Category Archives: Pattaya Bar Girls

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Japanese wanting cheaper go-go girls on Pattaya Walking Street

Tired of go-go dancers wanting 1000-1500 baht bar fines and 2000 short time sex?  Japanese wanting cheaper go-go girls read on.

Japanese wanting cheaper go-go girls
Japanese wanting cheaper go-go girls need to continue reading this article in its entirety. They might be getting respect from their colleagues. But the rest of us have zero respect for a man who throws his money around.

In fact, I would be very angry about the way I’m being treated in the Walking Street go-go bars and the kinds of things the girls might be saying about me.

So here’s what I’d do if I were Japanese.

Or anyone with the slightest degree of self respect who wants to have the best possible time at reasonable prices.  But if you are Japanese and you are reading this, you will want to know what people are saying about you.  So that you can change the negative perceptions that  Thais have of Japanese men who frequent go-go bars.  I can say with utmost certainty that Japanese wanting cheaper go-go girls are going to get a lot more respect from Thai go go dancers than the Japanese who cave into their outrageous demands for more and more money.

First off there’s the old three point saying Europeans keep repeating to each other that goes around about Japanese tourists here in Pattaya:  “(1)  2 inches, (2) 5000 baht, (3) thirty seconds.” Let me first of all comment on the subject of 2 inch dicks.

Personally I don’t care if the average Japanese man, Thai man, Australian or whoever has a 2 inch or even a 12 inch dick. But I’d suggest that most men regardless of race have approximately the same size of penis as most other men regardless of nationality or race and that any variances are due to individual differences that have absolutely nothing to do with what country a man’s from.

Such comments are scornful.  But there it is.   People are still making these comments.  And it’s all because Japanese  behavior in  Pattaya’s go-go bar that breeds disrespect.

I know a Soi Six girl quite well who used to work at Bacchara, a go go bar on Walking Street.  When I asked her her much Japanese men typically paid for sex with go-go dancers,  she made the following comments. “They pay 1000 to 5000 baht for short time and THEY HAVE SMALL DICKS.

The only problem with this is months ago she had told me that she had only worked for two weeks at Club Bacchara.  And that she hadn’t really gone with any customers in that time period.  And although I consider her as one of Soi Six’s most desirable women  while she was working at Club Bacchara there must have been nearly one-hundred girls working there.  So she can hardly have ever been considered the queen of the ball at Bachara considering the huge amount of competition she found there.

Her first statement months ago might have been an accurate one.  That she might never have had a single Japanese customer in her entire two weeks on Walking Street.

But even if  she had a Japanese customer or two bar fine her, such a small number hardly gave her a large enough data base from which she could formulate a well-considered opinion on  Japanese dick size.

Back then the bar fines were 1000 baht.  Considering that she was 32 years old and most girls were at least ten years younger it is very likely that she didn’t do very well in her two weeks at Bacchara.  So it’s likely that she and other older girls were gossiping about the Japanese customers in a very negative way.

Now don’t get me wrong, I find this 32 year old woman to be extremely attractive. She has a beautiful body and a very cool way about her. She’s very pleasant to look at.  She has a very appealing sense of humor (to me).  And her sexual skills are awesome. But she looks–well–32.  For me if a woman is taking good care of herself, this puts her at her prime.  But that’s not the way a lot of other men see it. Bottom line is she didn’t do well at Bacchara.  So it’s plausible that she hung around with a lot of  girls who didn’t have a lot of good to say about the club’s very substantial  customer base of Japanese men frequenting the place.

And certainly many Japanese were making complete idiots of themselves in Bachara.

by paying exorbitant amounts of money so that they could hurl ping pong balls onto the stage.  While they watched the girls trample  all over each other for  ping pong balls that they could exchange for baht.

And how many times did we watch three or four go-go girls swarm around a single Japanese customer.  So that they could milk him out of thousands of baht for drinks.  and as for 5000 baht,

 the truth is many Japanese customers do pay 5000 baht for short time sex

while thinking they are getting a great deal for their money compared to what they’d be getting in Japan.

Sorry guys, such foolishness equates to 2 inch dicks to the Thais who have to service men who are so foolish as to pay large amounts of money for so little.  My take is that the men of Nippon deserve more respect.

Then again, like many tourists from the West, it can be said that intelligent tourists  who do quite well in their home countries, leave their brains at the airport and do the most incredibly irresponsible things once they get around the bar girls of Pattaya.

But if you want to know what is really galling to me, it’s that

over 80 percent of these Pattaya Walking Street go go girls have Thai boyfriends living off of them.  It is these men who have the 2 inch dicks; not the Japanese who actually work hard for a living, who are smart and very capable executives, doctors, factory owners, etc

Unfortunately that’s not the way most go-go girls perceive their Thai boyfriends and the much more capable and manly Japanese who frequent their go go bars.

Personally I want to see a lot of such attitudes change so let me start off by telling you how I handled a go go bar girl just a few days ago.

First off, the go-go girl is not one of the dancers. She’s a waitress or service girl. Most of the girls working at her bar are coyote girls commanding a 1000 to 1500 bar fine depending upon whether a customer bar fines the girl before or after midnight. Her bar fine was 800 baht which is more than I’m used to paying.  But still more acceptable than 1000 or 1500 baht.

So once I determined that her bar fine was a lot less than most of the dancers in her bar, I asked her how much she wanted for short time sex. Straight off she tells me she wants 2000 baht for short time so I ask her how much would she charge me if I boom boom her in the toilet.  I suppose she must have found my question to be very funny because she told me she’d have sex with me for 3000 baht in the toilet. I then told her I’d give her 1000 baht to bang her in a short time room.

So was this a good deal for her or wasn’t it?  First off when she gets a 800 baht bar fine, she’s going to split that with her bar so she’s getting 400 baht in her pocket.

She’s also gotten a couple free drinks off me.  And she’s going to get a commission off each drink she’s getting from me. So let’s say she makes a 100 baht commission on the two drinks plus 400 baht from the bar fine plus the 1000 baht I’m giving her for short time. This is 1500 baht to her which amounts to almost $50.00 U.S. money.

Now let’s suppose she didn’t accept my offer. Chances are at the end of the night she would have been 1500 baht poorer. Okay..let’s give her this. I leave. Other customers come in and buy drinks from her. Suppose she gets real lucky and makes 250 baht additional tips from her drink orders. She’s still 1250 baht richer with me than without me. So this is a great deal for her.

And what do I get out of this arrangement?  First off I’m saving 1000 baht on the basic short time price most of the dancers are charging . And by getting a waitress instead of a “super star go-go dancer” I’m paying only an 800 baht bar fine instead of 1000 or even 1500.

So how good was the sex compared to what I might have been getting from a high in demand go go dancer? Well, guys, let me tell you.  The sex was absolutely terrific. This Thai woman is tall. At 162 centimeters she’s nearly five foot four which is the height of the average American or European woman.  And her legs, stomach–the entirety of her body was so firm, so delectable.

Why my brother, Billy Bob’ been crowing about this particular waitress as being “Hot, Hot Hot” and having the most perfect body on Walking Street.

Friends, trust me, it doesn’t get any better than this. Plus I didn’t have any of this crappy ass, I’m Walking Street go go dancer super star attitude.  Which I get from too many go go dancers who cannot even begin to compete with my favorite Soi Six Girls.

So what’s my next move? Hopefully I will bar fine her again but she did tell me she’s going home for awhile and soon.  Okay, here’s how I play this one. If she’s in the club the next time I go to Walking Street, I will make a priority of bar fining her.

So I bar fine her and then I tell her, “Let’s just have one or two tequilas at Crazy House Go-go before we go short time.

She will accept, I can almost guarantee that and when I do there’s a good chance she’s going to be talking to at least one of the go go dancers there.  And when she does the first thing that’s going to be discussed is money.  So she will be asking  “How much money is this American paying you for short time?”

There’s a good chance she might actually tell the truth and tell the girl she’s getting just 1000 baht. And even if she doesn’t, I just happen to know one of the service girls at Crazy House so the next time I go there  I will be sure to tell her that I paid 1000 baht to boom boom the service girl from the other go-go bar. Even if I don’t if one of the more attractive dancers sits with me, I’m going to be telling her I pay just 1000 baht short time.  And the girl I brought in the other night got 1000 baht from me and we will be doing it again.

Now let’s suppose the next time I go into the waitresse’s bar and she’s not there? I can about guarantee that one of the other girls will wanting to steal me away from the waitress and when she comes around me trying to feel my older than God penis up, I will be telling her my price is 1000 baht for short time.

So what I have done is I have established my price at 1000 baht, no more or no less.

One thing I’m not going to do and that is to be paying the tourist rate of 2000-2500 baht for a short time. I might even go to Super Babes where there’s one or two good looking waitresses and bar fine one of them. I think even the bar fines for most of the go go dancers is still around 600 baht and once I bar fine someone there and give the girl 1000 baht for short time, I can tell the next girl “my price is 1000 baht.”

So here’s the deal guys. In Thailand money is number one.

One might say that in Japan honor is number one or that it is important to have a great education, to do the best job possible, to tell the truth, and so on. That’s what I admire about Japan, and believe me, in general I like Japanese people very much.

But a lot of Thais do not respect this. They see English, German or American men ringing the bell and buying drinks for an entire bar and they lose respect for the customer for parting with his money so foolishly and for nothing. They see Japanese men buying up a lot of ping pong balls and throwing it at the girls.  And they perceive this as “stupidly throwing money away.” The employees and go-go girls are now perceiving their Japanese customers as the easiest of all to take advantage of.  But the truth is Japanese men do not deserve so little respect. I will now put one last thought in your minds.

When I was bar fining the waitress the mamasan came up to us and asked me, “What are you giving her?” If I were Japanese I might have been polite and said, “one thousand baht.”

If I had been polite, the mamasan would have then said, “Why you can’t do that. You must give her 1500 baht or 2000 baht.” So what happens then? The mamasan would have demanded the higher price and if I wouldn’t pay it she would have told the waitress–“ you can’t go with this customer. You must stay and take care of the customers as a waitress.” If I caved into the mamasan’s demands she would told the waitress later on, “Look, I got you a higher price than you were asking so I want a share of the increased money I got for you.”

Lesson to be learned is this…NEVER, NEVER DEAL WITH THE MAMASAN. I told the mamasan that what I was giving the waitress was up to me and up to the waitress and not up to her. In other words, I was telling her this is none of your business so fuck off.

But I put it a little more nicely than that. So there it is….work it out between yourselves and get that price down—a lot. Even if you can’t speak English or Thai use sign language if you have to or get one of your Japanese buddies to help you out.

Just remember that a lot of these go go girls are going home alone. They need the money. And most of them need a lot of help on how the math works out, that a thousand baht is a lot better than not getting barfined.   If you get that price down (a lot) and stop throwing all those ping pong balls these girls will respect you a lot more.   And even if they don’t, who cares.  Money is, after all, number one.  Just make sure you are not getting the short end of the stick  when it comes to the money. Above all remember that Japanese wanting cheaper go-go girls get a lot more respect than the Japanese customer who simply agrees to whatever the mamasans and go go dancers demand.

If you are Japanese you will especially enjoy reading Japanese Politeness is Ruining Walking Street.  Because it represents the personal views of a lifelong friend of mine who just happens to be Japanese.

Beautiful Walking Street go-go girl wearing glasses

I never sat next to the beautiful Walking Street go-go girl wearing  glasses.  She never sat at our table.  And she never spoke with me. She would have probably tried to  milk me out of  all the drinks she could get.    Figuring I was a tourist who didn’t know better.

Huh, a beautiful Walking Street go-go girl wearing glasses

But Billy Bob and I kept noticing the beautiful Walking Street go-go girl wearing  glasses whether she was dancing on the stage or sitting across the room from us with her latest customer.  But it was the glasses that made this girl stand out from all the other girls. Sure, she had a beautiful trim little body.  But many other go go dancers at the Light House were equally attractive. Thing is, not many Thai women wear glasses, or at least not here in Pattaya where reading is totally unimportant.

Many customers coming into the Light House no doubt felt that she was sharper than the rest.  Therefore she was worth   getting to know for her brain as much as her looks.

But tonight we never bothered to go into the Light House.  Even though it has great eye candy and is good for a happy hour priced drink or two.   Bottom line is nothing eventful ever happened to me there , and at 150 baht for a beer, I at least expect the girl I’m sitting with to do her best to titillate me.

Take the last time I was at Crazy House for example. It was that Jacuzzi girl who got to me.  As she showed off her beautiful naked body while giving me the eye from across the room.  Our eyes met, she smiled at me.  Fifteen minutes later she came over to me and sat in my lap. Then she started touching my stomach.  Then she took my nipples into her mouth and started biting down on them.

Now that got my attention real fast. But the Light House? “Nada. Nothing. Zilch. No action.  So screw it,

I’m taking a pass on it tonight.” So we went to Crazy House where the Jacuzzi girl wasn’t.  Then we went to the Palace A Go Go where  the Beautiful Walking Street go-go girl wearing glasses joined us.

I hadn’t realized that Billy Bob already knew her.  But Billy Bob likes the go-go bars a lot more than I do, so here she was sitting across from me. She was friendly enough. She was even polite to me, but I knew she was one of those high dollar girls.

Billy Bob told me once that she had told a man that she would quit working in the go go club if he paid her family 50,000 baht a month. Which didn’t even count what he’d have to pay her.  But but you gotta figure it’s going to be 75 ,000 to 100,000 baht altogether. So we are talking about $2500 to $3000 a month now, which is one helluva lot for a girl who probably doesn’t have more than a sixth grade education.  But…who knows? Perhaps she’s worth it if a man’s got a lot of money to blow.  And she’s got a brain and some good conversation ability.

Most of the girls in the Palace Go go were up on the stage were looking across at themselves in the mirror

while hardly noticing the customers. Which didn’t bother me in the least. I was with Billy Bob and whenever we are together we are going to have a great time no matter what happens. Straight off, Billy Bob buys the girl wearing the glasses a drink.  Which surprises the hell out of me because Billy Bob is cheap when it comes to the wimmen.

But this one,  this beautiful Walking Street go-go girl wearing glasses got an attitude.

It’s not that she’s talking too much or talking trash. And it’s not that the beautiful Walking Street go-go girl wearing glasses is pushy. It’s just too obvious to me that she has a very high opinion of herself. I look at her, studying her intently.

And oh yes, she’s got a great body. But she’s very pretty also. I imagine her not wearing her glasses and decide that she’s going to look a lot better with them than without. Suddenly I come up with a mischievous thought. I take the bill for my drink out of the bin, hold it up in front of her, and ask: “Can you read this bin without your glasses?” But then Billy Bob, he pulls her glasses straight off her face so he must be thinking the same thing I’m thinking. After laying the bill down on the table, he suddenly blurts out: “This is just plain glass. These glasses are non-proscription.”

We’ve caught the girl with the fake glasses out.  Billy Bob says, “Last week you were telling me you were wearing contacts so you were not wearing your. Are they made of non-prescriptive glass too?” Without hesitating the girl replies: “I need to wear glasses because of the light in here.”

To which I might reply, “This is not LOS” (the land of smiles)–it is LOL (the Land of Lies). But no matter. We’d hit a couple of more go go bars afterwards where I’d find a new conquest.  Perhaps a waitress with a perfect body.  And trust me, there will be none of that coyote go go high dollar pricing to go with the terrific time I’ll be having with the service girl.

Japanese politeness is ruining Pattaya Walking Street

Ironically it is Japanese politeness that is ruining the Pattaya Walking Street go go bars.  The cause is Japanese men agreeing to outrageous pricing.

With the word getting out  how much cheaper it is to buy sex in Pattaya than in Japan,

I know about Japanese politeness personally
My good friend Takoi and my Thai girlfriend in Tokyo 5 years ago. Takoi and I became good friends when we were in our mid twenties. I was getting my MBA from St. Louis University while he was getting his Masters in Engineering. Now that over 40 years have passed we are still great friends.  So is my friend oftentimes over polite?  You bet he is.  He’s Japanese and a great friend.

Japanese tour groups have gone overboard in targeting Pattaya as a premiere hunting ground for beautiful available women.

Although not long ago certain go go bars such as Super Girls, Super Babes and Baccharat have been targeting  the Japanese, the incursion of Japanese men had been limited only to a few clubs.

This incursion has recently become an invasion that has taken over most of the Walking Street Go Go bars.   This pestilence has been the ruination of the Walking Street go go bars.  And the pestilence cuts two ways.  1.  It’s ruinous  for those who are unwilling to pay the outrageously high prices Japanese men are willing to pay.  And 2. Even the Japanese  will seek cheaper countries when their Pattaya go bar playground’s pricing gets too high.

There are currently seven go go bars that have the same owners. These include the Lighthouse, Crazy House, Bacchara, and the Shark Club.

Back in 2006, most of Pattaya’s Go Go bars charged 600 baht bar fines of 600 baht while the girls charged 1000 baht for short time and 1500 baht long time.  With the American dollar at 40 baht, this meant that a man could bar fine a go go girl for $15.00.   Take her home  for $25.00.   All for just $40.00.

Fast forward to the present now that hordes of Japanese tourists have descended on Pattaya’s go go bars.  And how Japanese politeness is ruining the Walking Street Go Go bars for everyone.

  The typical bar fine is currently 1000 to 1500 baht now that the coyote way of doing business has come to dominate the Walking Street go go bars.  Meanwhile short time prices have escalated to  2000 baht to 2500 baht.

At today’s exchange rate of 32 baht to the American dollar this represents $100 to $125.00 for just one short time and that’s not even including all the high priced drinks one’s likely to consume beforehand.

It’s not going to be very long before we will be approaching $200.00 for a single short time with a Pattaya go go girl.    One of the primary reasons for this is Japanese politeness.  Specifically it’s  when Japanese men  too readily agree to  the outrageous demands  go go bars and the girls are ramming down their throats.

Take the practice of convincing a go go bar’s customers into buying all those ridiculously priced ping pong balls

Customers throw the ping pong balls at the go go girls.  Who then scurry shamelessly across the floor on their hands and knees trying to gather as many as they can.  The girls then turn in their captured ping pong balls for cash.

You’ve seen the signs on the walls of the go go bars.  Especially on the bathroom walls screaming out at the customers.

“Be a nice guy.  Be a real king among men and buy fifty ping pong falls for a measly 3000 baht?”

Good God, that’s a hundred American dollars and for what?

If you ever see an Englishman or an American falling for this ruse, you are looking at one real stupid sad sack of a man.  I mean really!  But the Japanese are not stupid.  They just seem to be and it’s all on account of their confounded Japanese politeness.

What does a man gain by spending a hundred dollars just to watch a bunch of money hungry women groveling around a floor.   This pantomime  proves conclusively that money is indeed number one in Thailand.   These dumb shows only remind me that a woman is willing to do anything  to get it?

This is in Kyoto almost 4 years ago.  

Does a man get the sexual experience of a lifetime from buying all those stupid ping pong balls?

He should, at those insane price levels.   No self respecting Englishman or American would ever do that.  And if you ever see an American, Englishman or even a German doing it, you can be sure that this man needs to go to a mental institution.

“So why do you Japanese indulge yourselves in such Ping Pong madness?”

“I’ll answer that.”

“It’s because of your confounded Japanese politeness.”

I think you Japanese are very different.

Japanese men are typically polite people who build damn good cars, motorcycles, television sets and wonderful optical  instruments such as cameras and binoculars.

You are making great advances in global climate change.   To my notion you are the most admirable people in Asia.  You are obviously far from stupid.  But you do like to avoid conflict and are not the kind given to haggle over prices.  Especially when it comes to a group of men who have set out on an evening enjoying themselves.

Especially in Pattaya where a man can easily get beaten up or killed for protesting against being overcharged.

My girlfriend always wanted to see snow. Problem was we go to the U.S. in August. When there’s no snow. Ironically we saw too much snow when we went to Japan nearly 4 years ago. A blizzard caused us to miss the miss that would have taken us to our hotel in Tokyo from the airport. So we took a taxi. There was a lot of snow and ice on the road and the taxi spun out and hit the railing. The impact caused my head to strike the taxi’s window. But not too hard. I wasn’t really hurt, but too bad for the taxi driver who would have to pay the damages to his vehicle. He took it in stride, however. It’s the Japanese politeness that kept him from losing his cool.

I can’t ever forget that old Irish friend of mine who got the hell beaten out of him by Thais.

And only because he refused to buy a drink for a Soi 7 bar girl.  The girl asked him to buy her a drink.  He refused.

This didn’t matter to the Englishman who owned the bar,  When my Irish friend finally asked for his bill he noticed he had been charged for a lady drink for the girl he didn’t order.  The English bar owner insisted that he pay the entire bill.  When he continued to protest the Englishman moved towards him in a threatening manner.  Which caused him to back into a Thai man. The Thai man then promptly punched my friends lights out while he was focusing on the menacing English bar owner.

When my friend finally came to the police were already there hovering over him.    Then he pointed at the English bar owner who was trying his utmost to hide from the police.  But the police simply ignored my Irish friend, and then they put him in jail.  By that time his Thai assailant had already disappeared.

This story is not something I had just read about or what someone told me about in a bar.  I was the one who got the phone call from the Irishman and it was I who went down to the police station at 5:30 in the morning to bail him out.

My friend’s face looked like hamburger.  His eyes were two solid red colored orbs minus both the retina and pupil.

I  had to take him home on my motorcycle.  And got to see for myself how the Thai criminal justice system works.

How many times have the Walking Street go go bars overcharged me for drinks ?  And how many times have I had to put up with a go go girl bringing a second girl to my table.  Only to have the girl tell me I should buy drinks for both of them because the second girl was her sister?

Sister my ass!  I learned that trick over 8 years ago, so don’t try to pull it on me.

Truth is most Pattaya go go bars treat their customers despicably.

I really like most Japanese men, but hey guys, it’s us against them.  I mean you who are Japanese and me, and I’m American.    It’s time that you start to recognize who the real enemy is and that’s the  high prices the go go bars are charging us.

Those high prices are already getting to be so high that soon you won’t want to be coming here anymore.   You are a very intelligent, high minded race of people.  It’s high time that everyone cooperate together to keep Pattaya Walking Street from becoming a place you will never want to go back to.

As to Japanese politeness, hey I love it, especially when I’m visiting Japan.  Like last February when all you Japanese treated me like a king.  Yep.  That was in Tokyo and Kyoto.  But when it comes to Walking Street go go bars, it’s far better to question the prices of everything.  From what we are being charged for our drinks, to bar fines, to the tips we pay the girls.  With or without the sex.  We are, after all, in this together.  Aren’t we?

 As for all those ping pong balls, please deposit them in the nearest toilet where they belong. And all your Japanese politeness?  Please leave it at home where it is appreciated.

The beautiful Walking Street toilet girl of Pattaya

“I must have 30,000 baht a month to leave Pattaya Go Go Bar,  I have 2 children. Pretty cheap,” the pretty toilet girl of Pattaya said as she lay next to me.

girl of Pattaya
I do not take pictures in the go go bars. This was the exception. At first I wanted to show off how my friends and I drink. Happy Hour goes from 8:30 to 10:30 in this go go. I usually get gin and tonics and get the two for one special, which costs me 75 baht each. (about $2.00). But like my pal in this picture, I might line up as many as six gin and tonics. I asked the manager’s permission if I could take a shot just of my pal and his drinks and the manager came over and watched me take the pictures. Then he said, “What the hell. Go ahead and take the pictures of the girls with your friend.  Lesson to be learned here, there’s only one thing better than having one  girl of Pattaya and that’s having two girls of Pattaya.

I had just paid her 1000 baht bar fine, plus another 350 baht for the short time room, and I was going to pay her 2000 baht more just for the short time. But I just had to have her.

She was the girl I had met in the toilet at a go go bar that was charging me 140 baht for a bottle of beer.

I’m smart enough not to be paying so much money just for sex, but I just knew that tonight the sex would be otherworldly. But to all of you who are reading my lines of wisdom, don’t do what I’m doing. I just got that itch that must be satisfied and since I’m playing Clark Kent and Superman, I’m taking the expensive option out.

In my 20th floor ocean front condo, I’m Clark Kent. The entire Thai staff knows me. During the last several years I haven’t brought many girls back to my condo. Here, on my home turf I play it pretty professional and straight and narrow with hardly anyone knowing my true identity.

This is my true self, as Uncle Bufford–as superman whose main goal is to sample as many women as possible so that I can get to the bottom of this sex thing that makes the world go round and round.

But my condo is my home, and I don’t need to have all these bar girls clamoring at my door wanting to get a piece of me. Here I am shy retiring Clark Kent, the nice guy who spends a lot of time reading books and concentrating on computers and the internet.

Here in this short time room, I don’t have any alcohol and I don’t have any music either. I wish I had this beautiful girl of Pattaya  lying next to me back at my condo so that we can have all the time in the world together, relaxing over drinks out on my balcony with the superlative view of the Gulf of Thailand before us. But she’d probably like that too much and then she’d try to keep coming back for more. But that’s a future problem that will never exist because I’m just not going to be letting it happen.

This girl of Pattaya and I haven’t had sex yet. We are just lying together in each other arms doing a little kissing and talking. She’s only 23.

For a lot of guys she’s probably just too skinny. Why she has hardly any tits at all and she has a narrow ass I can just about cover with one hand. But her face, her eyes, her smile is just so ungodly sexy. She’s all personality which is just how I found her the first night we met in the toilet.

That first night I came into the go go bar there were a lot of very sexy girls dancing on the club’s long stage, but most of them were watching themselves in the mirror, hardly paying attention to the customers in the club. Except for the fact that I had to go to the toilet in the worse way I was getting pretty bored with everything. That’s when I said to Billy Bob sitting next to me,

“I’ve gotta take a piss, Billy Bob. Maybe tonight I’ll get lucky in the toilet here and a lady boy will start grabbing onto my dick trying to help me out.”

Well, there waszn’t a single lady boy in the place. And since this was my first time in this here go-go bar I had no idea what the toilet was like anyways. But when I first come into that toilet I sure got surprised because there must have been about three ladies in there with me. One of them had just gone into the stall to take a dump, and with the other stall taken also I had no choice other than to stand up against a urinal like a man and try to piss while people were watching me.

Soon as I started trying to take that piss this cute looking girl of Pattaya comes up to me and asks, “Can I watch?”

“Sure you can,” I replied. “Just don’t look at my dick.”

“Why not look at dick. Dick you no good?”

“Maybe too small,” I answered back. “Girl of Pattaya,  Can you help me pee pee?” I added. I cannot. Not when people look at me.”

“I help you,” the girl of Pattaya said to me as she started to massage my shoulders.”

There was still another girl of Pattaya in the toilet behind us watching and another girl was looking inside the toilets open door watching the girl massaging my shoulders.

“I think I’ll be here for a long time,” I called out to them all. I always have problems when I go pee pee.”

Then the girl reached down and started to fondle my dick, which started to get a little hard. I’ll never be able to piss now, I told myself. Which of course I couldn’t. Ten minutes passed before I finally gave up and took the girl back to my table. I bought her a Tequila, and then when she finished it I bought her a second Tequila.

By this time she was sprawled out all over me, kissing me.

“Boy is she hot”, said Billy Bob who was still sitting next to us. He felt her stomach and asked her, “Do you have any kids?”

“I have two children,” she replied.

“You have no fat on your stomach whatsoever,” Billy Bob commented. “I can’t believe that you actually have two children.” Then he felt her ass and exclaimed, “What a beautiful ass. It is so narrow and so firm that I can only get one hand across it.”

By the time this girl of Pattaya was finishing her third tequila I really wanted her. I could feel her skin start crawling into mine.

She had long hair billowing around my face as she unbuttoned my shirt and slid her hands across my chest. “I want another Tequila,” she demanded.

Which is all I needed, I told myself. Too many times I had girls get sick by the time the fourth tequila arrived and I doubt if this girl weighed even ninety pounds. It was also getting late and I wanted to go home.

“I gotta go,” I told her.


“Back to my condo.”

“Can you give me tip first?” she asked.

“Let’s go back into the toilet together one more time,” I insisted, “and in the toilet we can discuss your tip.”

She didn’t hesitate one second and followed me into the toilet as I opened the door to a stall. She followed me in and then I locked the door behind us. I whipped out my dick, and then she took it into her hands. I really wanted to piss. But I waited for her next move instead.

“Do you have a condom?” she asked.

“No. Do you have a condom?”


“Just keep feeling my dick,” I replied. You will think of something.”

And then I waited for her to start giving me a blowjob.

But she didn’t. I could have insisted. O pulled her face down on top of my dick, but I am too much of a gentleman for that. I gave her two hundred baht instead, for all the personal attention she had been giving me for the past couple of hours. We went back to our table where I settled my bill and then I left. But for the next several days I couldn’t keep her out of my mind.

So I went back. And I didn’t even call my friends first to find out which Walking Street Go Go bar they were in.

I had one thing in mind, and that was this girl of Pattaya, and certainly not my friends.

That could wait until later. I’d just call them while I was waiting for the waitress to bring me my first beer. But as soon as I went into the place and started to walk past the go go girls dancing along that stage, I saw her sitting next to a Japanese staring right at me. She smiled, waved, and then she pointed further down the bar where I found Billy Bob drinking with two other friends. There was no place to sit near them as a fourth man sat off to their immediate right and just to this man’s right was a hot tub that was occupied by a very naked attractive woman throwing soap suds against her breasts. The waitresses quickly found a small stool and placed it in front of the fourth man and the hot tub girl.

The man sitting directly in front of me, introduced himself, and after a few words of conversation I turned my back to everyone and started watching the naked woman in the hot tub.

From this position I could also watch my “ favorite toilet girl” who was still sitting next to the Japanese.

Surprisingly she kept looking my way scarcely paying any attention to her customer. Then she started to rub her eyes in a pantomime of crying her eyes out.

“Yeah, Yeah, Yeah,” I said to my friends as I turned around to look them all in their faces. “They all do that, as if none of us have never seen it before. She is acting as if she’d really rather be with me, but then he will pay her bar fine and off she will go with him hoping that I will come back to claim her on some other night.”

Fifteen more minutes passed while I alternated between looking directly at my friends and turning around to watch the girl in the hot tub and the girls dancing on the stage. “I will take another girl in this club,” I reasoned with myself. “There are a lot of good lookers in here.”

But my girl, my toilet girl queen, kept on focusing on me, watching me, then she’d turn around to face her customer, and then a few seconds she would turn around once again to look at me.

Suddenly the Japanese stood up and started settling his bill with one of the waitresses. I still thought he was barfining the girl, but after a few moments he walked out of the club, alone.

As soon as he was out the door she was standing next to me, but there was no place for her to sit. Then I noticed two empty seats across the stage from where my friends were all sitting so I took the cup containing my bar bill to the little table and sat down with her a good twenty feet away from my pals.

Before our first drink even arrived she was already feeling my dick. From the time she sat down with me I don’t think she left it alone for more than several minutes.

A few minutes later Billy Bob and our other two friends came over to announce that they were going over to another go go bar. I told them I was not moving one inch.

A few minutes later I barfined her and then we went to the short time room together. But once we were in the room she told me those words I never wanted to hear. “I have no condom.” And neither did I. So it was oral sex all the way. Which leads us to tonight.

Once again I found her in the bar, or shall I say, she found me. The little service girl has a fixation on me for some reason. She comes over to me as soon as the hostess seats me. In moments she’s standing just a foot away from me. She will remain in this basic position for 60 percent of the time I’m in the place.  It takes only  three minutes for my favorite girl of Pattaya to find me at my table.

She takes a seat close to me within an area that cannot begin to seat a fat assed Western woman.

Within the next five minutes I have three  pretty ladies around me. The third girl is a woman my toilet lady claims is her sister, which is probably not true at all. I get myself a beer from the waitress and a tequila and coke for my girl. From that point on all three of them are relentless in their attempts to suck me out of as many drinks as possible.

“The two sisters” are coyote dancers who are typically hired for ten day shifts. They work for a company rather than a club. Bar fines for such coyote girls are way too high, typically between 1000 and 1500 baht. Each girl gets a high salary from the company. But the go go bar owner doesn’t have to work very hard at all to get a stable of good looking Thai women working as go go dancers for him. The company does all the work for him.

Because their salaries are so high, the company employing the coyote dancers must reclaim a lot of that expense in the form of drink sales and bar fines which used to run 600 baht on the average but which are now running about double that. The three women have no choice. They each have a quota on how many drinks each girl must sell a month. But I’m onto their game and I have a pat answer for all three of them.

“I only buy drinks for the girl I’m fucking,” I tell them all, and tonight I’m only fucking our toilet queen here because I’m not enough man to be fucking all three of you.”

It works. Both the waitress and the “sister” keep hanging around me, drinks or no drinks.  It isn’t long before I’m heading to the short time room with the sole object of my lust.

The sex is great. I feel every inch of her from three different sexual positions. Nearly two hours will go by before we leave the short time room. I swear I get a lot better penetration from very slender women. They just melt into my body. And this girl of Pattaya is just as much into me as I’m into her. Which is about as deep as it gets.  This Walking Street toilet girl of Pattaya just might amount to one of my greatest finds.

Soi Six bar girl speaks out about Falang

I want falang take care of me long time,  the Soi Six bar girl told me, but I want go to Thai Karioke bars and discos so my friends and I can listen to Thai music and look at Thai men.

Soi Six bar girl
This is not the girl in the story. But both women are in a Soi 6 bar. The girl on the left has just passed out from too much tequila.

Fortunately I am not this  Soi Six bar girl s sucker, and I don’t intend to be. I’m on the top of my game, and I’m just plain not interested in having a Thai girlfriend and you shouldn’t be either.

I’ve known  Soi Six bar girl for a long time.   I knows she’s speaking the truth.  And not just for herself but for nearly every Thai woman you are ever likely to be meeting.  Whethershe’s from a beer bar, go go, or from the Soi Six Bar I’m writing from this very minute. The girl’s sitting next to me downstairs. She’s on her smart phone drumming up new customers or telling guys she knows how much she loves them while I’m sitting here downing tequilas and beer with her and writing in my notebook. This bar’s a favorite hangout of mine.

Half an hour ago she was a great fuck. But she’s known me for a long time. She knows I’ve banged over fifty girls here on Soi Six and that’s not counting all the other places I keep pulling my wimmen from. Just two doors from this place is her favorite buddy who just happens to be the mamasan.

Last night the two went down to Walking Street together, but speaking of this mamasan, I’ve banged her too–about four times already but it’s been awhile.

She’s a great mamasan. She’s smart, she’s sexy, she speaks good English, and she never cons me.

As for the Soi Six bar girl  sitting with me in this here booth, this one’s never copped an attitude with me. She’s always friendly, but the best thing about her aside from her being cute and having a nice tight little body is she’s become like a comfortable shoe. I knows her and she knows me. This Soi Six bar girl has nothing to gain by lying to me now so I pop the big one on her.

“Would you ever like to have a falang boyfriend and quit being a Soi Six bar girl?”

(It’s a stupid question). I means who really wants to have one dick in her after another, which is exactly what these Soi Six girls have to put up with?

“It really hard to find good man,” she replies. “I try many times, but man always bad.”

Ain’t that the truth, I tell myself. To be honest, as outgoing and friendly as I am, I actually despise most men. They are full of themselves.  They are selfish.  And most of them never ever grew themselves a set of balls. Neil Hutchison was right when he wrote Fool in Paradise because that’s what most guys who come here are. Fools in Paradise, so when he wrote that book after writing Money Number One, what he meant was that nearly every man who comes to Pattaya is a complete idiot when it comes to Thai women. This Soi Six whore is right on the money.

Did I call her a whore? Well, I didn’t mean anything derogatory towards her when I wrote that.

She’s a damn site more useful to me than most wimmen are who don’t call themselves whores.

I’ve just paid her 800 baht.  She gives me terrific sex and now she’s content to just sit here with me. She hardly ever asks me for a drink, but I think if I kept plying her with alcohol she’d sit next to me all night. Except I’d be sure to be banging her again. She’s that good. And she’s going to tell me the truth now, just as that mamasan would if she were sitting with me instead. Yep, that mamasan certainly would, but now that I’m thinking of her I just can’t stop laughing.

A few months ago I came into the mamasan’s bar just to have a few drinks. That night I didn’t care if I boom boomed someone or not. I was out just to have fun, and when I first came in and saw mamasan dancing all around the place with that little white nurse’s hat on, I just knew that the entertainment was just a starting. There’s this guy standing near me, and right off I just knows he’s just fucked mamasan. But like I says, Mamasan’s dancing all around the place, obviously a little drunk, and then this man grabs her and starts dancing with her.

“Let’s get naked, get on the floor and fuck each other”, he tells her while he feels her up.

For a moment I thought she would have.  But I happen know she once told me she fucked between sixty and eighty guys a month in her bar. But then the man comes over to me while she escapes into the toilet.

“Hi. I”m Olaf. I’m Swedish.”

“And I’m Uncle Bufford. That’s one pretty lady you are with,” I tell him.

“She certainly is. I just fucked her and I will fuck her again in a little while.”

‘Well, I’d like to fuck her too,” I told the man, not having the heart to tell him that I had been with her a few times before and had oftentimes just come in to have several drinks with her.

“I fucked 11 girls yesterday right next door to this place. At the O Bar,” the man replied.

“How’d you do that? I’m lucky to be able to get it up just for one girl,” I countered.

“I just told the bartender and everyone in the place that I wanted to fuck as many as I could and then I just started having the girls come upstairs to my room one after the other.”

When mamasan finally came out of the toilet the Swede left me. She staggered up to him. Then he grabbed the Soi Six bar girl , kissed her on the lips, and pulled away.

Standing in the center of the bar, he unzipped his pants, pulled out his dick and asked her, “Do you member this?”

I’ll never forget the way she laughed at him and replied,

“How can I remember your dick when I’ve already had three thousand of them in me already?”

Now all you guys who are reading this about now will not learn this most fundamental lesson. That is this is what you are going to amount to most of these bar girls is that you are just one more dick out of hundreds, and quite possibly thousands, and if you don’t believe me just go read Money Number One.

I love that mamasan, and as for that Swede, a few minutes later he comes up to me again and then he goes to the toilet. But he doesn’t come out. A few minutes pass, and finally he opens the toilet door, takes a few steps out into the bar, and then he goes back inside again.

He’s puking his guts out, obviously not able to control his alcohol. Which brings me back to the girl I’m with tonight.

“So what will you do, if you find a Western boyfriend and you decide to stay together long time.  And what must he pay you to stop you from working bar?” I ask the Soi Six bar girl .

“Fifteen thousand baht. Twenty thousand,” she replies. But falang want to control me. That is big problem. I don’t mind if he goes out with his friends to bars at night but he should let me to. I want to go out with friends to discos and bars, listen to Thai music. Look at Thai men.”

Aha. I thought so. She wants to have her cake and eat it too. And what’s this with Thai men? I despise most of them. I know what nearly all of them are about. But I’m not getting into all of that, except to say

 Any woman who prefers Thai men is of no real interest to me. But I don’t care. This gals just plain good company, and besides, I love fucking her.

I could easily just stay here and drink with her for the next two or three hours but I need to go down to Walking Street so that I can write about my next experience there in my Uncle Bufford Walking Street Reviews.  Plus, there’s a very pretty go go girl that I’ve got my heart set on boom booming later on tonight.

But I till love a Soi Six bar girl best of all.

Soi Six Sexathon Triple Header

Whereas marathons are for hard core long distance runners, the Soi Six Sexathon is for the hardest of men all who simply cannot get enough.  Deciding to make the best of what little time I have left on earth,  I arrive on Soi Six early.  Around 6:45.

these two did not do a Soi Six Sexathon
Although I took this picture on Soi Six, the two women are not part of this story. They did not participate in the Soi Six Sexathon. The woman in the middle is a bar owner, however. And let me tell you, she’s dynamite. Great personality. Great body and from what I’ve heard a very hard worker. The girl on the right is very sexy also. A lot of fun this girl is. As for the guy, this is Billy Bob. Note that I have cartoonized the faces of all three. Unlike a lot of guys I know who take naked pictures of their “conquests”, I won’t do this here in Thailand. It hurts the girls and jeopardizes their future.

I Didn’t waste time worrying about dinner either or going out with friends because I’m after one thing, and that’s a great time without complications and being around Thai women who aren’t going to piss me off.  I’m in luck. My favorite girl is standing in the doorway of stop number one. Lately she’s been going to work early and leaving around 7 or 8 in the evening.

If I only boom boom her tonight will still wind up being a Soi Six Sexathon

So I bring my little plastic bag into the place and pull out the two slices of microwaved pizza I bought at Seven Eleven. I offer my companion one, but she protests and points at her stomach. She’s just 40 kilos which is perfect for me and this is one of the reasons why–she controls what she eats, and let’s face it, pizza is fattening. I buy her a drink and a beer for myself. Ten minutes later, we’re heading upstairs to the room.

First we go together to the toilet down the hall where she washes me meticulously. I’m hard before I even get close to the room. She’s damn good. The best. We stand next to each other in the room, both of us totally naked looking at ourselves in the mirror. She asks: “What do you want? Do you want to fuck me?”

This is a terrible picture of one of the two women appearing in the previous picture. She’s a pretty girl with a lot of personality. She’s a bit tall for a Thai woman also. And she has nearly a perfect shape. This does not come across in this picture. And……I’ve distorted her face to protect her identity.

“I love fucking you,” I tell her. But then she throws me a curve, blurting out, I want you to come in my mouth.” She could have said, “I want to smoke you” or I want your big cock in my mouth”, but that’s not what she’s telling me. And if there’s one thing I know about this girl, “She always does what she says she’s going to do.”

We lie on the bed together as she goes down on me. And I’m thinking, “This is going to be over practically before we get started, because she’s really that good.

There’s just so many times she’s going down on me, and I’m about to come in 30 seconds. So I start to do everything possible to get away from her. She tries to lock me against her to keep my member inside her mouth while I try to jerk away. Eventually I always succeed before it’s too late. And then she sits there laughing at me, knowing that she’s totally in control. If we try it again, I know I’m not going to last, so I get her lying on her back as I go down on her.

Meanwhile my mind drifts away from the moment of my coming, which had been imminent, but now the subjects her. And she’s exquisite. Her legs are just about perfect. Slender and she’s got a trim belly and fine ass.

I will often have intercourse with her, but not tonight. By a miracle I’m able to sustain the moment, and then I just lie back and enjoy her.

It’s all about me this time. And finally I come, right in her mouth as she keeps sucking away. Finally she pulls her mouth away. I see white stuff all over her mouth and lower face as she tries to kiss me. “Damn”, I tell myself, “there’s just too much stuff all over her face,” which now she’s washing off. “Surely I couldn’t have produced all of that.”

But if I didn’t, “what produced all that goo?” She must have sucked me like a vacuum cleaner.

Afterwards we go downstairs together to finish our drinks. But I’ve promised a friend that I will meet him two bars up the street, and it’s getting about that time. So I pay her 800 baht plus the 300 baht for the room and the price of our drinks. I’d love to spend the whole night with her because I like her a lot, but that’s not going to happen, at least not just yet.

I got the girl on the left drunk on tequila. She’s passed out on her girlfriend’s lap. This girl is very very pretty. She’s tall. In her high heels she seems almost as tall as me. And I’m around 5 foot eleven or 180 cm.

I go inside the bar and take a seat at the first table just inside the door right next to the owner.

By the time I light up a cigarette a chubby bar girl is asking me if she can sit next to me. I have no interest in her whatsoever. The cigarette looks much more inviting.

The owner tells me, “I advise you to stay away from Prawn, tonight. She’s got an American boyfriend and he’s around.” But did he really say that?  I’m not really sure because the music’s pretty loud. As for Prawn, I’ve been with her many times, and I suppose that by now she must be thinking that I am hers. I don’t see her yet.

But another girl comes up to my table and starts to speak animatedly with the chubby girl next to me. I banged her two weeks before. Took her upstairs twice as a matter of fact. She’s slender and she’s got an ass to die for.

I hate to be rude to a girl, but when you are butt ugly, you simply shouldn’t be selling your body in places like this.

It’s time to separate the chiff from the chaff. So I tell the second girl, “Come up to the bar with me. I’ll buy you a drink, but I want to sit at the bar, not here.” Which cuts the first girl out because as soon as the true object of my desires sits with me on the bar stool next to mine, there’s simply nowhere for the chubby girl to sit. Within seconds she’s left sitting alone at the table I had been sitting at, and I’m still not finished smoking that first cigarette.

A few minutes later my friend arrives. He takes the bar stool next to mine. Several beers later, the girl with the nice shapely ass is dancing around the place like a squirrel on steroids. My friend’s rather shy though. That’s the way he’s acting even though I know better. It must be the place. The girl is sitting on my lap one moment. The next she’s dancing with her back towards me as she presses her butt tightly up against my groin.

By now, I’m not caring about much of anything at all. Even when she’s starting to pay attention to what’s between my friend’s legs. It looks to me that she and another girl are examining how big his penis is. But I’m not about to start paying close attention. So whether or not they have their little hands down into his shorts feeling him getting hard is no affair of mine. I’m not marrying either one of them, and as for my favorite girl, well, I had been with her not long ago.

Beats the hell out of Walking Street,” I tell my friend. “Look at this girl’s ass. You are simply not going to find a better looking ass anywhere,

and what a body? No tits but who cares. She’s got nice legs and a firm belly.” My friend agrees with me because we both know that Walking Street is only for tourists and men who don’t know better.

The best part of it is, “I can be with this girl inside of ten minutes upstairs totally naked with zero complications. For that matter, either one of us can be with almost any girl on this street.  Or we can  do a Soi Six Sexathon.  By having two or three for the same price as one go-go girl on Walking Street.”

Suddenly my friend tells me that he has computer work that he needs to get done at his condo. As he starts to pay his bill, I start settling up with the bartender. I’m heading up to the room with the girl and that’s 300 baht. On top of that it’s about fifty dollars for the drinks, but I’ve been already drinking for about three hours here, and I’ve been buying both myself and the girl I’m with shots of tequila. I’ve also bought at least one shot of tequila for the bartender and a beer or two for my friend. It’s a little steep nonetheless, but what the hell, I’m heading upstairs with the girl with the perfect ass.

By the time we come back downstairs we must have spend a good half an hour or forty-five minutes having sex.

Time to move on.  Maybe I can have a Soi Six Sexathon

I find myself in still another Soi Six Bar. And by the time I come out all the doors in the place are locked. It’s well after 1 a.m. which is closing time for Soi Six. I can’t even go back in the bar. The only way out is through the back way through a narrow winding corridor to the back exit of the place. As I walk down Soi Six to find my motorbike, the entire place is practically deserted. Luckily it’s still where I had left it.  There’s still one bar I want to visit, but it’s not on Soi Six.  But starting tomorrow I know that I can hardly wait until my next Soi Six Sexathon.

Billy Bob

Other Soi Six Stories you might enjoy

In the Soi Six Bar police catch Billy Bob with his pants off

Mr Walking Street Meets High Quality Soi Six Beauty

Soi Six or Walking Street Mistress?

Walking Street or Soi Six:  Which is more Satisfying?

Cheating Thai girlfriend investigation by corrupt Pattaya Policeman

Big John’s mistake was believing that he could trust a corrupt Pattaya Policeman to do something as simple as carrying out a Thai girlfriend investigation in LOL.

(Not LOS, Land of Smiles but LAND OF LIES).

Fun was a good girl, not a bar girl onto the game, the  American topless club owner thought. Big John knew only too well how the game was played because as a strip club owner he had been training strippers how to extract as much money from his customers as possible so long as they played the game by his rules. But the con could only go so far. So long as everyone was having fun and no customer got conned beyond what he could afford.  And the lies told by the dancers were nothing more than white lies, all would be well at Big John’s Cabaret.

Big John had over twenty years of experience with American bar girls working with him in the strip clubs.

At the Excite Disco. Were these performer ladies or lady boys?  The corrupt Thai policeman would do his Thai girlfriend investigation for Big John about 6 months after we visited the Excite Disco and took in the shows there.

Although he loved his strippers he had long ago concluded that “One can take the girl out of the bar but one cannot take the bar out of the girl.” He had watched countless times the topless dancers playing up to the customers, most of whom were portly older guys, who really had no business believing such young sexy women were remotely interested in them for anything other than money. So he decided to beat the bar girl game by finding a nice girl for a Thai girlfriend. He asked a Pattaya go go bar owner friend of his to help.

He found his “nice Pattaya girl”  posing as  the manager of a large massage establishment.

She was a serious girl, reserved in manner with a certain Hi So (High Society) attitude that separated her from all the bar girl Riffraff  his friends were taking out. “She’s the girl for me,” he reasoned.  So he started asking his go go owner friend to ask his Thai wife to act as a go between. After his bar owner friend’s wife had said enough good things about him, Big John started  turning the charm on the massage parlor manager.  Before long this nice Thai girl became Big John’s girlfriend.

Big John was visiting Thailand two or three times a year. Every so often he would have an Australian friend of his take ten thousand baht to the massage establishment which he’d  give to Fun in an envelope.  One time Peter took his Thai girlfriend, Noi, along.   Peter gave Fun an envelope full of baht.  After the pair returned to their hotel room. Peter told  Noi that Fun was the massage establishment’s manager.

Convulsing with laughter  Noi replied,  “Fun’s not the manager, she’s just the cashier.”

The fun and games were starting to reveal themselves.

Appropriately enough Big John’s girlfriend’s name was Fun.  Which wasn’t her real name.  But believe me, everyone would have a lot of Fun by the time this story  ends.

Peter’s girlfriend turned out to be an alcoholic who couldn’t hold onto 10,000 baht for three days.  He wound up throwing Noi out of his condo one night after she nearly bit his eye out.  Then he replaced her with a clever Thai bar girl who he called Ding Ding.

Now it might seem that Peter was poking fun at Big John.  Far from it. In those days everyone poked a lot of fun at each other. Peter’s biggest act of stupidity was his failure to realize that Ding Ding had a Thai husband who she was secretly seeing the minute  he turned his back on her.

Fun, on the other hand,  was a nice Thai girl with high society breeding, who believed she was infinitely above such low lifes as Ding Ding and her bar girl friends.

One of the performers at the Excite Disco

One night Peter took a group to the Excite Disco where everyone sat at a table together.  Everyone except for Fun who sat off by herself at one end of the table away from everyone else, obviously pissed off.  No one knew what Big John did or said, but Fun was showing everyone who was the boss.

Ding Ding–well she was practically born and raised in a bar.

Well let me tell you, Ding Dong was one clever Thai woman.  She had a Thai girlfriend named Mai.  Who was so short that Peter and his friends oftentimes called her Pygmy.  Ding Ding had once forged a college transcript for Mai so she could get a job that required a college education.  In reality Mai was dumber than owlshit.

Mai who was with everyone that night.  After all Ding Dong and Mai  were best friends.

Obviously it was below Fun’s status to hang around with such people even though Ding Ding was probably twice as clever as her and Mai had a coveted university diploma from Chang University.  That’s where they serve beer for the main course.

A few weeks later Ding Ding and Mai went to Koh Chang with the guys they had been with at Excite.   Fun went also,  but during the entire three day outing, she stayed away from the other girls, sitting at the other end of the resort’s swimming pool or playing sick when everyone went snorkeling on a dive boat.

All of this was too much for Peter.  Getting Big John aside, Peter told him:

“Your girlfriend is a total bitch.  This whole time we’ve been spending on Koh Chang,  Fun’s  stayed away from our entire group.  She’s completely encapsulated in her own little corner of self-worth.

Meanwhile Peter had been noticing that Fun was taking too much time off from her job for someone who would be entrusted with any real management responsibilities.

Every time Big John would come to Pattaya for one of his two week visits, Fun would be called away from her job to visit her mother in Udon Nowhereland.

Which left Big John with an entire week to hook up with other Thai women.  While he spent the remainder of his time with Fun.

Meanwhile Fun had somehow acquired the money get her own house in Pattaya.  Which Big John started calling the Big John and Mrs. Big John house.  Then he started buying furniture for the house in the hopes of having a semi permanent residence here in LOL (Land of Lies).

About a year later, Big John told Peter that Fun had to visit her mother.  This suited him just fine because now Big John  could have one week on his own while he spent the rest of his time playing house  with Mrs. Big John.

However, by this time Big John had started getting suspicious. So he decided to go to someone he could really trust.   To find out the real truth he hired a Pattaya policeman to tail  Mrs. Big John.

He was still in the U.S. but within a couple of days he would be  joining the gang in  Pattaya.  Which was all All the better to start his Thai girlfriend investigation.

From the United States, Big John text messaged Peter, “Fun is right now where she’s supposed to be.  She’s on her way visiting Mama in the village.  I have already started my Thai girlfriend investigation. My detective has her in his sights.”

That morning  Peter and Pier were walking for exercise.  And by exercise I do mean exercise because they would walk almost all the way to Jomtien and back along the beach.  Pier,  a rough Norwegian seaman, was Peter’s best friend mainly because he was the only Westerner around who was willing to exercise.  This walk amounted to twenty kilometers. This took them three hours together as they laughed and talked together about just about anything they could think of.

By the time Peter explained to Pier how Big John was having a Thai girlfriend investigation, Pier burst out laughing, and exclaimed:

“Thai girlfriend investigation investigation my ass.”

We both know, Peter, what is going on. That Thai policeman has no doubt caught Fun cheating on Big John.

I’ll bet he’s gone to her and told her, “Fun, you give me enough money and I’ll keep my mouth shut.”   I’ll bet that Thai policeman will get money from both of them.”

By this time Big John was already in the airplane on his way to LOL (Land of Lies). Later that afternoon Peter and one of his Aussie friends were sitting at a restaurant on the beach,

Thai girlfriend investigation
Peter didn’t have to do his own Thai girlfriend investigation to find out Fun was not with her mother. Here at this very restaurant, Peter spotted Fun walking along the beach with “her mother” who happened to be a tall Englishman.

where Peter thought he saw Fun walking just ten meters away with a tall man.  Peter sure as hell didn’t need to pay for a Thai girlfriend investigation to immediately see what was happening.

Peter  asked the other Australian, “Isn’t that Fun walking down the beach with that guy?”

“It sure is,”  his fellow Australian replied.

“Well that tall guy is Fun’s mother that Big John keeps telling us about.

She’s up in Udon Nowhereland right now being followed by this Thai cop while she’s visiting her mama. Looks to me like that Thai cop isn’t doing what Big John’s paying him for.”

Peter can be a real smart ass.  This was simply too much, so he decided to take this one to the limit.  After all, Big John was one of his best friends ever, even if he  poked fun at him whenever he could.  He jumped up from the table and strolled up to Fun and her companion.

“Sawadi Kap, Fun. I see you have friend.”

Then Peter extended his hand to the man standing next to her. “Hi, I’m Peter.”

The man smiled back at him and replied, “And I am Ian.”

Peter couldn’t wait to get back to his condo and computer. The two Australians settled their bill and Peter hurried back to his condo where he immediately e-mailed Big John:

“Fun here near my condo on the beach. Mama with her. He’s a tall Englishman.”

Big John got the email while gorging himself with food in the Eva airlines lounge in Taipei.   He immediately emailed Andy back: “Thanks good friend. I have been really stupid. I am finishing her right now.”

After Peter returned to his condo to warn Big John, Ding Ding suddenly blurted out: “Fun.  She have boyfriend in this condo.  He have very big condo.”

Reflecting back on this, Peter later commented that Fun must have had Ding Ding’s phone number all the time.  And that Ding Ding had known all about Fun’s other boyfriend for an eternity.

But there is this Thai woman etiquette. No, it’s far more than that. It’s this Thai people etiquette that runs like a professional American football game. It’s falang versus Thai and the Thais all band together against the falang.

So in the case of Fun having two boyfriends, the scoreboard read Thai 14, Falang 0.

Ding Ding had been Peter’s live in girlfriend for over a year.  Yet for months she had been quiet about Fun’s cheating on Big John. Although she probably detested Fun for her haughty pretentious ways, Fun was nevertheless a Thai.

No doubt Ding Ding probably liked Big John a lot. And who wouldn’t? From what I’ve heard, Big John’s one of the most affable people who’s landed in LOL since the Vietnam War.   Before becoming a strip club owner he was a night club D.J. who had a legendary reputation for keeping the club’s customers spellbound.

But Ding Dong was undoubtedly thinking.  Big John’s still a Westerner and it’s We Thais against all Westerners.  But now that the guys have caught Fun in the act, it’s time for me to cut my losses, act like a loyal girlfriend and fess up.

A few hours later, Big John arrived in Pattaya and checked into his hotel room. Peter decides to get a massage with Big John just one block up the street from his condo.  Peter gets a one hour massage from one of the massage girls.  But Big John’s  either asked for extra time or requested a full two hours.

After finishing his massage decides to wait for big John in front of a little shop on the ground floor of his condo. The place is like a Seven Eleven or Family Mart but it’s smaller. But you can buy beer there, snacks, cigarettes, and just about everything you would normally find at a Seven Eleven or Family Mart.  Back then there were a couple of tables and chairs in front of the place where some of the condo residents and their friends would often relax over beers.

Inside was the tall Englishman Peter had met on the beach a few hours before. This was an opportunity he couldn’t afford to pass up.

“Hello,” Peter greeted the man as soon as he walked inside.  “I’m going to buy myself some beer and drink it just outside,” he added. “I’ll buy you one.”

“No. It’s on me,” the man replied. “ And I will join you outside.”

Peter couldn’t wait for Big John to return from getting his massage. The plot was starting to thicken.

As they drank their beers together at one of the tables, Peter asked Ian, “That’s a pretty woman, I saw you with today.  Where did you meet her?”

“Oh Fun? She’s been my girlfriend for several years now. I met her at a massage establishment. We’ve been together ever since. When I’m here that is. The rest of the time I need to be in England taking care of business.”

“You are a condo owner here then?”

“Yes. I bought one of the largest condos in the building up on the twentieth floor.  It’s the Penthouse.  And if it wasn’t for Fun, I wouldn’t have even known it was for sale.”

“So you found out all about this condo building from your girlfriend?

“Oh yeah. Fun knew all about the condos for sale in the building alright. Peter remembered how Big John had once insisted on having his picture taken with Fun in his condo just a couple of months after he had moved into his unit.  Peter remembered distinctly that the condo  Ian had purchased had been one of the very last units that was sold. So if it hadn’t been for Big John, taking Fun to Peter’s condo and showing it off to her, she would never have known the place even existed.

“It’s a great place,”Fun told me. In fact, she got a nice commission for helping me buy the place, and as far as I’m concerned she’s earned every penny of it,” Ian added.  “I think she used the money to buy her own house a few kilometers away from here.”

By this time, Big John, had finished his massage.

“Big John. This is Ian. Ian this is Big John,” said Peter.  “Ian bought a condo here just a few months ago. Seems he found out about it from his girlfriend, Fun, and she got a nice commission out of it.”

The expression on Big John’s face  told Peter that whatever therapeutic effects his massage had on him had immediately disappeared.

“Fun?  Where did you meet her?” Big John asked.

“She was managing a massage place. That was two years ago. I see her every time I come here from England.”

“How much did you pay for your condo?” Big John asked.

“Eleven Million baht. She probably got several hundred thousand baht commission from making that sale happen. But I’m really happy for her. I think she got a big down payment on her house out of that.”

By now Big John was thoroughly pissed off. Peter didn’t know if he’d stalk angrily off or if he’d just pound Ian into the concrete. Big John had once been a professional wrestler and had even been on television several times so Peter knew he was up to the job.

“Come out to the swimming pool with me, Big John.  I need to talk with you in private about something.” Then Peter turned to the Englishman and said, “We will be back in five minutes, okay?”

Out at the pool which was just forty meters away,  Andy said to Big John, “I know how you feel, John.”  You probably don’t want to talk to anyone right now so if you’d like we can go somewhere else and have a few without anyone else around.”

“No,” Big John replied. “This poor guy probably doesn’t even know about any of this. We must warn him about this bitch.”

As they returned to their table,  Andy said to Ian, “Big John and I want to have a word with you out at the pool. No one else will hear us there.”

Which was no problem. The Englishman had seemed easy going enough. As soon as three men stepped inside the pool entrance, Big John extended his hand and said, “Ian, I am the other man.  It seems we have the same girlfriend and she’s been lying to both of us.”

The three men returned to the table where they  ordered another round.  After that someone suggested they all go to the Walking Street go go bars together.  Ian had his own car while Big John had rented a car and driver who picked him up and drove him to Walking Street.  Peter rode with Ian.

The threesome had many drinks together in the Walking Street go go’s that night.  The next day  Big John went back to the massage place and told Fun to go to hell in front of all her co-workers.  He would been just as well off telling that SOB Thai cop off for his scumbag Thai girlfriend investigation.

But as Peter told me later, “I think the other women there all patted her on the back afterwards and told her, ‘Good going girl, it is now Thai 21 points, falang zero.’”

This Thai girlfriend investigation is a true story.   The moral of it is,   “After all is said and done , if you can’t trust a policeman, who can you trust?”

You might also want to find out more about the Excite Disco, with its stage shows, sexy performers.  Video included here.  

Pattaya Walking Street Light House, Naughty Girls, Sugar Babes, Living Dolls, Super Baby go go bar review

Our first stop this sorry ass night  on Pattaya Walking Street was the Light House Go Go Bar.   I’m calling this dump the Cattle Farm cause that’s exactly how we waz treated, like cattle being herded around.

The main room is long and narrow with a stage running down its center and small tables lined up on both sides of it so that all the customers could be herded in like a bunch of bum steers going to the slaughter house.   Our waitress was most unfriendly and that didn’t go down with me very well.

Even worse than the Pattaya Walking Street girls was the music.   Bottled beer was 140 baht.  That’s $4.38 a bottle just so we could listen to rot gut music.

Add insult to injury there were seven of us coming in together.  Not once did a single go go dancer come up to one of us.  The bar fine is 1000 baht and they waz askin 2500 baht for short time.  That’s $110 U.S.  I can get me 3 girls down on Soi Six for that price.  And even includes the price of the short time room upstairs.

pattaya walking street go go dancers
And yes. These Pattaya Walking Street go go dancers are from Sugar Babies . According to the Sugar Babies web site that is

Our next stop was Sugar Babys Go Go.  Once again a bottle of beer costs 140 baht.  I about laughed my ass off when I saw the signs in the toilet.  The first one read “10 shots of Tequila or B52’s just 1000 baht”.   But it’s the second that really got me,  “Ring the bell, buy all the girls (in the place) a drink.  Just 3000 baht.”

Hey…that’s $100 American dollars just to buy a bunch of ignorant farm girls drinks, and do you think they’d give a damn about us?

Pattaya use to be all about me and the guys.  Now it’s all about us having to spoil these girls as if they were movie stars.   I can guarantee you all that if anyone of us were to ring that bell that those girls would all be talking behind our backs about how stupid we waz.   Then Big Tom, he made the mistake of getting one of the dancers to come off the stage so he could buy her a drink.  Within five minutes she downed that drink and then she disappeared into the toilet.  And then when it came time for all of us to check bin and leave,

my friends all got their change from the waitresses.  I gave mine 200 baht but she took off and never gave me my change back.

My friends were already outside waiting for me and I had to call out “Hok sip baht”, and not once but twice.  I had to nearly scream 60 baht to them service ladies and after ten minutes more of keeping us all waiting they finally figured that they’d better be giving me my change back.  I can sum this place up as just another Walking Street Cattle Car waiting for the Final Solution.

By now we head to Naughty Girls Go Go but there’s only six of us guys left when we go in.  The place is not on Pattaya Walking Street, but it’s right up next to it on Soi Diamond.

My goal is not to buy a single girl a drink and to not let one of them touch my dick.

There’s all these gals up on the stage dancing but the whole time we were there not one of them came over to meet a single one of us.  Beers were 125 baht. What a waste.

I go alone to Super Babys next. 

But after around ten minutes my friends join me.   There’s just six girls in the entire go go bar.  One of them keeps looking over at me so I decide to buy her a drink.  She comes over to sit next to me and orders an orange juice.  That lasts for around five minutes and then she goes up on that stage again.

But I like the mamasan here and I do like a couple of the waitresses here.  They are the best and so are the service girls across Soi Diamond at Super Girls, the Sister club that is owned by the same people.

Mamasan tells me that 15 girls have already been bar fined.  Which no doubt means a lot of Japanese and Koreans have come into the bar and paid at least 2000 baht for short time and no doubt a lot more.  But at least here the beers are 120 baht a bottle and the bar fine is 600 baht instead of those ridiculous 1000 to 1500 baht bar fines one has to pay at a lot of other go go bars for coyote dancers.

My last stop is Living Dolls Go Go.  The beer here is 140 baht a bottle and most of the girls I see on the stage are real Heiffers.

These Pattaya Walking Street go go dancers are overweight cows.  But we find a table near where a lot of the go go girls are hanging around when they are off the stage.  One sits next to me.  At first I don’t talk to her at all.  But she’s pretty friendly so I actually wind up buying her a drink.  But I’ve gotta go home.  The long way because I’m going to be having my last beers down on Drinking Street where they got some real wimmen who are much better than Pattaya Walking Street’s got.








You need the Pattaya Survival Guide bookstore to cope with the Pattaya Fun House

There is nothing like living in the Pattaya Fun House.  I’m calling this place the Pattaya Fun House because I wouldn’t want to live anywhere else.

Sexy Lady at the Pattaya Fun House
Is she a lady or a lady boy? I really don’t know since I took this picture so long ago. But what the hell. This is Pattaya Fun City where the blurring of the sexes sometimes becomes anyone’s best guess. Come here. Stay awhile, and you will be seduced. There is nothing like the Pattaya Fun House anywhere.

From a small fishing village American Vietnam War soldiers visited for R & R, Pattaya’s grown to be Thailand’s largest metropolitan city outside of Bangkok.  There’s over a million people here.  Perhaps 2 million.  We have sensational shopping malls, restaurants galore of every stripe.  .  Pattaya is simply too much fun.  It’s so much fun that once you visit here you are never want to come back.

What separates the Pattaya Fun House from nearly all other cities on the planet is the huge proliferation of nightclubs, bars, and prostitutes that seems to have infected the entire area.   There’s all the go go bars.  Which are much alike American strip clubs.  Except there’s a lot more touchy feely in them.  And you can buy sex in them from just about any girl you want.

There’s over 100 go go bars in  the Pattaya Fun House

But this is only the tip of the iceberg.  There’s gotta be at least 2000 beer bars where you can buy sex.  And at least 10000 girls working these bars.  Then there’a all the pretty girls you find shopping in the 7-Elevens.  The places you can find available women are endless.  And in my opinion, Thai woman are the most beautiful women in the world.

But the great majority of such women in the Pattaya Fun House are not prostitutes in the Western sense of what prostitutes are all about.  Nevertheless, keep in mind that money is still the number goal for these gals.    Thai go go dancers and beer bar girls are very adept at getting their customers to believe that they actually love them.  The reality is most of them don’t.   While most Westerners who come to Pattaya Fun City searching for female companionship seem to lose their brains in the airport.

This is where the Pattaya Survival Guide bookstore comes in

Most men coming to the Pattaya Fun House are practically defenseless when they come face to face with a wily Pattaya bar girl.  Which is why Thais call such men “buffaloes”.  Your typical Western man who comes to the Pattaya looking for women, knows it all. Chances are he’s an older fella who believes he’s the perfect antidote to a bar girl’s problems.

He’s super falang (this is what Thais call Westerners).  The man can play basketball.  He can dribble the ball behind his back.  He can dunk the ball to perfection.  But of course I’m speaking metaphorically here.  The reality is he’s an older guy who likes to drink beer too much.  He has a fat belly.  But he’s done rather well in his home country and now he wants to spread his wealth around to a deserving bar girl and her family.  And all because he’s such a nice fella.  And certainly his new Thai bar girl girlfriend can see him as the man he truly is.

She’s not like all those Western women he reasons.  So like a sheep heading to its slaughter, he succumbs to all the seduction that awaits him.   Not realizing of course, that most of these temptresses started learning the art of seduction when they were seven years old.

For a  great introduction to Thailand’s  go go dancers check out Stephen Leathers Private Dancer.

This is one of the best books about Thai bar girls and Bangkok go go dancers I’ve ever read.  Stephen Leathers Private Dancer is free via this link to Stephen’s  website.  I urge you to read Private Dancer before getting involved with a Bangkok or Pattaya bar girl.

Private dancer in the Pattaya Fun House
To find books similar to Stephen Leathers Private Dancer I strongly recommend that you visit the Alpha Productions Survival Guide Bookstore

I originally got my first copy of Stephen Leathers Private Dancer free of charge as a pdf.  But I must have bought 4 copies in paperback form since then.  I gave at least two copies away to those I felt were in dire need of the lessons to be learned in Private Dancer.   And I kept a copy for myself.    But don’t just buy Private Dancer.  Believe every word of it.

I have included Stephen Leathers Private Dancer in my Alpha Productions Survival Guide Bookstore  which I urge all readers here to visit

At the Alpha Productions Survival Guide Bookstore you will find the best selection of  books about Thai bar girls I have found.  But there are a lot of other books out there.  That pretend to give you the real scoop about the bar girls.  Many are poorly written.  I have found many authors writing such books to be absolutely clueless.  My list is a short one.

You will also find one of my own books at the Alpha Productions Survival Guide bookstore.  I have titled it, Welcome to the Funhouse.

What sets Welcome to the Fun House apart from the rest is I was on the committee running a condominium community of expats while writing it.

In Thailand.  So I got to experience firsthand a lot of the corruption that affects all falang (foreigners) who purchase condos here in Pattaya.

When you are the one who has to hire Thai managers to look after your home and your neighbors condos.  When you are the one who must look after the money of your fellow condo owners.  And you constantly must deal with vendors trying to rip the condo owners off when repairs need to be made.  Or the Pattaya land office.  The police.  And Pattaya City Hall.  And you have to know your fellow condo owners.  Those who pay their bills on time and those who don’t.  You get a unique perspective about life in Pattaya as an expat that no one else has.

But now I am looking forward to writing Welcome to the Fun House II, or Return to the Fun House.  I will be writing it soon.

I just don’t know what to call my sequel to Welcome to the Fun House.  But I’ve been on this committee for over six years now.  And I’ve now been chairman of the Fun House for four years.  Call me big boss of the Fun House.  A lot has happened since I wrote Welcome to the Fun House.

There’s the beautiful Russian woman who mysteriously drowned in the Fun House swimming pool.  Except she didn’t drown.  Then there was the Great Embezzlement where our office girl kept depositing money in her pocket instead of our condo bank account.  There’s a few incidents with the police I had to personally deal with.  And bribery at the land office.  I am about to start “Welcome to the Fun House II.  I have even picked out the perfect cover girl for the new book.  She’s young, she’s mysterious. She has the shape of a model.  And she looks positively elegant in the right dresses.

Jack Corbett

Walking Street Soi Six, which is more satisfying?

Walking Street Soi Six which does the best job giving men what they really want?  Most Pattaya expats will choose Soi Six.  In fact, most expats prefer beer bars, massage establishments, discos, or Beach Road over Walking Street.   Or just about any place freelancers like to hang out for getting a pretty Thai girl to do the dirty deed with them. And if you ask them why, they will tell you, the go go bars are for tourists who don’t know any better.

Walking Street Soi Six

Luckily you came here to find out exactly what it is about the Walking Street go go bars that turns off so many expats.

So let me tell you about last night.

Keeping in mind that I had agreed to meet several of my pals down on Walking Street later on I started off on Soi Six.  Where I chose Goodfellas to start off my evening. There were half a dozen bar girls hanging out in front of the place trolling for customers. Inside Goodfellas were another half dozen girls.  Which gave me a selection of a dozen girls or so. Several of them I could do in a heart beat. I chose one of them whose tight little ass and friendly smile rang the right bells for me.

I knew she’d go for my price–700 baht, but I didn’t want to take her upstairs right away.  Later on, I knew I’d become pretty bored in the go go bars where I’d find most of the dancers to be a complete turnoff. So I wanted to savor every precious moment I had in Goodfellas.  For both the comradery that permeated the place and the pretty girl I now had on my lap.

When her hand started to prowl between my legs I knew it was tequila time.

So I order us both one.  When she finishes hers I order myself a second beer and a second tequila for her. I want to spend the next few hours with her, but I had promised my friends I’d meet them in the go go bars.  But maybe I could spend an hour or two with this pretty girl.  And leave to find my next adventure in another Soi Six Bar.

I take her upstairs after paying for our drinks and the 300 baht charge for the room which is typical of all Soi Six Bars. The girl immediately turns on the air conditioner as I take off my shirt, shorts and underwear which I drape over a hook behind the bed. I saw that she had put two clean towels on the bed so I take one while she takes the other.  And then I follow her down the hall to the shower room.

Most Soi Six bars have a separate room for the girls and their customers to take showers before having sex. But it all depends on the bar and the room.

Because some rooms on Soi Six are like  a three star hotel room with their own private restrooms inside. Others have simple shower stalls inside the room without a toilet or washbasin.

For me, it makes no difference whatsoever so long as both the girl and I take a shower together. That’s the key.  I want to be sure that the girl washes herself completely since there’s no telling how many men she has’s banged before me.

So now let me give you a little advice. Just accept the fact that at least one man might have gotten inside your girl before you.

I have one friend who finds the evenings on Soi Six to be appalling. So he will go to Soi Six in the afternoon hoping to find a girl who’s not yet been with anyone else. The problem with that is there’s an awful lot of really ugly women on Soi Six in the afternoons. I’ve found from a lot of experience that the best looking girls will typically not show up until after 5 p.m.  And if you hang out in one of Soi Six’s open air bars for a couple of hours in the early evening you will see a lot of pretty girls just starting to show up. The difference is literally like  night and day.

In the shower my girl starts to lather my groin up. She uses a lot of soap. She spends at least one minute on my dick alone which gets good and hard.

Then she starts to wash herself off. A lot of times I’ll fill get my hand full of soap and use it to get her thoroughly lathered up between her legs.  This way there is no doubt in my mind that any possible residuals from the man who came before me are completely gone.

By the time we get back to the bedroom the air conditioned air is  just too cold for my comfort so I tell her to shut it off. Then I just relax on my back and wait for her to do what I’m paying her for. Almost always the girls start off performing oral sex, which most of them do so well that a man comes right then and there. This girl is no exception.

But when I’m about to lose it, I immediately pull myself away and tell her to lie down on her back. That’s when I start performing oral sex on her. The Trick here is I’m turning the tables on her. While she is performing oral sex on me she is my master. She knows she’s in control and can get me to spout off whenever she chooses.

But now I’m no top of her. I stop her from putting my genitals in her mouth and start focusing my thoughts entirely on that promised land between her legs.

I remember one night in particular when I got so aroused doing the girl that I came all over the sheets. But I’m not doing that this time. Oh she is beautiful enough to put me completely at her beck and call. I  love her tight little body.  And would keep performing oral sex on her for another twenty minutes.   So I turn her sideways so that she can  put my dick in her mouth. So what to do now?

I am about to come and I know she can  suck me dry like a vacuum cleaner.  Instead, I ask her to get a condom out. And then I bang her. She is exquisite.

We take another shower together.  After she washes my body and face off she tells me to go back downstairs into the bar and wait for her. I still had half a bottle of beer left so I take it with me and sit down at a small table. She stays in the room another five minutes changing the sheets for the next customer. Not all the girls will do that, but she does.  And she also leaves a tip of twenty baht on the bed for someone to clean the sheets that we had just soiled.

I hadn’t really been paying attention but Goodfellas is having a small party and there’s  a small buffet table in the back of the bar.

When my girl comes back downstairs she asks me if I’d want a little food. “Yes”, I tell her. I won’t be able to get down to Walking Street until 9:30.  So it will be too late to have dinner and my friends will have already started doing their go go bar crawl. Which means, “No food for me.” Unless I take a five minute break from all the bar crawling to go into a Seven Eleven for a candy bar or other snack.

But there’s really no choice. My girl is coming back to me with a plate full of food.  It’s primarily friend chicken with potato salad, but it will suffice for a full dinner.  And I once again have some of the best company in the world sitting next to me. I wanted to order another beer but the clock is ticking. Then I start to remember another night not long ago that I had gone to Soi Six.

It must have been a year ago when another girl from the same bar had come over and sat next to me.  I remember buying her  a drink. But I had to go meet a friend at another Soi Six bar.  So I told her that I’d probably come back.

Well, let me tell you, she was pretty damn good looking and tall for a Thai girl. I nearly hated myself for leaving her.

But I went to the other bar where I had a beer with my friend and then I came back to Good Fellas. That night there was an entire stable of good looking girls all around me. But I didn’t see the tall girl, and another girl approached me instead.

So I bought the new girl a drink.

By the time she finished groping me between my legs I decided that I wanted her.

She was average in height for a Thai girl and I’d say she weighed around 40 kilos which is around 90 pounds. She was slender and she was flat as a board, but no matter.

It was that cute little ass and shapely legs that I was after.  And she was quite an attractive little piece. I’d put her at about thirty or so.

I like them about that age because by then most of them no longer have many delusions of grandeur.  That’s because they know the clock is ticking and that their shelf life is starting to dwindle. Most of them are much better performers than the younger girls.

I told her I’d take her upstairs for 700 baht, which was fine with her. And so up we went. So to keep this part of my story short, let me just say that we had a great time in the sack. She  kept telling me she was coming, and whether it was true or not, I started to believe it.  Like I said, she was probably over thirty.  Believe me,  when a lot of Thai girls get to be around that age they  really start to excel at empowering a man’s manhood.

We went back downstairs where I bought her another drink as we sat at the bar together.

Before five minutes had gone by, the other girl came up to us, the tall girl who I had passed on before.

The girl I had just banged  spoke up and said, “I don’t mind if you want to boom boom her too.  She same same sister me.”  So upstairs we went.  And as I said, she was good looking and tall for a Thai girl with lush nicely formed breasts.

Oh, the memories and here I was about to leave the place where I already was in the best of company.

So down to Walking Street I went.

Walking Street Soi Six?

My friends were just coming out of the Lighthouse go go bar when I joined up with them. One of them said, “We just saw Lek. She’s back at Mistys Go Go Bar again. We saw her walking inside.”

I really didn’t want to go back to Misty’s again.  But Lek was a different story. She was a waitress and not a go go dancer.

And we had spent several nice times together when she was working her shift. Unfortunately she only showed up for work about half the time. But the last time I had gone into Mistys I had sat in front of the stage. One of the girls came straight up and took a seat next to me. Then she asked me to buy her a drink. I hesitated at first, because to tell you the truth she wasn’t all that attractive. But she had sat next to me several times before and one time she had actually sucked my dick.

But so had another girl, and I had liked the second girl much better who had for one thing, a body to die for. The second girl was back in the restroom, and when she didn’t come out for ten minutes I finally told the first girl I’d buy her a beer.

“But I don’t like beer,” she told me.

“You can drink a beer,”I replied. “That’s what I’m drinking.”

“I want a tequila,” she insisted.

“Okay. I buy you a tequila I told her, but only one.”

Here we were sitting at the stage with the whole place looking on when that girl started to feel my dick. And when she started in on me, the waitress came over and sat in my lap. The difference between the two was staggering because Lek was a really fine looking woman with a very firm nicely put together body.

I don’t know what really happened next but suddenly Lek had jumped off my lap and started kneeling down on the floor. Sticking her hand up my shorts she started to rub my balls and my dick, intermittently and she seemed to really be starting to enjoy herself.

I think it was about then that the girl I really wanted came out of the toilet and then if I remember correctly she started to feel my dick too. But I do remember the first girl.  The one I had bought the tequila for, coming up behind me and putting me in a headlock.  Which pinned me onto the bar stool so I could hardly move.

And here I had Lek really getting into the hand job she was giving me while at least one other girl started to grope me.

Suddenly I started to wake up to reality. Someone was ordering two more drinks on my account. And my bar bill had already exceeded 500 baht. The whole situation had gotten out of control and before I’d know it my bar tab would reach 2000 baht before another twenty minutes would go by.

One of my pals was sitting next to me and we already had this contingency covered. We both cried out in unison, “Check Bin.” Which called an immediate halt to all the game playing. There would be no more drinks in this bar tonight.

Lek took care of my bill for her as I paid her a thousand baht and she went back to the cashier to get my change.

Jim who had joined me that night and I then went outside where we smoked a cigarette and started to discuss what go go club we’d head to next. And then I felt a woman’s arms around me.

It was Lek. I asked her then what her bar fine was. And when she told me it was 800 baht I said to her, “perhaps some other time we go short time together.”

Then I said to her, “No other girl, Lek. No other girl except for you. Next time I only buy drink for you. I don’t like this game they play of everyone thinking I buy drink for them.”

Lek nodded and said that she understood. Then we left.

But that was two months ago and here she is working at Misty’s again. So my friends and I go inside the bar where they fully expect me to bar fine Lek. We take bar stools next to the stage and I tell the other waitress that I am waiting for Lek.

But wouldn’t you know it, before we even manage to get anywhere near the stage that first girl gets to me as she leads me by my hand over to the stage.

When she asks me  to buy her a drink, I tell her, “I wait for Lek. She girl for me tonight.”

But Lek’s in the toilet.

And she doesn’t come out for ten minutes. Then she sits next to me and I buy her a drink. I don’t think we are together for even ten minutes when my friends tell me that they already check binned.

And they are going to Super Girls go go next.

I stay with Lek for another five minutes.   Then I tell her I must leave to join my friends at Super Girls. I would have just stayed there with Lek.  But I really liked Super Girls.   And even though my friends didn’t, they were going there next.

I head to Super Girls but my friends aren’t there. Then I walk across the street to Super Baby which was Super Girls sister club thinking they had gone there instead. But they aren’t there either.  So  I go back to Super Girls and order a bottle of San Miguel Light. It is only then that I get the text message telling me they had gone to Dream Girls.  And that this club is next to Super Girls.

The waitresses are super friendly to me at Super Girls.  Which is widely known along with its sister club Super Baby to cater to the Japanese.

Saying that these two clubs cater to the Japanese is the understatement of the year.

There’s a Jacuzzi in both clubs. Normally two completely naked girls will cavort around in the Jacuzzi.

Nearly all Thai bar girls shave their vaginas. But not at Super Girl and Super Babys. When you watch Japanese porn movies you will immediately discover that the female porn stars have kept their pubic hair. A lot of the girls have special hairdos at Super Girl and Super Baby.  The kind of hairdos that are favored by Japanese men. And the girls normally do very little dancing on the stage. Instead they will gyrate around slowly like zombies.

I’ve heard that most Japanese men do not like aggressive women. That’s why I think the girls make a special effort not to show off their dancing skills. They want to appear submissive, the way many Japanese men prefer their women.

The bar fine’s still six hundred baht at both Super Girl and Super Baby. And beer at both the clubs is still 120 baht a bottle. Used to be there were no drink specials at either clubs. Well, there still aren’t any drink specials but most of the other clubs on Walking Street are now charging 135 to 145 baht for a bottle of beer.

Meanwhile the coyote girls have started to take over Walking Street.

Coyote girls are not really employees of the go go bar the way other dancers are. Instead they work for a company. The go go bar deals direct with the company which it pays so much to for every girl the go go bar contracts for. The price tag is very high so in order to recoup the huge amounts of money it is being charged for each coyote dancer, the go go bar will typically charge 1500 baht bar fines. That’s the normal bar fine until midnight after which goes down to 1000 baht.

So at a club like Misty’s the bar fine’s likely to be between 1000 and 1500 baht and even a service girl like Lek is going to require an 800 baht bar fine. Both Super Girl and Super Baby charge only a 600 baht bar fine unless the customer wants to bar fine one of the Jacuzzi girls. The bar fine is then 700 baht. But the two girls who are in the Jacuzzi one night are not likely to be in the Jacuzzi the next night. They will be up on stage and as “normal dancers” their bar fine will go down to 600 baht.

As for coyote dancers, once a club starts relying on them the entire ball game changes since the goal is to extort as many drinks from a club’s customers in the shortest time frame.  Supplying sexual services becomes secondary.

I am especially attracted to one of the waitresses at Super Girl , but she disappears on me about the time I’m thinking about buying her a drink. Meanwhile one of the dancers is looking me over now and then. She’s tall and very slender.

Since I’ve already decided to buy one of the Super Girl or Super Babys dancers a drink each time I came into one of these two clubs, I decide to get the girl a drink to size her up.

I get the girl’s eye and motion downwards to my beer bottle to signal her that I want to buy her a drink. But she doesn’t seem to catch on. Five minutes pass without her making a move. Finally she gets the hint and calls over a waitress to get her drink order.

Normally a girl at Super Baby or Super Girl will then come off the stage to drink the drink a customer has just bought her. Usually the pair will discuss what price the customer is willing to pay for her services. But this girl remains on the stage. Even after the waitress brings her drink up to her. Instead of joining me on the bar stool next to mine she edges up to me on the stage.  Where she proceeds to drink her cocktail while asking me a couple of inane questions.  Such as “Where do you come from?” And “How long are you staying in Pattaya?”

Walking Street Soi Six?  You hardly have girls ask you such stupid questions on Soi Six.  The girls usually ask you much more meaningful questions such as, “Do you want to come now or later?”

I should never have bought this female Walking Street leach a drink because this girl is a complete waste of time and money.

I finish my beer as quickly as I can and then I head over to Super Baby where my friends wind up joining me.

Instead of going to Super Girl they had gone to Dream Girls, the new go go bar next door to Super Baby. There a squadron of dancers had  pounced on them asking for drinks. One of my friends went through 2,000 baht in the first twenty minutes.

That kind of thing doesn’t happen at either Super Girls or Super Baby. Well, maybe it does.  Every once in awhile when a customer is really asking to be taken. But normally the girls and the bosses behave themselves in a far less aggressive manner. Which I really appreciate because who needs girls he doesn’t really want.  Just because they are throwing themselves all over you asking for drinks?

But my friends don’t especially like Super Baby so after having only one beer there we run off to the next go go bar.

But on the way, we must pass Misty’s. As we walk past Misty’s I feel a girl putting her arms around me. It’s Lek.

I decide to hell with going with my friends to the next place or two. I’m going to spend the next two or three hours with Lek.

I wind up sitting at the end of the stage on the other side of where I had been sitting before. Once again, Lek is all over me. She sits on my lap facing away from me. Then she takes my hand and sticks it  between her legs. My fingers are rubbing her privates and she wants me to keep rubbing her there. Unlike the girls at Super Girl and Super Babys, Lek’s shaved her vagina.  And probably today because it’s very smooth down there and my fingers just glide around. There’s not a trace of stubs of pubic hair left behind by the razor.

I’m getting as hard as a racehorse and Lek knows it.

I’m getting ready to make a move. I sure don’t want to be paying her any 2000 baht short time price the way most of these Walking Street go god dancers are charging these days. So I’m thinking just what I’m going to ask her and how much when suddenly she blows it.

We are joined by a second girl.

“This is my sister, Nam,” Lek tells me.

“Yeah Walking Street Soi Six?  See what I mean.  I’ll take Soi Six any day.”

How many times have I heard that line before?” I ask myself. Girls working in the bars keep telling men they have a sister so that the men will buy two drinks instead of one. After all, it’s the girl’s sister. But nine times out of ten it’s a complete lie.

“Isn’t she beautiful?” And look at her boobs. Aren’t they beautiful and large,” Lek continues as she takes my hand and places it on the other girl’s breasts.”

It’s the classic double teaming approach I tell myself and it’s intended to extract as much possible over a very short time period.

And sure enough to prove that I am 100 percent correct Lek comes out with the next line, a line that I know isn’t going to wait more than five minutes.

“Will you buy my sister a drink?” Lek asks.

I politely decline.

She’s done exactly what I’ve told her not to do, and I’ve asked her many times already not to fleece me for drinks. I immediately spout out, “Check Bin Kap (Give me my bill please). Visibly very surprised Lek gets up to get my bill squared away with the cashier. Then she returns with the bill and tells me, “Thank you for buying my sister a drink.”

Walking Street Soi Six?  This never happened to me at Soi Six.  Not once.

I never saw it.  No one at the bar even asked me to buy that first drink for Lek’s so called sister. How those two girls slipped that one by me I’ll never know.

I must have had a couple too many to have let them get away with that one. Lek had already gotten one drink out of me for the bar girl and I might have very easily gotten two drinks for her while thinking to myself. One drink won’t hurt any and surely Lek won’t try to keep milking me for drinks for the other girls.

But she did.

My blood was boiling yet I remained calm and paid my bill. And that concludes this little story of mine. So I once again ask the question: Walking Street  Soi Six which is more satisfying? I think you know how I feel. As for yourselves, that is your call. Just keep in mind, you have been warned.

For a lot more information about go go dancers check out Stephen Leather’s “Private Dancer”  This is one of the best books about Thai bar girls and Bangkok go go dancers I’ve ever read.  Private Dancer here as a pdf file is free from Stephen Leather’s web site.  I urge you to read “Private Dancer” before getting involved with a Bangkok or Pattaya bar girl.


Billy Bob