Category Archives: Uncle Bufford bar girl advice Column

Uncle Bufford is the expert on Pattaya Bar Girls, Thai women, Pattaya Walking Street go go bars, Thailand beer bars and how to have the best and cheapest sex with Thai women

Bang ladyboy or not. That is number one Soi Six Question

I didn’t know if I wanted to bang ladyboy  or not.  I love having sex on Soi Six, but tonight.

Should I bang ladyboy or not?
Should I bang ladyboy or not?

Meeting the Soi Six ladyboy was unplanned.

I had two favorite girls at Goodfellows on Pattaya Soi Six.  Neither were there.  I might have gone straight to Walking Street to meet my friends, and hopefully one of the sexiest Pattaya bar girls I had seen all year.  I had promised my friends I’d meet them at 9 on Walking Street.  As for the girl, I had met her last week at the Crazy House go go bar.  She was a tall twenty-four year old.  172 centimeters tall without heels. That’s five foot eight which is VERY TALL for a Thai woman.

God knows, I had enough Tequila that night and I had bought enough Tequilas for her to nearly denude my wallet. She had spotted me from the stage, and when my eyes had met hers, I knew I was dead meat. She’d be over to my table as soon as she was let off the stage. I dimly remember that her body was close to being perfect, which is unusual for tall girls. And she had snuggled next to me for more than two hours, as we kissed each other, and drank our drinks, But that was last week. I figured only fifty fifty odds she’d be there tonight.

When the girls at Goodfellows told me my two favorites weren’t there,

I did an immediate about face and started down Soi Six towards Beach Road.

But I got only two bars down when I saw a pretty girl with a willowy body standing just outside her bar. The good thing was, I had never encountered the girl before, which means she was a clean slate that I knew nothing about. She could be my next adventure. But also a complete write. It could go either way. With just one hour before I had to meet my friends at Crazy House, there was no time to waste. It took all of two seconds for the words, “Want me to buy you drink?” came out of my mouth.

Ladyboy with silicon enhanced breasts
Would you do her, not not? Big Tom and I did a topless photo shoot of the ladyboy a few years ago. If you are honest with yourselves you would probably say, “Yes”

Two minutes later, she was fetching our drinks after she asked me for a vodka tonic, which is something a man would order and not likely to be a favorite of the ladies. Since the last time I had been in this bar, I had been drinking with a ladyboy, so the omens were not good. By the time I had finished half my second beer we were holding hands. That’s when she told me, “I’m a ladyboy.” Strangely enough, that didn’t bother me. I had been with several lady boys before, including that last one at the bar we were in. That lady boy had told me that she had been cut, and an artificial vagina had been installed to replace her severed penis.

Since I had never been with anyone who had a man made vagina

before I had taken her upstairs after having far too many drinks. She had lied. But I did her anyway. I just can’t remember what I did. And that’s good. I”m gettin to be kindof old and that’s the great thing about losing a few memory cells along the way to Alzheimer Land.

This girls hands were small for a ladyboy’s

and there was nothing in her voice giving off the tell tale signs of her being a ladyboy. There was also an indescribable feel about her hands, perhaps it was a certain lack of clamminess, that made me feel a certain comfort zone with her.

I asked her how tall she was, and she replied, “165 centimeters”, which is about five feet four. I then asked, “How many kilos are you?” “43,” she replied, I thought this to be pretty light for a five foot four ladyboy. But by the time my third beer arrived, time had started to run out on me. It was time to either shit or get off the pot. Either I’d have to leave soon if I was to still meet my friends, or I’d need to call them to tell them I wasn’t coming because I had decided to stay on Soi Six instead.

The question was, “Did I really want to bang ladyboy or not?”

2nd nude picture of ladyboy with the silicon breasts
“She” put all the other “girls” from her bar to shame–in looks and personality

Click here for the slideshow of the ladyboy with the enhanced mammary glands.

“How much for short time?” I asked her, figuring that if she was what she said she was, at least she was a good looking ladyboy.

“1000 baht,” she replied.

“I give every girl 800 baht I told her. You go with me, 800 baht?”  I  bang ladyboy for 800 baht also.

“No. I not same same every girl. You want me. You must pay 1000 baht.”

“Okay, so it was 300 baht for the room upstairs and 1000 baht for her.

That’s still just $36.00 now that the exchange rate is going up.”

A few minutes later we were in the room together. It was a small room but at least it had a shower inside, unlike many Soi Six short time rooms where you have to go down the hallway to a communal shower. What really mattered was what I found out as soon as she took her clothes off. She didn’t have a dick. Not only was she a lady through and through, but she was a damn good looking woman at that. Her body was simply glorious. I started to love that body as soon as I saw it, being that it was so exquisitely slender. She had a thin waist and nice slender legs. Small breasts, but they were very nice. At least she wasn’t flatter than a board.

“Why did you tell me you are a ladyboy?” I asked.

“Because I am tall and some guy he said to me, “You ladyboy.”

Some ladyboy. She completely turned me on.

From now on as far as I am concerned,  it’s okay to bang ladyman, so long as I’m not sure, one way or the other.  I don’t know exactly what this girl had.   Was it the fact that if she had really had a dick I still would have had sex with her and enjoyed it?  Or because I knew I much preferred good Soi Six whores to lady boys because I really like women and a good Soi Six whore in my experience can give a better blow job, and perform better sexually than any of the ladyboys I had been with before? Was it a sense of relief that I’d be doing a woman, and that this was more natural to me and much more easy to explain to people? Or was it because the girl actually looked so sexually enticing?

The sex was terrific even if it didn’t last all that long. After all, I had an appointment with my friends and perhaps with the tall go-go girl.  Whatever should happen, next week I’d be asking myself,  whether I really wanted to bang ladyboy or not?  I’m godawful with names so from this point on I’m calling that cute little Soi Six girl, “ladyboy”.  Or should I call her the Unladyboy?

Walking Street

Two of my friendswere waiting for me already at the Crazy House. But I only had a couple minutes between ordering my drink from the waitress and exchanging a few words with my buddies. I spotted my girl right off, towering over all the other girls as she danced on the stage. So I went straight over to her and promised to buy her a drink. After a couple of minutes she was sitting next to me. One drink later, she was on my lap.

As luck would have it, she was a coyote. I had to have her, but I still had my pride and my pride did not include having to pay a 1500 baht or 1000 baht bar fine. After a few minutes my friends would be going to another bar.

Our normal procedure was to normally have just one drink at each bar. That way we’d get to see between four and six go go bars in one night. But I don’t get over to Walking Street all that much.

If I had all the time in the world, I’d simply give the girl my phone number and wait for her to call me.

I’d see her on her day off or after hours, but I’d never lower myself to paying that huge bar fine. But for the past few years I’ve stopped taking girls back home with me to my condo. This way I’d remain free and single without any girlfriends who’d try to move in with me. If I played the game the way I used to, sooner or later many high dollar Walking Street go go girls would come to me on my terms, and since all the clubs hiring Coyotes had gotten inexcusably greedy, I wouldn’t hesitate to avoid paying their horribly high bar fines and wind up giving the greedy go go bar owners absolutely zilch.

I asked Big John, “What should I do with this girl?”

“I’d say you should fuck the shit out of her,” Big John replied.

“But she just told me her bar fine is 1000 baht and she wants 2000 baht short time.”

“I’d do it,” Big John replied. “You have the money and life is just too short.

What are you going to do with your money when you die anyway? Give it to your sisters? Give it to your nephew or nieces? None of them have worked nearly as hard as you and they don’t deserve your money.”

“Okay, then. I’m not going with you guys to the next bar. I’m taking your advice.”

One half hour later I barfined the girl and took her to the short time rooms down the street. It was 400 baht just for the room whereas the short time place in Naklua was only charging 280 baht. Right off, the girl told me she did not have a condom and neither did I. By this time we had both undressed so I put a towel around me and went outside into the hallway where I found one of the cleaning girls. I gave her a little money for a condom and she just happened to have one on her.

When I asked the girl to smoke me, she refused after saying, “Me no like.”

And by then she was already fooling around with her smart phone so I had to tell her to shut it off. I banged her alright, and it was okay. Just barely okay. Then she asked me as we put our clothes back on, “Do you want to go back with me to bar to have another drink?”

I could have said “No.” But what else was I going to do? I could go to another go go bar, but this girl was pretty good looking after all. Or I could go back to Soi Six and have just barely enough time to do another short time before all its bars closed at 1 a.m. But that wouldn ‘t exactly be relaxing.

Thinking about her, she didn’t even have a condom with her, and she didn’t even know enough to ask an employee for a condom. Needless to say she wasn’t exactly what I’d call a hardened professional.

Speaking of which I know one pretty Soi Six girl who’s a real pro.

She’s less than five foot tall and she dies her hair blondish brown. She’s only around 24 and she’s cute as hell, but she does about five tricks a day which at 1000 baht a pop means she pulls in close to $200 a day. And she’s worth it. She will run off from the room to go get some frilly sexy little outfits which she will put on. Or if she thinks you are into kink she will run off to get her little bag full of sex toys. She will lick your asshole and do about anything you want, even if you don’t ask for it. She’s just too good to be true.

But not this one. Come to think of it, I’ve only been around her twice and been in a room with her just once. Do I really expect her to fall in love with me? Yes. Absolutely yes. She will probably wind up falling in love with me. It’s just a matter of time. But not tonight.

So if she doesn’t want to suck just anybody’s dick the first time she meets them, can you really blame her?

She will wind up sucking mine. Why? Because I’m Uncle Bufford and I’m much more patient than the rest of you guys. I also know how to get to a lot of these babes. Not all of them because a lot of them will hate my guts, but I know this one kind of likes me, so it’s only a matter of time before I get to her heart. That is, if I want to spend all that time.

I’m in the mood for some more tequila. And since I’m not holding anything against this girl, I think I’ll just take her up on it. Actually, I kind of respect her for not wanting to suck my dick.  I decide to make it back to Soi Six on another night and have a few more with Miss No Blow Job.

But by now most of you will be asking yourselves whether it’s alright  “To bang ladyboy or not.   The answer is, “Up to you.”  After all, This Is Thailand (TIT).