Expat Issues Archives

Dealing with Nipples is Chapter 24 of Life of an Exotic Entertainment Photographer. Why do I compare this to being chairman?

Dealing with Nipples my universal gym at the farm — To help keep myself in prime physical condition, I had my own private exercise room built out of a one car garage at my farm. To make it appear larger I had large mirrors placed along an entire wall. While I had another wall done up as a mural showcasing the mountains overlooking the Snake River. The concept was to transport myself into an entirely different world which I would later use while Dealing with Nipples.

Because I am chairman of the condo here in Pattaya Thailand where I’ve been living for the past 15 years. I’ve been chairman for the past seven years after serving on our condo’s committee for two years. Now most of you will not be interested at all in my being chairman. Or the things I have to do to serve the 62 owners. But for the few of you who want to know about Thailand condo management I am introducing a new subject area called Thailand condo management. For the few who are interested, it will be enlightening.

But big surprise, Dealing with Nipples has nothing to do with breast implants or sexuality in any form.

While it has a lot to do with condo management. But that’s going to take more articles here. In Life of an Exotic Entertainment Photographer dealing with Nipples is all about fighting. And how to strike so much fear in an opponent that you will never have to deal with him again. Nipples was the inspiration for my first book, Death on the Wild Side. She was a stripper. Whose stage name was Nipples due to her large nipples. Dealing with Nipples meant my oftentimes running into her violent boyfriend who threatened to disfigure my beautiful supercharged Mazda Miata sports car. And beat me up with the help of his friends.

My supercharged Mazda Miata sportscar, developed over 180 horsepower out of an engine that had just 116 horsepower stock. So I equipped the car with oversized wheels and tires to contain all those extra ravaging ponies and had the car lowered. It would have topped 150 miles an hour had it not been for the rev limiter which shut the engine down at 7000 rpms. Even so, I wound up blowing the engine three times trying to get more than 140 miles an hour.

Did you ever face two or three antagonists simultaneusly? Well I have.

I describe two or three of the events in the chapter, Dealing with Nipples. The second time was when I was a Junior in College. The staring half back for our college football team was having a bachelor’s party with a group of his friends. All of them on the football team. Three of them imimidated a friend of mine into leaving the bar. Then the three football players tried to grab me and throw me out of the bar. I won and they lost.

Which sets the stage for Dealing with Nipples.

Dealing with Nipples meant my training hard as a boxer in my exercise room — My heavy bag and platform bag for speed bags in my farm exercise room. When I found myself Dealing with Nipples, I devoted myself to boxing so that If necessary I could simultaneously take on up to three or four men.

I was fifty then. So figuring I wasn’t too much over the hill yet, I trained myself for the upcoming fight. The fight of my dreams. Which I would win even if I had to face three men. I won’t go into the details of the encounter here. You will just have to read about it in Life of an Exotic Entertainment Photographer. And in the end I never had a problem with Nipplies boyfriend ever again.

So what does Dealing with Nipples have to do with successful condo management in Thailand?

For one thing, whether it’s a fight or a critical committee meeting or condo co-owner’s meeting, it’s essential to be well prepared for the upcoming encounter.

When it came to facing off against Nipple’s boyfriend and two or three of his friends, I worked out an hour a day on my punching bags. Using the speed bags and heavy bags. Until I knew I was faster and much more coordinated than my opponents. And able to knock anyone of them down with either hand.

In future committee meetings or the annual co-owner’s meetings as chairman, I would always come well prepared. I would come with notes, for what I wanted to cover in a committee meeting or once a year condo co-owner’s meetings. But I would also prepare myself for any questions raised by a fellow condo co-owner especially during the annual c0-owner’s meetings. So that I could effectively convince to vote in favor of my agendas.

While running the annual condo co-owers’ meetings I also had to prepare myself for combat. Just as I had in Dealing with Nipples.

While running these annual condo co-owner’s meetings, it is not enough to be totally prepared. And it’s not enough to be as cool as a cucumber. It’s also essential to be totally fearless and be willing to get physical with an adversary.

In these annual condo co-owner’s meetings, half of the attending condo co-owners are complete assholes. They are despicably rude and selfish. They are constantly interrupting the speaker, no matter who’s trying to make his point. It becomes total chaos. It brings back memories of teaching a High School class of unruly students. Except these “grown up” condo owners are far worse.

So I find it necessary to show my fellow condo owners that I’m the toughest guy in the room and that my fuse only goes so far before I am willing to kick someone’s ass.

I once had a drunken fellow co-owner get into my face in the condo office. The guy just wouldn’t back off. Even when I tried to leave the office in front of our manager and bookkeeper. I slapped him so hard in the face that he went down. And when he got up the co-owner threatened to sue me for assault and battery. Too bad for him though. Because I had come fully prepared years in advance. Due to my making sure that our Thai manager and Thai bookkeeper would back me to the hilt.

In one of our condo annual co-owner’s meetings I’ve had to grab a totally out of control mouthy fellow co owner by his shoulders to physically throw him out of the room until our security guard intervened. While a year or two later, I had to get up close and personal to another co-owner who just wouldn’t shut up. I think everyone in the room knew I was going to punch the guy out. Until another co-owner was able to persuade him to settle down.

So welcome to the new condo management section of the Fun House expats blog. From now on I won’t be making any comparisons between Dealing with Nipples and successful Thailand condo management.

But I will contend with pride that I don’t think there’s a single condo community that’s better managed than ours. Like most of the Pattaya condos near us, we’ve had a bookkeeper embezzle sizeable funds from us. We’ve had big problems with owners who won’t pay on time. Not to mention problems with providing adequate security for our resident’s possessions. For the few who are interested in what it takes to sucessfully manage a condo here in Thailand I will be writing future articles here.

Links to related topics

Welcome to the Fun House
Describes my first 2 years on my condo committeee. Written as fiction much of the book follows my experiences under the German builder and first chairman of our condo community here at Wongamat Beach. This is a great introduction to the corruption inherent in most condo communities here in Pattaya. Welcome to the Fun House portrays an idealistic picture of the kind of condo owners here in Pattaya. Whereas Pattaya Pattaya Pattaya Confessions of Sin City which I published right before Life of an Exotic Entertainment Photographer paints portrays such condo owners in a very negative light. It took six years as chairman for me to develop my present extremely negative opinion of most Thailand expats.

Dick Fitswell the Man in Quest of the Perfect Fit

In my opinion after writing and publishing six books in over 12 editions this is my finest effort. But it’s no Man of La Mancha and I am certainly not at all like Miguel de Cervantes who inspired Man of Mancha with his Don Quixote. Dick Fitswell is outrageous satire. Which will be continued in Pattaya Pattaya Pattaya Confessions of Sin City where Dick Fitswell has a second coming. In which I further develop my Big DIck theory that motivates most (but thankfully not all) men.

Men cause most wars. Whereas most women don’t. Women after all want to protect their children. Just take a look at what’s going on in the U.S. today. With all of this infighting between moderate Democrats and the left wing of the Democratic Party. And how the far right has captured the Republican Party. The Trump cult. Attacking the U.S. capital, and then denying that you’ve committed treason. It all comes down to is My dick is bigger than your dick. I have more money than you. I’m smarter than you. My voice is louder than yours. My gun is bigger than your gun. And I am going to prove it at the expense of even my own country.

Jack Corbett Books

Excluding Kindle ebooks which work great on your cell phone there’s over twelve editions of my six books. There’s two versions of Life of an Exotic Entertainment Photographer in Hardback from Amazon and Lulu. And one full color paperback from Lulu and another you can get from Amazon. And a black and white edition from Amazon and another black and white edition at lulu.com. There’s also multiple editions of Etreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World from both amazon.com and lulu.com. And three calendars you can buy at lulu.com, the 2021 and 2022 Extreme Weapons calendar and the 2021 Pattaya Beaches Eye Calendar at lulu.com. Jack Corbett Books can help you decide which edition to choose.