Category Archives: Go Go Bars

Most go go bars in Pattaya are on Walking Street. Resembling in many ways American strip clubs they come in all flavors from upscale to some really down and dirty dives where it’s all hands on.

Go Go Bars, Soi Six Bars, Uncle Bufford bar girl advice Column

Soi Six or Walking Street Mistress

Leave a comment

Soi Six or Walking Street Mistress

If you are married in Pattaya, would you choose a Walking Street Mistress or would you choose a Mia Noi from the Soi Six brothels?

Contestant Number One

She’s 25 years old. In her prime. You have met her in a go go bar on Walking Street. She likes Tequila and so do you. At first you don’t notice that she’s on the short side. She’s wearing high heels on the stage, and when she snuggles against you, the first thing you notice are her sensational breasts. The waitress asks you to buy the girl a drink. At first you are drinking beer. Like nearly all Walking Street go go girls she doesn’t want to drink beer with you. It takes too long to drink one. She’d rather have a no alcohol ladies drink because she can drink 15 or 20 of them with no problem. So her game plan is to get you to buy her as many ladies drinks as she can. She’s probably on a contract with the go go which requires her to sell 50 ladies drinks every 10 days.

The overriding goal of the go go is to EXTRACT as much money

out of each customer as possible for drinks–especially ladies drinks. And I do mean EXTRACT which means nearly the same thing as Extort.

As if on Que, she starts fondling you between your legs. So you start thinking, “if I start buying her tequila she will lose all her inhibitions. Maybe I can fuck her in the toilet for peanuts. Or maybe she will blow me right here. You hardly notice that there’s a lot of male customers in the place and that you can be sure they will be watching you getting your blow job. The pretty girl has you by the balls.

Three minutes pass. The waitress returns. “Another drink for lady?” she asks. By this time your new girlfriend has drained her coca cola. Once again she refuses your offer to buy her a beer so you offer Tequila. “At least it will get her drunk,” you tell yourself. By now your bar bill has already reached 650 baht.

The waitress asks, “Can you buy me drink?”

If you were Japanese, you would be polite

and buy the woman a drink. But you aren’t Japanese, which means you are not entirely stupid when it comes to Walking Street games. You politely refuse which now brings on dirty trick number two.

Another girl joins you and the girl beside you who’s still stroking your dick. “Buy my sister a drink?” the girl asks.

If you were Japanese you’d also buy the second girl a drink just to be polite. For that matter

so would half my American friends just because they are dumb shits.

And you are not. So you tell your girl. “She not your sister. She only your friend.”

“Yes. Very good friend. Same same sister me.”

So you politely decline, telling both girls, “I only buy drink for the girl I’m fucking.”

By this time you can’t keep your eyes off her breasts. And of course she’s noticing this. She responds by drawing your hands to her breasts. Your mouth immediately follows. They are an ample mouthful and have a beautiful pointy taper.

It’s time for another tequila. You order two.

They go down quickly for both of you, in one swallow. It’s time to get busy again with those gorgeous breasts.

The girl suddenly gets up, turns around, and sits on your lap with her face looking away towards the stage. But it’s time to extract still another drink from you. Her hand goes up your shorts. Once again she’s stroking your dick except this time she’s giving you a lap dance with her shapely ass rubbing back and forth across your lap. It feels almost as if you are already fucking her in the rear entry position. But you are in your sixties now. If you were still in your twenties by now you would be coming in your pants.

“This can’t go on forever,” you tell yourself. “It’s time to make a move.

“I pay you 1500 baht for short time,” you tell her.

“No. 2000 baht,” she replies.

If you were Japanese you would immediately agree to the 2000 baht. For that matter if you were Japanese she might ask you for 2500 baht. But you are not Japanese, so you tell her firmly, “I pay 1500 baht for short time.” To which she finally agrees.

It costs you another 800 baht for the bar fine. But the waitress asks you, “Do you want to pay bar short time or long time?” If you were to keep her all night long, the bar fine is 1000 baht. But you are taking her to the short time room just down the street. Your total cost is therefore 2300 baht plus the 1500 baht drink tab you now have to pay. But oh well. Chances are you might be paying that much somewhere else with or without the girl. So the fuck’s going to cost you exactly $65.71 at the exchange rate of 35 baht to the dollar. If you include the drinks it’s $108.57.

But it really costs even more. The short time room costs another 350 baht. Your total price if you include the drinks is $118.57. And just what are you getting for that?

You end up banging her four times.

But it takes you  three visits to the short time room to do that. She has the perfect little body. While in the short time room the first time, you get her phone number because you are really intending to make her your Walking Street mistress. But you must admit that it would be all about sex. The first time she’s pretty good, French kissing you in the short time room and she gives you good head.

You try text messaging her a week later, to tell her you are coming again to her go go bar. But she never replies. Which is all too typical of the average good looking Walking street go go girl. You are surprised when you go back into her go go bar, has a drink by your lonesome and then she finally she joins at your table.

But you tell yourself, “Birds in the attic.  Nobody at home.  Just what the hell can I expect from a Pattaya go go girl?

After banging her the first time, the two of you go back into her go go bar to drink still more tequila together. But your are still very horny and want to do her a second time, but then you  to pay for the short time room again and you will have to pay still another 800 baht bar fine. Next time you won’t be making that mistake again.

The next time you go into the go go bar she wants 3000 baht for long time. So you offer her 2000 baht for 2 or 3 hours in the short time room while explaining to her that you aren’t a stupid tourist.

You end up  with her in the short time room for around 2 hours. First thing she does as soon as you enter the room is she turns on the t.v. to watch one of those idiotic Thai television stations.  But the picture is not very good so she turns off the t.v. and starts sending text messages on her smart phone.

You gently take it away from her. Then you have sex two times. Then it’s back to her bar for a few more tequilas. But there was none of that French kissing like there was that first time, and it isn’t until you go back to her bar and have a few tequilas that she finally starts to relax.  But that costs another 50 dollars.  It’s far cheaper to just give her Valium.

You do her the last time one week later.

You take a friend along, and he meets a very attractive girl. So the two of you bar fine both girls and wind up banging the girls in short time rooms that are just down the hall from each other. You wind up being completely underwhelmed by the experience.

That’s contestant number one. She’s only about five foot tall and she weighs 40 kilos which is precisely 88 pounds. She’s a spinner but she’s got a perfect little body and you are still in love with those gorgeous breasts of hers. There’s still a chance that you  can make her yours.  Money after all can do lots of good things for a man. And who knows, once she starts to get to know you a lot better she might really start to like you.

That’s cause you are one self confident mother fucker. On the other hand, you get the feelin that she really would prefer a Thai guy. After all she’s been brainwashed by the system here, and some girls, no matter what a man does, really prefers men with itty bitty 4 inch dicks.

Contestant number two

The Walking Street Mistress doesn't look like this
This is not contestant number 2. I will not take pictures of her or put them online. This is Leah Layne who was an American feature entertainer. When you think contestant number 2 think of a woman with this kind of body. Like Leah, she’s tall, she’s slender. Her body s firm to the touch. She’s all woman

She’s tall. Her height’s 167 centimeters and she weighs 49 kilos. This makes her five foot six and about 108 pounds. Her body also is just about as perfect as it gets. But when you are holding onto her, it seems like you are completely enveloped. As for her breasts, they are long with succulent nipples. Like the Walking Street girl’s breasts, they are a baby’s delight. But they are bigger and in proportion to her larger body. Unlike a lot of Thai women she has no belly whatsoever.

Although she doesn’t look the same she resembles Leah Lane,

in the sense that she’s got a tall statuesque body with wonderful proportions. But her breasts are all natural. There’s no silicon which means they taste all so good.

To be fair,  You have  known her off and on for about two years now. But I’d be with her two or three times, then suddenly she’d disappear, and I wouldn’t see her again for a few months. Her performance had always been first rate. I found her at Red Point so every time I’d walk past Red Point, I’d see whether or not she had returned. I haven’t been with a single Red Point girl since the last time I was with her. This is because I never saw a girl standing in front of the place, that could even begin to match her.

I was on my way to Walking Street to meet several of my friends, and as I oftentimes did I walked down Soi Six on the way down to Beach Road to get on a baht taxi simply to enjoy the scenery and to see which girls I already knew were working tonight. Suddenly I heard my name being called out, and then

she suddenly appeared by my side in the middle of the street.

I had a single drink with her. Only this time I didn’t make the same mistake I had always made before. I got her phone number. And then I went down to Walking Street to join my friends and I ended up banging the go go girl who I had just text messaged.

When I saw her again, it was in a hotel room. I set the whole thing up with her. And unlike the Walking Street go go girl who couldn’t manage to reply to a single text message she were able to work out all the details of the arrangement together. I even managed to buy a few breezers and wine coolers from a 7-11 which I put in the hotel room’s fridge.

We stayed in the room together for several hours, relaxing and talking when we were not having sex. I learned that she had only worked as a sex worker in the Soi Six Bars. Her previous employment history had been at places such as Home Pro and Homart where she had worked as a sales clerk making only 7000 baht per month. That’s just $200 a month, which was not nearly enough to pay the 4000 baht she had to pay for her room, and her daughter from her irresponsible ex Thai husband who had moved onto other women.

She’s the second Soi Six girl I’ve been with who had a normal job history.

I found both girls to be completely different from your typical Pattaya sex worker. For one thing, both of them had learned that they had to actually get up at a reasonable hour in the morning in order to make a living. Both of them had learned that they had to follow the orders of their superiors and to follow company rules. I found it very relaxing to be with the first, just as I would soon be finding it to be very pleasant and relaxing to be with this new girl.

There was none of this, “Buy me drink. Buy drink for sister, buy drink for mamasan, the waitress and the Soi dog lying just outside the go go bar. Both women were an entirely different breed of woman than what is found in the go go’s.

Part of the reason is their age.

The first was 39 years old. The new girl’s 32. Now here’s the thing that is typical of women in their thirties compared to girls in their twenties and even younger. Older women have a sense of their mortality. They know that their shelf life is diminishing and that they don’t have many of their prime years left. So they are much more appreciative of the good things that come their way in life. Especially when it comes to men. Good men that is.

But I digress too much. It’s time to get back to this new woman. Who no doubt no longer sees herself in her prime, but I see as a nearly perfect specimen of feminity. Sex with her is inexplicably torrid. She makes me come three times. She tells me she’s come many times as we lie together calmly drinking our Bacardi breezers. I tell myself that if she hasn’t, she’s done one helluva job acting. But I have to admit that I have a terrific body as an old fart. I believe her. Who wouldn’t want to have a body like mine.

Having sex with her reminds me of the movie, the “Stefford Wives.”

In the movie all the men in a small community form a men’s club. Their wives have become too demanding. And too bossy.

So the men have operations performed on their wives to turn them into robots. The re-engineered wives now dote on their husbands. They clean their houses to perfection. They spend hours each day shopping for food and cooking gourmet meals for their husbands. And they perform great sex on queu. But they have become robots. They no longer have free will. They have each lost the personality that makes each woman unique and special.

This new girl will never become a robot. She will always have a mind, but what separates her from much younger girls, such as contestant number one from the Walking Street go gos is “she has a mind.” And if she’s a brilliant actress when she’s having sex with me, so what! She’s empowering my manhood and that’s what’s important.

She starts calling me every day

after that first time in the hotel room. I get a hard on whenever I think about having sex with her. I have to do it with her again.

But when we do, she tells me she wants to give me a massage. She has me lying on my stomach as she works her hands from my ankles all the way up to my neck. Finally she has me lying on my back as I gaze upwards at her beautiful breasts. I can’t help from wanting to kiss her, which I do, and then I start to suck on her succulent breasts.

But I must leave. I have things to do, but she wants me to stay, so I tell her I will see her soon.

The third time, I spend just forty-five minutes with her in the short time room. She asks me if I want to have a massage. I do, but there’s too little time. I need to be somewhere else. But there’s one thing I forgot to mention about this third time. That is, I met her at 10 a.m. If I had told her I wanted to see her at 9 a.m., I’m sure she would have been there for me at 9 a.m.

Which brings us back to contestant number 1.

The last two times I had sex with her I asked her what time she had gotten up that day. Both times she told me she had gotten herself out of bed at 5 o’clock in the afternoon. Sorry, but I simply do not respect people who sleep in until 5 o’clock in the afternoon. With the exception that is for hard-working people who have to work regular jobs on the night shift. I’ve been with too many Thai women who hibernate for 12 or 14 hours a day. And once back in the U.S. I had a very pretty prostitute stay with me for months on end, and I had to watch her sleep away the afternoons like a lazy cow.

I see visions before me of contestant number 2, going to the Walking Street discos after she finishing her shift trying to pick up one last short time in all those dimly lit rooms full of all those cheap charlies with shit for brains. Perhaps she’s going to those Thai Karoeke bars to be with a lot of Thai men. Many Thai bar girls do, especially young go go girls. It is common for many of them who get paid 2000 baht for short times to pay Thai men for sex in the Karoeke bars. The thought of my having to pay a girl 2000 baht for short time that she will then use to pay a Thai man for sex makes me want to puke.

Do I have any Japanese men reading any of this?

How does it feel paying Walking Street go go girls 3000 or 5000 baht for sex only to have them go out and hire Thai guys to have sex with them on your dime? Hey, you guys in Nippon actually have to work hard for a living. Most of you are very well educated. All your lives you’ve had to work very hard whether it’s going to school to get a superior education, working hard in your jobs, or running the family business. I respect you guys.

But if you think you are gaining face by throwing all your money around in the go go bars, think again. Most of these Walking Street go go girls have Thai boyfriends and I don’t mean the good Thai guys but the lazy kind of men who have no problem living off their girlfriends.

And the winner is

I need to wind this whole thing up. I seriously doubt if contestant number one will ever call me, and even if she did, it wouldn’t really matter.  Wouldn’t put it past her to start text messaging her friends on facebook while I’m banging her in the missionary position. But I’m sure looking forward to getting my next massage from contestant number 2. Because not only will I be getting great sex. I will also be having great conversation. And I will be getting a great drinking companion to boot where the beers are just 85 to 90 baht.   Obviously a Walking Street Mistress is not in the cards.

Go Go Bars, Pattaya Beer Bars, Soi Six Bars, Uncle Bufford bar girl advice Column

Go go bars have become rip-off Pattaya clip joints

Leave a comment

Pattaya clip joints are  go go bars which relentlessly pressure their customers to buy lady’s drinks at high prices.   Over the past few years Pattaya go go bars have entered a downward spiral that offer their customers the worse of all worlds.

First off, there’s the drinking experience itself in which go go dancers descend upon their customer victims like vultures whose single minded goal is to extract as many high priced drinks from each customer victim as possible.   Then there’s the sexual experience, which if there is any, is about the highest priced one can find in a city that offers so many better options.    Lastly there’s the main reason that attracts so many men to Pattaya in the first place which is to empower one’s manhood.   More often than not,  the customer feels so taken advantaged of that he feels as if he’s been de-balled.

I want to describe this form of clip joint activity in three steps. 1. How go go bars used to be run in the good old days, 2. How they are run now, and 3. What recently happened to me at a Pattaya Go Go bar that is far from Walking Street and much closer to Sois 7 and Soi 5.

The Man tour
Since coming to Thailand with the Mantour, most Pattaya go go bars have become Pattaya clip joints in which coyote bar girls are compelled to ram 50 ladies drinks down their customers throats every 10 days.

1. The way things used to be in the good old days

A few years ago, when I went to go go bars,  the basic concept of ladies drinks was to break the ice between a go go girl whose English skills were usually not very good and prospective customers wishing to buy her out of the bar. Whether in Bangkok or in Pattaya the scenario went like this:

A customer comes into the go go bar.  The girls dancing on the stage are all wearing numbers.  When the customer is interested in one of the girls he either gets her attention by motioning  her to come over and have a drink with him or he tells a waitress or the mamasan to have number 17 (for example) to join him for a drink.  The girl soon joins him for a drink.  The potential customer will then often negotiate a price with her for either short time or long time.  This was usually around 1000 baht although I’ve had a couple go go girls willing to go home with me for 500 baht.

If a waitress or mamasan entered into such discussions at all it was usually to interpret for the customer what the go go girl was telling him or explaining to the go go girl what the customer was saying. Back in those good old days, the waitresses and mamasans would typically leave the negotiated price between the customer and the girl.

This is what we looked forward to in the old days when the promises of the Man Tour experience also applied to the Pattaya go go bars.

Although Pattaya is still probably the best place to be on earth for all those boy-girl adventures we all dream about,  most go go bars have become  Pattaya clip joints.

2. In the new clip joint era of today

The customer gets absolutely the worse drinking–female companionship type of experience one can possibly imagine.   Sadly the  go go bars here have become Pattaya clip joints.  Thanks to the coyote bar girl epidemic taking over Pattaya go go bars, customers are constantly being pummeled to buy one ladies drink after another at a machine gun pace.

The go go girls typically have 10 day contracts with the go go bars that require the girls to sell at least 50 ladies drinks every 10 days.  So here you are in one of the Pattaya clip joints.  You are out with several friends wanting to have a relaxing night out on the town. You probably also are wanting to take an attractive girl home with you to empower your manhood. Our tour guide told us was the best thing about Thai women when I first visited Thailand with the Man Tour was that Thai women empowered a man’s manhood.

 But that was 12 years ago.

Today in most of Pattaya’s go go bars the customer winds up having his manhood dismembered.  He winds up feeling humiliated while his wallet has a deep hole in it.

Here’s what happens.  Especially if he’s assessed by the mamasan or go go dancers as being new to the go go scene.   The first girl descends on him like a bird of prey.  What happens next is that either the girl, waitress, or mamasan immediately asks him to buy a ladies drink.  This is typically synthetic orange juice.  Since there’s no alcohol in it the girl can easily consume practically unlimited quantities of such cheap stuff at 140 baht or more a pop.  The next step is for the mamasan or waitress to ask the victim for a ladies drink also.  Chances are the customer has ordered a beer for himself at say 140 baht so when he buys the waitress and the bar girl one ladies drink each he’s out 420 baht already.

 At this point he’s only five minutes into this ball game.

So what happens next?

The go go girl’s sister makes an immediate appearance. The go go girl now asks him: “Buy drink for sister me?” Chances are the go go girl’s English is absolutely dreadful so if you think you are going to get any fun filled dialogue out of these girls, forget it.  So you buy the sister (who 90 percent of the time is not the girl’s sister) an orange juice looking ladies drink.  You are now out nearly 600 baht.

The object of your fond desires now asks you for a second ladies drink. If you politely refuse she will most likely leave you within the next 10 minutes so to keep the ball game in play you comply hoping you are going to have sex with her later on.  By this time you are buying yourself a second beer or a Tequila.

Within the first 20 minutes your bar bill is over 1000 baht.  For this kind of money you could already be banging a Soi Six girl, but never mind.  If you are onto the fact that this is their ball game and not yours, you indicate to the girl, waitress or mamasan that you want to make boom boom with the girl.

Now comes the bad news.

It’s before midnight.  The go go bar wants the girl to get even more ladies drinks out of suckers like you.  So her bar fine is 1500 baht.  You are also informed that you must pay at least 2000 baht just to short time the girl.  You can wait for midnight to come of course and then you will be getting this magnificent deal of getting to bar fine this vulture for just 1000 baht.

But if you stay at this go go bar until midnight chances are you will be paying a lot more than the 500 baht you would be saving by going after the cheaper bar fine.  Say you go for it and decide to bar fine her straight off.

Let’s see.  You’ve probably already run a drink tab of at least 1000 baht.  You wind up having to pay a 2000 tip to the girl for sex and you get to pay the bar a 1500 baht bar fine. So you wind up paying 4500 baht for just one hour of sex and you might just have to pay at least 300 baht for a short time room on top of all that. Your total price for having sex with this women amounts to 4800 baht which comes out to about $140.00 in American money.

And if this is not bad enough, she now either can go back to the go go bar to find another sucker like you or she will go back to celebrate with her Thai boyfriend.  And trust me, over 90 % of all Pattaya go go girls have Thai boyfriends.

3. In the go go bar that’s between Soi 5 and Soi 7.

You can take the girls to an upstairs room for 500 baht here.  So the convenience here is much better than it is down on Walking Street. There’s also no bar fine per se.  Which is a big plus.

Over one year ago I banged my first and only go go girl from this particular establishment.  The girl asked 1000 baht for short time sex. But when I pointed out to her that the price of the room was 200 baht too high compared to the competition I got her to ask me just 800 baht for her tip.

But a few months after that I heard that this go go bar was charging 1500 baht for bar fines.  So I later asked the go go bar owner what the club’s policy was on bar fines and what I must pay to have sex with the girls. I understood the man to tell me that customers had to pay 500 baht to use the upstairs rooms, but as for what the go go girls got for their “tips” this was a matter that was strictly between them and their customers.  So–if a girl was happy with getting 1000 baht from me such as the girl I had taken upstairs before, that was fine with this go go bar owner.

Several weeks later, I had one of the girls drinking with me.

I offered her 1000 baht to have sex with her. And if she didn’t speak English well enough to understand me, I made it very clear that I’d be paying the bar 500 baht for the room upstairs and 1000 baht to her by making repeated hand signals and gestures towards her and the upstairs. She agreed to my offer so I told the mamasan that I was paying my bill and bar fining the girl. The mamasan then presented me a bill that included the girl’s tip at 2000 baht.

“No, No, No.” I told the mamasan. “I pay the girl. We already decide on my tip for boom boom.” This is unacceptable to the mamasan who insists that I must pay the bar instead of the girl for sex. So I tell the mamasan, “Big boss tell me that I pay tip to the girl. Girl and I already decide how much I must pay her. Let me speak to the owner.”

“Owner not here now,” the mamasan tells me. You pay this much, which she’s showing me on my bin.” “Okay.  Not take lady,” I tell the mamasan. I pay only my bin for drinks (which is about 1000 baht). I end up settling my bar bill of 1000 baht and promptly leave the place.

Two weeks later. There’s a shapely go go girl I’m attracted to

who’s nearly five feet eight inches tall.  I’m pretty hot on her.  She’s sat with me a couple of times before.

Only a few days ago, I had talked to the bar owner again–this time about the incident where a mamasan horned in on my 1000 baht arrangement with one of his girls.  “Oh, we have a 1500 baht minimum” he told me.  This is because when a girl charges less for her tip the other girls get angry with her.  So to eliminate this problem all the girls must now charge at least 1500 baht.

I want the tall girl  so I’ve made up my mind that I will tip her 1500 baht.

As soon as I enter the go go bar another girl takes me inside and she’s very pretty.  But about the time the girl sits next to me, the tall girl comes up to us.  I  tell the new girl  “I love her too much,” while pointing at the 172 centimeter tall girl.  The new girl immediately backs off which leaves me with the object of my fondest desires. Billy Bob’s with me also and I’ve already told him, “I got a bad feeling about this one. I will pay her 1500 baht and not one baht more.  I think this is just another one of Pattaya clip joints.  Just like the ones on Walking Street.

Right off the girl asks me to buy her a tequila and an orange.

“What?” I ask her. You want two drinks? One orange and one tequila?

“No. Together,” she tells me.

I’m totally confused. Is she having a little orange mixed with her tequila?” I ask myself. “Because surely she’s not so greedy as to ask me to pay for two drinks at the same time.

This place is certainly starting to smell like all those other Pattaya clip joints ”

But I’m wrong. She’s that greedy. I order for myself a bottle of beer. My bar bill’s already 441 baht. I gotta get busy.

“You must sell 50 drinks in 10 days,” I ask her.

“Yes.”

“Bingo.”  Now I’m 100 percent certain that this is just another example of the  Pattaya clip joints that is ruining this city.  I got a coyote bar girl in my lap now,” I tell myself. “The number one species of vultures of all vultures here in Pattaya. That explains this place now.”

“So, if I buy you one ladies drink for 140 baht you keep the entire 140 baht?” I ask her.

“No. I sell 51 drinks then I get blah blah blah blah.”

I”m totally confused now. And I really don’t care. She’s a vulture and that’s all there is to it.

“I want another drink”

“Not yet. I want boom boom you. I give you 1500 baht short time. Okay?

“I want 2000 baht.”

“1500 baht. Okay.”

“Other men in bar are tourists. Me same same khun Thai. I get discount so I pay you 1500 baht.”

I now pull out my wallet and show her my Thai driver’s license.

“See, khun Thai. Not tourist.”

By now the waitress arrives to charge me for my drinks and bar fine. The waitress tells me, “You must pay her 2000 baht.”

“If she agrees with me for 1500 baht this is okay with Big Boss I tell the waitress. And this time the owner is there right across the room from us. I mention his name to the waitress.

“He not big boss,” the waitress tells me.

“Well who is?” I tell myself. Certainly not his Thai girlfriend. It is this falang who is paying the bills and not his destitute Thai girlfriend. But so it is with most of these Thais. Falang only must pay money. He have no rights. Dog is more important than him.”

The deal is off. This one’s a greedy bitch.

Her ordering two drinks at the same time proves it. Would she have gone upstairs with me for 1500 baht had the waitress not interfered? Who knows. Call it 50-50. I tell the girl that I will be boom booming someone else within the next hour or so and that I will be paying the girl just 1000 baht.

She says: “You angry with me?”

“No,” I tell her. “Not angry. You very pretty lady but I never even pay as much as 1500 baht. I not same same as other customers in this bar”

So I leave and Billy Bobs still with me. Except I forgot to mention something. I’ve just done a huge favor for Billy Bob and he’s so happy that he’s already offered to pay for my boom boom with the tall lady. I had told Billy Bob that I would accept his offer but that I’d never pay the tall go go girl 2000 baht. Billy Bob then said it didn’t matter. He’d gladly pay 2000 baht for my boom boom. Or even more.

But I gots my pride. Billy Bob and I move onto another bar. It’s on Soi Six.

A pretty girl greets me at the bar entrance.

She’s short whereas the go go girl was very tall for a Thai woman at just under five foot eight. This one’s barely over my waist. But she’s cute, and already she’s cuddling up next to me. Right off she gets me a beer and doesn’t even ask me for anything for herself. Within five minutes she’s massaging my dick and here she hasn’t even asked me for a drink.

I get her a drink. Because she deserves one. Plus, I will probably be boom booming her pretty soon so I want her to have enough alcohol in her so that she really feels like empowering my manhood. We have a couple drinks together while I’m getting this wonderful massage right where it counts, plus she’s kissing me all over my face. But such is life n the promised land.  This place is certainly not one of those infamous Pattaya clip joints

I take her upstairs, but

so far I’ve only had to pay the 300 baht room charge that goes to the bar plus the drinks.

She’s happy with my promise to pay her 1000 baht. She takes a shower in the room, then I take a shower. When I come out of the shower she’s already lying in the bed with her legs wide open inviting me in.

When we finally go back downstairs together Billy Bob’s still sitting where we had left him.

“Been waiting for long?” I ask Billy Bob.

“Only an hour and fifteen minutes,” he replies.

“You gotta be shitting me.”

“No. It might have even been longer.”

“We must have tried just about every position, and not just once but twice. And you know what, Billy Bob? I was thinking you the entire time. This means so much to me your paying for this fuck. I will treasure this moment for the rest of my life.”

That last example of the go go epidemic of Pattaya clip joints ripped me off for the last time.

I’d rather go to a beer bar every time. Even if the girls are butt ugly,

they are happy just to have me get them just one drink. And oftentimes they are massaging my back or legs while we are drinking together. Drinks are typically 90 baht. I even know of one beer bar where the gin and tonics are just 60 baht.

And as for the Soi Six bars? Most of them ask about 90 baht for a bottle of beer. And you aren’t getting high pressured to buy girls all those drinks. The goal of most of the girls on Soi Six is to convince you to take them upstairs as soon as they can get you in the mood. And once they do get you up there, their next goal is to make you so happy that you will be coming back to them again and again.

So my advice to all of you reading these words of advice is to leave all the go go bars alone. With the possible exception that is when go go bar 1. Does not persistently hound you with all those coyote girl vultures and 2. Leaves it entirely between you and the girl what you agree on for her tip if you short time or long time her.

The Sequel to the go go bar between Sois 5 and 7

If one calls me a cheap charlie for tipping the first girl just 800 baht over a year ago, I have this to say.  First…..After boom booming her several weeks later I sat at the bar alone where she joined me.  I bought her a couple of drinks. Then I told her I was heading out to Walking Street.  But she sat there in my arms, happy to be having a drink or two and in my company. Then she disappeared.

Later when I was carousing with Billy Bob on Walking Street  a wholesome looking girl yelled out my name

in the middle of Walking Street. So I walked back to her. The girl asks me to join her at a new go go in Walking Street she had just started working for. She looked very familiar to me, and she was just, nice. Not at all like most go go girls.

I told her I’d see her soon and then Billy Bob and I went into Super Girls. I had just one beer there as I pondered where I had known the mystery girl from. And then it dawned on me. She was the go go girl I had once boom boomed on Soi 6 for 800 baht. After having just one beer at Super Girls I went joined my friend at the new go go bar where we had a few drinks together.

She was having a birthday party the next week and I promised to visit her on her birthday. But when I went the next week, I never saw her at the bar. She was nice. Very nice. But when I asked her about why she had stopped working at the go go bar where I had boom boomed her she told me that she didn’t like the bar owner.  This girl was about as straight a girl as you will find in a go go bar.  So I figured she didn’t like working in the Pattaya clip joints

We now go back to only a couple of weeks ago.

The tall girl had a sister working with her at her go go, which was complete bullshit I think.  Anyways, we were all in that place together and two girls were sitting with Billy Bob and me. I had way too much tequila that night and so had the girl who was sitting with me.

We were all sittin in front of this long stage where several girls were dancing in front of the long couch we were all sitting on. The sister got so drunk on tequila that she kept pulling my dick out of my shorts and showing it off to the girls dancing in front of us. But when I offered to take the girl upstairs, she refused.

In fact she didn’t even offer me a price. Not 1000 baht. Not 2000 baht or even 5000 baht. She only told me that she hated the mamasan. So she and the girl sitting with Billy Bob started talking up a party to be held in my condo building. They were from Sattahip or Ban Serai. I figured this wasn’t going to be happening because it was a long say from Sattahip and my condo.

But brother, was I wrong.

Three times those two girls came to my condo building looking for me.

And I can guarantee I’d be boom booming the girl who had kept playing with my dick for 1000 baht. And not just for short time. I mean long time. Anyways I don’t go around bringing just any girl up to my condo. That’s my private castle. So I wound up giving the entire thing a pass. And now I think both girls are over working upstairs at the Windmill down on Walking Street.

I have never seen a customer ever take a girl upstairs in that go go girl those girls used to work for. Not since I took that girl up there for 800 baht over a year ago. The place is  a one of many go go Pattaya clip joints.  And the smarter and more honorable girls know it. They aren’t likely to be staying there for very long.

Go Go Bars, Survival tools for Japanese, Uncle Bufford bar girl advice Column

Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans raping go go dancers part 2.

Leave a comment

I am accusing these avaricious Pattaya Mamasans of raping the go go dancers. But I am not accusing these greedy bitches of raping you, dear customer, because you have freedom of choice whereas the girls don’t.

Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans
Money Number One by Neil Hutchison. Tourists who wish to find female companionship in Pattaya should not be allowed to get off the plane in Bangkok until they have read this book at least twice. It is the Bible to surviving being fleeced by Pattaya bar girls

Most tourists will not read this book. But Money Number One and similar books should be required reading for all tourists before they are even allowed to enter Thailand. Unfortunately most tourists seem to know everything and deserve what they get from conniving bar girls

Most Japanese visiting Pattaya go go bars are idiots.

But don’t think for one minute that I am picking on you or that I despise Japanese because I don’t.

In fact, I think that

Most tourists in Pattaya go go bars looking for sex are complete morons because they think they know everything.

Most of them also are totally uninterested in learning from expats such as myself or reading such definitive books about Pattaya bar girls such as Neil Hutchison’s Money Number One.

But most of you Japanese are a special case because you try too hard to be polite.  If Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans tell you to pay the girls 3000 baht for short time sex, you agree to it because you don’t like confrontation.  If Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans ask you to buy 3000 baht for 25 ping pong balls that you can throw at the girls, you pay it because you think this is expected of you.

Well, I’m telling you Japanese this.

“Who gives a shit about what Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans expect of you

Or what greedy go go dancers expect you to pay. You’ve worked hard for your money.  You are smart guys.  At least you are until you walk into all these go go bars like a herd of sheep walking into the slaughter pen.

part 1

The second point I want to make with you Japanese is this.  Perhaps you think it’s cool to be throwing all your hard earned money at these girls.  And if you think this is amusing to the other men in your group, most Westerners view such behavior with total contempt.  We see you as the unwitting victims of the worthless Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans, who are laughing at all of you behind your backs.

On the whole Western men value getting a good deal.  Or at least they take pride in making business arrangements that is fair to both sides.

Until they come to Pattaya as tourists looking for romance or sex.

 But you Japanese have a good excuse.  Whereas Western tourists don’t.

Especially it they have good English skills.  For that matter even German tourists have a rich source of great information available to them in German and English.  For example, Money Number One is also available to them in English.  Also keep in mind that most Germans who come to Pattaya have good English skills.  Unfortunately most of you Japanese don’t.

Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans
Money Number one is also available in German. Unfortunately for you, Japanese it isn’t. So unlike Americans, British, Australians and most Europeans you really don’t have an established guidelines that can keep you from being victimized by predatory mamasans, bar owners and bar girls.

But I am digressing from my whole story line about these Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans so it’s time to move on.  But before getting back to the two girls from Sattahip I’m going to take you back to one year ago, when I met a really nice gal in this same go go bar and wound up banging her.

One year ago at Dolls
(not the Doll House)

I met a girl at Dolls go go bar on Soi 6 about 1 year ago.  She wanted 1000 baht to go short time with me in the room upstairs.  When I pointed out to her, that Dolls was charging 500 baht for the short time room and bar fine whereas all the other bars nearby were charging just 300 baht for their short time rooms and I was banging all the other girls for 800 baht, she agreed to go short time with me for 800  baht.

Two weeks later, I saw her once again.  This time I only bought the two of us a couple of drinks as I sat at the bar with her in my arms.

The next time I saw her was on Walking Street.

I was walking up the street with Billy Bob, from Crazy House go go to Super Girls Go Go  when she called out my name.  We stood in the middle of the street together where she asked me to join her at her  new go go bar.  I promised her that after I had a drink or two at Supergirls, I’d join her at the new go go bar.  I remembered her. She was so familiar.  And so nice.  Almost wholesome and completely unlike most bar girls.

While drinking my beer at Super Girls it suddenly came back to me.  She was the same girl from Dolls go go bar on Soi Six.  I finished my beer and said goodbye to Billy Bob.  And then I went over to the new bar where I spent two or three hours with her.  All we did was drink, and hold each other’s hands.  Innocent stuff like that.  But the place was so new, she didn’t even know what the bar fine was, and it turned out hardly anyone else did either.

She told me that she had big problems back at Dolls with either the club owner or the mamasan and that’s why she had come to Walking Street.  She had a birthday coming up in a week and I promised to come see her on her birthday.  I would have even brought her a gift, but when I went, she wasn’t there.   And she still wasn’t there when I came in a week later and sat with other girls.  I think the bar fine was 1600 baht.  This did not include a tip for the girl.  I never went back again.

BACK TO THE PRESENT WITH THE
TWO  SATTAHIP GIRLS

The two Pattaya go go girls are coming all the way out from Sattahip looking for Billy Bob and me at our Naklua condo.  Meanwhile Billy Bob and go back to the same go go bar where we had found the two women.  But they aren’t there.  Once again we are sitting at that long couch in front of a long stage.  One of the girls tells me:

“I am older sister, girl you see before.  They have day off.”

“Older sister my ass!”  How many times have I heard that one before?  But who cares?  There’s several other good lookers here tonight and the clock’s running.

We were soon joined by two go go dancers Billy Bob and I have never seen before.

After a few tequilas with the girl who’s now sitting on my lap, I come out with it.  “500 baht for room upstairs?”  I ask her while pointing upstairs.  “1000 baht for you.  Boom boom.  Okay?”

Then to make certain there is no misunderstanding, I stick my finger gently into her bosom, and tell her in Thai.  “Pu Ying boom boom.  “Neune pan baht ha roy”.  (1500 baht).  I quickly move my arms apart from each other to signify “altogether or total price I must pay. To make sure she understands, I point to my own pocket while telling her Neun pan baht.  I then point towards the upstairs and once again tell her ha roy baht which means 500 baht.  I tell her bar, then room in English.   Then I ask her in Thai, “Do you understand?”  She tells me yes.

I waive a waitress over to us.  “Check Bin,   I pay bar fine also”

“Ha roy baht  (500 baht) I pay bar for boom boom” as I point at the girl.

I follow the waitress up to the bar.  While looking at the ticket I see that I need to pay 1000 baht for all the tequila the girl and I have been drinking.  So I tell the waitress, “neune pan ha roy baht.  ha roy baht bar fine, 1000 baht for tequila.”  Suddenly the mamasan appears.

Taking my ticket from the waitress mamasan writes on it 2500 baht.

“No mamasan.  I pay 1000 baht for drink.  500 baht bar fine (room upstairs).    Lady and I agree I pay her, not bar, for boom boom.”

“No No no.  You pay this,” she tells me while showing me the prices she’s written on the ticket.

“Up to me and lady, what I must pay for boom boom. ”

But mamasan isn’t listening.

“Okay.  Get Bill.  He own bar.  I talk to him.”

“He not here now.  I am mamasan.  You pay this.”

“No problem then,” I tell the mamasan.  Deal’s off.  I only pay for drink.  I no pay for short time.”

The mamasan changes the ticket to read 1000 baht.  I pay my drink tab and leave the go go bar with Billy Bob.

So why is this mamasan so insistent on my paying the bar instead of the girl direct for the tip we’ve agreed on?

The girl from Sattahip absolutely refused to have sex with me in the go go bar short time room.  It wasn’t my offering to pay her 1000 baht either.  She had not even counter offered.  She never asked me to pay 3000 baht, or 2500 baht, 2000 baht or 1500 baht.  Yet she and her friend had come all the way from  Bangsaray-Sattahip so that they could deal directly with Billy Bob and me.

It turns out, however, that the same two girls came to our condo a second time.  One of the girls had a motorbike, the other didn’t.  So it turns out that “my girl” the one who had the motorbike was the ride for the second girl who had been with Billy Bob.

But as I had mentioned in part 1 of my story, I never bring bar girls to my condo.

I won’t give my reasons here.  I just don’t.  But Billy Bob, now he has other ideas on this subject.  So on this second time the girls came to our condo, Billy Bob took them to a restaurant.  Then he took them both into his condo and drank with them for a couple of hours.

The two girls had to work together so they went down to Walking Street where Billy Bob joined them later.  They had already started working at another go go bar.  Billy Bob went upstairs to drink with them in Windmill go go where he found the bar fine had gone down from 1500 baht to 1000 baht because it was after midnight.

So here’s what I am thinking.

The greedy mamasan caused both girls to quit Dolls go go bar on Soi 6 to seek employment on Walking Street.

Although I can’t prove it, I believe the greedy mamasan is getting a big tip or commission on the tips the go go dancers are getting from their customers.  So if I pay a girl 1000 baht direct for short time sex in the room upstairs, the girl is getting 100 percent of her money.  The bar still makes 500 baht for the short time room rental upstairs and it’s making a lot of money on the high drink prices it’s charging its customers.

So for instance, a Japanese customer comes into this go go bar, and he wants to take a girl upstairs.  The mamasan puts on his ticket 500 baht for the room and 2500 baht short time which is 3000 baht altogether.  What’s probably happened is the mamasan tells the girl, “I’ll get 1500 baht for you which probably more than you would be getting if I didn’t help you considering all the beer bar girls just up the street from us are only getting 1000 baht.  But the mamasan is pocketing 1000 baht from the hapless Japanese tourist who is too polite to argue.

Dolls Go Go on Soi 6 could be getting a lot of expat business if the Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans allowed the girls to set their own prices

There is no way that most expats (men who actually live here in Pattaya full time) are going to pay 2000 to 3000 baht long time when they can go just up the street from a go go bar and get the same sex for just 1000 baht.    Sure, it gives a go go girl big face when she can go out and brag to her friends that she’s getting 2500 or 3000 baht short time.  The reality is that tourist numbers have recently declined to less than half of what it was so all of these high dollar go go dancers with their big faces are just not getting bar fined very often.

If the go go bars hope to survive, they must get tough with their Avaricious Pattaya Mamasans

1000 baht for short time is the magic number for what men should pay for sex in Pattaya.  And any man who pays more is a fool.  Unless, however, he is giving money for a girl whose looks are a 10 out of a 10.

part 1