Bar girl excuses from Pattaya go go girls that will make you laugh

Out of  all the Hilarious bar girl excuses from Pattaya Go Go girls to avoid long time sex this one had me rolling on the floor with laughter.   Even though Pattaya go go girls are especially notorious for cheating their customers out of what they have paid for, this incident still churns my stomach.    The bar, the mamasan and the go go girl all conspired to cheat my friend.   Who paid 4300 baht for long time but ended up getting the shaft.

When a man pays for long time, this means he’s paying for an all nighter for the bar girl he’s bar fining.  Not for 3 hours of monkey business.

But when he pays for short time sex, he’s typically paying for a half an hour to 3 hours with the bar girl he’s bar fining. I am now going to make a few generalizations to distinguish between beer bar girls and Pattaya go go girls.  In general when a man buys a beer bar girl out of the bar,  she’s hoping to spend the entire night with him.  One reason for this is the bar girl hopes he will like her enough to hire her out for a week, a month, a year, or a lifetime.  The typical beer bar girl hopes to provide security for her family for the long haul.  So if she can get a steady income of 15000 to 30000 baht every month from a falang, she’s achieving her goal.  Because now she is able to send 5000 to 20000 baht a month to her Mama and Papa.  And oftentimes her brothers, the Thai boyfriend she’s hiding away in the village, etc.

What this amounts to is long term job income for family members who are unable or unwilling to work

But Walking Street go go girls operate in a totally different manner.  First off, most of their customers are tourists.  And tourists are idiots who don’t know any better.   But a lot of expats who live full time in Pattaya visit the beer bars.  Or men who keep making multiple visits to Pattaya, who have been around and seen a lot.  This is why so many beer bar girls view so many customers as long term prospects.  And go go girls view customers as short term visitors who they are likely to never see again.

Again, I’m generalizing.  But go go girls act as birds of prey.  Behaving as predators zooming down on their hapless victims. Their goal is to extract as much money in the shortest amount of time from their victims.  So when they go long time with a customer, they want to spend as little time with him as possible.  And the last thing she wants to do is to spend the entire night with him.

Keep in mind that money is number one.

bar girl excuses for Money Number One
If you are going to have anything to do with Thai women, especially bar girls you need this book. It’s the bible. In Money Number One Neil Hutchison tells it like it is. Which has royally upset many Thais who complained so much about Neil’s cartoons that the main book stores here such as Asia books have taken it off their shelves.  But if you are a tourist you already know everything, don’t you?  Look at it this way.  See the funny old fart in the cartoon.  This is you.

So the typical go go girl doesn’t care about how badly she behaves.  After all, tourists are here today and gone tomorrow.   Whereas your typical beer bar girl views her customers as long term prospects who can provide life long security for her family.  Money is still number one.  It’s just that the beer bar girl is looking long term.  And the go go girl is looking only for the short term.  Just keep in mind that bar girl excuses is in their dna wherever you find them.

Let’s now laugh at all the bar girl excuses go go girls make to avoid having to spend the entire night with their victims

One of their favorite excuses is “I have to go home early.  I must go home to take care of my baby.”

 This is total horseshit.
Out of all the bar girls I’ve met,  only one of them had her child staying with her in Pattaya.  And she was from Laos.  Which meant that she had no family living in Thailand that she could lean on.  Almost all Thai bar girls have their momma and papa or sister taking care of their babies up in the village.  Chances are Momma and Papa are too frail to work.  Or there’s hardly any employment for them in the village.  So they might as well take care of the children.  Otherwise they are as useless as tits on a boar when it comes to the grand scale of bar girl-Thai family economies.
But the bar girl is still young and vigorous and she’s got that gilded pussy that we all want.   Chances are she’s renting a room for 5000 to 10000 baht a month and she’s got one or two roommates to share the expense with.

Here’s another classic example  of  bar girl excuses that the average tourist is totally naive about

The customer’s in the room with the girl he’s just bar fined.  After having sex a single time, the bar girl gets a phone call from one of her accomplices.
She utters:  “Oh tilak.  My friend me.  Lose key.  I have.  My friend me cannot get in room.  I must give now.  So sorry tilak.  I want stay with you so much.”
You are going to have to pay high drink prices here. But you won’t be paying any bar fines. Do expect to hear the usual bar girl excuses here. It’s the same everywhere. After all, it’s in their DNA
The bar girl typically does this at 2 or 3 in the morning.  Then she pockets the money you just gave her so that she can visit a Thai karioke bar to meet with her Thai boyfriend.  Or even worse, so that she can take your money to pay a very attractive Thai man to have sex with her.  Or–so that she can go to Club Insomnia, Lucifers Bamboo Bar or other disco so that she can now pick up another customer.  This time as a free lancer.
Personally I think I’d enjoy going here to meet the women. The problem is, one has to be a vampire because discos such as Insomnia are for night owls. They open late and stay open late. One avoids the bar fines. Many go go dancers come here for one last trick after you pay high dollar for their services. I’d enjoy the hunt. I just can’t stay out late and get up too early in the morning to play Count Dracula.

 But this latest line of bull pales compared to the line of horse shit a Walking Street go go girl fed one of my friends last night.

My pal’s first mistake is, he negotiates with the Mamasan.  This is at Super Girls Go Go Bar.  Now my first rule is to never ever negotiate with the mamasan.   First off she’s going to be getting a commission from the go go girl you are bar fining.  So it’s in mamasan’s best interest to set your price as high as possible.
There’s a short time room down the street that charges 350 baht for 2 hours.   Then there’s the 600 baht bar fine he has to pay Super Girls.  But my friend wants the intimacy of his hotel room.  He wants the girlfriend experience.  And unknown to me he wants long time instead of short time.  This means an all-niter. But he makes a mistake and this is to pay the mamasan.
The way it should work is the customer pays the bar fine to the go go bar while he negotiates a price that is acceptable to both the girl and himself.

If I ever have a mamasan try to interfere between me and the girl I’m bar fining, I tell her.  “Look.  I”m fucking her.  Not you.”

So the three of us head down to Pattaya Tai where we board a baht taxi to Naklua.  I drive my motorcycle that I’ve parked in the hotel’s parking lot back to my condo.  While my friend and his short time girl go up to his room at Lek Villa Hotel.
My friend’s room is on the 4th floor and he has his windows and door open to the balcony to let the fresh ocean breeze in. He has sex with the go-go girl and then he goes to sleep. One or two hours later the girl wakes him up. She has shut the door to the balcony and closed the window, but she hasn’t turned the air conditioner on.

She cries out, “Mosquitoes, Mosquitoes too much.” Then she shows him a pimple on her ass, and tells him, “I cannot sleep because of the mosquitoes so I must go home (to my Thai boyfriend or disco such as Lucifers, Tony’s, Insomnia, Marine, etc to pick up still another paying customer).

This really pisses off my friend who by now cannot wait to get rid of the bitch so he tells her,
“I’ve had enough of your pathetic bar girl excuses.  Go, get out of here. Next time I don’t go to your go-go bar. I go to Beach Road for good lady for just 500 baht.”
I recall his saying he paid her 3500 baht for the long time plus the 600 baht bar fine plus another 300 baht to the mamasan for setting up such a great deal for him.
But trust me, his experience is all too typical for Walking Street Go-Go girls.
I remember a friend of mine who paid 2000 baht to a Living Dolls go go girl expecting to have her spend all night with him, but she kept telling him, “ such typical bar girl excuses as  “I cannot sleep. You snore too much. I must go home” (to Thai husband).
There are three lessons to be learned here. Number one–Do not go to go-go bars, number 2. If you must–never have the mamasan or waitress negotiate the price for you. She will try to get the highest dollar for the girl at your expense, and 3. Never pay for sex in advance. Negotiate your price and then pay the girl when she leaves you or you have finished doing what the two of you agreed on. If she falls asleep on you without performing don’t pay her.  And if a girl cheats you out of a long time by going short time, pay her only for the short time.  Last, but not least, be ready for the usual  bar girl excuses.  Trust me, they are coming your way.
Above all, do not believe all the bar girl excuses.  And trust in one thing.  “You can always tell when a bar girl is lying when her lips are moving.
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