Category Archives: Exreme Satire

On my website at alphapro.com I promised over the top satire and cutting edge photography and video. Here it is, a lot of it in video. While two of the six books I have written and published–“Dick Fitswell the Man in Quest for the Perfect Fit” and “Pattaya Pattaya Pattaya Confessions of Sin City” take no prisoners. In both books nothing is sacred. Especially organized religion.

Jack Corbett Youtube channel is best watched going full blast

Going full blast watching the Jack Corbett Youtube channel, means setting your Jack Corbett youtube viewer to full screen and turning the speakers up.  With the new video camera I’m setting the output on my you tube videos to full HD video whenever possible.  This results in video output files as large as 1 gigabyte and sometimes even more.  So what does this mean to my viewers?  It means that they can oftentimes get excellent video on a 55 inch television, especially if they download the video.   And for speakers I definitely recommend  using headphones or a home theater sound system.

Jack Corbett youtube audio screen system
Viewing my you tube videos on a smart phone simply doesn’t do justice to what I am trying to create. I am using professional cameras to do the big screen justice. Here’s is one of my boxing videos. I’m watching it full screen on my computer’s 22 inch monitor, but I’m also duplicating my screen to my Samson 55 inch t.v. And I’m enjoying big sound on my 8 speaker surround sound system. I shot this boxing video with a Nikon professional SLR–a 750 Nikon.And used a 24-70 Nikon 2.8 lens. This lens is about as good as it gets and has a price that hits the stratosphere. But I shoot for the moon doing these videos.

On my Jack Corbett video Channel music plays a vital role.  That’s because I want to bring the entire Pattaya bar experience home to the viewer whether he’s watching the video on his computer or television.  So, I will usually leave the bars’ background music in my videos. I will also spend a lot of time on supplementary music to introduce, end, or add to a particular mood I wish to create in one of my videos.

The Platinum Club video

For example, in my Platinum Club video I inserted an audio segment or two from the 1962 hit, “Sealed with a Kiss” to inject a little humor into the portion of the slide show when the customer is getting his private dance in the Platinum Club VIP room.

  I remember those days while I was a teenager.  A complete babe in the woods.  And so is the customer who’s getting the private dancer.  And so many naive Westerners who find themselves under the spell of Pattaya bar girls.  Here’s still another example of how much of a vital role music has for me while I’m creating these videos.

This is more than a golden oldy video from Drinking street which no longer exists. It also dramatizes one of my books, Dick Fitswell the Man in Quest of the Perfect Fit“which in my opinion is the best out of the six books I have written.

Note the music that’s playing when you get 50 seconds into this video.  The piece comes from Garry Owen which was the actual marching song for General Armstong Custer‘s Seventh Cavalry.  In this video I’m drawing a comparison between General Custer and the protagonist for “Dick Fitswell, the man in Quest of the Perfect Fit“, who is of course, Dick Fitswell.

I have also injected cartoons into this video to represent my character Dick Fitswell.  I will admit to being not much of a cartoonist.  And there is no way that I can claim to have much talent as an artist.  Nevertheless I have hoped to inject a lot of humor into this video by bringing in my amateurish attempt at drawing a cartoon.

I think the main point of my Dick Fitswell character is lost on many readers. Dick Fitswell is nothing more than a  cartoon character brought into fictionalized form.  The entire book is a satire.    But although many of my readers don’t get it, I think when they view this video they will truly understand what Dick Fitswell represents.  In many movies the vainglorious General Armstrong Custer marches over 225 of his men into over 3000 Indian warriors to certain death as the bagpipers play “Garry Owen”.  The Custer of the movies is a fool.  Dick Fitswell makes the Custer of the movies look sane by comparison.

And then I think of all these guys doing still pictures and video with their cell phones.  Sorry, but that just won’t get it for me.  I want to use the best equipment I can within reason (of my finances).

In the videos you can view on the Jack Corbett YouTube channel the earliest ones were taken with a Sony vid cam.

But in those days most internet connections were dial up so I had to make sure my files were small.  So those videos in particular are of extremely low quality when you compare them to my most recent ones.  After that I started using a Canon Elf camera which shot decent video,  I shot a lot of my videos you can now view on you tube with that camera.  They are okay, but they are no match for what came later.

My next camera was a Panasonic LX-5, which was the finest camera in its class for shooting video.  You will find that the videos I shot  are a big improvement from those I shot with the Canon.  But when I found out that Panasonic had replaced the LX-5 with the LX-7 with its incredibly fast German Leica lens, I immediately upgraded to the  LX-7.

But one thing I had learned while shooting digital stills of American feature entertainers and topless dancers was to get close to the action.

So if I was shooting two naked topless dancers wrestling in a vat of hot oil, if I could get eight feet away instead of fifteen I did. I found out as a professional adult photographer that getting close puts the viewer right into the heart of the action.

And that’s exactly what I am doing on the Jack Corbett YouTube Channel.  I try to get as close as I can to the action.  I also don’t want to be just a detached observer of the action.  I’m oftentimes drinking with the Pattaya bar girls I’m shooting.  I’m usually doing a lot of Tequila with them.  So when you see my videos you are going to get exactly what you see.  It will be the real thing, and when I’m doing it, I will hopefully be doing the best job that I can without making any compromises because the way I see it, I plan on doing the next best thing to having you in the bar matching us drink for drink.

The Russian Walking Dead are taking over Pattaya Sin City

The Russian Walking Dead are taking over Pattaya Sin City, clogging up the streets,  like zombies,  walking three and four breast, multiplying, fearless of the traffic.

Russian Walking Dead
This picture is from the actual  t.v. series The Walking Dead. I took segments from the t.v. series and inserted them in my video the Russian Walking Dead and mixed them up in my final you tube video

 

 

 

Jack Corbett’s the Russian Walking Dead of Pattaya
The American Russian Walking Dead of Pattaya is a little different from the video above (the Russian Walking Dead of Pattaya. The reason is Donald Trump- and all his minions and any American idiot who’s going to vote for him.

Pattaya Sin City is in Thailand.  There are hardly any sidewalks.

  While the police are selling slivers of the road to street vendors.  Everything’s for sale here in Pattaya Sin City.  From women to the public safety which takes a backseat to the bribes the police can pocket.  After all, there’s a reason why Thailand’s roads are now the most lethal in the entire world.

Russian Walking Dead of Pattaya Sin City
So who really created the Russian Walking Dead? How about the Pattaya Sin City powers that be starting with the police? Notice how street vendors are allowed to set up their little shops right on the street.

But we must feel sorry for the poor Russians who comprise the largest Caucasian group of tourists to ever hit Pattaya Sin City.  There’s nowhere they can walk.  So they must take to the streets to become the Russian Walking Dead.  Which many of them will become.  Roadkill.  As squashed dismembered bodies.  Thanks to the total lack of police enforcement of Thailand’s traffic laws.

Welcome to the world’s most lethal roads

But we are not here to dissect causes of traffic fatalities.  We are here to have fun.  And that’s what this  Russian Walking Dead video is all about.

But who am I really satirizing?  If you really think that I’m poking fun at the Russians, think again.

But here they are, the Russian Walking Dead. Scurrying like rats dodging traffic.  But we all are here in Pattaya Sin City.   There’s a lack of humanity here.  And you have to watch this video to see it.

So do I really hate the Russians?

How could I hate the people who gave us Dostoevsky, Tolstoy, Lermontov and Pushkin?  These Russian writers were top notch.  With Tolstoy’s War and Peace generally acclaimed as the greatest novel that’s ever been written.  Not to mention some of the greatest classical music composers the world has ever known.  Such as Rachmaninoff,   Tchaikovsky, Korsakov

Russians are more avid readers than Americans.  By far.  I have far too many Russian friends to really be serious about calling them the Russian Walking Dead.  So let’s get back to this video.

How I produced this video, the Russian Walking Dead here in Pattaya Sin City?

I started off shooting video near my condo of Russians clogging up my street.  Walking and strolling down the pavement because not a sidewalk was to be found.  I then downloaded parts of the celebrated t.v. series, The Walking Dead.  From which I selected the choicest segments.  And that’s when I really started having fun.  As I pulled my film clips of Russians dodging cars and motorbikes into my video editing program.  And then added portions of the televised Walking Dead into my video. 

Then I started to really have fun as I added parts of the original Walking Dead soundtrack to my video. 

Well what can I say?  I am ting tong mak mak.  And I love being the kind of guy I am.   

Here’s a few of the choicest lines in this video.

“What are those?  (My Thai girlfriend asks me).

“I think they are Russians.”

“They are everywhere?”  Who?  The Russians.  Or is it the zombies?

“We must do something about these Ruskies”  (Hey, that’s my line).

“That noise.  Will that bring more of them?  There’s nothing we can do about it now.”  (from the television series soundtrack).

“We will just have to wait them out till morning.”

“The Question is how were these Walking Dead created?”  (my line again).

“Welcome to my world.  Welcome to my only world.  (from the soundtrack).

If you think I’m biased against Russians I invite you to read the following.

Andre Ward Sergei Kovalev fight was a draw

Is a New Boxing Golden Age upon us?

1 inch groups from the Ruger Mini 14 Rifle

Nuns rule Dollies Playhouse Strip Club thanks to sister Margarita

Nuns rule Dollies Playhouse Strip Club in the Saint Louis Metro East.  The blockbusting story we told the world on the internet in 1997-1998.

Alabama at the Dollies Playhouse Strip Club
As one of the two nuns in Dollies trendy toilet sex at Dollies Playhouse Strip Club Alabama looks so innocent. The same cannot be said for the other “nun”, played by Marilyn Mynxxx.

In those days I had my Kodak DC-40 digital camera when practically everyone else was using film. It could only manage around 375,000 pixels. To give you an idea of how inferior this camera was to today’s equipment my present Nikon D-750 will do around 24 million pixels while the top of the line Nikon SLR digital camera will manage around 44 million pixels.  So my new Nikon is 64 times more powerful than my old Kodak D-40 digital camera.

Other photographers derided my Kodak as a toy. Little did they know that film would soon be dead. The Kodak provided instant gratification, and strip club owners, managers, and strippers couldn’t get enough of it.

A toy?  I’m going to let you be the judge.  Take this slideshow of “Nuns rule Dollies Playhouse strip club show you this little Kodak was no toy.

I’d bring my laptop into the Dollies Playhouse strip club and my digital camera and we’d all start doing these digital skits with everyone hamming it up in the club. I’d come up with a story line and then I’d have all the people in the strip club acting out my crazy scripts. We used to even have Dollies Trendy Toilet Sex in the club’s restrooms.

Great satiric satire as unglued Nuns rule Dollies Playhouse strip club

Crazy Czech in his war paint. Alabama is the good looking blonde in the center. This is what we’d do every Friday night at Dollies Playhouse Strip Club. We’d get as many people in the toilet and see what happens. Then I’d put the pictures in the Lost Angels chat room later on direct from the strip club.The Godfather of Dollies Trendy Toilet Sex was Crazy Czech.  Crazy Czech in real life is a computer software engineer.   He’s American.  If he wasn’t he wouldn’t be as crazy as he is.  Crazy Czech was to get as many people as possible into one of the toilets and then everyone would start to act weird, and I’d start taking pictures. Afterwards I’d go to my digital office in the club which was just five feet from the club’s main stage. Dollies even provided me with my own separate phone line so I could get online with my laptop.

Typical picture from Dollies Trendy Toilet Sex.  Satin on the left, Clylina on top, Marilyn Myxxx to the right. Big Howard getting squashed.

So I’d sit there with all my friends who were mostly strippers and work on my digital images. Then I put them into the Lost Angels chats and people would tune in from all around the country.

Cylina on Big Howard’s lap during Dollies Playhouse Strip Club Trendy Toilet Sex.

In general people are vain. They like to be the center of attention, especially strippers and strip club owners and managers, strip club DJ’s, waitresses, etc.  Dollies Playhouse Strip Club led the pack when it came to all the actors and actresses strutting their stuff.  Those were the best of times.

So if I could get someone’s picture in front of the whole world in half an hour and other photographers using film would tell their fans, “I’ll get them developed and show you the results tomorrow” who is the better photographer?” I’d be drinking beer and tequila with all my friends at Dollies with my faithful laptop in front of me, and man, everybody would go wild.

Click here to get the page,  Nuns Take over the Dollies Playhouse Strip Club which has the links to this slide show-video. I didn’t dare put this up on You Tube because it shows a fair amount of nudity. And it also takes a few pot shots at organized religion.

Big Howard’s one of the main characters in all those little pantomimes we did at Dollies Playhouse Strip Club.  Big Howard’s my pal.  He was assistant manager at Dollies and we sure drank a lot of tequila and beer together. In this slide show he’s hamming it up in the club’s toilet with a bare breasted stripper who calls herself Diamond.

Cylina and Marilyn Mynxxx at the Dollies Playhouse Strip Club
One of the best classics ever in the entire Dollies Playhouse Strip Club Trendy Toilet Sex escapades. Here Sister Cuervo played by Marilyn Mynxxx spanks Cylina for being a naughty girl in her class. Which provided the ideal spectacle for my satire of Christianity as the Nuns rule Dollies Playhouse.

Then there’s a series of pictures of sexy Cylina I did a photo shoot of in the club’s attic in front of mirrors. Cylina  also plays the part of an unruly high school student in “School Girls” with Obsession. Their teacher is Sister Cuervo, played by Marilyn Mynxxx.  Marilyn’s even wearing a nun’s habit to play her part. Finally Alabama appears as Sister Margarita wearing her habit also.

There’s one picture of Alabama serving me a portion of Methyl blue in a Chinese restaurant where we are having a party. The stuff makes anyone who drinks it piss blue, and Alabama drank her portion too so we both peed in technicolor for a few hours.

Lastly, there’s the classic picture of a fully nude Alabama sitting on the toilet at Dollies posing for pictures.

And so it was back then. We were all wild and crazy and my digital camera recorded the strip club action. Back then Tequila was the drink of choice for the ladies and men like Big Howard and me.  I don’t think anyone took digital pictures into strip clubs in those days.  But we did a lot more than just that.  We went totally crazy dramatizing how much fun a strip club can be.  And put the whole thing on the internet here at alphapro.com for the entire world to see.  In those days we were the only game in town.