One should never pay too much for Walking Street go go girls. One reason is the Soi Six Go Go Bar Walking Street Connection.

Lately, all of U’s will have noticed that I’ve made my strong preferences for Soi Six bars

well known on account of cheaper beers, built in 300 baht short time rooms, and cheaper and better wimmen. But tonight kinda rekindled my passion for Pattaya Go Go bars.

It all started out with me and Billy Bob going to the Crazy House Go Go first. This was because we both admitted most of the time we had the most fun there. Maybe it was because Crazy House has the same toilet for the wimmen and the men and the toilet is often a wonderful place for meeting a lot of sexy wimmen.

Cum to think of it that toilet there is so good that I sometimes am taking a piss, when a girl comes up behind me and starts giving me a massage. There’s also the exciting possibility that if a man buys a go go dancer enough tequila that he can take her back into one of those toilet stalls for a short time. Anyways if a girl isn’t a coyote, the bar fines 800 baht. Now that ain’t good but it’s a damn sight better than these other places all a chargin 1500 baht for them coyotes. Never mind my sidekick here, Billy Bob, who always seems to get the most rotten luck in the world. Even at Crazy House he seems to keep attractin them coyotes with large bar fines.

As soon as we walk into Crazy House, I knows my Dick is in for trouble.

It’s that girl who was a wearing them glasses the last time. I see her sitting by herself as soon as I come into the place and she sees me too. So as soon as me and Billy Bob sit down she’s on me like a hyena onto something that’s already been killed. Pretty soon she’s on me, with those hypnotic eyes of hers.  Her hands are all over my body. She unbuttons my shirt. She feels between my legs where my bigger brain lurks. It becomes bigger and bigger as it starts to take control of whatever resolution I first brought into the place.

Pretty soon, Billy Bob’s got a girl on him trying to milk him for drinks. He doesn’t look too happy so I tell him that as soon as we finish our drinks we should go to the next place. The girl tells me, “I really like you.” A few moments she tells me, “I want you now.” In a moment of weakness I promise to come back (for her) after hitting several more go go’s with Billy Bob, and she says to me, “Okay, I wait for you.”

I figure she will. After all, I’m Uncle Bufford and there’s nobody in Pattaya who’s like me.

I’ve got them kind of eyes that tell a woman, “Trust me”.

I’ve also got a made by Viagra big dick. But unlike all those Japanese who keep cummin into these go go’s I’m not afraid to let all the girls play with it. I’ve got a great body too. It’s one that’s gotta put all their Thai boyfriends to shame. I’m on top of the world and I knows the wimmin can see that.

We gets only  a few feet down Walking Street from Crazy House when suddenly a girl runs right up to me, callin out my name. I takes one look at her, and I’m a thinkin, “She’s gotta be some girl I met workin a job somewhere. Maybe it was Home Pro or Power Buy, Seven-Eleven or Lotus. She sure don’t look like no bar girl.  She’s got too wholesome a face to be a workin at a bar. She’s cute.

“I work over there,” she tells me. Come see me.” She’s pointin at a small go go bar called Infinity. “New bar,” she says.

I promise to see her soon, but we gotta go to another place first.

Next go go is Super Girls. And sure enough they’ve got all that horrible DA DA music going in there again.

Let me check my notes. Yep. First song’s DA DA. I got it all written here. Second song’s DA DA too. And the third and the fourth. I must have gotten tired of writing. But a lot of these wimmen are smiling at us, especially from the stage. Across the stage is Billy Bob’s friend. She’s one of the prettiest girls in the place, and she looks a lot like my favorite Soi Six girl. But if you get them lying down naked next to each other, I’m a bettin my Soi Six girl wins. She’s got the golden pussy too. The kind of pussy that men dies for.

With that kind of knowledge in my small brain, I am ready for anything. There’s a girl dancing in front of us pointing to her friend as she smiles down at us. Her friend’s got big tits. A nice body too. I tell Billy Bob, “I’m buying that one with those silicon breasts a drink. I won’t be bar fining her though. On account of my promise to the girl back at Crazy House. And that girl we met back in the street who knows me. “Man, now where do I know her from?”

Now how much do I like Big Tits Anyway?

Are they really worth 3000 baht short time with them for me?

Suddenly it comes back to me. She’s the one I met down at that Soi Six go go bar. I even took her upstairs once. That stupid owner was a chargin 120 baht for a beer and 500 baht for his short time rooms. Poor girl. And she was really nice. But I had told her every other Soi Six Bar was only a chargin 300 baht for its rooms and I really couldn’t bring myself to payin 500 baht just because a stupid Australian thought customers were stupid enough to pay him 500 baht just because he had a Soi Six Go Go Bar.

I was going to pay this girl 1000 baht. But I told her since her big boss was so greedy, I was a willin to give her 800 baht. She agreed so I took her upstairs, and guess what? That short time room was just as bad as the worse short time rooms on Soi Six.

And then–just a few weeks ago, I was a drinkin with that same girl down on Soi Six. I had come into that place in a rotten mood, but she remembered me, came up to me as I sat alone at the bar. So I bought her a drink and pretty soon we were huggin each other and I just felt good all over.

She just felt so right. And she wasn’t pushy and she never ever asked me for a drink in the first place.

I had even showed her my Uncle Bufford go go bar review notes and said that she would probably be my most memorable girl of the night. She would have been except later on I met the girl with the hypnotic eyes in Crazy House, had bar fined her, and that had been that. And here once again, I’d be passin on that Soi Six girl for that seductress from Crazy House.

I tell Billy Bob about the Soi Six girl. Then I make him a bet.

“I bet that within the next two months that I’ll be short timing one of these go go girls for 1000 baht.  It might be the ”Soi Six Go Go Bar girl but it could easily be anyone of these girls we are lookin at right now.”

Billy Bob says nothing. He knows I can do it.

Then I smile at the girl with the big tits and motion to her like I’m drinking and point to her. Then I tell Billy Bob, “I’m buying her a drink, and then the next time we comes in here, I’m buying another girl a drink so that each time I’m getting a girl a drink. This way I can meet a lot of girls and get a good idea of what this place is all about. Then I’ll wait until low season hits and most of these girls aren’t makin any money. That’s when I git them for a thousand baht.

The easiest way is for me to bang the ex Soi Six Go Go Bar girl for a thousand baht.

I already short timed her for 800 baht at the  Soi Six Go Go Bar.  When the other girls know I’m doing her for 1000 baht, I’ll have it made in that new go go bar.”

In five minutes the girl with the big tits is sittin beside me. I ask her how old she is, but I can’t remember that now, but I seems to recall she was only twenty-one. My next question is, “Where did you buy those big tits?” From Bangkok?”

She says yes.

I thought of Bangkok first because I remembers how this old girlfriend of mine had

taken me to a big clinic where they make tits and vaginas for lady boys who want to replace their dicks with pussies.

My girlfriend had been shopping for a new nose. She bought one too. But she got her new nose later courtesy of her new boyfriend who was a fat German who had to get special shocks on his motorcycle because he was too gargantuous for its little frame.

“Want to feel them?” the girl asks me as she cups a small hand around one of her nipples.

I feel one of them gently. But I feel it just a little bit because I don’t want her or the other girls to think I’m a dirty old man.

After I ask her a few more questions I tell her “Not tonight, but later someday”, in my horrible Thai (My Shy Yenee. Tilang Kap). “How much boom boom you?”

I’ve got my Uncle Bufford notepad in front of us on the bar. My pen too, so she takes my pen and writes down 800 baht as she explains “that’s for the bar fine.” She asks, “For short time?”

I tell her, “Yes.  Short time.”

Then she writes down 3000 baht.

The girl with the golden tits. That’s what I’m calling her from this point on.

Needless to say, I’ve got 1000 baht on my mind. I’ve already promised the girl with the hypnotic eyes and I sure as hell am going to be back a lookin for that ex Soi Six go-go girl before I even get back to Crazy House.

The girl with the big tits goes back to the stage, Billy Bob and I check bin, and then we walk out of the place.

“I gotta go home now,” says Billy Bob. “I am sure you are going to get well taken care of down at Infinity Go Go.”

Infinity Go Go is a pretty weird place.

There’s a long stage running down the entire room which is long and kindof narrow. On both sides of that stage there’s a long row of small tables and padded bench style couch. There’s very few customers here but most of them are sittin on the left side of the stage while most of the girls are all sittin together all along the right side. All of these people are facing each other across the stage like it’s some kindof dating game where the men are too afraid to approach the wimmen and the wimmin are equally scared to be coming up to the men.

My girl is sitting on the right side about half way down. I notice her straight off because she’s smiling at me. A waitress sandwiches me between the girl and two other girls who have been sitting with her. The other two girls end up sitting to my immediate left.

Once again, they’ve got that awful DA DA music going again. Must be a sign of the times.

Times in which the people are more stupid than they’ve ever been before and in which hardly anyone ever reads a book. It’s a time when most people have to find their own little worlds in Face book and practically everyone’s got these little smart phones. It is a time when people don’t have cameras anymore. They are all using smart phones and Ipads because they are too lazy to be a learning how to use anything else. It is a time for mediocrity and a time for morons.

I make it very clear to the girl that I cannot bar fine her tonight. She keeps asking me where I am going, and I tell her I’m going somewhere else down the street. Then she asks me, “When you go back to America.” I tell her in a few months, and then she starts to pretend to cry.

I’m drinking beer as usual. She’s having something with whisky in it. Unlike most lady drinks, it’s got a lot of real alcohol in it. She takes her time with it, and I don’t buy her another until she’s already been nursing it for a half an hour. Obviously she’s no coyote. She’s a lot of fun too.

She has me hold her hands so that I can read her fortune.

I vaguely remember doing this with her down at the Soi Six Go Go Bar. From time to time she puts her hand on my crotch, furtively, shyly, and not at all like the girl with the hungry eyes. She massages my arms and plays with my hands. We are having a good time.

I ask her, “Why you finish that Soi Six Go Go Bar?”

“I have problem with Big Boss,” she tells me.

“That Soi Six Go Go Bar you worked at will not last long.  Every other bar on Soi Six charges 85 to 90 baht a beer.  But he charges 120 baht.  Every other Soi Six Bar charges 300 baht for a short time room.  He charges 500 baht for a shitty room.  He does not know how to manage a bar.”

I think she’s one of those “What you see is what you get”  kind of people

The beer costs 135 baht here, which is a little cheaper than most of the other Walking Street go go bars. When I ask her what her bar fine is she tells me, “I don’t know. The place is new.”

Meanwhile I’m also talking to the two girls sitting to my left. My girl has to get up on the stage to dance. So I ask them what the bar fine is. They don’t know either. So they motion another girl over to us. She doesn’t even know but she goes to the other end of the stage to find someone who does. She comes back. For a while she sits next to me as one of the girls I had been talking with has to take her turn on the stage. “1100 baht,” she tells me.

I’m making it clear to all the girls around me that my girl and I are good friends, and that we have known each other for a long time. But I never mention Soi Six to any of them. That’s up to the girl and if she wants to keep that a secret, I will honor her wanting to be quiet about her past employment down on Soi Six.

“Hym. 1100 baht bar fine? Those greedy bastard bar owners.”

I’ll be making her a deal for 1000 baht.  Just not sure when.  One thing’s almost for sure.  She’s not going to be playing a lot of those stupid Walking Street Go Go bar girl games most of them play. I stay here far too long.

It’s gettin kind of late and I need to be back a collectin that girl with the hypnotic eyes.  In the meantime for all of you readin these pearls of wisdom, there really is a Soi Six Go Go Bar connection.  I distinctly remember the go go dancer from Heaven Above working down on Soi Six later on where the price no doubt went immediately down from 2000 baht short time to 1000 baht or even lower.

Then there were the two pretty girls Billy Bob and I met in a Soi Six bar who had been working the Walking Street go go bars but were unable to make much money there.

And I’ll never forget one of my old time favorites who had tried working at Baccarat, but  gone back to her old Soi Six bar after not making enough money at Baccharat.

 To top it off, there was that really tall girl from Crazy House I had once paid too much for,

and then I wound up buying her a drink at that Soi Six Go Go Bar a few weeks later.   I thought she was pretty hot, but I never bar fined her again even if her price no doubt went way down.  That other girl with the golden pussy from another Soi Six Bar was simply too much competition.   My point is these were all the same girls. The only things that had changed was the price and the packaging.