The most unforgettable Thai girl  from either Walking Street or Soi Six would be my Holy Grail tonight.

I was in a rotten mood. I’ve just been working too hard, and I had just seen the Bangkok Post main headline that read “Thailand would be distancing itself from Western countries while seeking much closer ties to Russian and China. Such stupidity was beyond belief. The country had gotten completely hopeless. Even worse, was the lot of my fellow Americans who actually believe men like Ted Cruze or a DeRubio were worthy of being head of anything, let alone winning the presidency.

And like an uncontrollable cancer, the Chinese were everywhere

in Pattaya, with their tour buses clogging up the streets like an incurable case of hardening of the arteries. I set out to get drunk. But while I was at it, I’d review a few Walking Street go-go bars.  With luck, I just might meet a truly unforgettable Thai girl tonight.

I hadn’t been in a Walking Street go-go bar for at least three months.

Not since bar fining the tall girl from Crazy House only to find her three weeks later working at the new Soi Six go-go bar where I could have banged her for half the Walking Street price. Good looking as she was, she just didn’t measure up to the best Soi Six girls. So I never banged her again. But I also had not seen my unladyboy favorite for nearly two weeks and had figured she had gone long time with a customer. She’d be a difficult one to equal, anywhere, at any time no matter what the price I might be willing to pay. I’d meet Billy Bob on Walking Street at 8:30 but tonight I had a little time to kill so I went to Soi Six around 7.

I really didn’t have enough time to be banging someone from Soi Six.

That would take me around an hour in a short time room. So I made a point of choosing a place that I normally didn’t frequent. Seeing four or five decent looking babes outside the go-go bar looking for customers, I decided to go in for a beer. Even if the price was too damn high. Deliberately avoiding eye contact with any of the girls standing in front of the go-go, I made a beeline straight for the bar inside. Without even as much as a glance at the bar girls inside the club, I immediately snapped up a bar stool and ordered a beer from the waitress, while hoping that none of the girls who had been looking for customers outside the bar had followed me inside.

None of them had. But another girl had appeared out of nowhere. Suddenly she was standing right up next to me.

I had been with her before, but only once.

That was two months ago when I had banged three different girls in rapid succession. She had been number two. It had been the first night I had gone to Dolls, the only go go on Soi Six. The place was charging five hundred baht for the short time room upstairs. Since all the other Soi Six bars were charging just three hundred baht for the rooms, I had decided that paying two hundred baht extra was simply against my morals.

The girl had wanted 1000 baht for short time, so when I explained to her that her bar was the only place that charged 500 baht for a room she agreed to lower her price to 800 baht. So I had taken her upstairs with my pride still intact from not being taken advantage of. She had been nice.

And she still was nice. She was exactly what I needed to restore a semblance of faith in Thailand. She had a nice look in her eyes without that hint of treachery so many girls have. I held her close to me while buying her a drink. She was slender, and a bit on the tall side.  But there was a certain resonance emanating from her body that is difficult to explain. I suppose it can be called a comfort zone of femininity. Or more likely it was the certainty in my own mind that if I took her upstairs that she would stay with me for as long as I wanted her. She’d have no time limit on her clock.

I really wanted to short time her, but my clock was running

and since I had not been drinking with Billy Bob for several months, I simply had to be down on Walking Street on time. And starting up my Uncle Bufford go-go bar reviews again was extremely important to me. I had stapled several small pieces of paper together which I had inserted into my top pocket along with a ball point pen. Then I reached into my bar bin to look at my bill and saw that my beer had cost me 120 baht. I then wrote down the name of the go go bar and the price of the beer and showed the girl what I was doing.

“Honey. I love you too much, but I must go down to Walking Street to meet a friend. I then repeated “friend” to her, this time in Thai so that I was sure she understood. Then I wrote number one down on the slip of paper. Showing this to her, I explained, “You number one tonight. (Yenee in Thai I repeated to her). I go now Walking Street. Me no like Walking Street. Friend I like go go too much.  Maybe I come see you later.

“You see me later?”

“Maybe. Fifty-fifty. “Pom my go hoak.” Which means “I do not lie.”

“I hope so. I wait for you,” the girl replied.

But once again I repeat to her, “Fifty-fifty. Maybe yes. Maybe no. But I think you number one lady tonight. Lady at #1  go go be number two lady. Lady at number three go-go be number three lady but you be most unforgettable Thai girl.  I’m almost sure of this,” I tell her.

And truthfully, I really meant what I had said. She was just the shot in the arm I needed. And she had felt so good on my arm.

***

I was in the baht taxi only two hundred meters from Walking Street when Billy Bob called me to explain that he could meet me in ten minutes.

“Where shall we meet though? I’m up to just about anywhere you’d like to go to first,” I said.

“Let’s meet at Super Girls.

Since you made a point earlier that you wanted to spend a little quality time there.”

***

I arrived a few minutes before Billy Bob. The waitress wanted to seat me back somewhere at a table far from the stage, but I didn’t care what she wanted to do. So I took a seat right in the center of the row of bar stools in front of the stage. There were a number of girls behind my bar stool waiting for their turn to dance, and here I could also get the best view of all the girls on the stage. I ordered a beer. Five minutes later, Billy Bob entered the bar.

There must have been around a dozen girls dancing in front of us, if you could really call what they were doing dancing. They were just going through the motions. Each girl had a number, so if a customer wanted to buy a girl a drink he could identify the girl to the waitress or mamasan by her number. Or, he could simply make contact directly with the girl and motion to her that he wanted her to come down off the stage for a drink.

But of the dozen girls on the stage not one of them was up to my requirements.

I noted also that Super Girls was now charging 140 baht for a bottle of beer whereas several months ago the go-go had been charging 130 baht.

It used to be that Super Girls had been charging 120 baht. Unlike some of the other go-go bars there were no early bird or happy hour specials or glasses of draft for fifty baht or so. Beer cost 120 baht a bottle and that was that.

But to Super Girls credit whereas it used to be one of the highest priced places on Walking Street for beers, it had continued the same pricing policy for years. Other go go bars had started up to replace those that had gone out of business, and

most of these go go bars were charging 140 to 150 baht a bottle.

Relatively speaking Super Girls had gotten to be a good deal. For Walking Street that is. Most Soi Six bars were charging just 85 to 95 baht a bottle with the new go-go bar being one of the few exceptions.

I remarked to Billy Bob. “They are now charging 140 baht a beer here. I suppose this place has woken up to the fact that now that it’s having far fewer customers that it must charge more to each customer. Thai logic. Everywhere else in the world if the demand for customers goes down the price must go down also in order to get them to come back. But not here in Thailand, where the thinking is 180 degrees opposite to what Westerners think on almost everything.

By this time a pretty girl had joined Billy Bob. He had known her from Crazy House. Three months ago, she had been the only girl to join our little group. She was also just about the best looking girl in the go-go bar. She still was.

“It looks like I will have to buy a girl a drink just so that I can ask her what she charges for short time and what the bar fine is,” I told Billy Bob.

“Well here,

they charge you 800 baht to rent the girl and you can rent her for two hours. But there’s also 1500 baht you must pay.

But they really don’t call it a bar fine.”

“So it costs a total of 2300 baht to bang the girl,” I replied.

“Yes. That’s it. I don’t like it because Super Girls limits you to just 2 hours with the girl. There’s an additional charge if you want to take the girl long time.”

“I don’t like it either. Because I can probably if I try hard enough, get the price lower than that. And I don’t like a bar trying to force me to pay whatever price it decides I must pay. That should be between me and the girl.”

“Yes. Exactly.”

I used to pay Super Girls a 600 baht bar fine, and I got six different girls to go with me back to my condo for 1000 baht.

“I’ll bet the Japanese customers were paying double what I had been paying. But what the hell. They don’t know what they are doing, and I do.”

Suddenly the bar called all the girls who had been sitting behind us  up to the stage along with several girls who had been sitting with customers.  Then they dimmed the lights.  Moments later they   turned the lights up again.  After several minutes all the girls stepped off the stage and started circling the room so that all the customers could get a good look at all the girls in the place. None of them as much as looked at Billy Bob or me.

Then the new shift took over.

The girls were much prettier in this shift

. I nearly called one of them down to have a drink with me. But I never got eye contact with her. But the prettiest girl of them all had her face pointed ninety degrees away from me. So I couldn’t get a good look at her face. But her body looked almost exactly like my unladyboy girlfriend’s down on Soi Six. For a moment I thought it was really her.

“See that girl up there in the back row in black, Billy Bob. She looks just like my friend down on Soi Six. She’s got the same shape, but I think she’s a little shorter. She’s the best one out there.”

“That’s my friend, Noi,” Billy Bob replied.  “She was just sitting with us.”

“No shit. I couldn’t tell because she’s got her face turned off to the side. You should bang her, Billy Bob.  If you haven’t already.”

A few minutes later, Noi was down off the stage with Billy Bob. Suddenly she looked over at me and started gesturing towards the girls on the stage. “You want lady?” she asked me.

“No thanks,” I replied. You are the prettiest girl in the bar. So I don’t want any of those girls up there.  You are the only one who ever could be the most unforgettable Thai girl of the night.

Truth is, I didn’t feel like any of those girls deserved a chance with me.

Or a drink for that matter. There were seven girls sitting behind us, all without customers. And all of them were too lazy to even give us a glance.

The girls up on the stage were no better. I started scribbling notes onto the slip of paper I had in my shirt pocket. But now that I think about it, the girls really didn’t have much choice in the matter.

In general Thai girls are pretty friendly.

But at Super Girls, I knew that the girls were trained to cater to Japanese and Korean customers

who did not like aggressive women. So they would typically avoid eye contact or making any efforts to come onto the customers, unlike a lot of the girls in so many other go-go bars. I could easily get a lot of the girls to come out of their little shells but tonight I just didn’t feel like making the effort.

The place was getting to be pretty boring so it didn’t take much to get Billy Bob to agree to leaving–at once.

“Where to next?” Billy Bob asked me.

“I don’t know. You are the man who likes go go bars so much so I’ll go wherever you suggest.”

“We could go to the Lighthouse.”

The girls there are the best looking, but it’s not hands on. Crazy House is hands on.”

“I’ve never done anything with any of the Light House girls,” I replied, other than one time that I remember a very hot number sitting with me and trying to fleece me out of a lot of drinks. But Crazy House…I’ve bar fined a couple from there before, and usually have a pretty good time.”

So, Crazy House it was.

A waitress seated us.  Ten minutes later I noticed an attractive girl’s eyes boring down on me from the stage. They were hungry eyes. Hungry for my money.  And those hungry eyes were relentless. Only if I looked away from her did I notice their absence.

“I know how this one is going to go,” I told myself. “I’ve been targeted.

Every time I glanced back in her direction, I saw those eyes just drinking me in. Every time a new song was played the girls would shift positions. While the girl at the far end of the stage came off the stage she was replaced by the girl to her immediate right.

In short order the girl with the hungry eyes was dancing directly in front of me. It was nearly impossible to look away from her now. There was no way out of this one. Within ten minutes it would be her turn to walk down off the stage and then she’d be right over at my table asking me if she could sit with me. But she was good looking and I had to face up to the fact that she couldn’t take her eyes off me. And who could blame her?  I was after all, Uncle Bufford.

And by this time I had enough to drink to have really gotten full of myself.

So I faced up to the inevitable and motioned  her to come right off the stage to have a drink with me. After all, why wait? If you gotta do something, just do it and don’t waste any time.

Obviously, this girl didn’t have many inhibitions, but I decided not to take any chances. So I strongly suggested to her, “You want tequila don’t you?”

For a moment she seemed plunged in thought, most likely thinking of some sort of weak lady drink she could order instead. So I decided to press my advantage. “You really like Tequila don’t you. I buy you Tequila, okay.”

It worked. She was probably a coyote girl with a 10 day shift 

and a fifty lady’s drink quota to fill. I figured that I had her where I wanted her instead of the other way around. It would turn out that I’d be right. This time I’d be in control, not her.

Her eyes kept sucking me in. And not one to argue, I looked right back into them, and then I lowered my head and kissed her right on the lips. She responded avidly and I pressed onward. “This was no time to be shy. I’m going full bore. And I’m not about to let up.”

I kissed her on the corners of her mouth. Then I gently kissed her ear with my tongue. The nipple on her left breast came next. Then it was time for another tequila only this time I had one with her.

It didn’t matter what we were doing or how often we were doing it.

Her eyes–her eyes simply did not let up.

They kept telling me, “Don’t stop now. Don’t’ let up. Give me the best that you’ve got.” That’s when I decided to give her my wallet.

“What’s your barfine?” I ask her.

“800 baht.”

So, she’s not a coyote. It’s not even ten o’clock yet so if she’s a coyote her bar fine is likely to be 1500 baht. The least it could be would be 1000 baht. She’s a house dancer then. I had met several house dancers at Crazy House before and all of them had 800 baht bar fines. Twice I had barfined coyote girls but since I had taken them for short time out of the bar after 11, the bar fine had dropped to 1000 baht, which is far too much. I was on roll tonight and decided to go for it.

“Tell you what, I’ll give you 1500 baht for short time. I give bar 800 baht bar fine. You get from me neune pan ha roy baht.”

To this she immediately agreed.

Then she told me. “You no tell anyone you pay to me 1500 baht. Okay?”

It was the face thing. Truth is most of the girls down in the Walking Street go go bars are not getting bar fined. For them 1500 baht in the pocket for one hour in a short time room is an incredibly good deal. But take it from me, for most Thais money is really not number one. Face is number one, So a girl working in a go go bar must never admit to the other girls that she’s actually boom booming for 1500 baht, or even worse 1000 baht. And now that I look back on it, I think I could have gotten this girl to go with me for 1000 baht.

Right across the street’s the short time rooms. It now costs 400 baht to rent a room for short time. As I paid out 400 baht the girl asked me, “Do you have a condom?”

“Of course not. Just ask the cashier for a condom. She will give us one.” (But most likely charge us fifty or a hundred baht). At this point I didn’t care. Obviously though, the fact that I already knew I could easily get a condom from one of the employees and the girl apparently didn’t, meant that she was just as she claimed she was, new to the Walking Street go go bars.

We were in the short time room for well over one hour.

I took my own sweet time in coming. And when I finished I still remained deep inside her. And then I fucked her again. I’m sure she would have stayed in that room with me two hours if I had asked her to.

I took her back to the Crazy House where I bought her one or  two more drinks while relaxing with a beer or two .

As deserving as she was the slender Soi Six girl would not get my most “unforgettable  bar girl” of the night award.

But I still had several hours of time on my hands. It was time to move on and try to continue the excitement somewhere else. I could still get down to Soi Six and manage another hour there before its bars would close. Instead I decided to go to Mistys Go Go  to look for War, the waitress I liked who I had not seen for a year.

My friends had told me War was no longer working at Mistys but I’ve often found that a girl will leave the bar for a few months, and then she will suddenly return to the bar she had started at.

War had always appeared a little frumpy in the unsexy waitress’s outfit

she had been forced to wear while working for the go-go. She had even appeared to be short–about five foot two or so. Until the first time I short timed her and I saw her undressing in the short time room. She was tall for a Thai woman, around five foot five and her body was as nearly as perfect as it gets.

War had always liked me also and once had asked me to go out with her during Songkran when there would be no bar fine to pay. But she wasn’t there tonight so I took a seat in front of the stage next to a girl who was sitting there just relaxing watching the other girls dance. I soon learned that War had stopped working at the bar and that she was not coming back.

Higher than a kite from the terrific time I had just had in the Walking Street short time room, I was ready for about anything. But this did not include getting fleeced at Misty’s.

I had once spent 5000 baht at one of the booths in the back of the room while two coyote girls blew me

But after that, the club had my number, especially the mamasan. The name of the game had become getting me into one of the back booths with preferably more than one girl. It had happened to me several times with at least one girl pulling my dick out of my shorts. The girl would then invite other girls to feel my “big dick”. Sometimes as many as four or five girls would be getting a cheap feel off me.

One time the girl on my left had been chewing gum. The girl on my right, who I infinitely preferred, was giving me a great blow job,

but the other girl kept wanting to get equal time on my penis. The equal time stopped when the second girl suddenly started choking on a wad of chewing gum that had gotten stuck in her mouth. What happened was the girl on my left had gotten chewing gum all over my pubic hair matting it in a sticky mass.  The chewing gum had then gotten stuck in the second girl’s mouth while she was sucking my dick.

What to do? Luckily I had my Swiss Army knife in my pocket.

Pulling it out I whipped out the smaller of the two cutting blades and started to cut my pubic hair and all the chewing gum that had gotten stuck to it off. Since the blade was razor sharp, the Swiss Army knife had made swift work out of what would have otherwise been an impossible task. “Let the blow jobs continue,” I told the girl on my right. War had seen this, and so had the mamasan, and several other girls. I’m sure that I developed an unequaled reputation at Misty’s that night.

The go go dancer on my right had finished me off.  She had a great body.  She was fun.  But she was also a coyote. That meant her barfine would be 1500 baht unless I barfined her very late at night when it would be 1000.  So she was out of the question.   But War’s barfine was just 800 baht. She was only the waitress after all.

So I started implementing my new policy–the policy of War.

First off I made it my cardinal rule to never go back to the booths to the rear of the room where the coyotes could gang me. I’d ask as soon as I came into Misty’s, “Is War working tonight?” If she was, I’d stay. And if she wasn’t, I’d immediately leave and go to another go-go bar.

When War was working, I’d immediately seek her out and tell her I was buying her a drink. But I made is clear that I was buying drinks for her and no one else. I’d also take a seat at the stage where the coyote girls couldn’t ravish my wallet in a booth. Once in awhile a girl I had met before would ask me to buy her a drink, and I’d politely refuse, “having eyes only for War” I’d tell anyone trying to leech a drink off me. As for War, she was utterly shameless. She’d get right down on her knees in the middle of the room and start playing with my dick in front of everyone.

It didn’t take very long after the infamous chewing gum incident that I started bar fining War.

But that all happened over a year ago, and she hadn’t been back. So I just settled in at the stage sitting next to the girl who had been sitting there alone. After buying us both a drink, I made my first mistake. When the girl asked me if I wanted to accompany her to a booth well to the rear of the stage, I accepted. There was a group of Englishmen sitting to my left at the same booth. The booth had a dancer’s pole in the center of a table facing it. There were two go go girls with the Englishmen who were fondling their asses as they performed on top of the table.

I started really noticing the little waitress who kept bringing my new bar girl friend and I our drinks.

In the face she reminded me of Skie, who I had met in the Saint Louis Metro East when she was twenty dancing at the Platinum Club.   A pretty blonde, Skie had been one of the prettiest strippers at the Platinum Club in Brooklyn, Illinois.  But my waitress here at Misty’s was Thai whereas Skie was Caucasian whose ancestors had emigrated to the U.S. from Russia. But their attitudes were very similar.

The waitress was spending as much time around me as she could. Like Skie, she was personality plus. And cute. I had to go to the toilet, which meant I had to go upstairs. When I finally came back to the booth I had to wait for a moment or two for my new girl to get up to allow me to come over to the other side of her. This meant my having to stand next to the booth.

Immediately I felt a woman’s arms around me, then I felt her hands stroking my cock.

Such things often happened at Misty’s. To me in any case, because it always seemed that at least one woman or another was always feeling my dick.

The girl was right behind me where I couldn’t see her unless I turned around, and since she was holding onto me pretty tightly, turning around in that confined area was not all that easy. Reaching behind me, I grabbed the woman around her waist, trying to get her measure. I expected to find a large heavy set Thai woman in my grasp. I could feel her although I couldn’t see her. That’s the way these fat ones work, I told myself. They come up behind a man unseen. Then they start to give him a massage or start feeling his dick. Either way his defenses start melting away which even gives the fat girls a bit of a chance. As my hands moved up and down the woman’s body, I hoped that the girl was my waitress.

It was.

And from then on, it seemed that about every time she got up anywhere close to me, she’d be feeling my dick.

By now I was starting to lose a lot of control. First, the waitress asked me to buy her a drink. Then the girl who was sitting with me asked me for another glass of whatever weak drink she was having. She was coyote, and that meant she’d be trying to get as many drinks out of me as possible. But she was starting to feel my dick also.

“It must be that mamasan telling these wimmen what I was all about,” I concluded. It was the same mamasan who had worked there before and she knew that my real brain was not between my ears. But things were starting to go a little too fast for me. I knew that from then on it would be my buying one drink after the other. I was having a super time but it was time to leave.

But there will be a next time and it’s not all that far off.

My game plan’s to go straight for the little waitress. If she’s there the next time I come into the club, I’m going to make a beeline right for her. I’ll buy her a drink and have her seat me on the stage. And then, as soon as the first opportunity arises, I’m barfining her.  Give you fifty-fifty that she’s the most unforgettable bar girl next week who I’m  going to be meetin.