Pattaya Soi Six lies just has to start with Noi, the whore who fucked over 1500 Koreans in 7 months.

Well, I tells you all this is one helluva story, Noi fucking all dem Koreans.  And you aren’t going to get this story anywhere else because Korea denies that this shit even exists.  But I got it from the horse’s mouth while we are drinkin tequila together.  We are talking some serious sex trafficking here.  Stuff that’s against the law.  We are talkin putting ladies in what amounts to jail.  Slavery.  Cept these gals do get paid.  But it’s all pretty inhumane shit.

I love you Uncle Bufford

Now I gots to admit.  I have one helluva personality.  Cause if I didn’t you wouldn’t be reading this here post.  Anyways, here’s Noi telling me her stories.  And I ask her, “What do you want out of life?”

So Noi says to me,  I will be 34 next week.  (Will you come to my birthday so you can give me money).  Well you can believe me, if I go, I’m checking her IUD.  Because I’ve heard enough Soi Six lies about all these girls birthdays.

Then Noi starts to answer my question. “I want to work bar for 2 more years.  Then finish bar.  Find falang who can take good care of me.”  But Noi’s a talker so she continues on.

“Remember that American who was giving me 30,000 baht a month to stay with him?”

“Yes.  I remember because I never see you for three months and you told me you were going to go with him.”

“He’s wanting me to stay long time with him again.  For 30,000 baht a month.”

“And his room,” I replied.

Which might not be too bad, I’m thinking, because I sure as hell have seen enough of Noi’s room.”  Which is on the 2nd floor of the Soi Six Bar she works at.  Which is not too shabby, but probably nowhere as good as what this old man is offering her.”

“But he’s so boring,” Noi continued.  He gets up every morning at the same time.  Then he makes his coffee.  And reads his newspaper.

But he never goes anywhere.  He just stays at home.”

“I remember you telling me that,” I replied.

“He never takes me anywhere, and I can’t go out alone.  But I went out one night.  Came back late and oh oh oh, he get so angry with me.”

“I would too.”

But you different, Uncle Bufford.  Noi continued with her Pattaya Soi Six lies.  You funny.  And you boom boom very good.

Noi continues with her Pattaya Soi Six lies

“You have a beautiful dick, Uncle Bufford.  And I know because I have fucked too many dicks.”

Which might be true.  In fact I was thinking of having a cast made of my dick and have it entered in the Hall of Ill Fame.

I’m a thinking, Noi probably really likes me.  She will suck my asshole.  And even let me fuck her ass.  But I haven’t gotten around to that just yet.

Then I ask her.   Would you stay with a man if he gives you room and 20000 baht?”

“I really need 30,000 baht.  That’s what I make her at this bar,” Noi replied.

“But if he not boring.  And he take you out to bars.  To restaurants.” (but here I’m describing myself).  And he makes you laugh.”

I not sure.  But.  Okay.  I go with that man for 20,000 baht and room.”

She would go with me for sure.  But she now commits her biggest Pattaya Soi Six lies.

Noi is calling me every other day.  “you want to c me she keeps asking?”  Now Noi’s absolutely sensational in bed.  And she gives me these massages after sex.  But I got someone else who I absolutely adore.   Just one week after the last time Noi and I have sex together.  She disappears.

The girls at her bar tell me, “she go home.”

Which his standard bar girl procedure.  Cause rarely do these girls go home.  They go with customer long time.  So the other bar girls cover her ass.   And tell customer she go home.”  This is the most typical of all Pattaya Soi Six lies.

But Noi who loves me too much won’t even answer the telephone when I call her.  Or message her.

So my conclusion is, she was telling me pure horseshit all the time.  Sure.  She would stay with me for 20,000 baht and a room.  Or stay with me in my condo.  But I”m a thinkin she went with that ole geezer after all.  And he’s paying her 30,000 baht.  While he’s boring the shit out of her.

But times are tough down here on Soi Six.  While she won’t even call me back.  Even though she claims she loves my skinny little ass, and my beautiful dick.  But to tell you the truth.  I really don’t give a shit.

Phang, guilty of obvious Pattaya Soi Six lies

Now Phang is one of the most straight up gals on Soi Six.  She will tell you if she’s busy with a customer or not.  And she’s a great performer.  Who will even give you a massage before sex.   But not this time.  Because she’s busy, and not doing what she says she’s doing.

The last time I saw her she said.

“I probably have to go home if this little boy dies.

“For how long?” I asked.

“1 week I think.”

One week passes, and Phang’s still not back at her Soi Six Bar

So I text messaged her. “Are you working tonight?”

“No.  If this little boy dies, I must go home.  (but she’s not working in the bar either).

And now two more weeks later it’s the same Pattaya Soi Six lies

She’s still not working at her Soi Six bar.   While the little boy still doesn’t know if he’s living or dying.

This is not one of those Pattaya Soi Six lies, but it’s a great story anyway.

“I don’t like fucking Thai men,” Noi told me.  Except just this once, and the sex lasted three hours,”  Noi giggled.  Remembering what happened as a total lark.

“There’s this guy driving one of those little cars taking tourists around.  So when he saw me walking down the street he stopped and asked me.”

“Are you looking for customers.”

“Yes.  I am always looking for customers who will pay me money.”

“There’s a rich Chinese who’s living in Moon Light Hotel, who will pay you 7000 baht to spend the night with him.  Are you interested?”

“Of course I am.”

“Hop on in.  I take you to his hotel now.”

So this guy takes me to the Moon Light Hotel.  He leaves me in the car for a few minutes.  And then he comes down and tells me the Chinese is not there.”

“But I will pay you for sex instead.  I have a room I can take you to.”

“So the guy takes me to a room.  And then he gives me something to drink.  Then.  This is unbelievable.  We have sex for three hours straight.  But remember.  I have boom boomed many dicks.  This never happen before.  Now I know something is wrong.”

I ask him.  “You put something in my drink?  At first he lie, and say he didn’t.  But later he tell me,  “I put something in your drink.  I put in my drink also.  Make very good boom boom.”

By this time Noi is laughing her ass off

Uncle Bufford.  You know what is really funny.  When I was in Korea many Korea man put something on the end of his dick.  He think it make lady’s pussy feel good.  But it hurts pussy.  Many Thai men do also.

By now I’m guessing that the number one of Noi’s  Pattaya Soi Six lies is her telling me she won’t go with a boring man when he pays her 30,000 baht a month.  While the second one of her biggest Pattaya Soi Six lies is trying to make me think that I’m number one with her.  And then she cannot even answer her phone.  But I will guarantee that when she comes back she will be ringing my phone at least 5 or 6 times a week.  Thinking that I am none the wiser.