Category Archives: Pattaya Bar Girls

This is your essential guide for dealing with Pattaya Bar Girls

Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans raping go go dancers part 2.

I am accusing these avaricious Pattaya Mamasans of raping the go go dancers. But I am not accusing these greedy bitches of raping you, dear customer, because you have freedom of choice whereas the girls don’t.

Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans
Money Number One by Neil Hutchison. Tourists who wish to find female companionship in Pattaya should not be allowed to get off the plane in Bangkok until they have read this book at least twice. It is the Bible to surviving being fleeced by Pattaya bar girls

Most tourists will not read this book. Money Number One and similar books should be required reading for all tourists before they are even allowed to enter Thailand. Unfortunately most tourists seem to know everything and deserve what they get from conniving bar girls

If you are Japanese, and you are going to the Pattaya go go bars with your friends, you are probably an idiot.  But don’t think for one minute that I am picking on you or that I despise Japanese because I don’t.  In fact, I think that most tourists visiting Pattaya go go bars looking for sex are complete morons because they think they know everything.  Most of them also are totally uninterested in learning from expats such as myself or reading such definitive books about Pattaya bar girls such as Neil Hutchison’s Money Number One.    But most of you Japanese are a special case because you try too hard to be polite.  If Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans tell you to pay the girls 3000 baht for short time sex, you agree to it because you don’t like confrontation.  If Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans ask you to buy 3000 baht for 25 ping pong balls that you can throw at the girls, you pay it because you think this is expected of you.  Well, I’m telling you Japanese this.  “Who gives a shit about what Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans expect of you or what greedy go go dancers expect you to pay.  You’ve worked hard for your money.  You are smart guys.  At least you are until you walk into all these go go bars like a herd of sheep walking into the slaughter pen.

part 1

The second point I want to make with you Japanese is this.  Perhaps you think it’s cool to be throwing all your hard earned money at these girls.  And if you think this is amusing to the other men in your group, most Westerners view such behavior with total contempt.  We see you as the unwitting victims of all those worthless Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans, who are laughing at all of you behind your backs.   On the whole Western men value getting a good deal.  Or at least they take pride in making business arrangements that is fair to both sides.

Until they come to Pattaya as tourists looking for romance or sex.  But you Japanese have a good excuse.  Whereas Western tourists don’t.  Especially it they have good English skills.  For that matter even German tourists have a rich source of great information available to them in German and English.  For example, Money Number One is also available to them in English.  Also keep in mind that most Germans who come to Pattaya have good English skills.  Unfortunately the majority of you Japanese don’t.

Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans
Money Number one is also available in German. Unfortunately for you, Japanese it isn’t. So unlike Americans, British, Australians and most Europeans you really don’t have an established guidelines that can keep you from being victimized by predatory mamasans, bar owners and bar girls.

But I am digressing from my whole story line about these Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans so it’s time to move on.  But before getting back to the two girls from Bangsaray-Sattahip I’m going to take you back to one year ago, when I met a really nice gal in this same go go bar and wound up banging her.

ONE YEAR AGO AT THIS SAME GO GO BAR

I met a girl in this same go go bar about 1 year ago.  She wanted 1000 baht to go short time with me in the room upstairs.  When I pointed out to her, that the go go was charging 500 baht for the short time room and bar fine whereas all the other bars nearby were charging just 500 baht for their short time rooms and I was banging all the other girls for 800 baht, she agreed to go short time with me for 800  baht.  Two weeks later, I saw her once again, but I only bought the two of us a couple of drinks as I sat at the bar with her in my arms. The next time I saw her was on Walking Street.  I was walking up the street with Billy Bob, from Crazy House go go to Supergirls then she called out my name.  We stood in the middle of the street together where she asked me to join her a  new bar.  I promised her that after I had a drink or two at Supergirls I’d join her at the new go go bar.  I remembered her. She was so familiar.  And so nice.  Almost wholesome and completely unlike most bar girls.  While drinking my beer at Supergirls it suddenly came back to me.  She was the same girl from that central Pattaya go go bar near Soi 4.  I finished my beer and said goodbye to Billy Bob.  And then I went over to the new bar where I spent two or three hours with her.  All we did was drink, and hold each other’s hands.  Innocent stuff like that.  But the place was so new, she didn’t even know what the bar fine was, and it turned out hardly anyone else did either.  She told me that she had big problems back at her old go go bar with either the club owner or the mamasan and that’s why she had come to Walking Street.  She had a birthday coming up in a week and I promised to come see her on her birthday.  I would have even brought her a gift, but when I went, she wasn’t there.   And she still wasn’t there when I came in much later and sat with other girls.  I think the bar fine was 1600 baht.  This did not include a tip for the girl.  I never went back again.

BACK TO THE PRESENT WITH THE
TWO  BANGSARAY-SATTAHIP GIRLS

The two Pattaya go go girls are coming all the way out from Sattahip looking for Billy Bob and me at our Naklua condo.  Meanwhile Billy Bob and go back to the same go go bar where we found the two women.  But they aren’t there.  Once again we are sitting at that long couch in front of a long stage.  One of the girls tells me, “I am older sister, girl you see before.  They have day off.”

“Older sister my ass!”  How many times have I heard that one before?  But who cares?  There’s several other good lookers here tonight and the clock’s running.

In no time, we are joined by two go go dancers Billy Bob and I have never seen before.  To make this part of my story short, after a few tequilas with the girl who’s now sitting on my lap, I come out with it.  500 baht for room upstairs?”  I ask her while pointing upstairs.  1000 baht for you.  Boom boom.  Okay?”  Then to make certain there is no misunderstanding, I stick my finger gently into her bosom, and tell her in Thai.  “Pu Ying boom boom.  “Neune pan baht ha roy”.  (1500 baht). Then I quickly move my arms apart from each other to signify “altogether or total price I must pay.  Then to make sure she understands, I point to my own pocket while telling her Neun pan baht.  I then point towards the upstairs and once again tell her ha roy baht which means 500 baht.  I tell her bar, then room in English.   Then I ask her in Thai, “Do you understand?”  She tells me yes.

I waive a waitress over to us.  “Check Bin,” I tell her in Thai.  Then I tell the waitress, I pay bar fine.  “Ha roy baht  I pay lady for boom boom” as I point at the girl.

I follow the waitress up to the bar.  While looking at the ticket I see that I need to pay 1000 baht for all the tequila the girl and I have been drinking.  So I tell the waitress, “neune pan ha roy baht.  ha roy baht bar fine, 1000 baht for tequila.”  Suddenly the mamasan appears.  Taking my ticket from the waitress she starts writing on it 2500 baht.

“No mamasan.  I pay 1000 baht for drink.  500 baht bar fine (room upstairs).    Lady and I agree I pay her, not bar, for boom boom.”

“No No no.  You pay this,” she tells me while showing me the prices she’s written on the ticket.

“Up to me and lady, what I must pay for boom boom. ”

But mamasan isn’t listening.

“Okay.  Get Bill.  He own bar.  I talk to him.”

“He not here now.  I am mamasan.  You pay this.”

“No problem then,” I tell the mamasan.  Deal’s off.  I only pay for drink.  I no pay for short time.”

The mamasan changes the ticket to read 1000 baht.  I pay the bin and leave the go go bar with Billy Bob.

One question I have is, why is the mamasan so insistent on my paying the bar instead of the girl direct in the form of a tip we’ve agreed upon?  The girl from Bangsaray-Sattahip absolutely refused to have sex with me in the go go bar short time room.  It wasn’t my offering to pay her 1000 baht either.  She had not even counter offered.  She never asked me to pay 3000 baht, or 2500 baht, 2000 baht or 1500 baht.  Yet she and her friend had come all the way from  Bangsaray-Sattahip so that they could deal directly with Billy Bob and me.

It turns out, however, that the same two girls came to our condo a second time.  One of the girls had a motorbike, the other didn’t.  So it turns out that “my girl” the one who had the motorbike was the ride of the second girl who had been with Billy Bob.

But as I had mentioned in part 1 of my story, I never bring bar girls to my condo.  I won’t give my reasons here.  I just don’t.  But Billy Bob, now he has other ideas on this subject.  So on this second time the girls came to our condo, Billy Bob took them to a restaurant.  Then he took them both into his condo and drank with them for a couple of hours.

The two girls had to work together so they went down to Walking Street where Billy Bob joined them later.  They had already started working at another go go bar.  Billy Bob went upstairs to drink with them in Windmill go go where he found the bar fine had gone down from 1500 baht to 1000 baht because it was after midnight.

So here’s what I am thinking.  The greedy mamasan caused both girls to quit the go go bar that’s near Soi 4 in Central Pattaya to seek employment on Walking Street instead.  Although I can’t prove it, I believe the greedy mamasan is getting a big tip or commission on the tips the go go dancers are getting from their customers.  So if I pay a girl 1000 baht direct for short time sex in the room upstairs, the girl is getting 100 percent of her money.  The bar still makes 500 baht for the short time room rental upstairs and it’s making a lot of money on the high drink prices it’s charging its customers.

So for instance, a Japanese customer comes into this go go bar, and he wants to take a girl upstairs.  The mamasan puts on his ticket 500 baht for the room and 2500 baht short time which is 3000 baht altogether.  What’s probably happened is the mamasan tells the girl, “I’ll get 1500 baht for you which probably more than you would be getting if I didn’t help you considering all the beer bar girls just up the street from us are only getting 1000 baht.  But the mamasan is pocketing 1000 baht from the hapless Japanese tourist who is too polite to argue.

It so happens that in the go go bar near Soi 4 in Central Pattaya could be getting a lot of expat business if the Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans allowed them to set their own prices with their customers.   There is no way that most expats (men who actually live here in Pattaya full time) are going to pay 2000 to 3000 baht long time when they can go just up the street from a go go bar and get the same sex for just 1000 baht.    Sure, it gives a go go girl big face when she can go out and brag to her friends that she’s getting 2500 or 3000 baht short time.  The reality is that tourist numbers have recently declined to less than half of what it was so all of these high dollar go go dancers with their big faces are just not getting bar fined very often.

If the go go bars hope to stay in business, they must face up to this reality.   1000 baht for short time is the magic number for what men should pay for sex in Pattaya.  And any man who pays more is a fool.  Unless, however, he is giving money for a girl whose looks are a 10 out of a 10.

part 1

 

 

Greedy Pattaya Mamasans force go go girls to charge too much part 1

Greedy Pattaya Mamasans are now preying on their go go girls and customers  so much that the bar girls are moving on to greener pastures.

Greedy Pattaya Mamasans
You can get these girls for 1000 baht short time if you follow my good advice

I am therefore asking everyone who reads this post to be real men and never cave into paying more than 1000 baht for short time sex to any Pattaya bar girl.  Paying more is not only fool hardy.  It’s also disastrous to the bar girls  themselves.   So I must now warn everyone about how Greedy Pattaya Mamasans are ruining the Pattaya go go bars  for everyone, including the bar girls.

I have laid down a challenge to two of my fellow Pattaya expats that I can get Pattaya go go girls to do short times with me for 1000 baht.  They’ve told me, “That’s impossible.  Times have changed.  There’s been a lot of inflation since you used to be able to short time over 50 % of the dancers at Supergirls go go for 1000 baht.  Go go dancers now expect 2000-2500 for short time sex.  I say bullshit.  Perhaps you have to pay that, but that’s because you think you have to.  But I’m Uncle Bufford.  I can get away with paying just 1000 baht because I know I can.  You can’t because you are not like me at all.

So last week I stopped in at a certain go go bar.  This place IS NOT ON WALKING STREET.  It’s close to Soi 4 in Central Pattaya.  I went in with Billy Bob and sat at a long couch in front of the stage with Billy Bob.  It took only five minutes for a chubby dancer to ask me if she could sit with me.  I politely refused.   After all, why should I allow a fat bar girl to monopolize my time when I can be with much better looking babes?  And why should I buy a sex worker drinks when I have a much better body that she has?  As for sex, if it ever would come to that, she should be paying me.  Even if I’m an old fart.

Billy Bob and I decide it’s better to drink alone.  Ten minutes later two attractive girls who are dancing on the long stage practically in front of our noses ask us if they can join us.  They do, and before long I’m drinking tequilas with one of them.  She’s in my lap.  After a couple of tequilas she’s  sliding her hand up my shorts.  She wants me.  No.  I want a lot more than her hand, and I know there’s a short time room upstairs.

But she won’t go.  “I hate mamasan,” the girl tells me.  She doesn’t say it exactly like that because her English is not all that terrific.  But I understand her to mean:  “I don’t want to deal with these greedy Pattaya  mamasans who are going to give me a lot of problems if I go upstairs with you for only 1000 baht.”

After several more tequilas, both girls tell us they want to go to our condo in Naklua in two days to party with Billy Bob and me.  My girl tells me, “Tomorrow I have day off”.  But I’m not about to give her my phone number and I’m busy the next day.   As for their coming to Naklua to party with us, I tell Billy Bob:  “That will never happen. My girl tells me she lives in Sattahip. That’s 30 kilometers away.

My girl will absolutely not go with me to the short time room upstairs.  She won’t go for 1000 baht.  She probably won’t even go for 2000 baht. She hates mamasan that much.

But two days later, Billy Bob tells me.  The girls came to our condo yesterday.  All the way from Bangsaray.  They even put pictures of the front of our condo building and put them on Facebook.  “But I had to go somewhere else.  So I didn’t have time to let them come up to my condo.”

As I keep telling my friends.  Most of these go go dancers are not getting bar fined.  The greedy mamasans and go go bar owners are setting their bar fines, short time sex and long time prices far too high.  I can get  a lot of these go go girls to have sex with me for 1000 baht.  The trouble is, I will never have them come to my condo (for reasons I won’t get into here).  Only the Japanese and shit for brains tourists who don’t know any better are stupid enough to pay 2000-3000 baht for short time sex.

Obviously these two go go girls from Sattahip or Bangsaray have proven my point.  They want to get something going with me and Billy Bob outside their go go bar, and if you won’t believe me, it’s time for you to move onto part 2 about how all these greedy Pattaya mamasans are ruining the entire Pattaya go go bar experience.

click here to read part 2

 

The Thailand Naklua Pen Bar 10 year anniversary Dance-a-thon Video

Live music at the Naklua Pen Bar
From 7:30 until 1 a.m. live music ran non stop

The Thailand Naklua Pen Bar is celebrating its 10 year anniversary.  Tonight there’s live music and the girls are dancing.

The food was good and two of my buddies were drinking with me, one Austrian, the other British.  I started with Gin and Tonics but I was going through them very fast, and I could see my bin piling up with tickets.  This was going to be an expensive evening especially since I was buying several of the girls drinks.   No matter.  The Naklua Pen Bar doesn’t have its ten year anniversary every day.  And I wouldn’t miss this party for the world.  And it’s all because of Pen, who’s also having her annual birthday.

In England they call the hangouts for the locals pubs.  In my part of the U.S. we call them taverns.  In Pattaya Thailand we call it the Pen Bar.  That’s because all our favorite local bars have closed their doors or gone to seed.

Malai Bar never was the same after Eddie sold it to someone who had no clue on how to run a bar.  Then it closed.  It can be seen in the background of this video, vacant.  The Girl Beer Bar was the greatest place around with lots of pretty girls always around. Good music too.  But then the German owners had a falling out or that’s what I had heard.  As for Drinking Street, I’ve got lots of you tube videos that attest to how good it used to be there.  But most of the girls there have gotten to be fat and unattractive.  And Mam left, then Kwan.

But the Naklua Pen bar has been a steady watering hole of mine for ten years now.  Most of the bars near it are doing very badly.  Many have closed.  But Pen’s always got customers.  It’s Pen who’s made the big difference.

Pen used to be a bar girl.  She’s a straight shooter who will never overcharge a customer or tell him stories the way 90 percent of the bar girls do and nearly all the Thai bar owners and mamasans.  I now understand why Saint Thomas loved her bar so much.

Saint Thomas used to rent a condo on the 7th floor of my building.  He lived here full time for about a year,and during that year he bar fined something like 25 bar girls from Pen’s bar.  Then he moved back to the U.S., but he kept making visits to Naklua every three months or so.  He’d email me to tell Pen that he was coming to Pattaya on a certain night, and that she should stay open late, just for him.  He’d not even bother checking into his hotel first.  He’d just have the taxi driver from Bangkok take him straight to the Naklua Pen Bar, and he’d drop his bags off right next to his table where he’d start drinking right off.  Around three or four in the morning, he’d have Pen or her nephew drop him and his bags off at his hotel.

But tonight it was Rod’s turn.  Rod doesn’t own a motorcycle yet or a car because he hasn’t quite moved here full time quite yet.  So he took a taxi to meet us at the Naklua Pen Bar tonight.  Around 3 a.m. he had just about enough to drink, and was about to go out looking for a taxi.  So I advised him to have Pen get one of her bar girls to take him back to his condo on her motorcycle.  Which one of the girls did.  She was back at the bar ten minutes later.

And that’s how the Naklua Pen Bar gets so many loyal customers.

Links to other Naklua Pen Bar Videos

Tri and Pai, two of our favorite Girl Beer Bar Girls cut up at the Pen Bar

Per and Jack get marooned at the Pen Bar by unrelenting rain where they are molested by rampaging bar girls

bar-girl-videos

 

Bangkok Soi Cowboy go go action

How does the Go Go Bar Bangkok Soi Cowboy action compare to Pattaya Walking Street for girl quality, price, and overall ambiance.  I’d like to say, I had to find out.  I’d love to tell all you guys that Uncle Bufford is alive and doing well as he tries his damnest to bring you all that Soi Cowboy go go action up close and personal so you can experience all those luscious Thai babes vicariously.  But I can’t.  Going to Soi Cowboy was purely an afterthought.  My primary mission to Bangkok was to go to Little Japan to meet a very good Japanese friend of mine.  So Soi Cowboy go go action was purely coincidental to my main mission which was to be a true friend to a man I’d known for over forty years.

Soi Cowboy go go action
Soi Cowboy at Night

If it had been up to me, I probably would never have gone to Bangkok in the first place.  Until I got that email telling me, “I need to come to Bangkok on business. Can you meet me? I’ll even pay for your hotel room.”.  I jumped at the chance to meet up with my old pal from Nippon.  But there was no way I’d allow him to pay for my hotel room.  But I did allow him to book my hotel room.

As my taxi driver started to get close to the hotel I started to notice that there were a lot of Japanese restaurants in the area.  When I went up to the room, I noticed that nearly all the hotel guests were Japanese.  I’d later be informed by one of the hotel’s employees that over 80 percent of its customers were Japanese.  I was starting to love the place already.  As for my friend, he was far from the hotel over three hours away on his business appointment and I’d not see him until the next day.  So here I had a lot of time on my hands. My first priority was food.  My second priority was to find all that Soi Cowboy Action that I had been told was likely to be walking distance from my hotel.  But I’m Uncle Bufford, and action’s a lot more important to me than food, so long as I have just enough food to get by.

So how do I get to Soi Cowboy?  Do I take a taxi or should I try the Sky Train.  But taxis except for when they are absolutely necessary are for wimps.  Although the Skytrain was nearby I wasn’t really used to using it.  And if I took it, I wouldn’t get to see much on the way to Soi Cowboy.  It would take me nearly half an hour to walk to Soi Cowboy.  I’d wind up walking back to my hotel hoping to get together with my friend.  And when that didn’t work out I walked back to Soi Cowboy looking for wimmen and beer, and then back again to my hotel at 3 a.m.  I must have walked two hours, which is something most of you readers wouldn’t even attempt.  But I’m getting ahead of myself.  So I’m going to take my Bangkok adventure one step at a time.

Four Wing Hotel is  located down Soi 26 from Sukamvit.  I will call this area from Sukamvit to the hotel along Soi 26 as Little Japan.   About three blocks from the hotel are a couple of streets where I found a number of Japanese restaurants. I’ll go there one day because I like Japanese food, but tonight I had business to take care of.  I passed the Japanese restaurants up looking for a Family Mart or Seven Eleven.  It’s like being in the military.   I’d eat on the run, and I wouldn’t eat a lot because too much food would slow me up. About one one block before I came to Sukamit I noticed a street that ran at an angle to my left.  Seeing a few massage parlors on this little street I decided to check the situation out.  I soon came to Sukamvit so I took a left and started walking in the direction the hotel bellhop told me to go. But the go go bars were a lot further than I had thought.   I had to stop once or twice to get directions.   My last stop was at a massage parlor that was attended by a single woman who was in her late thirties or early forties.   I was tempted to give her a whirl but passed after getting directions from the woman.   On the way I stopped at a Seven Eleven where I bought a tuna fish salad sandwich and a Snickers chocolate bar.  That was my dinner and I ate both on the last leg of my walk.   After crossing to the other side of Sukamvit I found the street the massage lady told me to look for and found Soi Cowboy a couple of blocks down Sukamvit.   But it was about six p.m. so the go go bars hadn’t gotten a good start yet.  But a few beer bars intermixed among the go go’s were ready for action and several of the bar girls tried to get me to join them for a drink.  But I know myself too well. Realizing that once I started on the bar scene here,  I wouldn’t feel like leaving it for at least six hours and that would mean there would be no hope of connecting with my Japanese friend once he got back to the hotel from his business appointment . I was figuing he’d be getting back to the hotel around eight or so. I headed back towards the hotel.

Taking a taxi would have done me no good.   At five p.m. the traffic was godawful on Sukamvit and here it was past six and it was still terrible.   I noticed that there had been a lot of Japanese men on Soi Cowboy.   With the exception of Thais it seemed to me that nearly everyone on that stretch of Sukamvit was Japanese which suited me just fine. I almost felt like I was back in Tokyo.  So if you are Japanese and you are reading this episode, by now you know that I’m a lot more pro-Japan than against, and that I really have a keen appreciation of Japanese people in general.  I just don’t like the fact that Japanese men are paying far too much money for Thai go go girls, and that this is making go go bars very unappealing for any man who does not want to be taken advantage of.

Eventually I arrived back on that little diagonal street where I had seen all those massage parlors.  I spotted two places that were across the Soi from each other and decided to give one of them a try.  Several girls asked me if I want a massage so I walked over to them and asked them what they were charging for a Thai massage.

One of them, replied, “400 baht.”

“You must be kidding me,”  I responded.  I live in Pattaya and in Pattaya it’s just 200 baht for a Thai massage.”

The girl answered, “But here, not same.”

I went over to the massage parlor across the soi where I was immediately ushered inside by several of the girls.  I was immediately invited to sit down and asked what I went to drink.  I ordered a beer, and then the manager came over to me.  She handed me a price list of what kind of massages were being offered and at what prices, and then she directed every girl the place to come over to where I was sitting. There were six or eight girls.  Two or three of them were pretty good looking.  And by what I mean “good looking”  is far more attractive than what you are going to find at most massage parlours in Pattaya which are now filled for the most part by old hags.  This whole scene reminded me of those ranches or bordellos out in the Nevada desert where all the prostitutes parade in front of the prospective Johns, thus giving them a choice from all the girls who are available.

A Japanese man was brought over to the seat next to me and given a menu to choose from.  I noticed that  two time periods  were specified on the menu–45 minutes and 1 hour. I told the mamasan I was really Thai and that I wanted the Thai price.  She told me, I’d get everything during my massage which meant full service.  Then she pointed at the column for the 1 hour massages.  I think the price was 1800 baht, but the column listing the 45 minute massages showed a price of 1600 baht.  The mamasan indicated that I’d be getting a full hour with the girl of my choice for the 45 minute price.   Then she put her finger to her lips to indicate that I should keep my mouth shut and not tell the Japanese next to me that I was getting a lower price than he’d be getting.

It was difficult choosing between two girls in particular. So I chose one, paid the mamasan 1600 baht and followed the girl to a short time room. In the shower as we started to wash each other’s bodies I noticed that the girl had very large breasts. So I asked her: “Silicon?”

“Ka.”

“Falang buy for you?”

“I buy by myself.”

They were the largest breasts I had encountered in quite a spell. Normally I prefer girls with small tits or even no tits. After all, for me, it’s what’s in the box that counts. But here I was face to face with the largest tits I ever remember feeling on a Thai woman before.

The massage was good. Massages are always good. And then it was time for us to do our business. Had I wanted to, I really think that the girl would have kept me in that room for much longer than one hour. But I was wanting to get back to my hotel to see if my friend had returned. But one I got back to my room I found out that I had just missed him. A message was waiting for me that read, “I go out with someone from India.” Now that I couldn’t fathom. Perhaps my friend had a mia noi who happened to be from India. For perhaps this was another business contact with him. Or just someone he had met at the hotel and the two of them had decided to go to a restaurant. But no matter. I was going to go back to Soi Cowboy.

Soi Cowboy go go action
Bangkok Go Go girls

By the time I had walked back, the Soi Cowboy go go action had picked up considerably. My first stop was the Lighthouse, mainly because Pattaya Walking Street also had a lighthouse and that’s were we often will have a couple two for one happy hour drinks. Here at the Soi Cowboy Lighthouse, my beer runs me 160 baht. I am immediately accosted by a decent looking girl so I buy her a Tequila. But no sooner than she gulps it down, does she tell me, “I have to go up to the stage and dance.”

“Well…so much for that. Obviously this place is everybit as bad as the Lighthouse on Walking Street where the sole object of the game is to fleece all the male patrons of as much money as possible while giving back the absolute minimum in return. I can’t wait to get out of this clip joint, gulp my beer down and pay my bin without even giving the girl a glance.

My next stop’s at the Dundee Bar. This is a pretty boring place or at least it is tonight. I sit down, order a beer, and a girl comes up to ask me to buy her a drink. I send her away cause she’s just not meeting my standards. But later I am joined by another girl so I ask her what it’s going to cost me for short time sex. I thnk she tried to tell me the bar fine was 3000 baht. But I’m not really sure. So I tell her about Soi Six in Pattaya and how I get the room, the girl and barfine all in one for 1300 baht. But she’s not having any of that so she winds up leaving me alone with my beer which suits me just fine.

I don’t get very far once I leave that go go for the next. A pretty girl is standing outside the Toy Bar, which at first appears to be a beer bar. She invites me in for a beer, telling me it’s just 110 baht for a bottle. Such a low price persuades me to have at least one beer in the place. What she doesn’t tell me is that her lady’s drink is going to cost me 200 baht so when you add the two prices together it comes to 310 baht which is about the same as you will paying in most go go bars where it’s usually around 150 or 160 for the beer and another 150 or 160 for the lady’s drink. Anyways, this girl is really something. She’s got a body to die for. I think I’d come even before I achieved full entry. But nevermind, I’m Uncle Bufford and I’m on a mission and that’s to cover as many go go bas here as possible.

The girl and I sit down at a small table next to a small stage. A girl is dancing right next to us and she’s nearly as beautiful as the girl who’s aleady sitting next to me. My girl speaks excellent English so I ask her a lot of questions about short times, and long times and how much the barfines are and so on. She tells me, “I’m coyote.”

Then I tell her how the Coyote girl routine works out in Pattaya Walking Street where the girls must sell their quota of fifty lady’s drinks every ten days. She explains all the minimums she must pass, but it’s nothing at all like it is on Walking Street. There’s something I’m missing. But the bottom line is this…..she tells me it’s going to cost a man 5000 baht to fuck her. I think she told me her barfine is 3000 baht, but I’m not sure on that either. This would mean she would be getting 2000 baht for the short time. Eventually she politely excuses herself by telling me it’s her turn to dance, and then she starts taking her turn on the small stage. Eventually I check bin and tell her goodbye. Her facial expressions tells me she’s surprised that I”m leaving so early and that I’m not waiting for her to come down off the stage. But she’s been up there at least 20 minutes and I’m bored shitless. But damn, she’s quite the looker and she seems pretty bright, a good conversationalist, and I almost cave in to stay with her until I decide to head back to my hotel.

But I’ve got at least one more review to do. On the way into Soi Cowboy I noticed Cowboys II which seems to be a larger go go than most of the rest. I decide to give that one a go. In no time I have a very cute girl sitting next to me. I buy us both a drink, then I ask her what her barfine is. She tells me it’s 800 baht. Then she tells me that she doesn’t want to go with anyone that night. Perhaps she’s on her period? Anyway, who cares. I’ve already had enough sex with the massage girl. And I”m having an 8 a.m. breakfast with my Japanese friend in the morning. The last thing I need to contend with is a girl in my hotel room. With my luck she might be difficult to arouse early in the morning. And who knows, I might like her so much that she will wind up having sex with me until 5 a.m.

So I go home alone. Or back to my hotel. But before signing off on this review of all that Bangkok Soi Cowboy go go action, there are a few things I want to mention. First is, in general the music in the Soi Cowboy Bars is much better than one finds down on in the Pattaya Walking Street go gos., which plays a godawful amount of pure noise that I call Da Da. Second….the last time I went to Soi Cowboy drinks were substantially more expensive than they are in the Pattaya Walking Street go go’s. Now they are about the same. 160 baht a beer on Soi Cowboy pretty much nails it and sometimes they are a little less. On Walking Street they are now running between 140 and 170 baht. It also seems to me that there are a lot more brain dead go go dancers down on Pattaya Walking Street than there are on Soi Cowboy. I can’t remember even once that I was left alone at a single Soi Cowboy go go bar. There was always at least one girl asking me if she could sit with me. Forty or fifty percent of the time the Pattaya Walking Street girls will not only allow me but also my friends to leave the premises without even attempting to get attention from any one of us. So, either the go go bars on Soi Cowboy are much better managed than they are on Pattaya Walking Street or the girls are simply not as lazy, and no doubt on average simply more intelligent. And as for the music, the music is so terrible in more than 50 % of the Walking Street bars that I feel insulted and belittled as a man for lowering myself so much as to even be buying drinks in such places in the first place.  But can I honestly contend that Bangkok Soi Cowboy go go action is superior to what one finds on Pattaya Walking Street?  That’s a difficult choice to make based on the fact that only this once have I ever reviewed the Bangkok Soi Cowboy go go action, and it is unlikely that I will be getting up to Bankok that often.

Pattaya GO GO Bar Sex prices continue to rise

It’s Uncle Bufford again, still on the job monitoring the rise of  Pattaya Go Go Bar sex prices. This time I”m talking down Windmill Go Go, Supergirls, Sugar Babes, and the Doll House Go Go. But first I want to make some general observations which are long overdue but which I can now put in better perspective since I’ve just returned from visiting the Soi Cowboy go go bars in Bangkok.

Pattaya Go Go Bar sex is readily available
Pattaya Walking Street

First off, in general the music in Pattaya Walking Street Go Go bars is really piss poor. Second,   Pattaya Go Go Bar sex on Walking Street continues to get worse, due to the stupidity and greed of most of the go go bar owners. Third, the mamasans are becoming increasingly meddlesome by trying to control how much money customers must pay for short time or long time sex. Fourth, most of my German, English, and Scandinavian friends who’ve bought condos here won’t be caught dead in such places, and if I’m successful in convincing them to join me and Billy Bob, they  leave us after hitting only one of two go go clubs. But don’t get me wrong.  They are completely devoted to having sex with as many women as possible.   And although they absolutely will not indulge in high priced Pattaya Go Go Bar sex,   they will haunt the Walking Street discos looking for sex partners  in the early hours of the morning where there’s no  bar fines.    Those late hours are way too late for me, but it’s during those late hours that go go girls who have already done a short time or two hang out looking for one last customer so they can send even more money  home to Mama and Papa.  These European friends of mine targeting the discos have more than enough money to afford those exorbitant go go prices–it’s just  that they won’t put up with being treated like a clueless tourist dupe who doesn’t know any better. Fifth, in spite of all my negative comments about Walking Street go go bars and the go go girls, it is still possible to find a decent babe in the go go’s, but, we are talking about less than 10 percent odds here.

But. it’s time to move on.  Our little group heads to the Windmill Club on Soi Diamond just off Walking Street to start things off. I will be honest. I don’t like the Windmill at all, but several of my friends do.  As I’ve said before, the Windmill is a Dirty Old Man’s Paradise. It’s overcrowded, and in my opinion it attracts the worse low lifes in Pattaya. Nothing is sacred here. Any man, no matter how ugly he is or how despicably rotten and disgusting his behavior is  licensed to do just about anything he wants to the bodies of the girls in full view of everyone in the place. But unless I get seated on the stage, usually I am ignored by the prettier girls at the Windmill, and when I am targeted by one of the bar girls it’s usually by someone who’s so unattractive that I wouldn’t fuck her with your dog’s dick.  Bottled beer here is 160 baht, which is practically double what you are going to have to pay over on Soi Six or a beer bar.

Our next stop is the Dollhouse. But tonight only Billy Bob comes with me. One week later there’s four or five of us. Bottled beer costs 150 baht which is ten baht cheaper than Windmill’s prices, but the scenery is even worse. There’s only a few customers here, and one look at the girls tells me why. This is the house of Pudge, which means it’s not for me because I like slender women. On this first night, me and Billy Bob are having our beers alone. We only have one each and leave thankful to not having a single one of the pudges pounce on us. The next week we are not so lucky. A couple of inmates of this dog kennel come straight over to Billy Bob and me. I do want to mention that although this club has cheaper beers on draft, I no longer buy drafts in the Walking Street go go’s out of fear that someone’s going to be spitting in my beer before the waitress brings it over to me. The two fatties who’ve descended on Billy Bob and me, don’t last long, because I’m not about to hang out with a high dollar Walking Street go go dancer whose body is in far worse shape then mine and I know that Billy Bob feels the same way that I do.

Next stop is Super Girls. As I’ve mentioned in an earlier review, Super Girls go go  used to have some of the highest priced beers on Walking Street at 120 baht a bottle with no happy hours or drink specials. It kept its prices at 120 baht for years while the other go go bars kept increasing their prices to the 140-160 baht range. But times are tough now in Pattaya’s bars. Westerners simply are no longer coming here in the numbers they did in past years. So Super Girls seems to be resorting to the time honored Thai economic model that if the number of customers keeps decreasing, it’s time to keep raising the prices whereas businesses in Western countries  lower their prices so that they can attract more customers.   At Supergirls beers are now 140 baht a bottle. I’ve also noticed that at Super Girls the mamasans hang close to  the girls so that they pocket commissions by demanding much higher prices than the girls would charge if they were left alone to negotiate one on one with the customers.   Lesson to be learned–Have as little to do with the Mamasans as possible.  Most of them are total parasites.

You can now figure on being asked to pay a 1000 to 1500 baht bar fine for Walking Street go go dancers due to the Coyote Girl Plague that is now infesting Pattaya’s go go’s. However, there’s still a few girls whose bar fines are 800 baht, which is still far too high but better than 1500 baht.

I decide to buy a girl a drink. Which is now my new policy when dealing with Super Girls.  Just keep in mind that every woman on this planet earth is different, so it is still possible to find a go go girl who is not a robot. There’s a pretty girl dancing at the far end of the stage.  I motion at her to join me for a drink.  A few minutes later she comes off the stage and sits next to me.

She’s decidedly much more hands on than most of the girls in this place. Most of the girls are pretty reserved until you get a couple or three drinks in them. But this one’s got a fine body and she doesn’t hesitate to start putting her hands all over me.  But I can’t blame her for that.  I have a great body, and it must be like a picnic for her to get to fondle me instead of all those fat slobs who she gets stuck with most of the time.

Then I ask her the magic question which is “How much must I pay to be able to fuck you.?” But let me warn all you newbies reading these pearls of wisdom to never ask this question. Instead you should say, “I will pay you X amount for boom boom.” The reason is the girl will probably come out with a much higher price than she’s willing to settle for. Many girls once they suggest a price will never lower it for fear of losing face.

But if I tell this girl, “I will boom boom you for 1500 baht for example,” and if she accepts my offer, then I feel that I have to honor my word. In this case I plan not to bang the girl. I only want to get their prices so that I can put them in my Uncle Bufford go go bar reviews. Without batting an eye the girl tells me, “Bar fine is 800 baht. For short time you must pay me 3000 baht. She must think I’m Japanese, obviously.  I can’t wait to leave the place. First, this girl thinks I’m a stupid tourist even though I’ve told her I’m not. So she’s too stupid to be worth spending anymore of my time with, no matter how pretty she looks.

This same sort of thing happened to me several weeks ago at Naughty Girls which is a couple bars down from Super Girls.    Naughty Girls seems to have a proliferation of much younger girls than average.  Some of these girls are jail bait. Anyways, the who sits with me admits to being 21 or so.  She was pretty and had a nice firm figure.   But Naughty Girls is not exactly a top of the rung Walking Street go go.  It’s not quite a dive either. It’s just very ordinary, so I was really surprised when the girl told me her bar fine was 1500 baht. Now that’s 42 bucks just to get her out of the bar, and then she wants another sixty dollars for a short time. Putting all this in perspective, back when I was living in the Saint Louis Metro East in my old whoring days I was paying the same $100 but that was for an entire night. The girls I took to all those hotels were much smarter than the average Walking Street go go girl and a lot more fun to be around.

Somewhere along the line we went to Sugar Babies because one of my friends likes it there.  I’ve found that on at least two occasions the staff was inexcusably slow at getting me my change and on another occasion the service girl never gave me my change back. I had to ask another staff member to hunt her down so I could get my change back.  I think this is done on purpose with the club and at least some of the service people hoping the customers will leave before getting their change back.  The place was about as boring as usual for me with most of the girls being too unattractive for my tastes.

Our last stop was Electric Blue. Bottled beer was 150 baht. I only vaguely remember going there. I’m now reading in my notes…”Good Looker at the end” which must have meant that I saw only one girl I was attracted to in the entire club.

I must say that this night I had a pretty high and mighty opinion of myself. There’s some pretty attractive girls I’ve met recently but some of them are working at real jobs. Some of them are over on Soi Six. But most of the Walking Street girls are like most of the sex tourists here, a dime a dozen.  But in my next review it’s time to cover what I discovered in Bangkok.

The Soi Six Go Go Bar Walking Street Connection

Uncle Bufford talks about Soi Six Go Go Bar
It’s me. Uncle Bufford Again.

One should never pay too much for Walking Street go go girls. One reason is the Soi Six Go Go Bar Walking Street Connection. Lately, all of U’s will have noticed that I’ve made my strong preferences for Soi Six bars well known on account of cheaper beers, built in 300 baht short time rooms, and cheaper and better wimmen. But tonight kinda rekindled my passion for Pattaya Go Go bars.

It all started out with me and Billy Bob going to the Crazy House Go Go first. This was because we both admitted most of the time we had the most fun there. Maybe it was because Crazy House has the same toilet for the wimmen and the men and the toilet is often a wonderful place for meeting a lot of sexy wimmen. Cum to think of it that toilet there is so good that I sometimes am taking a piss, when a girl comes up behind me and starts giving me a massage. There’s also the exciting possibility that if a man buys a go go dancer enough tequila that he can take her back into one of those toilet stalls for a short time. Anyways if a girl isn’t a coyote, the bar fines 800 baht. Now that ain’t good but it’s a damn sight better than these other places all a chargin 1500 baht for them coyotes. Never mind my sidekick here, Billy Bob, who always seems to get the most rotten luck in the world. Even at Crazy House he seems to keep attractin them coyotes with large bar fines.

As soon as we walk into Crazy House, I knows my Dick is in for trouble. It’s that girl who was a wearing them glasses the last time. I see her sitting by herself as soon as I come into the place and she sees me too. So as soon as me and Billy Bob sit down she’s on me like a hyena onto something that’s already been killed. Pretty soon she’s on me, with those hypnotic eyes of hers.  Her hands are all over my body. She unbuttons my shirt. She feels between my legs where my bigger brain lurks. It becomes bigger and bigger as it starts to take control of whatever resolution I first brought into the place.

Pretty soon, Billy Bob’s got a girl on him trying to milk him for drinks. He doesn’t look too happy so I tell him that as soon as we finish our drinks we should go to the next place. The girl tells me, “I really like you.” A few moments she tells me, “I want you now.” In a moment of weakness I promise to come back (for her) after hitting several more go go’s with Billy Bob, and she says to me, “Okay, I wait for you.”

I figure she will. After all, I’m Uncle Bufford and there’s nobody in Pattaya who’s like me. I’ve got them kind of eyes that tell a woman, “Trust me”. I’ve also got a made by Viagra big dick. But unlike all those Japanese who keep cummin into these go go’s I’m not afraid to let all the girls play with it. I’ve got a great body too. It’s one that’s gotta put all their Thai boyfriends to shame. I’m on top of the world and I knows the wimmin can see that.

We gets only  a few feet down Walking Street from Crazy House when suddenly a girl runs right up to me, callin out my name. I takes one look at her, and I’m a thinkin, “She’s gotta be some girl I met workin a job somewhere. Maybe it was Home Pro or Power Buy, Seven-Eleven or Lotus. She sure don’t look like no bar girl.  She’s got too wholesome a face to be a workin at a bar. She’s cute.

“I work over there,” she tells me. Come see me.” She’s pointin at a small go go bar called Infinity. “New bar,” she says.

I promise to see her soon, but we gotta go to another place first.

Next go go is Super Girls. And sure enough they’ve got all that horrible DA DA music going in there again. Let me check my notes. Yep. First song’s DA DA. I got it all written here. Second song’s DA DA too. And the third and the fourth. I must have gotten tired of writing. But a lot of these wimmen are smiling at us, especially from the stage. Across the stage is Billy Bob’s friend. She’s one of the prettiest girls in the place, and she looks a lot like my favorite Soi Six girl. But if you get them lying down naked next to each other, I’m a bettin my Soi Six girl wins. She’s got the golden pussy too. The kind of pussy that men dies for.

With that kind of knowledge in my small brain, I am ready for anything. There’s a girl dancing in front of us pointing to her friend as she smiles down at us. Her friend’s got big tits. A nice body too. I tell Billy Bob, “I’m buying that one with those silicon breasts a drink. I won’t be bar fining her though. On account of my promise to the girl back at Crazy House. And that girl we met back in the street who knows me. “Man, now where do I know her from?”

Now how much do I like Big Tits Anyway? Are they really worth 3000 baht short time with them for me?

Suddenly it comes back to me. She’s the one I met down at that Soi Six go go bar. I even took her upstairs once. That stupid owner was a chargin 120 baht for a beer and 500 baht for his short time rooms. Poor girl. And she was really nice. But I had told her every other Soi Six Bar was only a chargin 300 baht for its rooms and I really couldn’t bring myself to payin 500 baht just because a stupid Australian thought customers were stupid enough to pay him 500 baht just because he had a Soi Six Go Go Bar.  I was going to pay this girl 1000 baht. But I told her since her big boss was so greedy, I was a willin to give her 800 baht. She agreed so I took her upstairs, and guess what? That short time room was just as bad as the worse short time rooms on Soi Six. And then–just a few weeks ago, I was a drinkin with that same girl down on Soi Six. I had come into that place in a rotten mood, but she remembered me, came up to me as I sat alone at the bar. So I bought her a drink and pretty soon we were huggin each other and I just felt good all over. She just felt so right. And she wasn’t pushy and she never ever asked me for a drink in the first place. I had even showed her my Uncle Bufford go go bar review notes and said that she would probably be my most memorable girl of the night. She would have been to except later on I met the girl with the hypnotic eyes in Crazy House, had bar fined her, and that had been that. And here once again, I’d be passin on that Soi Six girl for that seductress from Crazy House.

I tell Billy Bob about the Soi Six girl. Then I make him a bet.

“I bet that within the next two months that I’ll be short timing one of these go go girls for 1000 baht.  It might be the ”Soi Six Go Go Bar girl but it could easily be anyone of these girls we are lookin at right now.”

Billy Bob says nothing. He knows I can do it.

Then I smile at the girl with the big tits and motion to her like I’m drinking and point to her. Then I tell Billy Bob, “I’m buying her a drink, and then the next time we comes in here, I’m buying another girl a drink so that each time I’m getting a girl a drink. This way I can meet a lot of girls and get a good idea of what this place is all about. Then I’ll wait until low season hits and most of these girls aren’t makin any money. That’s when I git them for a thousand baht.  The easiest way is for me to bang the Soi Six Go Go Bar girl for a thousand baht.  I already short timed her for 800 baht at the  Soi Six Go Go Bar.  When the other girls know I’m doing her for 1000 baht, I’ll have it made in that new go go bar.”

In five minutes the girl with the big tits is sittin beside me. I ask her how old she is, but I can’t remember that now, but I seems to recall she was only twenty-one. My next question is, “Where did you buy those big tits?” From Bangkok?”

She says yes.

I thought of Bangkok first because I remembers how this old girlfriend of mine had taken me to a big clinic where they make tits and vaginas for lady boys who want to replace their dicks with pussies. My girlfriend had been shopping for a new nose. She bought one too. But she got her new nose later courtesy of her new boyfriend who was a fat German who had to get special shocks on his motorcycle because he was too gargantuous for its little frame.

“Want to feel them?” the girl asks me as she cups a small hand around one of her nipples.

I feel one of them gently. But I feel it just a little bit because I don’t want her or the other girls to think I’m a dirty old man.

After I ask her a few more questions I tell her “Not tonight, but later someday”, in my horrible Thai (My Shy Yenee. Tilang Kap). “How much boom boom you?”

I’ve got my Uncle Bufford notepad in front of us on the bar. My pen too, so she takes my pen and writes down 800 baht as she explains “that’s for the bar fine.” She asks, “For short time?”

I tell her, “Yes.  Short time.”

I like that girl from the Soi Six Go Go Bar
Now, how much do I really like Big Tits? Are they really worth 3000 baht to have a short time with them?

Then she writes down 3000 baht.

The girl with the golden tits. That’s what I’m calling her from this point on. Needless to say, I’ve got 1000 baht on my mind. I’ve already promised the girl with the hypnotic eyes and I sure as hell am going to be back a lookin for that ex Soi Six go-go girl before I even get back to Crazy House.

The girl with the big tits goes back to the stage, Billy Bob and I check bin, and then we walk out of the place.

“I gotta go home now,” says Billy Bob. “I am sure you are going to get well taken care of down at Infinity Go Go.”

Infinity Go Go is a pretty weird place. There’s a long stage running down the entire room which is long and kindof narrow. On both sides of that stage there’s a long row of small tables and padded bench style couch. There’s very few customers here but most of them are sittin on the left side of the stage while most of the girls are all sittin together all along the right side. All of these people are facing each other across the stage like it’s some kindof dating game where the men are too afraid to approach the wimmen and the wimmin are equally scared to be coming up to the men.

My girl is sitting on the right side about half way down. I notice her straight off because she’s smiling at me. A waitress sandwiches me between the girl and two other girls who have been sitting with her. The other two girls end up sitting to my immediate left.

Once again, they’ve got that awful DA DA music going again. Must be a sign of the times. Times in which the people are more stupid than they’ve ever been before and in which hardly anyone ever reads a book. It’s a time when most people have to find their own little worlds in Face book and practically everyone’s got these little smart phones. It is a time when people don’t have cameras anymore. They are all using smart phones and Ipads because they are too lazy to be a learning how to use anything else. It is a time for mediocrity and a time for morons.

I make it very clear to the girl that I cannot bar fine her tonight. She keeps asking me where I am going, and I tell her I’m going somewhere else down the street. Then she asks me, “When you go back to America.” I tell her in a few months, and then she starts to pretend to cry.

I’m drinking beer as usual. She’s having something with whisky in it. Unlike most lady drinks, it’s got a lot of real alcohol in it. She takes her time with it, and I don’t buy her another until she’s already been nursing it for a half an hour. Obviously she’s no coyote. She’s a lot of fun too.

She has me hold her hands so that I can read her fortune. I vaguely remember doing this with her down at the Soi Six Go Go Bar. From time to time she puts her hand on my crotch, furtively, shyly, and not at all like the girl with the hungry eyes. She massages my arms and plays with my hands. We are having a good time.

I ask her, “Why you finish that Soi Six Go Go Bar?”

“I have problem with Big Boss,” she tells me.

“That Soi Six Go Go Bar you worked at will not last long.  Every other bar on Soi Six charges 85 to 90 baht a beer.  But he charges 120 baht.  Every other Soi Six Bar charges 300 baht for a short time room.  He charges 500 baht for a shitty room.  He does not know how to manage a bar.”

I can’t be sure, but I think she’s one of those kind of people who are “What you see is what you get”.

The beer costs 135 baht here, which is a little cheaper than most of the other Walking Street go go bars. When I ask her what her bar fine is she tells me, “I don’t know. The place is new.”

Meanwhile I’m also talking to the two girls sitting to my left. My girl has to get up on the stage to dance. So I ask them what the bar fine is. They don’t know either. So they motion another girl over to us. She doesn’t even know but she goes to the other end of the stage to find someone who does. She comes back. For a while she sits next to me as one of the girls I had been talking with has to take her turn on the stage. “1100 baht,” she tells me.

I’m making it clear to all the girls around me that my girl and I are good friends, and that we have known each other for a long time. But I never mention Soi Six to any of them. That’s up to the girl and if she wants to keep that a secret, I will honor her wanting to be quiet about her past employment down on Soi Six.

“Hym. 1100 baht bar fine? Those greedy bastard bar owners.” I’ll be making her a deal for 1000 baht.  Just not sure when.  One thing’s almost for sure.  She’s not going to be playing a lot of those stupid Walking Street Go Go bar girl games most of them play. I stay here far too long.  It’s gettin kind of late and I need to be back a collectin that girl with the hypnotic eyes.  In the meantime for all of you readin these pearls of wisdom, there really is a Soi Six Go Go Bar connection.  I distinctly remember the go go dancer from Heaven Above working down on Soi Six later on where the price no doubt went immediately down from 2000 baht short time to 1000 baht or even lower.  Then there were the two pretty girls Billy Bob and I met in a Soi Six bar who had been working the Walking Street go go bars but were unable to make much money there.  One of my old time favorites had tried working at Baccarat, but had gone back to her old Soi Six bar after not making enough money at Baccharat. And to top it off, there was that really tall girl from Crazy House I had once paid too much for, and then I wound up buying her a drink at that Soi Six Go Go Bar a few weeks later.   I thought she was pretty hot, but I never bar fined her again even if her price no doubt went way down.  That other girl with the golden pussy from another Soi Six Bar was simply too much competition.   My point is these were all the same girls. The only things that had changed was the price and the packaging.

DA DA music drives me out of Walking Street Go Go’s

I like tits a lot more than DA DA Music
I want a girl for only one thing tonight

Last night nerve jarring DA DA music in the Go Go Bars drove me out of Walking Street totally disgusted. I was disgusted with the go go bar owners who are obviously incredibly stupid. I was disgusted with the go go girls for putting up with such shit. And I was even more disgusted with all the go-go customers for not leaving  as I had just done. Let me be clear just how bad Da Da music is. It is the most primitive kind of music there ever was, consisting of just two notes, with one being higher or lower pitched than the other. With DA DA one ends up with two basic sounds, one delivered after the other at varying speeds. Exampe….Da followed with a DA! Then Da Da (softer pronunciation of the vowel a) followed with DA (a harsher or harder A sound). The Da’s might begin at a slow rate of speed such as Da–Da——-DA———DA, da–da before getting into a more rapid pronunciation of the Da…..as in da-da-da-da-da. Then DA-DA-DA played in a louder tone. I used to think that Da DA had become popular with younger generations of Americans than mine, and that this was evidence of bad taste at a bestial level. I had been out of touch for so long with my fellow Americans after living in Thailand for the past ten years. But during my last trip to the United States, I had rented a car for two weeks, and after traveling through Illinois, Missouri, Colorado, Utah, and Arizona, I can’t remember ever having to listen to Da Da even once. So where had Da Da come from? At least most Americans still had the common sense not to listen to this kind of crap. But it’s doing alive and well in Thailand, especially in the Walking Street go go bars which have become so horribly managed that I cannot count a single expat who actually likes the damn place. But I’m Uncle Bufford, and I’ve got some work to do doing these Walking Street go go bar reviews even if the job is about as pleasant as shoveling shit down on the farm. So let’s get on with it.

My first stop was the Light House Go Go Bar where I got one vodka with lime for the 70 baht happy hour price.  The girls on the stage were all looking through the customers without seeing them–too busy viewing themselves in the mirror.  Since there wasn’t much happening here, I went to Super Girls.

My Beer was 140 baht a bottle. There were nearly twice as many girls there as the last time. My thinking was some coyote girls have moved here because they cannot sell short times for a 1500 baht bar fine and have gotten wise to how difficult it is to sell 50 ladies drinks in a 10 day shift. But the Da Da music was terrible. Three songs in a row was loud Da Da and I probably was not counting before. So even though the girls were promising I lasted 1 beer and told the waitress I was leaving on acount of the horrible music.

Sugar Babies—Beer was 150 baht and for this you got a lot of ugly women to Choose from. There was a Lady eating another gal’s pussy and vice versa on the stage but I think this was a lady boy who had been cut and had a vagina created where she had once had a dick. She had a loud masculine voice. “She” was fat. All in all she looked like a short verson of a professional wrestler. The music was for the most part, not da da, so I can say it was tolerable although not good.

Living Dolls Showcase–They charge a whopping 170 baht here. I suppose it must be for a stunning toilet although the last time I took a dump here (about 10 years ago) the toilet was just okay. There were several good looking girls here, but this is still not top class by any means. The gal in front of me on the stage was pretty cute, but not exactly a raving beauty. She kept watching herself in the mirror which is pretty standard procedure for these nitwits. Eventually she came off the stage to sit next to the guy sitting in his wheel chair next to me.

Baccharat–Upstairs thee place was loaded with Japanese. The place reminded me of the scenes in the “Deerhunter” in which Christopher Walken plays Russian Roulette and eventually shoots his brains out in front of Robert De Niro. I was seated at a table for four in the back which was somewhat distant from the stage. Nevertheless there were a number of gals back there. Although the beer was 160 baht a bottle, I could sit at this table unmolested and take n the view of the entire upper floor. One gal who appeared to be in her mid thirties motioned to me to pick out a girl dancing on the stage, but I motioned to her “Do not want.” A few minutes later she came up to me and I told her I liked the Soi Six girls who I got to bang for 800 to 1000 baht. I thought she was a waitress and for awhile she sat next to me with another girl. There was a guy sitting there. I had basically been thrown in with him because the place was packed with no chairs near the stage. Later this “waitress” took her turn at the stage. She turned out to have a pretty attractive body once she took most o f her clothes off. Another girl was sitting at the table when I check binned but I had been having no words with her or for that matter with the customer either.

Crazy House–I was wanting to avoid this place because I didn’t want to get laid tonight and I was afraid someone would come up and seduce me.  I knew from experience some of the girls would be hard to refuse. Sure enough, tonight a very attractive girl was there and within five minutes she was sitting next to me.

She was wearing dark framed glasses without lenses, which is normal because most Thai people don’t read much.  So they don’t need glasses unlike the Japanese and Taiwanese who take school seriously and actually respect people who are intelligent.

God I wanted her.  So I bought her a drink.  Thankfully there wasn’t any DA DA Music playing at the Crazy House tonight.  Right away we started kissing and then she suddenly had to go to the toilet.  But it wasn’t long before she came back, but this time she sat on my left side.  She wasn’t wearing her glasses either.  But her eyes kept drawing me in.  Then she started kissing me again as she started to stroke my dick which responded quickly to her wonderful touch.   A  funny thing happened next.  A second girl, this one wearing dark framed glasses, sat to my immediate right.  Then it dawned on me, that this was the girl I had wanted  before, the girl with the incredible magnetic eyes.  And now I had two girls stroking me between my legs.  I bought tequila for both of them.  After a few minutes the girl on my left escaped to either the stage or the toilet.  This left me alone with the main object of my desires.  I was about to buy her still another drink, when she got up and went somewhere.  I assumed at first the toilet, but then I saw her across the room talking to a couple of other go-go girls who were sitting at a small table.  She was gone for about ten minutes when I decided it was time to leave.  After all, I’m Uncle Bufford, and I’m the real star around this place.  I wait for no woman.  So this one’s going to just have to learn at the feet of the master who’s the main dick in this place.  So I check bin.  The waitress comes to collect my money.  Five minutes later I’m walking out of this Crazy House alone.  The girl is looking across the room at me, surprised I’m leaving and not telling her anything.  Her expression is one of incredulity.  She’s probably thinking I’m angry.  But I’m not.  I’ll come back for her later, on another night, but this next time she will have learned her lesson. She will be eating out of my hand. She will be my sex slave.   She will be putty in my hands.

 

Drinking Street Kwan performs at Pattaya Soi Eight Best Bar

Kwan Drinking Street star on Wongamat Beach
We kick off May May’s birthday at the Pullman Hotel. It’s Wednesday night, and it’s all you can drink and eat for three hours. We will be well primed when we hit the Best Bar on Pattaya Soi Eight.
Johannes at Wongamat Beach
When I sense a great video’s about to happen, I really want Johannes to be there

At the Best Bar, Drinking Street Kwan asks me,  “Do you think they will let me dance here?”

Drinking Street Kwan debuts at the Best Bar
Our little corner of the world went wild when she got up on the stage of a bar she had never been to before

We get the go ahead from one of the girls tending the bar, and then I tell Fon who had been taking English classes with Kwan.  “Now you will really see something.”  I know what

Drinking Street Kwan with Johannes
See what I mean? When it comes to making movies Johannes is better than Brando

Kwan can do and she’s in the mood.  My camera is small, but it’s got a Leica 1.4 lens with image stabilization.  This is one of the finest cameras in the world for shooting in low light and this bar is darker than most cameras can handle.  The music’s da da, or butt awful.

Drinking Street Kwan stands head and shoulders above the crowd
Kwan is deceptively tall. She’s 166 centimeters which makes her taller than the average American woman

But Drinking Street Kwan is sexier than ever before.  And my camera does not let me or Kwan down.  But the music’s just not good enough.  I must create a miracle–a soundtrack that is worthy of what we can do together.   I don’t know if I’ve succeeded or not so I will let you be the judge.

bar-girl-videos

Walking Street Mamasans exploiting customers and girls alike

Walking Street Mamasans will be found in the go go bars dealing with customer bar girl relationships
Pattaya Walking Street at Halloween.

Japanese in Walking Street go gos need to set prices with bar girls to avoid being exploited by Walking Street mamasans .  This goes for men of all nationalities visiting the Walking Street go go bars, and not just all of you Japanese.  The reason I’m focusing upon Japanese men is because most of you tend to be too nice and too accommodating in this snake pit that most Walking Street Go Go bars have become.  Japanese in general tend to give the other person the benefit of the doubt.  They are generally polite, and as a rule they tend to not haggle over prices that Walking Street Mamasans want to charge them for bar fines, short times,  or long time sex.  Trust me, although many of us will applaud your politeness, the Thais working the go go’s, especially the Walking Street mamasans view your politeness as a sign of either weakness or stupidity.  But I know that the opposite is true and that most Japanese men are neither weak nor are they stupid.  They are in my opinion the absolute cream of the Asian crop.

So please, take my good advice and take the upper hand over these go go rip off artists.

Another image of Walking Street on Halloween
Halloween on Pattaya Walking Street

Let me tell you about last week.  I had not one, but two Walking Street Mamasans in a row try to cheat me.  And keep in mind that I’ve lived in Pattaya for over 11 years now, and know that typical Thai management means charging their customers outrageous prices in order to pocket commissions for completely unjustified services.  This practice especially applies to Thai managers of condos who almost always charge condo owners prices for repairs that are double, triple and sometimes even ten times what they should be.  This is the way most Thai condo managers make their money.  It is understood by Thai condo technicians, engineers, maintenance people and vendors supplying repair items to condo communities throughout Pattaya.  I’ve found that even insurance companies typically give 15 % commissions to condo managers whose concept of management is to rip off their condo owners as much as possible.  So when I finish telling you my story about these two lying conniving Walking Street mamasans, you can be sure that I know exactly what I’m talking about.

Let’s start with go go bar number one.  Go go bar number one already has a History of beating up complaining customers so I will leave this go go bar unnamed as I do plan on going back there again.  Two weeks ago, Billy Bob and I asked one of the go go girls what the bar fine-short time policy was.  The way it works is a customer who wishes to take one of the go go girls out of the bar must pay 1.  a 800 baht bar fine and 2. An additional 1600 baht to “rent the girl” for up to two hours.  What this amounts to is he can have short time sex with the girl for up to two hours.  Longer periods of time, typically a whole night sleeping with a go go girl, might cost another 1000 baht or even more.  The key number, is 2400 baht which comes out to about $70.00.

Let’s compare this to the typical coyote go go girl scenario.  The bar fine for coyote girls is almost always 1500 baht, and for that all you get is the privilege of taking the girl out of the bar whether this is for a cup of coffee or a whole night of sex.  What you pay the girl is between you and the girl.  Usually she’s going to ask 2000 baht short time, but if you are Japanese (remember, these people know that most of you Japanese are too polite to argue) she is likely to charge you even more.  So it’s going to cost you $100 for short time sex.  In addition to this you’ve been paying for high priced drinks for not only your new girlfriend but also for her three sisters, the cocktail waitress who’s her cousin, and mamasan who’s a dear old friend.  If you want to take her out for the entire night, it’s going to cost you 3000 baht or even more plus that 1500 baht bar fine.  That’s more than $125.00 U.S.  However, most Walking Street go go bars hiring coyote girls will discount those 1500 baht bar fines to 1000 baht after 11 p.m. or midnight.

Go go Bars off Walking Street Soi Diamond
Soi Diamond go go bars –Shark Club, Super Girls, etc,just off Pattaya Walking Street

But back to Go Go Bar number one.  I take a seat in front of the stage.  Within the first five minutes several of the girls dancing in front of me are catching my eye.  Before I’m even half done with my first beer, a girl takes a seat next to my bar stool and starts speaking to me.  She’s from Chiang Mai, and her English is pretty good.  Overall she’s very nice, but she’s just a little too plump for my tastes.  I like girls who are very slender.  Girls with practically no belly on them.  I don’t care if they have big tits or not or even if they have tits that aren’t any bigger than mine.  I like girls with nice long slender legs who have a reasonable degree of good muscle tone, and lately I’ve been a real sucker for Thai women who are both tall and slender.   So although the conversation  is going well with this girl, she just doesn’t have what I’m looking for.  After twenty minutes of conversation during which I’ve bought her a drink or two, she politely tells me she has to go back onto the stage to dance.  So I let her go, knowing that before I have another two or three drinks, I will be finding a girl who’s body really trips my trigger.  Within five minutes after the first girl’s departure, a girl walks behind me to join two other girls who are sitting at a small table by the club’s exit door.  But she accidentally swipes my back with her arm as she walks past me.

Accidentally, my ass!   I know how this game goes and I’m onto her.  But this one’s got a cute little body and she’s also pretty in the face.  “She wants me”, I tell myself.   “Well, okay, she wants my money.  I can’t really lie to you all.”

I look over at her and she looks back at me.  Then I wave her over, as I pat the bar stool next to me to emphasize that I plan on buying her a drink.  Within seconds she’s sitting next to me, and let me tell you guys, she’s got a great body.  She has no belly on her whatsoever.  Her legs are as firm as an athlete’s.   But I’ve gotta admit.  I’ve got a great body also, and this babe’s checking me out straight off.  Within minutes she’s got her hands all over my legs.  And she’s feeling my arms to see how muscular they are.  Then her hands glide all over my stomach.   She finds out I’m not a lard ass like most Westerners visiting Pattaya.  And I can tell she loves what she’s feeling.  I buy her a drink.  I don’t even know what I bought her, but by the time she’s only half done with it, I order her a tequila and another beer for myself.

After she has two tequilas, she’s putting her arms around me, and then we are kissing each other on the lips.  This kind of thing normally doesn’t happen in Go Go Bar Number one.  It is not one of those “hands on” kind of go go bars most of my friends prefer.  It’s definitely not a bar for groping the girls.  In fact I can’t ever remember my ever having groped a girl here or even seeing other customers putting their paws all over the girls.  But man,  this place is changing for me in a hurry.  The girl and I are all over each other, and I want this woman now.

I tell her I want to pay her bar fine and take her to a hotel short time room.  But her English is lacking so she calls the mamasan over.  I explain I want to pay bar for short time.  Several minutes later the mamasan hands me a bill on which she’s inked in 3300 baht for the girl.  Jesus Christ.  That Walking Street Mamasan knows better than to try and rip me off so I tell her that the bin is for too much money.  Mamasan tells me, “3300 baht for lady.”

I’m pissed.  I know the bin should only be for 2400 baht so I tell Mamasan that I can have sex down on Soi Six for 1100 or 1300 baht and that this includes the rental of the short time room upstairs for 300 baht.

The mamasan replies:  “Then go back to Soi Six then.”

I hope I have not lost any of you yet.  Especially my Japanese readers.  I am really pissed that this Mamasan is taking me for a stupid tourist who doesn’t know any better.  Notice also that I’m telling Mamasan that she’s wrong and that I’m right.  Now here in Thailand most Thai owned businesses have the attitude that “Customer is always wrong, but business is always right.”  I’m sure that you understand the role that “FACE” is playing here.  That 3300 baht mamasan is demanding is obviously very wrong, but “do you think that mamasan’s ever going to admit it?”  No way.  Instead she tells me to fuck off and go to Soi Six.”  Way to go you stupid CUNT.  (CUNT stands for “Can’t Understand Normal Thinking).

But here’s what’s really going on.  Mamasan plans on pocketing that extra 900 baht she’s demanding.  Do you think she’s trying to help this go go girl?  No way.  I’ve got this girl’s measure and she really wants to go with me.  Although it’s true that oftentimes go go girls will conspire to extort exorbitant prices from customers, this girl isn’t.  She’s just not the type.  This is all the evil work of this Walking Street Mamasan.   I give the girl a little kiss on the lips and I tell her I really like her.  Then I point to Mamasan and tell the girl Ba Ba.  Which means that Mamasan is completely crazy.  But I tell her that softly so that Mamasan cannot overhear me.  I then tell Mamasan that 3300 baht is too much and that i no longer wish to bar fine the girl.  I pay what I owe for drinks, and walk out.

I then go to Go Go Bar Number two which I’m not about to name in order to protect the guilty.  You will soon find out that the Walking Street mamasan in this go go is just as guilty of CUNT status as the mamasan was in go go bar number 1.

Peppermint Go Go bar girls
Peppermint Go Go Bar girls. Peppermint is part of a group of around 8 go go bars owned by the same company. These bars typically hire many Coyote girls

The coyote dancer I had sat with before saw me come in and made a beeline right for me.  Which was okay with me because she was nice.  The waitress was not working tonight.  To avoid having the girls doubling up on me and raid my wallet for drinks I insisted on sitting in front of the stage instead of one of the booths where the girls could all get into my pants.  This put me one on one with the coyote girl.  I asked her how she had come out on her 10 day shift.

“You work 10 days and must sell 50 drinks.  How many did you sell?”

She laughed and replied:  “I not do very well.  I sell only 20.”

My brain started to calculate the numbers.  Let’s see–at 10 days a shift she can work 3 shifts a month maximum.  So if the average ladies drink costs the customers 150 baht, this last shift she would have made 3000 baht which is 20 times 150 baht.  So, if she works 3 complete shifts in one month (which is unlikely because that means she doesn’t take a break), she will have earned 9000 baht.  Now, she might have had customers buy her out of the bar, but she’s probably asking 2000 baht short time, and since her bar fine is 1500 baht, she’s not going to get many men bar fining her.

This coyote business is killing her.  Of course she could be lying to me just so that I will feel sorry for her and give her money by 1. Buying her even more drinks than I normally would or 2. Bar fining her.

She’s cute, but she’s not a superstar.  She’s good company though so I stick around longer than I probably should.  We have a few drinks together.  Enough to make us both lose our inhibitions.  Right in front of the stage we do a lot of feely stuff.  She’s stroking my legs and once in awhile my cock.  And I’m laying my hands all over her body.  In fact, I can’t even remember what kinds of things we did, except it was a bit too much right out in the open.  By this time, I’m wanting sex pretty bad.   That very trim go go girl from Go go number one had gotten my number.  And now after so many drinks, this very nice girl from Go Go Bar number 2 was applying the finishing touches.

Mamasan was  a constant presence, hovering about near the stage, keeping her eye on us.  I kept eyeballing my watch.  It was 12 midnight.  Time to make a move one way or the other.  Soi Six would soon be a lost cause.  The bars would all close there by 1 a.m.  It would take me 15 minutes to pay my bin, walk to the end of Walking Street, find a baht taxi and get to Soi Six.  I was looking at 12:15, and I usually stay in the short time rooms for forty minutes to one hour.  Oftentimes even more.  I could also go to Crazy House Go Go.  No doubt I’d find the girl there I had bar fined before.  The one with the sensational eyes.  But I had really been hoping for someone new and Go Go Bar Number One had been a huge disappointment.

I don’t remember exactly how I said it.  I didn’t tell the girl I was with I was going to bar fine her although I vaguely remember telling her how much I’d like to fuck her.  That’s the way it came out of my mouth.  But I was talking more to the mamasan than the coyote girl.  It went something like this:

“I love this girl and like to boom boom her but I think the bar fine is just too much.”

On that note the mamasan told me I’d have to pay 3300 baht to have sex with the girl.  That included a 1500 bar fine.  But it was already 12 midnight.  By this time the girl’s bar fine should have been brought down to 1000 baht.  That meant mamasan was probably planning on pocketing 500 baht.

I was sure of it.  I had dealt with this particular mamasan too many times before.   War, who had been the waitress, really liked me, and I had short timed her a few times.  The first time I had taken War to the short time room, she had all the time in the world.  War had kept showing me pictures in the room.  And she had invited me to spend the day with her during Songkran.  There would have been no bar fine then. But later on it seemed that Mamasan had clamped down on War so our short time affairs had gotten to be more hurried.  I knew it wasn’t War’s fault.  Then there was that night last year, when Billy Bob and I had sat back in one of the couches by one of the back stages where two girls sat with us.  One was the shapely coyote girl who had blown me on a couch at another stage and I had an orgasm in her mouth. But that night Mamasan had kept hanging around our little stage trying to get drinks out of me.  When I finally politely refused to buy her one she told the coyote girl that she could no longer suck my dick or even feel it.  That’s when Billy Bob and I paid our bins and left in a hurry.

I really would have bar fined this girl if the bar fine was 1000 baht and she had been willing to go with me for 1500 baht.  I was sure she’d go for 1500.  And quite possibly she would have gone for 1000 baht.  That’s what I used to pay all the Super Girls go go dancers a few years ago.  I think I could still do it, but I never have the time to play the game just right.

Once again I would up telling a girl how nice she was and how much I wanted to bar fine her, but mamasan was a very bad lady and because of the greedy mamasan I simply would not pay mamasan’s extortionate prices.

12 o’clock.  I had to go.  So I paid my bar bill and headed straight over to Crazy House.  The girl was there.  Because as when I came in the door I didn’t get more than twenty feet  when she was suddenly standing next to me staring up at me with those gorgeous eyes.  Ten minutes later we were leaving the place together,and five minutes after that we were in the short time room.  As before, her bar fine was 800 baht.  We never even had one drink together.  And this Walking Street Mamasan simply collected my 800 baht and saw us off with a smile.  I’d pay the girl later in the room.

She was every bit as terrific as she had been before.  Her long hair kept cascading around my face as I kept finding myself looking deeply into her eyes.  Kissing her was sensational.  I felt very comfortable, as if I was a fetus warm and snug in the womb.  This girl was great in bed, and not in a hurry at all.  She was also a lot of fun to be around in the club.

But back to all of you Japanese.  The lessons to be learned here are:  “Every single girl I bought drinks for tonight were really nice even though I saw a lot of other go go dancers around me who were obviously real snakes in the grass.  But the Walking Street Mamasans at go go bar number one and two were both greedy bitches who were only out for themselves so that they could line their own pockets.  I wouldn’t doubt that both go go girls I had been with at Go Go number one and two never got bar fined tonight.  I might not bar fine anyone out of go go bar number 2 simply because all of the girls are coyotes I think.  With the exception of the cocktail waitresses that is.  But go go bar number one is a different story.  There are few if any coyotes in that place.  I had misunderstood my good friend who had told me it was a take it or leave it proposition there.  Meaning a man wasn’t taking any girl out of there until he had paid the asking price of 800 baht plus the 1600 baht rental for the girl.

My friend later told me that this rental bullcrap had been designed expressly for you Japanese.  First, because you are all too willing to pay too much for sex and secondly because so many of you can’t speak either good English or Thai.  So this arrangement makes it easy for all concerned.

But what we all need to do is to simply avoid such Walking Street Mamasans when it comes to doing anything with the girls whatsoever.  So what I’m doing from now on, is I’ll be telling such Walking Street Mamasans that I’m only taking a girl out of the bar for a two hour coffee.  I’m even going to tell them I don’t even have a dick so there will be no talk about sex or the price of sex whatsoever.  But before I get around to paying that 800 baht bar fine over at Go Go Bar number one, I will already have a clear understanding with the girl on the price we have both agreed upon.  So here’s my thinking, especially with any of you Japanese customers who can’t speak very good English or Thai.  Let’s all bring pen and paper into these go go bars.   When that magic moment arrives where we discuss price with the go go girl of our choice we simply write two numbers down.  The first number will be the bar fine.  For example 800 baht.  The second will be the  tip we will be giving the girl.   I will be writing either 1500 baht on that paper or 1000 as the tip I am willing to pay.  Then I will point at this number and the girl, nod my head and smile.  No English or Thai will be necessary.  I will then put the slip of paper back into my pocket.  As for the Walking Street Mamasan…all she’s going to ever see is my bar fine because the rest is just between me and the girl.