Category Archives: Uncle Bufford bar girl advice Column

Uncle Bufford is the expert on Pattaya Bar Girls, Thai women, Pattaya Walking Street go go bars, Thailand beer bars and how to have the best and cheapest sex with Thai women

Soi Six bar girl speaks out about Falang

I want falang take care of me long time,  the Soi Six bar girl told me, but I want go to Thai Karioke bars and discos so my friends and I can listen to Thai music and look at Thai men.

Soi Six bar girl
This is not the girl in the story. But both women are in a Soi 6 bar. The girl on the left has just passed out from too much tequila.

Fortunately I am not this  Soi Six bar girl s sucker, and I don’t intend to be. I’m on the top of my game, and I’m just plain not interested in having a Thai girlfriend and you shouldn’t be either.

I’ve known  Soi Six bar girl for a long time.   I knows she’s speaking the truth.  And not just for herself but for nearly every Thai woman you are ever likely to be meeting.  Whethershe’s from a beer bar, go go, or from the Soi Six Bar I’m writing from this very minute. The girl’s sitting next to me downstairs. She’s on her smart phone drumming up new customers or telling guys she knows how much she loves them while I’m sitting here downing tequilas and beer with her and writing in my notebook. This bar’s a favorite hangout of mine.

Half an hour ago she was a great fuck. But she’s known me for a long time. She knows I’ve banged over fifty girls here on Soi Six and that’s not counting all the other places I keep pulling my wimmen from. Just two doors from this place is her favorite buddy who just happens to be the mamasan.

Last night the two went down to Walking Street together, but speaking of this mamasan, I’ve banged her too–about four times already but it’s been awhile.

She’s a great mamasan. She’s smart, she’s sexy, she speaks good English, and she never cons me.

As for the Soi Six bar girl  sitting with me in this here booth, this one’s never copped an attitude with me. She’s always friendly, but the best thing about her aside from her being cute and having a nice tight little body is she’s become like a comfortable shoe. I knows her and she knows me. This Soi Six bar girl has nothing to gain by lying to me now so I pop the big one on her.

“Would you ever like to have a falang boyfriend and quit being a Soi Six bar girl?”

(It’s a stupid question). I means who really wants to have one dick in her after another, which is exactly what these Soi Six girls have to put up with?

“It really hard to find good man,” she replies. “I try many times, but man always bad.”

Ain’t that the truth, I tell myself. To be honest, as outgoing and friendly as I am, I actually despise most men. They are full of themselves.  They are selfish.  And most of them never ever grew themselves a set of balls. Neil Hutchison was right when he wrote Fool in Paradise because that’s what most guys who come here are. Fools in Paradise, so when he wrote that book after writing Money Number One, what he meant was that nearly every man who comes to Pattaya is a complete idiot when it comes to Thai women. This Soi Six whore is right on the money.

Did I call her a whore? Well, I didn’t mean anything derogatory towards her when I wrote that.

She’s a damn site more useful to me than most wimmen are who don’t call themselves whores.

I’ve just paid her 800 baht.  She gives me terrific sex and now she’s content to just sit here with me. She hardly ever asks me for a drink, but I think if I kept plying her with alcohol she’d sit next to me all night. Except I’d be sure to be banging her again. She’s that good. And she’s going to tell me the truth now, just as that mamasan would if she were sitting with me instead. Yep, that mamasan certainly would, but now that I’m thinking of her I just can’t stop laughing.

A few months ago I came into the mamasan’s bar just to have a few drinks. That night I didn’t care if I boom boomed someone or not. I was out just to have fun, and when I first came in and saw mamasan dancing all around the place with that little white nurse’s hat on, I just knew that the entertainment was just a starting. There’s this guy standing near me, and right off I just knows he’s just fucked mamasan. But like I says, Mamasan’s dancing all around the place, obviously a little drunk, and then this man grabs her and starts dancing with her.

“Let’s get naked, get on the floor and fuck each other”, he tells her while he feels her up.

For a moment I thought she would have.  But I happen know she once told me she fucked between sixty and eighty guys a month in her bar. But then the man comes over to me while she escapes into the toilet.

“Hi. I”m Olaf. I’m Swedish.”

“And I’m Uncle Bufford. That’s one pretty lady you are with,” I tell him.

“She certainly is. I just fucked her and I will fuck her again in a little while.”

‘Well, I’d like to fuck her too,” I told the man, not having the heart to tell him that I had been with her a few times before and had oftentimes just come in to have several drinks with her.

“I fucked 11 girls yesterday right next door to this place. At the O Bar,” the man replied.

“How’d you do that? I’m lucky to be able to get it up just for one girl,” I countered.

“I just told the bartender and everyone in the place that I wanted to fuck as many as I could and then I just started having the girls come upstairs to my room one after the other.”

When mamasan finally came out of the toilet the Swede left me. She staggered up to him. Then he grabbed the Soi Six bar girl , kissed her on the lips, and pulled away.

Standing in the center of the bar, he unzipped his pants, pulled out his dick and asked her, “Do you member this?”

I’ll never forget the way she laughed at him and replied,

“How can I remember your dick when I’ve already had three thousand of them in me already?”

Now all you guys who are reading this about now will not learn this most fundamental lesson. That is this is what you are going to amount to most of these bar girls is that you are just one more dick out of hundreds, and quite possibly thousands, and if you don’t believe me just go read Money Number One.

I love that mamasan, and as for that Swede, a few minutes later he comes up to me again and then he goes to the toilet. But he doesn’t come out. A few minutes pass, and finally he opens the toilet door, takes a few steps out into the bar, and then he goes back inside again.

He’s puking his guts out, obviously not able to control his alcohol. Which brings me back to the girl I’m with tonight.

“So what will you do, if you find a Western boyfriend and you decide to stay together long time.  And what must he pay you to stop you from working bar?” I ask the Soi Six bar girl .

“Fifteen thousand baht. Twenty thousand,” she replies. But falang want to control me. That is big problem. I don’t mind if he goes out with his friends to bars at night but he should let me to. I want to go out with friends to discos and bars, listen to Thai music. Look at Thai men.”

Aha. I thought so. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. And what’s this with Thai men? I despise most of them. I know what nearly all of them are about. But I’m not getting into all of that, except to say

 Any woman who prefers Thai men is of no real interest to me. But I don’t care. This gals just plain good company, and besides, I love fucking her.

I could easily just stay here and drink with her for the next two or three hours but I need to go down to Walking Street so that I can write about my next experience there in my Uncle Bufford Walking Street Reviews.  Plus, there’s a very pretty go go girl that I’ve got my heart set on boom booming later on tonight.

But I till love a Soi Six bar girl best of all.