Category Archives: Exreme Satire

On my website at alphapro.com I promised over the top satire and cutting edge photography and video. Here it is, a lot of it in video. While two of the six books I have written and published–“Dick Fitswell the Man in Quest for the Perfect Fit” and “Pattaya Pattaya Pattaya Confessions of Sin City” take no prisoners. In both books nothing is sacred. Especially organized religion.

Exreme Satire, Jack Corbett Video Channel

Jack Corbett Christian Satire becomes the focus of two books

April 20, 2022 Jack Corbett Leave a comment

The two books takes my Jack Corbett Christian Satire to glorious heights or abysmal lows depending on your point of view.

Jack Corbett Christian satire. Jack as Uncle Bufford — Jack as Uncle Bufford. Years ago, Jack and a couple of his friends did the sarcastic Uncle Bufford Walking Street go go bar reviews.

But my alphapro.com web site promises cutting edge photography and video and over the top satire. I keep my promises and that’s what I deliver.

Jack Corbett pretending to rape Angie as a hooded medieval priest, symbolizing “The Mothers for a more boring Naton” who want to deprive people of having fun, closing strip clubs, kicking Jack out of YouTube, etc.

You must all ask yourselves. Why did I create this abominable video? And why did Angie help me do it? It’s because organized Christianity deserves it.

That’s why. Make no mistake. Organized religion has killed more people over the last 2000 years than anything else. With the possible exception of World War I and World War II. And in my opinion organized Christianity is the most pretentious and arrogant religion of them all.

Meet Angie. She’s in the video with me pretending that I am raping her. Neither one of us were drinking that night. Angie taught me how to pole dance. She’s a New York City girl. And like most of my American stripper friends very bright. So she got a big kick out of the little video we did as I play the crazy monk representing the control freaks I call the Mothers for a More Boring Nation.

Angie the Artist. Over twenty years very few people got online with their desktop computers. As many of my American stripper friends,
Angie was very bright while possessing a completely off the wall sense of humor.

Okay. You don’t believe me. Many of you are going to argue with me. And that’s the very reason I am sticking my totally off the wall Jack Corbett Christian satire right in your faces.

Think about it. Which religion is more arrogant and deadly–the Christian church represented by the Pope and various Protestant Church authority figures or mainline Islam?

Those of you who actually read books. (Most of you don’t). Because your world is Facebook and Social media. Those who actually read books already know about the Spanish Inquisition. And the burning of countless thousands of heretics throughout the Middle Ages. All sanctified by the Pope as head of the Roman Catholic church.

Now consider Saladin versus King Richard the Lion Hearted during the Third Crusade.

The Moslems under Saladin promised all Christians freedom of worship in Jerusalem. Whereas the Christians did everything in their power to destroy freedom of worship in the Holy City. The Christians slaughtered thousands of peaceful Muslim pilgrims traveling to Jerusalem, which was the Holy City. And not just for Christians but equally so for Jews and Muslims. Eventually Saladin was able to defeat the Christians and retain Jerusalem under Moslem rule. The result was and still is freedom of worship for all.

I found it to be so much fun to introduce Jack Corbett Christian Satire over thirty years ago during float trips on Missouri’s Current River.

I was actively farming back in those days. When suddenly I came up with a totally warped idea. So I welded a heavy steel cross together.

The Springfield, Illinois Ski Club was having its annual Halloween Party. Hundreds of young men and women attended that Halloween Party every year. And that was the genesis of Jack Corbett Christian Satire.

The Springfield Ski club gave prizes to its members who created the most creative and most hilarious costumes. And that’s when I became the irreverend Catholic Priest. So I went out and bought a monk’s robe at a Halloween costume shop. And bought a thick white rope. The robe was black and it had a hood.

Wearing my monk’s hooded robe while carrying my steel cross I proceeded to harass the most beautiful girls at the Springfield Ski Club’s Halloween Party. Mocking organized religion as my first Jack Corbett Christian Satire.

I had one of the Springfield Ski Club girls put a lot of makeup on my face. So no one could recognize me. And at the party I’d wander throughout the crowd kissing the prettiest girls. While uttering shameful remarks such as “I want your body so much. You have the best ass here.”

But it wasn’t much longer that I started baptizing people as the Irreverand.

Being a hands on farmer for 23 years living near Farmersville, Illinois some of my best friends were farmers. And one of my best friends ever was Dave L. Who ironically was a staunch member of the Farmersville Catholic Church. Well Dave was a great organizer and a great friend to all. So we started calling him Mr. Farmersville.

So Mr. Farmersville started organizing canoe float trips on Missouri’s gorgeous Current River.

Now these American Farmers are the next thing to real cowboys. Except most of them drive tractors instead of riding horses.

They can’t rope cattle and horses with a lariat. But they all have guns which they keep inside their four wheel drive pickups. While they refuse to drink their beer with ice.

Most of us consumed about thirty beers inside of 24 hours. But all our ice had melted inside our coolers. So we all wind up drinking warm beer from cans in the hot sun.

The time finally arrived to introduce a bit of Jack Corbett Christian satire. I had brought my cross and my monk’s robe with me. And started baptizing one farmer after the other. Knee deep in the Current River shallows.

But I still needed more converts to my unique brand of Jack Corbett Christian satire.

But this time I will be baptizing my converts from my other group of friends from the Springfield, Illinois ski club.

Our Springfield Illinois ski club trip leader chooses Missouri’s Black River for the float trip. So once again I’m the Irreverand Jack Corbett. Baptizing my new flock in my hooded monk’s robe.

Utter insanity follows. I am now a huge hit with the Springfield Ski Club. And I am asked to be the next trip leader. For a three day ski trip to the bunny slopes in Traverse City Michigan.

Is this the real Gogoltha? Notice to the right. It sure looks like a human skull. (Golgotha means the place of the skull). Nearby is the Garden Tomb that is believed by many to be the real tomb of Jesus. While below is an Arab bus station that is likely to be the favored spot where the Romans crucified their opponents.

Now don’t get me wrong. I am actually a Christian. And I don’t mean to demean Jesus Christ. I’ve been to Israel twice. And while I was in Jerusalem I visited the site of the Crucifixion. The only problem was, Jesus, if he was crucified there. This wasn’t the place he had been crucified. And his tomb certainly was not in the Church of the Holy Sepulcher. It’s far more likely that his tomb was in the Garden Tomb that is maintained by the English Anglican Church. While the cross is likely to have been in what is now a large outdoor Arab bus station.

But who knows really. What really matters is that both the Roman Catholic Church and the Greek Orthodox Church are headquartered in the Church of the Holy Sepulcher where they collect tribute from “true believers”. Who never ask themselves. “Did it really happen here?”

Does this remind you of the story in the New Testament about Jesus chasing all the money lenders and merchants out of the Temple in Jerusalem?

And now I’m going to take all of you way back when I was just fourteen when I asked myself, “Is this Catholic priest trying to have sex with me. Or is he only trying to control me?

When I was fourteen I was going to a Catholic School in Saint Louis. Even though I was a Protestant. A priest who was one of my teachers called me. Asking me, “Can you visit me in my office on Saturday?” Since I had a lot of respect for my teachers because they were awfully damn good, I had my partners drive me to the school.

Some of the first words out of the mouth of the priest were, do you masturbate?

“I replied. Well yes Father (because I still had a lot of respect for authority).

“And do you think of women when you masturbate?” the priest replied.

“Yes Father. I think of women when I masterbate.”

“Do you ever think of men when you masterbate? the priest continued.

“No. Never,” I replied.

“Is wrong for you to masterbate the priest told me. Because you are wasting your precious seed. And you are being selfish. You should wait until you find someone you love. Marry her. And then share your precious seed with her.

I still l don’t know if the priest was trying to have sex with me or merely trying to control my life. But that’s how organized Christianity works.

I find the central premise of Christianity to be deeply flawed. If it is taken literally. That message is, you can find salvation and eternal life only if you accept Jesus Christ as your savior.

So when my Iranian pal who runs a bar on Pattaya Soi Six tells me, “I am a Muslim only fifty fifty. I believe in only one thing. Which is to treat others as I want to be treated.” Sounds to me like Jesus Christ’s Golden rule. But I suppose Sam’s not going to heaven because he doesn’t embrace Jesus Christ as his savior.

And what happens to all those people born before Jesus Christ who never got the opportunity to embrace him as their savior? Are they going to Heaven, Hell, Purgatory or did they never have a soul to begin with?

I don’t think that if Jesus Christ really exists that he would ever accept such an illogical thought. While certainly Jesus was a great teacher. And a terrific example for humanity to follow. But son of God? I don’t know. And if he is. Then I believe there are others sons of God all put on earth by God to point out the right way.

Now I have written six books. Dick Fitswell the Man in Quest for the Perfect Fit has Dick Fitswell actually meeting God on two occasions while in its sequel Pattaya Pattaya Pattaya Confessions of Sin City, Dick Fitswell is Jesus Christ looking for his Saint Peter to spread the message of his god.

Dick Fitswell’s temple is a bordello on Pattaya’s infamous Soi Six. There he chooses among his disciples his Saint Peter to spread his message from God to a girlie bar in Naklua the city next to to all the gentiles (Germans) in the same way God sent Saint Paul and Saint Peter to spread the message of Christ far beyond Israel.

Both books are outrageous totally irreverent Jack Corbett Christian Satire that goes far beyond anything I’ve ever read before. I consider this to be my finest writing.

So I am going to ask all of you reading this post. Am I right or am I wrong? But either way I’m recommending that all of you watch two Netflix television series that will really get your minds going.

Saladin

And The Last Kingdom.

And as to the crucifixion and the real Tomb of Jesus you can read more about it in Dick Fitswell the Man in Quest of the Perfect Fit.

And in The Search for the Tomb of Jesus by PD Mcbirney and William Steuart

You might also enjoy reading Angie in Angie Mentor of the Stage and Angie the Artist

Dollies Strip Club Gems, Off the Wall Slide Show from Jack Corbett

February 15, 2022 Jack Corbett Leave a comment

I shot Dollies Strip Club Gems in Washington Park, Illinois in 2000 of the best looking strippers at Dollies Playhouse.

Since then Crazy Czech has written and published four books

American adult entertainment, Exreme Satire, Jack Corbett Books

I create DIck FItswell with his 18 inch penis as a satire

November 13, 2021 Jack Corbett Leave a comment

Jim Lllley gave me a choice, to create Dick Fitswell or not to publish at all in his adult magazine, “The Wild Times”.

to create Dick Fitswell I needed Alex to convince me — To create DIck Fitswell it took Alex, to convince me to write what I considered porn. Alex was the first to read my first book, Death on the WIld Side, all 600 pages of it. A stripper working a Dollies Playhouse, Alex would become one of my best friends, a surrogate mother. And a great lady, articulate, well read, smart. She would write her own poetry and have me publish it on alphhapro.com. When I told Alex I didn’t want to create Dick Fitswell, an overly endowed sex maniac wth an 18 inch dick, Alex told me, “Do it Jack. You can do it.” And I’ve been laughing ever since.

Jim Lilley was the owner of the Wild Times, a small adult magazine covering strip clubs, strippers, throughout Missouri and the Saint Louis Metro East. Which is the Illinois side of Saint Louis across the Mississipi River from Missouri.

Jim was a young energetic man I kept enountering throughout the Saint Louis Metro East strip clubs selling advertising in the Wild Times to strip club owners, tattoo artists and other “Adult establishments” throughout the greater Saint Louis area.

I wanted to publish “Return to Visions” in his magazine. But Jim wanted me to create Dick Fitswell.

So when we met in my Collinsville, Illinois apartment Jim told me about a character in the Nashville Times who had an enormous penis. I wasn’t very interested in writing about a man with an 18 inch dick. But Jim kept insisting that I create Dick Fitswell for his Wild Times adult magazine.

I had a choice. To get published or not published in the WIld Times. If I create Dick Fitswell, Jim will publish “Return to Visions”.

So I called Alex. Who was a stripper working at Dollies Playhouse. I told Alex, “I can’t write porn”. I do not want to write about a guy with a huge penis.”

And Alex replied. “Yes you can, Jack. You can create Dick Fitswell. I read all six hundred pages of your book, Death on the Wild Side, and you wrote a lot of very sexually explicit stuff in it. Do it Jack. You won’t be sorry.”

What can I say. Alex was wonderful. But a lot of years have gone since then. Alex was almost a mother to me.

Even though I was a lot older than her. I hope she’s still around, but back in those days Alex was totally unlike any stripper you could possibly dream up. Alex was bright. She read a lot. She was a good mother. And she even wrote poetry which I would publish on my web site here at alphapro.

So when Alex told me to create DIck Fitswell, I got right to it within one hour after getting off the phone with her.

WIth fear and trepidation lurking deep into my soul I started writing about Dick Fitswell. But after writing for just half an hour I started laughing out loud.

It takes me only half an hour to Create Dick Fitswell who will later become my third book, Dick Fitswell the Man in Quest of the Perfect Fit.

the need to create Dick Fitswell became a book you can buy at Amazon — After writing and publishing six books, I still think that Dick Fitswell, the Man in Quest of the Perfect Fit is a masterpiece. My best book ever. Although I have recently written and published its sequel, Pattaya Pattaya Pattaya Confessions of Sin City. When I think of Fitswell, I’m thinking of about the Millers Tale in Chaucer’s Canterbury Tales. Or Candy by Terry Southern. Both over the top outrageous satire.

So here I am as I create Dick Fitwell laughing my ass off

DIck Fitswell in his younger years. Image created by Scott Wagner. RIP Scott.

“I’m the real man…the man on the prowl…looking, always searching for the perfect woman–not for brains or heart, but for the perfect fit. So listen upall you men who really want to score and see why I’m called Dick Fitswell…I’m the man with the plan—the man who makes it happen. Now let me tell you about last night.”

I hate country bars. Music’s terrible. Conversation’s piss poor. But they got women in this place and that’s the bottom line. I need it real bad tonight because last night was such a bummer. The girl was too damn short for me and it just didn’t feel right with her clinging onto me…as she kept crying out, “I love you Dick”. I spy a tall blonde with great breasts. I can feel myself in her already. She’s mine. “She’s not looking at me yet,” I tell myself as I pull my shirt up a bit which exposes my magnificent chest. I tighten up my arms and watch the veins pop out of my forearms. I’m the shit. “How would you like to fall in love tonight?” I ask her.

Good line. I used to use–“Got a light?” but a lot of women don’t like the smell of cigarettes on a man. Now I’ll often get myself into a little sweat by exerting myself outside a bar before I walk in such as running around its parking lot a few times to give myself just the right amount of B.O. A lot of women love that smell…Makes them think they are with a real man.”

Alex’s pictures and poetry

More than Jim Lilly, it was Alex who had me create Dick Fitswell. But I still often think of Jim Lilly, a supremely talented do it all adult magazine owner. Who would choose his models and do nearly all the pictures in the Wild Times. And had a contagious peronality that just wouldn’t quite. I don’t know what happened to him. Don’t know what happened to Alex either. Because I’ve been gone so long. Living here in Thailand for the last 16 years.

I would write and publish something like seven Dick Fitswell misadventure stories for Xtreme Magazine. And continue to write about Fitswell until I wrote and published Dick Fitsell, the Man in Quest for the Perfect Fit.

But after moving to Thailand I decided to Create Dick Fitswell once again. I had Dick Fitsell move to Pattaya just like myself. Where Fitswell bought a bar on Pattaya’s infamous Soi Six. Which he called Big Dick’s. And hired a mamasan he called Angry Pussy.

Dick Fitswell in his later years just before he moved to Thailand.

Dick Fitwell in his later years just before he moved to Pattaya where he buys the infamous Soi Six bar, BIg Dicks.

Once he moved to Thailand and started up his own bar in Pattaya, which he called Big Dicks, Fitswell had beds made for each of his upstairs rooms just like this one.

When I created Dick Fitswell the last thing I wanted to do was to write pornography. Which for me would have been a complete waste of time and which I could take no pride in doing whatsoever.

But once I got into my first Fitswell misadventure, “Dick Fitswell picks up a Girl in a Country Western Bar” I couldn’t finish laughing. So I went on to write “Dick Fitswell at the Swinger’s Club” which got me laughing even harder. As one thing led to another, I kept placing my Dick Fitswell character into the most bizarre situations I could imagine. While at the end of each Dick Fitswell scenario, Fitswell usually outsmarts himself. And becomes a victim of his own outrageous schemes.

But by the time I had finshed writing and publishing Dick Fitswell the Man in Quest of the Perfect Fit, I had become more and more convinced that a very large percentage of men had acquired a malady that I will call Dickitis. Or my DIck is bigger than your dick syndrom.

I will put it this way. A large and perhaps even a majority of all men are total control freaks.

Just think about men who either from some misguided sense of their superiority to other men want to show off their being more powerful than those they regard as lesser men. Or, men with inferiority complexes that drive them to compenstate for their sense of inadequacy by lording it over the men and women around them.

Either way, it all comes down to showing “My dick is bigger than your dick.” The bigger dick taking the form of a bigger more expensive car, I am stronger than you, I have more money than you. My house is bigger than your house. My wife is more beautiful than yours. I am smarter than you. I am more handsome than you. I can fuck more women than you (even if I have to pay for it).

Dickitis leads to trying to dominate and control others around him. Especially those who appear vulnerable to his bullying.

Dickitis is the foundation for practically all wars. And it’s usually men rather than women who start most wars. Because women are more inclined to be nurturers. Who do not want their sons or daughters to march off to war and be killed.

The longer I stayed in Thailand, the more convinced I became that far too many men were so much like the DIck Fitsell character I had created. Which compelled me to create Dick Fitswell once again. Only this time, Dick Fitswell would move to Thailand to become the owner of a Soi Six bordello. Where he could assemble a group of disciples worshipping the holy penis. Out of these disciples he would later pick the greatest control freak among them to become his Saint Peter.

The result coming out of this became Pattaya Pattaya Pattaya Confessions of Sin City.

The Jack Corbett Video Channel