Big Jim, Dick Fitwell’s most promising disciple in Pattaya Pattaya Pattaya Confessions of Sin City contends all bar girls want to be Thai bar girl rats forever. Which is one of the pivotal issues raised in my latest book.

But like his mentor Dick Fitswell, Big Jim’s only meaningful purpose in life is to satisfy the relentless throbbing of his unquenchable penis.

While Fast Eddy, is almost the polar opposite of Big Jim. Who is almost as jaded as the great Dick Fitswell. Who is the man Fitswell chooses to spread the gospel of the Quest for the perfect fit.

The hedonistic pursuit of sex plays a huge role in Pattaya Pattaya Pattaya Confessions of Sin City. Whose characters gratify their sexual needs in various forms. Three devoting themselves to the pursuit of lady boys. Who are regarded throughout the kingdom as Thailand’s Third Sex.

Which is very entertaining for all of you who don’t know much about lady boys.

But it is critical that you understand what Thai bar girl rats are. And how this is should change your whole approach to developing a long term relationship with bar girls.

Because unlike Big Jim, Fast Eddy believes in exceptionism.

Almost all of you will end up thinking, “my girl is different from all the other bar girls”. So let me stop you right now. Because I’m telling you, that your bar girlfriends will wind up sadly disappointing by a factor of 99 to 1. To find out why, you need to read Pattaya Pattaya Pattaya Confessions of Sin City. All 400 pages of it because I cannot begin to describe what you are up against in this post.

But Fast Eddy’s already read Neil Hutchison’s Money Number One, which all of you should read before you arrive at Pattaya to satisfy the urgent throbbing in your groins. But I know Neil personally. And even though Neil wrote Fool in Paradise, The Fool is back and several over sequels to Money Number one, even the great guru himself eventually succumbed to “the great exception” to what he has taught thousands of his readers. But Neil never had to go through what Fast Eddy’s been through with his unforgettable Kit. While Big Jim tells Fast Eddy Kit is the number one out of all the other Thai bar girl rats.

Big Jim tells Fast Eddy, these bar girls are programmed in Thailand like no other country has ever done. To believe that Thainess is everything.

That Thais are the greatest people on earth and all of us foreigners are inferior to Thai greatness. Foreigners have nothing to teach us and are not worth anything so long as they keep giving us money.

You can give them a beautiful home, life long security which they never have had. You can support their entire family, but in the end all of them want to end up as Thai bar girl rats. And take them to America, take them to Japan and Hong Kong. Show them the world but all of this means nothing. They want to live and eat Thainess, dream Thainess, and if given the chance they will leave you in the gutter if you ever run out of money.

Fast Eddy’s thoughts are along similar lines. He knows that 90 percent of all Soi Six girls have Thai boyfriends. More than one Soi Six mamasan has told him that the Walking Street go go girls and the Soi Six prostitutes work for their Thai boyfriends. And that their foreign boyfriends will forever only be Atms to them. But the beautiful Kit’s different. Due to a bond they have together that’s never been tested before between a bar girl and her foreign sponsor. A connection of life and death.

I finished writing Pattaya Pattaya Pattaya Confessions of Sin City five months ago. But Big Jim’s theory of Thai bar girl rats still persists as I keep having to deal with one bar girl after the other.

According to Big Tom, all bar girls prefer living in a single room with three other bar girls or with their Thai boyfriends sleeping three or four to a bed than living in a nice condo like mine.

And then I met still one more Soi Six bar girl one month ago.

I told her two stories the first night I saw her while we were having Thai Whiskey’s together. And within half an hour she had broken into no stop hysterical laughter. When I told her I wanted to go down the street to drink with a Soi Six manager friend of mine, she kept asking me to take her upstairs. Thinking this girl likes me already, I decided to take her up on it. Which ended up better than I ever thought.

Then I hit three more Soi Six bars ending up at Toy Box where I found the manager having the time of his life. While being the ringleader of a huge spontaneous party that would make the Delta House fraternity from Animal House proud. While most of the Soi Six bars had already closed at midnight, Toy Box was still going strong at 1:30. I left at 1:30, half smashed on my ass and headed straight to my motorbike that I had left in front of the woman’s bar. And there she was, standing in front of her bar waiting for me. The bar long since closed. So I put her on my motorbike and took her back to my condo.

She’s been here four times already. But even that first night she discovered that the shower in my large bedroom accompanied my small jacuzzi, In the last two years no girl had ever tried to use the jacuzzi. Each girl deciding that the shower would get the job done.

But each night this girl stayed with me she kept using my jacuzzi, filling the tub two thirds full of hot sudsy water.

I was in the toilet getting rid of all the food she was eating. So I’d stand by the door asking her if everything was already. And when she told me she was doing just fine, I would come in and look at her beautiful body lying among all those soap suds. Then just three nights ago I decided to jump in with her even though that jacuzzi of mine was only about four feet long, making it too small for me alone unless I put my legs up over the far side.

But no problem. I just put my legs up around her shoulders and one thing led to another.

But good god, that girl is one hell of an eating machine. Now we all know that most Thai bar girls eat four or five times a day. But eating 8 times a day?

That’s double the amount of meals all the rest of the girls are eating. So the first thing this girl tells me whenever we come back to my condo is, “Me want cooking.” So today I went to my fridge to find a couple eggs so I could make an omelette for myself. But there was not a single egg left, which means in one night and the next morning she had cooked over nine eggs which she had made into an omelette or some form of Thai food or another.

So I started thinking about Big Jim’s theory about Thai bar girl rats. This Soi Six girl was living in a single room above her Soi Six bar. Where she had no cooking facilities whatever. While she had been enjoying my small jacuzzi to the utmost. And whenever the subject of a new Pattaya Lock down comes up she keeps telling me she want to stay with me as long as the lockdown lasts.

Is this girl the exception of Big Jim’s theory about Thai bar girl rats?

Because if she really prefers living with two or three other Thai women in a single room she’s not going to have a big kitchen to cook in. While unlike Kit and Belle each of them staying with me over a month. Belle during the last lockdown, neither ever tried to use my jacuzzi which obviously this girl had gotten addicted to.

Even it there is a new lockdown, I think I”m going to stay in my condo by my lonesome. Where I can do whatever I want and not have to cater to the wants and needs of a bar girl.

Especially this bar girl’s relentless addiction to food.

I think I’ll just have this new freelancer girlfriend who has her own room come and go whenever I need a woman’s presence. I can have her clean my condo each week. She lives very close to me. And she’s pretty low maintenance. And perhaps another woman or two. As to Big Jim. As usual he’s wrong. Because this particular Soi Six girl isn’t about to run off to live with a bunch of Thai bar girl rats. Not if she’s given a choice for a far superior place to stay. Where she’s got air conditioning, great internet, and a large kitchen. Or that sensational jacuzzi of mine where she can do her bubble bath.

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