Tag Archives: Norwegian

Marooned in Naklua Pen Bar with uncontrollable Pattaya bar girls

Four hours of unrelenting rain marooned us in Naklua Pen Bar with uncontrollable Pattaya bar girls.  With flood waters 24 inches deep there was no escape.

“This is the first time hurricane come to Pattaya,” Pen with a smirk.   I think you and Peter must spend night at bar,” she continued.

Peter and I had come to the bar five hours ago.  Driving our motorbikes.  But after five hours steady drinking we could see clearly now.  That there was no way out for us.  We’d just have to wait out the storm and suffer.  Luckily there was an ATM nearby.

But is Peter man enough to stand up to these uncontrollable Pattaya bar girls?

Now there’s one thing that can be said about Peter.  He’s a dedicated man of principle.  The man’s Norwegian.  He’s one of those hard nosed tough Scandinavians running those factory fishing boats north of the Arctic circle.  Think Viking warrior of 800 ad. invading English monasteries.  Pillaging every valuable in sight.  While putting all the monks to the sword.  And you have a fundamental understanding of Peter.  The man’s on a ship for three months.  Then he spends three months in Pattaya boozing it up and sleeping with a different woman every night.   This man’s definitely worthy of his ancestors.

He’s as tough as nails.  But there’s no way he’s getting home tonight until the raging storm lets up. Luckily he’s got a cast iron stomach.  And luckily that in Norway he spends Twelve dollars for a can of beer.  Because it’s going to take a lot of alcohol to quench his thirst tonight.

Who says you have to go to Pattaya’s Go Go Bars for a great time? Real expats such as Peter claim Walking Street’s only for tourists who don’t know any better.

Peter’s started  out for just another typical night by his lonesome.   But my girlfriend is sitting just to my right, which is pretty good reason for my repeatedly telling one of the bar girls to stop what she’s doing to me.   But I have no choice.  Other than resigning myself to being a victim of uncontrollable Pattaya bar girls.  Girlfriend or no girlfriend.  Because the storm will completely drench us before we get 100 meters down the road on our motorbikes.

We are stuck here for the duration. This has been absolutely one of our favorite neighborhood bars going on something like 7 years now. England has its neighborhood pubs.  And the United States has its neighborhood taverns for the locals to hang out at.  But we are eternally grateful to have places like this close by to our condos.  Where the women are plentiful.  The weather never turns too cold.  So we can ride our motorbikes year round, drink as much as we want and never have to worry about the police giving us a DWI.

Sexy Pattaya bar girls Video introducing Mam and Kwan for the first time

Choosing a Pattaya Drinking Street bar at random, we shot this Sexy Pattaya bar girls video for the first time, featuring Mam and Kwan.

two Sexy Pattaya bar girls
Introducing Kwan.  This is the first video I took of the two Sexy Pattaya bar girls, Kwan and Mam.

I spotted Kwan dancing on the bar across the Pattaya Drinking Street bar complex.  And out of more than twenty bars, Kwan was the most sensational woman in this entire complex.  I had to meet her.  So I took my companions to the bar and immediately bought Kwan a tequila.  Little did I realize back then, that Kwan and I would be having many tequilas together after that first night.  Or that Kwan would move into my condo building a year later.  But not in my condo.  Kwan moved in with an Englishman, in an  identical condo to mine four floors above me.  But he was in England most of the time, so Kwan oftentimes visited me and my gf.  As in nearly every day.

I’m getting ahead of my story though.  And this Sexy Pattaya bar girls Video.  Two Sexy Pattaya bar girls dance in this video.  Mam and Kwan.  And this is where I start lying to all of you.  Back in the United States I used to write for three adult magazines.   I shot pictures of sexy American feature entertainers and strippers professionally.  All over the United States.  That’s when Big Daddy and I became great friends.  I can go on and on about Big Daddy.  You can use the Alpha Productions search engine to find get a lot of good info on him.  How he managed 15 strip clubs in the U.S. when we first met.  And how he hired me to shoot his new club in Missouri, Big Daddy’s Cabaret.

But I gotta get back to my point.  About how I started lying about Kwan and Mam.  Big Mike, the general manager at the Lumberyard strip club in Des Moines, Iowa, Big Daddy and I started SPEW.  Which is an acronym for Sexy Professional Exotic Wrestling.  Now Big Daddy might have been a strip club owner, but he was also an ex professional wrestler who used to appear on television.  He used to be a strip club dj until his voice gave out.  And let me tell you, Big Daddy loved getting behind the microphone.  And still does.  He’s also a terrific bullshitter.  And that’s where all my lying about these two Two Sexy Pattaya bar girls starts.

This is just one of thousand of pictures I shot covering S.P.E.W. Notice how close I am to the two strippers. Paradise the girl on the right worked for Big Mike at the Lumberyard in Des Moines Iowa. The girl on the left worked at Big Daddy’s Cabaret. 420 miles separates the two clubs. We used to get five Missouri strippers travel to Iowa. And then two weeks later five Iowa strippers would travel to MIssouri to wrestle against the Missouri girls. As the official Spew photographer I used to travel in the van with Big Daddy and the girls.  Big Daddy appears in a red tuxedo in the blurred background.  I would blur the backgrounds deliberately to protect the identities of the customers.

We’d get two strippers wresting totally nude.  While Big Daddy’s on the microphone dressed in a tuxedo announcing a “fight to the finish” between the two strippers.  The two strippers are sisters.  And one of the sisters starts banging the other sister’s boyfriend.  And that’s when Big Daddy decides to pit the two strippers against each other to see who gets the boyfriend.  But it’s all a line of total horse shit.  The two strippers are friends.  Hours before the grudge match we are all rehearsing this grand farce.

While the two strippers are wrestling, someone slices the forehead of one of the two wrestlers with a razor.  But the audience doesn’t see this.  The crowd goes wild as the blood begins to flow.

But back to Kwan and Mam.  I put a couple of videos of Mam and Kwan on YouTube.  In which I am billing the two Two Sexy Pattaya bar girls as sisters.  Mam’s the older sister while Kwan is the younger sister.

Sexy Pattaya bar girls
Kwan in the red dress over to the left. We usually had a group in those days, and Kwan was very much a part of our group. Sadly Drinking Street has changed. The music’s terrible there now. Because it’s geared to Thai bar girl tastes, the Indians and Arabs who now comprise most of the customer base there. Mam is long gone. And Kwan only works sporadically on Drinking Street. And our group has dispersed. Each of us preferring other bars

They aren’t sisters.  And I don’t think Mam and Kwan ever liked each other.  They are the two stars of Pattaya Drinking Street.  They are the two best dancers.  And Drinking Street has never seen the likes since.

Coming soon.   The original grudge match that started SpewDirty Heather against Killer Kloey.  And I guarantee that YouTube will never show this video because it’s totally nude.  The problem is that I could never get this video to stream on my Alpha Productions web site.  Until now.   In this match the blood is going to flow.

Krazy Ted. Big Daddy’s just cut Ted with a razor during the first S.P.E.W. death match.