklua Pen Bar 10 year anniversary Dance-a-thon Video

Live music at the Naklua Pen Bar
From 7:30 until 1 a.m. live music ran non stop

The Thailand Naklua Pen Bar is celebrating its 10 year anniversary.  Tonight there’s live music and the girls are dancing.

The food was good and two of my buddies were drinking with me, one Austrian, the other British.  I started with Gin and Tonics but I was going through them very fast, and I could see my bin piling up with tickets.  This was going to be an expensive evening especially since I was buying several of the girls drinks.   No matter.  The Naklua Pen Bar doesn’t have its ten year anniversary every day.  And I wouldn’t miss this party for the world.  And it’s all because of Pen, who’s also having her annual birthday.

In England they call the hangouts for the locals pubs.  In my part of the U.S. we call them taverns.  In Pattaya Thailand we call it the Pen Bar.  That’s because all our favorite local bars have closed their doors or gone to seed.

Malai Bar never was the same after Eddie sold it to someone who had no clue on how to run a bar.  Then it closed.  It can be seen in the background of this video, vacant.  The Girl Beer Bar was the greatest place around with lots of pretty girls always around. Good music too.  But then the German owners had a falling out or that’s what I had heard.  As for Drinking Street, I’ve got lots of you tube videos that attest to how good it used to be there.  But most of the girls there have gotten to be fat and unattractive.  And Mam left, then Kwan.

But the Naklua Pen bar has been a steady watering hole of mine for ten years now.  Most of the bars near it are doing very badly.  Many have closed.  But Pen’s always got customers.  It’s Pen who’s made the big difference.

Pen used to be a bar girl.  She’s a straight shooter who will never overcharge a customer or tell him stories the way 90 percent of the bar girls do and nearly all the Thai bar owners and mamasans.  I now understand why Saint Thomas loved her bar so much.

Saint Thomas used to rent a condo on the 7th floor of my building.  He lived here full time for about a year,and during that year he bar fined something like 25 bar girls from Pen’s bar.  Then he moved back to the U.S., but he kept making visits to Naklua every three months or so.  He’d email me to tell Pen that he was coming to Pattaya on a certain night, and that she should stay open late, just for him.  He’d not even bother checking into his hotel first.  He’d just have the taxi driver from Bangkok take him straight to the Naklua Pen Bar, and he’d drop his bags off right next to his table where he’d start drinking right off.  Around three or four in the morning, he’d have Pen or her nephew drop him and his bags off at his hotel.

But tonight it was Rod’s turn.  Rod doesn’t own a motorcycle yet or a car because he hasn’t quite moved here full time quite yet.  So he took a taxi to meet us at the Naklua Pen Bar tonight.  Around 3 a.m. he had just about enough to drink, and was about to go out looking for a taxi.  So I advised him to have Pen get one of her bar girls to take him back to his condo on her motorcycle.  Which one of the girls did.  She was back at the bar ten minutes later.

And that’s how the Naklua Pen Bar gets so many loyal customers.

Links to other Naklua Pen Bar Videos

Tri and Pai, two of our favorite Girl Beer Bar Girls cut up at the Pen Bar

Per and Jack get marooned at the Pen Bar by unrelenting rain where they are molested by rampaging bar girls

bar-girl-videos

 

Bangkok Soi Cowboy go go action

How does the Go Go Bar Bangkok Soi Cowboy action compare to Pattaya Walking Street for girl quality, price, and overall ambiance.  I’d like to say, I had to find out.  I’d love to tell all you guys that Uncle Bufford is alive and doing well as he tries his damnest to bring you all that Soi Cowboy go go action up close and personal so you can experience all those luscious Thai babes vicariously.  But I can’t.  Going to Soi Cowboy was purely an afterthought.  My primary mission to Bangkok was to go to Little Japan to meet a very good Japanese friend of mine.  So Soi Cowboy go go action was purely coincidental to my main mission which was to be a true friend to a man I’d known for over forty years.

Soi Cowboy go go action
Soi Cowboy at Night

If it had been up to me, I probably would never have gone to Bangkok in the first place.  Until I got that email telling me, “I need to come to Bangkok on business. Can you meet me? I’ll even pay for your hotel room.”.  I jumped at the chance to meet up with my old pal from Nippon.  But there was no way I’d allow him to pay for my hotel room.  But I did allow him to book my hotel room.

As my taxi driver started to get close to the hotel I started to notice that there were a lot of Japanese restaurants in the area.  When I went up to the room, I noticed that nearly all the hotel guests were Japanese.  I’d later be informed by one of the hotel’s employees that over 80 percent of its customers were Japanese.  I was starting to love the place already.  As for my friend, he was far from the hotel over three hours away on his business appointment and I’d not see him until the next day.  So here I had a lot of time on my hands. My first priority was food.  My second priority was to find all that Soi Cowboy Action that I had been told was likely to be walking distance from my hotel.  But I’m Uncle Bufford, and action’s a lot more important to me than food, so long as I have just enough food to get by.

So how do I get to Soi Cowboy?  Do I take a taxi or should I try the Sky Train.  But taxis except for when they are absolutely necessary are for wimps.  Although the Skytrain was nearby I wasn’t really used to using it.  And if I took it, I wouldn’t get to see much on the way to Soi Cowboy.  It would take me nearly half an hour to walk to Soi Cowboy.  I’d wind up walking back to my hotel hoping to get together with my friend.  And when that didn’t work out I walked back to Soi Cowboy looking for wimmen and beer, and then back again to my hotel at 3 a.m.  I must have walked two hours, which is something most of you readers wouldn’t even attempt.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.  So I’m going to take my Bangkok adventure one step at a time.

Four Wing Hotel is  located down Soi 26 from Sukamvit.  I will call this area from Sukamvit to the hotel along Soi 26 as Little Japan.   About three blocks from the hotel are a couple of streets where I found a number of Japanese restaurants. I’ll go there one day because I like Japanese food, but tonight I had business to take care of.  I passed the Japanese restaurants up looking for a Family Mart or Seven Eleven.  It’s like being in the military.   I’d eat on the run, and I wouldn’t eat a lot because too much food would slow me up. About one one block before I came to Sukamit I noticed a street that ran at an angle to my left.  Seeing a few massage parlors on this little street I decided to check the situation out.  I soon came to Sukamvit so I took a left and started walking in the direction the hotel bellhop told me to go. But the go go bars were a lot further than I had thought.   I had to stop once or twice to get directions.   My last stop was at a massage parlor that was attended by a single woman who was in her late thirties or early forties.   I was tempted to give her a whirl but passed after getting directions from the woman.   On the way I stopped at a Seven Eleven where I bought a tuna fish salad sandwich and a Snickers chocolate bar.  That was my dinner and I ate both on the last leg of my walk.   After crossing to the other side of Sukamvit I found the street the massage lady told me to look for and found Soi Cowboy a couple of blocks down Sukamvit.   But it was about six p.m. so the go go bars hadn’t gotten a good start yet.  But a few beer bars intermixed among the go go’s were ready for action and several of the bar girls tried to get me to join them for a drink.  But I know myself too well. Realizing that once I started on the bar scene here,  I wouldn’t feel like leaving it for at least six hours and that would mean there would be no hope of connecting with my Japanese friend once he got back to the hotel from his business appointment . I was figuing he’d be getting back to the hotel around eight or so. I headed back towards the hotel.

Taking a taxi would have done me no good.   At five p.m. the traffic was godawful on Sukamvit and here it was past six and it was still terrible.   I noticed that there had been a lot of Japanese men on Soi Cowboy.   With the exception of Thais it seemed to me that nearly everyone on that stretch of Sukamvit was Japanese which suited me just fine. I almost felt like I was back in Tokyo.  So if you are Japanese and you are reading this episode, by now you know that I’m a lot more pro-Japan than against, and that I really have a keen appreciation of Japanese people in general.  I just don’t like the fact that Japanese men are paying far too much money for Thai go go girls, and that this is making go go bars very unappealing for any man who does not want to be taken advantage of.

Eventually I arrived back on that little diagonal street where I had seen all those massage parlors.  I spotted two places that were across the Soi from each other and decided to give one of them a try.  Several girls asked me if I want a massage so I walked over to them and asked them what they were charging for a Thai massage.

One of them, replied, “400 baht.”

“You must be kidding me,”  I responded.  I live in Pattaya and in Pattaya it’s just 200 baht for a Thai massage.”

The girl answered, “But here, not same.”

I went over to the massage parlor across the soi where I was immediately ushered inside by several of the girls.  I was immediately invited to sit down and asked what I went to drink.  I ordered a beer, and then the manager came over to me.  She handed me a price list of what kind of massages were being offered and at what prices, and then she directed every girl the place to come over to where I was sitting. There were six or eight girls.  Two or three of them were pretty good looking.  And by what I mean “good looking”  is far more attractive than what you are going to find at most massage parlours in Pattaya which are now filled for the most part by old hags.  This whole scene reminded me of those ranches or bordellos out in the Nevada desert where all the prostitutes parade in front of the prospective Johns, thus giving them a choice from all the girls who are available.

A Japanese man was brought over to the seat next to me and given a menu to choose from.  I noticed that  two time periods  were specified on the menu–45 minutes and 1 hour. I told the mamasan I was really Thai and that I wanted the Thai price.  She told me, I’d get everything during my massage which meant full service.  Then she pointed at the column for the 1 hour massages.  I think the price was 1800 baht, but the column listing the 45 minute massages showed a price of 1600 baht.  The mamasan indicated that I’d be getting a full hour with the girl of my choice for the 45 minute price.   Then she put her finger to her lips to indicate that I should keep my mouth shut and not tell the Japanese next to me that I was getting a lower price than he’d be getting.

It was difficult choosing between two girls in particular. So I chose one, paid the mamasan 1600 baht and followed the girl to a short time room. In the shower as we started to wash each other’s bodies I noticed that the girl had very large breasts. So I asked her: “Silicon?”

“Ka.”

“Falang buy for you?”

“I buy by myself.”

They were the largest breasts I had encountered in quite a spell. Normally I prefer girls with small tits or even no tits. After all, for me, it’s what’s in the box that counts. But here I was face to face with the largest tits I ever remember feeling on a Thai woman before.

The massage was good. Massages are always good. And then it was time for us to do our business. Had I wanted to, I really think that the girl would have kept me in that room for much longer than one hour. But I was wanting to get back to my hotel to see if my friend had returned. But one I got back to my room I found out that I had just missed him. A message was waiting for me that read, “I go out with someone from India.” Now that I couldn’t fathom. Perhaps my friend had a mia noi who happened to be from India. For perhaps this was another business contact with him. Or just someone he had met at the hotel and the two of them had decided to go to a restaurant. But no matter. I was going to go back to Soi Cowboy.

Soi Cowboy go go action
Bangkok Go Go girls

By the time I had walked back, the Soi Cowboy go go action had picked up considerably. My first stop was the Lighthouse, mainly because Pattaya Walking Street also had a lighthouse and that’s were we often will have a couple two for one happy hour drinks. Here at the Soi Cowboy Lighthouse, my beer runs me 160 baht. I am immediately accosted by a decent looking girl so I buy her a Tequila. But no sooner than she gulps it down, does she tell me, “I have to go up to the stage and dance.”

“Well…so much for that. Obviously this place is everybit as bad as the Lighthouse on Walking Street where the sole object of the game is to fleece all the male patrons of as much money as possible while giving back the absolute minimum in return. I can’t wait to get out of this clip joint, gulp my beer down and pay my bin without even giving the girl a glance.

My next stop’s at the Dundee Bar. This is a pretty boring place or at least it is tonight. I sit down, order a beer, and a girl comes up to ask me to buy her a drink. I send her away cause she’s just not meeting my standards. But later I am joined by another girl so I ask her what it’s going to cost me for short time sex. I thnk she tried to tell me the bar fine was 3000 baht. But I’m not really sure. So I tell her about Soi Six in Pattaya and how I get the room, the girl and barfine all in one for 1300 baht. But she’s not having any of that so she winds up leaving me alone with my beer which suits me just fine.

I don’t get very far once I leave that go go for the next. A pretty girl is standing outside the Toy Bar, which at first appears to be a beer bar. She invites me in for a beer, telling me it’s just 110 baht for a bottle. Such a low price persuades me to have at least one beer in the place. What she doesn’t tell me is that her lady’s drink is going to cost me 200 baht so when you add the two prices together it comes to 310 baht which is about the same as you will paying in most go go bars where it’s usually around 150 or 160 for the beer and another 150 or 160 for the lady’s drink. Anyways, this girl is really something. She’s got a body to die for. I think I’d come even before I achieved full entry. But nevermind, I’m Uncle Bufford and I’m on a mission and that’s to cover as many go go bas here as possible.

The girl and I sit down at a small table next to a small stage. A girl is dancing right next to us and she’s nearly as beautiful as the girl who’s aleady sitting next to me. My girl speaks excellent English so I ask her a lot of questions about short times, and long times and how much the barfines are and so on. She tells me, “I’m coyote.”

Then I tell her how the Coyote girl routine works out in Pattaya Walking Street where the girls must sell their quota of fifty lady’s drinks every ten days. She explains all the minimums she must pass, but it’s nothing at all like it is on Walking Street. There’s something I’m missing. But the bottom line is this…..she tells me it’s going to cost a man 5000 baht to fuck her. I think she told me her barfine is 3000 baht, but I’m not sure on that either. This would mean she would be getting 2000 baht for the short time. Eventually she politely excuses herself by telling me it’s her turn to dance, and then she starts taking her turn on the small stage. Eventually I check bin and tell her goodbye. Her facial expressions tells me she’s surprised that I”m leaving so early and that I’m not waiting for her to come down off the stage. But she’s been up there at least 20 minutes and I’m bored shitless. But damn, she’s quite the looker and she seems pretty bright, a good conversationalist, and I almost cave in to stay with her until I decide to head back to my hotel.

But I’ve got at least one more review to do. On the way into Soi Cowboy I noticed Cowboys II which seems to be a larger go go than most of the rest. I decide to give that one a go. In no time I have a very cute girl sitting next to me. I buy us both a drink, then I ask her what her barfine is. She tells me it’s 800 baht. Then she tells me that she doesn’t want to go with anyone that night. Perhaps she’s on her period? Anyway, who cares. I’ve already had enough sex with the massage girl. And I”m having an 8 a.m. breakfast with my Japanese friend in the morning. The last thing I need to contend with is a girl in my hotel room. With my luck she might be difficult to arouse early in the morning. And who knows, I might like her so much that she will wind up having sex with me until 5 a.m.

So I go home alone. Or back to my hotel. But before signing off on this review of all that Bangkok Soi Cowboy go go action, there are a few things I want to mention. First is, in general the music in the Soi Cowboy Bars is much better than one finds down on in the Pattaya Walking Street go gos., which plays a godawful amount of pure noise that I call Da Da. Second….the last time I went to Soi Cowboy drinks were substantially more expensive than they are in the Pattaya Walking Street go go’s. Now they are about the same. 160 baht a beer on Soi Cowboy pretty much nails it and sometimes they are a little less. On Walking Street they are now running between 140 and 170 baht. It also seems to me that there are a lot more brain dead go go dancers down on Pattaya Walking Street than there are on Soi Cowboy. I can’t remember even once that I was left alone at a single Soi Cowboy go go bar. There was always at least one girl asking me if she could sit with me. Forty or fifty percent of the time the Pattaya Walking Street girls will not only allow me but also my friends to leave the premises without even attempting to get attention from any one of us. So, either the go go bars on Soi Cowboy are much better managed than they are on Pattaya Walking Street or the girls are simply not as lazy, and no doubt on average simply more intelligent. And as for the music, the music is so terrible in more than 50 % of the Walking Street bars that I feel insulted and belittled as a man for lowering myself so much as to even be buying drinks in such places in the first place.  But can I honestly contend that Bangkok Soi Cowboy go go action is superior to what one finds on Pattaya Walking Street?  That’s a difficult choice to make based on the fact that only this once have I ever reviewed the Bangkok Soi Cowboy go go action, and it is unlikely that I will be getting up to Bankok that often.