Pattaya Soi Six girl speaks of Thailand Korean Brothels

Noi,  a Pattaya Soi Six girl just spilled her guts to me about Thailand Korean Brothels  where she earned 200000 baht a month.

Thailand Korean Brothels
I figures it’s my job to give all you horny guys the real scoop about all dem Thailand Korean Brothels you keep hearing about. So now we are abouts to give you the whole truth from Noi who just spent 7 months in a Korean hell hole where she fucked over 1500 Koreans in 7 months.

Now you guys gotsa picture this.  I’ve known Noi for 4 years now.  She’s one of my best pals on Pattaya Soi Six.  Damn good looking too, but a great set of tits on her.  We’s good friends but you can be damn sure we’s never been Platonic.  Well Noi here, she warns me all about what’s happening in your life.  And tells me the truth too.  So what’s we gotsa say about dem Thailand Korean brothels is the real gospel.

Intro to Thailand Korean brothels

Well I hadn’t seen Noi in 10 months.  So I gets me a haircut on Soi Six in the mornin and I suddenly see Noi back at her old Soi Six bar.  She’s waving at me.  Friendly gal this Noi even if she’s a hardened professional prostitute.

She’s so excited when she sees me.  I can’t wait to tell you all about Korea.  Can you see me tonight?

A few hours later she tells me about how these agents recruit Thai prostitutes to work for Thailand Korean brothels.  The girls then disappears from the civilized world for three months.  And in Noi’s case 7 months.   But all dem stories is basically true.  Dem Thai prostitutes makes lots of money, but they becomes prisoners in dem Thailand Korean brothels.  I call these Thailand Korean brothels because most of the inmates are oftentimes Thai ladies.  Whereas the prisons themselves are Korean.  Made by Korean labor.  Out of steel and concrete from Korea.

Life in dem Thailand Korean brothels is like being in combat during war time if you are in the Army

That means living in dem Thailand Korean brothels is terrible and disgusting.  So maybe I should have called these Thailand Korean brothels Thai Korean whorehouses.  On account of brothel being a nice word whereas whorehouse has a low life ring to it.

So here’s how life in these Thailand Korean brothels goes.   Noi gets assigned to a room on level one of a building.  She’s on a 24 hour shift.  This means she must be available to a customer at all times.  Perhaps she sleeps for one hour.  Then a bell rings and she must be ready, looking beautiful.  She wakes up.

Thailand Korean Brothels

He pays 3600 baht.  Noi gets 1200 baht.  The agent gets 400 baht (for each fuck that she does).  This leaves 2000 baht to the owner of the establishment.  But he has several buildings.  And there’s a lot of girls doing the tricks for him.  He’s rich.

When the forty minutes are over, a bell rings and the customer must leave

But if he wants more time, there’s a phone, and he gets to call for more minutes.  At a hefty price of course.  And not a hellula lot more time.

Thailand Korean brothels are prisons

The girls can never leave their building.  Noi never gets to come out of her prison for seven months.   She can never go outside the building for dinner.  Or lunch.   Or breakfast.  The establishment delivers chickens, rice, fruit and vegetables to her building.  And the girls have to cook their own food.

On average Noi boom booms 8-10 customers each day.  Which is between 200 and 300 Koreans per month.   Or 1400-2100 dicks in 7 months.  But she’s getting 200, 000 baht a month.  And when she comes back to Thailand she starts having a house built for her.

But it’s a very tough job.  She never gets to go to sleep for very long.

Does Noi like any of her Korean customers?

She can’t speak Korean.  And her Korean customers cannot speak English.  And she never gets a sense of what her customers are like as human beings.    She can’t even meet  them outside the building.  Or converse with them on the telephone.  In the Thailand Korean brothels it’s just one dick after the other.

A lot of her customers are drunk.  Because there’s a Karioke bar next door.  One of the customers is so drunk that he falls asleep.  And Noi cannot wake him up.  So before the bell rings she puts a lot of goop all over his dick.  And when the bell rings he finally wakes up thinking he’s had one good fuck.

I met Noi at the Red Point Bar on Soi Six.   Three of four years ago.  She was one of the prettiest girls there too.  Then she told me that an old guy from the U.S. was offering her 100000 baht if she left the bar.  And stayed with him.  Later she showed up again on Soi Six.  And had a lot of great times together until she told me she was leaving for Korea.  I would not see her again for 10 months until several days ago.  So stay tuned because I’ve got a lot of great stories that Noi’s related to me.

If you want to read more about Thailand Korean Brothels click here.




Pattaya Go Go bar fines reach 2000 baht.

The culprit for Pattaya go go bar fines zooming to 2000 baht is Lady Love Go Go Bar on L.K.  Metro  while Walking Street go go bar fines are almost as bad.

200 baht Pattaya Go Go bar fines at Lady Love

2000 baht Pattaya go go bar fines are unacceptable to any self respecting expat

Not only does this run to $63.00 just to get a girl out of the bar.  It’s also likely to cost you 2000 more as your tip to the girl.  Or more.  That’s $130.00 and you haven’t even bought a single drink yet.

So I did I find out about this 2000 baht Pattaya bar fines travesty?  It went like this.  A few years ago I used to see a Soi Six girl.  She was the prettiest girl on Soi Six.  And before working Soi Six she had been working at the Walking Street go go’s.  Cost me 800 baht to her and 300 baht to take her upstairs.  I hadn’t see her in several years go I messaged her.  And we confirmed that I’d be seeing her at Lady Love go go at 9 p.m.

The Motorbike parking in front of all the Soi Lempke go go bars was full.  Showing me that there’s a lot of idiots going to those places

I couldn’t park anywhere so I drove my bike to Soi Bukeao and parked my Nmax there.  Then I walked back to the Lady Love go go bar.  The place was packed inside.

So I ordered a drink, and waited for Noi to show up.    Ten minutes passed and then she found me.  And I bought her a drink.

Now get this picture of Noi.  She’s got over 1000 friends on facebook.  And now she’s got herself a breast job.  So I’m already expecting she’s going to go for a pretty hefty penny. I’m figuring she’s wanting 3000 baht just for short time.  On a more positive note, I don’t think she’s going to be lying to me when I start asking questions.   Down on Soi Six she was only too happy to drink with me both before and after I took her upstairs.  So back then she was not all about money, the way so many of these girls are.

Noi tells me about Pattaya Go Go bar fines skyrocketing to 2000 baht

I was very surprised when Noi told me the bar fine at Lady Love was 2000 baht.  But Noi also told me that she was now unavailable to customers.   She told me she had a boyfriend.  And that she was only dancing and hawking drinks for Lady Love.

And then the second girl suddenly appeared.

The woman was no better than average looking.  But she sure had a big mouth on her.  Here I was talking to an old friend of mine.  When suddenly this gal shows up and starts interrupting our conversation.  And she’s got this horrid Issan loud obnoxious voice.

Noi of course drops our conversation.  After all, any Thai woman is more important than any falang.  But I don’t mean to put Noi down for this.  Almost all Thai women we are likely to meet in the bars are like this.

Thankfully the other go go dancer leaves, but a few minutes later she shows up again like cancer.

Once again I have to listen to the horrible voice of this idiot.  Apparently this gal has some kind of gig going on.  A private show or whatever and Noi is doing it with her.   So Noi runs off with the other girl, and I’m left finishing my beer alone.

But don’t feel sorry for me.  Feel sorry for yourself because you will soon be paying  2000 baht Pattaya Go Go bar fines.  Down on Walking Street they now have short time bar fines and long time bar fines that are 1500 baht.  I expect these to reach 2000 baht soon.  But I’m not going to be paying them.

When you start paying  2000 baht Pattaya Go Go bar fines you are getting the worse entertainment experience for your money

Because Pattaya go go bars are high pressuring their girls to extract as many drinks from you as possible in the shortest possible time you start to feel more like a victim than a customer.

Meanwhile your drink tab in the beer bars climbs so much more slowly.  And if you head to Soi Six you are likely to have a leg massage or dick massage while you are discussing the world’s problems drinking with a buddy.

In the go go’s it runs like this

  • Buy me drink
  • Buy me another drink…..(that tequila rose went down in just 15 seconds so now I’m ready for another).
  • Buy sister me a drink (which is almost always a blatant lie)
  • Buy friend me drink (she new lady at bar)
  • Buy mamasan drink
  • Then Mamasan asks you to buy her a drink if one of the girls didn’t ask you first.

The go go bars have turned into a totally high pressure environment.  And you are the sheep surrounded by wolves.

To read more about the escalation of drink and bar fine prices click on  Pattaya coyote dancers taking over Walking Street go go bars




Sensational Pattaya Ladyboy show at Naklua TG Bar

Naklua TG bar is widely known for its lady boys and good music  but tonight we watched an absolutely sensational Pattaya Ladyboy show.

Pattaya Ladyboy show

Did I call this an absolutely sensational Pattaya Ladyboy show?  For my sidekick, such words simply are not enough.

Before she even mounted the stage, my pal exclaimed.

“Look at the ass on that ladyboy.  Most women would die to have a body like hers!”

I shot two videos of the same Pattaya Ladyboy show

Click here to see them

I shot the first one with my smart phone.  Because I did not bring my Panasonic LX10 along.  The bar played the right music to the right girl.  Or is it a boy?  But it was the ladyboy dancing alone for my cell phone.  Two nights later, I bought my Panasonic Lx10 with its Leica 1.4 lens.  This is a very small, very serous, and very fast camera.

Again, the music was just right for video.  Once again, TG bar was playing “Doom Doom”.  I call the song the Boom Boom song.

But this time two ladyboys were dancing to “Doom Doom”.  And thank god, I brought a real camera along.  Don’t get me wrong.  Smart phones are great.  And mine does about 13 million pixels.  But that Leica Panasonic is so much better.  And my Nikon, with its $2000 lens, is just unworldly.

The Ladyboys here at TG bar are pretty low key.  They don’t even touch the customers unless the customer is asking for it.  I’m not.  They are pretty much of a class act, which is what one expects from TG bar.

I’ve been hanging around TG bar for something like 12 years.  There’s two owners.  A husband wife team.  The husband is German, and well, you know how a lot of these Germans are.  They do everything just right.  And Luddy makes such they don’t play any mickey mouse music here.  No da da.  And not much Thai music.

I already know what YouTube is going to do with this Pattaya Ladyboy show video

YouTube will accuse me of stealing music and then you don’t get to see this outstanding Pattaya Ladyboy show video.  But do not worry.  I’ve got all of you covered.  Because I can make it stream right out of my Alpha Productions web site.

So ask you watch this video, I want you to ask yourselves one question.  “Would you do this ladyboy or not?  If you say no, I’m almost dead certain you are lying.  You might also want to read.

Best LadyBoy Bars in Pattaya

Ladies or Ladyboys in the Video?

Pattaya Lady Boys and us at Naklua TG Bar

Pattaya Ladyboy silicon breasts Slide Show

Bang ladyboy or not. That is number one Soi Six Question



Sexy Professional Exotic Wrestling was best female nude wrestling ever

Sexy Professional Exotic Wrestling was SPEW.  For over a year, SPEW was the most entertaining female nude wrestling in the world.

Sexy Professional Exotic Wrestling referee Leah Layne
Leah Layne’s the referee for Death Match 1 pitting Dirty Heather against Killer Kloey. Along with Carmen and Dirty Heather Leah Layne is one of the models in my book “Extreme Guns and Babes for an Exotic World. I also wrote an article for Xtreme Magazine entitled “Twenty-four hours in Leah Layne Land.”

But we could not show it on YouTube because wrestlers were sexy, nude strippers wrestling in hot oil.   And YouTube is not about to allow us to show beautiful female bodies in the raw.  But now you can view Sexy Professional Exotic Wrestling here at Alpha Productions.

How can we claim Sexy Professional Exotic Wrestling was the best female nude wrestling ever?

Carmen a young house dancer at Big Daddy’s Cabaret and Dirty Heather. Carmen is featured with the Browning 50 caliber machine gun in my book, Extreme Babes and Guns for an Exotic World. While Dirty Heather appears in another chapter posing with the Colt Python.

First off, SPEW matches went on for over two years.  Second, we held these nude female wrestling matches in four states.  Third, Big Daddy,  the Godfather of Spew, was much more than just another strip club owner.  He was and still is one of the most entertaining announcers alive.  Fourth, Spew, could pick from three strip clubs.  Big Daddy’s Cabaret in Missouri, the Lumberyard in Des Moines, Iowa, and the Iowa Playhouse in Council Bluffs.  Fifth, Big Daddy, Spew’s mastermind is an ex professional wrestler who used to wrestle on television.

Sixth  is Big Mike, Big Daddy’s SPEW partner.  Big Mike was the general manager of the Lumberyard.  Who put the Lumberyard on the map of outstanding U.S. strip clubs.  Big Mike literally took the Lumberyard out of the cow pasture into one of this nation’s premiere adult clubs.  For example, the Lumberyard ultimately hosted the Miss Nude World Pageant.  Which is one of the most prestigious adult club pageants to ever hit the planet.

Becoming Crowned as Miss Nude World amounts to a ticket to stardom and all the big money that comes with it.

Okay, if you aren’t convinced yet, that Sexy Professional Exotic Wrestling, SPEW, exhibited the most entertaining  female nude wrestling ever, I’m going to let the videos do the talking.

First up is the original SPEW–Sexy Professional Exotic Wrestling video, “Death Match 1”.

You will find the quality of the second video to be much better.  For one thing, I didn’t shoot it.  Because I was too busy shooting digital stills of all the naked ladies with my Nikon D-1x.  Also, the camera, a now outdated Sony movie camera was not up to my Panasonic Lx10 and Nikon D750 I’m using now.  Most important of all, 15 years ago, we were using phone lines to broadcast video.  Which meant we had to drastically reduce file size and quality to deliver internet video content.  But it’s still great video.  It captures Big Daddy’s peerless broadcasting talent.  It dramatizes the intensity of the  female nude wrestling taking place.

Be forewarned.  The original wrestling video streams but not nearly as well as other recent videos I’ve put on Alpha Productions.  But stick with it.  You will be hugely entertained.

This SPEW video also showcases the huge effort made to dramatize these Sexy Professional Wrestling matches

If you watch closely you can see how Dirty Heather cut Krazy Ted’s forehead open with a razor.

As Dirty Heather and Killer Kloey are hurling insults at each other, Big Daddy tells Heather, “In other words Kloey is calling you a piece of shit.” And she’s going to beat your ass.”  An enraged Dirty Heather, swings a heavy championship wrestling belt at Big Daddy.  But she misses.  And hits Krazy Ted instead.  But while Krazy Ted’s going down Big Daddy trips and goes down to the canvas with Krazy Ted.  When Krazy Ted gets up, his forehead is bleeding profusely.  You don’t see this immediately.  It’s only later in the video that Krazy Ted stalks off laughing hideously as  blood pores out of his forehead.

But Dirty Heather never cut Krazy Ted.  It turns out Big Daddy’s the arch villain.   Because Big Daddy taped a razor blade inside his fingers.  Which he used to cut Krazy Ted while both men were down on the canvas.

So it’s no outrageous boast when I call SPEW the most entertaining female nude wrestling ever.

Cutting Krazy Ted was so typical of all the Sexy Professional Exotic Wrestling pageants.  As an ex professional wrestler Big Daddy knew every trick in the book to pull one over on his audience.

Big Daddy with SPEW wrestlers at Nudes-A-Poppin which bills itself as the largest outdoor nude beauty pageant in the World.

Which now bring us to the second SPEW video.  It’s actually a slide show video.  It shows what my Nikon D-1 x camera could do and there’s a lot of nudity in the D-1 X pictures.

We now invite you to visit the Alpha Productions SPEW web pages where you can view a lot more pictures of female nude wrestling along with a lot of background on the female participants and the key people who created the SPEW saga.

The East St Louis Cement Mixer meets Pattaya, Drinking Street

The East St Louis Cement Mixer meets Kwan of Pattaya Drinking Street fame  is my latest You Tube video.  We or at least, I, have found our favorite entertainer in Kwan who works at one of the Drinking Street bars. If Kwan were American I think that today she’d be a super star feature entertainer. She’d certainly be making a lot of money. She has brains, loads of personality.she’s tall, about five foot six or seven and that’s tall for a Thai woman,and brother can she dance and put on a performance.

Then there’s Renee or Delirious Delilah who once worked for Stimmelators in Northern Indiana as a stripper. She got all this started with the East St Louis Cement mixer. I think she must have been around 28 when she finished stripping all together and from that point on she became a great friend of mine. She was a computer guru.

East St Louis Cement Mixer creator Delilah
Here’s Delilah breaking into her girlfriend’s trailer home. The friend was so absent minded that she failed to show up for Delilah who would overhaul her computer for free. That’s when Delilah and I got our heads together to play a few pranks on her girlfriend.
East St Louis Cement Mixer
Here’s Delilah overhauling a friend’s computer. But the friend was too lazy to show up. In revenge Delilah and I located pictures on the Stimmelator’s web site of the absolute ugliest girl in the club and then we identified those pictures with Delilah’s friend. Then we created a profile for her friend. And for her greatest interests we put down “Picking up men to do tricks with”.

But I never knew that when she was stripping.  But  as I got to know her better,  I appreciated her more and more for her intelligence and great sense of humor.  Which was a lot like mine.  Delilah was totally warped.

Delilah creator of the East St Louis Cement Mixer
Delilah was also very beautiful. In this picture she’s posing on the hood of my supercharged Mazda Miata sports car.

So in this you tube video I’ve put several pictures in it of Delilah to honor her. And as for Kwan.  well she reminds me more than any THai woman of the American entertainers I had for good friends. And that says a lot because the American strippers were just simply terrific.

You might also want to read Pattaya bargirls meet East St. Louis Cement Mixer

Why Extreme Guns and Babes might be the best gun book of its kind

Extreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World offers compelling gun articles and superior photography of beautiful women.  No other serious firearms publication does.  And as for the other guns and babes sites you can find on the internet.  They’re all a dime a dozen compared to what you will find in Extreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World.

Extreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World offers a lot of sexy pictures of beautiful women. Yet it’s not pornographic. For example, here Taylor’s covering her breasts with her hands.

You Can buy Extreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World here, at Amazon in three versions,  full color, for around $38.00, black and white paperback for around $14, and in Kindle format.

Let me explain the advantages of each.  First, I wanted to offer Extreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World to all of you at an affordable price.  But just try to find an affordable priced paperback at Amazon?  Look, I love Amazon, but Amazon screws things up about every time.  Chances are you will find a used book there for $80.00 when Amazon should be showcasing my black and white paperback version at $14.00.  Or you will find the full color version at close to forty bucks.  Go for the black and white version of Guns and Babes for an Adult World here.

Unless you are willing to pay the big bucks to see what my professional Nikon D-1 X could really do.  But I only intended to sell only a handful of full color copies at best.

You might want to opt for my Kindle version of Guns and Babes for an Adult World.  If you have a Kindle that is.  With a Kindle Fire or equivalent you will get great pictures in full color at the cheaper than dirt price of around $10.00.

Extreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World is a serious collection of guns articles that can compete with what you will find in magazines geared to real gun lovers.

Such as Guns and Ammo, the Shooting Times, Gun World, American Handgunner etc.  Okay, I’m bragging.  So you are going to think I’m full of bravado just to hawk my own books.  But I will let you be the judge of that.  Just continue to read on beyond my hype, and decide for yourself.   By reading The Roxy’s Bomb Girl and 007’s PPK.  That’s chapter 5 in Extreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World.  And it includes all the original pictures I took of Taylor, a young sexy stripper from the Roxy’s strip  club in the St. Louis Metro East.

Extreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World  is a one of a kind book for all gun lovers.

Even if some of them haven’t the slightest interest in beautiful women.  There’s 26 gun articles in Extreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World.  All of them about the greatest classical firearms of all time.  In less than 200 pages.  Guns such as the Ak-47, the Colt 45 Single action Army, the M-1 Garand, the Thompson submachinegun, Kentucky Rifle, Springfield Civil War rifle, and the 50 caliber Browning heavy machine gun.

As for superior photography of the gals?  I could choose from over 200 strippers and feature entertainers for my models.  And I found them in well known gentlemen’s clubs such as the 80 million dollar Club Sapphires in Las Vegas, Big Als in Peoria, Illinois, and the Lumberyard in Des Moines Iowa which hosted the Miss Nude World Pageant.  Or shooting Miss Nude Texas and getting paid to do it.

So there’s all the so called guns and babes internet web sites.  But Extreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World is a serious book for real gun lovers.  That also has a lot of really sexy ladies.

The Roxy’s Bomb Girl and 007’s Walther PPK

Taylor from PT’s Roxy’s, one of the author’s favorite St. Louis area Clubs, as the Roxy’s Bomb Girl.

With James Bond now well past his prime it might be wise
for him to turn to younger women such as Taylor dancing at
PT’s Roxys in Brooklyn, Illinois, who not only has got what
it takes to waken James up from the many deep fogs ever
since he turned sixty, but is also gravely concerned that his
choice of weaponry is too antiquated for him to measure up
to his better armed 21st century opponents. The guns of our
Roxys Topless Club Bond girl, the subject of this review, are
the Walther PPK, the Kahr P 9 and the Seecamp 32 A.C.P.

In Ian Flemming’s early Bond novels, 007 is woefully under
equipped with a 25-caliber Beretta automatic, a small semi
auto which is useful if it is at all, at only point blank range,
and even at that offers very poor stopping power against
anything larger than a baby rabbit. Q, Flemming’s chief
armorer for the British Secret Service, insists that Bond
replace his pathetic .25 Beretta with the much more powerful
PPK in 7.65 mm. For the rest of his career in Flemming’s
novels, Bond goes about his daily business of shooting the
bad guys with his PPK. The reader and later the audience in
the 007 movies is assured that Bond is adequately armed for
whatever awaits him.

The PPK is a svelte lightweight pocket pistol engineered by the German Walther Arms Company in the 1930’s

, which  started as the model PP, but was shortened to a handier sized version, the PPK. It broke new ground in modern pistol
design because it was double action-that is, a bullet could be
chambered into the breech, after which one could push a
lever that set the trigger in a position so that the gun could
not be fired without undertaking a long hard trigger squeeze.

Double action refers to a single squeeze of the trigger that
both cocks and fires the pistol although later pistol designs
such as the Kahr would replace the external hammer with
internal striker mechanisms. With the PPK one could also
elect to pull the hammer back and fire the piece with an easy
pull in single action mode which one accomplishes by
pulling the trigger, thus tripping the hammer, which has
already been cocked by the shooter, upon the cartridge’s
primer. The gun’s inherent design is very safe since it cannot
possibly go off unless the shooter pulls the trigger.

During and after World War II, the German military chose
the much more powerful 9mm Parabellum for its service
pistols for the most part. The much smaller and lighter PP
and PPK models were sometimes used by officers but were
more commonly used by the German police, particularly by
the Gestapo and other undercover policemen.

A few years ago there were two designs of the PPK on the
commercial market.

There was the original PPK from Germany in calibers .22, 7.65 mm, and .380 auto and the slightly larger American PPK/S.

PPK’s are no longer manufactured in Germany. Recently Smith and Wesson became the sole manufacturer and distributor of the PPK/S
in the U.S. through a licensing agreement with Walther.
Smith and Wesson does not produce the more compact PPK
and its PPK/S is currently available in 380 auto only. Prior to
Smith and Wesson’s involvement, a company called
Interarms imported German made Walthers and
subcontracted their manufacture here in the U.S. through a
company in Alabama. But quality was not up to German
standards and Interarms wound up going belly up. Luckily
mine is a pristine German-made PPK in .380 auto, which has
a lustrous aftermarket black chrome finish, considered to be
more durable than the pistol’s original bluing.

The opinion of “gun experts” on the 380 auto’s man-stopping
ability is divided into two camps. Some consider the .380
auto to be the absolute minimum as a reliable stopper for
self-defense whereas many consider it to be inadequate. But
nearly everyone who has even a modicum of knowledge
about guns deems Bond’s first pistol, his beloved .25 Beretta,
to be worse than a .22 as a stopper. Keep in mind though that
Bond’s PPK was chambered in 7.65 mm or what is also
known as .32 A.C.P., not 380 auto, a bullet that develops
roughly 30 percent more muzzle energy than the .32.

In spite of its deficiencies as a reliable man stopper, the PPK
made quite a name for itself for many years.

Its lines are trim and seductive, which is probably why Flemming chose the PPK for his suave James Bond character. Its sleek lines
combined with relatively low weight made it ideal for
concealed carry. Quality of manufacture ensured a reliable
weapon that its owner could be proud to carry. And if mine
is any indication of most PPK’s, its trigger in single action
mode is smooth and light compared to most double action
semi autos regardless of caliber.

It’s a beautiful gun, but the question is, can James Bond do
better as he tackles the 21st century?

Two likely contenders for Bond’s weapon of choice are the Seecamp .32 and the Kahr P-9.

The Kahr P-9 is virtually the same size as the PPK, yet its
Polymer frame allows it to weigh in at just 17.7 ounces to
the PPK’s 21. Of supreme importance is the P-9’s
chambering in 9 mm which depending on ammo develops
anywhere from 350 to 450 foot-pounds of muzzle energy to
the .380 Walther’s 200. But Bond didn’t use a PPK in .380,
using instead the even less powerful .32 A.C.P., which
develops around 150 foot-pounds at the muzzle.

Which brings up the Seecamp in .32 A.C.P. Seecamp is a
small family run operation that has decided not to crank up
its production to meet public demand for its excellent little
weapon. One can easily wait up to one and a half years for a
Seecamp in .32 caliber. I’ve seen them only once at gun
shows and I immediately snapped one up. I’ve encountered
them much more often in .25 auto, which would leave one as
poorly armed as James Bond at the start of his career, who
should have been called James Bum for carrying the .25
Beretta in the first place. Only 4 and 1/8th inches long and
weighing just 10.5 ounces, the Seecamp is virtually the same

Taylor wearing the ultra concealable 32 Seecamp

size and weight as Bond’s hapless Beretta.

Hailed as the absolute finest small last-ditch close defense pistol ever produced, the principle behind the Seecamp design is that even the most powerful handgun is useless

unless its owner has it available when the moment of truth arrives.
The Seecamp is so small and unobtrusive, one could
carry it to the beach in his swim trunks, hardly noticing it or
being noticed carrying it. It doesn’t have sights, which can
snag in a pocket. It fires in double action mode only, which
means a hard long trigger pull, which makes it very safe to
carry. There are no external safeties to complicate things or
snag in a jacket or pants pocket. And although the .32 A.C.P.
is not a .45 or a .357 magnum it’s still the same cartridge that
Flemming arms Bond with his PPK. The Seecamp is
designed around a single hollow point bullet, the 60 grain
Winchester Silvertip, which the company guarantees as the
only cartridge the Seecamp can fire reliably and this bullet
hits more than twice as hard as any .22 or .25 automatic.

The 32 Seecamp was so highly regarded that there was a 2 year wait for delivery.

Due to its short sighting radius and absence of sights the
Seecamp cannot begin to shoot with either the PPK or the Kahr
P-9. Its strong suit is it’s the utmost in conceivability, a fact dramatized when two police officers once searched my pickup truck for weapons. I had my Seecamp rolled up in my pajamas lying on the floor of the truck. The police officers never found the Seecamp.

The Seecamp is therefore a specialized weapon one has no
excuse for not carrying along when one is uncomfortable
with carrying larger handguns. So how does the 9-mm Kahr
stack up against the PPK?

The PPK at first appears to be a much more finely machined pistol than the much more powerful Kahr P-9. Moreover, its sexy lines are prettier than the blocky

My Kahr has a parkerized slide riding on a polymer
(plastic) frame whereas the Walther’s black chrome finish is
impeccable. Worse, the Kahr fires in double action only
which would seem to favor the Walther with its smooth light
single action option at the range. But the Kahr shoots the
piss out of the PPK. One would think the PPK shoots well
for a pocket pistol until one shoots the Kahr. Although the
Kahr is double action only, Kahr’s double action pistols are
the smoothest around. The Kahr also benefits from excellent
white high contrast sights that line up quickly and efficiently.
In fact, the Kahr is so good, it’s competitive with many big
name full sized pistols, guns considered far easier to shoot
accurately because of their heft and longer sight radius. It’s
the kind of pistol a shooter can shoot well at twenty-five
yards, a distance considered to be outside the range of nearly
all pocket pistols.

Although it’s only been in existence for a few years, Kahr
Arms sales have made it one of the forerunners in modern
pistol design. Its P-9 9 mm pistol is roughly the same size as
a PPK, yet weighs significantly less. Kahr technology has
ensured that it’s stone reliable and if the P-9 isn’t small
enough for an over the hill Bond, who might be tempted to
go back to his pitiful 25 caliber Beretta, Kahr has recently
introduced an even smaller and lighter version of its P-9.
But face it, Bond’s getting old, and rumor has it that he’s
going for even younger and more beautiful women. With
girls as attractive as our Roxys Bomb girl around, it is likely
that we will find Bond going around more scantily clad than
ever. If James Bond ever clamors for that .25 Beretta again,
there’s the Seecamp, at the same size and weight, which is
much safer to carry, and just as powerful as his old PPK.

To read more about Xtreme Guns and Babes for an Adult World click here. 


YouTube bans cockfighting video

YouTube bans cockfighting video so you aren’t going to see this short action packed video there but you can see it now thanks to Alpha Productions.

YouTube bans cockfighting video
Shooting as close as three feet from the fighting cocks I was able to get some outstanding action that most people never get to see. Some do gooders might call my video to be glorification of animal cruelty. But I assure you that it’s not. No more than the boxing I did in college. I reveled in it. It’s a male thing. To have an opponent puncture my ear drum during a street fight when I wasn’t looking. And taking him down. This is the kind of thing a lot of us males love doing. So the roosters are no different from many of us.

Now I’m not about to knock most of these these animal rights activists.  But I will call the cretins who reported me to YouTube complete imbeciles.

The original YouTube video I produced was utterly fantastic.  And for the following reasons.  1.  I got up real close to the fighting cocks, oftentimes just 2 or 3 feet away.  2.  This video is totally authentic.  I took it in a northern Thailand village.  And this is what some of these people do.  They pit their prized roosters against a neighbor’s.  They do this for fun.  And sometimes they gamble on the outcome.

3.  No animal was seriously hurt while I was shooting this video.  A few bruises.  A few missing feathers being strewn about.  And a few minor cuts, but that’s it.  The villagers did not put spurs on the roosters in this video.  And if the roosters started really hurting each other the villagers would separate them.

My headline reads YouTube bans cockfighting video

And the reason is I wanted to call attention to how really stupid many people are.  I also want to drive home the point that the YouTube censors usually side with such idiots.

So YouTube bans cockfighting video of mine?  So what.  I just put it on my Alpha Productions web site and it will stream just as well as it does on YouTube.

In another article I described how the music companies were completely destroying the ambiance around us by forcing night clubs and bars to eliminate all background music that’s been copyrighted.  Unless they pay extortionist fees to these greedy music companies.  In Thailand we end up having to listen to Da Da music.  We must listen to this horrid noise in most of the go go bars we visit.  In the beer bars also.  And I even have to listen to this crap while exercising at the expensive fitness center I pay over $1500 a year to.

Thankfully I bring my own usb with my own music on it.  Which I insert into the elliptical machine and exercise like hell in my own musical paradise of copyrighted music.  Here at Alpha Productions we are now free to publish whatever we want.  Regardless of how goodie two shoes censors feel about it.  This includes the finest streaming video we can produce.

YouTube bans Pattaya bar video

YouTube bans Pattaya Bar video on my Jack Corbett Channel. The good news is, you get to see this sexy bar girl video on Alpha Productions.

YouTube bans Pattaya bar video
They got great music in this Pattaya beer bar complex, and two of the sexiest girls in the area. But for now I’m not telling anyone where it is. Because it’s my own little hideaway

So if you want to see it Click here

Bottom line is you get to watch this streaming Pattaya sexy bar girl video without having to download it.  But I sure tried hard to get it on YouTube first.  I tried putting the video up as unlisted, not public.  So I could leave a link here or wherever I chose. But within minutes I found out that even close friends couldn’t view it when I gave them a link.  Four music companies claimed copyright violations against me.

This picture does not do this girl justice so you just must watch the video as she sticks out her tongue at me, then flips her backside at me in contempt. But….she really does love me.

When YouTube bans Pattaya Bar video on my channel, it’s time to strike back

So I edited the sound tracks in my video to confuse the YouTube computers.  And why not.  I figure I haven’t stolen anyone’s music.  First, I get no income whatsoever from my YouTube videos.  Second, the original music is only the background music in a busy Pattaya bar complex.  So what my Panasonic Lx10 camera picks up is hardly the best sound quality in the world.  It’s just part of what is really happening in the bar complex. Without the background music the entire atmosphere of the bar complex becomes dull and unauthentic.

Okay.  In my video editing program I leave the entire bar complex background audio intact.  Then I inserted a second sound track.  Which is “All Along the Watchtower” by the Grateful Dead.  The I inserted a third sound track.  This one “Along the Watchtower by Jimi Hendrix.  That oughta do the trick, I figured.  The YouTube computers won’t be able to discern who’s playing the music.

YouTube bans Pattaya bar video
YouTube bans Pattaya bar video because of Jimi Hendrix. Never mind that he’s been dead for 47 years.

But once again, YouTube bans Pattaya Bar video

The Jimi Hendrix soundtrack is just two overpowering.  So now it’s the owners to the rights of Jimi Hendrix All Along the Watchtower claiming I’ve stolen their music.  Greedy bastards!   I mean what the hell.  Jimi Hendrix has been dead for 47 years now.  But this time there’s no question of what YouTube has done with my video.  In my Youtube creator account I find out that this Naklua bar video has been blocked worldwide.  There’s a further notation that it’s blocked in all countries.

But Hostgator’s hosting my Alpha Productions web site.  And Hostgator is as good as it gets.  And my hosting package is more expensive and complete than Hostator’s bargain basement packages.  Can I put this video on my web site?  Sure I can.  But making it stream is a different proposition.

But when YouTube bans Pattaya Bar video, it’s not really YouTube’s fault.  YouTube knows it can be sued for millions of dollars if it publishes copyrighted music.

So what’s this world coming to when YouTube and all these bars worldwide have to play Da Da music to avoid being sued by these all powerful music companies?

We all end up walking around or drinking in bars having to listen to that infernal noise that I call Da Da Music.  I hate these greedy music companies for that.

So I get the correct code from  Hostgator  that will make my video stream from my web site.  And it works.  Except it will work only with Windows Media Player, Quicktime and  Real Player.  I get the job done and then my pal, PlOne, tells me that his smart phone will not stream my video.  He must download it.   Which is too bad, because most of the world is now using tiny smart phones which do not begin to do my videos justice.  But oh well.  Not everyone watches you tube videos and Prime Video on 55 inch televisions the way I do.  Or uses an eight speaker surround sound system to play audio.

Luckily for me, and most of you with your smart phones my pal, PlONe is a genius with computers.  He’s a high powered computer programmer with a PHD in Computer Science.  He sends me the code that will allow me to stream MP4 files from my Alpha Productions Web Site.  All I have to do is to change this code around a bit, and Voila.  My video now streams out of Alpha Productions, and it will work on computers and smart phones.

So what video will I put up next that’s too hot for You Tube to handle?  Hey…I got a great cockfighting video that I took in Northern Thailand  that all those goodie two shoes animal rights activists complained to YouTube about.  Which promptly banned my cock fighting video also. But I’m innocent on this one too.  I didn’t hurt those chickens.  As the Thais say and did say to those chickens….”Up to you”.

One good sex tourist is worth 100 Chinese tourists

One good sex tourist is worth 100 Chinese tourists for Thailand’s economy.  Take Big Bill for instance.

What one good sex tourist does for Thailand’s economy

Big Bill pays his Thai girlfriend 30000 baht  every month.  Which is slightly less than $1000 a month.  But now that Big Bill’s gone back to America for several months, she gets to stay in his condo.  The condo is 1400 square feet, has two bedrooms and two bathrooms.  His girlfriend, Noi, rented a 6000 baht room each month.  Which she shared with 2 other bar girls.

Big Bill has also bought a car.  And a Yamaha Nmax motorbike as well.  But now that he’s in America, Noi gets to use it everyday to transport herself back and forth to work.  Noi no longer has to work in the bar however.  And that’s because Big Bill is giving her almost $1000 a month.  She’s got a restaurant job now, which pays her 10,000 baht a month, which is enough to pay for all her expenses.   This leaves her with up to 30000 baht a month that she can use to support her family.  Which includes her mother and father, two sisters in their early teens, and her ten year old brother.  Not to mention her two daughters.

But Big Bill is much more than just one good sex tourist

He’s a superstar when it comes to fuel injecting Thailand’s economy.  Big Bill hired a Thai driver to drive him around in his car.  But since Big Bill’s large condo has two bedrooms, he allows his driver to stay in his spare bedroom.  So the Thai driver gets to stay in a beautiful condo for free.  While collecting a 15000 baht a month salary.

Big Bill also employs a Thai woman to clean his condo.  She comes nearly everyday.  And cleans for an hour or so.  Then she goes back to her regular job.  He pays her 5000 baht a month.

So how many Thais is this one good sex tourist supporting?

Starting with his Thai girlfriend, he’s supporting her, her mother and father, her two children,  one brother and two sisters.  Then he’s supporting his Thai driver and his young daughter.  And God knows how many extended family members the driver is helping out.  There’s the cleaning gal,  her two children, and her mother and father.    So he’s supporting at least 14 Thais.  But—keep in mind the ripple effect this all has on the Thai economy.  All these Thais he’s supporting are supporting other Thais.  Thais who own shops in the local markets.  The beautician who does his girlfriend’s hair.   Clothing vendors all of these Thais buy from.

Big Bill also spends a lot of money in Pattaya’s bars

One good sex tourist helps the go go girls
Big Bill’s considered as one good sex tourist in most of the go go bars he frequents.  This girl worked at Peppermint Go Go

Especially the go go bars.   He buys a lot of ladies drinks.  And each time he buys a go go dancer a drink. she’s getting a 50 baht commission from the bar she’s working for.  Oftentimes, Big Bill will take a wad of twenty baht bills and throw them at the go go girls.  Whether most of us consider Big Bill to be a fool is not the issue.  My point is he’s one good sex tourist.

Yeah, I know.   A lot of people think Big Bill’s a real fool.  But he’s got a huge heart.  And he knows that when he dies he can’t take it all with him.  But my whole point is this.  Who’s worth more to Thailand’s economy?  One good sex tourist like Big Bill?  Or 100 Chinese tourists?

So what are 100 Chinese tourists doing for the Thai economy?

First off most Chinese tourists go everywhere in large tour buses.  And these large tour buses are too much for most city streets in Thailand.  Such as Bangkok’s or Pattaya’s.   So they clog up the streets in the cities and slow traffic down to a snail’s pace.  These tour buses also kill and injure a lot of people because of the incompetence of so many of their drivers.

There’s nowhere to park all those large tour buses.  So their drivers park them all along the cities streets.

Road construction crews built all these traffic lanes to handle the needs of normal drivers.   And certainly not for bus parking lots.

Later on the passage way for cars will be severely constricted. The buses will be parked alongside both lanes.

What we have here it a wholesale constriction of entire cities roads.  Thanks to the huge proliferation of Chinese tourists.  And this proliferation is rapidly spinning out of control.

In fact, I might go so far as to say that the police and other authorities are selling entire traffic lanes so that the Chinese tour companies have a place to park their buses.

One good sex tourist worth more than Chinese tourists
Chinese tour bus parking lot. Notice how dangerous this situation is. Not to mention that the traffic is slowed down to a crawl. I was nearly hit by a car while turning left into the left traffic lane due to the buses taking up the entire lane of traffic.  Money is number one here.  Even at the expense of public safety.

But let’s get back to what 100 Chinese tourists really mean to the Thai economy.

Approximately 45 Chinese tourists  will fill up a single tour bus.  So it takes two large tour buses to hold 90 Chinese tourists.  Now just imagine how much traffic just two tour buses can screw up?  Or how many meters of a single street it takes to park just two tour buses?

How the Chinese Tour Bus System works

The average Chinese tourist doesn’t have a lot of money to spend.  So here’s that happens.  The typical Chinese tour company offers cut rate airfares to the droves of Chinese tourists now flocking to Thailand.  So let me float out an arbitrary number out there.  “How does $150 airfare sound to you, from Shanghai to Bangkok and Pattaya?  Sounds good doesn’t it?  Let’s now tack on another $75.00 for five nights in a hotel and total transportation costs by tour bus.  That’s a total of just $225.00.

But there’s a catch.  And that is you must stay with your tour bus group.  Well, even if you don’t, without your tour leader you will be lost in a city such as Pattaya or Bangkok.  You can’t speak a word of Thai and chances are your English skills are absolutely worthless.

So the tour bus takes you everywhere.  And your fearless leader, your tour leader makes sure that you spend all your money in just the right places.

These are the places that will give your fearless leader a commission on every shirt, every pair of pants, every vase, every lunch or dinner that you now have to pay for out of your own pocket.

One good sex tourist worth 100 Chinese tourists
An entire traffic lane sold to Chinese tourists who are gathering around a gerry-rigged noodle stand.  I don’t want to hear any more b.s. about improving the public transportation system here.  Perhaps One good sex tourist is worth 1000 of these Chinese tourists?  The key is to require all tour buses to immediately discharge all tourists at whatever hotel they are staying in.  And then have the buses  leave town.  The Chinese tourists will then have to use baht buses, their own two legs, private taxis etc to get around just like all the other tourists do.  This will also help these Chinese tourists because it frees them from their manipulative tour leaders.

So the little makeshift noodle shops are now springing up everywhere.  These are the places your fearless leader will be taking you.

As for me, or my German, or even my Russian friends.  None of us would ever be caught dead eating in these low life restaurants with their cardboard walls and cheap tin corrugated roofs.

One good sex tourist worth more than 100 Chinese tourists
This building is a real fleabag operation. No self respecting Thai would ever eat here.

As for well established businesses here in Pattaya such as Pattaya to U (for computer repair) or Best Camera Shop at  Do you think these places will be getting any Chinese dollars?  Never.  And neither is the Naklua Pen Bar whose clientele is mostly German, American and English.  Or a lot of good restaurants such as Heidelburg, Tavern, Robin Hood, Queen Victoria.

And speaking of Pen Bar, I have a little story on this one.

Now I’ve known Pen for 12 years now.  She’s Thai and she really knows how to run a bar.

In comes a single solitary Chinese guy.  Pen asks him if he wants a beer.  The Chinese replies no.  He must wait for his fearless tour guide leader to arrive with the rest of the tour group.  Meanwhile a group of Germans are sitting at the bar.  Who are buying their Heinekens for 90 baht a bottle.

Finally the fearless  leader of the tour group arrives.

“How much are you selling your beer for?” the Chinese fearless leader asks Pen.

“90 baht” Pen replies.

“I’ll bring my entire tour group in if you sell everyone bottled beer for 145 baht,” the fearless leader offers.  “You and I can split the 55 baht so we each get 27 baht,” he adds.

The problem is Pen is an honest Thai lady and she wants no part of this arrangement.  The tour group’s fearless leader immediately departs taking his Chinese horde with him.

So what happens to all those commissions the Chinese tour group leaders are getting?

Most of it’s going to their big bosses over in China.  And this is how they are able to offer such cut rate  air fares and hotel prices to all these Chinese armies of tourists who are inundating Bangkok and Pattaya.

Rich people here in Thailand are getting even richer because of all this monkey business.  While the common everyday Thai of little to modest means is getting screwed.  He gets to put up with all the horrible traffic these tour buses are causing.  He gets to see all these Chinese tourists dirty up his beaches, and his city’s parks, while they piss all over his sidewalks.

Think I’m joking?

I remember sitting at the Pen Bar one night when a single Chinese came into the small bar complex’s parking lot.

There’s a public restroom he could have used for just 5 baht.  But he either didn’t know about it or simply didn’t care.  So right at the far end of the parking lot he unzipped his pants and urinated right on the pavement.  This was just thirty meters from all of us.  In full view of the entire bar.  I couldn’t restrain myself.  And screamed  out to him, “Asshole.  You are a fucking idiot.”  Thais lose respect for someone who loses his temper.  But not this time.  The entire bar applauded when I called  the Chinese out for being a dirty pig.

I consider the Khao Kheow Zoo to be Pattaya’s best kept secret. It’s just 60 kilometers from Pattaya. And it’s so large you really need a golf kart to get around this zoo. Most Pattaya Hotels, tourist and agencies don’t even advertise it. Don’t get me wrong, there’s a lot of great parks and zoos here. But all that advertising goes to the Crocodile Farm, The Elephant Village and the Tiger Zoo which is also in Siracha. But trust me, this zoo in the absolute finest of them all by a long shot. In our little group we have two of our Thai girlfriends. And my two pals, one from Norway and the other from England. The rest of the Caucasians in this magnificent setting are Russians.

I much prefer the Russian tourists now.  They go about their business as individuals, couples or small groups.   I think most Americans perceive Russians as barbarians or unthinking nitwits.  But I’ll tell you what.  Go to Koh Larn Island.  Or the the Siracha Khao Kheow Zoo..  You see white people, and I’ll just about guarantee that they are Russian.  The rest of us?  We Americans, Englishmen, Germans, Norwegians, etc?  You will find us in the bars.  With not a lot going on upstairs.  But I’m finding out that most of these Russians are go getters.  And they sure aren’t using the tour buses.  Like those lackeys following their Chinese tour leaders around.

But One good sex tourist, cultured or not, is worth more than 100 Chinese tourists.




Bar girl excuses from Pattaya go go girls that will make you laugh

Out of  all the Hilarious bar girl excuses from Pattaya Go Go girls to avoid long time sex this one had me rolling on the floor with laughter.   Even though Pattaya go go girls are especially notorious for cheating their customers out of what they have paid for, this incident still churns my stomach.    The bar, the mamasan and the go go girl all conspired to cheat my friend.   Who paid 4300 baht for long time but ended up getting the shaft.

When a man pays for long time, this means he’s paying for an all nighter for the bar girl he’s bar fining.  Not for 3 hours of monkey business.

But when he pays for short time sex, he’s typically paying for a half an hour to 3 hours with the bar girl he’s bar fining. I am now going to make a few generalizations to distinguish between beer bar girls and Pattaya go go girls.  In general when a man buys a beer bar girl out of the bar,  she’s hoping to spend the entire night with him.  One reason for this is the bar girl hopes he will like her enough to hire her out for a week, a month, a year, or a lifetime.  The typical beer bar girl hopes to provide security for her family for the long haul.  So if she can get a steady income of 15000 to 30000 baht every month from a falang, she’s achieving her goal.  Because now she is able to send 5000 to 20000 baht a month to her Mama and Papa.  And oftentimes her brothers, the Thai boyfriend she’s hiding away in the village, etc.

What this amounts to is long term job income for family members who are unable or unwilling to work

But Walking Street go go girls operate in a totally different manner.  First off, most of their customers are tourists.  And tourists are idiots who don’t know any better.   But a lot of expats who live full time in Pattaya visit the beer bars.  Or men who keep making multiple visits to Pattaya, who have been around and seen a lot.  This is why so many beer bar girls view so many customers as long term prospects.  And go go girls view customers as short term visitors who they are likely to never see again.

Again, I’m generalizing.  But go go girls act as birds of prey.  Behaving as predators zooming down on their hapless victims. Their goal is to extract as much money in the shortest amount of time from their victims.  So when they go long time with a customer, they want to spend as little time with him as possible.  And the last thing she wants to do is to spend the entire night with him.

Keep in mind that money is number one.

bar girl excuses for Money Number One
If you are going to have anything to do with Thai women, especially bar girls you need this book. It’s the bible. In Money Number One Neil Hutchison tells it like it is. Which has royally upset many Thais who complained so much about Neil’s cartoons that the main book stores here such as Asia books have taken it off their shelves.  But if you are a tourist you already know everything, don’t you?  Look at it this way.  See the funny old fart in the cartoon.  This is you.

So the typical go go girl doesn’t care about how badly she behaves.  After all, tourists are here today and gone tomorrow.   Whereas your typical beer bar girl views her customers as long term prospects who can provide life long security for her family.  Money is still number one.  It’s just that the beer bar girl is looking long term.  And the go go girl is looking only for the short term.  Just keep in mind that bar girl excuses is in their dna wherever you find them.

Let’s now laugh at all the bar girl excuses go go girls make to avoid having to spend the entire night with their victims

One of their favorite excuses is “I have to go home early.  I must go home to take care of my baby.”

 This is total horseshit.
Out of all the bar girls I’ve met,  only one of them had her child staying with her in Pattaya.  And she was from Laos.  Which meant that she had no family living in Thailand that she could lean on.  Almost all Thai bar girls have their momma and papa or sister taking care of their babies up in the village.  Chances are Momma and Papa are too frail to work.  Or there’s hardly any employment for them in the village.  So they might as well take care of the children.  Otherwise they are as useless as tits on a boar when it comes to the grand scale of bar girl-Thai family economies.
But the bar girl is still young and vigorous and she’s got that gilded pussy that we all want.   Chances are she’s renting a room for 5000 to 10000 baht a month and she’s got one or two roommates to share the expense with.

Here’s another classic example  of  bar girl excuses that the average tourist is totally naive about

The customer’s in the room with the girl he’s just bar fined.  After having sex a single time, the bar girl gets a phone call from one of her accomplices.
She utters:  “Oh tilak.  My friend me.  Lose key.  I have.  My friend me cannot get in room.  I must give now.  So sorry tilak.  I want stay with you so much.”
You are going to have to pay high drink prices here. But you won’t be paying any bar fines. Do expect to hear the usual bar girl excuses here. It’s the same everywhere. After all, it’s in their DNA
The bar girl typically does this at 2 or 3 in the morning.  Then she pockets the money you just gave her so that she can visit a Thai karioke bar to meet with her Thai boyfriend.  Or even worse, so that she can take your money to pay a very attractive Thai man to have sex with her.  Or–so that she can go to Club Insomnia, Lucifers Bamboo Bar or other disco so that she can now pick up another customer.  This time as a free lancer.
Personally I think I’d enjoy going here to meet the women. The problem is, one has to be a vampire because discos such as Insomnia are for night owls. They open late and stay open late. One avoids the bar fines. Many go go dancers come here for one last trick after you pay high dollar for their services. I’d enjoy the hunt. I just can’t stay out late and get up too early in the morning to play Count Dracula.

 But this latest line of bull pales compared to the line of horse shit a Walking Street go go girl fed one of my friends last night.

My pal’s first mistake is, he negotiates with the Mamasan.  This is at Super Girls Go Go Bar.  Now my first rule is to never ever negotiate with the mamasan.   First off she’s going to be getting a commission from the go go girl you are bar fining.  So it’s in mamasan’s best interest to set your price as high as possible.
There’s a short time room down the street that charges 350 baht for 2 hours.   Then there’s the 600 baht bar fine he has to pay Super Girls.  But my friend wants the intimacy of his hotel room.  He wants the girlfriend experience.  And unknown to me he wants long time instead of short time.  This means an all-niter. But he makes a mistake and this is to pay the mamasan.
The way it should work is the customer pays the bar fine to the go go bar while he negotiates a price that is acceptable to both the girl and himself.

If I ever have a mamasan try to interfere between me and the girl I’m bar fining, I tell her.  “Look.  I”m fucking her.  Not you.”

So the three of us head down to Pattaya Tai where we board a baht taxi to Naklua.  I drive my motorcycle that I’ve parked in the hotel’s parking lot back to my condo.  While my friend and his short time girl go up to his room at Lek Villa Hotel.
My friend’s room is on the 4th floor and he has his windows and door open to the balcony to let the fresh ocean breeze in. He has sex with the go-go girl and then he goes to sleep. One or two hours later the girl wakes him up. She has shut the door to the balcony and closed the window, but she hasn’t turned the air conditioner on.

She cries out, “Mosquitoes, Mosquitoes too much.” Then she shows him a pimple on her ass, and tells him, “I cannot sleep because of the mosquitoes so I must go home (to my Thai boyfriend or disco such as Lucifers, Tony’s, Insomnia, Marine, etc to pick up still another paying customer).

This really pisses off my friend who by now cannot wait to get rid of the bitch so he tells her,
“I’ve had enough of your pathetic bar girl excuses.  Go, get out of here. Next time I don’t go to your go-go bar. I go to Beach Road for good lady for just 500 baht.”
I recall his saying he paid her 3500 baht for the long time plus the 600 baht bar fine plus another 300 baht to the mamasan for setting up such a great deal for him.
But trust me, his experience is all too typical for Walking Street Go-Go girls.
I remember a friend of mine who paid 2000 baht to a Living Dolls go go girl expecting to have her spend all night with him, but she kept telling him, “ such typical bar girl excuses as  “I cannot sleep. You snore too much. I must go home” (to Thai husband).
There are three lessons to be learned here. Number one–Do not go to go-go bars, number 2. If you must–never have the mamasan or waitress negotiate the price for you. She will try to get the highest dollar for the girl at your expense, and 3. Never pay for sex in advance. Negotiate your price and then pay the girl when she leaves you or you have finished doing what the two of you agreed on. If she falls asleep on you without performing don’t pay her.  And if a girl cheats you out of a long time by going short time, pay her only for the short time.  Last, but not least, be ready for the usual  bar girl excuses.  Trust me, they are coming your way.
Above all, do not believe all the bar girl excuses.  And trust in one thing.  “You can always tell when a bar girl is lying when her lips are moving.
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Thoughts from the Expats Corner