Category Archives: Pattaya Bar Girls

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Pattaya GO GO Bar Sex prices explode

It’s Uncle Bufford again, still on the job monitoring the rise of  Pattaya Go Go Bar sex prices which continue to explode. This time I”m talking down Windmill Go Go Bar, Super Girls, Sugar Babes, and the Doll House Go Go. But first I want to make some general observations which are long overdue but which I can now put in better perspective since I’ve just returned from visiting the Soi Cowboy go go bars in Bangkok.

Pattaya Go Go Bar sex is readily available
Pattaya Walking Street

First off, in general the music in Pattaya Walking Street Go Go bars is really piss poor. Second,   Pattaya Go Go Bar sex on Walking Street continues to get worse, due to the stupidity and greed of most of the go go bar owners. Third, the mamasans are becoming increasingly meddlesome by trying to control how much money customers must pay for short time or long time sex. Fourth, most of my German, English, and Scandinavian friends who’ve bought condos here won’t stoop so low as to visit them.  And if I’m successful in convincing them to join me and Billy Bob, they  leave us after hitting only one of two go go clubs.

But don’t get me wrong.  They completely devote themselves to having sex with as many women as possible.   And although they absolutely will not indulge in high priced Pattaya Go Go Bar sex,  they will haunt the Walking Street discos looking for sex partners  in the early hours of the morning where there’s no  bar fines.

Those late hours are way too late for me.   Even it they enable me to void Pattaya Go Go Bar sex prices.  But it’s during those late hours that go go girls who have already done a short time or two hang out looking

for one last customer so they can send even more money  home to Mama and Papa.

These European friends of mine targeting the discos have more than enough money to afford those exorbitant go go prices–it’s just  that they won’t put up with being treated like a clueless tourist dupe who doesn’t know any better. Fifth, in spite of all my negative comments about Walking Street go go bars and the go go girls, it is still possible to find a decent babe in the go go’s, but, we are talking about less than 10 percent odds here.

But. it’s time to move on.  Our little group heads to the Windmill Club

on Soi Diamond just off Walking Street to start things off.

I will be honest. I don’t like the Windmill at all, but several of my friends do.  As I’ve said before, the Windmill is a Dirty Old Man’s Paradise. It’s overcrowded, and in my opinion it attracts the worse low lifes in Pattaya.

Nothing is sacred here. Any man, no matter how ugly he is or how despicably rotten and disgusting his behavior is  licensed to do just about anything he wants to the bodies of the girls in full view of everyone in the place. But sit by he stage,  I am usually ignored by the prettier girls at the Windmill.  But when I am targeted by one of the bar girls it’s usually by someone who’s so unattractive that I wouldn’t fuck her with your dog’s dick.

Bottled beer here is 160 baht. That’s  practically double what you are going to have to pay over on Soi Six or a beer bar.  Drafts are pretty cheap though.  But I try to stay away from buying draft beer these days from places like this that attract all the low lifes.  Who knows who’s been spitting in my beer?  Or how the employees are maintained the equipment?

Our next stop is the Dollhouse.

But tonight only Billy Bob comes with me.  One week later there’s four or five of us.  Bottled beer costs 150 baht which is ten baht cheaper than Windmill’s prices.  But here the scenery is even worse. There’s only a few customers  and one look at the girls tells me why.

This is the house of Pudge, which means it’s not for me because I like slender women. On this first night, me and Billy Bob are having our beers alone. We only have one each and leave, thankful to not having a single one of these pudges pounce on us.

The next week we are not so lucky. A couple of inmates of this dog kennel come straight over to Billy Bob and me. I do want to mention that this club has cheaper beers on draft.  But as I’ve already said, I stay away from draft beer unless I know an establishment is numero uno in quality control.

The two fatties who’ve descended on Billy Bob and me, don’t last long.  That’s cause I’m not about to hang out with a high dollar Walking Street go go dancer whose body is in far worse shape then mine.  I know that Billy Bob feels the same way that I do.

Next stop looking for inexpensive Pattaya Go Go Bar sex is Super Girls.

As I’ve mentioned in an earlier review, Super Girls go go  used to have some of the highest priced beers on Walking Street at 120 baht a bottle with no happy hours or drink specials. It kept its prices at 120 baht for years while the other go go bars kept increasing their prices to the 140-160 baht range.

But times are tough now in Pattaya’s bars. Westerners simply are no longer coming here in the numbers they did in past years. So Super Girls seems to be resorting to the time honored Thai economic model that if the number of customers keeps decreasing, it’s time to keep raising the prices whereas businesses in Western countries  lower their prices so that they can attract more customers.   At Super Girls  beers are now 140 baht a bottle. I’ve also noticed that at Super Girls the mamasans hang close to  the girls.  That’s  so that they can pocket commissions by demanding much higher prices than the girls would charge if they were left alone to negotiate one on one with the customers.

Lesson to be learned–Have as little to do with the Mamasans as possible.  Most of them are total parasites.

You can now figure on paying a 1000 to 1500 baht bar fine for Pattaya Go Go Bar sex

due to the Coyote Girl Plague that is now infesting Pattaya’s go go bars.  And that’s just to get the girl out of the bar.  This does not include what you have to pay her.  However, there’s still a few girls whose bar fines are 800 baht, which is still far too high but better than 1500 baht.

I decide to buy a girl a drink. Which is now my new policy when dealing with Super Girls.  Just keep in mind that every woman on this planet earth is different, so it is still possible to find a go go girl who is not a robot.

There’s a pretty girl dancing at the far end of the stage.  I motion at her to join me for a drink.  A few minutes later she comes off the stage and sits next to me.

This girl is much more hands on than most girls at Super Girls. Most of the girls are pretty reserved until you get a couple or three drinks in them.  But this one’s got a fine body and she doesn’t hesitate putting her hands all over me.  But I can’t blame her for that.

I have a great body, and it must be like a picnic for her to get to fondle me

instead of all those fat slobs who she has to suck up to most of the time.

Then I ask her the magic question which is “How much must I pay to be able to fuck you.?” But let me warn all you newbies reading these pearls of wisdom to never ask this question. Instead you should say, “I will pay you X amount for boom boom.” The reason is the girl will probably ask you for a much higher price than she’s willing to settle for.

Many girls once they suggest a price will never lower it for fear of losing face.

But if I tell this girl, “I will boom boom you for 1500 baht for example,”  If she accepts my offer,  I feel that I have to honor my word. In this case I plan not to bang any of the girls. I only want to get their prices so that I can put them in my Uncle Bufford go go bar reviews.

Without batting an eye the girl tells me, “Bar fine is 800 baht. For short time you must pay me 3000 baht. She must think I’m Japanese, obviously.  I can’t wait to leave the place. First, this girl thinks I’m a stupid tourist even though I’ve told her I’m not. So she’s too stupid to be worth spending anymore of my time with, no matter how pretty she looks.

At Naughty Girls I had a terrible experience looking for Pattaya Go Go Bar sex

Naughty Girls is only a couple of bars down from Super Girls.   Naughty Girls seems to have a proliferation of much younger girls than average.  Real jail bait some of these babes are.   Anyways, the girl sitting with me admits to being 21 or so.  She’s pretty and she has a nice firm figure.

But Naughty Girls is not exactly a top of the rung Walking Street go go.  It’s not quite a dive either. It’s just very ordinary.   So Naughty Girls really surprised  me when the girl tells me her bar fine is 1500 baht.  Now that’s 42 bucks just to get her out of the bar, and then she wants another sixty dollars for a short time!

Let’s  put all this in perspective.  Back when I was living in the Saint Louis Metro East during my old whoring days I was paying the same $100 FOR AN ENTIRE NIGHT.  The American girls I took to all those hotels were much smarter than the average Walking Street go go girl and I had a lot more fun with them.  Pattaya Go Go Bar sex simply costs too much, and it’s far more boring.

Usually.  Until I fill you in on my latest update with to Walking Street go go girls who surpassed all expectations.

We went to Sugar Babies next because one of my friends likes it there.

On at least two occasions the staff was inexcusably slow at getting me my change.  Another time the service girl never gave me my change back.  I had to ask another staff member to hunt her down so I could get my change back.  I think some of the service people do this on purpose hoping the customers will leave before getting their change back.  Sugar Babes was as boring as usual on account of most of the girls being whipped with ugly stick.

Our last stop was Electric Blue. Bottled beer was 150 baht. I only vaguely remember going there. I’m now reading in my notes…”Good Looker at the end” which must have meant that I saw only one girl who attracted me in the entire club.

I must say that this night I had a pretty high and mighty opinion of myself.

There’s some pretty attractive girls I’ve met recently but some of them are working at real jobs. Some of them are over on Soi Six.  But most of the Walking Street girls are just like most of the sex tourists here,  a dime a dozen.   They are not worth the high dollar Pattaya Go Go Bar sex prices they are asking.  But in my next review it’s time to cover what I discovered in Bangkok.

Ironically, Doll House will eventually become my favorite go go bar on Walking Street.  This is the supreme irony due to my giving it such a bad review here.  To find out more I recommend that you read Walking Street Doll House vs Annabelle Go Go Bars Golden Pussy.

The Soi Six Go Go Bar Walking Street Connection

One should never pay too much for Walking Street go go girls. One reason is the Soi Six Go Go Bar Walking Street Connection.

Uncle Bufford talks about Soi Six Go Go Bar
It’s me. Uncle Bufford Again.

Lately, all of U’s will have noticed that I’ve made my strong preferences for Soi Six bars

well known on account of cheaper beers, built in 300 baht short time rooms, and cheaper and better wimmen. But tonight kinda rekindled my passion for Pattaya Go Go bars.

It all started out with me and Billy Bob going to the Crazy House Go Go first. This was because we both admitted most of the time we had the most fun there. Maybe it was because Crazy House has the same toilet for the wimmen and the men and the toilet is often a wonderful place for meeting a lot of sexy wimmen.

Cum to think of it that toilet there is so good that I sometimes am taking a piss, when a girl comes up behind me and starts giving me a massage. There’s also the exciting possibility that if a man buys a go go dancer enough tequila that he can take her back into one of those toilet stalls for a short time. Anyways if a girl isn’t a coyote, the bar fines 800 baht. Now that ain’t good but it’s a damn sight better than these other places all a chargin 1500 baht for them coyotes. Never mind my sidekick here, Billy Bob, who always seems to get the most rotten luck in the world. Even at Crazy House he seems to keep attractin them coyotes with large bar fines.

As soon as we walk into Crazy House, I knows my Dick is in for trouble.

It’s that girl who was a wearing them glasses the last time. I see her sitting by herself as soon as I come into the place and she sees me too. So as soon as me and Billy Bob sit down she’s on me like a hyena onto something that’s already been killed. Pretty soon she’s on me, with those hypnotic eyes of hers.  Her hands are all over my body. She unbuttons my shirt. She feels between my legs where my bigger brain lurks. It becomes bigger and bigger as it starts to take control of whatever resolution I first brought into the place.

Pretty soon, Billy Bob’s got a girl on him trying to milk him for drinks. He doesn’t look too happy so I tell him that as soon as we finish our drinks we should go to the next place. The girl tells me, “I really like you.” A few moments she tells me, “I want you now.” In a moment of weakness I promise to come back (for her) after hitting several more go go’s with Billy Bob, and she says to me, “Okay, I wait for you.”

I figure she will. After all, I’m Uncle Bufford and there’s nobody in Pattaya who’s like me.

I’ve got them kind of eyes that tell a woman, “Trust me”.

I’ve also got a made by Viagra big dick. But unlike all those Japanese who keep cummin into these go go’s I’m not afraid to let all the girls play with it. I’ve got a great body too. It’s one that’s gotta put all their Thai boyfriends to shame. I’m on top of the world and I knows the wimmin can see that.

We gets only  a few feet down Walking Street from Crazy House when suddenly a girl runs right up to me, callin out my name. I takes one look at her, and I’m a thinkin, “She’s gotta be some girl I met workin a job somewhere. Maybe it was Home Pro or Power Buy, Seven-Eleven or Lotus. She sure don’t look like no bar girl.  She’s got too wholesome a face to be a workin at a bar. She’s cute.

“I work over there,” she tells me. Come see me.” She’s pointin at a small go go bar called Infinity. “New bar,” she says.

I promise to see her soon, but we gotta go to another place first.

Next go go is Super Girls. And sure enough they’ve got all that horrible DA DA music going in there again.

Let me check my notes. Yep. First song’s DA DA. I got it all written here. Second song’s DA DA too. And the third and the fourth. I must have gotten tired of writing. But a lot of these wimmen are smiling at us, especially from the stage. Across the stage is Billy Bob’s friend. She’s one of the prettiest girls in the place, and she looks a lot like my favorite Soi Six girl. But if you get them lying down naked next to each other, I’m a bettin my Soi Six girl wins. She’s got the golden pussy too. The kind of pussy that men dies for.

With that kind of knowledge in my small brain, I am ready for anything. There’s a girl dancing in front of us pointing to her friend as she smiles down at us. Her friend’s got big tits. A nice body too. I tell Billy Bob, “I’m buying that one with those silicon breasts a drink. I won’t be bar fining her though. On account of my promise to the girl back at Crazy House. And that girl we met back in the street who knows me. “Man, now where do I know her from?”

Now how much do I like Big Tits Anyway?

Are they really worth 3000 baht short time with them for me?

Suddenly it comes back to me. She’s the one I met down at that Soi Six go go bar. I even took her upstairs once. That stupid owner was a chargin 120 baht for a beer and 500 baht for his short time rooms. Poor girl. And she was really nice. But I had told her every other Soi Six Bar was only a chargin 300 baht for its rooms and I really couldn’t bring myself to payin 500 baht just because a stupid Australian thought customers were stupid enough to pay him 500 baht just because he had a Soi Six Go Go Bar.

I was going to pay this girl 1000 baht. But I told her since her big boss was so greedy, I was a willin to give her 800 baht. She agreed so I took her upstairs, and guess what? That short time room was just as bad as the worse short time rooms on Soi Six.

And then–just a few weeks ago, I was a drinkin with that same girl down on Soi Six. I had come into that place in a rotten mood, but she remembered me, came up to me as I sat alone at the bar. So I bought her a drink and pretty soon we were huggin each other and I just felt good all over.

She just felt so right. And she wasn’t pushy and she never ever asked me for a drink in the first place.

I had even showed her my Uncle Bufford go go bar review notes and said that she would probably be my most memorable girl of the night. She would have been except later on I met the girl with the hypnotic eyes in Crazy House, had bar fined her, and that had been that. And here once again, I’d be passin on that Soi Six girl for that seductress from Crazy House.

I tell Billy Bob about the Soi Six girl. Then I make him a bet.

“I bet that within the next two months that I’ll be short timing one of these go go girls for 1000 baht.  It might be the ”Soi Six Go Go Bar girl but it could easily be anyone of these girls we are lookin at right now.”

Billy Bob says nothing. He knows I can do it.

Then I smile at the girl with the big tits and motion to her like I’m drinking and point to her. Then I tell Billy Bob, “I’m buying her a drink, and then the next time we comes in here, I’m buying another girl a drink so that each time I’m getting a girl a drink. This way I can meet a lot of girls and get a good idea of what this place is all about. Then I’ll wait until low season hits and most of these girls aren’t makin any money. That’s when I git them for a thousand baht.

The easiest way is for me to bang the ex Soi Six Go Go Bar girl for a thousand baht.

I already short timed her for 800 baht at the  Soi Six Go Go Bar.  When the other girls know I’m doing her for 1000 baht, I’ll have it made in that new go go bar.”

In five minutes the girl with the big tits is sittin beside me. I ask her how old she is, but I can’t remember that now, but I seems to recall she was only twenty-one. My next question is, “Where did you buy those big tits?” From Bangkok?”

She says yes.

I thought of Bangkok first because I remembers how this old girlfriend of mine had

taken me to a big clinic where they make tits and vaginas for lady boys who want to replace their dicks with pussies.

My girlfriend had been shopping for a new nose. She bought one too. But she got her new nose later courtesy of her new boyfriend who was a fat German who had to get special shocks on his motorcycle because he was too gargantuous for its little frame.

“Want to feel them?” the girl asks me as she cups a small hand around one of her nipples.

I feel one of them gently. But I feel it just a little bit because I don’t want her or the other girls to think I’m a dirty old man.

After I ask her a few more questions I tell her “Not tonight, but later someday”, in my horrible Thai (My Shy Yenee. Tilang Kap). “How much boom boom you?”

I’ve got my Uncle Bufford notepad in front of us on the bar. My pen too, so she takes my pen and writes down 800 baht as she explains “that’s for the bar fine.” She asks, “For short time?”

I tell her, “Yes.  Short time.”

I like that girl from the Soi Six Go Go Bar
Now, how much do I really like Big Tits? Are they really worth 3000 baht to have a short time with them?

Then she writes down 3000 baht.

The girl with the golden tits. That’s what I’m calling her from this point on.

Needless to say, I’ve got 1000 baht on my mind. I’ve already promised the girl with the hypnotic eyes and I sure as hell am going to be back a lookin for that ex Soi Six go-go girl before I even get back to Crazy House.

The girl with the big tits goes back to the stage, Billy Bob and I check bin, and then we walk out of the place.

“I gotta go home now,” says Billy Bob. “I am sure you are going to get well taken care of down at Infinity Go Go.”

Infinity Go Go is a pretty weird place.

There’s a long stage running down the entire room which is long and kindof narrow. On both sides of that stage there’s a long row of small tables and padded bench style couch. There’s very few customers here but most of them are sittin on the left side of the stage while most of the girls are all sittin together all along the right side. All of these people are facing each other across the stage like it’s some kindof dating game where the men are too afraid to approach the wimmen and the wimmin are equally scared to be coming up to the men.

My girl is sitting on the right side about half way down. I notice her straight off because she’s smiling at me. A waitress sandwiches me between the girl and two other girls who have been sitting with her. The other two girls end up sitting to my immediate left.

Once again, they’ve got that awful DA DA music going again. Must be a sign of the times.

Times in which the people are more stupid than they’ve ever been before and in which hardly anyone ever reads a book. It’s a time when most people have to find their own little worlds in Face book and practically everyone’s got these little smart phones. It is a time when people don’t have cameras anymore. They are all using smart phones and Ipads because they are too lazy to be a learning how to use anything else. It is a time for mediocrity and a time for morons.

I make it very clear to the girl that I cannot bar fine her tonight. She keeps asking me where I am going, and I tell her I’m going somewhere else down the street. Then she asks me, “When you go back to America.” I tell her in a few months, and then she starts to pretend to cry.

I’m drinking beer as usual. She’s having something with whisky in it. Unlike most lady drinks, it’s got a lot of real alcohol in it. She takes her time with it, and I don’t buy her another until she’s already been nursing it for a half an hour. Obviously she’s no coyote. She’s a lot of fun too.

She has me hold her hands so that I can read her fortune.

I vaguely remember doing this with her down at the Soi Six Go Go Bar. From time to time she puts her hand on my crotch, furtively, shyly, and not at all like the girl with the hungry eyes. She massages my arms and plays with my hands. We are having a good time.

I ask her, “Why you finish that Soi Six Go Go Bar?”

“I have problem with Big Boss,” she tells me.

“That Soi Six Go Go Bar you worked at will not last long.  Every other bar on Soi Six charges 85 to 90 baht a beer.  But he charges 120 baht.  Every other Soi Six Bar charges 300 baht for a short time room.  He charges 500 baht for a shitty room.  He does not know how to manage a bar.”

I think she’s one of those “What you see is what you get”  kind of people

The beer costs 135 baht here, which is a little cheaper than most of the other Walking Street go go bars. When I ask her what her bar fine is she tells me, “I don’t know. The place is new.”

Meanwhile I’m also talking to the two girls sitting to my left. My girl has to get up on the stage to dance. So I ask them what the bar fine is. They don’t know either. So they motion another girl over to us. She doesn’t even know but she goes to the other end of the stage to find someone who does. She comes back. For a while she sits next to me as one of the girls I had been talking with has to take her turn on the stage. “1100 baht,” she tells me.

I’m making it clear to all the girls around me that my girl and I are good friends, and that we have known each other for a long time. But I never mention Soi Six to any of them. That’s up to the girl and if she wants to keep that a secret, I will honor her wanting to be quiet about her past employment down on Soi Six.

“Hym. 1100 baht bar fine? Those greedy bastard bar owners.”

I’ll be making her a deal for 1000 baht.  Just not sure when.  One thing’s almost for sure.  She’s not going to be playing a lot of those stupid Walking Street Go Go bar girl games most of them play. I stay here far too long.

It’s gettin kind of late and I need to be back a collectin that girl with the hypnotic eyes.  In the meantime for all of you readin these pearls of wisdom, there really is a Soi Six Go Go Bar connection.  I distinctly remember the go go dancer from Heaven Above working down on Soi Six later on where the price no doubt went immediately down from 2000 baht short time to 1000 baht or even lower.

Then there were the two pretty girls Billy Bob and I met in a Soi Six bar who had been working the Walking Street go go bars but were unable to make much money there.

And I’ll never forget one of my old time favorites who had tried working at Baccarat, but  gone back to her old Soi Six bar after not making enough money at Baccharat.

 To top it off, there was that really tall girl from Crazy House I had once paid too much for,

and then I wound up buying her a drink at that Soi Six Go Go Bar a few weeks later.   I thought she was pretty hot, but I never bar fined her again even if her price no doubt went way down.  That other girl with the golden pussy from another Soi Six Bar was simply too much competition.   My point is these were all the same girls. The only things that had changed was the price and the packaging.

DA DA music drives me out of Walking Street Go Go’s

Last night nerve jarring DA DA music in the Go Go Bars drove me out of Walking Street totally disgusted.

I like tits a lot more than DA DA Music
I want a girl for only one thing tonight

I am disgusted with the go go bar owners who are obviously incredibly stupid.  And disgusted with the go go girls for putting up with such shit. And I am even more disgusted with all the go-go customers for not leaving  as I had just done.

Let me be clear just how bad Da Da music is.  Da Da is the most primitive kind of music ever.  It comprises just two notes, with one being higher or lower pitched than the other.   DA DA music has just two basic sounds, one delivered after the other at varying speeds.

Example….Da followed with a DA! Then Da Da (softer pronunciation of the vowel a) followed with DA (a harsher or harder A sound). The Da’s might begin at a slow rate of speed such as Da–Da——-DA———DA, da–da before getting into a more rapid pronunciation of the Da… in da-da-da-da-da. Then DA-DA-DA played in a louder tone.

I used to think that DA DA music had become popular with  younger generations of Americans

and that this was evidence of bad taste at a bestial level. I had been out of touch for so long with my fellow Americans after living in Thailand for the past ten years.

But during my last trip to the United States, I had rented a car for two weeks, and after traveling through Illinois, Missouri, Colorado, Utah, and Arizona, I can’t remember ever having to listen to Da Da even once.

So where had Da Da come from? At least most Americans still had the common sense not to listen to  crap. But it’s doing alive and well in Thailand.   Especially in the Walking Street go go bars which have become so horribly managed that I cannot count a single expat who actually likes the damn place. But I’m Uncle Bufford, and I’ve got some work to do doing these Walking Street go go bar reviews even if the job is about as pleasant as shoveling shit down on the farm.  So let’s get on with it.

My first stop was the Pattaya Light House Go Go Bar

where I got one vodka with lime for 70 baht.  That’s the happy hour price.  The girls on the stage are all looking through the customers without seeing them.  Because they are too busy viewing themselves in the mirror.  Since there wasn’t much happening here, I went to Super Girls.

Pattaya Super Girls Go Go

She was very beautiful. But I felt I had to arrange her face so no one would recognize it out of respect for the girl’s privacy. And yes…..she did work at Super Girls a long time ago.

My Beer’s 140 baht a bottle.  The good news is there’s nearly twice as many girls here as the last time. I’m thinking some coyote girls have moved here because they cannot sell short times for a 1500 baht bar fine.  And they have suddenly wised up  to how difficult it is to sell 50 ladies drinks in a 10 day shift.  But the Da Da music is terrible.  Three songs in a row is loud Da Da and I probably was not not even counting before.  So even though the girls are promising I can only suffer through all that Da Da noise for just 1 beer.  This ambiance is so disgusting that I tell the waitress I’m leaving on account of the horrible music.

Pattaya SugarBaby Go Go Bar

Beer is 150 baht and for this you get a lot of ugly women to choose from.  Two gals are eating each others pussies on stage.   But I think one’s  a lady boy who has been cut and has had a vagina created where she had once had a dick.  She has a loud masculine voice. “She’s”  fat.  All in all she looks like a shorted version of a professional wrestler.  The music is pretty piss poor for the most part.  Not Da Da so it was barely tolerable.   The key word here is barely.

Pattaya Living Dolls Showcase

They charge a whopping 170 baht here.  I suppose it must be for a stunning toilet although the last time I took a dump here (about 10 years ago) the toilet was just okay. There are several good looking girls here,  but this place is still not top class by any means. The gal in front of me on the stage is pretty cute.  But she’s no raving beauty. She keeps watching herself in the mirror which is standard procedure for these nitwits. Eventually she comes off the stage to sit next to a guy who’s sitting in his wheel chair next to me.

 Pattaya Bacchara Go Go Bar

Upstairs the place is loaded with Japanese.  Bacchara reminds me of the scenes in the “The Deerhunter” where Christopher Walken plays Russian Roulette and eventually shoots his brains out in front of Robert De Niro. I was seated at a table for four in the back which was somewhat distant from the stage. Nevertheless there were a number of gals back there. Although the beer is 160 baht a bottle, I could sit at this table unmolested and take in the view of the entire upper floor.

A gal who appears to be in her mid thirties motions me to pick out a girl dancing on the stage But I motion back to her “Do not want.” A few minutes later she comes up to me.   I tell her I like the Soi Six girls who I got to bang for 800 to 1000 baht.  I’m thinking she’s a waitress and for awhile she sits next to me with another girl.

There’s a guy sitting at our table.  The bar’s thrown me in with him because the place is packed with no chairs near the stage. Later the “waitress” takes her turn at the stage.  She has a pretty attractive body now that she’s taken most of her clothes off. By the time I check bin another girl’s  sitting at the table  but I haven’t spoken to her or the customer.

Pattaya Crazy House Go Go Bar

I’m wanting to avoid this place because I don’t want to get laid tonight and I was afraid someone would come up and seduce me.  I knew from experience some of the girls would be hard to refuse. Sure enough,  a very attractive girl is here and within five minutes she’s sitting next to me.

She is wearing dark framed glasses without lenses.  This is normal because most Thai people don’t read much.

So they don’t need glasses.  Unlike the Japanese and Taiwanese who take school seriously and actually respect people who are intelligent.

God I wanted her.  So I buy her a drink.  Thankfully there isn’t any DA DA Music playing at the Crazy House tonight.  Right away we start kissing and then suddenly she  has to go to the toilet.  It isn’t long before she comes back, but this time she sits on my left side. But she’s not wearing her glasses.

Her eyes keep drawing me in.  Then she starts kissing me again as she starts to stroke my dick which responds quickly to her wonderful touch.

A  funny thing happens next.  A second girl, wearing dark framed glasses, squeezes up to me on my immediate right.  Turns out this is the girl I had wanted  before, the girl with the incredible magnetic eyes.  But I now have two girls stroking me between my legs.  I buy shots of tequila for both of them.

After a few minutes the girl on my left escapes to either the stage or the toilet.  Which leaves me alone with the main object of my desires.  I’m about to buy her still another drink.  But she gets up and disappears.  I assume she went to the toilet, but then I see her across the room talking to a couple of other go-go girls sitting at a small table.

She leaves.  Ten minutes later I decide to leave for more fertile pastures.

 After all, I’m Uncle Bufford, and I’m the real star around this place.

I wait for no woman.  So this one’s going to just have to learn at the feet of the master who’s the main dick in this place.  So I check bin.  The waitress comes to collect my money.  Five minutes later I’m walking out of this Crazy House alone.

The girl is looking across the room at me, surprised I’m leaving and not telling her anything.  Her expression is one of incredulity.  She’s probably thinking I’m angry.  But I’m not.  I’ll come back for her later, on another night, but this next time she will have learned her lesson. This girl’s going to be eating out of my hand. She will be my sex slave.  She will be putty in my hands.

Related Articles I have further comments about this godawful DA DA music in my Naklua Bar Reviews


Drinking Street Kwan performs at Pattaya Best Bar on Soi 8

Watch this very sexy Pattaya  bar girl video.  Drinking Street Kwan delivers in spades at a bar where she’s never been before.  Pattaya Best Bar on Soi 8.

Drinking Street Kwan on the beach
Here’s Drinking Street Kwan at Wongamat Beach with friends. Big John’s just out of the picture. Johannes isn’t in the picture either. He’s the camera man.

When I took these pictures Drinking Street Kwan is living in my condo building.

And she’s been here for a few weeks.  So by now, I’m getting to know Kwan pretty well.  We might be relaxing down on Wongmat Beach.  But one of the Thai women has a birthday.  We must celebrate.  So we hatch out a plan.  And this plan involves my camera.  My trusty Panasonic Lx-7 with its very fast Leica lens.

By now Drinking Street Kwan is getting quite a fan club.  On Drinking Street,

an American approaches me.  It’s my hat that’s the give away.  That’s why I wear it.  People recognize me all over the world because of the Jack Hat.

“Where’s Kwan?” the man asks me.  Then adds:  “You must be Jack Corbett.  The guy who’s written all those books.”

You get the drift where this conversation’s going.  The guy wants to see Kwan in the flesh.  So I tell him, “I’m not sure where she is.”

Drinking Street Kwan must have over 200,000 views of the You Tube videos I’ve shot of her.

So  a lot of men want to meet her. They want to watch her dance.  They want to have sex with her.  And they do, in their dreams.

I know where she is.  She’s living 3 floors above me.  But I’m not about to tell anyone this.  She’s got a boyfriend too.  I’m keeping quiet about that too.


Two weeks later.  I’m on Drinking Street.  As usual I’m having a few beers, and another man approaches me.  He’s Japanese.

Are you Jack Corbett?”  the Japanese asks.

Well we know where this is going.

A few days later.  It happens again, only this time it’s an Englishman who’s wanting to find Pattaya Drinking Street Kwan.

So back to Wongamat Beach and Drinking Street Kwan

Our group starts planning where we are going next.  I mention the Pattaya  Best Bar on Soi 8.  The Best Bar is a beer bar.  But the girls are always dancing on little stages here.  And sometimes on the bar itself.  And unlike a go go bar, I can do video here.

So we all head out to the Pattaya Soi 8 Best Bar.  Johannes and I start buying the 3 Thai women tequilas and beer.  And Drinking Street Kwan really loves her tequila.

After awhile I can read Kwan’s mind.  She wants to show off.  She’s thinking:  “These bar girls here aren’t shit.  I should show them what a real star can do.”

Johannes at Wongamat Beach

When I sense a great video’s about to happen, I really want Johannes to be there.

At the Pattaya Best Bar, Drinking Street Kwan asks me,  “Do you think they will let me dance here?”

Drinking Street Kwan at the Pattaya Best Bar
Our little corner of the world went wild when Drinking Street Kwan got up on the stage of the Pattaya Best bar. A bar she had never been to before. But it wasn’t the stage. Kwan got right up on the bar where she could shake her ass in everyone’s faces

We get the go ahead from one of the girls tending the bar, and then I tell Fon who had been taking English classes with Kwan.  “Now you will really see something.”  I know what

Drinking Street Kwan with Johannes
See what I mean? When it comes to making movies Johannes is better than Brando

Kwan can do and she’s in the mood.  My camera is small, but it’s got a Leica 1.4 lens with image stabilization.  This is one of the finest cameras in the world for shooting in low light and this bar is darker than most cameras can handle.  The music’s da da, or butt awful.

Drinking Street Kwan stands head and shoulders above the crowd
Kwan is deceptively tall. She’s 166 centimeters which makes her taller than the average American woman

But Drinking Street Kwan is sexier than ever.  And my camera does not let me or Kwan down.  But the music’s just not good enough.  I must create a miracle–a soundtrack that is worthy of what we can do together.

  I don’t know if I’ve succeeded or not so I will let you be the judge.

Many thanks to Pattaya Best Bar for allowing Drinking Street Kwan to take over your establishment.


Walking Street Mamasans exploiting customers and girls alike

Walking Street Mamasans will be found in the go go bars dealing with customer bar girl relationships
Pattaya Walking Street at Halloween.

Japanese in Walking Street go gos need to set prices with bar girls to avoid being exploited by Walking Street mamasans .  This goes for men of all nationalities visiting the Walking Street go go bars, and not just all of you Japanese.

The reason I’m focusing upon Japanese men is because most of you tend to be too nice

and too accommodating in this snake pit that most Walking Street Go Go bars have become.  Japanese in general tend to give the other person the benefit of the doubt.  They are generally polite, and as a rule they tend to not haggle over prices that Walking Street Mamasans want to charge them for bar fines, short times,  or long time sex.  Trust me, although many of us will applaud your politeness, the Thais working the go go’s, especially the Walking Street mamasans view your politeness as a sign of either weakness or stupidity.  But I know that the opposite is true and that most Japanese men are neither weak nor are they stupid.  They are in my opinion the absolute cream of the Asian crop.

So please, take my good advice and take the upper hand over these go go rip off artists.

Another image of Walking Street on Halloween
Halloween on Pattaya Walking Street

Let me tell you about last week.

I had not one, but two Walking Street Mamasans in a row try to cheat me.

And keep in mind that I’ve lived in Pattaya for over 11 years now, and know that typical Thai management means charging their customers outrageous prices in order to pocket commissions for completely unjustified services.  This practice especially applies to Thai managers of condos who almost always charge condo owners prices for repairs that are double, triple and sometimes even ten times what they should be.  This is the way most Thai condo managers make their money.

It is understood by Thai condo technicians, engineers, maintenance people and vendors supplying repair items to condo communities throughout Pattaya.  I’ve found that even insurance companies typically give 15 % commissions to condo managers whose concept of management is to rip off their condo owners as much as possible.  So when I finish telling you my story about these two lying conniving Walking Street mamasans, you can be sure that I know exactly what I’m talking about.

Let’s start with go go bar number one.

 Go go bar number one already has a History of beating up complaining customers

so I will leave this go go bar unnamed as I do plan on going back there again.  Two weeks ago, Billy Bob and I asked one of the go go girls what the bar fine-short time policy was.  The way it works is a customer who wishes to take one of the go go girls out of the bar must pay 1.  a 800 baht bar fine and 2. An additional 1600 baht to “rent the girl” for up to two hours.  What this amounts to is he can have short time sex with the girl for up to two hours.  Longer periods of time, typically a whole night sleeping with a go go girl, might cost another 1000 baht or even more.  The key number, is 2400 baht which comes out to about $70.00.

Let’s compare this to the typical coyote go go girl scenario.  The bar fine for coyote girls is almost always 1500 baht, and for that all you get is the privilege of taking the girl out of the bar whether this is for a cup of coffee or a whole night of sex.  What you pay the girl is between you and the girl.  Usually she’s going to ask 2000 baht short time, but

if you are Japanese (remember, these people know that most of you Japanese are too polite to argue) she is likely to charge you even more.

So it’s going to cost you $100 for short time sex.  In addition to this you’ve been paying for high priced drinks for not only your new girlfriend but also for her three sisters, the cocktail waitress who’s her cousin, and mamasan who’s a dear old friend.  If you want to take her out for the entire night, it’s going to cost you 3000 baht or even more plus that 1500 baht bar fine.  That’s more than $125.00 U.S.  However, most Walking Street go go bars hiring coyote girls will discount those 1500 baht bar fines to 1000 baht after 11 p.m. or midnight.

Go go Bars off Walking Street Soi Diamond
Soi Diamond go go bars –Shark Club, Super Girls, etc,just off Pattaya Walking Street

But back to Go Go Bar number one.  I take a seat in front of the stage.

Within the first five minutes several of the girls dancing in front of me are catching my eye.  Before I’m even half done with my first beer, a girl takes a seat next to my bar stool and starts speaking to me.  She’s from Chiang Mai, and her English is pretty good.  Overall she’s very nice, but she’s just a little too plump for my tastes.

I like girls who are very slender.  Girls with practically no belly on them.  I don’t care if they have big tits or not or even if they have tits that aren’t any bigger than mine.  I like girls with nice long slender legs who have a reasonable degree of good muscle tone, and lately I’ve been a real sucker for Thai women who are both tall and slender.

So although the conversation  is going well with this girl, she just doesn’t have what I’m looking for.

After twenty minutes of conversation during which I’ve bought her a drink or two, she politely tells me she has to go back onto the stage to dance.  So I let her go, knowing that before I have another two or three drinks, I will be finding a girl who’s body really trips my trigger.  Within five minutes after the first girl’s departure, a girl walks behind me to join two other girls who are sitting at a small table by the club’s exit door.  But she accidentally swipes my back with her arm as she walks past me.

Accidentally, my ass!   I know how this game goes and I’m onto her.  But this one’s got a cute little body and she’s also pretty in the face.  “She wants me”, I tell myself.   “Well, okay, she wants my money.  I can’t really lie to you all.”

I look over at her and she looks back at me.  Then I wave her over, as I pat the bar stool next to me to emphasize that I plan on buying her a drink.  Within seconds she’s sitting next to me, and let me tell you guys, she’s got a great body.  She has no belly on her whatsoever.  Her legs are as firm as an athlete’s.

But I’ve gotta admit.  I’ve got a great body also, and this babe’s checking me out straight off.

Within minutes she’s got her hands all over my legs.  And she’s feeling my arms to see how muscular they are.  Then her hands glide all over my stomach.   She finds out I’m not a lard ass like most Westerners visiting Pattaya.  And I can tell she loves what she’s feeling.  I buy her a drink.  I don’t even know what I bought her, but by the time she’s only half done with it, I order her a tequila and another beer for myself.

After she has two tequilas, she’s putting her arms around me, and then we are kissing each other on the lips.  This kind of thing normally doesn’t happen in Go Go Bar Number one.  It is not one of those “hands on” kind of go go bars most of my friends prefer.  It’s definitely not a bar for groping the girls.  In fact I can’t ever remember my ever having groped a girl here or even seeing other customers putting their paws all over the girls.  But man,  this place is changing for me in a hurry.  The girl and I are all over each other, and I want this woman now.

I tell her I want to pay her bar fine and take her to a hotel short time room.  But her English is lacking so she calls the mamasan over.  I explain I want to pay bar for short time.

Several minutes later the mamasan hands me a bill on which she’s inked in 3300 baht for the girl.  Jesus Christ.

That Walking Street Mamasan knows better than to try and rip me off so I tell her that the bin is for too much money.  Mamasan tells me, “3300 baht for lady.”

I’m pissed.  I know the bin should only be for 2400 baht so I tell Mamasan that I can have sex down on Soi Six for 1100 or 1300 baht and that this includes the rental of the short time room upstairs for 300 baht.

The mamasan replies:  “Then go back to Soi Six then.”

I hope I have not lost any of you yet.  Especially my Japanese readers.

I am really pissed that this Mamasan is taking me for a stupid tourist who doesn’t know any better.  Notice also that I’m telling Mamasan that she’s wrong and that I’m right.  Now here in Thailand most Thai owned businesses have the attitude that “Customer is always wrong, but business is always right.”  I’m sure that you understand the role that “FACE” is playing here.  That 3300 baht mamasan is demanding is obviously very wrong, but “do you think that mamasan’s ever going to admit it?”  No way.  Instead she tells me to fuck off and go to Soi Six.”  Way to go you stupid CUNT.  (CUNT stands for “Can’t Understand Normal Thinking).

But here’s what’s really going on.

Mamasan plans on pocketing that extra 900 baht she’s demanding.  Do you think she’s trying to help this go go girl?

No way.  I’ve got this girl’s measure and she really wants to go with me.  Although it’s true that oftentimes go go girls will conspire to extort exorbitant prices from customers, this girl isn’t.  She’s just not the type.  This is all the evil work of this Walking Street Mamasan.   I give the girl a little kiss on the lips and I tell her I really like her.  Then I point to Mamasan and tell the girl Ba Ba.  Which means that Mamasan is completely crazy.  But I tell her that softly so that Mamasan cannot overhear me.  I then tell Mamasan that 3300 baht is too much and that i no longer wish to bar fine the girl.  I pay what I owe for drinks, and walk out.

The next stop is Go Go Bar Number two which I’m not about to name in order to protect the guilty.  You will soon find out that the Walking Street mamasan in this go go is just as guilty of CUNT status as the mamasan was in go go bar number 1.

Peppermint Go Go bar girls
Peppermint Go Go Bar girls. Peppermint is part of a group of around 8 go go bars owned by the same company. These bars typically hire many Coyote girls

The coyote dancer I had sat with before saw me come in and made a beeline right for me.  Which was okay with me because she was nice.

The waitress was not working tonight.  To avoid having the girls doubling up on me and raid my wallet for drinks I insisted on sitting in front of the stage instead of one of the booths where the girls could all get into my pants.  This put me one on one with the coyote girl.  I asked her how she had come out on her 10 day shift.

“You work 10 days and must sell 50 drinks.  How many did you sell?”

She laughed and replied:  “I not do very well.  I sell only 20.”

My brain started to calculate the numbers.  Let’s see–at 10 days a shift she can work 3 shifts a month maximum.  So if the average ladies drink costs the customers 150 baht, this last shift she would have made 3000 baht which is 20 times 150 baht.  So, if she works 3 complete shifts in one month (which is unlikely because that means she doesn’t take a break), she will have earned 9000 baht.  Now, she might have had customers buy her out of the bar, but she’s probably asking 2000 baht short time, and since her bar fine is 1500 baht, she’s not going to get many men bar fining her.

This coyote business is killing her.

Of course she could be lying to me just so that I will feel sorry for her and give her money by 1. Buying her even more drinks than I normally would or 2. Bar fining her.

She’s cute, but she’s not a superstar.  She’s good company though so I stick around longer than I probably should.  We have a few drinks together.  Enough to make us both lose our inhibitions.  Right in front of the stage we do a lot of feely stuff.  She’s stroking my legs and once in awhile my cock.  And I’m laying my hands all over her body.  In fact, I can’t even remember what kinds of things we did, except it was a bit too much right out in the open.  By this time, I’m wanting sex pretty bad.   That very trim go go girl from Go go number one had gotten my number.  And now after so many drinks, this very nice girl from Go Go Bar number 2 was applying the finishing touches.

Mamasan was  a constant presence, hovering about near the stage, keeping her eye on us.

I kept eyeballing my watch.  It was 12 midnight.  Time to make a move one way or the other.  Soi Six would soon be a lost cause.  The bars would all close there by 1 a.m.  It would take me 15 minutes to pay my bin, walk to the end of Walking Street, find a baht taxi and get to Soi Six.  I was looking at 12:15, and I usually stay in the short time rooms for forty minutes to one hour.  Oftentimes even more.  I could also go to Crazy House Go Go.  No doubt I’d find the girl there I had bar fined before.  The one with the sensational eyes.  But I had really been hoping for someone new and Go Go Bar Number One had been a huge disappointment.

I don’t remember exactly how I said it.  I didn’t tell the girl I was with I was going to bar fine her although I vaguely remember telling her how much I’d like to fuck her.  That’s the way it came out of my mouth.  But I was talking more to the mamasan than the coyote girl.  It went something like this:

“I love this girl and like to boom boom her but I think the bar fine is just too much.”

On that note the mamasan told me I’d have to pay 3300 baht to have sex with the girl.  That included a 1500 bar fine.

But it was already 12 midnight.  By this time the girl’s bar fine should have been brought down to 1000 baht.  That meant mamasan was probably planning on pocketing 500 baht.

I was sure of it.  I had dealt with this particular mamasan too many times before.   War, who had been the waitress, really liked me, and I had short timed her a few times.  The first time I had taken War to the short time room, she had all the time in the world.  War had kept showing me pictures in the room.  And she had invited me to spend the day with her during Songkran.  There would have been no bar fine then.

But later on it seemed that Mamasan had clamped down on War so our short time affairs had gotten to be more hurried.  I knew it wasn’t War’s fault.  Then there was that night last year, when Billy Bob and I had sat back in one of the couches by one of the back stages where two girls sat with us.  One was the shapely coyote girl who had blown me on a couch at another stage and I had an orgasm in her mouth. But that night Mamasan had kept hanging around our little stage trying to get drinks out of me.  When I finally politely refused to buy her one she told the coyote girl that she could no longer suck my dick or even feel it.  That’s when Billy Bob and I paid our bins and left in a hurry.

I really would have bar fined this girl if the bar fine was 1000 baht and she had been willing to go with me for 1500 baht.

I was sure she’d go for 1500.  And quite possibly she would have gone for 1000 baht.  That’s what I used to pay all the Super Girls go go dancers a few years ago.  I think I could still do it, but I never have the time to play the game just right.

Once again I would up telling a girl how nice she was and how much I wanted to bar fine her, but mamasan was a very bad lady and because of the greedy mamasan I simply would not pay mamasan’s extortionate prices.

12 o’clock.  I had to go.  So I paid my bar bill and headed straight over to Crazy House.

The girl was there.  Because as when I came in the door I didn’t get more than twenty feet  when she was suddenly standing next to me staring up at me with those gorgeous eyes.  Ten minutes later we were leaving the place together,and five minutes after that we were in the short time room.  As before, her bar fine was 800 baht.  We never even had one drink together.  And this Walking Street Mamasan simply collected my 800 baht and saw us off with a smile.  I’d pay the girl later in the room.

She was every bit as terrific as she had been before.  Her long hair kept cascading around my face as I kept finding myself looking deeply into her eyes.  Kissing her was sensational.  I felt very comfortable, as if I was a fetus warm and snug in the womb.  This girl was great in bed, and not in a hurry at all.  She was also a lot of fun to be around in the club.

But back to all of you Japanese.  The lessons to be learned here are:

“Every single girl I bought drinks for tonight were really nice even though I saw a lot of other go go dancers around me who were obviously real snakes in the grass.  But the Walking Street Mamasans at go go bar number one and two were both greedy bitches who were only out for themselves so that they could line their own pockets.  I wouldn’t doubt that both go go girls I had been with at Go Go number one and two never got bar fined tonight.

I might not bar fine anyone out of go go bar number 2 simply because all of the girls are coyotes I think.  With the exception of the cocktail waitresses that is.  But go go bar number one is a different story.  There are few if any coyotes in that place.  I had misunderstood my good friend who had told me it was a take it or leave it proposition there.  Meaning a man wasn’t taking any girl out of there until he had paid the asking price of 800 baht plus the 1600 baht rental for the girl.

My friend later told me that this rental bullcrap had been designed expressly for you Japanese.  First, because you are all too willing to pay too much for sex and secondly because so many of you can’t speak either good English or Thai.  So this arrangement makes it easy for all concerned.

But what we all need to do is to simply avoid such Walking Street Mamasans when it comes to doing anything with the girls whatsoever.

So what I’m doing from now on, is I’ll be telling such Walking Street Mamasans that I’m only taking a girl out of the bar for a two hour coffee.  I’m even going to tell them I don’t even have a dick so there will be no talk about sex or the price of sex whatsoever.  But before I get around to paying that 800 baht bar fine over at Go Go Bar number one, I will already have a clear understanding with the girl on the price we have both agreed upon.

 So here’s my thinking, especially with any of you Japanese customers who can’t speak very good English or Thai.

Let’s all bring pen and paper into these go go bars.   When that magic moment arrives where we discuss price with the go go girl of our choice we simply write two numbers down.  The first number will be the bar fine.  For example 800 baht.  The second will be the  tip we will be giving the girl.   I will be writing either 1500 baht on that paper or 1000 as the tip I am willing to pay.  Then I will point at this number and the girl, nod my head and smile.  No English or Thai will be necessary.  I will then put the slip of paper back into my pocket.  As for the Walking Street Mamasan…all she’s going to ever see is my bar fine because the rest is just between me and the girl.

Video of a Pattaya Tragedy–Edie’s birthday at the Malai Bar

The date is 2006, and it’s Edie’s birthday party at the Naklua Malai Bar.  Edie, will become a Pattaya tragedy.  But only a few years ago, Edie had the best band in Naklua.

Edie will become a Pattaya tragedy
At her birthday back in 2006 Edie pulled out all the stops. Love her or hate her (most of us loved her) Edie was unforgettable. I hardly remember a single expat living in Naklua who didn’t hang out at the Malai Bar at one time or the other.

And unlike most beer bars today, Eddie had some really cute girls working for her.

Let me take you back in time–to the good ole days

It’s Eddie’s birthday, and  she’s gone balls out to bring in a few pretty girls from Sattahip decked out in special uniforms.   These girls are not Edie’s bar girls.  But  Edie’s birthday party, as sensational as it was,  would be the harbinger of  a Pattaya tragedy.

Cope during a photo shoot at my Naklua condo
Cope during a photo shoot at my Naklua condo. She was about twenty back then. She would later mature to be even more beautiful with a far better command of English than she had in the old Malai Bar days.

Cope, one of the prettiest girls dancing is now living in Germany after marrying a German.  Which is probably good for her, but bad for the rest of us.  She was very pretty, and even prettier the last time I saw her.

There’s a beautiful lady in the video dancing next to Cope.  You wouldn’t believe she’s a lady boy though.  Like Cope, we haven’t seen her in Pattaya for years.

Today (it’s August 2017) , the band is nowhere to be found.  The Malai Bar is barely open.  It sits there devoid of customers while its owners wait in Bangkok for a buyer.  A single woman looks after the place as caretaker.  But I can still buy a drink there, and sometimes I go over to talk with her.

But back to the Golden Years of Malai Bar

Edie being a very special kind of bar owner always paid her band a lot of money.  She also had A LOT more customers than any other bar around.  If all this sounds like a Pattaya tragedy, it gets much worse.

My tilac, the tilac in this video, is no longer in my life.  She was Edie’s niece, and it was because of her that I used to come to the Malai Bar quite often.  So did most of my friends.

Edie was a very special kind of bar owner, the likes of whom we will probably never see again.  But in spite of her brilliance at running a bar,  she somehow lost a lot of money and had to sell the bar.

The Malai Bar would never be the same again.  Not even close.  But the real Pattaya tragedy here is there is not single bar in Naklua, Thailand since the Girl Beer Bar that is even 10 percent of what the Malai Bar once was.  The Malai Bar no longer has any customers except for an occasional man or woman who wants to have a drink with the bar’s solitary caretaker.   It sits there next to the Pen Bar, vacant, in mute testimony to all the great times we all used to have there.  When any man or woman who wanted to put on a show could come up and sing or dance in front of the crowd.

Which you will see in this video.  There’s a beautiful incredibly sexy Thai woman dancing as Edie’s band plays “Suzie Q”.  Then there’s a muscular handsome German playing the guitar as he sings, “Welcome to the Free World.”  The video ends with Edie getting practically everyone, her bar girls and customers, dancing.

But the final Pattaya tragedy is Edie was murdered

several years ago while driving her car back to Sattahip from a Soi 7 or 8 she had been managing.    This video’s for her.


Picking the most unforgettable Thai girl of the night

The most unforgettable Thai girl  from either Walking Street or Soi Six would be my Holy Grail tonight.

buffordnakluaI was in a rotten mood. I’ve just been working too hard, and I had just seen the Bangkok Post main headline that read “Thailand would be distancing itself from Western countries while seeking much closer ties to Russian and China. Such stupidity was beyond belief. The country had gotten completely hopeless. Even worse, was the lot of my fellow Americans who actually believe men like Ted Cruze or a DeRubio were worthy of being head of anything, let alone winning the presidency.

And like an uncontrollable cancer, the Chinese were everywhere

in Pattaya, with their tour buses clogging up the streets like an incurable case of hardening of the arteries. I set out to get drunk. But while I was at it, I’d review a few Walking Street go-go bars.  With luck, I just might meet a truly unforgettable Thai girl tonight.

Unforgettable Thai girlI hadn’t been in a Walking Street go-go bar for at least three months.

Not since bar fining the tall girl from Crazy House only to find her three weeks later working at the new Soi Six go-go bar where I could have banged her for half the Walking Street price. Good looking as she was, she just didn’t measure up to the best Soi Six girls. So I never banged her again. But I also had not seen my unladyboy favorite for nearly two weeks and had figured she had gone long time with a customer. She’d be a difficult one to equal, anywhere, at any time no matter what the price I might be willing to pay. I’d meet Billy Bob on Walking Street at 8:30 but tonight I had a little time to kill so I went to Soi Six around 7.

I really didn’t have enough time to be banging someone from Soi Six.

That would take me around an hour in a short time room. So I made a point of choosing a place that I normally didn’t frequent. Seeing four or five decent looking babes outside the go-go bar looking for customers, I decided to go in for a beer. Even if the price was too damn high. Deliberately avoiding eye contact with any of the girls standing in front of the go-go, I made a beeline straight for the bar inside. Without even as much as a glance at the bar girls inside the club, I immediately snapped up a bar stool and ordered a beer from the waitress, while hoping that none of the girls who had been looking for customers outside the bar had followed me inside.

None of them had. But another girl had appeared out of nowhere. Suddenly she was standing right up next to me.

I had been with her before, but only once.

That was two months ago when I had banged three different girls in rapid succession. She had been number two. It had been the first night I had gone to Dolls, the only go go on Soi Six. The place was charging five hundred baht for the short time room upstairs. Since all the other Soi Six bars were charging just three hundred baht for the rooms, I had decided that paying two hundred baht extra was simply against my morals.

The girl had wanted 1000 baht for short time, so when I explained to her that her bar was the only place that charged 500 baht for a room she agreed to lower her price to 800 baht. So I had taken her upstairs with my pride still intact from not being taken advantage of. She had been nice.

And she still was nice. She was exactly what I needed to restore a semblance of faith in Thailand. She had a nice look in her eyes without that hint of treachery so many girls have. I held her close to me while buying her a drink. She was slender, and a bit on the tall side.  But there was a certain resonance emanating from her body that is difficult to explain. I suppose it can be called a comfort zone of femininity. Or more likely it was the certainty in my own mind that if I took her upstairs that she would stay with me for as long as I wanted her. She’d have no time limit on her clock.

I really wanted to short time her, but my clock was running

and since I had not been drinking with Billy Bob for several months, I simply had to be down on Walking Street on time. And starting up my Uncle Bufford go-go bar reviews again was extremely important to me. I had stapled several small pieces of paper together which I had inserted into my top pocket along with a ball point pen. Then I reached into my bar bin to look at my bill and saw that my beer had cost me 120 baht. I then wrote down the name of the go go bar and the price of the beer and showed the girl what I was doing.

“Honey. I love you too much, but I must go down to Walking Street to meet a friend. I then repeated “friend” to her, this time in Thai so that I was sure she understood. Then I wrote number one down on the slip of paper. Showing this to her, I explained, “You number one tonight. (Yenee in Thai I repeated to her). I go now Walking Street. Me no like Walking Street. Friend I like go go too much.  Maybe I come see you later.

“You see me later?”

“Maybe. Fifty-fifty. “Pom my go hoak.” Which means “I do not lie.”

“I hope so. I wait for you,” the girl replied.

But once again I repeat to her, “Fifty-fifty. Maybe yes. Maybe no. But I think you number one lady tonight. Lady at #1  go go be number two lady. Lady at number three go-go be number three lady but you be most unforgettable Thai girl.  I’m almost sure of this,” I tell her.

And truthfully, I really meant what I had said. She was just the shot in the arm I needed. And she had felt so good on my arm.


I was in the baht taxi only two hundred meters from Walking Street when Billy Bob called me to explain that he could meet me in ten minutes.

“Where shall we meet though? I’m up to just about anywhere you’d like to go to first,” I said.

“Let’s meet at Super Girls.

Since you made a point earlier that you wanted to spend a little quality time there.”


I arrived a few minutes before Billy Bob. The waitress wanted to seat me back somewhere at a table far from the stage, but I didn’t care what she wanted to do. So I took a seat right in the center of the row of bar stools in front of the stage. There were a number of girls behind my bar stool waiting for their turn to dance, and here I could also get the best view of all the girls on the stage. I ordered a beer. Five minutes later, Billy Bob entered the bar.

There must have been around a dozen girls dancing in front of us, if you could really call what they were doing dancing. They were just going through the motions. Each girl had a number, so if a customer wanted to buy a girl a drink he could identify the girl to the waitress or mamasan by her number. Or, he could simply make contact directly with the girl and motion to her that he wanted her to come down off the stage for a drink.

But of the dozen girls on the stage not one of them was up to my requirements.

I noted also that Super Girls was now charging 140 baht for a bottle of beer whereas several months ago the go-go had been charging 130 baht.

It used to be that Super Girls had been charging 120 baht. Unlike some of the other go-go bars there were no early bird or happy hour specials or glasses of draft for fifty baht or so. Beer cost 120 baht a bottle and that was that.

But to Super Girls credit whereas it used to be one of the highest priced places on Walking Street for beers, it had continued the same pricing policy for years. Other go go bars had started up to replace those that had gone out of business, and

most of these go go bars were charging 140 to 150 baht a bottle.

Relatively speaking Super Girls had gotten to be a good deal. For Walking Street that is. Most Soi Six bars were charging just 85 to 95 baht a bottle with the new go-go bar being one of the few exceptions.

I remarked to Billy Bob. “They are now charging 140 baht a beer here. I suppose this place has woken up to the fact that now that it’s having far fewer customers that it must charge more to each customer. Thai logic. Everywhere else in the world if the demand for customers goes down the price must go down also in order to get them to come back. But not here in Thailand, where the thinking is 180 degrees opposite to what Westerners think on almost everything.

By this time a pretty girl had joined Billy Bob. He had known her from Crazy House. Three months ago, she had been the only girl to join our little group. She was also just about the best looking girl in the go-go bar. She still was.

“It looks like I will have to buy a girl a drink just so that I can ask her what she charges for short time and what the bar fine is,” I told Billy Bob.

“Well here,

they charge you 800 baht to rent the girl and you can rent her for two hours. But there’s also 1500 baht you must pay.

But they really don’t call it a bar fine.”

“So it costs a total of 2300 baht to bang the girl,” I replied.

“Yes. That’s it. I don’t like it because Super Girls limits you to just 2 hours with the girl. There’s an additional charge if you want to take the girl long time.”

“I don’t like it either. Because I can probably if I try hard enough, get the price lower than that. And I don’t like a bar trying to force me to pay whatever price it decides I must pay. That should be between me and the girl.”

“Yes. Exactly.”

I used to pay Super Girls a 600 baht bar fine, and I got six different girls to go with me back to my condo for 1000 baht.

“I’ll bet the Japanese customers were paying double what I had been paying. But what the hell. They don’t know what they are doing, and I do.”

Suddenly the bar called all the girls who had been sitting behind us  up to the stage along with several girls who had been sitting with customers.  Then they dimmed the lights.  Moments later they   turned the lights up again.  After several minutes all the girls stepped off the stage and started circling the room so that all the customers could get a good look at all the girls in the place. None of them as much as looked at Billy Bob or me.

Then the new shift took over.

The girls were much prettier in this shift

. I nearly called one of them down to have a drink with me. But I never got eye contact with her. But the prettiest girl of them all had her face pointed ninety degrees away from me. So I couldn’t get a good look at her face. But her body looked almost exactly like my unladyboy girlfriend’s down on Soi Six. For a moment I thought it was really her.

“See that girl up there in the back row in black, Billy Bob. She looks just like my friend down on Soi Six. She’s got the same shape, but I think she’s a little shorter. She’s the best one out there.”

“That’s my friend, Noi,” Billy Bob replied.  “She was just sitting with us.”

“No shit. I couldn’t tell because she’s got her face turned off to the side. You should bang her, Billy Bob.  If you haven’t already.”

A few minutes later, Noi was down off the stage with Billy Bob. Suddenly she looked over at me and started gesturing towards the girls on the stage. “You want lady?” she asked me.

“No thanks,” I replied. You are the prettiest girl in the bar. So I don’t want any of those girls up there.  You are the only one who ever could be the most unforgettable Thai girl of the night.

Truth is, I didn’t feel like any of those girls deserved a chance with me.

Or a drink for that matter. There were seven girls sitting behind us, all without customers. And all of them were too lazy to even give us a glance.

The girls up on the stage were no better. I started scribbling notes onto the slip of paper I had in my shirt pocket. But now that I think about it, the girls really didn’t have much choice in the matter.

In general Thai girls are pretty friendly.

But at Super Girls, I knew that the girls were trained to cater to Japanese and Korean customers

who did not like aggressive women. So they would typically avoid eye contact or making any efforts to come onto the customers, unlike a lot of the girls in so many other go-go bars. I could easily get a lot of the girls to come out of their little shells but tonight I just didn’t feel like making the effort.

The place was getting to be pretty boring so it didn’t take much to get Billy Bob to agree to leaving–at once.

“Where to next?” Billy Bob asked me.

“I don’t know. You are the man who likes go go bars so much so I’ll go wherever you suggest.”

“We could go to the Lighthouse.”

The girls there are the best looking, but it’s not hands on. Crazy House is hands on.”

“I’ve never done anything with any of the Light House girls,” I replied, other than one time that I remember a very hot number sitting with me and trying to fleece me out of a lot of drinks. But Crazy House…I’ve bar fined a couple from there before, and usually have a pretty good time.”

So, Crazy House it was.

A waitress seated us.  Ten minutes later I noticed an attractive girl’s eyes boring down on me from the stage. They were hungry eyes. Hungry for my money.  And those hungry eyes were relentless. Only if I looked away from her did I notice their absence.

“I know how this one is going to go,” I told myself. “I’ve been targeted.

Every time I glanced back in her direction, I saw those eyes just drinking me in. Every time a new song was played the girls would shift positions. While the girl at the far end of the stage came off the stage she was replaced by the girl to her immediate right.

In short order the girl with the hungry eyes was dancing directly in front of me. It was nearly impossible to look away from her now. There was no way out of this one. Within ten minutes it would be her turn to walk down off the stage and then she’d be right over at my table asking me if she could sit with me. But she was good looking and I had to face up to the fact that she couldn’t take her eyes off me. And who could blame her?  I was after all, Uncle Bufford.

And by this time I had enough to drink to have really gotten full of myself.

So I faced up to the inevitable and motioned  her to come right off the stage to have a drink with me. After all, why wait? If you gotta do something, just do it and don’t waste any time.

Obviously, this girl didn’t have many inhibitions, but I decided not to take any chances. So I strongly suggested to her, “You want tequila don’t you?”

For a moment she seemed plunged in thought, most likely thinking of some sort of weak lady drink she could order instead. So I decided to press my advantage. “You really like Tequila don’t you. I buy you Tequila, okay.”

It worked. She was probably a coyote girl with a 10 day shift 

and a fifty lady’s drink quota to fill. I figured that I had her where I wanted her instead of the other way around. It would turn out that I’d be right. This time I’d be in control, not her.

Her eyes kept sucking me in. And not one to argue, I looked right back into them, and then I lowered my head and kissed her right on the lips. She responded avidly and I pressed onward. “This was no time to be shy. I’m going full bore. And I’m not about to let up.”

I kissed her on the corners of her mouth. Then I gently kissed her ear with my tongue. The nipple on her left breast came next. Then it was time for another tequila only this time I had one with her.

It didn’t matter what we were doing or how often we were doing it.

Her eyes–her eyes simply did not let up.

They kept telling me, “Don’t stop now. Don’t’ let up. Give me the best that you’ve got.” That’s when I decided to give her my wallet.

“What’s your barfine?” I ask her.

“800 baht.”

So, she’s not a coyote. It’s not even ten o’clock yet so if she’s a coyote her bar fine is likely to be 1500 baht. The least it could be would be 1000 baht. She’s a house dancer then. I had met several house dancers at Crazy House before and all of them had 800 baht bar fines. Twice I had barfined coyote girls but since I had taken them for short time out of the bar after 11, the bar fine had dropped to 1000 baht, which is far too much. I was on roll tonight and decided to go for it.

“Tell you what, I’ll give you 1500 baht for short time. I give bar 800 baht bar fine. You get from me neune pan ha roy baht.”

To this she immediately agreed.

Then she told me. “You no tell anyone you pay to me 1500 baht. Okay?”

It was the face thing. Truth is most of the girls down in the Walking Street go go bars are not getting bar fined. For them 1500 baht in the pocket for one hour in a short time room is an incredibly good deal. But take it from me, for most Thais money is really not number one. Face is number one, So a girl working in a go go bar must never admit to the other girls that she’s actually boom booming for 1500 baht, or even worse 1000 baht. And now that I look back on it, I think I could have gotten this girl to go with me for 1000 baht.

Right across the street’s the short time rooms. It now costs 400 baht to rent a room for short time. As I paid out 400 baht the girl asked me, “Do you have a condom?”

“Of course not. Just ask the cashier for a condom. She will give us one.” (But most likely charge us fifty or a hundred baht). At this point I didn’t care. Obviously though, the fact that I already knew I could easily get a condom from one of the employees and the girl apparently didn’t, meant that she was just as she claimed she was, new to the Walking Street go go bars.

We were in the short time room for well over one hour.

I took my own sweet time in coming. And when I finished I still remained deep inside her. And then I fucked her again. I’m sure she would have stayed in that room with me two hours if I had asked her to.

I took her back to the Crazy House where I bought her one or  two more drinks while relaxing with a beer or two .

As deserving as she was the slender Soi Six girl would not get my most “unforgettable  bar girl” of the night award.

But I still had several hours of time on my hands. It was time to move on and try to continue the excitement somewhere else. I could still get down to Soi Six and manage another hour there before its bars would close. Instead I decided to go to Mistys Go Go  to look for War, the waitress I liked who I had not seen for a year.

My friends had told me War was no longer working at Mistys but I’ve often found that a girl will leave the bar for a few months, and then she will suddenly return to the bar she had started at.

War had always appeared a little frumpy in the unsexy waitress’s outfit

she had been forced to wear while working for the go-go. She had even appeared to be short–about five foot two or so. Until the first time I short timed her and I saw her undressing in the short time room. She was tall for a Thai woman, around five foot five and her body was as nearly as perfect as it gets.

War had always liked me also and once had asked me to go out with her during Songkran when there would be no bar fine to pay. But she wasn’t there tonight so I took a seat in front of the stage next to a girl who was sitting there just relaxing watching the other girls dance. I soon learned that War had stopped working at the bar and that she was not coming back.

Higher than a kite from the terrific time I had just had in the Walking Street short time room, I was ready for about anything. But this did not include getting fleeced at Misty’s.

I had once spent 5000 baht at one of the booths in the back of the room while two coyote girls blew me

But after that, the club had my number, especially the mamasan. The name of the game had become getting me into one of the back booths with preferably more than one girl. It had happened to me several times with at least one girl pulling my dick out of my shorts. The girl would then invite other girls to feel my “big dick”. Sometimes as many as four or five girls would be getting a cheap feel off me.

One time the girl on my left had been chewing gum. The girl on my right, who I infinitely preferred, was giving me a great blow job,

but the other girl kept wanting to get equal time on my penis. The equal time stopped when the second girl suddenly started choking on a wad of chewing gum that had gotten stuck in her mouth. What happened was the girl on my left had gotten chewing gum all over my pubic hair matting it in a sticky mass.  The chewing gum had then gotten stuck in the second girl’s mouth while she was sucking my dick.

What to do? Luckily I had my Swiss Army knife in my pocket.

Pulling it out I whipped out the smaller of the two cutting blades and started to cut my pubic hair and all the chewing gum that had gotten stuck to it off. Since the blade was razor sharp, the Swiss Army knife had made swift work out of what would have otherwise been an impossible task. “Let the blow jobs continue,” I told the girl on my right. War had seen this, and so had the mamasan, and several other girls. I’m sure that I developed an unequaled reputation at Misty’s that night.

The go go dancer on my right had finished me off.  She had a great body.  She was fun.  But she was also a coyote. That meant her barfine would be 1500 baht unless I barfined her very late at night when it would be 1000.  So she was out of the question.   But War’s barfine was just 800 baht. She was only the waitress after all.

So I started implementing my new policy–the policy of War.

First off I made it my cardinal rule to never go back to the booths to the rear of the room where the coyotes could gang me. I’d ask as soon as I came into Misty’s, “Is War working tonight?” If she was, I’d stay. And if she wasn’t, I’d immediately leave and go to another go-go bar.

When War was working, I’d immediately seek her out and tell her I was buying her a drink. But I made is clear that I was buying drinks for her and no one else. I’d also take a seat at the stage where the coyote girls couldn’t ravish my wallet in a booth. Once in awhile a girl I had met before would ask me to buy her a drink, and I’d politely refuse, “having eyes only for War” I’d tell anyone trying to leech a drink off me. As for War, she was utterly shameless. She’d get right down on her knees in the middle of the room and start playing with my dick in front of everyone.

It didn’t take very long after the infamous chewing gum incident that I started bar fining War.

But that all happened over a year ago, and she hadn’t been back. So I just settled in at the stage sitting next to the girl who had been sitting there alone. After buying us both a drink, I made my first mistake. When the girl asked me if I wanted to accompany her to a booth well to the rear of the stage, I accepted. There was a group of Englishmen sitting to my left at the same booth. The booth had a dancer’s pole in the center of a table facing it. There were two go go girls with the Englishmen who were fondling their asses as they performed on top of the table.

I started really noticing the little waitress who kept bringing my new bar girl friend and I our drinks.

In the face she reminded me of Skie, who I had met in the Saint Louis Metro East when she was twenty dancing at the Platinum Club.   A pretty blonde, Skie had been one of the prettiest strippers at the Platinum Club in Brooklyn, Illinois.  But my waitress here at Misty’s was Thai whereas Skie was Caucasian whose ancestors had emigrated to the U.S. from Russia. But their attitudes were very similar.

The waitress was spending as much time around me as she could. Like Skie, she was personality plus. And cute. I had to go to the toilet, which meant I had to go upstairs. When I finally came back to the booth I had to wait for a moment or two for my new girl to get up to allow me to come over to the other side of her. This meant my having to stand next to the booth.

Immediately I felt a woman’s arms around me, then I felt her hands stroking my cock.

Such things often happened at Misty’s. To me in any case, because it always seemed that at least one woman or another was always feeling my dick.

The girl was right behind me where I couldn’t see her unless I turned around, and since she was holding onto me pretty tightly, turning around in that confined area was not all that easy. Reaching behind me, I grabbed the woman around her waist, trying to get her measure. I expected to find a large heavy set Thai woman in my grasp. I could feel her although I couldn’t see her. That’s the way these fat ones work, I told myself. They come up behind a man unseen. Then they start to give him a massage or start feeling his dick. Either way his defenses start melting away which even gives the fat girls a bit of a chance. As my hands moved up and down the woman’s body, I hoped that the girl was my waitress.

It was.

And from then on, it seemed that about every time she got up anywhere close to me, she’d be feeling my dick.

By now I was starting to lose a lot of control. First, the waitress asked me to buy her a drink. Then the girl who was sitting with me asked me for another glass of whatever weak drink she was having. She was coyote, and that meant she’d be trying to get as many drinks out of me as possible. But she was starting to feel my dick also.

“It must be that mamasan telling these wimmen what I was all about,” I concluded. It was the same mamasan who had worked there before and she knew that my real brain was not between my ears. But things were starting to go a little too fast for me. I knew that from then on it would be my buying one drink after the other. I was having a super time but it was time to leave.

But there will be a next time and it’s not all that far off.

My game plan’s to go straight for the little waitress. If she’s there the next time I come into the club, I’m going to make a beeline right for her. I’ll buy her a drink and have her seat me on the stage. And then, as soon as the first opportunity arises, I’m barfining her.  Give you fifty-fifty that she’s the most unforgettable bar girl next week who I’m  going to be meetin.

Bang ladyboy or not. That is number one Soi Six Question

I didn’t know if I wanted to bang ladyboy  or not.  I love having sex on Soi Six, but tonight.

Should I bang ladyboy or not?
Should I bang ladyboy or not?

Meeting the Soi Six ladyboy was unplanned.

I had two favorite girls at Goodfellows on Pattaya Soi Six.  Neither were there.  I might have gone straight to Walking Street to meet my friends, and hopefully one of the sexiest Pattaya bar girls I had seen all year.  I had promised my friends I’d meet them at 9 on Walking Street.  As for the girl, I had met her last week at the Crazy House go go bar.  She was a tall twenty-four year old.  172 centimeters tall without heels. That’s five foot eight which is VERY TALL for a Thai woman.

God knows, I had enough Tequila that night and I had bought enough Tequilas for her to nearly denude my wallet. She had spotted me from the stage, and when my eyes had met hers, I knew I was dead meat. She’d be over to my table as soon as she was let off the stage. I dimly remember that her body was close to being perfect, which is unusual for tall girls. And she had snuggled next to me for more than two hours, as we kissed each other, and drank our drinks, But that was last week. I figured only fifty fifty odds she’d be there tonight.

When the girls at Goodfellows told me my two favorites weren’t there,

I did an immediate about face and started down Soi Six towards Beach Road.

But I got only two bars down when I saw a pretty girl with a willowy body standing just outside her bar. The good thing was, I had never encountered the girl before, which means she was a clean slate that I knew nothing about. She could be my next adventure. But also a complete write. It could go either way. With just one hour before I had to meet my friends at Crazy House, there was no time to waste. It took all of two seconds for the words, “Want me to buy you drink?” came out of my mouth.

Ladyboy with silicon enhanced breasts
Would you do her, not not? Big Tom and I did a topless photo shoot of the ladyboy a few years ago. If you are honest with yourselves you would probably say, “Yes”

Two minutes later, she was fetching our drinks after she asked me for a vodka tonic, which is something a man would order and not likely to be a favorite of the ladies. Since the last time I had been in this bar, I had been drinking with a ladyboy, so the omens were not good. By the time I had finished half my second beer we were holding hands. That’s when she told me, “I’m a ladyboy.” Strangely enough, that didn’t bother me. I had been with several lady boys before, including that last one at the bar we were in. That lady boy had told me that she had been cut, and an artificial vagina had been installed to replace her severed penis.

Since I had never been with anyone who had a man made vagina

before I had taken her upstairs after having far too many drinks. She had lied. But I did her anyway. I just can’t remember what I did. And that’s good. I”m gettin to be kindof old and that’s the great thing about losing a few memory cells along the way to Alzheimer Land.

This girls hands were small for a ladyboy’s

and there was nothing in her voice giving off the tell tale signs of her being a ladyboy. There was also an indescribable feel about her hands, perhaps it was a certain lack of clamminess, that made me feel a certain comfort zone with her.

I asked her how tall she was, and she replied, “165 centimeters”, which is about five feet four. I then asked, “How many kilos are you?” “43,” she replied, I thought this to be pretty light for a five foot four ladyboy. But by the time my third beer arrived, time had started to run out on me. It was time to either shit or get off the pot. Either I’d have to leave soon if I was to still meet my friends, or I’d need to call them to tell them I wasn’t coming because I had decided to stay on Soi Six instead.

The question was, “Did I really want to bang ladyboy or not?”

2nd nude picture of ladyboy with the silicon breasts
“She” put all the other “girls” from her bar to shame–in looks and personality

Click here for the slideshow of the ladyboy with the enhanced mammary glands.

“How much for short time?” I asked her, figuring that if she was what she said she was, at least she was a good looking ladyboy.

“1000 baht,” she replied.

“I give every girl 800 baht I told her. You go with me, 800 baht?”  I  bang ladyboy for 800 baht also.

“No. I not same same every girl. You want me. You must pay 1000 baht.”

“Okay, so it was 300 baht for the room upstairs and 1000 baht for her.

That’s still just $36.00 now that the exchange rate is going up.”

A few minutes later we were in the room together. It was a small room but at least it had a shower inside, unlike many Soi Six short time rooms where you have to go down the hallway to a communal shower. What really mattered was what I found out as soon as she took her clothes off. She didn’t have a dick. Not only was she a lady through and through, but she was a damn good looking woman at that. Her body was simply glorious. I started to love that body as soon as I saw it, being that it was so exquisitely slender. She had a thin waist and nice slender legs. Small breasts, but they were very nice. At least she wasn’t flatter than a board.

“Why did you tell me you are a ladyboy?” I asked.

“Because I am tall and some guy he said to me, “You ladyboy.”

Some ladyboy. She completely turned me on.

From now on as far as I am concerned,  it’s okay to bang ladyman, so long as I’m not sure, one way or the other.  I don’t know exactly what this girl had.   Was it the fact that if she had really had a dick I still would have had sex with her and enjoyed it?  Or because I knew I much preferred good Soi Six whores to lady boys because I really like women and a good Soi Six whore in my experience can give a better blow job, and perform better sexually than any of the ladyboys I had been with before? Was it a sense of relief that I’d be doing a woman, and that this was more natural to me and much more easy to explain to people? Or was it because the girl actually looked so sexually enticing?

The sex was terrific even if it didn’t last all that long. After all, I had an appointment with my friends and perhaps with the tall go-go girl.  Whatever should happen, next week I’d be asking myself,  whether I really wanted to bang ladyboy or not?  I’m godawful with names so from this point on I’m calling that cute little Soi Six girl, “ladyboy”.  Or should I call her the Unladyboy?

Walking Street

Two of my friendswere waiting for me already at the Crazy House. But I only had a couple minutes between ordering my drink from the waitress and exchanging a few words with my buddies. I spotted my girl right off, towering over all the other girls as she danced on the stage. So I went straight over to her and promised to buy her a drink. After a couple of minutes she was sitting next to me. One drink later, she was on my lap.

As luck would have it, she was a coyote. I had to have her, but I still had my pride and my pride did not include having to pay a 1500 baht or 1000 baht bar fine. After a few minutes my friends would be going to another bar.

Our normal procedure was to normally have just one drink at each bar. That way we’d get to see between four and six go go bars in one night. But I don’t get over to Walking Street all that much.

If I had all the time in the world, I’d simply give the girl my phone number and wait for her to call me.

I’d see her on her day off or after hours, but I’d never lower myself to paying that huge bar fine. But for the past few years I’ve stopped taking girls back home with me to my condo. This way I’d remain free and single without any girlfriends who’d try to move in with me. If I played the game the way I used to, sooner or later many high dollar Walking Street go go girls would come to me on my terms, and since all the clubs hiring Coyotes had gotten inexcusably greedy, I wouldn’t hesitate to avoid paying their horribly high bar fines and wind up giving the greedy go go bar owners absolutely zilch.

I asked Big John, “What should I do with this girl?”

“I’d say you should fuck the shit out of her,” Big John replied.

“But she just told me her bar fine is 1000 baht and she wants 2000 baht short time.”

“I’d do it,” Big John replied. “You have the money and life is just too short.

What are you going to do with your money when you die anyway? Give it to your sisters? Give it to your nephew or nieces? None of them have worked nearly as hard as you and they don’t deserve your money.”

“Okay, then. I’m not going with you guys to the next bar. I’m taking your advice.”

One half hour later I barfined the girl and took her to the short time rooms down the street. It was 400 baht just for the room whereas the short time place in Naklua was only charging 280 baht. Right off, the girl told me she did not have a condom and neither did I. By this time we had both undressed so I put a towel around me and went outside into the hallway where I found one of the cleaning girls. I gave her a little money for a condom and she just happened to have one on her.

When I asked the girl to smoke me, she refused after saying, “Me no like.”

And by then she was already fooling around with her smart phone so I had to tell her to shut it off. I banged her alright, and it was okay. Just barely okay. Then she asked me as we put our clothes back on, “Do you want to go back with me to bar to have another drink?”

I could have said “No.” But what else was I going to do? I could go to another go go bar, but this girl was pretty good looking after all. Or I could go back to Soi Six and have just barely enough time to do another short time before all its bars closed at 1 a.m. But that wouldn ‘t exactly be relaxing.

Thinking about her, she didn’t even have a condom with her, and she didn’t even know enough to ask an employee for a condom. Needless to say she wasn’t exactly what I’d call a hardened professional.

Speaking of which I know one pretty Soi Six girl who’s a real pro.

She’s less than five foot tall and she dies her hair blondish brown. She’s only around 24 and she’s cute as hell, but she does about five tricks a day which at 1000 baht a pop means she pulls in close to $200 a day. And she’s worth it. She will run off from the room to go get some frilly sexy little outfits which she will put on. Or if she thinks you are into kink she will run off to get her little bag full of sex toys. She will lick your asshole and do about anything you want, even if you don’t ask for it. She’s just too good to be true.

But not this one. Come to think of it, I’ve only been around her twice and been in a room with her just once. Do I really expect her to fall in love with me? Yes. Absolutely yes. She will probably wind up falling in love with me. It’s just a matter of time. But not tonight.

So if she doesn’t want to suck just anybody’s dick the first time she meets them, can you really blame her?

She will wind up sucking mine. Why? Because I’m Uncle Bufford and I’m much more patient than the rest of you guys. I also know how to get to a lot of these babes. Not all of them because a lot of them will hate my guts, but I know this one kind of likes me, so it’s only a matter of time before I get to her heart. That is, if I want to spend all that time.

I’m in the mood for some more tequila. And since I’m not holding anything against this girl, I think I’ll just take her up on it. Actually, I kind of respect her for not wanting to suck my dick.  I decide to make it back to Soi Six on another night and have a few more with Miss No Blow Job.

But by now most of you will be asking yourselves whether it’s alright  “To bang ladyboy or not.   The answer is, “Up to you.”  After all, This Is Thailand (TIT).


SexManniac Dont steal You Tube Video content

SexManniac–Don’t steal You Tube Video content by ripping off my 3 year old Skytop video and Kwan Tequila video.

This  is copyright violation.

do not steal my you tube video content
Kwan the real star of Pattaya Drinking Street

By the time Google circulates this I’m sure the thief will have taken my videos off his You Tube channel.  But if not….here’s the content he’s stolen from me.

And here’s the message I inserted below the video he illegally appropriated from me, edited by putting in his own background music while inserting his words of wisdom into the video itself and then put on his you tube channel.

“Great video….Thanks for the compliment Mark.  95 % of the content is mine, not Sex Maniac’s.  Sexmanniac,  It is a very bad idea to rip off the video content of other producers.   This is called copyright violation.   Here’s the first video of mine that you appropriated for your own, then added your own music and messages of advice into the video….   note 25 seconds into this video.  1;25 in your copy of my video.

The 2nd video, My Skytop video, three years up on You Tube on my channel.  Check out in my video at 6 minutes 15 seconds  and yours 2 minutes 45 seconds.  The pretty girl on the right is the niece of the Skytop Guesthouse owner’s widow.  Probably 16, and perhaps just 15 when I  shot this video in 2012.  I never saw her go with a customer and I can’t recall ever seeing her as much as talking to customers because she was not a bar girl at all.  She or her mother could take you to court for defamation of character.  When you put such videos up  and insert your advice about prostitutes and sponsors into these videos, you are opening yourself up to lawsuits or even worse.”


Pattaya Drinking Street bar girls and the Yamaha SR 400

Pattaya Drinking Street bar girls riding Yamaha SR400
No doubt the Yamaha SR400 is one of the most beautiful motorcycles on can buy in Thailand. It isn’t fast and it sure isn’t cheap at 265,000 baht. But it’s a real attention getter, just like Kwan

Out of all the Pattaya Drinking Street bar girls, we can’t think of anyone more striking and charismatic than Kwan.  So it’s only appropriate that Kwan should pose with my Yamaha SR 400, which could be the most beautiful motorcycle you can buy in Thailand.  Along with the still shots of Kwan posing with my Yamaha 400 SR are several video clips of Drinking  Street sensation Kwan in action, literally on top of the bar showing her stuff.

To access my reviews of motorbikes suitable for Thailand click here