Category Archives: Pattaya Bar Girls

This is your essential guide for dealing with Pattaya Bar Girls

Let’s give dishonest Thai bar girls a break

Let’s give dishonest Thai bar girls a break.  As one Soi Six girl explained.  “You are only customer.  You are not my tilak  (sweetheart) until you take care of me.”

Billy Bob discusses dishonest Thai bar girls

The girl continued:  “I don’t want you to break my heart.  So you customer only.”

So is she a dishonest Thai bar girl or not?

But there is another girl.  And she is very beautiful.  She is also very slim.  Too slim for probably 90 percent of the guys.  And my cousin, Rufus, he’s totally in love with this here girl.  While she’s totally in love with him.

I knows you don’t believe me but I’ve watched them together too many times

Why she will spend 2 hours at a time with him in that Soi Six short time room upstairs.  And when they are in the bar together she won’t take her eyes off him.  She won’t take her hands off his body either.  As for Rufus.  You would think she’s the only girl in his life.  He loves this Soi Six girl to death.

But here’s the problem.  He’s already got himself a Thai wife.  He found her in a bar too.  But that was many years ago.  He’s lucky too.  Her Thai family ain’t asking him for too much.  She’s got four brothers and two sisters.  And she’s got a mother and father.  But let me tell you, her mama and papa are very sick and very old.

The reality is this.  If he kicks his wife out of his life, she’s not going to get too much of his money.  Unless he gives most of it to her.  Her mama and papa can’t work and her brothers only make barely enough for their families to survive.  They have children, so the 15,000 baht they make each month is not enough to be supportin their own families and their mama and papa.

As for his wife.  She will probably be back working as a bar girl again.  If he dumps her.  The mere thought of her fucking all those customers again haunts him.  He cannot bare to look at those trusting beautiful eyes of hers when he thinks about that.

As for dishonest Thai bar girls this Soi Six flame of his isn’t one of them

She loves cousin Rufus to death.  But she’s got a child and has her mother up in Issan taking care of the little girl.  So she’s gotta be supportin her mama and papa and her child.  Working at the local 7-11 isn’t going to be able to do nearly enough.  So she works as a prostitute on Soi Six.

I knows she’s not one of them dishonest Thai bar girls.  Sure she lies to her customers.  She tells all the fat guys she loves fat men.  And she tells all the old farts, she loves old men.  It’s all part of her job.  She wants all these old farts and fat men coming back to give her more money.  If she can’t lie with conviction to all these customers she’s not going to be making much money.

Rufus hates seeing his Soi Six girlfriend having to go with customers

This is not the reed thin Soi Six Beauty in my story here. But when we were first getting to know this girl, she’d try to pull a fast one or two on us. But once we all got onto each other, she stopped pulling her stunts and became a real pal.

And it’s not because he’s jealous.  He just knows  how bad news most of these customers are.  She’s a real beauty.  Even if she’s too thin for most guys.  But Rufus views her as a gorgeous model.  She’s got that twiggy look.  A real model’s body.  The way models used to look.

She’s a beautiful willow swaying in the wind.

Now that I know her better I see her in the same way.

She’s so observant.  And so bright.  And so polite.  She’s really too good for most of these customers of hers, and Rufus knows it.

So now it’s high time for me to digress a little from this story and tell you what I think of most men who come to her bar.

dishonest Thai bar girls versus the Myth of Super Falang

Most Falang or Westerners who come to Pattaya think they are simply the most wonderful things to ever happen to these girls.

Why, they can play basketball, they can dribble the ball behind their backs, and they can dunk the ball every time against all these inferior stupid Thais.  And the English are the worse of them all.  Even though the Germans aren’t that far behind them English.

I happen to know because I am chairman of my condo building.  My fellow committee members do 1 percent of the work while I do 99 percent.

I know who pays their bills on time and who doesn’t.  Not to mention who are the big complainers are.  Among all my fellow condo owners.

Many of them complain a lot.  They go into the condo office and yak yak the two women working there mercilessly.  Most of the condo owners here treat them two women like dogs.

90 percent of these men aren’t worth a shit.

But I tell you one thing.  Most of them can’t play basketball.  They might think they are super falang. But I see most of them as lazy men who aren’t about to do anything for anybody, but themselves.

 The worse kind of men come to Pattaya

Most of them represent the worse that their respective countries have to offer.  They come here so that they can get drunk and party all the time.  Most of them come to have sex with as many women as possible.  But I think some of the worse men of all are the ones who come here for “True love”.  These are the kind of guys who could never find true love in their home countries.  And rightfully so.

It’s because they are so unlovable.  Do you really expect any kind of real woman to feel anything for such men?  But the real surprise to me is I see so many cute, lovely Thai women stick it out so long with so many condo owners here who I have nothing but disdain for.

Getting back to that lovely Soi Six Bar Girl

Most of the customers coming into her bar are Englishmen.  They are the worse kind of Englishmen.  Most of them have tattoos.  They wear the colors of their favorite soccer teams.  And they wear the kind of shorts that English football players wear.    As one of my German pals put it to me while we were visiting a Soi Six Bar:  “Look at these Englishmen wearing their monkey suits.”  You’d think a visiting professional team was coming into the bar wearing those ridiculous outfits.

They cuss a lot.  And they are loudmouths.  Plus they always go from bar to bar in their little Englishmen groups.

These are hooligan types.  Complete uneducated rif raf.  Yet these are the customers this girl has to keep fucking and pretending she likes it.

She oftentimes works in that Soi Six bar in high heels.  Believe me, she looks positively elegant wearing them.  Then she has to go upstairs with all these louts and have them slober all over her.

That’s one of the many reasons Cousin Rufus like to give her as much money as he can.  And spend as much time as he can with her in her bar.  The way Rufus has it figured, the more time he’s with her, the less time she must put up with such imbeciles.

But she wants more from Rufus.  She wants him to be the white Knight who will take her out of the clutches of all that white trash.  But Rufus cannot deliver.  On account of he’s already got a Thai wife.  Bottom line, eventually one of them has gots to go.  Either the Thai wife or the girl from Soi Six.

She’s going to want to cuddle with him all the time.  She is going to want to sleep with him almost every night.  She is going to want him to hold her in his arms to reassure her that she’s never going to have to fuck all those louts ever again.  She’s going to want to feel that she never has to worry about money again.  So it’s not going to last.

But she’s not one of them dishonest Thai bar girls.  In fact there’s a lot fewer of these dishonest Thai bar girls than you’d think.

dishonest Thai bar girls have a lot more integrity than most condo managers

Money Number One's about dishonest Thai bar girls
In Money Number One, Neil Hutchison tells the truth about dishonest Thai bar girls. Although Neil’s advice needs to be heeded he doesn’t have everything quite right about Pattaya’s bar girls. But one thing Neil never mentions is how much worse your typical condominium manager is than such bar girls. Or many condominium technician’s and other key employees. A lawyer once told us that 99 percent of all condominium offices in Pattaya cheat their condo owners.

A Thai lawyer once told my fellow committee members and me that 99 percent of the Thai staffs working for Pattaya condos are ripping off their condo owners.

Why our own condo bookkeeper and secretary embezzled 255,000 baht from us.  And that’s nothing compared to what I keep hearing about all the other condo communities around us.

As my old friend Hans Schumaker put it.  “When condo residents pay utility bills and maintenance fees to their condo offices a lot of money can pile up in the hands of the manager or bookkeeper.”  In Thailand where salaries are so much lower than they are in the West, it’s too tempting laying out all that money in front of condo office employees.  When you have condo residents paying cash to their condo offices, they are offering the condo  office personnel an invitation to steal.”

That’s why we now require all condo residents to pay their bills direct to our condo savings account.

But Managers and other key Pattaya condo employees can still rip off condo owners by getting commissions and kickbacks for repairs

It’s not just their 25000-40000 baht salaries that attract so many worthless scoundrels to become condo managers.  It’s all the money that they can get by overcharging for repairs

As chairman of the committee here in my condo community I must report that out of four managers, three were ripping us off for repairs.

Here’s the way all this works.

Condo communities need to keep up on their maintenance in order to provide a good living environment for their owners.  Water pumps need to be replaced.  The swimming pool lights stop functioning.  Someone needs to repaint the building every few years.  Generators need to be replaced for emergency lighting.  As well as the emergency lights themselves.  Insurance needs to be purchased for the condo building.  The elevator keeps malfunctioning.  And so does the Internet and television service.

Management must go out and purchase all those things that are necessary to keep everything functioning.  It also has to hire special technicians to take care swimming pool problems, water leaks that no one seems to be able to trace, etc.  And all these vendors supplying materials and labor to all these condo communities in Pattaya are going to be giving the condo managers commissions.

A manager might go out and hire an outside work crew for a 20000 baht job.  And then he will charge the condo owners 60000 baht for labor.

A few years ago our technician told us that we had to pay 174,000 baht to repair a fire control system that didn’t need to be repaired in the first place.

It was that bid from the super experts from Bangkok who would do the repairs that tipped me off.  When I saw a 13000 baht charge for an oil change on the bid, I knew that the experts from Bangkok were conspiring with our technician to rip us off.

For more detailed info about this unnecessary 174000 baht read “What a $400 oil change tells you about Pattaya Condo Repair Ripoffs”

I was certain of that when I talked to our manager about that 170,000 baht bid.  This was the honest manager.  The only one in four who was honest when it came to repairs.

“That 170,000 baht bid we got from Bangkok?  We had those two technicians come down from their company.  One of them said to me,  I can get this job done for just 100,000 baht.  But I will do it myself.  Me and my friends.  My company doesn’t need to know anything about it.”

This manager of ours, the honest one, didn’t get very far with him.  You can be sure that if she convinced our committee to go for the 100,000 baht deal, that she’d be getting her cut from it.

The next day our technician came up to my condo.  This was our technician.  And not one of the two hot shots from Bangkok.

“If I can get this repair done to our fire control system for 100,000 baht would you go for it?” he asked.

“Bingo.  I had the tech by the short hairs.”  My brain was telling me this.  Our technician had discussed money making schemes with one of both of the Bangkok techs.  One of the Bangkok techs made his offer to our manager.  Our technician had made a master plan with one or both of the Bangkok techs for 100000 baht.  One or both of the Bangkok techs would be pocketing a few thousand baht.  And our technician would be getting a few thousand baht for himself.

A few months later, our manager fired our technician.  We didn’t do any kind of repair whatsoever to the fire control system other than replacing two batteries that started the system off.  And an oil change to the diesel engine that ran the water pumps that supplied water for fire control.  I think it was around 2000 baht instead of 13000 to change the oil and oil filters.  And around 5000 baht to replace the two batteries.  So we wound up spending 7000 baht.  And not 174,000 baht.

Even dishonest Thai bar girls don’t try to rip you off this much.  Well, at least most of them won’t.

dishonest Thai bar girls, so what does all this have to do with them?

There’s so much embezzlement, and kickbacks, illicitly gained commissions from condo managers here.  And all of that is so accepted as the way that things should be.  That I just don’t view all these dishonest Thai bar girls the same anymore.  The rich people in Thailand are so busy exploiting the poor so that they can show off all their BMW’s and Mercedes to have big face.  That I regard so many of these dishonest Thai bar girls as saints in comparison.

 

 

 

In the Soi Six bar police catch Billy Bob with his pants off

In the Soi Six bar police almost catch Billy Bob with his pants off.  And that would be me.  Uncle Bufford’s disciple.

Soi Six bar police almost catch Billy Bob naked
Damn, that was sure a close all with the Soi Six bar police. To find out more about me, check out the Uncle Bufford advice column.

Notice that I changed one word from my title.  That is the key word almost.  I said the Soi Six bar police catch Billy Bob with his pants off just to get your attention.  Because it should.  Police harassment of Soi Six bars is getting to be that serious.

Here’s how serious the situation is getting.  Out of the 75 units in my condo building, the police have put 5 of our residents in jail.  These are only residents that I know of.

But what you really came here for was how at a Soi Six bar police almost caught me with my pants off.

Here’s how the at a Soi Six bar police almost caught me with my pants down.  Right after I copulated.

Now this girl must be about the most slender gal I’ve ever met on Soi Six.  The first time I saw her, another girl at her bar tried to pull me inside the place.  To buy her a drink.  But when I saw her, I thought she was about the cutest thing on two legs.  I had to have her.  So I ignored the first woman.

I looked her in the eye and she looked right back at me.  Our eyes were riveted together so much that it took just a single motion of my eyes to tell her I wanted to buy her a drink.   I wanted the other girl to get lost.

This girl was even prettier than the Doll House go go girls. But the Soi 6 girl had a toothpick frame for a body.

We sat down at the bar together, and she got busy before our drinks even arrived.  I felt small hands on my balls, and I knew right then that I wouldn’t waste any time.

She was 160 centimeters all.  Which comes to about five foot three.  But she admitted to weighing just 40 kilos or 88 pounds.  So she looked a lot taller than she actually was.  In her clothing she looked very shapely and had a fine ass.  Looking as tall as she did she almost looked stately.

But my God.  When I took her in the shower and stood naked with her, I nearly changed my mind.

She was so godawfully skinny.

Honestly, she looked like she had just come out of a concentration camp.  I almost took her back to ask for a refund for my money.

The room set me back 300 baht.  Which is typical for Soi Six.  Reluctantly I took the girl over to the bed and lay down with her.

But brother, did she get active.  She went down on me like an impact drill.  And she kept at it, and kept at it, until I nearly came in her mouth.  Then I turned her over and went down on her.

By now I didn’t even notice how skinny she was.  She tasted good.  And she got really wet real fast.  Her box lunch was mighty fine.

When I started to bang her, she curled her little body right into mine.  Her head was small.  I started to rub her hair.  Then her neck.  We took a long time together before I turned her over.  So that she straddled me.

She had thin toothpick legs.  Her hips were narrow.  She fit right between my thighs while straddling me in the female superior position.

Pulling herself right into my groin brought us right into each other.  I had maximum penetration you would never get from a fat woman.  Or even a normal woman.

So let me tell you guys who like a woman who’s got enough meat to hold onto.  Well, you guys don’t know any better.

And as for all of you who like big tits.  Okay, they can be nice.  But silicon?  There’s nothing worse than silicon.  But take a set of nature well formed tits.  Well, okay, they can be kind of nice.

But not essential.  Now this slender little thing’s practically got no tits at all.  But the little bits that she does have expand and start to fill up my mouth.  I can feel her little body tightening up against me as I suck her little tits.

To make a long story short, I come and I’m pretty damn sure she does as well.

But now it’s time to get back to the Soi Six bar police and how they almost catch me in the act.

I think it was the 3rd time I took her upstairs.  By now I had found out she gives an incredible blow job. She doesn’t hesitate to suck in all my cum and swallow.

The long and short of this is, we’ve just finished whatever we’ve been doing.  I’ve had an orgasm, and I’m still butt naked.  I have left a half empty bottle of beer on the headboard, and I’m about to swallow the rest of my beer.  Then

Suddenly, three Thai women rush into the room

The police are coming.  You must leave.  Quicky, they tell me in loud voices.  My underwear pants are on the floor.  So are my sandals.  I reach town for my underwear shorts.  Then I try to put them on.  I can’t get the hole my dick comes out of to match up with my dick.  The women are frantic.  And so am I.

I do not want the police to find me butt naked in a Soi Six short time room.  It’s likely to make the paper.  The same way it happened at the Windmill Club when the police caught a falang in a short time room upstairs with one of the Windmill girls.  They published the guy’s name and picture everywhere.  Then the police closed the Windmill down for a whole month.

I looked down underneath the bed.  But there wasn’t even the smallest space to crawl in there where I could hide from the police.

I still kept fumbling with my underwear shorts.  Finally I gave up and one of the women took them from me.  Then I pulled my shorts over my naked ass and dick, and shoved my feet into my sandals.  Putting my shirt on was my last act before I headed down the two flights of stairs down into the bar.  I managed to get three buttons buttoned so my chest was showing through my shirt.  But no matter.  I was down into the bar at last.  The girl followed me and took a bar stool next to me as I sat down.

Ordering two beers.  One for her and one for me, I started to relax and wait.  But the police never came.

Later, I heard that the military was accompanying the police as they raided many bars in the area.  The politicians had arranged a big push to show they had big face.  And that they were ridding Pattaya of all vermin, such as me.

I narrowly slithered out of this one.   But I have a lot more to tell about what I’m now doing to avoid Pattaya’s finest men in brown, but that will have to come later.

But for now, what all you guys need is to realize that in these parts of the woods money is number one.  So before you even consider being with any Thai girl you need to get the Bible.  That’s it.  Money Number one.  And don’t ever leave home without it.

Money Number one is the Bible

Related posts about Police crackdowns on Naklua red light areas

Police catch naked British tourist in Pattaya Walking Street Windmill go go bar

To watch the video about the infamous Windmill raid click here.

 

Walking Street Doll House vs Annabelle Go Go Bars Golden Pussy

Here’s the good, bad, and ugly of Doll House vs Annabelle Go Go Bars Golden Pussy shakedown.

The G spot is the Golden Pussy

Background

Three of Pattaya Walking Street’s Premier go go bars have completed a transformation over the past two weeks. The same company has owned the Doll House Pattaya, G-Spot,  Electric Blue, and  Doll House Bangkok . Until now. Then the G-Spot which had been our favorite split from its sister clubs to become Annabelles with a new management team. During the same month the venerable Windmill Club has been closed by the police for a month.

Personally I don’t care for the Windmill Club. I started calling it a Dirty Old Man’s Paradise ever since I saw an old fart sticking his hands into every orifice of one of the dancers there. Perhaps more than any single go go bar on Walking Street the Windmill has earned the Golden Ring Award for relentless hands on debauchery and dildo pussy thrusting.

This time the Windmill committed the unpardonable sin of allowing one of its customers to boom boom one of its girls in an upstairs short time room.  In came the police to catch the man with his pants down and his dick hanging out.

Which brings us to last night

go go girl who's not showing her Golden Pussy

Billy Bob and I started out at the Doll House. Several of the prettiest girls at the G-spot quit as soon as the new owners took over and renamed the place Annabelles Go Go.  I found them at Doll House last night and I have to say that the Doll House had the purdiest group of girls I’ve seen in a go go bar for a coons age.  Several of the sexiest girls wasted no time  and  joined Billy Bob and me in the peanut gallery.

I bought a few tequilas for two of the girls who hung with me until Billy Bob and I headed out to Annabelles. I promised to return to “my two girls” after half an hour or so.

Annabelles was completely packed with customers.

We couldn’t find a table but the mamasan, who oftentimes hung around with us, soon found seating arrangements for us.

There were over thirty go go dancers up on that stage.  Billy Bob told me most of the girls were from the Windmill Club who had suddenly found themselves out of work. And with them came many Windmill customers. I suddenly had to face  the thing I had hated the most about the Windmill Club.  It had far too many customers. The place was always uncomfortably crowded.  And there were never nearly enough girls to go around.

The Windmill was well known for having some of the cheapest beer on Walking Street.  But the fact is, cheap drink prices always brought in the riff raff.  And believe me, Annabelles was super saturated tonight with cheap charlies.  This was definitely not my kind of crowd.  As for the girls, most were nothing to write home about. The club had also changed its music to that electro crap I call Da Da music.

Back at the Doll House

they had been playing a lot of really good music for a change. I had just one bottle of San Miguel Light at Annabelles which set me back a whopping 170 baht. This was just plain inexcusable. Hordes of customers had come in.  The place was crowded with imbeciles who simply didn’t know any better. I left for the greener pastures of the Doll House where I rejoined the two sexy women who had sat with me earlier.

I have known one of the two girls for nearly two years now.  She has a very pretty face and a very fine ass.  She knows it too.  And she uses every opportunity to stick that fine ass of hers in my face. The thing I like about her best is for a Thai bar girl she’s a straight up kind of gal who calls a spade a spade. The other girl, who I’ve started calling the little sister, has great breasts, and a nice shape. I’ve only had her sitting with me only once before. I found her to be quite cuddly and kissable.

Both girls wanted me to bar fine them.

I would have bar fined the “older sister”, but when the mamasan told me the bar fine was now 1100 baht, I told the mamasan and both girls that there was no way I would ever pay a thousand baht bar fine.

I found out the reason for the bar fine going up from 900 to 1100 baht

was the girls were now dancing totally nude. Which comes down to this. Before Christmas bar fines for Electric Blue, the Doll House and the G spot had been 800 baht.  But over the Christmas holidays the clubs upped their bar fines to 900 baht, and never lowered them once the Christmas gouging season had ended. Now they had gone up to 1100 baht due to most of the Doll House girls now dancing totally nude.  I was plain disgusted, and so were many of the girls who were not getting bar fined much.

What’s good about Go Go Bars Golden Pussy?

For one thing you get to see exactly what you are getting. And let’s face it, although a lot of guys like big tits, it’s the pussy you are fucking or eatin.  And silicon tits are the worse kind of tits. Most of them are shapeless. They are hard and they taste terrible. Now take a girl with small tits. A girl with small tits can really feel them being titillated. When she gets excited her tits expand in your mouth. You can feel her nipples harden with your tongue. But best of all, especially with Thai women, girls with small tits tend to be slimmer and more active. But it’s the golden pussy that sends me to the stratosphere.

Some girls got the golden pussy. Others don’t. And when you watch the go go dancers up on stage you can immediately tell who’s got the soft flabby pussies and who’s got the tight little teen age girl vaginas.

But I already know that the “older sister” has got a golden pussy. I went down there too many times before.  I have to admit that she looks great up on stage showing off that Golden Pussy of hers.  But I haven’t been down on the little sister, at least not just yet. Her box looks promising enough. I often like calling a woman’s vagina her box because pussy sounds so crass.

Mikos not here tonight. And neither is Frog Face.

Thank God. Maybe they have both started working back at Annabelles where they belong.

Both girls are disappointed that I’m not bar fining them. But I’m sharing with them certain ideas of mine that I think both of the girls will like. They’ve been talking animatedly together about what I’m suggestin to them.  Their animated voices and body language tell me that Big Sister wants to share me with Little Sister and that she’s tellin the younger girl what a great guy I am.

I finally check bin. My bottle of beer comes out to 150 baht which is 20 baht less than they are charging down at Annabelle’s.

It’s time to wrap this review up. Here’s the good, bad and the ugly about both clubs.

The Doll House

The good

• Has a wonderful manager in Lenny who used to manage at all three clubs, Electric Blue, the Doll House, and G spot.
• They stopped playing that horrible da da electro crap that so many clubs are passing off as music and are now playing real music with a great beat.
• Beers are cheaper at 150 baht.
• The girls are some of the sexiest on Walking Street
• Showing off golden pussy so that the discriminating male of exquisite tastes can make an informed decision on what he’s buying.
• Happy hour prices for certain drinks between 8:30 pm at 10. For example gin and tonics are just 75 baht each.

The Bad

• Using Golden Pussy full nudity as an excuse for raising the bar fine from 900 baht to 1100 baht.

The Ugly
• Displaying ugly genitalia

Annabelles

The Good

• One of the mamasans is a lot of fun and she’s actually quite cuddly.
• Some of the old staff members who have always treated us well are still here.
• Still hands on. Especially for all those dirty old man types who were frequenting the Windmill.
• Happy hour prices for certain drinks between 8:30 pm at 10. For example gin and tonics are just 75 baht each.

The Bad

• The girls for the most part are only so so. Just like the Windmill bar girls used to be
• The place is far too crowded
• Bar fines are now 1000 baht for short time sex and 1500 baht for long time
• Management is now pressuring the girls to spend more time up on the stage and not enough time one on one with their customers.

The Ugly

• Beers are now 170 baht per bottle. This is downright inexcusable.

Last week’s Naklua bar girl suicide caused by broken heart

Last week’s Naklua bar girl suicide hit me hard.   I used to drink with her, and it took so long for her to die.

At a party after Naklua bar girl suicide
Happier times here at our favorite bar.

Last night the Naklua bar owner asked for donations to burn the girl’s body.  Her family has no money.  The cremation will cost 30,000 baht which is just under $1000 U.S.   And then the bar owner told me the full story which gave me all the gory details, except for one thing.  Why did this pretty girl kill herself?

It was more than a Naklua bar girl suicide.  I knew the girl pretty well

The girl was pretty and she was nice.  The bar owner and I  agreed on both counts.  I used to buy her drinks, but she had always been polite enough to back off, if another girl  got to me first.  I know this sounds pretty bad when I’m writing “if another girl got to me first”.  The bar owner has trained all her bar girls very well.  It is very rare that one of her bar girls asks me for a drink.  What normally happens is when I enter the bar alone, one of the girls will sit next to me after bringing me a drink.  That’s when I really want to buy a bar girl a drink.  When she doesn’t ask me for anything.

I must truthfully say that if I were to ever bar fine a girl here she would have been the one I would have chosen first.  She was the most attractive of all the girls, and she used to laugh at all my jokes. Even if she never understood them.

She used to tell me, “I understand not too much English.  Only a little bit.”  But being my own greatest fan, I would often laugh at the things I used to say here.   So when I’d start to laugh at all the off the wall things I used to say, she’d start to laugh with me.  Which would get me laughing even more.  Our laughter would soon become so contagious that both of us would almost be falling out of our bar stools.

Then I heard the horrible news

She cut her own throat.    The story, when I first heard it, was pretty sketchy.  The story was  this Naklua bar girl suicide was caused by “broken heart”.  One of the girls informed her that her Western boyfriend  was being unfaithful to her.  And that’s why she cut her throat.  But she hadn’t cut it deeply enough which caused her to linger in the hospital for many days.  Which turned into many weeks.

After more than a month, she finally died.   But it wouldn’t be until last night that I got the full story.  Well, not quite.  And that was because the bar owner had never gotten the entire story either.

She died because she drank a lot of Duck before she cut her own throat

Naklua bar girl suicide took a long time because of this poison

Duck is a very potent cleaning fluid that is used to clean toilets and other bathroom fixtures.  I use it to clean the grouting in my tiled floors.  If is strong enough to burn your hands if you don’t  use gloves.  I didn’t find out that she had poisoned herself until two weeks ago.  So it wouldn’t be a question of if she would die, but when.

The rest of the story

Last night I sat at the bar until 2:30 a.m.  Neither Pen  nor I understood exactly why she did it.   But Pen kept telling me she did it because of a broken heart.

The girl’s room was half a kilometer from the bar.  The day she cut her throat she went to the bar.  Then she went back to her room.  She didn’t walk.  She ran while being in a very agitated state. Then she came back to the bar a second, perhaps a third time and each time she ran back to her room.  The bar owner had never seen her acting so crazy.  When she went back to her room the last time she swallowed a lot of Duck.  Then she cut her  own throat.  After this she ran outside her room bleeding profusely as she kept crying out for help.

They took her to Banglamung Hospital.

The bar owner immediately went there as soon as she found out the girl had slit her throat.

At some point, Pen asked a nurse why the hospital did not drain the girl’s stomach.

The nurse replied:  “Because this would have made things a lot worse.”

They then took her  to a highly regarded hospital in Bangkok, which would have drained her stomach had she been taken there first.  At least that’s what the  bar owner told me.  Later they took her home to her family.   But as far as Pen could find out the girl was slowly recovering and would soon resume working at the bar.  The girl returned home to her family and whenever Pen  called to find out how she was, the girl would tell her, “I’m fine.  I will be back at your bar soon”.

She wasn’t doing fine.  She was dying

Neither she nor her family had any money.  But she was too proud to tell the bar owner this.  So she couldn’t stay at the Bangkok Hospital for very long.  Last night Pen told me that she would have paid the girl’s full medical expense if only she had known.   I completely believe Pen.  Always have and always will.  She has a lot more behind her than most of her customers would ever suspect,  and she has a huge heart.  As for the local hospital where the girl’s family lived, the place simply did’t have the equipment or skilled personnel to handle complicated medical cases such as hers.

The Duck had slowly eroded a lot of her insides.  The Bangkok Hospital would have operated.  And possibly saved her life.  Who knows?

Last remarks from her bar owner

  • “She left behind children and her parents.  Now  who’s going to take care of them”?
  • “She was very pretty.  She could have easily found another man to take care of her”.
  • “I think about her every day.  This breaks my heart.”
  • “I don’t know exactly why she kill herself.  But it was because of broken heart.”

My last remarks

I have no further remarks  to make about this Naklua bar girl suicide. Other than to link here to one of my You Tube Videos.   This is much more than just another Naklua bar girl suicide.  We will all miss this girl.

If you wish to read more about the bar.  its History and what makes this bar owner so very special continue here.

 

 

 

 

 

Annabelles go go becomes more expensive

Two weeks ago the Walking Street go go bar was G Spot.  Now it’s Annabelles go go, and it’s become more even more expensive.

G Spot is now Annabelles go go

Before Christmas you could bar fine a G Spot go go bar girl for 800 baht. Then came the Christmas gouging.  Bar fines went up to 900 baht. But one would think that bar fines would go back to normal once the Christmas holidays were over. But it just didn’t happen. Same thing happened down the street at the Crazy House go go bar. My response was to lower my short time tips to the girls from 1500 to 1000 baht. It worked.

And here’s why

I’ve got it figured this way. Most men won’t pay thousand baht bar fines and be willing to pay a go go girl two thousand baht for short time. Japanese men might be willing victims to such overcharging. But not the guys I know. Men who actually live here and know better. But for most go go girls it’s a matter of face. They are 2000 baht girls. Some even think they are worth 3000 baht. But when I go into most go go bars, I very seldom see the girls actually getting bar fined. So I figure I can get at least some of them for 1000 baht. With one caveat that is. This being that we keep my 1000 baht tip a secret from all the other girls and the mamasan.

Let’s bring  Annabelles go go pricing picture down to Earth

Most of the time I am not going to spend more than one hour in a go go bar without paying at least 1000 baht for drinks. The short time room down the street is now 400 baht. Even at a 900 baht bar fine, and a 1500 baht tip to the go go girl, I’m out at least 3800 baht which is $115.00. Which is pretty bad considering I can go short time with a Soi Six girl for 1300 baht. And this includes the room upstairs. That’s $40.00. And the Soi Six girls are in the hole much better.

Annabelles go go bar the good and the bad

They still have those terrific 8:30 to 10:00 p.m. Happy Hours here. I will usually start off with four half priced gin and tonics for just 300 baht. And Annabelle’s still has some of the best looking go go girls on Walking Street. They’ve still got the same mamasans. One of them is pretty cool. She likes to hang around my table even if I’m not buying her drinks.

But Annabelle’s no longer owned by the same company that ran G Spot, Electric Blue and the Dollhouse go go bar. The manager’s gone. Thankfully he’s back over at the Dollhouse where he’s still buying drinks for me and my pals.

Last night I saw the new manager. And believe me he’s laid down the law. My favorite girl keeps tellin me, “I don’t like this place anymore.” And why should she? I buy her a lot of drinks. And trust me, she’d much rather hang around me and my pals than be dancing her ass off all the time up on that stage. Mamasan’s been pretty cool with that too. Because me and my pals are a pretty entertaining group of guys. But now they’s got her on a time clock. She only gets about ten minutes with me before she’s high pressured to get up on the stage.

 The worse thing about  Annabelles go go bar is

Is the price to get laid. It now costs a 1000 baht bar fine just to take a girl out of the bar for short time. But the long time bar fine is now a whopping 1500 baht. I used to be able to pay a 900 baht bar fine to get a girl out of the bar. So we could go to a beer bar so that I could avoid having to pay for all those ridiculously priced lady drinks. I could take a girl out for 80 baht beers far away from Walking Street. We’d spend a couple of hours together and then we’d simply split and go our separate ways. After I banged her in a 200 baht short time room that is.

But under the new regime, if the girl goes out with me, I must pay either 1000 baht short time or 1500 baht long time. If I take her short time, she has to come back to Annabelle’s to complete her shift. And there’s no way in hell I’m ever going to pay a 1500 baht bar fine.

The solution is

To have her meet me outside the go go bar. And now because of the greed of the go go bar’s new owners, this bar’s going to get no bar fines out of me. Not ever. And believe me, many of the girls are perfectly fine with this. They know they are getting screwed. Especially now that it’s low season. Trust me the bar fines over at Annabelle’s will be few and far between.

Don’t be a  Walking Street sucker with Pattaya Bar Girls

Uncle Bufford says, don’t be a  Walking Street sucker with Pattaya Bar girls.   Be tough.  Don’t let any of these wimmen run you.  I will give you five examples of what I’m talkin about.

I am not a Walking Street sucker
Above all, don’t fall for these cute little things. Focus on what’s really important. Tits and Ass. Yes, that’s the ticket. Get as much as you can. If ya falls in love with only one, you ain’t going to get too many

But first off, I didn’t do all these things Billy Bob did.  This is his story

Girl number 1. The go go girl who apologized.

Ever notice very few Thai women from all these bars never apologize? This is a matter of face. And in my opinion in this part of the world, money is not number one as Neil Hutchison says in Money Number One.

Money Number One is no longer sold in Thailand because certain illustrious Thais felt the book’s cartoons gave Thais a bad image

It’s number two. Face is number one. The Thais we keep meetin in Pattaya have this huge desire to be number one. They don’t want falang tellin them what to do. This amounts to too much Xenophobia (dislike or fear of people from other countries). Or Thai always right. Foreigner always wrong. This time my sexy go go friend broke the mold.  I’m calling her, Noi, which isn’t her real name and it’s not her stage name either. That’s because not all of you reading this are the nicest people. So I want to be protective of the people I like.

So here I am in this here go go bar. I”m not going to tell ya the name of the place. I like to keep certain places to myself. Keeps the riffraff out.  I kind of like to keep the good places to myself even though this here is a go go bar. The manager usually buys me and my friends drinks.  Anyways this girl is kind of special. I first met her workin on Soi Six which means she has some values. That’s why I bang her a lot.

Use this line to avoid being a Walking Street sucker

I’m buying her tequilas and beers and then she decides to bring her friend over. I keep tellin them all, “Look, I’m fuckin her, not you. I buy drinks only for the girl I’m banging.  What are you doing for me? Do you think I’m a Walking Street sucker?”

I keep tellin her she’s special. But then she points across the room at another girl and asks me, “Buy friend me drink?”

I tell her no. But she does not let up on me. “But she my friend,” she replies.

“I don’t care. I only buy drink for you.”

But her friend comes over to our little table lookin for a handout.

“I tell both girls. “She my friend,” as I point at Noi. I know her for long time.”

“My friend no have drink. No money,” the ex Soi Six girl explains.

That does it. I catch the eye of a waitress who promptly comes over.

“Check Bin Kap.” I tell her.

Action counts with Pattaya bar girls.  Words don’t mean squat

“Five minutes later, I’ve settled my bin (bill) with the waitress. Then I turn to Noi, and tell her, “I only buy drink for you. Not for friend you, sister you, mamasan, papasan. I go now because you not listen to me.”

The next time I visit her bar, she makes a big display of being very happy to see me, and lets the whole bar know it. We start off having a beer together.

Don’t be a  Walking Street sucker

Walking Street Sucker
Believe it or not, most men coming to Pattaya leave their brains at the airport.  Incidentally, I ripped this cartoon off from Neil Hutchison’s Amazon listing for his book, Money Number One.    Think I can draw cartoons this good?  No way.  I admonish any man coming to Pattaya to buy Neil’s book and to make it your bible on how to deal with these wimmn.

She’s not one of these worthless go dancers who keeps insisting on me buying her these no alcohol lady drinks they all make 50 baht commissions on.  As I  keep having to explain so many times, “This is the name of the go go game, to get stupid falang to buy as many drinks as you can get from them. That’s why all these wimmen keep insisting that you buy drink for their friend, their sisters who ain’t their real sisters, and all these voracious mamasans.”

But this girl is very different. After all, I met her from Soi Six.  Sittin next to me, she says, “I sorry about night before. Wanting you buy drink me my friend.”

She never tried that stunt again.

Girl number 2

This one’s from Soi Six. Which is going to show all of you, that you never can tell. I love Soi Six best of all. And I like Walking Street girls least of all. This one’s one of the better looking Soi Six girls. She’s got a great attitude. Gives me a nice little massage while we lie naked together just before we get it on.  BUT:

I must have fucked her about six different times. Then I text messaged her to meet me at her bar at 11 a.m . She text messaged me back: “Yes.”

So the next day I arrive at Soi Six at 11 a.m. I call her. It’s obvious that I’ve just woken her up. “Can you wait half hour for me,” she tells me.

“Okay, I have breakfast. See you in one half an hour,” I reply.

So I have a breakfast at a nearby restaurant and call her back.

“I have customer now,” she tells me.

I didn’t miss my turn.  That Thai girl missed her turn with me

That was about one month and a half ago. And I haven’t given her one baht since.  They say when you have missed out that you have missed your turn.  But I see it my way. Whichever customer took my turn has probably not been with her very much. He’s probably a tourist.  She could have been a regular of mine and I live here all year round.

I liked a lot of things about her and was about to replace my number one Soi 6 girl with her. But now she’s missed her chance. But oh well, “Birds in the attic but nobody at home.” But stay tuned for my sequel on her.  I’m not a Walking Street sucker.  And I’m not a Soi Six Street sucker either.

Girl number 3. The very sexy massage girl

Trouble with most massage girls is nearly all of them are butt ugly. I haven’t had that many massages in the last several years. And I haven’t had a happy ending (where the massage girl massages her customer’s penis to orgasm) for over two reasons. I used to have a pretty massage girl give happy endings. Trouble was she was a bit fat, and not really a match for a couple of my Soi Six favorites. Also, the Soi Six girls gave me number one boom boom. Not to mention terrific oral sex. So I’d always choose gettin it all from girls with wonderful bodies over getting a hand job from someone who’s body didn’t match up to what I was expectin.

But this massage girl has one of those slender wonderful bodies that really turns me on.

I get the best massage I ever had

Upstairs there was just one room. I think this must be the only room in which they give oil massages. There is just one narrow bed on it and there’s a lock on the door.

She puts me on the bed lying naked, face down. I am putting my head down into the plastic pillow that had the breathing hole in it so that I have my face pointed down towards the floor. And then she starts playing with my ass. She grazes my ass hairs lightly with her finger tips.  Which is so exquisite that I get an immediate erection. God, did she know what she was doing.  In less then five minutes I jerk myself into an upright position and then I did something I had never done before.

I ask the first massage girl ever for sex

“I want you to do everything with me. I want you to smoke me and fuck me with all your clothes off.  You get 1000 baht tip to make me come.”

“Okay. 300 baht for the oil massage, but you must pay me 1100 baht tip.”

“No, I give you 1000 baht tip. Same same I pay all ladies.”

“You pay me 1100 baht this time. Next time you pay me 1000 baht.”

Because I knew there would be a second time, and probably many times more, I agreed because I know that the right massage girl can be a real treasure. And here’s why.

Why the right massage girls are number one

Even the mediocre massage girls work hard. Most beer bar girls don’t have to. Now don’t get me wrong, some beer bar girls can be terrific. But a lot of them are just standing around, doing practically nuthin. Or joking around with their friends. And too many of them are on their smart phones which means they aren’t paying attention to me. This means they ain’t too smart. And if there’s one thing I despise is a woman who’s dumber than a milk cow.

But when you get a 1 hour massage, the girl is working on you 100 percent of the time. If the massage girl is even half good, she’s putting out a lot of energy giving you that massage. And let’s face it, she’s got to put up with a lot of very obnoxious guys 100 percent of the time she’s giving them massages. She’s got to put on a pretty face even if the guy she’s massaging has a bloated fatso body. Or the guy smells like crap. And I can assure you that most of the guys she’s massaging have terrible personalities. Many of them are just plain evil bastards. But it’s her job to always be pleasant to such assholes. And she’s got to be putting on her pretty face while doing it no matter how she’s feeling inside. These gals are queens I tell you. Queens.

Happy Endings

Then there’s the girls who are giving happy endings. Believe me, most of them are pretty damn good at doing it. And they are doing using only their hands.

Trouble is most of them are just plain whipped with ugly stick. Especially in my neck of the woods where I haven’t seen a pretty massage girl since the beginning of time. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s places in Pattaya that are pretty far away that have much better selection. I just don’t have the time to comb all those areas that are too far from home.

You might be hitting the jackpot if you find a pretty massage girl

But if a man finds a pretty massage girl, he just might be onto a gold mine. There’s a good chance she will want to continue to please him. And sex with her can be fabulous.

Which was what I was hoping it would be with this girl. When she took her clothes off, she was just the way I like em. She had nice shapely legs, was a bit taller than average for a Thai girl. She had nice shapely breasts too. On the whole she was pretty slender with a flat belly. Not real pretty in the face, but she was pretty enough and she had that very sensual look in her eyes.

She started to smoke me. I nearly came in her mouth, but I wanted to eat her so badly. So I went down on her. I don’t think I came up for air for over half an hour. I cannot be certain. After all, they are such damn good actresses, but she sure seemed to be having a lot of orgasms. By the time we started fucking we were kissing each other passionately.

Most Thai sex workers don’t like kissing their customers on the lips

I don’t think many bar girls like kissing their customers. First off, most of the men have shitty bodies. And most of them are old. Like me. It’s one thing to go down on a man’s dick. But I think it’s a lot harder for most of these girls to actually be french kissing a man they have no feelings for and no sexual attraction either. It’s like this, “I will let you come in my mouth because it’s my job. I must separate my job from my true feelings. I kiss my boyfriend and the men I am really attracted to. Or like. That’s why I’m turning my head aside when a customer tries to kiss me on my lips.”

Old Fart with a good body

But I have to admit that I have a damn good body. Even if I am an old fart. And when it comes to eatin a girl I’m very sexually attracted to, I don’t ever want to stop until her entire body’s coated with her cum. And then I still don’t want to stop until I’m all tired out.

Afterwards I go to the little bar that’s just two doors away. There’s four short time rooms in this bar and there’s another 14 short time rooms next door. It’s this bar that I like to take the Walking Street girl I’ve described earlier. There’s a Cambodian girl here who’s got good English skills and a great sense of humor. The Walking Street girl likes her just as much as I do. Here I can buy Noi beers for just 80 baht and if she’s not with me, I am buying drinks for the Cambodian girl.

Don’t smoke around bar girls you plan on boom booming

The Cambodian woman and I are having a cigarette together. I don’t really smoke all that much but I do enough. But I do know that most Thai bar girls do not smoke cigarettes and don’t like men smoking around them or smelling of cigarettes. I almost make it a cardinal rule not to be smoking around the girls I’m fucking. This is because I want them to be attracted to me. Cigarettes will simply make me repellent to a non smoker.

Suddenly the massage girl comes into the bar. It’s a small open faced beer bar and as I’ve mentioned it’s only 2 doors from the beer bar. And then the girl plants a solid kiss right on my lips. Since I don’t want her to taste the cigarette smoke in my mouth I suddenly purse my lips so that her tongue enter her mouth. I feel like a real asshole doing that.

But I become an even greater asshole later

When I first found that massage place a woman asked me if she could give me a massage. We talked a bit, and then I went down to the beer bar to drink with the Cambodian woman. It was a few days later that I actually met the slender massage girl I had sex with.

So, a few days after having all that wonderful sex with the massage girl, I came back from Walking Street where I had a few Gin and Tonics and a couple of tequilas. This is one of the reasons I was about to make one of the hugest mistakes I’ve ever made since moving to Pattaya.

The greeting me at the massage place just had to be the girl I had fucked. She didn’t look nearly as pretty, however. And since she was sitting down in a chair, I never had a good chance to size up her body. So I told myself, “she’s not wearing her makeup and she’s probably changed her hair.” After all, we all know how quickly all these Thai women can change their appearance.

Damn.  I had the wrong girl

So I took her upstairs to do an oil massage. But I noticed many things that were different about her. She seemed quite a bit heavier, but I knew that she couldn’t gain this much weight in just one week. But I was pretty drunk. As a matter of fact, I was pretty drunk the same that first night I got that oil massage. I took a shower which was very cold. Then I took my position on the narrow bed that I was going to get my massage on.

Did I say I was pretty drunk? I was very drunk. But I still can’t understand myself and why I did what I did next.

“I want you to take everything off I told the girl. I want you to smoke me. Then I smoke you.”

By the time she was on top of me sucking my dick I was sure I had the wrong girl. But as I just said earlier, these massage girls know just how to get you off in the shortest time possible. And she was making my dick pretty damn hard. Then I turned her over and started to lick her up and down between her legs.

By this time I was sure I had the wrong girl. But I came in her mouth anyway.

Back to the delectable Massage girl

A few days later, I finally found the girl I had total sex with. When I asked her to do an oil massage with me she said:

“You go with my friend before.”

What she meant was: “I lose face because of what you just did with her. So go ahead and do her again. See if I care.”

I replied: “I only want you.  No want her.”

I was finally able to convince her that I had absolutely no interest in the other woman and then we went upstairs. Seconds after hitting that cold shower she was on me like a female leopard. Clinging to me, she thrust her mouth into mine and started French kissing me passionately. Once again, sex with her was some of the best I had ever had.

We had sex together only one more time.

Then one night I text messaged her, “Are you giving massages at 11:00-12:00?”

“Yes.”

I should have been more explicit and messaged her either 11 or 12.  I intended to text message her again the next morning when I was certain about the time. But I didn’t and arrived at 11:10 in the morning.

She wasn’t there, but the other woman sure in the hell was.  The same woman who had me come in her mouth.

The other woman said, “She upstairs with customer. You want to wait one hour.”

I replied, “I no have time. I do not wait for anyone. Not ever.”

After I left the good looking massage girl text messaged me at 12:10, “Do you come now?”

I replied how I had come to see her at 11:10 and how I was informed she already had a customer.  Then I added, “I am too busy to wait for anyone.”

She replied: “I am sorry.”

I wrote:  “I am too. I thought you were an on time kind of lady. Some girls are.  Some aren’t.”

Then she text messaged:  “See you next time, Ok?”

To which I replied: “Next time is tonight. I don’t know right now who is going to be the lucky girl.”

The Lucky Girl

Or was it me, about to become the lucky guy?

I was pretty put out. The massage girl would just have to miss her turn. I just didn’t know who would wind up taking her turn.

Notice how much of an arrogant son of a bitch I am.

The Walking Street girl was a pretty safe bet.  She never thought of me as a Walking Street sucker.   I could text message her and have her meet me at the bar two doors from the massage place without paying a bar fine.  But then I’d be giving the massage girl that I considered her so important that I’d put another girl in front of her face to make her jealous. By the time I got on the baht taxi to head to erection nirvana (wherever the hell that would be) I didn’t really know where I wanted to go or who I wanted to do it with. By the time the baht taxi got to Soi Six, I decided to try to look up an old girlfriend.

Looking for the coolest Soi Six girl ever

She was the most wonderful Soi Six girl I ever met.  For one thing she had the most gorgeous ass.  She was great in bed.  Had a great sense of humor too.  She never called me because I told her not to.  Never text messaged me either unless I messaged her first.  Nan never cried about how bad things were or that she needed money.   But I screwed up a good thing by banging a girl who worked with her.  Not once but about 15 times.

I ran into her a couple of weeks ago working in front of the Soi Six bar I used to frequent where I had boom boomed her many times before.  But that was over two years ago.  She hardly went there anymore.  I suspect she had a long list of customers who saw whenever they wanted her. She had been one of the best ever.  But I had lost her phone number. Either that or she had changed it.

But she wasn’t there.  So I backtracked to another bar that I had never been in before.

The girl is almost too young and beautiful

I spotted the girl right off. As my eyes started to meet hers, another girl asked me to have a drink with her.

My eyes immediately met the first girl’s eyes.

“Want to have drink with me?” I asked the prettier girl.

“Yes.”

It was an open faced beer bar. There’s quite a few open air bars on Soi Six now. Usually there’s a door to an air-conditioned room inside, however. But this place was strictly an open air kind of place although it undoubtedly had short time rooms upstairs. Wanting some privacy, I immediately walked to the back of the room and took a seat at the bar where I could not easily be seen from the street.

The girl brought over two beers, one for me and one for her. Then she sat up close to me. She was pretty, and I do mean VERY PRETTY. But she was so slender that she seemed too fragile for a strong guy like me to boom boom. She had narrow slender shoulders and legs that were impossibly thin. But she had a good figure, a model’s figure. Whether she was too slender or not I found her to be irresistible.

Unbelievably Passionate

She didn’t waste any time fondling me between the legs. And then she started kissing me. French kissing me right at the bar. When I moved back from her to drink to attend to my beer, I noticed that she was wearing blue contacts. She was simply beautiful.

I didn’t waste much time paying the 300 baht for the room upstairs and paying my bar bill. But by the time she took me up to the short time room and we undressed I felt that I was making a big mistake. She was thin. I like them thin. The pretty massage girl was slender but this girl was just 40 kilos And she was five foot three.

Only 88 pounds and nearly as tall as the average American woman

Now believe it or not, the average American woman is not even five foot four. So this girl was less than one inch shorter than the average American woman who now weighs 170 pounds or five pounds heavier than me, and I’m five foot eleven. But forty kilos comes out to just 88 pounds. I mean I like slender gals but this was getting just plain ridiculous.

But in bed she was a tigress. She was beyond passionate. And she was just plain beautiful. By the time I was eating her I had a nice erection. I wound up coming in her mouth.

I finally wound up on Walking Street meeting up with my friends. But I wanted to find her again so I went back to Soi 6 looking for her. I didn’t see her standing in front of her bar, and I eventually wound up with another girl at another place. But that’s another story.

I saw the beautiful girl two more times.  If she wasn’t into me, at least she pretended to be. She would sit with me drinking her drink running her hands inside my shorts rubbing my penis. And she’d do it for an hour straight. Let alone all the making out we’d be doing.

Which brings me back to girl number girl number 2 again.

This time I rented a hotel room on Soi Six for 650 baht. The room gave me a perfect view of half a dozen bars across the Soi. From the room, I could see the girls coming onto their shifts between 4:30 and 5 p.m. There were already two or three good looking girls at the slender girl’s bar but by 5 she had not yet showed up. I had not shaved yet and had not brought a razor with me. So I walked half a block down Second Road to a Seven Eleven where I got a razor, some shaving cream, and several other small items I needed. On the way back to my hotel I wanted to avoid her bar. For the time being. It was just too early to be getting caught up with this girl. Especially since I already knew what the final results would be.

So I went to Soi 6/1 which runs behind and parallel to Soi Six. I call this Lady Boy Alley since the Lady Boys like to hunt down their prey here. Then I cut over to Soi Six far enough down the Soi so that my new favorite would not see me.

Several girls called out to me,

Wanting me to buy them drinks. Halfway down the Soi a pretty girl called out my name from the Lisa Bar. Like the others she wanted me to buy her a drink. But unlike the others, she most definitely seemed to know me. But I couldn’t quite remember. Not sure, but I think she was the one I took upstairs a couple of months ago, who I then looked for but couldn’t find. She was pretty hot. So I told her I might get her a drink later on.

A few bars farther down the soi, another girl called out my name. It was girl number 2. I had not banged her for a month and a half. She had been fun and a great lay. I didn’t know if my new favorite girl would show up tonight or not so I decided to hedge my bets.

Smoke and Kisses

Had a small open air beer bar arrangement outside an air-conditioned room inside. We sat inside at a booth across from each other. I bought her a beer and one for myself but we ended up having two together.

After some conversation girl number 2 told me that she didn’t think I like her all that much. Keep in mind though that this girl had always been pretty frank with me even though she had stood me up for another customer. So I started telling her about a very weird experience I had only three days ago involving the police. But that’s another story that will come later in this blog. I did tell her that I had taken a very pretty girl upstairs from another bar after which all the weird stuff started to happen.

This Soi Six girl’s into self improvement

“Do you like this other girl better than me?” girl number two asked. I don’t mind your telling me the truth. I want to be better at my job.”

“I like you a lot,’ I replied. “But we not have sex for 2 months. The reason why is you were supposed to boom boom me at 11 a.m. but instead you went with another customer.”

I then explained what the pretty massage girl had done and I even showed her the text messaging we had that ended with my telling her another girl would be the lucky girl tonight.

“And I’ve not had sex with her either for two weeks. You see, she did the same thing to me that you did.”

Who cares if they love you or not so long as they act like they do

“But this new very pretty girl acts like she’s totally in love with me. I know that neither you or she really loves me, but I don’t care. Money is number 1. You know it. I know it and you know I know it. But she’s a very fine actress. And she has done nothing wrong yet.”

Somewhere during this conversation, another bar girl came up to our booth and started talking to girl number 2. Which was very rude. But we all know that most of these girls are very rude. True to form, girl number 2 suddenly turned to the other girl to converse with her in Thai. Whatever I had been talking to her about was now obviously forgotten. As I keep saying, “Birds in the attic, nobody at home.”

I promised to look her up later on if the pretty girl up the street didn’t show up for work.

Attentiveness to my dick is the key

But she did. And the entire time we wound up sitting together on our bar stools, her hands hardly left my dick. No one interrupted us. While she kept acting as if I was the most important thing in the world to her.

She had to get up several times to get us fresh drinks from the bar. She was wearing shorts that accentuated her slender body. They were neither expensive looking or cheap appearing. But she looked simply elegant wearing them. She’s just 23. Which is far too young for me. I really don’t like them much younger than thirty.

I don’t care too much for Walking Street go go girls either. But I do like girl number 1 who is 31. Who is a pretty straight forward kind of girl who feels much more at home at a nice beer bar than in a go go club.

I wanna be just like Errol Flynn when I grow up

Errol Flynn was well known to the point of infamy for his hedonistic ways.

I keep reminding myself of Errol Flynn, the swashbuckling move actor, who died in his early fifties, a complete physical wreck with his 17 year old girlfriend, Beverly Aadland close by.  Errol had been one of the most handsome men in Hollywood in his prime.  Flynn was such a stud that the gals would line up outside his hotel room.  Needless to say, he couldn’t handle them all.  So his buddies fucked all the excess women.  They used to call Error’s buddies, Flynn’s Flying Fuckers.

Back to Flynn’s 17 year old

The 17 year old was a young woman who was far beyond her years in intelligence and emotional development. She loved Errol to the end. And that’s a fact. One simply never knows about these kinds of things.

Beverly Aadland was just 17 when she was with Errol Flynn. Precocious beyond her young years, it is my firm belief that she loved Errol in spite of his becoming a corpulent alcohol ridden shadow of his former self.

As for the Massage girl.

I think I’ll try her again to see what happens. Part of that whole story is my own damn fault. I wasn’t clear about the time, and I had gotten her friend and co-worker to blow me, which was not all that cool. Jesus…it still horrifies me to even think about that one. How could I be so utterly stupid?

But now I’ll continue this long story to tell you about four complete losers who I don’t care if I ever see them again.

The Young Girl with the Frog Face

There’s three go go bars that all have the same owner and management team. The bar fine’s 900 baht and there’s none of this crap so many go go bars keep trying to pull such as short time bar fine’s and long time bar fines of up to 1500 baht. Noi works at Sensations (which is a name I’ve made up to protect the innocent.) I’m calling this second go go bar, the Dog House to protect both the innocent and the guilty.

Two girls work at the Dog House. First one’s the young girl with the Frog Face. Second girl’s “A Japanese look a like.” That’s because she has a Japanese look about her. So I’m calling these two Froggie and Miko. There’s a third girl at the Dog House who doesn’t play a major part here. She’s 37 years old so I’m calling her Goodie as in Oldies but Goodies.

A couple of months ago, I pulled Goodie off the stage to have a drink with me. But it didn’t take long for her to get her leaching friend, Froggie, to join us for all the fun and games.

The game, “who’s feeling my dick now”, backfires

I don’t know where I come up with all these brilliant ideas of mine. They seem to be a good idea at the time, but usually they end up backfiring on me. It all started when Froggie took the stool to my right in front of the stage. Goodie sat to my left as we sat together at the stage. In no time both women started to play with my dick. That’s when I started to close my eyes as I tried to guess which go go dancer was fondling my dick.  I didn’t know it then, but I was setting myself up to be a Walking Street sucker.

Needless to say this created quite a Sensation at the the Dog House. Oldie was content to drink beers and tequilas with me. But Froggie wanted orange juice or coca cola. And probably because other girls had told her that she could maximize her tips at 50 baht a ladies drink if she never got drunk with a customer.  Although Froggie had a frog face she at least had a half way decent body. Nothing great but about what one would expect from a 22 year old.

I get targeted by the vultures

I didn’t spend a huge amount of money that night because I only spent an hour at this club.  But the second time I came, Oldie was not there, but Froggie sure in the hell was. Unfortunately she spotted me right off and descended down to me from that stage like a vulture, bringing a second girl who was just as young as her. Right off they both asked me to buy them ladies drinks.   Obviously they thought I was one of their typical Walking Street suckers.  I kept telling them they had to drink real alcohol because if they didn’t I sure wasn’t buying them kiddie cocktails.

I screw up by buying 2 go go bar nitwits kiddie cocktails

I finally relent and get them their girlie drinks. Then out of nowhere another girl suddenly appears for her free ride. But she agrees to drink a real drink with real alcohol in it. When the two young girls ask me for a second drink, I tell them both that I am finished with buying them kiddie cocktails.   So I start to focus on Miko.

My modus operandi with Miko was to kiss her lightly on her ear or her neck and watch her get goose bumps all over her legs and arms. As I remember we did this for a couple of nights after the first time I met Miko. But I wouldn’t stay at the Dog House for very long on account of my strong preference for Noi. The truth is  Noi has a wonderful body while Miko is only so so at best.

I’m going to get Big Ron to rescue me from this leech

But one of my best friends liked Miko. This is Big Ron who I am naming after the Big Ron character from Stephen Leather’s book, Private Dancer.  In real life Big Ron was a strip club owner in the U.S. from Texas.  So Big Ron asks me, “Do you want Miko, because if you don’t want to bar fine her, I’d like to.”

Which he did. Which was great for me because now I wouldn’t have Miko asking me to buy her any drinks.  But one night I went into the Dog House alone.

In the Dog House Peanut Gallery

I sat up in the stands which I call the peanut gallery and one of the girls joined me for a drink. But Miko saw me and went into the peanut gallery to mooch some drinks off me heedless of my already having a female companion.

When she asked me for a drink, I said to her, “Big Ron your tilak (lover) now. He come later I think.”

“Who is Big Ron?” Miko lied.

“You know Big Ron. You go with him Naklua Soi 18.”

“I don’t know Naklua Soi 18,“ Miko lied again.

But she just wouldn’t leave. Finally I asked her, “you like boom boom, Big Ron?”

“I never boom boom Big Ron”, she lied a third time.

“Liar.” But I never told her that.  Because I will have fun at her expense later.    From now on, I’m calling her Monkey Brains instead of Miko.”

At Sensations Go Go Bar with Big Ron

Several nights later, I hit Sensations with Big Ron.  Got four Gin and Tonics at their 75 baht half price Happy Hour deals too. Right off, Noi, joined me while a second girl jumped on Big Ron’s lap.

It didn’t take long for Big Ron to be up to his shit disturbing rambunctious true self.  In no time he was starting to call the girl, Bright Eyes. Fifteen minutes later he asked her what her long time price was. Which in my estimation is totally wrong. I mean, who gives a shit what kind of prices a bar girl starts spouting off. I give them my price, take it or leave it.  Usually they leave it because I am a cheap ole bastard who knows the score.

I could tell that Big Ron was totally pissed off

because he was already reaching into his wallet to pay his bill.

“Let’s get out of here. Bright Eyes here wants 7000 baht for long time. Can you believe it?” Big Ron said with disgust. Who does she think she is? Like she’s got a golden pussy.”

“I don’t like a girl with a golden pussy,” I reply. They are much better  with their pussies shaven totally bald.”

We get go go girl, Noi, to be our spie

I bar fined Noi. Sometimes I will take her straight to a Walking Street short time hotel.  Other times I take her to a favorite little bar of mine where we can drink 80 baht beers together and there’s short time rooms next door.  When I meet here there, I’m not paying a bar fine. But this time I asked her if she wanted to go with Big Ron and me to the Dog House . I want to show Monkey Brains that I’ve got a thing going with a girl who’s ten times prettier than her.  And while I’m at it, I want to instill the same lesson in Froggie.

Big Ron, Noi and I sit up in the 2nd row of the Peanut Gallery while one of the prettier girls in the place targets Big Ron. He orders a drink for the girl from the waitress as she perches her lovely body on his lap.

Big Ron tries to get Monkey Brains to back off

Suddenly a bird of Prey descends on Big Ron, oblivious to his already having one of her co-workers already with him.  But this complete breech of bar girl etiquette has no effect on Monkey Brains whatsoever.  Big Ron pretends she’s not there.  But Noi, who is about as likeable as they come, doesn’t.  Soon, the two girls are exchanging gossip.

It so turns out that Big Ron has supposedly paid Monkey Brains 7000 baht for his first and last long time with her.   After Monkey Brains finally leaves after having no success at leeching a drink off either Big Ron or me, Noi gives me the scoop.

Noi, our spie, explains why Bright Eyes wants 7000 short time

“Lady work with me at bar Sensations, she work here with Miko two days ago.  Miko say Big Ron give her 7000 baht for boom boom.  So now lady at bar me, he want to pay bar fine for, she think he give Miko 7000 baht.  Now she ask Big Ron for Big Money boom boom.”

That’s Noi for you. She knows Big Ron’s not a Walking Street sucker who’s about to pay 7000 baht long time prices for. And she doesn’t like the girls who lie like that.”

Last Drink for Froggie

This time it’s Billy Bob and me over having San Miguel Lights at the Dog House. We are in the third row up in the Peanut Gallery when my eyes come into contact with Froggie’s. A few minutes later, as soon as she’s allowed to come off the stage, she’s sitting next to me in the Peanut Gallery. I reluctantly buy her an orange juice. We plan on leaving for the next go go bar in a few minutes so I’m figuring another 150 baht won’t kill me.  And if she figures I’m a Walking Street sucker, so what?

But Froggie stays with me in the Peanut Gallery for only ten minutes. Then she disappears. figuring in that peanut brain of hers that I’m just another typical Walking Street sucker.  Which is a good thing. After all, I’m not calling her Froggie on account of her beauty. Big Ron and I even stay for a second beer, but still no Froggie. I don’t know who’s more of a class act, Froggie or Monkey Brains. I swear to God to Big Ron that I will never ever buy Froggie another drink.

One more Walking Street go go dancer who’s as useless as tits on a boar

“She’s a total leech. Drinks orange juice and although her body is not half bad she’s nowhere near as well built as Noi.  And compared to the slender Soi Six beauty, boom booming her would be about like banging a man with a moustache. I whisper loudly to Big Ron. “I am not wasting another single baht on anyone like her again. That 150 baht ladies drink is 25 % of the price of a nice little hotel room I can use with Noi or any of the other girls I seriously enjoy banging.”

I will never be a Walking Street sucker again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Naklua Pattaya Bar wedding Party

Why would an English expat have a Pattaya  Bar wedding party?  At the Naklua Pen Bar of all places?

Pattaya Bar wedding
Will and his bride. Pen the bar owner with her back to the camera.

This is an unpretentious place where the locals hang out far away from the Pattaya go go bars on Walking Street.  I can go on and on about why so many of my friends come here.  But I’ll let this you tube video do most of my talking.

Most of these friends of mine are expats  living in Thailand year round with retirement visas.  Or they are men  still living in their home countries who keep coming back to Pattaya and have been doing so for years.   Most of them are Germans.  I’m American.   While Will is an Englishman.  I suppose Will wanted his wedding party to be unforgettable.  And Will knew that Pen, the bar owner, was the woman who would get the job done.

Pattaya Bar wedding lead singer Ploy
Ploy, lead singer for Alex sound which Will had Pen hire for his party’s music.

This video will explain everything.  Will wanted me to do it.  So did Pen.  So I bought along two cameras.  A Nikon D750 slr with my prized Nikon 24-70 2.8 lens and newest little gem.  A Panasonic LX10 with its very fast 1.4 Leica lens.

May May with female Pen Bar regular to her left. The boyfriend’s stuck in his mother country and very sorry to have been missing all the action here.

But first, a little background for why the Naklua Pen Bar wound up hosting a Pattaya Bar wedding Party.

The Pen Bar is like an English Pub or American tavern where the locals congregate.

Its been here for over 10 years.  It is in Naklua where Westerners actually own condos where they stay for the long haul, many of them for the rest of their lives.  Naklua is a different kettle of fish than Central Pattaya with its thousands of bars that cater to tourists staying in hotels.  It’s like many places in England and the United States that have their local pubs and taverns  where the locals go.

Let me give you an example.  During the party a Thai woman was sitting at the bar next to my girlfriend.  Full of excitement she started thrusting her smart phone in front of my face.   Video conferencing with her was her German boyfriend who was stuck in Germany, unable to attend Will’s wedding party.   I can’t remember a single night that I went to the Pen Bar when I didn’t see the couple together.   But here he was back in Germany eating his heart out to be here with the rest of us.

Saint Thomas bar fines 24 women from Pen Bar

I can cite many examples of customer loyalty to the Pen Bar.   One loyal customer was Saint Thomas who inspired one of my characters in Welcome to the Fun House.  Saint Thomas was an American who lived in my condo building.  We called him Saint Thomas on account of his being almost the exact opposite of a saint.  Such as bar fining 24 bar girls from the Pen Bar in one three month period.    Then he moved back to the U.S.  But whenever he’d visit Pattaya he would email me to ask Pen to keep her bar open for him because he would be arriving late from the Bangkok airport.  He’d then take a taxi which would deposit him with his luggage right at the bar.  He’d never go to the hotel first, not even to shower.  Then after he got good and drunk, he would bar fine one or 2 of Pen’s bar girls.  Pen would have someone drive Saint Thomas and his girl (girls)  to his hotel.

At a Pattaya Bar wedding party the groom gets to sing to his guests. Well, at least at the Pen Bar he does.

And brother, Saint Thomas sure used to get drunk.  I don’t think he missed a night.

Later he died.

Per my Norwegian pal reminds me of a Viking Warrior who takes no prisoners

Another great fan of the Pen Bar is Per.  Per’s a Norwegian friend of mine who you can see in all his infamous glory in this video.

I’ve seen Per drop 10000 baht in a few hours of buying drinks for the ladies.  I think he was ripped off by the bar.   But I never saw him spend 10000 baht at the Pen Bar.  The reason was–Per was oftentimes viewed as a prime target due to his generosity and love of alcohol.  Which led to unscrupulous bar owners and cashiers  grossly overcharging him.  Pen never did.  And none of her employees did either.

Pattaya Bar wedding Party bar girl motorcycle taxi drivers
Two of Pen’s girls taking Will and Tonpai home. This is typical service for Pen’s customers in good standing. Pen will just say, “You. Take Jack back to his condo. He forgot to bring his motorbike.”

This was one helluva Pattaya Bar wedding Party

Will left at 4 a.m. but I stayed until after 5 a.m. still downing all those beers.  Reminded me of a canoe float trip on the Current River in Missouri.  After the ice melted in the coolers in the canoe, the canned beer got very warm.   In those days I probably drank over 30 cans of beer and it got to the point that the more beer I drank the soberer I got.  And so it was here at Will and Tonpai’s wedding party.  Seemed I just couldn’t get enough of the beer.

Trust me, a Pattaya Bar wedding is a lot more exciting than those ho hum affairs in the U.S.

More links to Pen Bar

The Song Pattaya Pattaya in video at the Naklua Pen Bar

The Thailand Naklua Pen Bar 10 year anniversary Dance-a-thon Video

 

 

Uncle Bufford says, “Don’t deal with Pimping Pattaya mamasans

Pimping Pattaya mamasans
Take it from me, Uncle Bufford. “Don’t deal with these pimping Pattaya mamasans. The bar girl’s fucking you. The mamasan’s only fucking everyone over.

To protect the awful reputations of the guilty, I’m not naming the two Walking Street go go bars from which these two pimping Pattaya Mamasans crawled out of.  One of the managers (a straight shooter from America) told me that it was up to me and the girl on how much I should tip her for sex. I believed him then and I still believe him. This is the rule for all three clubs that are under the same ownership.

But how often do Thais listen to Westerners?

I can also tell you from a lot of experience on many levels that most Pattaya Thais were born with larceny in their hearts.  Not all, but most. I have a good friend, a female Thai bar owner here in Naklua who will agree with me 100 percent. So let’s stop the philosophizing and get to the facts.

This is what happened last night.

I will start with my 2nd stop of the night. That’s cause the action at our first go go bar was so uneventful. Four of us were together at this place.  As I said, “I won’t name it cause I don’t want the pimping Pattaya mamasans to lose face.  My brother, Billie Bob’s got this very shapely babe on his lap.  She’s got a few tattoos.  Although Billie Bob thinks tattoos are ugly, he keeps raving about this babe.

She’s got soft, wondrous skin, he tells me. In spite of the tattoos. Even better she’s got a gorgeous shapely ass. I touch her, on her neck, on her stomach, and then I put my hands around her thighs and wind up placing them on her ass.

“How old are you?” I ask the girl.

“Thirty-one.”

She’s perfect.  After all, most girls in their early to mid twenties are usually not worth a shit.  That’s cause their brains have not developed much.  But a girl who’s close to thirty or over, thinks she’s already getting old.  By this time she’s probably had a few rotten husbands or boyfriends already.  I am sure of myself on this, especially when it comes to Pattaya women. Most men, Thai or falang, aren’t worth a shit.  90 percent of them aint, and you can take this one to the bank.

This girl’s giving me an erection

on account of her having an ass to die for.  Which is too bad because Billie Bob’s already decided to fuck her.  That leaves me out.

Manasan doesn’t know it, but Billie Bob’s going to be tipping this girl 1000 baht for a short time fuck.  But the bar fine’s 900 baht here.  So the bar’s going to be getting 90 percent of what this babe’s getting. Difference is she’s got to fuck his sorry ass.  The bar doesn’t have to put up with this old fart.

Billie Bob’s going to meet all of us at this bar’s sister club.  He’s bar-fining her already.  But while he’s waiting for the girl to come out of the dressing room, the mamasan comes up to him and asks:

“Can you give me 100 baht tip?”

“Jesus penis”.

Billie Bob’s already laid out 1000 baht on drinks.  For the gin and tonics he’s just guzzled down and the tequilas he’s gotten the girl.  And this mamasan’s asking him for a 100 baht tip?  He also has to pay a 900 baht bar fine?  That’s a hundred dollars for one lousy fuck when you count the 400 baht for the short time room”

“Why should I give you 100 baht tip?” Billie Bob replies scornfully to the greedy mamasan.  “She’s fucking me, and you aren’t.  What are you doing for me?”

First Night’s Outing at the Sister Club

It gets worse.  One hour later we are all at the sister club (three go go bars have the same owner) where we are about to meet the second greedy mamasan.  But while three of us have been to two more go go’s,  Billie Bob’s been doing a short time room with the shapely 31 year old.

I’m having a great time in this sister club. I was here twice in the past two weeks.  First time, one of my cousins was all over this gal as we were all sitting in front of the stage.  I thought she was whipped with ugly stick a plenty.  But he was feeling her up all over.  About then one of the gals who’s dancing before me, sees me getting eye contact with the woman dancing next to her. I’m pretty drunk by now, but I still knows a pretty girl when I sees one.

“Do you want to buy friend me, drink?” the unattractive gal asks me.

“(Sure why not?) Which is not exactly what I said because I knows this bar girl ain’t about to understand all that. “Kap.  I buy drink for pu ying sway mach mach.”

I could probably say all those words in Thai, but why should I bother? Hym…”Pom su kong puying sway mach mach”. Su Kong means buy or something like that. Sway mach mach means very beautiful and Kap means yes. But I’m sure my grammar’s going to be wrong and if it isn’t I will be off in my pronunciation, so why in the hell should I bother.

The pretty girl comes off the stage

and joins me for a drink. It takes all of five minutes to have her in my arms. After two tequilas she’s startin to warm up to me so I start kissing her on her neck.   Her arms break out into goose bumps.

“Ooh”, the girl giggles.  Chocatee.  (I’m ticklish)

I’m having a blast.  And so are the girls.  All of them whose anywhere near us Southern boys.

Then I get the word from someone working for the bar. The word is the girl I’m with is a handful.  Expensive too.  My source points another girl out to me who’s dancing on the stage.  She’s got a trim little body.  The kind I like.

Our second visit to the “Sister Club”.

This was the first time. One week later, the girl I had been with is with another customer. I glance at her a couple times but she acts as if I’m not even there. “Oh well, I’m moving onto my favorite gal. Her name’s “Next”. I’m sitting in the peanut gallery. That’s what I call the 1st and 2nd row of seats startin about five meters from the stage. Billy Bob’s sittin next to me.  He likes the Peanut Gallery because back theres he can feel up the girls with impunity.  But a man can get ignored sittin back there too.  And if he’s not ignored the fat ugly gals tend to come up to me in the Peanut Gallery, uninvited.

Sure enough one of them fat ugly ones comes over to sit with he.  I tell her I must go to the stage to see my girlfriend.  And sure enough, when I take my bin over to the stage, who happens to be there?  The gal recommended to me during my last visit.  Eye contact takes only seconds. She’s dancing right in front of me.  A few minutes later, she’s sitting on my lap drinking tequila with me.

She tells me she’s a 37 year old lady.  But she’s got a real nice ass on her, and a nice shape even if her tits are small.  She’s got a great attitude though.

A few minutes later, the girl I had been with the first time joins us.

“Buy me drink?” she asks

It was all so predictable.

 The girls are going to get 50 baht off each ladies drink I buy them.

My policy in the go go bars is to never buy drinks for two ladies at the same time.  The money goes fast like diarrhea shit down the toilet.

I tell the girl, “Before you my lady.  Right now she my titak (sweetheart).  I only buy drink for tilac now.  Next time maybe you my tilak again.”

Then another girl suddenly appears, which causes me to break my own rule.  She’s been dancing right next to the 37 year old.  Totally nude with her pussy nearly in my face.  She’s got a pretty good body, but I like the 37 year old’s better.  Suddenly I’ve got both girls in my arms. I buy all three of us a tequila.

To justify her existence and my buying her a drink in the first place, this second girl starts feelin my dick.  In fact, both gals are feelin my dick while discussing its attributes in Thai.

“That feels real good,”  I got an idea.”

The other gal’s young.  I can’t remember but I think she’s told me she’s just twenty.  She’s got soft silky skin.  The girl’s totally nude so I can feel her all over.  But I don’t.  I grab her hand, the one that’s already on my dick, and start sliding it up my shorts.  Then I do the same with the thirty-seven year old’s hand.

I tell the girls. “We play game.

Game is “Whose feelin my dick?”

You can all tell where this one’s going. I got one hand from each gal on my dick at the same time.  Or on one of my balls. I now take my hat and cover my eyes with it so that I can’t see a damn thing.  The young twenty year old starts off groping me from the left side of my dick while the 37 year old’s touching it from the right side.  I get the two girls to start changing their hands around.  The younger gal changes her hand position from the left side of my dick to the right side while the older gal slides her grip to the left side.  At first I remove my hat and watch the girls while I try to gain a sense of what each girl’s hand feels like.  Then I put my hat in front of my eyes again.

Sometimes I’m only feelin one hand on my dick.  The younger girl’s hand seems to move more aggressively than the 37 year old’s.  I think this one’s touch is exquisite.

I remove my hat blindfold, and announce to the girls, “okay, that time the hand was yours,” as I point to the older woman.  Your hand felt so soft.  It felt so good.  I bet you could make me come in three minutes.”

“No.  Hand my hand,” the younger girl blurts out.

And so it went. I’d turn out to be wrong more than 50 % of the time. Which didn’t really matter because I was constantly gettin my dick rubbed.  And if I was enjoying myself, the two girls were enjoying themselves even more.

After all, how many guys have played,  which hand is rubbin my dick now?”  With them.  No one.

A few days later

I started thinking to myself, “Should I bar fine the 37 year old or not?” Of the two girls she had the finer ass.  And I had learned that the bar had its own short time rooms upstairs.

Which brings us back to last night.

The 37 year old’s not to be seen anywhere’s.  Billy Bob’s just returned from his fuckin at the Sweethearts short time hotel on Walking Street.  This is where a 32 year old Englishman supposedly jumped out of his room on the third floor and landed on Walking Street at 4 a.m.   He died upon arrival at the hospital. I’m sure this one’s going down as a suicide.

Another Sweethearts short time suicide
A suicide? Yep. After 4 a.m. this 31 year old Brit did a Swan dive onto the Walking Street pavement. Onlookers were terrified when they heard the sickening thud. In my opinion this guy came in here for a short time. Others say he was staying long time in a hotel arrangement. But according to what I’ve gleaned no valuables including a watch or cell phone were found in the room. No money either or that’s what I’ve read.
Odd thing is on Thai Visa it is mentioned that no money, no watch, cell phone or any other valuables were found in his room. I think you already knows my opinion on this one

No valuables or belongings were found in the Brit’s room

But last year on May 14th, 2016 a Scot.

Steve Balfour, age 35, was found dead in his room at Sweethearts.   All identification and his wallet were missing so his body wound up in a morgue for unidentified persons. until it was identified by his tattoos.

Methinks Steve died of old age while the 31 year old Brit’s death was caused from taking flying lessons from an unknown lady boy or other innocent persons who are not lady boys.    As to the missing identifications and valuables from both deaths I personally believe they were carried off by rampaging hungry rats.

Blissful Soi Six Warmup to Walking Street go go action

Earlier I had gone to Soi Six.  But only for a half hour where I ran into one of my German buddies.  We had one beer together while I was having my dick rubbed by a young girl who I already knew.

She kept telling me: “I want to fuck you so bad.  Please fuck me.  I so horny.”

Come hell or high water.  I could not convince my German pal to come with me to Walking Street.  Billy Bob and our Southern American friends are fun.  My German comrade knows this, but he also knows that the Walking Street go go bars constitute a piss poor waste of money.  Unless he goes there after midnight to prey on the babes who are looking for some fucking action in the Discos where there’s no bar fine to be paid.

Third Night at the Sister Club.  Run in with 1 of the Pimping Pattaya mamasans

I had agreed to meet up with Billy Bob and two other guys in the go go bars.  So here I was saddling up to the stage, using myself as bait for anyone interesting who’d just happen to zoom in on me. I was hoping it would be the 37 year old.  But she was nowhere to be seen.  Obviously it was her night off or she was with another customer.  The first girl who I had given goose bumps to wasn’t there either.  But the 20 year old certainly was, dancing in front of me, completely nude.

Obviously she was expectin me to buy her a drink.  And since neither of the other two girls was workin tonight I offered her one.  Soon, she was off that stage standing next to me with another young gal standing next to her.

I know where this one’s going.  Neither girl means a shit to me.  The first girl, the 20 year old is too young to know where her ass ends and her head begins.  This  game’s is to get as many drinks out of me as possible.  And sure enough.   Here it comes.

“Will you buy drink for friend me?”

“Such an original line.  How many times have I heard it?

And now you knows why I like Soi Six so much.”

I decide to buy each of them a drink.  But only one drink unless one of the girls redeems herself.

They order soft drinks.  The kind with no alcohol in them whatsoever.  All this is complete boredom for me.  The same thing happens again and again with the girls all playing the same script.

But I want to know how much it costs to use the short time room upstairs.  I don’t give a squatters ass for either of these two nitwits. I’m thinking of bar fining another gal who works for one of the sister clubs for this place.  Makes sense that since all these girls are workin for the same organization that I can bring a girl from a sister club to use the short time room.

By this time Billie Bob’s joined us. The two girls English skills are so abysmal that they have no clue on what I’m wanting to find out. Mamasan soon joins us to intercept–I mean interpret.

“You want to bar fine lady?” The mamasan asks me.

“No.  Not now. I want to know how much for short time.  I know bar fine is 900 baht.   How much must I pay to use room upstairs?

“You pay 3400 baht,” the mamasan replies. 500 baht for room, 900 baht for bar fine and 2000 baht for tip lady.”

“Cun my Kochai,” I reply. Which means you don’t understand.

I boom boom Billie Bob.  He want 200 baht for boom boom.  We want use room. Toll Rai? (How much?) I ask the mamasan while pointing at Billie Bob.

“Lady costs 3400 baht for boom boom,” the mamasan replies.

“But I don’t want lady.  I want boom boom Billy Bob.”  Then I tell her I’m joking.

She still doesn’t get it.  “Up to me and Billy Bob, what I pay for boom boom.  Not up to you.  How much for room?”

She still doesn’t get it. “Okay, I love lady from other bar. You have three bars with same big boss owner.  I want to bring lady from your other bar to short time.  How much for room?”

“Midai.”  Which means cannot. “Only can boom lady bar here.”

I don’t want to implicate the manager.  The man’s not here tonight. He’s American and we get along well.  This manager has assured me that in his bar it is entirely up to me what I have to pay one of this girls for sex. T o make sure I’ve got the rules straight, I’ve asked him, “So if one of your girls agrees to have short time with me for 500 baht this is okay with your club.”

“Yes, by all means. It is up to you and the girl.”

As I keep sayin, “Don’t deal with Pimping Pattaya mamasans.”  They are worthless scum.

But take it from me, Pimping Pattaya mamasans are only the tip of the iceberg.  Most Thais are completely unwilling to take advice from foreigners or to follow their orders.

For example, if you are a Westerner who’s on the committee running a condo, the Thais who are working for the condo owners and the committee will do all they can to not follow your rules.  They will quit their jobs in a heart beat because in their little minds they are Thai, and therefore superior to any foreigner.

Unfortunately Pattaya is still growing in leaps and bounds.  So there’s always new jobs coming up. They will just up and quit and all because they feel they have lost face just having to put up with a foreigner who’s telling them what to do.  This goes for the staff of hotels too if “their bosses are foreigners”.  It most certainly applies to restaurants whose entire staff oftentimes quits en mass because a Thai employee is not getting his way.

The Soi Six Version of Pimping Pattaya mamasans

There’s a go go bar on Soi Six called “Dolls.” The owner of the place is German or so I’ve been lead to believe.  He’s told me the same thing. Which is it’s entirely up to me and the girl how much I must pay her for her tip.  It used to be that a man only had to pay for the room upstairs which his 500 baht.  Almost all the Soi Six girls ask 1000 baht for short time these days and the price of the room is in nearly all cases just 300 baht.

I once banged a girl at Dolls but when the girl told me she wanted 1000 baht I told her since the room was 200 baht higher than all the other Soi Six rooms, I’d have to pay her just 800 baht.  She accepted.

But times have changed at Dolls Go Go Bar

The owner of Dolls later told me that I’d have to pay his girls at last 1500 baht for short time. Otherwise all the other girls would get angry with the girl doing me for 1000 baht. A few weeks later I got one of the girls to agree with me on a short time for 1000 baht, but then one of those stupid Pimping Pattaya mamasans intervened.  I paid for my drinks and then she wrote a new ticket on which she wrote, 2500 baht. She then explained that 2000 baht was for the girl, 500 baht was for the room.

I told this piss poor excuse for one of those stupid Pimping Pattaya mamasans that the owner had told me that it was up to me and the girl what I had to pay for sex.”

To which the mamasan told me, “He not in charge of this bar.  I am.”

See what I mean. By the time the two young girls started asking me to buy them their next kiddie cocktail, I said to the girl who had been feelin my dick last week. “You want beer or tequila”

“I want drink.”  Which meant I’d be paying 165 baht for kiddie cocktail 1 for this first girl and 165 baht for kiddie cocktail 2 for the 2nd girl.

“Okay. I not buy you drink.  You can have tequila or beer.  Up to you.”

I want drink. Buy me drink.”

“What is this shit?  You think you one of those Stepford Wives?   But I don’t say it aloud.  I know from too much experience that you cannot argue with Thais.

Here’s an example. Suppose you have a girlfriend.

But your girlfriend is one lazy bitch.  She won’t even clean up the kitchen and after a week it starts to get pretty bad.  So you tell her, “Honey, I want you to do better job cleaning kitchen.”

To which she replies, “You want to finish me?  Okay, we finish.”

She’s saying, “I have no interest in improving my behavior  or doing something I should be doing for you.”  She winds up giving you no choice.  It all comes down to  this with most Thai women, “You cannot expect anything of me because if you complain about anything that means that you don’t want me in your life at all.”

Well, I’ve got a lot better things to do than to dabble with these two nitwits. Billy Bob suggests that we go up into the peanut gallery.  I remove my little box on which the little slip showing my drink charges are typed and my drink, and follow Billy Bob up to two vacant seats up in the peanut gallery.  We have one beer together up there while actually having an intelligent conversation now that there’s no go go bar girls present.

Then we leave the bar and Walking Street.

I will spend the next two hours in a small beer bar I often go to.

There I buy one of the girls two or three drinks at beer bar prices while getting a massage.  This girl’s no beauty queen, but she used to work giving massages, and she’s pretty damn good at it.  The music’s pretty good in this little cocktail bar. They’s got You tube up on a big t.v. and there’s a constant flow of music coming from the bar’s sound system I have to admit to getting a lot of satisfaction from buying this old gal a few drinks at reasonable prices. Meanwhile I can guarantee one thing.

Next time I go to that last Walking Street go go bar I’m going to spend time with the 37 year old gal.  Either that or I’m going to be with the 31 year old from this club’s sister club. This young stuff is only for little Thai boys to fool around with or stupid old falang who don’t know shit from shinola.

Uncle Bufford go go bar review 1 (4-21-2017)

Uncle Bufford go go bar review The G Spot

Uncle Bufford go go bar review 1 (4-21-2017 ).  First stop is the G-spot. I like it here because they have happy hour prices till 9:30 or so.

Uncle Bufford go go bar review
I owe it to the world to share what I am thinking about what is really important in this life.

This means I can get two Gin and Tonics for 140 baht, and that’s just enough to get me on my way.  Another thing, it’s not all that high pressure here. If me and my pals just want to drink alone, to save some money, the girls aren’t all that pushy.  And if I want someone, the bar fine’s 900 baht.

That’s not as good as things used to be when go go bar fines were 600 baht.  But here, if a man wants to take a girl long time for an alnighter, the bar fine is still 900 baht.   There’s no bar fine for a one hour short time with a much larger bar fine for long time the way so many go go bars are charging now a days.  Also, the girl and I can set our own price without having the mamasans telling me I must pay her 2000 baht for short time and 3000 long time.

Uncle Bufford go go bar review Crazy House

Billie Bob and I move onto Crazy House.  Billie Bob’s not all the keen on this place anymore.  He says he does not like the stupid uniforms the girls put on now. I want to come here because I just had a sexy girl from G spot all over me. She felt so good and I wanted her so much, but Billie Bob and me had agreed  that neither of us would bar fine anyone tonight.  Anyways, we go to Crazy House because I want to see how good this girl feels compared to the G Spot gal. Luckily she’s there.

I’ve banged her a few times. I’ve also banged the G Spot dancer a few times. The gal from Crazy House is short, but she’s got a great body. She has beautiful breasts that are just large enough to fill a man’s mouth.  She knows it too.  And she uses this to her fullest advantage. If she’s had enough tequila she will just put her pussy on full display. Sometimes she will just lie down on her back pointing it upwards at the ceiling.  It’s hard for a man to keep his eyes away. She’s got raw sex appeal and she’s totally brazen about it.

Gouging the customers for drinks

She gets 50 baht for each ladies drink. So the bar bill mounts up in a hurry especially when she’s asking you to buy two tequilas.  One for yourself and one for her.  And that seems to be the main point of her game.  Pretty soon your bin is 1000 baht and if you stick around a little longer it’s soon going to be 2000 baht.  Buy her out of the bar costs a 1000 baht bar fine now.  Before Christmas it was 800 baht. But Christmas is prime time for the bars to really gouge their customers.  For Crazy House, it’s still Christmas even though it’s now almost May.

I can’t prove it, but I think Mamasan is telling this girl to finish her short times in 45 minutes or less. The short time rooms are just across the street.  Ohm likes to get the short time over with as soon as she can.  And then she tries to get the customer to come back to the bar to buy her even more drinks.

She feels so good perched up on my lap.

Then she feels my dick.  Ohm knows only too well that it’s good and hard.  But I had a huge hard on while I was with the G Spot dancer.  I buy her one tequila.  Within five minutes she’s asking for a second one.  While still sitting on my lap she opens her legs a little.  My hand’s right there. She wiggles her hips a little and lowers herself onto my hand. She is almost impossible to resist and she knows it.  But I had promised Billy Bob I would not bar fine anyone tonight.

I leave it at just two drinks for her, and then I tell the waitress, “Check bin.” Ohm asks me to buy her one more drink. But I politely refuse. Then I ask her to meet me outside the bar in a few days so I won’t have to bar fine her.  She twists her face in disapproval.  But I already know how mercenary she is.  She’s after all the commission money she can get off each drink her customers buy.  If she meets me outside her bar, she’s not going to get any drink commissions.  “How can you be such a cheap charlie?” her disdainful look tells me.

The other girl knows the go-go bars are fucking over the customers.

Tourists don’t know any better but the guys who live here all the time sure as hell do.  Most of the go go bars are operating like machines in order to squeeze out as many drinks as they can from their customers. The way it usually works is the girl is given 10, maybe 15 minutes to sit with a customer, and then she’s called back to the stage where she must take her turn dancing.  If she likes her customer or is getting enough drinks out of him, she will return to order more drinks from him. If he appears drunk or new at the game other women join her. She tells customers one of them is her sister. “Can you buy sister me, drink?” she asks.  But once a customer shows he’s generous with his money mamasan will also appear and ask him for a drink also.

On Lady Drinks The G-Spot is much more laid back

Crazy House is a hands on  fun house.  It’s also about as high pressure as it gets when it comes to milking a customer dry for drinks.  G Spot operates differently.  Once customers are slow to get them the next drink, girls like Ohm will drop them in a minute to find a new customer or just to run off to chat with the other girls. Over at the G Spot, a typical girl will allow her customer to take his time and drink at his own pace. Dawn will usually not even ask a man to buy her a drink. But since she seems so good-natured, I won’t hesitate a minute to buy her a drink. I get the feeling from Dawn that she’s on my side. Or that we are both on the same side.  I just keep getting great vibes from her.

I’ve now been in the very closest proximity to both girls which is exactly the way I had planned it. Both of them turn me on. It’s about an equal contest. But I prefer Dawn. I get the feeling that she’s really with me.  But with Ohm I feel like I’m a target.

Police cause Soi Six girl to go to Korea for 3 months

My thoughts turn to my favorite Soi Six girl. She’s gone to Korea for three months because she’s not been making enough money on Soi Six on account of the police. She tells me that things have gotten so bad on Soi Six that the bars are no longer allowing the girls to short time their customers in the upstairs rooms.

This has not really applied to me, however. Many of the bars know me and trust me not to call the police if I see a falang take a girl upstairs. This doesn’t help Lee any.  I remember a couple of years ago taking a girl upstairs in Route 69 Bar when the bartender required me to leave my cell phone with the bar.

I learned afterwards that this was to keep me from calling the police

after getting naked in the room with the girl. Two weeks later the girl from Club 69 told me I could not take her upstairs so she got a motorbike taxi to take us to a short time hotel about 1 kilometer from the bar.

I really Miss Lee who I met at Red Point

She’s around 168 centimeters or around five foot six.  Which is tall for a Thai woman and she’s got gorgeous breasts, the equal of Ohm’s but they are much larger. The most important thing about her is she’s completely devoted to making me come.  Not just once, but two times or even three times if I still got the urge. And nothing’s off limits with her. Even if she doesn’t like it she at least acts like she enjoys French kissing.

Having sex with her usually takes an hour with all the foreplay and after play. There’s none of this, “fuck me now (as I look at my watch). Sadly, Ohm’s wearing a watch on both of her wrists.

It’s time for the next bar though.  I tell Billy Bob, “Well, Ohm’s now made 100 baht for the two ladies drinks I’ve just bought her. Maybe now she will start to think about really considering meeting me outside the bar.  It’s doubtful, however.”

Mystified at Misty’s

We hit a couple more clubs. One of them’s Misty’s. I know one of the girls quite well there. Only one week ago she was living in my condo building. But the falang who had taken her out of the bar didn’t want her in the end. He stopped paying her. As expected she left him.  Billie Bob and I saw her getting off a motorbike taxi in front of the club. I called her name out three times, but she never answered me. She never even saw me.  I don’t remember ever seeing a go go dancer that fucked up in my life.

Billie Bob and I sit drinking our beers in a booth that had its own mini stage and dancing pole. I tell the waitress that I wan to buy a drink for the young girl who used to live in my condo building. Five minutes later the waitress comes back to tell me that the girl is not coming to join us.  I can’t fathom why.  The waitress merely shakes her head as if she were just as mystified as I was.

 Fifteen minutes later we finish our drinks and check bin.

“She’s over there,” said Billy Bob. “If you want to say hello to her before we leave now’s your chance.  On our way out of the club, I approach her while she was talking to another girl next to the main stage.

“We have to leave now.  I wanted to buy you a drink earlier,” I tell the girl.

She looks up at me through glassy eyes. She barely recognizes me but at least she knows it’s me. Boy, is she fucked up.

The falang who had forced her out of his condo is a complete idiot. She’s only 19 but I always had good feelings about her. I don’t think she was ever cut out for this kind of work. I really don’t know but my gut feeling is that she’s simply not wired for having to fuck whichever customer comes along. She had just lost her boyfriend who had at least started out giving her a steady income and a nice place to live. But she had lost all that, and maybe that’s why she is so screwed up tonight.

She’s only 19. I think she probably regards having to fuck so many disagreeable asshole falang like most people might view  shoveling cow shit for a living.

Uncle Bufford go go bar review God Awful Da Da Music at Super Girls

Billie Bob and I split up and I go alone over to Super Girls. Drinking a bottle of Heineken while sitting in front of the stage, I have to listen to one very loud da da song after another. I couldn’t stand more than fifteen minutes of this punishment and it would not  matter how many good looking girls were hanging around me or how many of them are feeling my cock.  It is time for the final bar for the night.

Uncle Bufford go go bar review Taboo Club

Taboo must be about the last go go bar on your left near the end of Walking Street at Pattaya Tai. I had never been in the place, but about a week ago, a woman had run after me, calling out my name as I started off for my first go go of the night.

The woman had been one of the mamasans at Super Babes and Super Girls. I didn’t buy many girls drinks at Super Babes, but I did like a waitress who must have been in her mid thirties and possibly as old as forty. I oftentimes drank tequilas with the waitress and the mamasan, who I found to be at least as attractive as some of the better looking girls. So I decide to go in to look for the ex mamasan.

She’s nowhere to be found and by this time I’m pretty well on my way to la la land. The club is long and narrow. There’s no seating in the front section so I find myself being escorted to the back of the club. I might have had a girl or two try to get my attention but they aren’t very attractive. Suddenly I have to go to the restroom.

It is a coed rest room. Which is pretty cool because on many occasions I find myself meeting the nicest women in the toilets of Pattaya’s finest go go establishments.  There was the “Beautiful Pattaya Toilet girl from Crazy House” for example, and every so often I can’t  keep getting my mind off her.  While pondering my thoughts while pissing in the urinal I hear an angry voice behind me.

“Don’t pee on the floor.”

It’s one of the cleaning gals who spend about half their time cleaning up after the customers in the toilet. I look down and sure enough there is a small puddle of water near my feet. Then I look at myself and observed how close my penis is to the urinal.

It all looks alright to me. My dick is over the center of the urinal. I don’t believe I could have been pissing on the floor. There’s two cleaning women in the toilet. I reply, “Look at my dick. My dick not pee on the floor. Customer who come before me piss on floor.”

“No. You pee pee on the floor.”

“No I didn’t. Look at my dick. It is a very good dick and see how it make water over the urinal. Come over and Look. Customer before me, he bad man.”

By the time I’m going back to my beer hating the place. “That cleaning lady, just hate falang customers,” I think to myself. “Even if I was pissing on the floor it is not her place to be getting so angry about it. That’s what she is getting paid for so fuck her.”

I check bin and then I head out of the club towards to front door. Then I see her.

The ex mamasan  is now a service girl.

At the last minute I decide not to leave this club.  I  order two drinks from the ex mamasan, one for me and one for her.  She takes me to a small table.  Suddenly I’ve got three or four go-go girls all around me, all of them asking me for a drink.

“I cannot buy all of you a drink, so I will choose just one of you.”

She is pretty damn attractive but I am really drunk now. She has a great body.  At least in my drunken stupor she seems to have a beautiful figure.

I drink there until almost two and then I head home. The next night as I walk past Club Taboo one of the greeter girls standing outside the club calls out to me.

“I remember you from last night.”

“Was I very mal?” I asked her.

“You very very mal (drunk), the girl replied.

Too bad that I can’t remember if she was the girl sitting with me.

In tomorrow night’s Uncle Bufford go go bar review I will meet a stunner who reminds me of the beautiful Walking Street toilet girl from Crazy House.  I am warned to stay away from her, but will I?  I am Uncle Bufford and I am not normal.

Pattaya go go bar Mamasans extorting commissions from their bar girls

Pattaya go go bar Mamasans are getting commissions to rip customers off who pay their bar girls for sex.  This is a leading cause for exorbitant short and long time prices in the Walking Street go go bars.

Pattaya go go bar Mamasans send many girls here
Upstairs is a short time hotel. If a man brings a Walking Street go go girl here he must pay 400 baht for one hour’s fun. But if he comes alone or brings a girl who’s not a Walking Street sex worker he only pays 300 baht. Upon arrival the girl gets a receipt from the receptionists. THe question is, who gets the 100 baht commission?  Is it  the go go dancer, the Pattaya go go bar Mamasans or the go go bar itself?

Most Pattaya go go bar Mamasans are now asking their customers to pay 2000 baht for short time and 3000 baht for long time.  In fact many mamasans won’t even ask.  They will simply write a bill out for the bar girl’s 2000 or 3000 baht tip plus a bar fine of 1000 or 1500 baht.   Mamasan’s not about to let the girl leave even if she’s already agreed to go with her customer for a lot less.  But it didn’t used to be that way.

Only a few years back, the typical bar fine for a Pattaya Walking Street go go girl was 600 baht.  The 600 baht gave the customer the right to take the go go girl out of the bar.  Same goes for beer bars where even today the bar fine is usually only 300 baht.  After the bar fine’s paid, what they do and how much the girl gets paid  has always been between the girl and the customer.   Only a few years ago, the going rate was 1000 baht for short time.  Long time meant all night for between 1500 and 2000 baht.

But times have changed my friends keep telling me.  “You will never be able to short time a go go girl for only 1000 baht,” they keep telling me.  On this they are half right.  They can’t get by paying less than 2000 baht for short time because they don’t believe in themselves.  Which is perfectly understandable due to most of them not being able to think logically.   So here’s my logic about the old 1000 baht benchmark for short time sex.

Practically everyone frequenting the Walking Street go go bars today fall into two categories.  The first are the tourists.  Tourists simply don’t know any better.  Therefore they are ripe targets for scheming bar girls, and the Pattaya go go bar Mamasans.

The second are the expats who actually live here.  Such expats fall into two categories.  1.  Those who are on Walking Street  to show their newcomer friends around and 2. Those who come to get a little excitement from prettier girls than they are finding in the beer bars.   I view this later group of expats as voyeurs.  As voyeurs they venture into the go go’s for a little touchie feelie or to watch a bunch of sexy gals dance naked.   These guys are totally satisfied with being voyeurs because they fail to understand that most of the women they meet in the go go bars are not getting bar fined very often.

Putting unrelenting pressure on customers to buy ladies drinks is the Holy Grail

For the most part go go bars have become impersonal mechanisms for extracting as much money from their customers in the shortest time possible.  The routine is nearly always the same in many go go bars.  Some of the girls are dancing on the stage.  A few are sitting around waiting for their turn to replace the girls who are already dancing.   A customer or a group of customers comes in, and the girls start eyeing him like a pack of dogs panting for a bone.  For the girls the holy grail is to pressure the new arrivals into buying them as many drinks as possible.

Pattaya go go bar Mamasans and their Pack gang up on their prey

So here’s the routine.  A girl sits next to her prey.  Within five minutes she asks him to buy her a drink.  When the drink arrives, the prey suddenly realizes she’s ordered a coke, sprite or other soft drink.  If it’s alcohol she orders a very weak cocktail.  Five minutes later she’s asking for a 2nd no alcohol or low alcohol ladies drink.  But by this time the pair are joined by one or two more go go girls who are also asking the prey to buy them drinks.  About this time one of the friendliest, most thoughtful Pattaya go go bar Mamasans  joins the table.  She feels entitled to a drink also.

If the customer doesn’t keep buying his new companion a drink every five minutes the mamasan asks her to take another turn on the stage.  It’s all a concerted effort to extract as many drinks as possible out of each customer in the shortest amount of time possible.  And each time the customer buys a lady’s drink, the chief lady predator will get a 50 baht commission from the go go bar.  Oftentimes a mamasan keeps hovering over the new customer’s table like a vulture on a mission to keep the ladies drinks flowing.

Mamasan won’t get her tip money when the girl only charges 1000 baht for boom boom

But when the customer finally decides to bar fine his “new girl”, the mamasan steps into the middle of the ring to officiate.  Although I might oftentimes get the go go girl to agree to a 1000 baht short time,  a mamasan suddenly appears to tell me that I must pay the girl 2000 baht.  Thinking this through for myself I concluded that although a lot of go go girls wanted to go short time with me for 1000 baht, the mamasans kept intruding for a reason.  Since in almost all things in Pattaya Money is number one, I concluded that the mamasans were extorting commissions out of the girls and they could hardly do that if I was only paying the girls 1000 baht.

Mamasan, why should I buy you a drink?  You’re not the one fucking me

So here’s what all this comes down to.  And several times I’ve actually told mamasans this when they had the audacity to ask me for tips.  “This girl is about to fuck me.  You aren’t.”  Truth is most of these Walking Street go go bar mamasans are as useless as tits on a boar.

The other night I was at Supergirls.  For shits and grins I asked a girl if she ever had to tip the mamasan when she went short time with a customer.  Her answer was an unequivocal yes.  100 baht.  And there is no longer a normal bar fine at Supergirls.  There’s a short time bar fine.  And there’s a long time bar fine.  I think the long time bar fine is 1500 baht.  The whole idea is to push the short times so that the girls keep coming back to the go go club so that they can extract even more ladies drinks from the customers.

There used to be a waitress at Misty’s.  Her bar fine was 800 baht whereas all the dancers’ barfines were 1500 baht (up from the 600 baht barfine from just a few years ago).   The first time Billie Bob bar fined her, she stayed with him an hour and a half in the short time room.  I think she really liked Billie Bob.  She kept showing him all kinds of pictures of herself, her friends and her children in the short time room until Billie Bob finally told her he had run out of time.   But the next few times Billie Bob bar fined her, she’d tell him mamasan wanted her back in the bar waitressing.

Annie despises the go go bar mamasans

We met Annie years ago on Soi Six.  Annie’s just one reason no one can tell me that Walking Street go go girls are more attractive   or nicer than Soi Six girls.   Annie was a 800-1000 baht girl but now that she’s graduated to the big leagues over on Walking Street, she’s now the real deal  2000-3000 baht go go queen.

But Annies a straight shooter.  Billie Bob was sure that he could bang her over on Walking Street for 1000 baht.  She had done him before  for just 800 baht.  So Annie agrees on doing a short time with him for 1000 baht.  But along comes Mamasan and she tells Annie and Billie Bob that he must pay 2000 baht short time.  But Billie Bob’s real smart you see.  That’s on account of my training him.  He tells Mamasan that he and Annie are old friends from way back.  To her credit Annie agrees with him.

“Yeah, me and Annie here, we same same brother and sister.  We know each other since we were babies,”  Billie Bob tells the mamasan, the waitress and one of the bar boys.  “And see him”, Billie Bob points to the bar boy.  “He pi chai me.”  (My younger brother).

What Annie doesn’t tell Billie Bob is she’s tipping three mamasans 100 baht each.  I suppose she felt she had to do it in order for the mamasans to allow her to leave the bar for less than 2000 baht.   Which leads me to the following conclusion.

You Japanese are the ones at fault

I’m going to blame a lot of this on you Japanese.  And for two reasons.  First, you aren’t here with me to defend yourselves as I write these words of truth.  The second is, you guys keep trying to be polite.  Which is a big mistake because most of you shouldn’t be polite to all these Walking Street go go bar predators.  There are a lot of you, Japanese, frequenting the go go bars on Walking Street.  You tend to go in groups to the go go’s.  For many of you–Your English and your Thai language skills are definitely lacking. Which means you face real problems  communicating with the go go girls.

This provides the Pattaya go go bar mamasans their opportunity to intercede in your behalf.  But be forewarned.  They aren’t there to help you guys.  And they aren’t there to help their bar girls either.  Just remember, unlike Japan, on Walking Street money is number one.  Watch out for the friendly mamasan who appears to be looking out for you.   She’s getting commissions from the girls for the deals she’s making for you.    You get the nicely wrapped up packaged deal of 2000 baht short time or 3000 plus long time.  But you are really getting the shaft.    And you wind up paying double or triple what I have to pay.   As for many of my pals.  Well, let’s just say it’s a case of monkey see, monkey do.

Pattaya go go bar Mamasans

It is my firm belief that Pattaya go go bar Mamasans  are going to favor those girls who tip them well.  And for those who don’t–the mamasans are simply going to let them wither on the vine.  Such uncooperative girls will be ignored by the mamasans and service girls who work directly under them.

Go Go dancers who don’t tip the mamasans will get the worse opportunities to hunt Japanese

When Pattaya go go bar Mamasans require the girls to demand 2000 baht short and 3000 baht long times from their customers, most of them will jump to appease their mamasans.

Truth is,  most Pattaya go go bar Mamasans are causing the girls to make less money than they would if the mamasans  suddenly ceased to exist.  Most of the girls are not getting bar fined very often.  But they would if the mamasans would allow them to set their own prices.  Some of the go go girls despise the mamasans so much that they revel with delight from cutting the go go bar out of its bar fines and high priced drinks.  Under one condition, however.  Provided you, Mr. Customer, cut them a square deal.

To find out more about how Walking Street go go bars are  operating check out:

Pattaya coyote girls now taking over Walking Street

Mr Walking Street meets high quality Soi Six Girl