Two men were responsible for the three point plan, the perfect fool proof blueprint for winning the battle of the sexes, Saint Perrier and my Father.

When Saint Perrier started giving me lessons on how to apply the three point plan, I was teaching school in Saint Louis.

Saint Perrier became my only friend on the High School teaching staff. A black Afro American, Saint Perrier taught biology while I was teaching History and English. No fool, Saint Perrier, had developed the perfect concept on the planet for dealing with women–his three point plan which bore his personal guarantee for a lifetime of successful relationships with women.

“First, you gotta have a front program,” Saint Perrier said in a calm voice. “Now, your front can be your wife or your steady girlfriend. She’s the woman you can show off to all your friends, to your mother, and the entire community you are living in . She’s gotta be good looking, well dressed, well-spoken, and have good manners. Just think of her as always wearing a white dress.”

Saint Perrier’s voice became agitated. His eyes glistened with excitement. “Then comes your sneak program.

Now this is the woman you keep in the closet. The last thing you want to do is to show her off to your family, and your wife or girlfriend can never know you have a sneak. You might not even want to have your friends ever see her. She can be good looking, and then again, she might not be. The main thing is whenever you fuck her you have a jiggerhouse fuck.”

“What on earth is a jiggerhouse fuck?” I asked.

“Well, it’s a wild motherfucking anything goes fuck,” Saint Perrier replied loudly, his face feverish with excitement.

“Now where are the best places I can find a sneak?” I asked.

“Oh anywhere. She can be a prostitute or someone you just met in a bar. She can even be your best friend’s wife, but if she is, you had better really keep her in the closet and never let her out. The thing is, you can have as many sneaks as you want. There is no limit to the number of women you keep around just for fucking”

“That sounds interesting,“ I replied.

“Then there’s the third aspect of the three point plan,” Saint Perrier said in a calmer voice, and that’s the homestead program.”

“So what’s that.”

“Your homestead is a woman who’s a number one friend. You confide in her about your front and your sneaks. If a button falls off your shirt, she sews it back on for you. When you visit her she makes a pot of coffee and you don’t even have to ask her. Maybe you are fucking her, but that’s not important, and chances are that you aren’t taking her to bed.”

It all sounded wonderful to me, but I must continue on to why having a three point plan for women is so important. My father explained it to me, and I never forgot either what he or Saint Perrier said.

Lessons from my father about the three point plan

“If you have only  one woman, you fall into a trap,” my father told me. “If there ever was a God, he created us to fall into the monogamy trap. You see, women like that because it gives them security but it’s no good for the man. If he becomes accustomed to having sex with just one woman, he starts to feel that she’s irreplaceable. He will probably wind up marrying her and having children, and then he’s really screwed.  Son, do you really want to get married and have to spend the rest of your life with only one woman?”

“Well, I don’t know, Dad. What’s wrong with that?

“For one thing, she’s probably going to get fat on you. And after you are with her for a year or more, she starts to take advantage of you. That’s because  have a boring routine. But at the very beginning of the relationship you were getting brainwashed into believing:   No one else feels like her; and no one else is going to feel so good in the sack.  But after a year you are so used to each other that both of you get into a big rut.”

“So who’s the brain washer?”

“God.  He’s the villain here.  He wants you to settle down,  have a family, and make little babies to carry on the human species.

But as far as He’s concerned, we are all likes insects, copulating,  and  breeding, just to keep reproducing human spawn.   He doesn’t care about you.

“Well Dad, I think you have convinced me.  I’ll ever get married.”

“God, if there is a god, intended us to fall for just one woman, and that’s because he wants us to have children. So if you are going out with several women at the same time, you start to like one better than all the rest and you start going with only her. The key is to always have at least three women in your life.”

“That sounds like a lot of work.”

“Sure it is but it keeps you from falling into God’s trap. So you can never start liking one woman too much more than the others.

So if that starts to happen you must start replacing the women who you have become bored with. That way you can have and keep having great sex for the rest of your life without becoming tied down.”

My neighbor in Pattaya  has the perfect three point plan

I never thought my neighbor living next door to me in Pattaya is very smart, but now I’ve changed my mind. He’s got a girlfriend from Vietnam. She has a very white complexion, and if she dyes her hair a light brown you might even think she’s a girl from Europe or South American who’s moved to America. Her English is far better than most Thais and she’s really cute. So far he hasn’t moved her to Thailand from Vietnam so she’s only visiting him every three months or so and she never stays for more than two weeks. So he thinks about her a lot of the time, about how pretty she is, and how cute all his friends find her.

“That’s his front program. She’s speaks softly and she’s polite.

Then there’s his sneak program. Once in awhile he will pay a big bar fine for a Pattaya go go girl, but usually he’s after massage girls.

Now the problem with most Pattaya massage girls is that most of them are butt ugly. The reason for this is that a woman has to work very hard to give a one hour Thai massage–if she’s giving a good massage that is.   And, pretty girls have a lot better things to do than to work hard.  But, a lot of girls offer oil massages with the object being to ejaculate the customer by hand. It doesn’t take much work. Because of the oil the massage girl doesn’t  work hard to get the job done.

As for  my neighbor, he has all the time in the world for constantly driving around on his motorbike looking  all over Pattaya for the prettiest massage girls. I don’t go looking for them because there simply aren’t that many pretty ones around here and I don’t have the time to always be about looking for them down in South Pattaya where most of the girls with their oily semen soaked  hands ply their trade.

I’ve seen my neighbor bring some really pretty massage girls to his condo.  I’m amazed  how he finds them.

But it’s his homestead program that amuses me the most. It’s the girl who works in our condo office, and I’m sure that she will want to deny any personal involvement with my neighbor. But like him or not, she’s sticks to him like glue. She works for we condo owners so whenever he comes into our condo office she must accommodate him because it’s her job to take care of all the condo customers.

“I’ve been down in the condo office talking to her, when my neighbor suddenly walks in to show her pictures on his cell phone of his latest bar girl and massage girl sex partners.” Then out it comes, “Which one should I like best?”  or “Which one is the cutest”.  And “What should I do now that this one’s told me she has another boyfriend?” Now our office girl can really care less.  But she has to put up with him.

But it gets worse. You see, my neighbor is really cheap.

So he will come down to our condo office to ask the office girl, “My printer has run out of paper. Can you give me some?” Or, “my ink pen’s run out of ink. Can I borrow one from the office?” Another example is, “I don’t have a hammer. Can you have our maintenance man put up a picture for me?” And, “I don’t have a fan in my toilet. Do you have a small fan you can lend me?”

His requests are endless, and I think part of the reason he keeps going down to our condo office is that he finds Pooey to be pretty attractive. And unlike all the massage girls and bar girls he keeps bringing home with him, she’s got a really good mind, and a good sense of humor. (I mean you gotta to be putting up with him). Her English is good and she’s usually very logical, and in Thailand this is a quality that’s in very short supply.

So the other day I went down to talk to Pooey and I told her, “You know,

my neighbor has the perfect womanizing program–The Three Point Plan. He’s got all those massage girls for sex and he has the Vietnamese girlfriend to show off to his family and friends,

and then he has you, Pooey for his homestead plan. He asks you your advice on even how to put on his shoes, and he keeps asking you to lend him things from our condo office. I think he really likes you. He might even be in love with you.”

Daggers started to jump out of her eyes at me as she told me, “I could kill you Jack.”

To read more about how the three point plan works check out my novel Death on the Wild Side at Amazon.com