Tag Archives: strip club

The Mothers of a More Boring Nation are at it again persecuting the Devil Incarnate (strip club owner Sam Stimmel)

A few hours after I returned from Macau and Hong Kong I saw this this link a friend of mine posted in the Lost Angels Chat. Sam Stimmel, a very good friend of mine who owned a strip club in North Webster, Indiana has once again enraged some of the stalwart God fearing members of this Indiana community resulting once again in his persecution for owning and running a strip club. Sam was arrested for prostitution, unethical business practices, etc. and bail was set for $100,000. Once again the medieval inquisitors of Indiana have set their racks in motion while gathering the firewood for the witches of their worse nightmares. Sam always was one of the most ethical men I have ever met. I knew him quite well and only wish most men could be as kind and as fair minded as Sam’s been in all the years I’ve known him. It was therefore fitting for me to add my take on this “Devil Incarnate” and to offer it up to the discussion that followed the police raid and subsequent arrest of my friend. What follows is a link to my Devil Incarnate article I wrote for Xtreme a very long time ago about the continuing persecution of my good friend by the god fearing stalwart citizens of Indiana who object to having a strip club in their state.

I wrote The Devil Incarnate years ago for “Extreme Magazine” All of this story is true just as I wrote it. And oh yes,the police officers allowed the two men who maced Stimmelators to get away with their crime and almost jailed Sam Stimmel for protesting thus proving that one of the founding principles of the Mothers for a More Boring Nation is it’s okay to intentionally injure strippers and patrons of a strip club, while it is a cardinal sin to own or operate a strip club. After all Mace comes in a can like container like Raid so it’s just as good on strippers, strip club managers and topless club customers as Raid is on cockroaches, which according to the Mothers for a More Boring Nation are one notch above insects on the evolutionary ladder.

I’ve been living in Thailand for over 8 years. And just yesterday I returned from Macau and Hong Kong where Saturday night my Thai girlfriend and a Canadian friend and I strolled down the Wanchai district, drinking from our 20 oz cans of beer. I cannot imagine the police allowing me to walk down the streets of St. Louis or Indianapolis drinking beer from cans. But this is normal where I now reside in Thailand so if I do not finish a beer in one bar I can stroll down the street beer in hand, sit down at another bar, finish my drink and order another one. As a matter of fact, I can do this in Vietnam as well. But Macau and Hong Kong are now part of China, formerly known as Red (Communist China), and I can assure everyone here that in many ways one has a much greater sense of freedom in Commie Land than one does in the U.S. Believe me when I tell you that the U.S. has become a very sterile and very boring place where spice of any kind is practically non-existent. The U.S. is a police state with a medieval mentality that would have done Hitler’s Nazi kingdom proud.

I am very familiar with Sam Stimmel and Stimmelators going back to its Cruisers days. Although I lived in the St. Louis area I’d visit Sam and his club every six or eight weeks and usually wound up staying at Sam’s house. Sometimes I’d bring friends with me all of whom Sam welcomed into his home for the weekend. The Sam I knew had a heart that was bigger than Texas. And as for his club, it was about as milk toast as it gets, Blue pasties to cover a dancer’s nipples? Pecks on each customers cheeks as each dancer comes off the stage as she comes around the room for dollar tips? This was all pretty innocent stuff compared to the strip clubs I used to hang out at in East St. Louis. And compared to Thailand and much of the rest of this part of the world I’ve visited it was about as innocent as a church. But so it goes, the vendetta against this Devil Incarnate continues while these eyes gazing across over 8000 miles holds any man, and any woman who’s part of this persecution in complete contempt.

Using the Google tool bar on my alphapro.com web site

It appears on most of my alphapro.com web pages as a relatively large toolbar just beneath the hit counters. And it works just like the Google Search engine all of us are so familiar with. The reason it works the same is that it is, except for two important differences. 1. To access it, you must be on one of my alphapro.com web pages and you go to the actual web page itself to use it, and 2. It focuses primarily upon alphapro.com content. And believe me there’s a lot of content there. Just consider that Alphapro has been in existence non stop since 1996. That’s 17 years.

The video slide show I just put up at Alphapro alerted me to just how valuable this Google tool bar is to those who are interested in the content at alphapro. For example, Big Howard, who was assistant manager at the Dollies Playhouse, is one of the predominant characters in the slide show and so is Alabama who plays the irrepressible topless nun, Sister Margarita. To some upon viewing Howard apparently sucking on one of Diamond’s breasts in the Dollies restroom Big Howard might be a despicable degenerate. But Big Howard was in real life a gentle giant who was beloved by most of the strippers who worked for him. He also became one of my best friends. For those who want to know more about Big Howard, just plug in “Big Howard” as search words in the Alphapro Google tool bar and you will come up with a lot of amusing content that’s focused on him. There’s pictures of Howard playing the pervert with Dollies strippers on one of the club’s back stages. There’s Big Howard playing the part of Studmuffin. I’ll not even try to explain what studmuffin means here. Just look it up in the Google tool bar. Or how about Alabama or Marilyn Mynxxx, the two strippers playing the two nuns, Sister Cuervo and Sister Margarita? There’s a lot of good stuff at Alphapro about both women.

I actually had more fun in the U.S. back in 1997 and 1998 than I do here in Pattaya, Thailand which has to be about the most fun city in the world. Much of the reason was because of people like Big Howard, Alabama and Marilyn Mynxxx. A lot of it had to do with the strip clubs I hung out in, especially Dollies Playhouse. Back then, all the great entertainment and bars were not in St. Louis. Why? For one thing the bars all closed across the Mississippi over in Missouri at 1 a.m. whereas many of the bars and night clubs on the Illinois side of the river stayed open all night long. And the Missouri strip clubs were pretty milk toast compared to those in the St. Louis Metro East on the Illinois side. And back when I was hanging out at Dollies using it for my favorite neighborhood tavern, I often hung out with three strippers, and all three of them would stay at the same hotel. At the end of their shifts, which would usually run between 2 a.m. and 4 a.m. I’d often continue my drinking and partying with one of these three strippers and when we finally hit a few clubs and bars and got all tired out, I’d stay in the room with her, paying her half the $40.00 she had to spend for each night. Back in 1997 I was still living at my farm which was 75 miles from such clubs as Dollies whereas the hotel was just three miles away. Later I’d move off the farm and get an apartment on the St. Louis East side that was just one mile from the hotel.

But there were many other strippers I often hung out with. As for the East side, and the people I hung out with, and even the hotel itself, much as changed. The hotel is no longer there. Instead there’s a large complex of restaurants and shops headed by a Super Wall Mart and a Home Depot. And Big Howard’s no longer alive. He was badly injured driving his car from Killians, his favorite bar when he was struck by a woman who had just lost control of her car because she was being beaten up on by her boyfriend. He wound up in a wheelchair and died a couple of years later from his injuries.

Ironically, Dollies and my experiences there had their heyday while it was being run by a murderer. When I first started doing my digital pictures there and the club started paying for a separate phone line for my digital office, the club’s general manager was Hawk, and Hawk was a wonderful person and a terrific manager. (look him up in my Google toolbar at alphapro). Hawk was a biker I suppose and he was friends with Marriah one of the strippers at Dollies. Marriah had become a great friend of mine so it wasn’t long before Marriah started pestering Hawk to allow me to bring my laptop into the club and start taking pictures there. Hawk was a smart guy who knew intuitively that the future of photography would be digital. It was his idea that the club should put in a special phone line for me and that I’d have my own special seat and table just five feet from the club’s main stage. But it was left for one of the club’s strippers, Satin, and me to run all the phone wires up in the club’s attic where I put in a t connection so that I could connect my laptop to a phone line in the front room by the stage and also another connecting line in the club’s new room in back. Later Hawk would have me take Satin to Big Als in Peoria, Illinois so that he could enter her in the Miss Nudes Illinois competition there representing Dollies. I remember Hawk telling me, “If I can’t get the club to pay your hotel and other travel expenses, I pay them out of my own pocket.” But Hawk got the club owner to pay Satin’s and my expenses in Peoria. What many of us suspected by then was that the owner was a killer.

It was Marriah who first alerted me that Nathan Eggemeyer had undoubtedly murdered his partner, Steven Masters. The second person who suggested the possibility was Hawk when he politely came of to my little table in front of the stage while I was playing with my laptop and asked me to come into his office with him. “Can you help me find out what happened to Steve?” Hawk asked me. No one’s seen him for weeks but they found his pickup.” By then I already suspected that Steve was dead, thanks to Marriah. Hawk undoubtedly did as well.

“Perhaps you can use your internet skills and connections to find out for me,” said Hawk.

But they actually found Steve’s body around a year later. The two men had been partners, and one of them felt the other had cheated him. Nathan shot Masters on a property he owned where he had a trucking company. But the body was not found until Nathan’s son came to the police. In the meantime, business went on as usual at Dollies. Nathan would come into the club every now and then. But he let Hawk run the place with very little interference. Hawk had several managers working under him, and both men would often enthusiastically play roles in our internet online skits. For that matter, so did Hawk, who played the “unsuspecting club manager” in the first Dollies Trendy Toilet Sex” episode when Sister Margarita, an “intoxicated nun” wandered by mistake into a strip club to relieve her bowels.

Everything went so smoothly in those days. Hawk was left alone. And he kept coming up with great ideas on how the club could attract more customers than ever. As for myself, I was allowed to take pictures with complete abandon. But after the body was found, Nathan was out of the picture after finding a new home in the penitentiary. Hawk found himself more and more on the outside looking in as the murdered club owner’s widow started taking a more active interest in running the club. My picture taking activities became increasingly restricted and eventually I was barred from the club for bringing leaches into the place which I had awarded to Alabama’s boyfriend for being the Lost Angels Leach of the Year. Even so I remained great friends with Big Howard, not to mention a number of the Dollies dancers. But being kicked out of the club meant that I had to find another digital office where I could find a number of strippers to be my accomplices. That club would be Visions in Centerville, Illinois.

Nuns Take over the Dollies Playhouse Strip Club

Or that was the story line back in 1997-1998. In those days I had my Kodak DC-40 digital camera when practically everyone else was using film. It could only manage around 375,000 pixels. To give you an idea of how inferior this camera was to today’s equipment my present Nikon D-300 will do around 13 million pixels while the top of the line Nikon SLR digital camera will manage around 35 million pixels. Other photographers derided my Kodak as a toy. Little did they know that film would soon be dead. The Kodak provided instant gratification, and strip club owners, managers, and strippers couldn’t get enough of it. I’d bring my laptop into the Dollies Playhouse strip club and my digital camera and we’d all start doing these digital skits with everyone hamming it up in the club. I’d come up with a story line and then I’d have all the people in the strip club acting out my crazy scripts. We used to even have Dollies Trendy Toilet Sex in the club’s restrooms. The idea would be to get as many people as possible into one of the toilets and then they’d all start to act weird and I’d start taking pictures. Afterwards I’d go to my digital office in the club which was around five feet from the club’s main stage. Dollies even provided me with my own separate phone line so I could get online with my laptop so I’d sit there with all my friends who were mostly strippers and work on my digital images. Then I’d put them into the Lost Angels chats and people would tune in from all around the country.

In general people are vain. They like to be the center of attention, especially strippers and strip club owners and managers, strip club DJ’s, waitresses, etc. So if I could get someone’s picture in front of the whole world in half an hour and other photographers using film would tell their fans, “I’ll get them developed and show you the results tomorrow” who is the better photographer?” I’d be drinking beer and tequila with all my friends at Dollies with my faithful laptop in front of me, and man, everybody would go wild.

Click here to get the page, Nuns Take over the Dollies Playhouse Strip Club which has the links to this slide show-video. I didn’t dare put this up on You Tube because it shows a fair amount of nudity while taking a few pot shots at organized religion. Big Howard’s my pal. He was assistant manager at Dollies and we sure drank a lot of tequila and beer together. In this slide show he’s hamming it up in the club’s toilet with a bare breasted stripper who calls herself Diamond. Then there’s a series of pictures of sexy Cylina I did a photo shoot of in the club’s attic in front of mirrors. Cylina then plays the part of an unruly high school student in “School Girls” with Obsession. Their teacher is Sister Cuervo, played by Marilyn Mynxxx. Marilyn’s even wearing a nun’s habit to play her part. Finally Alabama appears as Sister Margarita wearing her habit also. There’s one picture of her serving me a portion of Methyl blue in a Chinese restaurant where we had a party. The stuff makes anyone who drinks it piss blue, and Alabama drank her portion too so we both peed in technicolor for a few hours. Lastly, there’s the classic picture of a fully nude Alabama sitting on the toilet at Dollies posing for pictures.

And so it was back then. We were all wild and crazy and my digital camera recorded the strip club action. Back then Tequila was the drink of choice for the ladies and men like Big Howard and me.

In 1997 we were the only online game in town in U.S. Strip Clubs

The evidence is indelibly etched into everyone’s faces in this slideshow I took from pictures I took in 1997 at Cruisers Gentlemen’s Club when our gang from Dollies Playhouse strip club visited our stripper friends in the North Webster, Indiana Club. In those days nobody brought digital cameras into strip clubs and everyone who is in this slide show knows it. Back then film ruled the day and if anything was going to go onto the internet all that film had to be developed, then scanned. But living in those dark ages of film and scanners was not for us. This time we’d get our pictures of all those beautiful Indiana stripper friends of ours onto my digital camera and then from the Indiana club owner’s office we’d put them online into the Lost Angels chat room within a half hour of the pictures being taken.

That was in 1997 when everyone else thought digital cameras were only toys, and that real photographers only used film. Back then we were the only game in town that was foolish enough to resort to those plastic little play toys that wound up killing film forever.

Photographing naked women–When is enough enough?

Sculpture of Venus by RodinShooting pictures of fully naked women came with the territory. About every two months I’d be driving somewhere new in the United States to cover the Pure Talent Agency’s feature showcases (which I won’t describe here because I’ve already done so at Amazon.com where my latest book, Extreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World is being sold. For example, I traveled to Providence Rhode Island to shoot hundreds of pictures a night at Club Fantasies for Pure Talent while staying in the same hotel as the feature entertainers who were performing in the showcase. Three times I’d travel to Big Al’s in Peoria, Illinois to shoot Pure Talent feature showcases. I did at least one showcase at the Lumberyard Strip Club in Des Moines, Ia. (The place really is an adult night club). Later I’d return to cover Miss Nude World at the Lumberyard, and after that I’ve lost count of how many times I’d come back to cover numerous adult events such as SPEW (Sexy Professional Exotic Wrestling) for Big Daddy and Big Mike (the Lumberyard’s G.M.) There would be a feature showcase at Lafayette, Indiana for the Continental Agency, two feature showcases for Pure Talent at the Candy Store in Mobile, Alabama, two more feature showcases for Pure Talent in Philadelphia and Baltimore, and so on. And that’s just the tip of the iceberg. There’s no telling how many digital pictures I wound up taking, but it’s has to be 100,000 or so, and after shooting the Rhode Island Showcase I turned in my Canon G-2 digital camera for the Nikon D-1 X, Nikon’s top of the line professional camera which set me back over $5000 for the camera body plus another $1300 for my favorite lens. By then I had decided that within the limits of what I could afford the women I was shooting deserved the best. Furthermore I was shooting for Pure Talent while writing for Xtreme Magazine, and I was doing professional work with an amateur camera which I felt was like bringing a BB gun to a gun fight. The Nikon D-1 X with the lens I had gotten could easily deliver over 1000 pictures a night at a quality level the other photographers around me could not match. That lens was so fine that even today I marvel at how it was able to produce a Three D effect. The entertainers seemed to literally be jumping out of their backgrounds. Lesser lenses simply wouldn’t do it. During all of this I met so many naked ladies that I cannot begin to count them. Such superior results came not because I was the superior photographer. It simply took a lot longer for other professional photographers to catch up. Several of them were having their equipment provided by the magazines they were shooting for and it took awhile for such magazines to catch onto the fact that shooting with film simply was no longer competitive. Photographers shooting next to me had to keep reloading their expensive Nikon film cameras while I was able to shoot over two hundred pictures before I had to pull my memory card out and put a new one in, a process that took less than 10 seconds. Other photographers covering the same events I was covering were using lesser cameras than the D-1 X that were fitted with cheaper lenses. Even today, I can tell a big difference between the heavy 28-70 mm Silent Wave Nikon lens and my much newer 18 by 200 mm Nikon that has anti vibration and all the other bells and whistles that retails for around $600.

And now, with my publishing Extreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World, once again the question has come up over how much nudity I should allow in the pictures I was publishing?

For me, the naked female body can be a beautiful thing. But during the past thirty years or so the average American has put on over 25 pounds, and although the guys compose part of this average the women have been even worse. Meanwhile clothing styles have evolved into what I will call the gunnysack cut. For men most of whom have pot bellies once they reach a certain age and fat behinds, this amounts to a lot of extra material in the legs and seats of their pants. For women, garments have evolved into gunny sacks of shapeless cut. Oftentimes they are called suits. But make no mistake, these “suits” were designed to hide the human body. But for those who’ve got it, it’s best to flaunt it. So show it off if you’ve got a nice trim waist or finely sculpted back muscles (Leah Layne comes to mind here who I’ve featured with the Tec 9). As for naked breasts, if they look nice show them for God’s sake. Most people wouldn’t shirk away at all from a woman who’s breast feeding her baby in public. But for a stripper to expose her breasts on stage, that’s bad. And why is it bad? It’s bad because strip clubs are bad evil places in the eyes of many people. But which is really more beautiful, a trim naked stripper showing off a pair of nicely formed breasts or a woman who’s recently been pregnant, pulling her breasts out of her bloated body to give milk to her baby? If you ask me the reason so many are offended when a stripper shows off her body, is jealousy compounded by the fact that whenever a prettier, more physically attractive woman shows off her well proportioned body, that act of displaying her beautiful body acts as a sad reminder of the far less attractive woman’s shortcomings. So, for those who appreciate real beauty in the female body, nakedness is good while wearing gunnysacks amounts to a huge cover up for all the bad habits the Western world has gotten into these past thirty years such as gluttony, unwillingness to exercise, too much drinking, and the denial of what one has become. But now that I’ve said all of that, I’ll also contend that too much of a good thing is just too much.

Even today now that I’m living in Pattaya, Thailand which probably has the largest number of the best looking women in the whole world, if you were to take me into six Pattaya go go bars, a couple of my friends might be inclined to say that two of them are good because the go-go dancers are completely naked whereas the other four are just so-so because the women are partially clothed. But I could care less because I’m far more concerned with how beautiful the women are, are they friendly or not friendly, will I be treated as a number or are at least some of the girls more willing to put in a better effort to get to know me just a little, even if ultimately their bottom line goal is to make as much money off of me as they can. The same was true in all the American clubs I used to visit. In the U.S. not only was it important for a club to have good looking women, it was equally important for me to establish some kind of meaningful rapport with at least one of the girls. In the course of establishing such a rapport I’d start to look at the women as much more than strippers taking off their clothes–I’d look at them as real people who I either really liked, despised or was ambivalent about.

At Nudes-A-Poppin all 100 of the female contestants would be roaming around the outdoor nude beauty pageant completely naked. Here I’d first meet Dirty Heather, Darien Ross, Pleasure and Pain, Leah Layne, and Amy, all six of whom would later be featured in my Extreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World articles. The thing about Nudes-A-Poppin is that after a few hours and definitely by the second day all that nudity started to get a little too overwhelming and one would find oneself once again wishing to find women wearing at least some clothing. The problem was that any slight physical defect in a contestant’s naked body would detract from her overall sexuality. The whole thing would start to become just a little too clinical. The other thing that started to bother me about shooting women in the nude was when the nudity started to go just a little too far.

My personal feeling on the subject is that a woman’s privates should remain private. Now I really don’t have any problems shooting pictures of naked women from a distance or in such a manner that her private areas do not appear in the pictures. Here I must draw a distinction between showcasing a picture of the most exquisitely formed breasts and all those vaginal shots that get so much attention in practically all porn. A sculpture of a naked Venus by a Rodin or Michelangelo would be considered art while I’d consider a picture that displays a woman’s privates while she’s playing with a dildo to be grotesque. Such pictures diminish the real woman lurking inside the body that’s showing off its most intimate areas. As for ass shots, I see nothing wrong with taking pictures of a woman’s ass so long as the picture suggests only that her body is very beautiful rather than showing something else, that is the stuff of porn.

Once in awhile I’d be called upon to shoot pictures of an entertainer who’s sticking a dildo up her private areas. I can’t say that I was actually disgusted by someone doing a show that featured weird tricks with a dildo, but I was at least more than a little bored by doing those kinds of pictures. The same would be true about shooting pictures of women having oral sex during a shower show. Once again, I felt that those kinds of pictures diminish the women who whether they are pretending to get it on in during the shower show or really getting into doing the real thing. In fact this is exactly what happened that weekend when Lolly Topps and her boyfriend visited me during a photo shoot I was doing of her for the SKS Xtreme Magazine article. After doing the shoot with Lolly Topps posing with Vic Meyer’s SKS the three of us had dinner together and then I took them to one of my favorite St. Louis Metro East strip clubs. Danny and I were talking and enjoying our beers together when Lolly Topp came back from visiting the club’s restroom fuming. Lollytops announced to both of us that one of the club’s customers had tried to grab her breasts and that she had almost slugged the man on the spot. A few minutes later two of the club’s naked entertainers started to practice cunnilingus on each other in a shower show as the club’s male customers cheered them on. Lollytopps kept repeating over and over to us, “I can’t believe this. I’ve never seen anything like that done in a club before.”

Plainly Lolly Tops was just flat out disgusted. Yet how many times had I taken nude pictures of her? And while being announced at Club Maximus while competing for MS. Texas, not to mention at other adult events the M.C. would be announcing Lolly’s credits including her being a porn star. When? I’d like to know because if I can imagine Lolly Tops doing porn at all it would probably have to be with her boyfriend alone in a bathtub filled to the brim with bubbles as they proceeded to sail a little toy boat back and forth in between the bubbles.

I got to know Lolly pretty well, and whenever I was around her I’d get the most wonderful vibes that I rarely ever felt when I was around a woman. I’m not sure but I think it was during the Miss Nude World pageant that I fell asleep in Lolly Topps room for a few minutes while she quietly talked with one of the other entertainers. She was just good people and that’s the best explanation I can give of her.

I really don’t know what Lolly Topps is doing right now. I’ve been living in Thailand for seven years now. And although I talked just three days ago with Arianna a Del on Skye I doubt if Arianna could tell me what Montana Steel is up to even though both women are from Louisville and that when I first became acquainted with them they were rooming together in a hotel room Big Al was paying for during a Pure Talent Feature Showcase. But I had gotten to know Montana as a very intelligent personable woman who was as common, ordinary and unpretentious as they come. I sure don’t want to be publishing any pictures of Montana where men can gawk at the display of her privates. And so it goes. As a group these were some of the finest women I’ve ever gotten to meet. It’s been a real privilege to work with them on the Extreme Magazine photo shoots not to mention all the other times we got to work together.

So here we are. There are now three distinct versions of Extreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World. Although I’ve already mentioned that I tamed some of the pictures down in order to attract a wider readership, I’ve eliminated the display of a woman’s privates out of respect for both myself and the women who did such an outstanding job in the photo shoots. And I’ve gone even further by covering up all shots of a woman’s breasts even though I have no personal problems displaying them. What I wanted was for the totality of my models’ overall attractiveness to shine in the pictures in a book that will hopefully be around for a long time. Because if I can, if I ever had the talent to do it, I’d prefer for this book to later on be considered as pure art.

Publish “Dick Fitswell, man in search of the Perfect Fit”?

To do Fitswell or not to do him, that is the question. I’ve done him already, having published his first five misadventures in two small adult magazines. But Jim Lilly’s advice not to write Fitswell under my normal pseudonym still haunted me. Jim Lilly was the owner of the Wild Times Magazine, a small St. Louis based adult publication, and Jim was excited about getting me to create Dick Fitswell, having come all the way over from the St. Louis side to my East side apartment. Jim might have been all fired up about Fitswell, but I wasn’t. I wanted him to publish, Return to Visions a piece I had written about my returning to Visions Gentlemen’s club of my favorite strip clubs down scenic route 157 that meanders along the Mississippi River bluffs where the river long ago had made its channel. That night I had taken one of the dancers home from the club the long way. Early that morning, the girl and I had gone over to Monk’s Mound, climbed its steps and surveyed the landscape, a hundred feet below us, in the moonlight–a landscape of prehistoric Indian mounds of a once proud civilization now called Cahokia Mounds. To make a long story short I reluctantly agreed to write Fitswell in return for Jim’s publishing Return to Visions in his magazine. And now, after having finally written 28 episodes the real issue is whether to pull the plug and to publish the new Fitswell book or not.

Dick Fitswell is a horrible man whose only goal in life is to bang as many women as possible. But this single goal is only a means to an end, which is to find the perfect fit for his overly large male appendage. Whether he gets along with a woman or doesn’t and whether she’s a good person or not doesn’t matter, and for that matter whether she’s beautiful, although it helps, doesn’t begin to measure up to whether she fits or not. The Fitswell stories are pornographic, and I’ve never liked porn very much. But ever since getting halfway through writing the first Dick Fitswell story I’ve never stopped laughing as I’ve brought my character through one improbable misadventure after the other. Whereas the least enjoyable part of writing about Fitswell’s experience was writing about him having sex, I’d have the most fun thinking about where I’d drop him off next and how I could create a situation where Fitswell would get his just deserts right after doing something despicable to one of his female victims.

The question once again is, if I go even more public with Fitswell while admitting that I’m his creator, will this jeopardize any possible success for “Death on the Wild Side” or “Welcome to the Fun House?” And would I be tainting the name Jack Corbett by publicizing a book whose content is so pornographic? But the word pornographic doesn’t really fit here, however. I never intended my Fitswell stories to arouse the erotic instincts of my future readers. Instead my whole intent was to poke fun at the kind of men who behave like wanna bee Fitswells as well as those women who stupidly fall for such cretins. It was only when I got nearly halfway through writing the Fitswell series that organized religion became the subject of several of the stories.

If there has ever been any question of holding back on the Fitswell book, the Republican Party’s turning to the Far Right as we approach the coming election has convinced me to go full steam ahead. I find its policies, and its lying along with its chief propaganda tool, “Fox News” to be a hundred times more appallingly grotesque than anything Dick Fitswell does in my stories even if there wasn’t any humor in them or even a glimmer of hope for good satire. Fitswell is in the face, crude writing that is impossible to ignore, and I’m not sure how he’s going to be taken. It’s time for a few good laughs, however, and I think Fitswell’s time has come.

So I’m doing it. Expect the Fitswell paperback within two weeks.