I never sat next to the beautiful Walking Street go-go girl wearing  glasses.  She never sat at our table.  And she never spoke with me. She would have probably tried to  milk me out of  all the drinks she could get.    Figuring I was a tourist who didn’t know better.

But Billy Bob and I kept noticing the beautiful Walking Street go-go girl wearing  glasses whether she was dancing on the stage or sitting across the room from us with her latest customer.  But it was the glasses that made this girl stand out from all the other girls. Sure, she had a beautiful trim little body.  But many other go go dancers at the Light House were equally attractive. Thing is, not many Thai women wear glasses, or at least not here in Pattaya where reading is totally unimportant.

Many customers coming into the Light House no doubt felt that she was sharper than the rest.  Therefore she was worth   getting to know for her brain as much as her looks.

But tonight we never bothered to go into the Light House.  Even though it has great eye candy and is good for a happy hour priced drink or two.   Bottom line is nothing eventful ever happened to me there , and at 150 baht for a beer, I at least expect the girl I’m sitting with to do her best to titillate me.

Take the last time I was at Crazy House for example. It was that Jacuzzi girl who got to me.  As she showed off her beautiful naked body while giving me the eye from across the room.  Our eyes met, she smiled at me.  Fifteen minutes later she came over to me and sat in my lap. Then she started touching my stomach.  Then she took my nipples into her mouth and started biting down on them.

Now that got my attention real fast. But the Light House? “Nada. Nothing. Zilch. No action.  So screw it,

I’m taking a pass on it tonight.” So we went to Crazy House where the Jacuzzi girl wasn’t.  Then we went to the Palace A Go Go where  the Beautiful Walking Street go-go girl wearing glasses joined us.

I hadn’t realized that Billy Bob already knew her.  But Billy Bob likes the go-go bars a lot more than I do, so here she was sitting across from me. She was friendly enough. She was even polite to me, but I knew she was one of those high dollar girls.

Billy Bob told me once that she had told a man that she would quit working in the go go club if he paid her family 50,000 baht a month. Which didn’t even count what he’d have to pay her.  But but you gotta figure it’s going to be 75 ,000 to 100,000 baht altogether. So we are talking about $2500 to $3000 a month now, which is one helluva lot for a girl who probably doesn’t have more than a sixth grade education.  But…who knows? Perhaps she’s worth it if a man’s got a lot of money to blow.  And she’s got a brain and some good conversation ability.

Most of the girls in the Palace Go go were up on the stage were looking across at themselves in the mirror

while hardly noticing the customers. Which didn’t bother me in the least. I was with Billy Bob and whenever we are together we are going to have a great time no matter what happens. Straight off, Billy Bob buys the girl wearing the glasses a drink.  Which surprises the hell out of me because Billy Bob is cheap when it comes to the wimmen.

But this one,  this beautiful Walking Street go-go girl wearing glasses got an attitude.

It’s not that she’s talking too much or talking trash. And it’s not that the beautiful Walking Street go-go girl wearing glasses is pushy. It’s just too obvious to me that she has a very high opinion of herself. I look at her, studying her intently.

And oh yes, she’s got a great body. But she’s very pretty also. I imagine her not wearing her glasses and decide that she’s going to look a lot better with them than without. Suddenly I come up with a mischievous thought. I take the bill for my drink out of the bin, hold it up in front of her, and ask: “Can you read this bin without your glasses?” But then Billy Bob, he pulls her glasses straight off her face so he must be thinking the same thing I’m thinking. After laying the bill down on the table, he suddenly blurts out: “This is just plain glass. These glasses are non-proscription.”

We’ve caught the girl with the fake glasses out.  Billy Bob says, “Last week you were telling me you were wearing contacts so you were not wearing your. Are they made of non-prescriptive glass too?” Without hesitating the girl replies: “I need to wear glasses because of the light in here.”

To which I might reply, “This is not LOS” (the land of smiles)–it is LOL (the Land of Lies). But no matter. We’d hit a couple of more go go bars afterwards where I’d find a new conquest.  Perhaps a waitress with a perfect body.  And trust me, there will be none of that coyote go go high dollar pricing to go with the terrific time I’ll be having with the service girl.

“I must have 30,000 baht a month to leave Pattaya Go Go Bar,  I have 2 children. Pretty cheap,” the pretty toilet girl of Pattaya said as she lay next to me.

I had just paid her 1000 baht bar fine, plus another 350 baht for the short time room, and I was going to pay her 2000 baht more just for the short time. But I just had to have her.

She was the girl I had met in the toilet at a go go bar that was charging me 140 baht for a bottle of beer.

I’m smart enough not to be paying so much money just for sex, but I just knew that tonight the sex would be otherworldly. But to all of you who are reading my lines of wisdom, don’t do what I’m doing. I just got that itch that must be satisfied and since I’m playing Clark Kent and Superman, I’m taking the expensive option out.

In my 20th floor ocean front condo, I’m Clark Kent. The entire Thai staff knows me. During the last several years I haven’t brought many girls back to my condo. Here, on my home turf I play it pretty professional and straight and narrow with hardly anyone knowing my true identity.

This is my true self, as Uncle Bufford–as superman whose main goal is to sample as many women as possible so that I can get to the bottom of this sex thing that makes the world go round and round.

But my condo is my home, and I don’t need to have all these bar girls clamoring at my door wanting to get a piece of me. Here I am shy retiring Clark Kent, the nice guy who spends a lot of time reading books and concentrating on computers and the internet.

Here in this short time room, I don’t have any alcohol and I don’t have any music either. I wish I had this beautiful girl of Pattaya  lying next to me back at my condo so that we can have all the time in the world together, relaxing over drinks out on my balcony with the superlative view of the Gulf of Thailand before us. But she’d probably like that too much and then she’d try to keep coming back for more. But that’s a future problem that will never exist because I’m just not going to be letting it happen.

This girl of Pattaya and I haven’t had sex yet. We are just lying together in each other arms doing a little kissing and talking. She’s only 23.

For a lot of guys she’s probably just too skinny. Why she has hardly any tits at all and she has a narrow ass I can just about cover with one hand. But her face, her eyes, her smile is just so ungodly sexy. She’s all personality which is just how I found her the first night we met in the toilet.

That first night I came into the go go bar there were a lot of very sexy girls dancing on the club’s long stage, but most of them were watching themselves in the mirror, hardly paying attention to the customers in the club. Except for the fact that I had to go to the toilet in the worse way I was getting pretty bored with everything. That’s when I said to Billy Bob sitting next to me,

“I’ve gotta take a piss, Billy Bob. Maybe tonight I’ll get lucky in the toilet here and a lady boy will start grabbing onto my dick trying to help me out.”

Well, there waszn’t a single lady boy in the place. And since this was my first time in this here go-go bar I had no idea what the toilet was like anyways. But when I first come into that toilet I sure got surprised because there must have been about three ladies in there with me. One of them had just gone into the stall to take a dump, and with the other stall taken also I had no choice other than to stand up against a urinal like a man and try to piss while people were watching me.

Soon as I started trying to take that piss this cute looking girl of Pattaya comes up to me and asks, “Can I watch?”

“Sure you can,” I replied. “Just don’t look at my dick.”

“Why not look at dick. Dick you no good?”

“Maybe too small,” I answered back. “Girl of Pattaya,  Can you help me pee pee?” I added. I cannot. Not when people look at me.”

“I help you,” the girl of Pattaya said to me as she started to massage my shoulders.”

There was still another girl of Pattaya in the toilet behind us watching and another girl was looking inside the toilets open door watching the girl massaging my shoulders.

“I think I’ll be here for a long time,” I called out to them all. I always have problems when I go pee pee.”

Then the girl reached down and started to fondle my dick, which started to get a little hard. I’ll never be able to piss now, I told myself. Which of course I couldn’t. Ten minutes passed before I finally gave up and took the girl back to my table. I bought her a Tequila, and then when she finished it I bought her a second Tequila.

By this time she was sprawled out all over me, kissing me.

“Boy is she hot”, said Billy Bob who was still sitting next to us. He felt her stomach and asked her, “Do you have any kids?”

“I have two children,” she replied.

“You have no fat on your stomach whatsoever,” Billy Bob commented. “I can’t believe that you actually have two children.” Then he felt her ass and exclaimed, “What a beautiful ass. It is so narrow and so firm that I can only get one hand across it.”

By the time this girl of Pattaya was finishing her third tequila I really wanted her. I could feel her skin start crawling into mine.

She had long hair billowing around my face as she unbuttoned my shirt and slid her hands across my chest. “I want another Tequila,” she demanded.

Which is all I needed, I told myself. Too many times I had girls get sick by the time the fourth tequila arrived and I doubt if this girl weighed even ninety pounds. It was also getting late and I wanted to go home.

“I gotta go,” I told her.

“Where?”

“Back to my condo.”

“Can you give me tip first?” she asked.

“Let’s go back into the toilet together one more time,” I insisted, “and in the toilet we can discuss your tip.”

She didn’t hesitate one second and followed me into the toilet as I opened the door to a stall. She followed me in and then I locked the door behind us. I whipped out my dick, and then she took it into her hands. I really wanted to piss. But I waited for her next move instead.

“Do you have a condom?” she asked.

“No. Do you have a condom?”

“No.”

“Just keep feeling my dick,” I replied. You will think of something.”

And then I waited for her to start giving me a blowjob.

But she didn’t. I could have insisted. O pulled her face down on top of my dick, but I am too much of a gentleman for that. I gave her two hundred baht instead, for all the personal attention she had been giving me for the past couple of hours. We went back to our table where I settled my bill and then I left. But for the next several days I couldn’t keep her out of my mind.

So I went back. And I didn’t even call my friends first to find out which Walking Street Go Go bar they were in.

I had one thing in mind, and that was this girl of Pattaya, and certainly not my friends.

That could wait until later. I’d just call them while I was waiting for the waitress to bring me my first beer. But as soon as I went into the place and started to walk past the go go girls dancing along that stage, I saw her sitting next to a Japanese staring right at me. She smiled, waved, and then she pointed further down the bar where I found Billy Bob drinking with two other friends. There was no place to sit near them as a fourth man sat off to their immediate right and just to this man’s right was a hot tub that was occupied by a very naked attractive woman throwing soap suds against her breasts. The waitresses quickly found a small stool and placed it in front of the fourth man and the hot tub girl.

The man sitting directly in front of me, introduced himself, and after a few words of conversation I turned my back to everyone and started watching the naked woman in the hot tub.

From this position I could also watch my “ favorite toilet girl” who was still sitting next to the Japanese.

Surprisingly she kept looking my way scarcely paying any attention to her customer. Then she started to rub her eyes in a pantomime of crying her eyes out.

“Yeah, Yeah, Yeah,” I said to my friends as I turned around to look them all in their faces. “They all do that, as if none of us have never seen it before. She is acting as if she’d really rather be with me, but then he will pay her bar fine and off she will go with him hoping that I will come back to claim her on some other night.”

Fifteen more minutes passed while I alternated between looking directly at my friends and turning around to watch the girl in the hot tub and the girls dancing on the stage. “I will take another girl in this club,” I reasoned with myself. “There are a lot of good lookers in here.”

But my girl, my toilet girl queen, kept on focusing on me, watching me, then she’d turn around to face her customer, and then a few seconds she would turn around once again to look at me.

Suddenly the Japanese stood up and started settling his bill with one of the waitresses. I still thought he was barfining the girl, but after a few moments he walked out of the club, alone.

As soon as he was out the door she was standing next to me, but there was no place for her to sit. Then I noticed two empty seats across the stage from where my friends were all sitting so I took the cup containing my bar bill to the little table and sat down with her a good twenty feet away from my pals.

Before our first drink even arrived she was already feeling my dick. From the time she sat down with me I don’t think she left it alone for more than several minutes.

A few minutes later Billy Bob and our other two friends came over to announce that they were going over to another go go bar. I told them I was not moving one inch.

A few minutes later I barfined her and then we went to the short time room together. But once we were in the room she told me those words I never wanted to hear. “I have no condom.” And neither did I. So it was oral sex all the way. Which leads us to tonight.

Once again I found her in the bar, or shall I say, she found me. The little service girl has a fixation on me for some reason. She comes over to me as soon as the hostess seats me. In moments she’s standing just a foot away from me. She will remain in this basic position for 60 percent of the time I’m in the place.  It takes only  three minutes for my favorite girl of Pattaya to find me at my table.

She takes a seat close to me within an area that cannot begin to seat a fat assed Western woman.

Within the next five minutes I have three  pretty ladies around me. The third girl is a woman my toilet lady claims is her sister, which is probably not true at all. I get myself a beer from the waitress and a tequila and coke for my girl. From that point on all three of them are relentless in their attempts to suck me out of as many drinks as possible.

“The two sisters” are coyote dancers who are typically hired for ten day shifts. They work for a company rather than a club. Bar fines for such coyote girls are way too high, typically between 1000 and 1500 baht. Each girl gets a high salary from the company. But the go go bar owner doesn’t have to work very hard at all to get a stable of good looking Thai women working as go go dancers for him. The company does all the work for him.

Because their salaries are so high, the company employing the coyote dancers must reclaim a lot of that expense in the form of drink sales and bar fines which used to run 600 baht on the average but which are now running about double that. The three women have no choice. They each have a quota on how many drinks each girl must sell a month. But I’m onto their game and I have a pat answer for all three of them.

“I only buy drinks for the girl I’m fucking,” I tell them all, and tonight I’m only fucking our toilet queen here because I’m not enough man to be fucking all three of you.”

It works. Both the waitress and the “sister” keep hanging around me, drinks or no drinks.  It isn’t long before I’m heading to the short time room with the sole object of my lust.

The sex is great. I feel every inch of her from three different sexual positions. Nearly two hours will go by before we leave the short time room. I swear I get a lot better penetration from very slender women. They just melt into my body. And this girl of Pattaya is just as much into me as I’m into her. Which is about as deep as it gets.  This Walking Street toilet girl of Pattaya just might amount to one of my greatest finds.