Uncle Bufford bar girl advice Column Archives

In the Soi Six bar police almost catch Billy Bob with his pants off. And that would be me. Uncle Bufford’s disciple.

Soi Six bar police almost catch Billy Bob naked — Damn, that was sure a close all with the Soi Six bar police. To find out more about me, check out the Uncle Bufford advice column.

Notice that I changed one word from my title. That is the key word almost. I said the Soi Six bar police catch Billy Bob with his pants off just to get your attention. Because it should. Police harassment of Soi Six bars is getting to be that serious.

Here’s how serious the situation is getting. Out of the 75 units in my condo building, the police have put 5 of our residents in jail. These are only residents that I know of.

But what you really came here for was how at a Soi Six bar police almost caught me with my pants off.

Here’s how the at a Soi Six bar police almost caught me with my pants down. Right after I copulated.

Now this girl must be about the most slender gal I’ve ever met on Soi Six. The first time I saw her, another girl at her bar tried to pull me inside the place. To buy her a drink. But when I saw her, I thought she was about the cutest thing on two legs. I had to have her. So I ignored the first woman.

I looked her in the eye and she looked right back at me. Our eyes were riveted together so much that it took just a single motion of my eyes to tell her I wanted to buy her a drink. I wanted the other girl to get lost.

This girl was even prettier than the Doll House go go girls. But the Soi 6 girl had a toothpick frame for a body.

We sat down at the bar together, and she got busy before our drinks even arrived. I felt small hands on my balls, and I knew right then that I wouldn’t waste any time.

She was 160 centimeters all. Which comes to about five foot three. But she admitted to weighing just 40 kilos or 88 pounds. So she looked a lot taller than she actually was. In her clothing she looked very shapely and had a fine ass. Looking as tall as she did she almost looked stately.

But my God. When I took her in the shower and stood naked with her, I nearly changed my mind.

She was so godawfully skinny.

Honestly, she looked like she had just come out of a concentration camp. I almost took her back to ask for a refund for my money.

The room set me back 300 baht. Which is typical for Soi Six. Reluctantly I took the girl over to the bed and lay down with her.

But brother, did she get active. She went down on me like an impact drill. And she kept at it, and kept at it, until I nearly came in her mouth. Then I turned her over and went down on her.

By now I didn’t even notice how skinny she was. She tasted good. And she got really wet real fast. Her box lunch was mighty fine.

When I started to bang her, she curled her little body right into mine. Her head was small. I started to rub her hair. Then her neck. We took a long time together before I turned her over. So that she straddled me.

She had thin toothpick legs. Her hips were narrow. She fit right between my thighs while straddling me in the female superior position.

Pulling herself right into my groin brought us right into each other. I had maximum penetration you would never get from a fat woman. Or even a normal woman.

So let me tell you guys who like a woman who’s got enough meat to hold onto. Well, you guys don’t know any better.

And as for all of you who like big tits. Okay, they can be nice. But silicon? There’s nothing worse than silicon. But take a set of nature well formed tits. Well, okay, they can be kind of nice.

But not essential. Now this slender little thing’s practically got no tits at all. But the little bits that she does have expand and start to fill up my mouth. I can feel her little body tightening up against me as I suck her little tits.

To make a long story short, I come and I’m pretty damn sure she does as well.

But now it’s time to get back to the Soi Six bar police and how they almost catch me in the act.

I think it was the 3rd time I took her upstairs. By now I had found out she gives an incredible blow job. She doesn’t hesitate to suck in all my cum and swallow.

The long and short of this is, we’ve just finished whatever we’ve been doing. I’ve had an orgasm, and I’m still butt naked. I have left a half empty bottle of beer on the headboard, and I’m about to swallow the rest of my beer. Then

Suddenly, three Thai women rush into the room

The police are coming. You must leave. Quicky, they tell me in loud voices. My underwear pants are on the floor. So are my sandals. I reach town for my underwear shorts. Then I try to put them on. I can’t get the hole my dick comes out of to match up with my dick. The women are frantic. And so am I.

I do not want the police to find me butt naked in a Soi Six short time room. It’s likely to make the paper. The same way it happened at the Windmill Club when the police caught a falang in a short time room upstairs with one of the Windmill girls. They published the guy’s name and picture everywhere. Then the police closed the Windmill down for a whole month.

I looked down underneath the bed. But there wasn’t even the smallest space to crawl in there where I could hide from the police.

I still kept fumbling with my underwear shorts. Finally I gave up and one of the women took them from me. Then I pulled my shorts over my naked ass and dick, and shoved my feet into my sandals. Putting my shirt on was my last act before I headed down the two flights of stairs down into the bar. I managed to get three buttons buttoned so my chest was showing through my shirt. But no matter. I was down into the bar at last. The girl followed me and took a bar stool next to me as I sat down.

Ordering two beers. One for her and one for me, I started to relax and wait. But the police never came.

Later, I heard that the military was accompanying the police as they raided many bars in the area. The politicians had arranged a big push to show they had big face. And that they were ridding Pattaya of all vermin, such as me.

I narrowly slithered out of this one. But I have a lot more to tell about what I’m now doing to avoid Pattaya’s finest men in brown, but that will have to come later.

But for now, what all you guys need is to realize that in these parts of the woods money is number one. So before you even consider being with any Thai girl you need to get the Bible. That’s it. Money Number one. And don’t ever leave home without it.