Category Archives: Thoughts from the expats corner

Jack Corbett has now been living full time in Thailand as an expat. This category encompasses a wide range of thoughts and subjects from the perspective of being in a strange land thousands of miles from the United States where the culture oftentimes seems to be 180 degrees apart from the values and beliefs of the West.

LX7 Panasonic vs Nikon D750 for low light video

LX7 Panasonic vs Nikon D750 for low light video.  You be the judge. Here’s a pair of videos I shot at the Pattaya Siam Siam night club.

LX7 Panasonic vs Nikon D750 for low light video
While shooting the video with the Nikon D750 I got this picture. There is nothing like using a professional SLR camera when you are using the best lenses. The Nikon 17 by 35 mm 2.8 lens is one of the finest pro lens ever built as this picture attests. The question is, Will my Nikon D750 deliver when it comes to low light video? Until tonight, automatic focusing issues have kept this camera from delivering on its promise.

Here’s the first video.  This one’s with the Nikon D750 using the Nikon 17-35 mm 2.8 lens.

And here’s the second.  I used the small Panasonic LX7 camera to shoot this 2nd video.  This camera is an overachiever.  I can’t think of another compact camera anywhere near  this size that’s got a fast 1.4 lens.  The lens is a Leica to boot from Germany, and this camera has always delivered no matter how low the lighting situation was.

But there’s nothing like using completely professional equipment.  Canon’s just as good as Nikon.  But I got started with Nikon and I already had a pair of Nikon’s finest and most expensive lenses–a Nikon 28-70 2.8 and its sister lens, a Nikon 17-35 mm wide angle 2.8.  From everything I’ve ever read nothing out there tops these two lenses, but they are both god awful heavy and cost big bucks.

I’ve shot video in restaurants down on the beach and in bars with my Nikon, and I’ve practiced for days on end in my condo trying to get the automatic focus to work right.  The cameras got a mirror and I’ve been informed by people who are supposed to be in the know that SLRs like mine will not do a good job on automatic focus at night. But My Panasonic Lx7 has no such problems.  It works like a dream.

Shooting with the Panasonic LX7 at Siam Siam

So here’s the story on these two videos.  A couple of weeks ago a group of condo owners and their girlfriends who live in my building celebrated my girlfriend’s birthday at the Siam Siam night club in Pattaya.  Well let me tell you, this place is a treasure.  The views up on the top floors of Pattaya are absolutely stunning as both videos will show.  At my girlfriend’s birthday I’m shooting with the Panasonic LX7.   Rory, is there with his Hong Kong girlfriend, and so is Rod, an Englishman with Mai, a young willowy Thai beauty whose personality just doesn’t stop.  My girlfriend, May May is here too–well of course she is….she’s the birthday girl.  Viewing Pattaya from the Siam Siam night club’s upper floors is a lot like Hong Kong.  That’s where Rory and Iris live when Rory’s not here in Pattaya, and they both tell you in this first video that Pattaya’s a lot better than Hong Kong.

My birthday at Siam Siam shooting my Nikon D750 in low light

But I’m itching to do a new video at Siam Siam with my Nikon gear.  This time it’s my birthday.  The camera came out great in the video I shot at the Muay Thai boxing arena, but later on, the focusing failed me down at my favorite Pattaya beach restaurant.  I spend hours Saturday afternoon practicing with three different lenses shooting in different shooting modes in my condo, and I’m still in my underwear when the door bell rings.  It’s Mai coming down to visit with my girlfriend and to wish me a happy birthday.  Normally I don’t come to the door wearing only my underwear shorts.  It scares people too much having to view my nearly naked body. But hey, I take my photography and my video seriously and there’s no time for false modesty.

Later my girlfriend and I head to Siam Siam.  It’s just the two of us, off celebrating my birthday, but wait, it’s a threesome after all.  I’ve got my Nikon D750 with me.  So it’s Panasonic vs Nikon.  If the Panasonic LX7 wins out, I’m getting an even more capable Panasonic LX model when I visit the U.S. a few months from now.  THe LX100 with is larger sensor looks like the answer to my shooting the best video I can.  But  I know that nothing can beat my two Nikon lenses when it comes to making my subjects jump right out of the picture and delivering the richest color possible.

 

 

 

 

 

Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners raise prices again

girl victimized by Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners
Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners are raising bar fines to 1000-1500 baht levels and squeezing as many lady drinks from their customers as they can. The price of a beer now averages 150 baht. Most expats, the guys who live in Pattaya full time, hardly ever frequent the go go bars anymore. They know better than to have to pay 2000 baht short time, and a bar fine that goes from 1000 to 1500 baht while having to put up with the predatory tactics used by the go go girls to pressure customers into paying for an absurd number of drinks.

It’s Christmas day and I’m out on the town. I should know better. The Christmas holidays are when bar fines climb to insane levels. This is when greedy Pattaya go go bar owners really stick it to their customers. I told Billy Bob: “There’s no way I’m bar fining anyone tonight.” Then I ran into one of the sexiest go go dancers I’ve bar fined in a long time.

“Your bar fine still 800 baht?” I asked her.

“Now 1000 baht, “she replied.

“That’s a nice Christmas present from your big boss to his customers. Lek, I give you 1000 baht for short time.”

“Okay.”

Which was a great move on my part. And Lek was smart enough to go along with me.  I has been paying her 1500 baht for short time. Not real often though, because I gots me a couple of exceptional performers over on Soi Six for 1000 baht and it’s just 300 baht for the room with no bar fine. Sometimes I lay around the room for a couple of hours with one of the girls and I only have to pay the 300 baht room price once. And this girl is completely dedicated to making her Uncle Bufford come, no matter how long it takes. And she’s better looking than most go go girls. So is the other Soi Six girl.

So why in the world would I ever want to come down to Walking Street where the only customers are ignorant tourists who don’t know better?

Billy Bob’s not too keen on Soi Six for one thing. And it’s the challenge. I always tells my friends, “I can get some of these go go girls to bang me for 1000 baht.” But they don’t believe me. That’s because they iz idiots.

So I fucked Lek for 1000 baht. On Christmas night no less. The rest of you reading this can’t. But that’s only because you ain’t Uncle Bufford. I got the wisdom while the rest of you are only followers who can’t think for yourselves.

Only thing is all that tequila Lek and I keep drinking together at the CH go go bar is mighty high. She gets 50 baht for every lady’s drink I buy her, and I gots to pay 150 baht for all my beers. I can get the same beers at Soi Six for 90 baht, except for that go go bar that wants 120 baht. But I still go theres sometimes. That’s because there’s no pressure on me at the Soi Six go go bar. It’s so damn expensive to bang a girl upstairs that no way am I paying them stupid ass prices. So I just drink two or three drinks and move on to all them 1000 baht Soi Six girls.

I take Lek to the short time rooms across the street from CH. They have raised their prices to over 375 baht, and it’s either the girl or the Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners who gets the difference between the real 290 baht price this short time place charges customers who bring girls in from bars outside of Walking Street. I’m betting on the greedy Pattaya go go bar owners who rakes in this extra cash though.  Anyways, when you take a go go girl into this short time establishment, she fills out a little ticket. I thinks the short time place kicks back around 75 baht to the go go bar for each ticket.

Another thing. When I take Lek to the short time room, it’s like she’s got a time limit of half an hour or so because she’s always in a hurry to get me to come so she can get me back to her bar.  I’m sure in my heart that mamasan is making her cut my time short with her.   That Christmas night when I banged Lek for 1000 baht, Lek made me promise not to tell anyone that I’m doing her for 1000 baht.

At first I thought it was cause she was feeling she was losing face with the other girls. I mean how does it appear to all them go go bar girls who sit around eatin all that Pok Pok together all braggin about how much money they all iz makin and how much each customer gives them. Yeah right.

Here’s Lek telling all the other girls, “I’m doing Uncle Bufford for 1000 baht, and another girl is saying, “I only fuck Japanese men,because they pay me 3000 baht short time”.  That makes Lek feel real bad because she knows all the other girls are thinking, “Lek’s a cheapass 1000 baht whore while me and the other girls are 3000 baht high class prostitutes.” Fact of the matter Billy Bob thinks many of them will only go with Japanese men on account of the high prices dem Japanese keep paying.

So I promise Lek not to tell anyone in her bar that she’s now lowering her price to 1000 baht from the 1500 I have been paying her.

“Now keep that in mind all you Japanese men who are reading this. You guys pay 2000 baht or even more for the same girls I pay only half price for. Let’s face the facts, guys, I loves you Japanese but you sure are a bunch of piss poor money managers compared to me.”

The next time I come into CH Lek’s not there. But Mamasan who knows that I usually cannot control my dick, instructs another girl to pounce on me.  The girl’s one of the prettiest girls at CH, but she don’t have quite the body Lek’s got.  In no time she’s got her hands in my pants rubbin my dick and my balls. After a drink or two she says to me: “Short time me now. I want you now.”

“How about next week?” I reply.

“No good for me. Next week Lek’s going to be here and you will want Lek, not me.”

In spite of her rubbin my dick and my balls for a good hour and even gettin another girl to help her, I leave CH without bar fining her.

Banging Amy in the G Spot

A few days later, Billy Bob and I head to the G Spot on Walking Street. A girl spots me who I’ve not seen in over a year. She used to work at the Dolls A Go Go on Soi Six. Back then the short time room upstairs cost 500 baht, so I told her, “all the short time rooms here on Soi Six are 300 baht. Tell you what. You want 1000 baht short time.  I give you 800 since room is so much more.”  She agreed. So even though I was now on Walking Street, I knew she’d do me for 1000 baht.

But Mamasan told me I’d have to give her 2000 baht for short time.

“Mamasan.  Amy and I are old friends. I know her for 5 years.  Up to me.  Up to Amy what I give her.”

To this mamasan agreed.  And Amy backed me.  But there was just one short time room upstairs and they had to get it ready so there was a 15 minute wait.

Uncle Bufford goes for 3 go go girls in a row for 1000 baht.

So that’s two out of two girls who will boom boom me for 1000 baht. Which is fair enough.  Except the Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners are charging too much for their rooms and bar fines. So thinking mighty highly of myself I went back to CH.  Again, no Lek, but her “friend” was there and once again I was in the “friend’s” sights.

After the first tequila we had together I told her I would short time her for 1000 baht.  She didn’t say much, focusing upon her tequila instead of my proposition.

“I only pay ladies 1000 baht tip,” I said to her.

One tequila later she asks me, “What do you pay Lek?”

“I not tell you. That is up to Lek and me. Not you and not mamasan.”

After two or three tequilas she’s still with me.  Can I blame her when she’s getting 50 baht for each ladies drink?  I finally tell her. 1000 baht I pay you for short time or I leave now with Billy Bob.”

Again she asks, “What do you give Lek?”

And once again, I tell her, “That is up to Lek and me.”

She winds up refusing the 1000 baht and I check bin, anxious to leave A.S.A.P. thinking to myself, “Stupid girl.  That’s the last time I ever buy her a drink.”

*****

One week later

Lek launches herself on me just 10 seconds after I walk in the door. But I’ve been banging two girls down on Soi Six, and I’ve concluded, “It just doesn’t get any better than that.”

Billy Bob’s sitting on my immediate right while Lek is on my lap already stroking my dick.  It’s been awhile since I’ve been with Lek, but I remember just how succulently fine her breasts are.  I duck down and insert one of them in my mouth and start sucking away like a baby.

I tell Lek how “her friend” tried to get me to do a short time with her and how she refused the thousand baht offer I had given her.

“Mamasan be very angry with me if you tell her you boom boom me for 1000 baht,” Lek tells me.

(Are the mamasans getting a commission on go go dancer tips?  I’ve been here too long to dismiss this possibility)

“Not to worry, Lek.  I tell no one.  Not mamasan or girls here in Bar.”

“Who is girl who want you to boom boom you?”

The girl is dancing on the stage a few feet away from us.  So I point her out.  Then I tell Lek, “If I tell her you are boom booming me for 1000 baht she probably will also.”

“No one is going to boom boom for 1000 baht,” Lek replies.

“Except you, and a girl I took upstairs down at the G Spot last week. But I know her from Soi Six.”

Apparently not hearing me, Lek continued: “No girls will be doing 1000 short times here.”

“Except you.  But that is our little secret, Lek.”

After several drinks, I leave her after promising to short time her the next time I see her.  I had promised Billy Bob that tonight I wouldn’t be selfish and that I wouldn’t bar fine anyone, preferring to hit several go go’s with him instead.

Thinking more about Lek

But I’m rethinking Lek.  I think the two Soi Six girls like me a lot better than Lek does. On the other hand, mamasan is always horning in behind the scenes, no doubt telling her to limit her time with me in the short time room.

This had happened to me before at Mistys go go bar. I’m sure the waitress there really did like me, and again I was equally sure that Mamasan was telling her to hurry back to the bar as soon as we had finished. I know this because the first time the waitress and I had done a short time the waitress had all the time in the world, showing me pictures in the short time room, and talking endlessly about things I had long ago forgotten.  Then she had tried to get me to meet her outside the bar during Songkran but I had refused.

With Lek, who knows? But I could care less one way or the other. What was much more important was how well our body parts fitted together.  And how much I enjoy tasting her breasts.  I just love her trim little body. I also knew that nearly every man coming into her bar was paying 1500 to 2000 baht short time, minimum and that I was something special.  After all, I’m Uncle Bufford and the other guys simply ain’t me.

Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners and the Star A Go Go

After passing on Lek,  I wound up at Star a go go.  I know there’s a short time room upstairs so that’s perfect, but the girl who oftentimes drinks with me and rubs my dick tells me, “It’s closed. The police keep checking all the clubs.”

Which is true. A week ago the police had raided the Windmill and found an Englishman upstairs in the short time room with a girl. The guy wound up with his picture plastered all over the internet and the newspapers.  If he had a wife in England or a Thai steady girlfriend, this in my eyes was an unforgivable act. Meanwhile one of my two favorites on Soi Six had text messaged me that I could no longer boom boom her in the room upstairs in her bar.  Only on the outside, could we have sex, she had texted.

So I asked the Star a Go Go girl, “When your bar’s short time room is open, how much must I pay to boom you n this bar?”

“2000 baht for me. 1500 baht for the room,” the girl replied.

I decided right then not to ever come back to Star a Go Go. 3500 baht is a hundred American dollars, which is ridiculous for any Pattaya bar girl.  So I told her, “Well, maybe I get room somewhere and you can meet me on the outside and we never pay any Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners anything.

To which she agreed. I know I can get her for a thousand baht so long as I book her outside the bar But she reminds me a lot of one of my two favorite Soi Six girls.  But she’s getting a bit paunchy on account of all the alcohol she’s probably drinking as a bar girl.  The Soi Six girl has by far the better body.

Three nights ago in the Walking Street Go Go Bars

A few days later, four of us converge on Walking Street. Our first stop is at the Light House. The guys want to go there for the Eye Candy.  But no one in our group’s ever bar fined anyone there yet.  I go there for the “cheap happy hour prices”. Tonight two gin and tonics cost me 150 baht.  As usual, I’m bored here.  No one’s rubbing my balls yet.  But as long as I have two full drinks in front of me, I’m relatively happy.

Then it’s onto CH. I’m hoping Lek is going to show, but she’s nowhere in sight.  But the happy hour two for one drink prices are still on, so it’s another two gin and tonics.  I walk around the place looking for Lek.  The place is crowded and there’s nowhere to sit for four guys. Billy Bob and I sit in front of the hot tub where two girls are cavorting totally nude.  One of them keeps looking straight into my eyes.  Then I recognize her.   I fucked her. Not just once but several times, but gave up on her due to her becoming too chunky for my tastes.  There’s no improvement, however.

The waitresses finally are able to find seating for all four of us.  Billy Bob and I find spots at a small table across the room from the hot tub while BD (Big Dog) is being seated to our left at another small table next to me.  But Gerald has to sit clear across the room from us where he’s immediately set upon by one of the bar’s go go girls. After a few minutes the hot tub girl joins me. I buy her a drink as she seats herself in my lap and starts stroking my dick.

I quickly sms Lek on my cell phone: “I am here for you at your bar.” Other than getting my dick massaged and relaxing with my gin and tonics, I don’t want much to do with the gal on my lap. There’s no sign of Lek.  I had messaged her just in case she was somewhere in the go go bar and would make her appearance later. I didn’t want her to think I wanted the girl on my lap more than I wanted her.

“Lek, of course, really doesn’t give a shit about me.”  Well, maybe she would if I really went after her.  After all the prospect of enough money every month, and being able to quit dancing at the go go bar just might entice her to show a little affection (for my money) and some loyalty (again for my money, instead of someone else’s).

One of my neighbors had just moved a 19 year old go go girl in with him from Misty’s go go bar. He’s 65 so the age difference of 46 years is just about right. The 19 year old’s had one kid for 5 years now, so she must have gotten pregnant when she was 14.  Maybe she’s got 2 children.  I have no idea what he’s paying her each month, but I’ll be finding out, so yeah, if I want to have Lek, I can have Lek.  But I don’t want to have any of them.  I don’t need the baggage.  The bottom line is this.  Any woman limits a man’s freedom, and all women deteriorate physically.  I want to have any woman I want, and I want her in her prime.

Plus, I’m the kind of guy who really knows himself.  I know that the grass is always greener on the other side.  So it really does not matter what the girl I’m with is like.  There’s always something better, so I want no limitations on either my time or wallet.

Still–I wanta bang Lek in the worse way.

Our group moves on to Electric Blue. Billy Bob likes the place because the draft beers are just 45 baht here. The bar is very dark inside, which means he can grope a girl without hardly being seen since both his groping hand and her privates are both in the shadows.  I see nothing attractive here at all, and the place is chock full of cheap charlies all cashing in on those 45 baht beers.

Big Dog’s found someone to buy drinks for.  But Gerald’s all pissed off.  We don’t know why except he’s already leaving the bar to go home.  Or that’s what he’s telling us.  He’s probably going to meet other friends at another bar, or maybe he’s got a girl lined up to meet him back at his hotel.  But Big Dog’s not about to leave.  The girl who’s with him is kindof ugly, but that’s the kind of girls he likes. That’s why we calls him Big Dog because he will fuck anything.

Billy Bob and I head to the G-spot. The girl I had banged in the go go’s short time room upstairs is here. Amy’s got her hair dyed blonde, and she’s pretty drunk. I don’t realize just how bad off she is until I get her in the short time room later on.  Anyways, I bar fine her. Amy tells me that the club has closed the short time room upstairs on account of the police so I have to take her outside the bar to the short time place I usually use across from CH.

I want to walk ahead of Amy on account of my not wanting to be seen taking any girl to any short time room.  After all, I’ve got my appearances to keep up.  But Amy keeps hanging all over me as we walk down Walking Street.  Even worse, she keeps trying to take my arm or hold my hand.

But the G spot is controlled by one of those Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners who keeps raising his prices.  A few weeks ago Amy’s bar fine was 800 baht. Now it’s 900 baht.   I’m giving her only 1000 baht, however, same as I’m now giving Lek.

What I didn’t count on was Amy being an absolute goof ball.  When we take off our clothes in the short time room, I suddenly realize that she’s drunk too much and now she’s getting sick on me.  Several times she gets up from the bed to go to the toilet to throw up or to retch.  So I ask her how much she’s had to drink.   Amy admits to having just three drinks in the bar.   She also admits to drinking before coming to work.  So it’s not me. I know that Amy has always liked me.

A more likely reason is that Amy hates having to work in a go go bar. And that she hates having customers constantly groping her and her having to keep rubbing the dicks of all those customers she secretly despises.  And I have to say, “I don’t blame her.” So she probably got half way blitzed out of her mind before she even showed up at work.

It’s kind of like farmers hauling corn out of their grain bins and trucking it to the elevator.  Sometimes moisture accumulates in the corn and some of it spoils so bad that there’s no difference between it and shit.  So the farmer has to shovel all that spoiled corn out of his bins meanin he’s literally havin to shovel shit to keep makin his livin.

That’s the way I look at a lot of these bar girls.  They gotsa boom boom guys who are stupid, rotten, selfish bastards.  Most of them are fat hogs who never managed to get one woman in their home countries to ever be nice to them.   Most men who live in Pattaya are this way.  Yep….these bar girls have to keep shoveling shit into their pussies to make a livin and I can’t blame them for gettin sick now and then.

Next time I come in Walking Street, I’m going to be in Lek.  I’ve still got those friends of mine in town, and there’s no way that four guys can fully enjoy themselves on Soi Six.  That’s on account of the bars being too small to have more than one or two good-looking girls. There it’s good to hunt alone. So it looks like once again I’m going to have to put up with these Greedy Pattaya go go bar owners.

Non voting Americans are not true Americans

Non voting Americans are not true Americans.  If you are eligible to vote, and don’t, then you’d better be quiet.

The right to vote is not just a privilege.  It is a duty all American citizens need to perform.   The way I see it, Non voting Americans are not true Americans.   Let me be painfully blunt.  If you are American and eligible to vote in this next election, but fail to do so for any reason short of death or extreme disability, you are not worth a  tinkers damn.

cartoon about Non voting Americans believing anything
I created this cartoon before the 2012 election. Although Donald Trump kicked off the myth that Obama was not born in the U.S. the Republican Party embraced it along with other fables such as Obama is a secret Muslim and he’s the wrong kind of Christian.  Now I must ask, how in the hell can anyone be the wrong kind of Christian and a Muslim at the same time?  The Republican Party believes that Americans are so stupid that they will actually believe such tales. And as far as Falso News (Fox News) it is nothing other than a Nazi party type of propaganda machine pretending to be a legitimate news channel. You can do your homework about Fox News and if you do you will have to conclude that it is a Republican tool used to elect republican candidates. Or you can simply watch it for a few days and then ask yourself, “What percent of the time is Fox News relentlessly hammering away at its audience the following message..”Obama bad. Democrats are bad”?

I am living in Thailand full time as an American expat.  But I’m just blown away by the fact that four out of four of my American friends are not voting in this upcoming November election.  Their excuses run from “I’m no longer registered in the correct state” to “the lobbyists have so much power that my vote won’t count anyway” to “I don’t like the two choices the Democrats and Republicans are giving me.”

Well, I’ve already voted and I’m damn proud of it.  Sure, I had to make the effort of downloading the right application from the internet for my absentee ballot.  I even had to make sure that my printer’s ink cartridge had ink in it so I could print out the application.   Then I had to actually spend a horrific fifteen more minutes of my life filling the application out. I had to find an envelope that was buried deep in a desk drawer.  Then I had to drive my motorcycle to a postal outlet a mile up the street so I could mail in my request for an absentee  ballot.  I  had to wait two weeks for my absentee ballot to arrive by email.   Finally I had to  fill in the ballot, and drive my motorbike to the post office to send my ballot in.

But I don’t figure all that effort is too much of a hardship.  Not when I think of what our founding fathers had to go through to win American Independence from England.  Or the 600,000 Union and Confederate soldiers who died in the American Civil War fighting for what they believed in.  Or our fellow black citizens who used to have to sit in the back of the bus more than seventy-five years after the abolishment of slavery.

Okay, so you don’t like either Trump or Clinton.  Suppose you believe that Clinton is a very corrupt human being.   You think that Clinton is untrustworthy.  So you decide not to vote for her.  This leaves you with three choices.  1.  You vote for Trump, 2.  You vote for a third party, or 3.  Or you don’t vote at all.   If you choose 3, you are failing to exercise your right to vote.  By failing to do your duty, you have proven to be unworthy of all those patriots who sacrificed so much.

By failing to exercise your right to vote, you are truly not worthy of being called an American.   They were American patriots.  You are a wuss.  A wanker.  By failing to perform your civic duty, you deserve being ruled by a Hitler or a king who would deny you all the civil rights you presently enjoy and the respect you think you deserve as a human being.

Those who vote for a third party, will be throwing their votes away.   Either Trump or Clinton is going to win.  No third party candidate has a chance.  Not in this election.  Trump has alienated so many women, blacks and Hispanics , that there is no way that he can win this election.  Unless enough of these people he’s alienated fail to show up.

I’ve chosen to mention two very bad names that will  live forever in infamy.  Hitler and Nazi.  Now we all know that Hitler did a lot of lying to help him rise to the top.  But as a liar Hitler was half as bad as Trump who lies 75 % of the time.  And compared to Trump, Hitler at least appeared to be a pretty reasonable man for the first half of his political career.

By 1933 and when he became chancellor and a few years afterwards,  Hitler made a lot of sense, even to his future enemies.   He got Germany out of the  Great Depression by the mid 1930’s while it took the United States half way through World War II  to emerge  from the economic abyss.   He was able to reclaim nearly all the territory Germany lost after winding up on the losing side during World War I.   Hitler also created the mightiest military machine in Europe from the paltry 100,000 Army Germany was allowed to keep by the victorious Allied powers under the Treaty of Versailles.  As for the later part of his political career, there’s no question that Hitler lost it.  As for Trump, I don’t think he’s got it in him to achieve a single month’s greatness on any meaningful level.

not exercising your right to vote is a vote for Donald Trump
Admittedly I am no cartoonist. But I was so horrified by the long list of hapless Republican choices for President for the 2012 presidential election that I created the GOP cartoon strip. I’ve had very few people come to this cartoon strip. I wish a lot more would. But I’ve done my best There’s 26 cartoon strips in all, and I had a lot of fun doing each one. I figure I’ve done my patriotic duty as an American and the fact that I have very little skill as an artist does not take away from the fact that I’ve tried.

Trump doesn’t make sense to any thinking rationale person.

He’s a denier of  man made climate change.  This alone makes him an enemy of the entire human race.   And he’s a compulsive liar who cannot be trusted.  About anything.

For years he’s been claiming that our President Obama was not born in the United States.  I’ve seen Trump on television telling the world what a miserable student Obama was.  And yet, Obama graduated from Harvard Law School Magna Cum Laude as the first black president of the Harvard Law Review.  Hitler would never have stooped to making such  outrageous accusations.  Not because Hitler was a scrupulous and truthful man, but because he  knew that such lies were so obviously untrue.  Hitler was smart enough to know that he could never get away with it.

Trump gets away with practically everything.  He hasn’t paid any taxes for how many years now?  And he claims to be a true man of the people.  He promises to use his business acumen to successfully run this great country of ours.   He proudly brags about his successful business career as evidence of his wonderful business ability.

But Trumps declared bankruptcy how many times?

As a businessman he’s lost so much money that he doesn’t have to pay any taxes for twenty years.  There’s a long trail of business partners, employees and customers he’s cheated at every turn.   The Trump pigpen of “business success” is rank and smelly beyond belief.

It is  scary to think of such a scoundrel being given the chance to get us into World War III.

If Americans elect him to be president, and he doesn’t turn the world  into a nuclear wasteland, we can all be sure of one thing.

 Planet Earth will still  no longer be  fit to live on.

This Pathetic denier of man made climate change will do his best to halt all that clean energy that needs to be developed to stop mankind from destroying the planet.

Clinton brings a lot of baggage to this election.  True enough.  But it is equally true that she is a very able person who is  quite qualified to perform well as president.  Her character might seem to be dubious, but she’s obviously very intelligent.  And she’s rational.

So, in spite of of Trump being a totally disgusting, lying scumbag, you’re telling me you will still vote for the him?

At least you are man or woman enough to exercise your right to vote.   I’ll give you that.

By voting for Trump you will be enabling the destruction of our planet.    All those clean energy laws the present Obama administration has passed  would be continued under a Clinton  led government.  Under Trump they would fall by the wayside.  There would be horrific climate change, and the destruction of our environment would become unstoppable.   Just think, you can actually make this happen by failing to exercise your right to vote or voting for the unthinkable one.  Trump the Rump.

So who’s worse?  Non voting Americans or someone who’s so badly misinformed that he actually votes for Trump the Rump?

It’s obvious to anyone who’s got even a modicum of common sense that Trump’s a Rump.  A complete Ass this man certainly is.  But we should overlook the infirmities of the intellectually impaired.  Out of pity.

But to be among the Non voting Americans is to separate oneself from what what it means to be American.  Non voting Americans are rejecting the spirit of 1776 which motivated Americans to separate themselves from England.  Over thirty thousand Americans gave their lives to cast off the tyranny of the English crown.  But this was only a token sacrifice compared to the 600,000 Americans who died during the American Civil War in order to assert their political beliefs.   Those were true Americans who lived back then.

 

Time for a Guiness Naklua Surf Turf Restaurant

When Pattaya goes too far off the rails, it’s Time for a Guiness at the Naklua Surf Turf Restaurant

Time for Guiness Naklua Surf Turf Restaurant
Naklua Surf Turf Restaurant.  It is time for Guiness.  But a Sangria for the lady.

I don’t think there’s a better place in all of Thailand.  The restaurant’s just 150 yards from my condo.  But I am one lucky guy.  Naklua Surf Turf Restaurant is being rated here as the number one beach side  restaurant in all Pattaya.  And if you think I’ve cherry picked the Internet for a great review just because I love this place to death, think again.  And we’ve got the place call to ourselves.

It’s cool down at  Naklua Surf Turf Restaurant with the ocean breeze blowing.

I can walk just forty meters uphill from the restaurant and notice the difference in temperature.  The music’s tasteful.  There’s none of that Dah Dah noise that passes for music that you keep hearing down on Walking Street.  And there’s no cars or motorcycles trying to run me over.  Or polluting buses full of Chinese tourists.  Here the staff looks out for me and my friends so I usually am able to get one of the best tables.  The beer on draft is Singha and it’s good and cold.  We normally get it in pitchers so there’s no waiting for the next round.  But for some reason I keep going back to drinking the Guiness usually getting it in the large size bottles.

Tonight, am I here for the beer or is it because I”m testing my new Nikon D-750 camera?

I’ve got my tripod in hand, and I’m using the Sigma 50 mm F 1.4 lens.  It’s going to really blur my backgrounds if I set the aperture for 1.4, but I also want to test its video capabilities.  Unlike my trusty little Panasonic LX-7, shooting video with it is very tricky.  I have to set the camera just right and I don’t know just how to set it to do the best video yet.

This is absolutely my number one place to practice shooting video with my Nikon 750 and Panasonic LX 10 cameras (which just replaced my Panasonic LX7)  .  We spent New Year’s Eve here as I shot this video.    I keep getting better and every time I try, at least I have the Guiness to fall back on.

Best Pattaya Camera shop

The Best Pattaya Camera Shop is one I can recommend to both professional photographers and amateurs.  Recently I bought a tripod, a Nikon D750 SLR,  then a 50 mm Sigma F1.4 lens.  I will explain my experiences with the Best Camera Shop below in detail.

 What is important is

1.  This shop is run by the owner, and it’s a one man operation.  This means you are always dealing with the top man.  2.  The Best Pattaya Camera Shop owner is from Bangkok where he was a professional photographer for 15 years.  What does this mean to you?  It means you are always dealing with a man who has a thorough knowledge of everything he sells.  From cameras, to lenses, flashes, camera bags, tripods, and just about every important camera accessory you can think of.  3.  The owner of this shop is, in my opinion a man of integrity.  This is a rare commodity in Pattaya these days.  4.  He has excellent English skills.

Best Pattaya Camera Shop and Powerbuy
Pattaya Best Camera Shop is located on the 2nd or 3rd floor of Tukcom. Which floor I’m not sure. It’s to the right in this picture with Powerbuy straight down from it.

My association with the Best Pattaya Camera Shop didn’t really start with the tripod.

 A tripod’s only a tripod after all.  I will have to say, however, that I went to several camera shops in the tuk.com building before I decided on the tripod from the Best Pattaya Camera Shop.  So  I must have felt I was getting the best features and quality at a reasonable price.   But it was when I handed my credit card over to the  shop owner that I became convinced  I had found a professional photography shop that was well above the norm for this part of the world.  I had looked at a Nikon D610 SLR in Hong Kong several years ago and had decided that it was a worthy successor to my Nikon D300.

I still felt well-equipped with the Nikon D300 and its 18 by 200 mm lens.  Since the D300 has a DX sensor, this DX lens is effectively  a 28 by 300 which makes it an exceptionally versatile combination from wide angle to heavy duty telephoto.

But I still had two extremely high priced lenses in my arsenal

and those lenses were simply not getting the use they deserved.  I had shot over 100,000 pictures in the U.S. with my 28 by 70 mm 2.8 Nikon and had liked it so much that I had bought its sister lens, a 17 by 35 mm 2.8, which was reputedly the finest wide angle lens that Nikon had ever produced.    But, on the Nikon DX 300 body the two lenses performed at 41 by 105 mm and 27 by 52 mm respectively.  Other than what amounted to somewhat superior optics the wide angle Nikon provided no advantage to the 18 by 200 lens I was already using on my Nikon D300.

And as to the Nikon 28 by 70 mm 2.8 zoom lens the same 1.5 multiplier effect allowed this lens to operate at only 42 mm for its widest angle.  So I was not getting optimum wide angle results with either lens due to the limitations imposed on them by the DX sensor on the Nikon D300 camera body.

Best Pattaya Camera shop
Best Pattaya Camera might be small but as I can see it’s loaded with a lot of professional level photography equipment. For example these umbrellas are used by photography professionals to shoot portraits.

Together those two lenses would cost close to $4000

if I had to replace them and here they were hardly getting any use.  But no one in the Hong Kong camera shops was able to convince me to switch over to a Nikon D610 camera body with the full frame sensor that would bring out the best of my extremely expensive Nikon lenses.  But when I brought my Nikon D300 into the Best Pattaya camera shop, the shop owner had me filling out the credit card form in no time at all.  Essential to his success was that he allowed me to try my Nikon 2.8 wide angle lens on a Nikon D750 full frame body.  For the first time I was truly able to see my expensive 17 by 35 mm Nikon wide angle lens perform in the way it was designed to perform.  The field of view I was getting was phenomenal.

Once I got my new Nikon 750 home and started trying it out,

I noticed that the automatic focusing of my 28 by 70 mm Nikon 2.8 had become next to useless. My Nikon 300 would still perform wonderfully at anywhere from 28 to 300 mm but due to my now emasculated 28 by 70 mm top of the line Nikon lens I’d be  stuck with only a 17 by 35 mm lens for my new Nikon D 750 full frame camera.  Should I buy another $2000 lens?  I had already had Nikon repair the 28 by 70 lens once and that repair cost me almost $1000.

So back I went to the Pattaya Best Camera Shop.  I wound up spending about $350 for a new Sigma 1.4 50 mm lens.

Had it not been for the owner of the Pattaya Best Camera shop,  I probably would never have bought a Sigma lens in the first place .

I would have bought a Nikon, but the shop owner convinced me that the Sigma lens was ever better than its Nikon counterpart.

I took this lens home with me and started to take low light pictures down on the beach.  That’s when I realized this shop owner certainly knew his cameras and lenses.  The Sigma had excellent low light capabilities, was very sharp, and it did a fantastic job of blurring the background  shooting wide open.

Best Pattaya Camera camera accessories

But what should I do with the Nikon 28 by 70 lens?

For a few nights I pondered my choices.  I could send it back to Nikon for repair as I had once before.  But the thought of once again paying close to $1000 for the same lens was not very appealing.  I buy a 1.4 Nikon 85 mm  prime lens which was getting outstanding reviews.  Or I could go for the new lens that had replaced it in the Nikon stable –the Nikon 24 by 70  2.8.  But I pretty much decided to wait until I traveled back to the U.S.  By this time I’d have over $500 worth in points on my credit card which I could apply at Amazon on a new lens.

But I went back to the Best Pattaya Camera shop.  The shop owner took the 28 by 70 mm lens off my Nikon 750.  After studying it closely he said to me, “All you need to do is to have this lens cleaned.”

“Cleaned?  Why I hardly used it since sending it to Bangkok Nikon for that very expensive repair.

“Are you sure that’s all there is to this problem?” I asked the shop owner.

“I am  sure,” he promised me.

“How much will that cost me?”

“Around 2000 baht.”

The first time I had to send this lens to Nikon for repair,  I had to package it myself and take it down to the Post office.

This time the shop owner did all the work for me.  Two weeks later I came back to the shop to see if the  2000 baht repair had been successful.

The lens now focused perfectly.

After I explained to the shop owner that I wouldn’t be doing a lot of telephoto work with my cameras, he told me, “Those two Nikon 2.8 lenses should last you for the rest of your life. They are the finest lenses made.  You don’t really need any new lenses.”

I’m keeping my Nikon D300 DX.  It feels identical in hand to my new Nikon D750.

I have the original 18 by 200 kit lens attached to it.  And I have a great trio of lenses for my D750 with the two very expensive Nikon zoom lenses and that very appealing 1.4 Sigma Prime lens.   I also have the Panasonic LX7 for a lightweight carry camera.  So I feel very well equipped now.

So what else do I need from the Best Pattaya Camera  camera shop?

 The owner of Best Pattaya Camera is absolutely first rate.

He’s fair, he really knows his stuff, and he’s a one man operation so one will always be getting the top man to take care of one’s photography needs.

I am not alone in my assessment of the excellence of the Best Pattaya Camera Shop and how good this shop owner takes care of his customers.  Consider the following comments from Thai Visa.

 

 

 

 

 

The Soi Six Go Go Bar Walking Street Connection

One should never pay too much for Walking Street go go girls. One reason is the Soi Six Go Go Bar Walking Street Connection.

Uncle Bufford talks about Soi Six Go Go Bar
It’s me. Uncle Bufford Again.

Lately, all of U’s will have noticed that I’ve made my strong preferences for Soi Six bars

well known on account of cheaper beers, built in 300 baht short time rooms, and cheaper and better wimmen. But tonight kinda rekindled my passion for Pattaya Go Go bars.

It all started out with me and Billy Bob going to the Crazy House Go Go first. This was because we both admitted most of the time we had the most fun there. Maybe it was because Crazy House has the same toilet for the wimmen and the men and the toilet is often a wonderful place for meeting a lot of sexy wimmen.

Cum to think of it that toilet there is so good that I sometimes am taking a piss, when a girl comes up behind me and starts giving me a massage. There’s also the exciting possibility that if a man buys a go go dancer enough tequila that he can take her back into one of those toilet stalls for a short time. Anyways if a girl isn’t a coyote, the bar fines 800 baht. Now that ain’t good but it’s a damn sight better than these other places all a chargin 1500 baht for them coyotes. Never mind my sidekick here, Billy Bob, who always seems to get the most rotten luck in the world. Even at Crazy House he seems to keep attractin them coyotes with large bar fines.

As soon as we walk into Crazy House, I knows my Dick is in for trouble.

It’s that girl who was a wearing them glasses the last time. I see her sitting by herself as soon as I come into the place and she sees me too. So as soon as me and Billy Bob sit down she’s on me like a hyena onto something that’s already been killed. Pretty soon she’s on me, with those hypnotic eyes of hers.  Her hands are all over my body. She unbuttons my shirt. She feels between my legs where my bigger brain lurks. It becomes bigger and bigger as it starts to take control of whatever resolution I first brought into the place.

Pretty soon, Billy Bob’s got a girl on him trying to milk him for drinks. He doesn’t look too happy so I tell him that as soon as we finish our drinks we should go to the next place. The girl tells me, “I really like you.” A few moments she tells me, “I want you now.” In a moment of weakness I promise to come back (for her) after hitting several more go go’s with Billy Bob, and she says to me, “Okay, I wait for you.”

I figure she will. After all, I’m Uncle Bufford and there’s nobody in Pattaya who’s like me.

I’ve got them kind of eyes that tell a woman, “Trust me”.

I’ve also got a made by Viagra big dick. But unlike all those Japanese who keep cummin into these go go’s I’m not afraid to let all the girls play with it. I’ve got a great body too. It’s one that’s gotta put all their Thai boyfriends to shame. I’m on top of the world and I knows the wimmin can see that.

We gets only  a few feet down Walking Street from Crazy House when suddenly a girl runs right up to me, callin out my name. I takes one look at her, and I’m a thinkin, “She’s gotta be some girl I met workin a job somewhere. Maybe it was Home Pro or Power Buy, Seven-Eleven or Lotus. She sure don’t look like no bar girl.  She’s got too wholesome a face to be a workin at a bar. She’s cute.

“I work over there,” she tells me. Come see me.” She’s pointin at a small go go bar called Infinity. “New bar,” she says.

I promise to see her soon, but we gotta go to another place first.

Next go go is Super Girls. And sure enough they’ve got all that horrible DA DA music going in there again.

Let me check my notes. Yep. First song’s DA DA. I got it all written here. Second song’s DA DA too. And the third and the fourth. I must have gotten tired of writing. But a lot of these wimmen are smiling at us, especially from the stage. Across the stage is Billy Bob’s friend. She’s one of the prettiest girls in the place, and she looks a lot like my favorite Soi Six girl. But if you get them lying down naked next to each other, I’m a bettin my Soi Six girl wins. She’s got the golden pussy too. The kind of pussy that men dies for.

With that kind of knowledge in my small brain, I am ready for anything. There’s a girl dancing in front of us pointing to her friend as she smiles down at us. Her friend’s got big tits. A nice body too. I tell Billy Bob, “I’m buying that one with those silicon breasts a drink. I won’t be bar fining her though. On account of my promise to the girl back at Crazy House. And that girl we met back in the street who knows me. “Man, now where do I know her from?”

Now how much do I like Big Tits Anyway?

Are they really worth 3000 baht short time with them for me?

Suddenly it comes back to me. She’s the one I met down at that Soi Six go go bar. I even took her upstairs once. That stupid owner was a chargin 120 baht for a beer and 500 baht for his short time rooms. Poor girl. And she was really nice. But I had told her every other Soi Six Bar was only a chargin 300 baht for its rooms and I really couldn’t bring myself to payin 500 baht just because a stupid Australian thought customers were stupid enough to pay him 500 baht just because he had a Soi Six Go Go Bar.

I was going to pay this girl 1000 baht. But I told her since her big boss was so greedy, I was a willin to give her 800 baht. She agreed so I took her upstairs, and guess what? That short time room was just as bad as the worse short time rooms on Soi Six.

And then–just a few weeks ago, I was a drinkin with that same girl down on Soi Six. I had come into that place in a rotten mood, but she remembered me, came up to me as I sat alone at the bar. So I bought her a drink and pretty soon we were huggin each other and I just felt good all over.

She just felt so right. And she wasn’t pushy and she never ever asked me for a drink in the first place.

I had even showed her my Uncle Bufford go go bar review notes and said that she would probably be my most memorable girl of the night. She would have been except later on I met the girl with the hypnotic eyes in Crazy House, had bar fined her, and that had been that. And here once again, I’d be passin on that Soi Six girl for that seductress from Crazy House.

I tell Billy Bob about the Soi Six girl. Then I make him a bet.

“I bet that within the next two months that I’ll be short timing one of these go go girls for 1000 baht.  It might be the ”Soi Six Go Go Bar girl but it could easily be anyone of these girls we are lookin at right now.”

Billy Bob says nothing. He knows I can do it.

Then I smile at the girl with the big tits and motion to her like I’m drinking and point to her. Then I tell Billy Bob, “I’m buying her a drink, and then the next time we comes in here, I’m buying another girl a drink so that each time I’m getting a girl a drink. This way I can meet a lot of girls and get a good idea of what this place is all about. Then I’ll wait until low season hits and most of these girls aren’t makin any money. That’s when I git them for a thousand baht.

The easiest way is for me to bang the ex Soi Six Go Go Bar girl for a thousand baht.

I already short timed her for 800 baht at the  Soi Six Go Go Bar.  When the other girls know I’m doing her for 1000 baht, I’ll have it made in that new go go bar.”

In five minutes the girl with the big tits is sittin beside me. I ask her how old she is, but I can’t remember that now, but I seems to recall she was only twenty-one. My next question is, “Where did you buy those big tits?” From Bangkok?”

She says yes.

I thought of Bangkok first because I remembers how this old girlfriend of mine had

taken me to a big clinic where they make tits and vaginas for lady boys who want to replace their dicks with pussies.

My girlfriend had been shopping for a new nose. She bought one too. But she got her new nose later courtesy of her new boyfriend who was a fat German who had to get special shocks on his motorcycle because he was too gargantuous for its little frame.

“Want to feel them?” the girl asks me as she cups a small hand around one of her nipples.

I feel one of them gently. But I feel it just a little bit because I don’t want her or the other girls to think I’m a dirty old man.

After I ask her a few more questions I tell her “Not tonight, but later someday”, in my horrible Thai (My Shy Yenee. Tilang Kap). “How much boom boom you?”

I’ve got my Uncle Bufford notepad in front of us on the bar. My pen too, so she takes my pen and writes down 800 baht as she explains “that’s for the bar fine.” She asks, “For short time?”

I tell her, “Yes.  Short time.”

I like that girl from the Soi Six Go Go Bar
Now, how much do I really like Big Tits? Are they really worth 3000 baht to have a short time with them?

Then she writes down 3000 baht.

The girl with the golden tits. That’s what I’m calling her from this point on.

Needless to say, I’ve got 1000 baht on my mind. I’ve already promised the girl with the hypnotic eyes and I sure as hell am going to be back a lookin for that ex Soi Six go-go girl before I even get back to Crazy House.

The girl with the big tits goes back to the stage, Billy Bob and I check bin, and then we walk out of the place.

“I gotta go home now,” says Billy Bob. “I am sure you are going to get well taken care of down at Infinity Go Go.”

Infinity Go Go is a pretty weird place.

There’s a long stage running down the entire room which is long and kindof narrow. On both sides of that stage there’s a long row of small tables and padded bench style couch. There’s very few customers here but most of them are sittin on the left side of the stage while most of the girls are all sittin together all along the right side. All of these people are facing each other across the stage like it’s some kindof dating game where the men are too afraid to approach the wimmen and the wimmin are equally scared to be coming up to the men.

My girl is sitting on the right side about half way down. I notice her straight off because she’s smiling at me. A waitress sandwiches me between the girl and two other girls who have been sitting with her. The other two girls end up sitting to my immediate left.

Once again, they’ve got that awful DA DA music going again. Must be a sign of the times.

Times in which the people are more stupid than they’ve ever been before and in which hardly anyone ever reads a book. It’s a time when most people have to find their own little worlds in Face book and practically everyone’s got these little smart phones. It is a time when people don’t have cameras anymore. They are all using smart phones and Ipads because they are too lazy to be a learning how to use anything else. It is a time for mediocrity and a time for morons.

I make it very clear to the girl that I cannot bar fine her tonight. She keeps asking me where I am going, and I tell her I’m going somewhere else down the street. Then she asks me, “When you go back to America.” I tell her in a few months, and then she starts to pretend to cry.

I’m drinking beer as usual. She’s having something with whisky in it. Unlike most lady drinks, it’s got a lot of real alcohol in it. She takes her time with it, and I don’t buy her another until she’s already been nursing it for a half an hour. Obviously she’s no coyote. She’s a lot of fun too.

She has me hold her hands so that I can read her fortune.

I vaguely remember doing this with her down at the Soi Six Go Go Bar. From time to time she puts her hand on my crotch, furtively, shyly, and not at all like the girl with the hungry eyes. She massages my arms and plays with my hands. We are having a good time.

I ask her, “Why you finish that Soi Six Go Go Bar?”

“I have problem with Big Boss,” she tells me.

“That Soi Six Go Go Bar you worked at will not last long.  Every other bar on Soi Six charges 85 to 90 baht a beer.  But he charges 120 baht.  Every other Soi Six Bar charges 300 baht for a short time room.  He charges 500 baht for a shitty room.  He does not know how to manage a bar.”

I think she’s one of those “What you see is what you get”  kind of people

The beer costs 135 baht here, which is a little cheaper than most of the other Walking Street go go bars. When I ask her what her bar fine is she tells me, “I don’t know. The place is new.”

Meanwhile I’m also talking to the two girls sitting to my left. My girl has to get up on the stage to dance. So I ask them what the bar fine is. They don’t know either. So they motion another girl over to us. She doesn’t even know but she goes to the other end of the stage to find someone who does. She comes back. For a while she sits next to me as one of the girls I had been talking with has to take her turn on the stage. “1100 baht,” she tells me.

I’m making it clear to all the girls around me that my girl and I are good friends, and that we have known each other for a long time. But I never mention Soi Six to any of them. That’s up to the girl and if she wants to keep that a secret, I will honor her wanting to be quiet about her past employment down on Soi Six.

“Hym. 1100 baht bar fine? Those greedy bastard bar owners.”

I’ll be making her a deal for 1000 baht.  Just not sure when.  One thing’s almost for sure.  She’s not going to be playing a lot of those stupid Walking Street Go Go bar girl games most of them play. I stay here far too long.

It’s gettin kind of late and I need to be back a collectin that girl with the hypnotic eyes.  In the meantime for all of you readin these pearls of wisdom, there really is a Soi Six Go Go Bar connection.  I distinctly remember the go go dancer from Heaven Above working down on Soi Six later on where the price no doubt went immediately down from 2000 baht short time to 1000 baht or even lower.

Then there were the two pretty girls Billy Bob and I met in a Soi Six bar who had been working the Walking Street go go bars but were unable to make much money there.

And I’ll never forget one of my old time favorites who had tried working at Baccarat, but  gone back to her old Soi Six bar after not making enough money at Baccharat.

 To top it off, there was that really tall girl from Crazy House I had once paid too much for,

and then I wound up buying her a drink at that Soi Six Go Go Bar a few weeks later.   I thought she was pretty hot, but I never bar fined her again even if her price no doubt went way down.  That other girl with the golden pussy from another Soi Six Bar was simply too much competition.   My point is these were all the same girls. The only things that had changed was the price and the packaging.

Pattaya Police stopping sober drivers for drinking

Pattaya Police stopping sober drivers will certainly drive foreigners from Thailand.

Pattaya Police stopping sober drivers but they allow assault and battery of motorcyclists during Songkran
Songkran is just one example of why Thailand rates having the world’s 2nd most dangerous roads

Pattaya Police are now stopping drunk drivers .  But they are also stopping moderate drinkers.  They are doing this in the interest of public safety.   But In my opinion public safety is of no importance whatsoever to the police.  Money is their Holy Grail.

In 14 years, I’ve never seen the police stop a driver for running a red light or driving the wrong way.

And I mean,  not once.   Small wonder that Thailand  tops every country but 1 number  out of 200 countries  for having the world’s most lethal roads.  The reason is enforcing traffic laws to make the streets safe  doesn’t make money in a country where money is number one.

Songkran motorbike driver assaulted by water gun
A crowd of Imbeciles assaults a motorcyclist. . Many motorbike drivers die because of such assaults during Songkran

If you don’t believe me just come to Pattaya during Songkran and watch all the motorbike drivers getting assaulted by high powered water guns while the police watch.

But Pattaya Police stopping sober drivers? Or even moderate drinkers?   This is going to  kill the goose that has laid the golden egg.   Pattaya is Fun City.  It is a place to get hammered and to party all night long.  People do not come here for the cleanliness of its beaches.  And they don’t come here for the quality of its sidewalks.  Because there are hardly any to be found.

Nothing will change here.   Pedestrians wanting to cross the streets will still be scurrying across like a bunch of scared rats.  Visitors will still be walking down the streets dodging cars because there’s hardly any sidewalks in the entire city.   Thailand’s road’s will still be the 2nd most dangerous in the entire world.  Because the police care only about money.  While refusing to enforce the traffic laws or to punish bad drivers.

Related articles:  The Honda 250 CBR Broken Collar Bone Review

Pattaya Police give JB the Pattaya Breathalyzer Test

 

Should I give Red Baron movie10 stars?

Rotten Tomatoes gives the Red Baron a 20 % tomato meter score with an audience approval of 43 %. I give this German movie 9.5 stars out of ten.

Fokker Tri Plane
The Fokker Tri plane similar to those both von Richthofen and Werner von Voss used in their last flights. Alhough slow, the Fokker Tri Plane climbed like a monkey while possessing terrific handling.

The beginning is riveting. The end is simply a masterpiece.  After seeing the beginning of the movie I lost the scent.

The Red Baron’s about World War I German pilots

so when it occurs to me that the actors are speaking with a British accent, I put the movie on pause and went to the Rotten Tomatoes reviews to check them out.

A 20 % tomato rating based on the scores from 25 reviews is horrible. But the fact that only 43 percent of all viewers liked the movie means I just might like it. This is because

I’m an old guy with old fashioned values who’s  totally out of sync with the modern generation,

which I find to be spoiled, lazy, and fat from eating too much junk food. So I decided to get back to the movie and continue watching it for the time being. The chief reason for my giving this movie a chance was I have always been completely fascinated by World War I fighter aircraft.  I was even more fascinated by Baron Manfred Von Richthofen, the World War I ace of aces, who was responsible for shooting down 80 Allied Aircraft.  In his time the Red Baron was the best of the best, a man who would become the most legendary pilot of all time.

Erich Hartmann topped Red Baron with 352 victories
Erich Hartmann, the best scoring ace of all time shot down 352 enemy planes during WWII

And if you don’t believe that consider this. Another German pilot, Erich Hartman would become the top scoring ace of World War II after shooting down 352 Allied aircraft.  But whose name do you see on one of the most popular pizzas sold in America?  Red Baron.

Well, I was wrong. About the only actor in the Red Baron who’s English is Joseph Fiennes.

Then the movie takes a turn to the usual love plot that destroys far too many war movies. It’s about then that I realized that nearly all the actors are German and that this movie is a German production. So what am I getting here–a German version of “Pearl Harbor” which is 5 % about the bombing of Pearl harbor and 95 % about a love affair that never even happened.  And even if it did, who cares? But in spite of this, I keep watching the movie which keeps getting better all the time. The action video of World War I aerial combat is fabulous while the depictions of the fighter aircraft are absolutely stunning.

The Red Baron hooked me before I got 50 % into the movie

There might be a love affair in the movie, but so what? This is a great war movie that bears no resemblance to “Pearl Harbor”. As to the love object of the movie, I not only care less if she might have existed only as a nurse who treated the Baron for a head wound, who never got past the usual patient-nurse relationship–I prefer to keep her in this movie even if the real Kate was more myth than reality.

I think Kate, is a conveyance that the producers skillfully employed to bring out the humanity of the real Baron, a hero of epic proportions whose humanity and charisma is hidden by the passage of 100 years of time.  Not to mention the very primitive black and white photography and video of the time. And as I’ve already indicated, the ending to this movie is an absolute masterpiece. Without Kate, this particular ending would be impossible. But the invention of Kate is nevertheless a historical inaccuracy which many of the Red Baron’s detractors claim is unacceptable. But to produce a true artistic masterpiece which is what I think this movie is, I find this Historical inaccuracy to be necessary to give this movie the power it conveys. It is likely to bring many viewers to tears.

How about another complete Historical inaccuracy?

So far as I know, the Baron never met Captain Roy Brown, an English pilot who will later be credited with shooting down the Baron. The truth is the Baron is likely to have  been killed by Australian  ground fire although the British pilot would be given the credit to boost morale. But early on the Baron shoots Captain Roy Brown’s plane down. (which never happened). But a short time after landing his airplane at the German fighter base, Richthofen and several of his German fighter pilot buddies immediately leave the base to inspect the fallen British aircraft which has crashed only a few miles away.

The German pilots save the Englishman’s life when they pull him out of the crashed plane and promptly get him medical care. This never happened either (to Captain Brown) and  later in the film when Richthofen meets Captain Roy Brown again and the pair become fast friend, well that never happened either. At first the complete historical inaccuracies over the Red Baron–Captain Brown relationship really upset me, but after viewing the entire film I realized that the invention of Roy Brown’s coming face to face with the Baron on such occasions was being used like the invention of Kate, as a tool to express the true kinship that actually existed between the German pilots and their English foes that made the pilots of both sides truly worthy of being called “the knights of the air”.

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But here’s my favorite Historical inaccuracy of them all. A short time before his death, Werner Von Voss is explaining to the baron that his plane is his entire life. He’s doing something very special to his plane, he tells the Baron.

So who exactly is Werner von Voss, you might ask?

Werner von Voss was second only to the Red Baron with 48 victories. He’s also quite possibly was the greatest German airman who ever lived, perhaps even greater than the Baron himself. But who’s to say who was the greatest of the great? If there is any truth at all to all those old Viking legends about a Valhalla, one can be sure that both men would be living there today as two of the greatest warriors of all time. So how good was Voss? For one thing he was a terrific mechanic who doted on his plane day and night. And as a true knight of the air–Voss was unsurpassed in both skill and bravery.

They don’t show it in the film and some of the movie’s critics fault the movie for not showing the death of Werner von Voss. On his last flight he’s flying a Folker Dr 1. (Richthofen himself would die in a Folker Dr 1 a few months later.)

The Folker Dr 1 is the famous tri plane that the Red Baron would paint blood red.

The plane had a terrific rate of climb and wondrous handling, but it could do only 103 miles an hour.

But on his last day of life, Werner von Voss found himself in combat with 7 British pilots flying SE-5 biplanes that would do 130 miles an hour. All 7 of the British pilots were aces credited with at least 5 victories each. Yet Voss took all 7 of them on, and more than held his own for over ten minutes.

Voss damaged at  two of the enemy aircraft enough to make them crash land.  While his machine guns holed every single one of his foes.  Several of the English pilots would later say that on numerous occasions Voss could have escaped to fight another day by using his superior rate of climb to break off from the British fighters. Instead, he fought on until his opponents shot him down. But during those ten minutes he put on a dazzling display of turning and twisting his aircraft in a series of impossible maneuvers such as the British aces never saw before or would ever see again.

SE-5 fighter plane
Much faster at 130 mph to the tri plane’s 103 mph top end in most respects the SE-5 was superior to the Fokker DR-1 tri plane. But not in the hands of a master such as Werner von Voss.

As two of the victorious English aces later reported. (Arthur Rys-Davids would shoot down 25 German planes while McCudden would shoot down 57 German aircraft).

The two British aces said this about Werner von Voss after shooting him down

“As long as I live I shall never forget my admiration for that German pilot, who single-handed fought seven of us for ten minutes and also put some bullets through all our machines. His flying was wonderful, his courage magnificent, and in my opinion he was the bravest German airman whom it has been my privilege to see.” James McCudden

“If I could only have brought him down alive…” Arthur Rhys-Davids to James McCudden

The Red Baron could have shown the last legendary flight of Werner von Voss.

Instead, it shows the Baron hearing about it from a British communication complaining about a German pilot the British  shot down who had stolen a British Bentley engine which he had then stuffed into his Fokker Tri plane. At that moment the Baron knew that the German pilot  could only have been Werner von Voss.

But of course the real Werner von Voss never put a Rolls Royce engine into his German fighter. But the way the incident was played off, as untruthful as it was–it was a terrific convention to show just what kind of man Werner von Voss was.  Voss was a man who wan so devoted to his airplane and so dedicated to his craft that no one else could touch him. This was a man who was forever tinkering in an endless search for perfection and whose flying skills were so awesome that it took 7 British aces 10 minutes to kill him.  Werner von Voss was a hero for all time.

Red Baron Manfred von Richthofen at 25
Red Baron Manfred von Richthofen was only 25 when he was killed.

No doubt the Baron’s grief reached the lowest ebb it had ever been with the death of his friend, mentor and rival, Werner von Voss. And I think that in spite of my wanting to see the immortal combat death scene of von Voss, the little lie of the Bentley engine in a German fighter served as an even more powerful tool for convincing the audience how great Voss really was along with the very powerful bond between the two German aces.

And this now brings us to the final scene of the Red Baron. Like a Wagnerian opera

the 2nd half of the Red Baron slowly shows the tragedy that is about to unfold. One by one nearly all of the Baron’s comrades are killed. He sees his own end approaching, and yet, he’s unable to do anything about it. And this is where the historical unfact of the nurse who loved him comes in.

The film focuses upon Richthofen’s final hours. You know the man’s going to die, and by now you thoroughly like him. He’s fun. He’s capable of loving a woman to the utmost. He is a wonderful friend to have. To his enemies he’s a chivalrous man without equal. Finally you see him fly away through his lover’s eyes never to return.

The last scene of the Red Baron has Captain Roy Brown escorting Kate to Richthofen’s grave

two weeks later.  British air force pilots placed flowers on the Red Baron’s grave.  They then placed two white ribbons across the flowers that read, “To our Friend and Enemy, Manfred von Richthofen.” This ending scene recalls the beginning of the movie when the Baron, Werner von Voss and their pals disobey orders from their superior by flying over an English funeral to throw a similar bouquet of flowers and note on the grave of a British airman they had shot down. As for the third appearance of Captain Roy Brown, one must remember that he’s the man combating the Baron when the Baron gets shot down. Once again he symbolizes the chivalry, and mutual respect for their adversaries that the British and German fighter pilots shared along with the great dangers they shared.

The death of Richthofen was of course the stuff of legends.

No one knows for sure whether one of Captain Roy Brown’s bullets killed the Red Baron or whether the Australian infantry shot him with a machine gun.  But it’s far more likely that machine gun from the ground  shot him down.  Or perhaps even from an infantryman’s rifle. But that’s not the point. A single .303 bullet entered his chest severely damaging his heart and lungs. But in spite of it, he manages to land his aircraft practically undamaged before dying in the cockpit muttering “I’m kaput” to the first ground troops to get to his plane.   Like Voss’s, his death was worthy of a Wagnerian opera.

The movie’s not quite perfect which is why I give it 9.5 stars out of 10. The historical inaccuracies are marvelous conveyances that put a new spin on both the Baron and Werner von Voss. The acting is superb. Matthias Schweighoffer plays a completely likable and believable Manfred von Richthofen. Both the beginning and end of the movie are unforgettable. And now that I’ve seen it I want to find out a lot more about both the Red Baron and Werner von Voss.

Thailands Killer Buses

 

Thailands Killer Buses at Pattaya Dophin Circle
After writing this article I walked down to Dolphin Circle where I only had to wait five minutes to get a picture of a car nearly running down two pedestrians in the cross walk.  A few days before a tour bus nearly killed a friend and me by  running through the same cross walk when the sign signaled for us TO WALK

Thailands Killer Buses and the explosion of Chinese tourists are  terrorizing the country’s residents

and devastating Thailand’s infrastructure  with no end in sight.  Let me give you a few keywords and phrases for why this terrible state of affairs is unlikely to change such as:

Chinese tourists, greed, police incompetence, money number one, fearless leaders of Chinese tour groups, Thailands Killer Buses

Here in Thailand tour buses are completely out of control.   And the number of rampaging tour buses is exploding along with the numbers of Chinese tourists who ride them.  In Thailand’s cities, notably Pattaya where I happen to live most of the streets are too narrow to accommodate them while the cities planners never created enough parking for the 1.3 billion wanna bee Chinese tourists who want to come here.  Traffic problems are getting to be horrendous due to the vast increase in tour buses and the total incompetence and greed of government officials and police.

So just how deadly have these tour buses become?

Just two examples should be enough to give you the real picture of Thailands Killer Buses :

pedestrian walk signal
We get the go ahead that it’s safe to walk.  But the cars keep coming.  We  must dart around like rats in the pedestrian cross walk.

Last week, a friend and I were crossing North Pattaya Road on the Best Supermarket (East) side of Naklua Road.  There’s a traffic light here where motorized vehicles need to stop when the light turns red.  There’s also a cross walk for pedestrians and a pedestrian walk/don’t walk light.   So my friend and I walking in the cross walk with the pedestrian sign giving us the “Walk” go ahead.  But are we  crossing the street in safety?

No way.  In seconds we become rats darting between the speeding cars running the red light.  Suddenly a tour bus speeds through the light,  and around the corner.  We freeze in the middle of the intersection hoping that the morons driving Thailands Killer Buses will spare our lives.  Our insides turn to quivering jelly.

Pedestrian crossing of North Pattaya RoadTwo days later we are once again crossing North Pattaya Road at the same pedestrian cross walk.

And sure enough, we find ourselves pathetically dodging all those cars again.  Luckily we emerge unscathed on the other side of North Pattaya Road where Naklua Road suddenly becomes Second Road.  But this time there’s a police officer just thirty meters away from us on the other side of Second Road.  The authorities have stationed policeman here for one purpose alone.  Which is to to stop motorcyclists who are not wearing their helmets or other “victimless crimes”.    Such as having a license plate that is 2 days out of date.  But is he doing anything about all the out of control motorists across the street?  No way.

traffic light Pattaya
Pattaya’s city planners would have been better off not putting in such lights in the first place. The same thing goes for the cross walks down on Beach Road. What they fail to  comprehend is that neither the law or the authorities respect human life.

My second example is the death of a friend who died a few months ago from his injuries after a tour bus mowed him down.

(note that I did not use the phrase Thailands Killer Buses here).  The man was driving his motorcycle to the Tiger Zoo in Sriracha with his son sitting behind him.  I wasn’t there  And I never had the chance to talk to him about it later.   But a very good friend of mine back in the United States who was a very good friend of the victim and the victim’s wife reported by e-mail:

How Thailands Killer Buses gunned her husband down

“yes the details were and are sketchy…but he’s bk at home reading a lot of ebooks…but is terminally..due to brain tumor…on his accident..I got a broken thai/English message that said he and his kid were on motorcycle..tour bus pulled out in front of him..no way to stop…kids was sitting in front but marty leaned over and took the hit with his head so the kid didn’t get hurt…during this time they found or it caused another tumor”

I believe that the official position on the accident was the victim fell  asleep while driving his motorcycle and that he rear ended the tour bus.  Yeah, right!  When’s the last time you ever fell asleep driving a motorcycle?  You can chalk this up to the authorities  giving Thailands Killer Buses a license to kill.

Massive invasion by Chinese tourists put Thailands Killer Buses out of control

The Chinese have recently replaced the Russians as the single largest foreign visitor group coming to Thailand.  But here’s the key difference.  Russian tourists just like their American, British, or German counterparts are not nearly as driven by the herd instinct as the Chinese.  Like their fellow Westerners from the U.S., Europe, etc Russians are not typically herd animals.   Unlike the Chinese, the Russians are not herd animals.  Most of them arrange  their own transportation and  use taxis, baht buses, or motorcycle taxis.  The Chinese are different and travel everywhere in large groups.  I condescendingly refer to such groups as the “Chinese Army”.

Here’s the way such Chinese Armies work.

A company that arranges tours in China books a tour for a group, and this company is out to make the largest profit possible.  Either before or after the tour group of Chinese reaches Thailand Chinese authorities assign a “Fearless Leader”  to shepherd the flock of sheep to all the tourist attractions, restaurants, bars and hotels that either he or his bosses decides the herd cannot do without.   Commissions or kickbacks are given to the fearless leader from all the bars, restaurants, hotels, and other tourist attractions the herd is taken to.  It is the fearless leader’s mission in life to get the maximum amount of commission money from his flock (I mean herd).

Let me give you a couple of examples.  

Back in 1982 I was on a tour of Americans

visiting Japan, Hong Kong, Singapore and Bangkok.  When we got to Hong Kong from Japan, we picked up, Larry,  our fearless leader, a young Hong Kong Chinese, who quickly became a good friend of mine.  Our group went practically everywhere by bus.  In our group there were a number of Jews from Los Angeles who all knew each other quite well.  There was another Jew from New York, named Al, who no doubt detested his Jewish brethren  who probably despised him just as much in return.  Now all these people might have been Jewish but there was a huge difference between Al and all those West Coast Jews.

When we went to the Royal Palace in Bangkok, everyone went on the bus except  Al.  Everyone of us had to pay a bus fee and an admission fee to the Royal Palace.  When our tour group got to the Royal Palace, our fearless leader, Larry, handled everything for us.  Meanwhile Al arrived on his own, having figured out early on how to use Bangkok’s taxis and bus services.  And at the Royal Palace, Al went up alone to the ticket counter where he paid his own price of admission at half the price the rest of us had to pay through our fearless leader.

Al made is a point to learn how to get around in every city he visited.  And more often than not, he’d choose his own restaurants at one third of the cost or even less  that the rest of us were paying at the restaurants that had been chosen for us by our fearless leader.

Then there were all those handicraft shops and factories

we’d visit as a group.  We’d go somewhere to see jade figurines being made in a small factory.  The next time we’d go to another outlet where glass objects were being made.  The next stop would be where clothing was being made out of silk.  And you should have seen all those West Coast Jewish women went wild in all those factories and handicrafts shops.  Their eyes were literally bulging out with greed as they all went on a spending frenzy.  But not Al and his wife.  If they bought anything at all it was at other shops that had not been carefully picked out by Larry or his bosses which sold comparable goods at one third the costs these pre-selected shops were charging.

Later Larry told me about all the commissions he was getting for his boss back in Hong Kong.  The man had two, not one Rolls Royce limousine at his opulent home on Victoria Peak, Hong Kong’s most prestigious and expensive residential area.

Well guess what—Times have not changed.  All those “fearless leaders” of tour groups are still raking in all those commissions

and all those Chinese with their herd mentality are just foolish enough to go along with it.  (Not that those L.A. Jews weren’t or that Al proved the complete outcast of any such herd).

Now here’s a real classic.   A Thai woman I’ve known for years owns a bar that’s close to my condo.  She typically charges 85 baht for a bottle of beer.  One day a Chinese man stopped in and the bar owner asked him if he wanted a beer.

“No Thank.  I wait for Fearless Leader.  Then we decide.”

Along comes the rest of the tour group.  The fearless leader draws the bar owner aside and asks her what she charges for a bottle of beer. She tells him 85 baht.

“I want you charge special group price he tells her.  We pay 145 baht one beer, Okay?  You give me 50 %..”

“Fuck off the  bar owner tells the Chinese Army Fearless leader”.

And off trudges the Chinese Army as each Chinese carefully places his foot in the footprints of the Fearless Leader.  I suppose that’s why many of us Thailand expats have been going to this Thai woman’s  bar for the past nine years.   It’s like a small island in an ocean where money is always number one.  Gotta love the old gal.

Thailand’s Money Number one ethic unleashes Thailands Killer Buses

But here we must step aside for a moment to consider that here in Thailand money is truly number one.  And the Chinese live by the same lack of ethics.  Speaking for Pattaya, which is the only place in Thailand where I”m actually living and can therefore be writing about from the perspective of having a lot of first hand knowledge, the government officials and police have zero respect for public safety or even human life.

If the authorities had just a little love for their own countrymen–If they possessed only a modicum of self respect for doing their jobs well–they would immediately expell Thailands Killer Buses from the city as soon as they discharged their passengers to whatever hotel the group was staying at.  All those Chinese would then be reduced to the same sorry state as all those Russians, Germans, Canadians, Japanese, Americans, etc who somehow  manage to arrange their own transportation whether it’s by baht taxi, motorbike taxi, mini bus or by just plain having to walk.

And just think about this.

If Thailand’s cities such as Pattaya actually started to enforce its traffic laws,

it might actually become reasonably safe to cross the street.  Driving motorbikes would become much more safe if all these city officials and police ever got their faces out of the cesspool bucket of money number one excrement.  Shops either at the hotels or at outside shops could start renting both bicycles and small motorbikes.  Unless it’s raining, what better way is there to get around?  For that matter I can drive my motorcycles 365 days a year, even on those days it is raining so long as the downpour is not too severe.

But oh well, I am just a visitor here.  I am not Thai so it’s not up to me to tell Thais how to do things.  For that matter I cannot get my fellow Americans to stop voting for the Traitorous Republican Party which is now being led by the Neo Nazi lunatic fringe. of the Far Right wing.

 

 

 

The three point plan–how to stay ahead of women

Two men were responsible for the three point plan, the perfect fool proof blueprint for winning the battle of the sexes, Saint Perrier and my Father.

Pattaya House of Sperm Body Massage three point plan
Oil massages are perfect for the man not wanting a personal relationship

When Saint Perrier started giving me lessons on how to apply the three point plan, I was teaching school in Saint Louis.

Saint Perrier became my only friend on the High School teaching staff. A black Afro American, Saint Perrier taught biology while I was teaching History and English. No fool, Saint Perrier, had developed the perfect concept on the planet for dealing with women–his three point plan which bore his personal guarantee for a lifetime of successful relationships with women.

“First, you gotta have a front program,” Saint Perrier said in a calm voice. “Now, your front can be your wife or your steady girlfriend. She’s the woman you can show off to all your friends, to your mother, and the entire community you are living in . She’s gotta be good looking, well dressed, well-spoken, and have good manners. Just think of her as always wearing a white dress.”

Saint Perrier’s voice became agitated. His eyes glistened with excitement. “Then comes your sneak program.

Now this is the woman you keep in the closet. The last thing you want to do is to show her off to your family, and your wife or girlfriend can never know you have a sneak. You might not even want to have your friends ever see her. She can be good looking, and then again, she might not be. The main thing is whenever you fuck her you have a jiggerhouse fuck.”

“What on earth is a jiggerhouse fuck?” I asked.

“Well, it’s a wild motherfucking anything goes fuck,” Saint Perrier replied loudly, his face feverish with excitement.

“Now where are the best places I can find a sneak?” I asked.

“Oh anywhere. She can be a prostitute or someone you just met in a bar. She can even be your best friend’s wife, but if she is, you had better really keep her in the closet and never let her out. The thing is, you can have as many sneaks as you want. There is no limit to the number of women you keep around just for fucking”

“That sounds interesting,“ I replied.

“Then there’s the third aspect of the three point plan,” Saint Perrier said in a calmer voice, and that’s the homestead program.”

“So what’s that.”

“Your homestead is a woman who’s a number one friend. You confide in her about your front and your sneaks. If a button falls off your shirt, she sews it back on for you. When you visit her she makes a pot of coffee and you don’t even have to ask her. Maybe you are fucking her, but that’s not important, and chances are that you aren’t taking her to bed.”

It all sounded wonderful to me, but I must continue on to why having a three point plan for women is so important. My father explained it to me, and I never forgot either what he or Saint Perrier said.

Lessons from my father about the three point plan

“If you have only  one woman, you fall into a trap,” my father told me. “If there ever was a God, he created us to fall into the monogamy trap. You see, women like that because it gives them security but it’s no good for the man. If he becomes accustomed to having sex with just one woman, he starts to feel that she’s irreplaceable. He will probably wind up marrying her and having children, and then he’s really screwed.  Son, do you really want to get married and have to spend the rest of your life with only one woman?”

“Well, I don’t know, Dad. What’s wrong with that?

“For one thing, she’s probably going to get fat on you. And after you are with her for a year or more, she starts to take advantage of you. That’s because  have a boring routine. But at the very beginning of the relationship you were getting brainwashed into believing:   No one else feels like her; and no one else is going to feel so good in the sack.  But after a year you are so used to each other that both of you get into a big rut.”

“So who’s the brain washer?”

“God.  He’s the villain here.  He wants you to settle down,  have a family, and make little babies to carry on the human species.

But as far as He’s concerned, we are all likes insects, copulating,  and  breeding, just to keep reproducing human spawn.   He doesn’t care about you.

“Well Dad, I think you have convinced me.  I’ll ever get married.”

“God, if there is a god, intended us to fall for just one woman, and that’s because he wants us to have children. So if you are going out with several women at the same time, you start to like one better than all the rest and you start going with only her. The key is to always have at least three women in your life.”

“That sounds like a lot of work.”

“Sure it is but it keeps you from falling into God’s trap. So you can never start liking one woman too much more than the others.

So if that starts to happen you must start replacing the women who you have become bored with. That way you can have and keep having great sex for the rest of your life without becoming tied down.”

My neighbor in Pattaya  has the perfect three point plan

I never thought my neighbor living next door to me in Pattaya is very smart, but now I’ve changed my mind. He’s got a girlfriend from Vietnam. She has a very white complexion, and if she dyes her hair a light brown you might even think she’s a girl from Europe or South American who’s moved to America. Her English is far better than most Thais and she’s really cute. So far he hasn’t moved her to Thailand from Vietnam so she’s only visiting him every three months or so and she never stays for more than two weeks. So he thinks about her a lot of the time, about how pretty she is, and how cute all his friends find her.

“That’s his front program. She’s speaks softly and she’s polite.

Then there’s his sneak program. Once in awhile he will pay a big bar fine for a Pattaya go go girl, but usually he’s after massage girls.

Now the problem with most Pattaya massage girls is that most of them are butt ugly. The reason for this is that a woman has to work very hard to give a one hour Thai massage–if she’s giving a good massage that is.   And, pretty girls have a lot better things to do than to work hard.  But, a lot of girls offer oil massages with the object being to ejaculate the customer by hand. It doesn’t take much work. Because of the oil the massage girl doesn’t  work hard to get the job done.

As for  my neighbor, he has all the time in the world for constantly driving around on his motorbike looking  all over Pattaya for the prettiest massage girls. I don’t go looking for them because there simply aren’t that many pretty ones around here and I don’t have the time to always be about looking for them down in South Pattaya where most of the girls with their oily semen soaked  hands ply their trade.

I’ve seen my neighbor bring some really pretty massage girls to his condo.  I’m amazed  how he finds them.

But it’s his homestead program that amuses me the most. It’s the girl who works in our condo office, and I’m sure that she will want to deny any personal involvement with my neighbor. But like him or not, she’s sticks to him like glue. She works for we condo owners so whenever he comes into our condo office she must accommodate him because it’s her job to take care of all the condo customers.

“I’ve been down in the condo office talking to her, when my neighbor suddenly walks in to show her pictures on his cell phone of his latest bar girl and massage girl sex partners.” Then out it comes, “Which one should I like best?”  or “Which one is the cutest”.  And “What should I do now that this one’s told me she has another boyfriend?” Now our office girl can really care less.  But she has to put up with him.

But it gets worse. You see, my neighbor is really cheap.

So he will come down to our condo office to ask the office girl, “My printer has run out of paper. Can you give me some?” Or, “my ink pen’s run out of ink. Can I borrow one from the office?” Another example is, “I don’t have a hammer. Can you have our maintenance man put up a picture for me?” And, “I don’t have a fan in my toilet. Do you have a small fan you can lend me?”

His requests are endless, and I think part of the reason he keeps going down to our condo office is that he finds Pooey to be pretty attractive. And unlike all the massage girls and bar girls he keeps bringing home with him, she’s got a really good mind, and a good sense of humor. (I mean you gotta to be putting up with him). Her English is good and she’s usually very logical, and in Thailand this is a quality that’s in very short supply.

So the other day I went down to talk to Pooey and I told her, “You know,

my neighbor has the perfect womanizing program–The Three Point Plan. He’s got all those massage girls for sex and he has the Vietnamese girlfriend to show off to his family and friends,

and then he has you, Pooey for his homestead plan. He asks you your advice on even how to put on his shoes, and he keeps asking you to lend him things from our condo office. I think he really likes you. He might even be in love with you.”

Daggers started to jump out of her eyes at me as she told me, “I could kill you Jack.”

To read more about how the three point plan works check out my novel Death on the Wild Side at Amazon.com