Walking Street Doll House vs Annabelle Go Go Bars Golden Pussy

Here’s the good, bad, and ugly of Doll House vs Annabelle Go Go Bars Golden Pussy shakedown.

The G spot is the Golden Pussy

Background

Three of Pattaya Walking Street’s Premier go go bars have completed a transformation over the past two weeks. The same company has owned the Doll House Pattaya, G-Spot,  Electric Blue, and  Doll House Bangkok . Until now. Then the G-Spot which had been our favorite split from its sister clubs to become Annabelles with a new management team. During the same month the venerable Windmill Club has been closed by the police for a month.

Personally I don’t care for the Windmill Club. I started calling it a Dirty Old Man’s Paradise ever since I saw an old fart sticking his hands into every orifice of one of the dancers there. Perhaps more than any single go go bar on Walking Street the Windmill has earned the Golden Ring Award for relentless hands on debauchery and dildo pussy thrusting.

This time the Windmill committed the unpardonable sin of allowing one of its customers to boom boom one of its girls in an upstairs short time room.  In came the police to catch the man with his pants down and his dick hanging out.

Which brings us to last night

go go girl who's not showing her Golden Pussy

Billy Bob and I started out at the Doll House. Several of the prettiest girls at the G-spot quit as soon as the new owners took over and renamed the place Annabelles Go Go.  I found them at Doll House last night and I have to say that the Doll House had the purdiest group of girls I’ve seen in a go go bar for a coons age.  Several of the sexiest girls wasted no time  and  joined Billy Bob and me in the peanut gallery.

I bought a few tequilas for two of the girls who hung with me until Billy Bob and I headed out to Annabelles. I promised to return to “my two girls” after half an hour or so.

Annabelles was completely packed with customers.

We couldn’t find a table but the mamasan, who oftentimes hung around with us, soon found seating arrangements for us.

There were over thirty go go dancers up on that stage.  Billy Bob told me most of the girls were from the Windmill Club who had suddenly found themselves out of work. And with them came many Windmill customers. I suddenly had to face  the thing I had hated the most about the Windmill Club.  It had far too many customers. The place was always uncomfortably crowded.  And there were never nearly enough girls to go around.

The Windmill was well known for having some of the cheapest beer on Walking Street.  But the fact is, cheap drink prices always brought in the riff raff.  And believe me, Annabelles was super saturated tonight with cheap charlies.  This was definitely not my kind of crowd.  As for the girls, most were nothing to write home about. The club had also changed its music to that electro crap I call Da Da music.

Back at the Doll House

they had been playing a lot of really good music for a change. I had just one bottle of San Miguel Light at Annabelles which set me back a whopping 170 baht. This was just plain inexcusable. Hordes of customers had come in.  The place was crowded with imbeciles who simply didn’t know any better. I left for the greener pastures of the Doll House where I rejoined the two sexy women who had sat with me earlier.

I have known one of the two girls for nearly two years now.  She has a very pretty face and a very fine ass.  She knows it too.  And she uses every opportunity to stick that fine ass of hers in my face. The thing I like about her best is for a Thai bar girl she’s a straight up kind of gal who calls a spade a spade. The other girl, who I’ve started calling the little sister, has great breasts, and a nice shape. I’ve only had her sitting with me only once before. I found her to be quite cuddly and kissable.

Both girls wanted me to bar fine them.

I would have bar fined the “older sister”, but when the mamasan told me the bar fine was now 1100 baht, I told the mamasan and both girls that there was no way I would ever pay a thousand baht bar fine.

I found out the reason for the bar fine going up from 900 to 1100 baht

was the girls were now dancing totally nude. Which comes down to this. Before Christmas bar fines for Electric Blue, the Doll House and the G spot had been 800 baht.  But over the Christmas holidays the clubs upped their bar fines to 900 baht, and never lowered them once the Christmas gouging season had ended. Now they had gone up to 1100 baht due to most of the Doll House girls now dancing totally nude.  I was plain disgusted, and so were many of the girls who were not getting bar fined much.

What’s good about Go Go Bars Golden Pussy?

For one thing you get to see exactly what you are getting. And let’s face it, although a lot of guys like big tits, it’s the pussy you are fucking or eatin.  And silicon tits are the worse kind of tits. Most of them are shapeless. They are hard and they taste terrible. Now take a girl with small tits. A girl with small tits can really feel them being titillated. When she gets excited her tits expand in your mouth. You can feel her nipples harden with your tongue. But best of all, especially with Thai women, girls with small tits tend to be slimmer and more active. But it’s the golden pussy that sends me to the stratosphere.

Some girls got the golden pussy. Others don’t. And when you watch the go go dancers up on stage you can immediately tell who’s got the soft flabby pussies and who’s got the tight little teen age girl vaginas.

But I already know that the “older sister” has got a golden pussy. I went down there too many times before.  I have to admit that she looks great up on stage showing off that Golden Pussy of hers.  But I haven’t been down on the little sister, at least not just yet. Her box looks promising enough. I often like calling a woman’s vagina her box because pussy sounds so crass.

Mikos not here tonight. And neither is Frog Face.

Thank God. Maybe they have both started working back at Annabelles where they belong.

Both girls are disappointed that I’m not bar fining them. But I’m sharing with them certain ideas of mine that I think both of the girls will like. They’ve been talking animatedly together about what I’m suggestin to them.  Their animated voices and body language tell me that Big Sister wants to share me with Little Sister and that she’s tellin the younger girl what a great guy I am.

I finally check bin. My bottle of beer comes out to 150 baht which is 20 baht less than they are charging down at Annabelle’s.

It’s time to wrap this review up. Here’s the good, bad and the ugly about both clubs.

The Doll House

The good

• Has a wonderful manager in Lenny who used to manage at all three clubs, Electric Blue, the Doll House, and G spot.
• They stopped playing that horrible da da electro crap that so many clubs are passing off as music and are now playing real music with a great beat.
• Beers are cheaper at 150 baht.
• The girls are some of the sexiest on Walking Street
• Showing off golden pussy so that the discriminating male of exquisite tastes can make an informed decision on what he’s buying.
• Happy hour prices for certain drinks between 8:30 pm at 10. For example gin and tonics are just 75 baht each.

The Bad

• Using Golden Pussy full nudity as an excuse for raising the bar fine from 900 baht to 1100 baht.

The Ugly
• Displaying ugly genitalia

Annabelles

The Good

• One of the mamasans is a lot of fun and she’s actually quite cuddly.
• Some of the old staff members who have always treated us well are still here.
• Still hands on. Especially for all those dirty old man types who were frequenting the Windmill.
• Happy hour prices for certain drinks between 8:30 pm at 10. For example gin and tonics are just 75 baht each.

The Bad

• The girls for the most part are only so so. Just like the Windmill bar girls used to be
• The place is far too crowded
• Bar fines are now 1000 baht for short time sex and 1500 baht for long time
• Management is now pressuring the girls to spend more time up on the stage and not enough time one on one with their customers.

The Ugly

• Beers are now 170 baht per bottle. This is downright inexcusable.

Best search engine for using Pattaya Expats Forum

You will find the Best search engine for the Pattaya Expats forum at its Alpha Productions web site.

 

Best search engine
Best search engine for this blog is the Alpha Productions web site.

The benefits for your going to alphapro.com are huge.

  • There’s hundreds of pages of content at alphapro.com including all content in this blog.  That’s because this blog is within the alphapro.com domain.
  • I’ve been working on the alphapro.com web site for  over 20 years.  Much of its content is adult related.
  • I used to get paid by Xtreme Magazine and other adult magazines but when I could not find a viable adult magazine covering the Midwest Clubs I decided to start my own.  I created The Looking Glass Magazine  as part of my alphapro.com web site.  The search box for this forum will not work for all that Looking Glass Magazine content.
  • After buying a condo in Thailand and moving here full time the content of the Looking Glass took on an Asian Thailand focus as I no longer was visiting the American strip clubs.
  • Most of the adult and Thailand content in the Looking Glass is not part of this blog.  The last articles in the Looking Glass were in December 2013.  From that date on this blog replaced the Looking Glass Magazine.

Let me give you several examples of why this is the Best search engine for the Pattaya Expats Forum

  1.  Go to alphapro.com.  Using the Google custom search box type in Thai women.  This search engine privatizes  Alpha Productions content over all other content.  Notice how much of this content takes you to this blog and also to the Looking Glass Magazine articles I did before I even started this blog.

2.  Go to alphapro.com.  Once again use the Google custom search box and type in nude wrestling.  Start clicking on the alphapro.com search engine results.  Choose Spew Wrestling at the Iowa Playhouse 

Okay.  I’m going to put one of the pictures right here for a sneak preview.

 

You won’t find these pictures in this  Pattaya Expats Forum.  Or anywhere else either.  I might be prejudiced but I think the Spew Wrestling venture that Big Daddy and Big Mike created were the finest nude wrestling spectacles of all time.

3.  Go to alphapro.com again and type into the search box Big Daddy.  Not only was Big Daddy the founder of Spew wrestling.  He’s a lifelong friend of mine and only a couple of weeks ago we were sitting together at ringside at the Pattaya Max Muay Thai stadium as I was shooting video of the fights there.  Big Daddy is truly significant to me, not just because he’s a very dear fiend of mine but also because he brought me to Thailand.    Notice among many of the Big Daddy results the Double Knockout article and you tube video that appears in this blog

4.  Once again go to alphapro.com and type into the search box Krabi.   In my opinion the Krabi area has the most beautiful beaches in Thailand and the world.  You will find a lot of my Krabi articles and pictures this way.

Alpha Productions is still here after 20 years

Nearly all the adult sites and strip clubs in the old days are gone.  Those were great days back then.  And Alpha Productions is no longer doing the adult stuff now that I’ve moved to Thailand.  But I’m still using professional cameras to create the best photography and video I can.  Most of the  strippers and feature entertainers I worked with in the old days are gone too.  Most are doing other things with their lives.  Many have died.  The strip club owners and top managers who were my friends have turned to other pursuits.  For example, Frank, who was the GM of the Platinum Club and  owner of Club 64 is now selling furniture (Frank will be successful whatever he does).  Big Daddy is focusing on mcing or doing voice overs for Professional Wresting.

Corey from Club 64
Yes. I shot a lot of the American girls nude. But I always tried to do my artistic best. The girl in the picture worked at Club 64. Frank who had been the absolute best manager I ever knew at Platinum Club and his wife had me shoot more than half a dozen of their girls. Frank’s wife (who had been assistant manager at Platinum) would work on a girl’s hair with a couple of the other girls, her outfit, makeup, etc for up to 2 hours in order to present the girl at her best. Getting to work with Frank and Sherry made me a much better photographer while enabling me to become much more adept in photo editing. This husband wife team were the most professional strip club managers I’ve ever encountered. I owe a lot to them.

I never shot porn by the way.

My goal has always been to be an artist.  I’ve always tried to present the adult entertainers I knew as beautiful women inside and out.

Aspen Reign Magician in Pursuit of Excellence

Aspen Reign superstar feature entertainer
I think my strength as a photographer (if I have any) is as an action photographer. When Aspen Reign took center stage to perform her shows she was an absolute dynamo. I would often shoot up to 1500 pictures in a single night at the feature entertainer showcases I covered. All the other feature entertainers would stop whatever they were doing to watch Aspen when it came time for her to perform her show. She was the maestro of all maestros

Aspen was absolutely wonderful.

One morning while I was staying at a hotel in Peoria, Illinois shooting a Pure Talent Agency Showcase, I went into Big Als early to have a cup of coffee.  A new girl looked a lot like Aspen.  During the evening performances this new entertainer kept trying to emulate Aspen’s style.  Even her hair style.  So here I am drinking my cup of coffee at Big Al’s and there’s a woman sitting at the bar without much makeup on.  I think it’s the new girl.  After we exchange a few remarks, the girl says to me:

“It’s me.  Aspen.”

We talk a bit more, and then Aspen tells me:

“I have been watching you when you are shooting all the other feature entertainers. ”

“Why are you watching me?” I reply.

“Because I want to see which entertainers interest you the most.  So I watch to see which feature entertainers you shoot the most of.”

That made my day.  Here was the biggest superstar of them all taking a professional interest in my photography.

Aspen Reign was simply incredible.  She truly deserved my calling her Magician in Pursuit of Excellence.

Best search engine to use for this blog
Front cover of Xtreme Magazine showcasing my Aspen Reign article, Aspen Reign Magician in Pursuit of Excellence

I wrote a lot of magazine articles about them.

As far as shooting their naked bodies?  Yes.  I did a lot of that.  Hopefully I have captured the beauty of the female form in my endeavors.  And I got paid for doing it.  Here in Thailand I never shoot nude pictures of Thai women.  In  the U.S. my photography and magazine articles helped the adult entertainers in their careers by increasing their marketability and earnings.

The number one reason why the  Best search engine is the google custom search engine on the main Alpha Productions web site

This is the Best search engine to use because it fuses all of the content in the Looking Glass online magazine with this blog and all that great adult content I used to do back in the United States.

Last week’s Naklua bar girl suicide caused by broken heart

Last week’s Naklua bar girl suicide hit me hard.   I used to drink with her, and it took so long for her to die.

At a party after Naklua bar girl suicide
Happier times here at our favorite bar.

Last night the Naklua bar owner asked for donations to burn the girl’s body.  Her family has no money.  The cremation will cost 30,000 baht which is just under $1000 U.S.   And then the bar owner told me the full story which gave me all the gory details, except for one thing.  Why did this pretty girl kill herself?

It was more than a Naklua bar girl suicide.  I knew the girl pretty well

The girl was pretty and she was nice.  The bar owner and I  agreed on both counts.  I used to buy her drinks, but she had always been polite enough to back off, if another girl  got to me first.  I know this sounds pretty bad when I’m writing “if another girl got to me first”.  The bar owner has trained all her bar girls very well.  It is very rare that one of her bar girls asks me for a drink.  What normally happens is when I enter the bar alone, one of the girls will sit next to me after bringing me a drink.  That’s when I really want to buy a bar girl a drink.  When she doesn’t ask me for anything.

I must truthfully say that if I were to ever bar fine a girl here she would have been the one I would have chosen first.  She was the most attractive of all the girls, and she used to laugh at all my jokes. Even if she never understood them.

She used to tell me, “I understand not too much English.  Only a little bit.”  But being my own greatest fan, I would often laugh at the things I used to say here.   So when I’d start to laugh at all the off the wall things I used to say, she’d start to laugh with me.  Which would get me laughing even more.  Our laughter would soon become so contagious that both of us would almost be falling out of our bar stools.

Then I heard the horrible news

She cut her own throat.    The story, when I first heard it, was pretty sketchy.  The story was  this Naklua bar girl suicide was caused by “broken heart”.  One of the girls informed her that her Western boyfriend  was being unfaithful to her.  And that’s why she cut her throat.  But she hadn’t cut it deeply enough which caused her to linger in the hospital for many days.  Which turned into many weeks.

After more than a month, she finally died.   But it wouldn’t be until last night that I got the full story.  Well, not quite.  And that was because the bar owner had never gotten the entire story either.

She died because she drank a lot of Duck before she cut her own throat

Naklua bar girl suicide took a long time because of this poison

Duck is a very potent cleaning fluid that is used to clean toilets and other bathroom fixtures.  I use it to clean the grouting in my tiled floors.  If is strong enough to burn your hands if you don’t  use gloves.  I didn’t find out that she had poisoned herself until two weeks ago.  So it wouldn’t be a question of if she would die, but when.

The rest of the story

Last night I sat at the bar until 2:30 a.m.  Neither Pen  nor I understood exactly why she did it.   But Pen kept telling me she did it because of a broken heart.

The girl’s room was half a kilometer from the bar.  The day she cut her throat she went to the bar.  Then she went back to her room.  She didn’t walk.  She ran while being in a very agitated state. Then she came back to the bar a second, perhaps a third time and each time she ran back to her room.  The bar owner had never seen her acting so crazy.  When she went back to her room the last time she swallowed a lot of Duck.  Then she cut her  own throat.  After this she ran outside her room bleeding profusely as she kept crying out for help.

They took her to Banglamung Hospital.

The bar owner immediately went there as soon as she found out the girl had slit her throat.

At some point, Pen asked a nurse why the hospital did not drain the girl’s stomach.

The nurse replied:  “Because this would have made things a lot worse.”

They then took her  to a highly regarded hospital in Bangkok, which would have drained her stomach had she been taken there first.  At least that’s what the  bar owner told me.  Later they took her home to her family.   But as far as Pen could find out the girl was slowly recovering and would soon resume working at the bar.  The girl returned home to her family and whenever Pen  called to find out how she was, the girl would tell her, “I’m fine.  I will be back at your bar soon”.

She wasn’t doing fine.  She was dying

Neither she nor her family had any money.  But she was too proud to tell the bar owner this.  So she couldn’t stay at the Bangkok Hospital for very long.  Last night Pen told me that she would have paid the girl’s full medical expense if only she had known.   I completely believe Pen.  Always have and always will.  She has a lot more behind her than most of her customers would ever suspect,  and she has a huge heart.  As for the local hospital where the girl’s family lived, the place simply did’t have the equipment or skilled personnel to handle complicated medical cases such as hers.

The Duck had slowly eroded a lot of her insides.  The Bangkok Hospital would have operated.  And possibly saved her life.  Who knows?

Last remarks from her bar owner

  • “She left behind children and her parents.  Now  who’s going to take care of them”?
  • “She was very pretty.  She could have easily found another man to take care of her”.
  • “I think about her every day.  This breaks my heart.”
  • “I don’t know exactly why she kill herself.  But it was because of broken heart.”

My last remarks

I have no further remarks  to make about this Naklua bar girl suicide. Other than to link here to one of my You Tube Videos.   This is much more than just another Naklua bar girl suicide.  We will all miss this girl.

If you wish to read more about the bar.  its History and what makes this bar owner so very special continue here.

 

 

 

 

 

Annabelles go go becomes more expensive

Two weeks ago the Walking Street go go bar was G Spot.  Now it’s Annabelles go go, and it’s become more even more expensive.

G Spot is now Annabelles go go

Before Christmas you could bar fine a G Spot go go bar girl for 800 baht. Then came the Christmas gouging.  Bar fines went up to 900 baht. But one would think that bar fines would go back to normal once the Christmas holidays were over. But it just didn’t happen. Same thing happened down the street at the Crazy House go go bar. My response was to lower my short time tips to the girls from 1500 to 1000 baht. It worked.

And here’s why

I’ve got it figured this way. Most men won’t pay thousand baht bar fines and be willing to pay a go go girl two thousand baht for short time. Japanese men might be willing victims to such overcharging. But not the guys I know. Men who actually live here and know better. But for most go go girls it’s a matter of face. They are 2000 baht girls. Some even think they are worth 3000 baht. But when I go into most go go bars, I very seldom see the girls actually getting bar fined. So I figure I can get at least some of them for 1000 baht. With one caveat that is. This being that we keep my 1000 baht tip a secret from all the other girls and the mamasan.

Let’s bring  Annabelles go go pricing picture down to Earth

Most of the time I am not going to spend more than one hour in a go go bar without paying at least 1000 baht for drinks. The short time room down the street is now 400 baht. Even at a 900 baht bar fine, and a 1500 baht tip to the go go girl, I’m out at least 3800 baht which is $115.00. Which is pretty bad considering I can go short time with a Soi Six girl for 1300 baht. And this includes the room upstairs. That’s $40.00. And the Soi Six girls are in the hole much better.

Annabelles go go bar the good and the bad

They still have those terrific 8:30 to 10:00 p.m. Happy Hours here. I will usually start off with four half priced gin and tonics for just 300 baht. And Annabelle’s still has some of the best looking go go girls on Walking Street. They’ve still got the same mamasans. One of them is pretty cool. She likes to hang around my table even if I’m not buying her drinks.

But Annabelle’s no longer owned by the same company that ran G Spot, Electric Blue and the Dollhouse go go bar. The manager’s gone. Thankfully he’s back over at the Dollhouse where he’s still buying drinks for me and my pals.

Last night I saw the new manager. And believe me he’s laid down the law. My favorite girl keeps tellin me, “I don’t like this place anymore.” And why should she? I buy her a lot of drinks. And trust me, she’d much rather hang around me and my pals than be dancing her ass off all the time up on that stage. Mamasan’s been pretty cool with that too. Because me and my pals are a pretty entertaining group of guys. But now they’s got her on a time clock. She only gets about ten minutes with me before she’s high pressured to get up on the stage.

 The worse thing about  Annabelles go go bar is

Is the price to get laid. It now costs a 1000 baht bar fine just to take a girl out of the bar for short time. But the long time bar fine is now a whopping 1500 baht. I used to be able to pay a 900 baht bar fine to get a girl out of the bar. So we could go to a beer bar so that I could avoid having to pay for all those ridiculously priced lady drinks. I could take a girl out for 80 baht beers far away from Walking Street. We’d spend a couple of hours together and then we’d simply split and go our separate ways. After I banged her in a 200 baht short time room that is.

But under the new regime, if the girl goes out with me, I must pay either 1000 baht short time or 1500 baht long time. If I take her short time, she has to come back to Annabelle’s to complete her shift. And there’s no way in hell I’m ever going to pay a 1500 baht bar fine.

The solution is

To have her meet me outside the go go bar. And now because of the greed of the go go bar’s new owners, this bar’s going to get no bar fines out of me. Not ever. And believe me, many of the girls are perfectly fine with this. They know they are getting screwed. Especially now that it’s low season. Trust me the bar fines over at Annabelle’s will be few and far between.

Jack Corbett Asia Travelogue

The Jack Corbett Asia Travelogue is not a comprehensive travel site.  But it is completely objective due to my making no money whatsoever by sharing my travel experiences.

My purpose for integrating the Looking Glass Magazine with the Jack Corbett Funhouse blog is two fold.  First, my last issue of the Looking Glass Magazine was the Macau Hong Kong December 2013 issue.     The reason I stopped writing articles in the Looking Glass Magazine was 1.  I wanted to replace it with the Funhouse blog and 2.  My focus had completely changed from the American adult entertainment industry to becoming a Thailand Expat.

But there’s a lot of Asian travel  content in the Looking Glass Magazine.  And as the old saying goes, why reinvent the wheel?  I took hundreds of pictures in my Asian travels.  Most of them are in the Looking Glass.  And I spent a lot of time writing travel articles in the Looking Glass.

There are over 50 issues of the Looking Glass Magazine.  The Jack Corbett Funhouse blog is the Looking Glass Magazine’s replacement.  But there’s still one more reason for integrating the Looking Glass with the Jack Corbett Fun House blog.   Although I no longer have much interest in American strip clubs, many issues of the Looking Glass were all about American strippers, topless clubs, and major adult entertainment events I participated in as a professional photographer and writer.  For those who would like to enjoy all that adult content of the Looking Glass and my alphapro.com web site, this travel section of the Funhouse blog is perhaps the bridge that many of you have been waiting for.

Thailand section Jack Corbett Asia Travelogue

Poda Island Krabi
Krabi is my favorite beach destination in Thailand

The Man Tour of Thailand

Plumeria Serviced apartments on Wongamat Beach

Nong Nooch Tropical Gardens

Movie Time at Pattaya Long Beach Hotel

Beachs of  Krabi and  the Phi Phi Islands

North Pattaya’s Garden Cliff Resort

Dirt bike riding on Koh Samet’s rutted trails

Jack Corbett’s Twelve Wonders of Pattaya

Thailand’s best beaches, Krabi, Phi Phi Islands, and Railey

Driving motorbikes on Pattaya Koh Larn Island

Koh Chang Resorts 1 gets an A, the other an F–

Koh Chang’s  hidden jewel–Resolution Resort 

In Search of Thailand’s Perfect Beach

Koh Larn Island Motorbike Video

 

Vietnam section Jack Corbett Asia Travelogue

Halong Bay in the Jack Corbett Asia Travelogue
On a Vietnamese Junk on Ha Long Bay

Late Date in Vietnam

Return to Hanoi

Places in  Ho Chi Minh City you must Experience

Malaysia  section

Mysterious disappearance of Jim Thompson
I spent 2 days looking for the place Jim Thompson was last seen

1967 disappearance of Jim Thompson, Thailand’s Silk King

Hong Kong Macau section

The Casinos of Macau

Five Days in Hong Kong Macau

 

 

Recommended travel sites

Agoda.com

Booking.com

Tripadvisor

 

 

 

Don’t be a  Walking Street sucker with Pattaya Bar Girls

Uncle Bufford says, don’t be a  Walking Street sucker with Pattaya Bar girls.   Be tough.  Don’t let any of these wimmen run you.  I will give you five examples of what I’m talkin about.

I am not a Walking Street sucker
Above all, don’t fall for these cute little things. Focus on what’s really important. Tits and Ass. Yes, that’s the ticket. Get as much as you can. If ya falls in love with only one, you ain’t going to get too many

But first off, I didn’t do all these things Billy Bob did.  This is his story

Girl number 1. The go go girl who apologized.

Ever notice very few Thai women from all these bars never apologize? This is a matter of face. And in my opinion in this part of the world, money is not number one as Neil Hutchison says in Money Number One.

Money Number One is no longer sold in Thailand because certain illustrious Thais felt the book’s cartoons gave Thais a bad image

It’s number two. Face is number one. The Thais we keep meetin in Pattaya have this huge desire to be number one. They don’t want falang tellin them what to do. This amounts to too much Xenophobia (dislike or fear of people from other countries). Or Thai always right. Foreigner always wrong. This time my sexy go go friend broke the mold.  I’m calling her, Noi, which isn’t her real name and it’s not her stage name either. That’s because not all of you reading this are the nicest people. So I want to be protective of the people I like.

So here I am in this here go go bar. I”m not going to tell ya the name of the place. I like to keep certain places to myself. Keeps the riffraff out.  I kind of like to keep the good places to myself even though this here is a go go bar. The manager usually buys me and my friends drinks.  Anyways this girl is kind of special. I first met her workin on Soi Six which means she has some values. That’s why I bang her a lot.

Use this line to avoid being a Walking Street sucker

I’m buying her tequilas and beers and then she decides to bring her friend over. I keep tellin them all, “Look, I’m fuckin her, not you. I buy drinks only for the girl I’m banging.  What are you doing for me? Do you think I’m a Walking Street sucker?”

I keep tellin her she’s special. But then she points across the room at another girl and asks me, “Buy friend me drink?”

I tell her no. But she does not let up on me. “But she my friend,” she replies.

“I don’t care. I only buy drink for you.”

But her friend comes over to our little table lookin for a handout.

“I tell both girls. “She my friend,” as I point at Noi. I know her for long time.”

“My friend no have drink. No money,” the ex Soi Six girl explains.

That does it. I catch the eye of a waitress who promptly comes over.

“Check Bin Kap.” I tell her.

Action counts with Pattaya bar girls.  Words don’t mean squat

“Five minutes later, I’ve settled my bin (bill) with the waitress. Then I turn to Noi, and tell her, “I only buy drink for you. Not for friend you, sister you, mamasan, papasan. I go now because you not listen to me.”

The next time I visit her bar, she makes a big display of being very happy to see me, and lets the whole bar know it. We start off having a beer together.

Don’t be a  Walking Street sucker

Walking Street Sucker
Believe it or not, most men coming to Pattaya leave their brains at the airport.  Incidentally, I ripped this cartoon off from Neil Hutchison’s Amazon listing for his book, Money Number One.    Think I can draw cartoons this good?  No way.  I admonish any man coming to Pattaya to buy Neil’s book and to make it your bible on how to deal with these wimmn.

She’s not one of these worthless go dancers who keeps insisting on me buying her these no alcohol lady drinks they all make 50 baht commissions on.  As I  keep having to explain so many times, “This is the name of the go go game, to get stupid falang to buy as many drinks as you can get from them. That’s why all these wimmen keep insisting that you buy drink for their friend, their sisters who ain’t their real sisters, and all these voracious mamasans.”

But this girl is very different. After all, I met her from Soi Six.  Sittin next to me, she says, “I sorry about night before. Wanting you buy drink me my friend.”

She never tried that stunt again.

Girl number 2

This one’s from Soi Six. Which is going to show all of you, that you never can tell. I love Soi Six best of all. And I like Walking Street girls least of all. This one’s one of the better looking Soi Six girls. She’s got a great attitude. Gives me a nice little massage while we lie naked together just before we get it on.  BUT:

I must have fucked her about six different times. Then I text messaged her to meet me at her bar at 11 a.m . She text messaged me back: “Yes.”

So the next day I arrive at Soi Six at 11 a.m. I call her. It’s obvious that I’ve just woken her up. “Can you wait half hour for me,” she tells me.

“Okay, I have breakfast. See you in one half an hour,” I reply.

So I have a breakfast at a nearby restaurant and call her back.

“I have customer now,” she tells me.

I didn’t miss my turn.  That Thai girl missed her turn with me

That was about one month and a half ago. And I haven’t given her one baht since.  They say when you have missed out that you have missed your turn.  But I see it my way. Whichever customer took my turn has probably not been with her very much. He’s probably a tourist.  She could have been a regular of mine and I live here all year round.

I liked a lot of things about her and was about to replace my number one Soi 6 girl with her. But now she’s missed her chance. But oh well, “Birds in the attic but nobody at home.” But stay tuned for my sequel on her.  I’m not a Walking Street sucker.  And I’m not a Soi Six Street sucker either.

Girl number 3. The very sexy massage girl

Trouble with most massage girls is nearly all of them are butt ugly. I haven’t had that many massages in the last several years. And I haven’t had a happy ending (where the massage girl massages her customer’s penis to orgasm) for over two reasons. I used to have a pretty massage girl give happy endings. Trouble was she was a bit fat, and not really a match for a couple of my Soi Six favorites. Also, the Soi Six girls gave me number one boom boom. Not to mention terrific oral sex. So I’d always choose gettin it all from girls with wonderful bodies over getting a hand job from someone who’s body didn’t match up to what I was expectin.

But this massage girl has one of those slender wonderful bodies that really turns me on.

I get the best massage I ever had

Upstairs there was just one room. I think this must be the only room in which they give oil massages. There is just one narrow bed on it and there’s a lock on the door.

She puts me on the bed lying naked, face down. I am putting my head down into the plastic pillow that had the breathing hole in it so that I have my face pointed down towards the floor. And then she starts playing with my ass. She grazes my ass hairs lightly with her finger tips.  Which is so exquisite that I get an immediate erection. God, did she know what she was doing.  In less then five minutes I jerk myself into an upright position and then I did something I had never done before.

I ask the first massage girl ever for sex

“I want you to do everything with me. I want you to smoke me and fuck me with all your clothes off.  You get 1000 baht tip to make me come.”

“Okay. 300 baht for the oil massage, but you must pay me 1100 baht tip.”

“No, I give you 1000 baht tip. Same same I pay all ladies.”

“You pay me 1100 baht this time. Next time you pay me 1000 baht.”

Because I knew there would be a second time, and probably many times more, I agreed because I know that the right massage girl can be a real treasure. And here’s why.

Why the right massage girls are number one

Even the mediocre massage girls work hard. Most beer bar girls don’t have to. Now don’t get me wrong, some beer bar girls can be terrific. But a lot of them are just standing around, doing practically nuthin. Or joking around with their friends. And too many of them are on their smart phones which means they aren’t paying attention to me. This means they ain’t too smart. And if there’s one thing I despise is a woman who’s dumber than a milk cow.

But when you get a 1 hour massage, the girl is working on you 100 percent of the time. If the massage girl is even half good, she’s putting out a lot of energy giving you that massage. And let’s face it, she’s got to put up with a lot of very obnoxious guys 100 percent of the time she’s giving them massages. She’s got to put on a pretty face even if the guy she’s massaging has a bloated fatso body. Or the guy smells like crap. And I can assure you that most of the guys she’s massaging have terrible personalities. Many of them are just plain evil bastards. But it’s her job to always be pleasant to such assholes. And she’s got to be putting on her pretty face while doing it no matter how she’s feeling inside. These gals are queens I tell you. Queens.

Happy Endings

Then there’s the girls who are giving happy endings. Believe me, most of them are pretty damn good at doing it. And they are doing using only their hands.

Trouble is most of them are just plain whipped with ugly stick. Especially in my neck of the woods where I haven’t seen a pretty massage girl since the beginning of time. Now don’t get me wrong, there’s places in Pattaya that are pretty far away that have much better selection. I just don’t have the time to comb all those areas that are too far from home.

You might be hitting the jackpot if you find a pretty massage girl

But if a man finds a pretty massage girl, he just might be onto a gold mine. There’s a good chance she will want to continue to please him. And sex with her can be fabulous.

Which was what I was hoping it would be with this girl. When she took her clothes off, she was just the way I like em. She had nice shapely legs, was a bit taller than average for a Thai girl. She had nice shapely breasts too. On the whole she was pretty slender with a flat belly. Not real pretty in the face, but she was pretty enough and she had that very sensual look in her eyes.

She started to smoke me. I nearly came in her mouth, but I wanted to eat her so badly. So I went down on her. I don’t think I came up for air for over half an hour. I cannot be certain. After all, they are such damn good actresses, but she sure seemed to be having a lot of orgasms. By the time we started fucking we were kissing each other passionately.

Most Thai sex workers don’t like kissing their customers on the lips

I don’t think many bar girls like kissing their customers. First off, most of the men have shitty bodies. And most of them are old. Like me. It’s one thing to go down on a man’s dick. But I think it’s a lot harder for most of these girls to actually be french kissing a man they have no feelings for and no sexual attraction either. It’s like this, “I will let you come in my mouth because it’s my job. I must separate my job from my true feelings. I kiss my boyfriend and the men I am really attracted to. Or like. That’s why I’m turning my head aside when a customer tries to kiss me on my lips.”

Old Fart with a good body

But I have to admit that I have a damn good body. Even if I am an old fart. And when it comes to eatin a girl I’m very sexually attracted to, I don’t ever want to stop until her entire body’s coated with her cum. And then I still don’t want to stop until I’m all tired out.

Afterwards I go to the little bar that’s just two doors away. There’s four short time rooms in this bar and there’s another 14 short time rooms next door. It’s this bar that I like to take the Walking Street girl I’ve described earlier. There’s a Cambodian girl here who’s got good English skills and a great sense of humor. The Walking Street girl likes her just as much as I do. Here I can buy Noi beers for just 80 baht and if she’s not with me, I am buying drinks for the Cambodian girl.

Don’t smoke around bar girls you plan on boom booming

The Cambodian woman and I are having a cigarette together. I don’t really smoke all that much but I do enough. But I do know that most Thai bar girls do not smoke cigarettes and don’t like men smoking around them or smelling of cigarettes. I almost make it a cardinal rule not to be smoking around the girls I’m fucking. This is because I want them to be attracted to me. Cigarettes will simply make me repellent to a non smoker.

Suddenly the massage girl comes into the bar. It’s a small open faced beer bar and as I’ve mentioned it’s only 2 doors from the beer bar. And then the girl plants a solid kiss right on my lips. Since I don’t want her to taste the cigarette smoke in my mouth I suddenly purse my lips so that her tongue enter her mouth. I feel like a real asshole doing that.

But I become an even greater asshole later

When I first found that massage place a woman asked me if she could give me a massage. We talked a bit, and then I went down to the beer bar to drink with the Cambodian woman. It was a few days later that I actually met the slender massage girl I had sex with.

So, a few days after having all that wonderful sex with the massage girl, I came back from Walking Street where I had a few Gin and Tonics and a couple of tequilas. This is one of the reasons I was about to make one of the hugest mistakes I’ve ever made since moving to Pattaya.

The greeting me at the massage place just had to be the girl I had fucked. She didn’t look nearly as pretty, however. And since she was sitting down in a chair, I never had a good chance to size up her body. So I told myself, “she’s not wearing her makeup and she’s probably changed her hair.” After all, we all know how quickly all these Thai women can change their appearance.

Damn.  I had the wrong girl

So I took her upstairs to do an oil massage. But I noticed many things that were different about her. She seemed quite a bit heavier, but I knew that she couldn’t gain this much weight in just one week. But I was pretty drunk. As a matter of fact, I was pretty drunk the same that first night I got that oil massage. I took a shower which was very cold. Then I took my position on the narrow bed that I was going to get my massage on.

Did I say I was pretty drunk? I was very drunk. But I still can’t understand myself and why I did what I did next.

“I want you to take everything off I told the girl. I want you to smoke me. Then I smoke you.”

By the time she was on top of me sucking my dick I was sure I had the wrong girl. But as I just said earlier, these massage girls know just how to get you off in the shortest time possible. And she was making my dick pretty damn hard. Then I turned her over and started to lick her up and down between her legs.

By this time I was sure I had the wrong girl. But I came in her mouth anyway.

Back to the delectable Massage girl

A few days later, I finally found the girl I had total sex with. When I asked her to do an oil massage with me she said:

“You go with my friend before.”

What she meant was: “I lose face because of what you just did with her. So go ahead and do her again. See if I care.”

I replied: “I only want you.  No want her.”

I was finally able to convince her that I had absolutely no interest in the other woman and then we went upstairs. Seconds after hitting that cold shower she was on me like a female leopard. Clinging to me, she thrust her mouth into mine and started French kissing me passionately. Once again, sex with her was some of the best I had ever had.

We had sex together only one more time.

Then one night I text messaged her, “Are you giving massages at 11:00-12:00?”

“Yes.”

I should have been more explicit and messaged her either 11 or 12.  I intended to text message her again the next morning when I was certain about the time. But I didn’t and arrived at 11:10 in the morning.

She wasn’t there, but the other woman sure in the hell was.  The same woman who had me come in her mouth.

The other woman said, “She upstairs with customer. You want to wait one hour.”

I replied, “I no have time. I do not wait for anyone. Not ever.”

After I left the good looking massage girl text messaged me at 12:10, “Do you come now?”

I replied how I had come to see her at 11:10 and how I was informed she already had a customer.  Then I added, “I am too busy to wait for anyone.”

She replied: “I am sorry.”

I wrote:  “I am too. I thought you were an on time kind of lady. Some girls are.  Some aren’t.”

Then she text messaged:  “See you next time, Ok?”

To which I replied: “Next time is tonight. I don’t know right now who is going to be the lucky girl.”

The Lucky Girl

Or was it me, about to become the lucky guy?

I was pretty put out. The massage girl would just have to miss her turn. I just didn’t know who would wind up taking her turn.

Notice how much of an arrogant son of a bitch I am.

The Walking Street girl was a pretty safe bet.  She never thought of me as a Walking Street sucker.   I could text message her and have her meet me at the bar two doors from the massage place without paying a bar fine.  But then I’d be giving the massage girl that I considered her so important that I’d put another girl in front of her face to make her jealous. By the time I got on the baht taxi to head to erection nirvana (wherever the hell that would be) I didn’t really know where I wanted to go or who I wanted to do it with. By the time the baht taxi got to Soi Six, I decided to try to look up an old girlfriend.

Looking for the coolest Soi Six girl ever

She was the most wonderful Soi Six girl I ever met.  For one thing she had the most gorgeous ass.  She was great in bed.  Had a great sense of humor too.  She never called me because I told her not to.  Never text messaged me either unless I messaged her first.  Nan never cried about how bad things were or that she needed money.   But I screwed up a good thing by banging a girl who worked with her.  Not once but about 15 times.

I ran into her a couple of weeks ago working in front of the Soi Six bar I used to frequent where I had boom boomed her many times before.  But that was over two years ago.  She hardly went there anymore.  I suspect she had a long list of customers who saw whenever they wanted her. She had been one of the best ever.  But I had lost her phone number. Either that or she had changed it.

But she wasn’t there.  So I backtracked to another bar that I had never been in before.

The girl is almost too young and beautiful

I spotted the girl right off. As my eyes started to meet hers, another girl asked me to have a drink with her.

My eyes immediately met the first girl’s eyes.

“Want to have drink with me?” I asked the prettier girl.

“Yes.”

It was an open faced beer bar. There’s quite a few open air bars on Soi Six now. Usually there’s a door to an air-conditioned room inside, however. But this place was strictly an open air kind of place although it undoubtedly had short time rooms upstairs. Wanting some privacy, I immediately walked to the back of the room and took a seat at the bar where I could not easily be seen from the street.

The girl brought over two beers, one for me and one for her. Then she sat up close to me. She was pretty, and I do mean VERY PRETTY. But she was so slender that she seemed too fragile for a strong guy like me to boom boom. She had narrow slender shoulders and legs that were impossibly thin. But she had a good figure, a model’s figure. Whether she was too slender or not I found her to be irresistible.

Unbelievably Passionate

She didn’t waste any time fondling me between the legs. And then she started kissing me. French kissing me right at the bar. When I moved back from her to drink to attend to my beer, I noticed that she was wearing blue contacts. She was simply beautiful.

I didn’t waste much time paying the 300 baht for the room upstairs and paying my bar bill. But by the time she took me up to the short time room and we undressed I felt that I was making a big mistake. She was thin. I like them thin. The pretty massage girl was slender but this girl was just 40 kilos And she was five foot three.

Only 88 pounds and nearly as tall as the average American woman

Now believe it or not, the average American woman is not even five foot four. So this girl was less than one inch shorter than the average American woman who now weighs 170 pounds or five pounds heavier than me, and I’m five foot eleven. But forty kilos comes out to just 88 pounds. I mean I like slender gals but this was getting just plain ridiculous.

But in bed she was a tigress. She was beyond passionate. And she was just plain beautiful. By the time I was eating her I had a nice erection. I wound up coming in her mouth.

I finally wound up on Walking Street meeting up with my friends. But I wanted to find her again so I went back to Soi 6 looking for her. I didn’t see her standing in front of her bar, and I eventually wound up with another girl at another place. But that’s another story.

I saw the beautiful girl two more times.  If she wasn’t into me, at least she pretended to be. She would sit with me drinking her drink running her hands inside my shorts rubbing my penis. And she’d do it for an hour straight. Let alone all the making out we’d be doing.

Which brings me back to girl number girl number 2 again.

This time I rented a hotel room on Soi Six for 650 baht. The room gave me a perfect view of half a dozen bars across the Soi. From the room, I could see the girls coming onto their shifts between 4:30 and 5 p.m. There were already two or three good looking girls at the slender girl’s bar but by 5 she had not yet showed up. I had not shaved yet and had not brought a razor with me. So I walked half a block down Second Road to a Seven Eleven where I got a razor, some shaving cream, and several other small items I needed. On the way back to my hotel I wanted to avoid her bar. For the time being. It was just too early to be getting caught up with this girl. Especially since I already knew what the final results would be.

So I went to Soi 6/1 which runs behind and parallel to Soi Six. I call this Lady Boy Alley since the Lady Boys like to hunt down their prey here. Then I cut over to Soi Six far enough down the Soi so that my new favorite would not see me.

Several girls called out to me,

Wanting me to buy them drinks. Halfway down the Soi a pretty girl called out my name from the Lisa Bar. Like the others she wanted me to buy her a drink. But unlike the others, she most definitely seemed to know me. But I couldn’t quite remember. Not sure, but I think she was the one I took upstairs a couple of months ago, who I then looked for but couldn’t find. She was pretty hot. So I told her I might get her a drink later on.

A few bars farther down the soi, another girl called out my name. It was girl number 2. I had not banged her for a month and a half. She had been fun and a great lay. I didn’t know if my new favorite girl would show up tonight or not so I decided to hedge my bets.

Smoke and Kisses

Had a small open air beer bar arrangement outside an air-conditioned room inside. We sat inside at a booth across from each other. I bought her a beer and one for myself but we ended up having two together.

After some conversation girl number 2 told me that she didn’t think I like her all that much. Keep in mind though that this girl had always been pretty frank with me even though she had stood me up for another customer. So I started telling her about a very weird experience I had only three days ago involving the police. But that’s another story that will come later in this blog. I did tell her that I had taken a very pretty girl upstairs from another bar after which all the weird stuff started to happen.

This Soi Six girl’s into self improvement

“Do you like this other girl better than me?” girl number two asked. I don’t mind your telling me the truth. I want to be better at my job.”

“I like you a lot,’ I replied. “But we not have sex for 2 months. The reason why is you were supposed to boom boom me at 11 a.m. but instead you went with another customer.”

I then explained what the pretty massage girl had done and I even showed her the text messaging we had that ended with my telling her another girl would be the lucky girl tonight.

“And I’ve not had sex with her either for two weeks. You see, she did the same thing to me that you did.”

Who cares if they love you or not so long as they act like they do

“But this new very pretty girl acts like she’s totally in love with me. I know that neither you or she really loves me, but I don’t care. Money is number 1. You know it. I know it and you know I know it. But she’s a very fine actress. And she has done nothing wrong yet.”

Somewhere during this conversation, another bar girl came up to our booth and started talking to girl number 2. Which was very rude. But we all know that most of these girls are very rude. True to form, girl number 2 suddenly turned to the other girl to converse with her in Thai. Whatever I had been talking to her about was now obviously forgotten. As I keep saying, “Birds in the attic, nobody at home.”

I promised to look her up later on if the pretty girl up the street didn’t show up for work.

Attentiveness to my dick is the key

But she did. And the entire time we wound up sitting together on our bar stools, her hands hardly left my dick. No one interrupted us. While she kept acting as if I was the most important thing in the world to her.

She had to get up several times to get us fresh drinks from the bar. She was wearing shorts that accentuated her slender body. They were neither expensive looking or cheap appearing. But she looked simply elegant wearing them. She’s just 23. Which is far too young for me. I really don’t like them much younger than thirty.

I don’t care too much for Walking Street go go girls either. But I do like girl number 1 who is 31. Who is a pretty straight forward kind of girl who feels much more at home at a nice beer bar than in a go go club.

I wanna be just like Errol Flynn when I grow up

Errol Flynn was well known to the point of infamy for his hedonistic ways.

I keep reminding myself of Errol Flynn, the swashbuckling move actor, who died in his early fifties, a complete physical wreck with his 17 year old girlfriend, Beverly Aadland close by.  Errol had been one of the most handsome men in Hollywood in his prime.  Flynn was such a stud that the gals would line up outside his hotel room.  Needless to say, he couldn’t handle them all.  So his buddies fucked all the excess women.  They used to call Error’s buddies, Flynn’s Flying Fuckers.

Back to Flynn’s 17 year old

The 17 year old was a young woman who was far beyond her years in intelligence and emotional development. She loved Errol to the end. And that’s a fact. One simply never knows about these kinds of things.

Beverly Aadland was just 17 when she was with Errol Flynn. Precocious beyond her young years, it is my firm belief that she loved Errol in spite of his becoming a corpulent alcohol ridden shadow of his former self.

As for the Massage girl.

I think I’ll try her again to see what happens. Part of that whole story is my own damn fault. I wasn’t clear about the time, and I had gotten her friend and co-worker to blow me, which was not all that cool. Jesus…it still horrifies me to even think about that one. How could I be so utterly stupid?

But now I’ll continue this long story to tell you about four complete losers who I don’t care if I ever see them again.

The Young Girl with the Frog Face

There’s three go go bars that all have the same owner and management team. The bar fine’s 900 baht and there’s none of this crap so many go go bars keep trying to pull such as short time bar fine’s and long time bar fines of up to 1500 baht. Noi works at Sensations (which is a name I’ve made up to protect the innocent.) I’m calling this second go go bar, the Dog House to protect both the innocent and the guilty.

Two girls work at the Dog House. First one’s the young girl with the Frog Face. Second girl’s “A Japanese look a like.” That’s because she has a Japanese look about her. So I’m calling these two Froggie and Miko. There’s a third girl at the Dog House who doesn’t play a major part here. She’s 37 years old so I’m calling her Goodie as in Oldies but Goodies.

A couple of months ago, I pulled Goodie off the stage to have a drink with me. But it didn’t take long for her to get her leaching friend, Froggie, to join us for all the fun and games.

The game, “who’s feeling my dick now”, backfires

I don’t know where I come up with all these brilliant ideas of mine. They seem to be a good idea at the time, but usually they end up backfiring on me. It all started when Froggie took the stool to my right in front of the stage. Goodie sat to my left as we sat together at the stage. In no time both women started to play with my dick. That’s when I started to close my eyes as I tried to guess which go go dancer was fondling my dick.  I didn’t know it then, but I was setting myself up to be a Walking Street sucker.

Needless to say this created quite a Sensation at the the Dog House. Oldie was content to drink beers and tequilas with me. But Froggie wanted orange juice or coca cola. And probably because other girls had told her that she could maximize her tips at 50 baht a ladies drink if she never got drunk with a customer.  Although Froggie had a frog face she at least had a half way decent body. Nothing great but about what one would expect from a 22 year old.

I get targeted by the vultures

I didn’t spend a huge amount of money that night because I only spent an hour at this club.  But the second time I came, Oldie was not there, but Froggie sure in the hell was. Unfortunately she spotted me right off and descended down to me from that stage like a vulture, bringing a second girl who was just as young as her. Right off they both asked me to buy them ladies drinks.   Obviously they thought I was one of their typical Walking Street suckers.  I kept telling them they had to drink real alcohol because if they didn’t I sure wasn’t buying them kiddie cocktails.

I screw up by buying 2 go go bar nitwits kiddie cocktails

I finally relent and get them their girlie drinks. Then out of nowhere another girl suddenly appears for her free ride. But she agrees to drink a real drink with real alcohol in it. When the two young girls ask me for a second drink, I tell them both that I am finished with buying them kiddie cocktails.   So I start to focus on Miko.

My modus operandi with Miko was to kiss her lightly on her ear or her neck and watch her get goose bumps all over her legs and arms. As I remember we did this for a couple of nights after the first time I met Miko. But I wouldn’t stay at the Dog House for very long on account of my strong preference for Noi. The truth is  Noi has a wonderful body while Miko is only so so at best.

I’m going to get Big Ron to rescue me from this leech

But one of my best friends liked Miko. This is Big Ron who I am naming after the Big Ron character from Stephen Leather’s book, Private Dancer.  In real life Big Ron was a strip club owner in the U.S. from Texas.  So Big Ron asks me, “Do you want Miko, because if you don’t want to bar fine her, I’d like to.”

Which he did. Which was great for me because now I wouldn’t have Miko asking me to buy her any drinks.  But one night I went into the Dog House alone.

In the Dog House Peanut Gallery

I sat up in the stands which I call the peanut gallery and one of the girls joined me for a drink. But Miko saw me and went into the peanut gallery to mooch some drinks off me heedless of my already having a female companion.

When she asked me for a drink, I said to her, “Big Ron your tilak (lover) now. He come later I think.”

“Who is Big Ron?” Miko lied.

“You know Big Ron. You go with him Naklua Soi 18.”

“I don’t know Naklua Soi 18,“ Miko lied again.

But she just wouldn’t leave. Finally I asked her, “you like boom boom, Big Ron?”

“I never boom boom Big Ron”, she lied a third time.

“Liar.” But I never told her that.  Because I will have fun at her expense later.    From now on, I’m calling her Monkey Brains instead of Miko.”

At Sensations Go Go Bar with Big Ron

Several nights later, I hit Sensations with Big Ron.  Got four Gin and Tonics at their 75 baht half price Happy Hour deals too. Right off, Noi, joined me while a second girl jumped on Big Ron’s lap.

It didn’t take long for Big Ron to be up to his shit disturbing rambunctious true self.  In no time he was starting to call the girl, Bright Eyes. Fifteen minutes later he asked her what her long time price was. Which in my estimation is totally wrong. I mean, who gives a shit what kind of prices a bar girl starts spouting off. I give them my price, take it or leave it.  Usually they leave it because I am a cheap ole bastard who knows the score.

I could tell that Big Ron was totally pissed off

because he was already reaching into his wallet to pay his bill.

“Let’s get out of here. Bright Eyes here wants 7000 baht for long time. Can you believe it?” Big Ron said with disgust. Who does she think she is? Like she’s got a golden pussy.”

“I don’t like a girl with a golden pussy,” I reply. They are much better  with their pussies shaven totally bald.”

We get go go girl, Noi, to be our spie

I bar fined Noi. Sometimes I will take her straight to a Walking Street short time hotel.  Other times I take her to a favorite little bar of mine where we can drink 80 baht beers together and there’s short time rooms next door.  When I meet here there, I’m not paying a bar fine. But this time I asked her if she wanted to go with Big Ron and me to the Dog House . I want to show Monkey Brains that I’ve got a thing going with a girl who’s ten times prettier than her.  And while I’m at it, I want to instill the same lesson in Froggie.

Big Ron, Noi and I sit up in the 2nd row of the Peanut Gallery while one of the prettier girls in the place targets Big Ron. He orders a drink for the girl from the waitress as she perches her lovely body on his lap.

Big Ron tries to get Monkey Brains to back off

Suddenly a bird of Prey descends on Big Ron, oblivious to his already having one of her co-workers already with him.  But this complete breech of bar girl etiquette has no effect on Monkey Brains whatsoever.  Big Ron pretends she’s not there.  But Noi, who is about as likeable as they come, doesn’t.  Soon, the two girls are exchanging gossip.

It so turns out that Big Ron has supposedly paid Monkey Brains 7000 baht for his first and last long time with her.   After Monkey Brains finally leaves after having no success at leeching a drink off either Big Ron or me, Noi gives me the scoop.

Noi, our spie, explains why Bright Eyes wants 7000 short time

“Lady work with me at bar Sensations, she work here with Miko two days ago.  Miko say Big Ron give her 7000 baht for boom boom.  So now lady at bar me, he want to pay bar fine for, she think he give Miko 7000 baht.  Now she ask Big Ron for Big Money boom boom.”

That’s Noi for you. She knows Big Ron’s not a Walking Street sucker who’s about to pay 7000 baht long time prices for. And she doesn’t like the girls who lie like that.”

Last Drink for Froggie

This time it’s Billy Bob and me over having San Miguel Lights at the Dog House. We are in the third row up in the Peanut Gallery when my eyes come into contact with Froggie’s. A few minutes later, as soon as she’s allowed to come off the stage, she’s sitting next to me in the Peanut Gallery. I reluctantly buy her an orange juice. We plan on leaving for the next go go bar in a few minutes so I’m figuring another 150 baht won’t kill me.  And if she figures I’m a Walking Street sucker, so what?

But Froggie stays with me in the Peanut Gallery for only ten minutes. Then she disappears. figuring in that peanut brain of hers that I’m just another typical Walking Street sucker.  Which is a good thing. After all, I’m not calling her Froggie on account of her beauty. Big Ron and I even stay for a second beer, but still no Froggie. I don’t know who’s more of a class act, Froggie or Monkey Brains. I swear to God to Big Ron that I will never ever buy Froggie another drink.

One more Walking Street go go dancer who’s as useless as tits on a boar

“She’s a total leech. Drinks orange juice and although her body is not half bad she’s nowhere near as well built as Noi.  And compared to the slender Soi Six beauty, boom booming her would be about like banging a man with a moustache. I whisper loudly to Big Ron. “I am not wasting another single baht on anyone like her again. That 150 baht ladies drink is 25 % of the price of a nice little hotel room I can use with Noi or any of the other girls I seriously enjoy banging.”

I will never be a Walking Street sucker again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Naklua Pattaya Bar wedding Party

Why would an English expat have a Pattaya  Bar wedding party?  At the Naklua Pen Bar of all places?

Pattaya Bar wedding
Will and his bride. Pen the bar owner with her back to the camera.

This is an unpretentious place where the locals hang out far away from the Pattaya go go bars on Walking Street.  I can go on and on about why so many of my friends come here.  But I’ll let this you tube video do most of my talking.

Most of these friends of mine are expats  living in Thailand year round with retirement visas.  Or they are men  still living in their home countries who keep coming back to Pattaya and have been doing so for years.   Most of them are Germans.  I’m American.   While Will is an Englishman.  I suppose Will wanted his wedding party to be unforgettable.  And Will knew that Pen, the bar owner, was the woman who would get the job done.

Pattaya Bar wedding lead singer Ploy
Ploy, lead singer for Alex sound which Will had Pen hire for his party’s music.

This video will explain everything.  Will wanted me to do it.  So did Pen.  So I bought along two cameras.  A Nikon D750 slr with my prized Nikon 24-70 2.8 lens and newest little gem.  A Panasonic LX10 with its very fast 1.4 Leica lens.

May May with female Pen Bar regular to her left. The boyfriend’s stuck in his mother country and very sorry to have been missing all the action here.

But first, a little background for why the Naklua Pen Bar wound up hosting a Pattaya Bar wedding Party.

The Pen Bar is like an English Pub or American tavern where the locals congregate.

Its been here for over 10 years.  It is in Naklua where Westerners actually own condos where they stay for the long haul, many of them for the rest of their lives.  Naklua is a different kettle of fish than Central Pattaya with its thousands of bars that cater to tourists staying in hotels.  It’s like many places in England and the United States that have their local pubs and taverns  where the locals go.

Let me give you an example.  During the party a Thai woman was sitting at the bar next to my girlfriend.  Full of excitement she started thrusting her smart phone in front of my face.   Video conferencing with her was her German boyfriend who was stuck in Germany, unable to attend Will’s wedding party.   I can’t remember a single night that I went to the Pen Bar when I didn’t see the couple together.   But here he was back in Germany eating his heart out to be here with the rest of us.

Saint Thomas bar fines 24 women from Pen Bar

I can cite many examples of customer loyalty to the Pen Bar.   One loyal customer was Saint Thomas who inspired one of my characters in Welcome to the Fun House.  Saint Thomas was an American who lived in my condo building.  We called him Saint Thomas on account of his being almost the exact opposite of a saint.  Such as bar fining 24 bar girls from the Pen Bar in one three month period.    Then he moved back to the U.S.  But whenever he’d visit Pattaya he would email me to ask Pen to keep her bar open for him because he would be arriving late from the Bangkok airport.  He’d then take a taxi which would deposit him with his luggage right at the bar.  He’d never go to the hotel first, not even to shower.  Then after he got good and drunk, he would bar fine one or 2 of Pen’s bar girls.  Pen would have someone drive Saint Thomas and his girl (girls)  to his hotel.

At a Pattaya Bar wedding party the groom gets to sing to his guests. Well, at least at the Pen Bar he does.

And brother, Saint Thomas sure used to get drunk.  I don’t think he missed a night.

Later he died.

Per my Norwegian pal reminds me of a Viking Warrior who takes no prisoners

Another great fan of the Pen Bar is Per.  Per’s a Norwegian friend of mine who you can see in all his infamous glory in this video.

I’ve seen Per drop 10000 baht in a few hours of buying drinks for the ladies.  I think he was ripped off by the bar.   But I never saw him spend 10000 baht at the Pen Bar.  The reason was–Per was oftentimes viewed as a prime target due to his generosity and love of alcohol.  Which led to unscrupulous bar owners and cashiers  grossly overcharging him.  Pen never did.  And none of her employees did either.

Pattaya Bar wedding Party bar girl motorcycle taxi drivers
Two of Pen’s girls taking Will and Tonpai home. This is typical service for Pen’s customers in good standing. Pen will just say, “You. Take Jack back to his condo. He forgot to bring his motorbike.”

This was one helluva Pattaya Bar wedding Party

Will left at 4 a.m. but I stayed until after 5 a.m. still downing all those beers.  Reminded me of a canoe float trip on the Current River in Missouri.  After the ice melted in the coolers in the canoe, the canned beer got very warm.   In those days I probably drank over 30 cans of beer and it got to the point that the more beer I drank the soberer I got.  And so it was here at Will and Tonpai’s wedding party.  Seemed I just couldn’t get enough of the beer.

Trust me, a Pattaya Bar wedding is a lot more exciting than those ho hum affairs in the U.S.

More links to Pen Bar

The Song Pattaya Pattaya in video at the Naklua Pen Bar

The Thailand Naklua Pen Bar 10 year anniversary Dance-a-thon Video

 

 

Extreme Muay Thai at Pattaya Max Stadium

Extreme Muay Thai hit the stratosphere when one contestant was carried out on a stretcher while another suffered a broken nose

Extreme Muay Thai
Although he throws in a few kicks Kriss Axelsson fights in a classic Western style. He narrowly wins his fight against a highly skilled Thai opponent who’s record last March stood at 88 wins out of 108 fights with only 15 losses and 5 draws. Kriss is a Swede who moved to Thailand to perfect his Muay Thai skills. He teaches Muay Thai in Koh Samui. From the little we saw of him, it would be difficult not to like this man. It is also hard to fault his boxing style.

So why am I calling video this video Extreme Muay Thai when I’ve already done a Double Knockout video from all the first rate  action I’ve witnessed from my front row seat at Pattaya Max Stadium?  First off in all 7 fights the action was unrelentingly furious.  Secondly these 7 fights produced more than the usual amount of copious blood.   Third’s the music.  My pal, Big Daddy, called the whole scenario here as a disco with a lot of fighting thrown in.

For me  Extreme Muay Thai must have better music

With that in mind, I decided to break tradition by stripping all that wining, god awful Thai sound that seems to be de rigour for Muay Thai.  So I injected what I’m calling Jack’s special musical brew over the original sound tracks.

You might not like this video’s break from tradition.  But that’s just one more reason why I’m calling what you are about to experience  Extreme Muay Thai video.

Extreme Muay Thai video is for the high end viewer

I also took this video production to the limit by setting my Nikon at  60 frames a second.  And then I outputted the video at 30 frames a second to make it more appealing to audiences whose eyes are accustomed to watch video at 30 frames a second.

I took another series of videos with my new Panasonic Lx10.  I shot them in 4 k at a resolution of 3840 x 2160 pixels at 100 megabytes per second.   The 4 k results from this camera  will be my next you tube video.

Nikon Glass makes all the difference

But that new Nikon 24 by 70 2.8 lens is sheer magic when it’s parred with my Nikon D750 SLR.  The new Panasonic LX10 with its 1.4 Leica lens is excellent.  But there’s nothing like shooting with very heavy, quite expensive Nikon gear.  But this Nikon Lens?  The colors that come from it.  And the almost 3 D effect.  It’s so good and so expensive that I recommend to those who take their photography seriously, to sell the family car, sell the kids and rent out your wife.

The last reason I’m calling this Extreme Muay Thai video, is that I am not keeping the typical internet smart phone user in mind at all.   All that resolution and excellent equipment is best experienced when viewed on a 55 inch television for a monitor.  And since sound is so important to me, I created it so that it could be best heard on a surround sound system with excellent speakers and a powerful amp.

 

 

 

Reintroducing the American Republican Party Cartoon Strip

I’m reintroducing the American Republican Party Cartoon Strip.  Why?  Because  of Trump the Rump, Vice President Mike (No Common Sense) Pence and other imbeciles ruling the U.S.

Meet the King Makers. These two Congressmen might have been elected by the people. But they are owned by Big Money

As the 2012 presidential election approached, I was so disgusted with the Republican Party’s sorry ass cast of candidates, I just had to do it.  It was my patriotic duty, even if I had virtually no talent as an artist.  So I created 25 cartoon strips ridiculing the Republican Party.

But now that we have Trump the Rump as President and Mike (No common sense) Pence as Vice President, it’s time to pull out that 2012 Republican party cartoon strip again.  But the last election was in 2016.  So—the past repeats itself.  Different Faces.  But it’s the same kind of nitwits all over again.

In the Republican Party Cartoon Strip you will be meeting

Fox News puppets Glen Beck and Sean Hannity
Roger the Dodge Ailes of False News, and his puppets, Glenny and Hanny
Is Fox News a propaganda arm of the Republican Party.  Hell yes. That’s why we call it Falso News
Rush Limbaugh
Rush Limblenuts
Sarah Palin cheerleader
Sarah Palin, who was McCain’s choice for vice president in 2012
John McCain
And meet Migrain
Grinchy who’s trying to make a come back in American politics

Herman Cain
Do not forget Pizza Man.  After all the Water Fountain  and Office Closet Girls haven’t.

Rick Perry
Perry looks all business. Resembles a movie star playing U.S. President
But his knowledge of the world is as limited as Trump the Rump’s
Milt Romney
Then there is Plastic Man Melt Romney whose vision for America is all over the place.
Let us not forget Sanitation Man Rick who will call upon religion to save us from ourselves
Born in a manger. He’s got God on his side

 

 

 

 

Trump’s medieval climate change Mindset

Trump is an American disaster and international embarrassment represented at its worse by Trump’s medieval climate change mindset.  Imagine China leading the world at fighting man made climate change.  This is like calling upon the fox to guard the hen house.   This is a huge strategic mistake of epic proportions as the New York Times warned in its June 1, 2017 editorial Trump Hands the Chinese a Gift:  The Chance for Global Leadership.

Trump's medieval climate change Mindset came later
I created this Trump cartoon in 2012 when we had the choice of not just one but 8 Republican Imbeciles to take us back to the Dark Ages.

Donald Trump is an imbecile.  And we Americans cannot say we haven’t been warned.

Trump's medieval climate change mindset
Thomas Friedman is a A three time Pulitzer Prize winning Journalist, Thomas Friedman writes a monthly editorial for the New York Times.

The U.S. should be taking Thomas Friedman’s advice on Climate Change

Three time Pulitzer prize winner Thomas Friedman is my favorite journalist.  He’s the main reason I subscribed to the New York Times instead of the Washington Post.  In his No 1 International best seller, Hot, Flat and Crowded,  Friedman lays out an entire blueprint that would  not just lead the U.S. to energy independence.   It would also enable the United States to become the world leader in green energy.  This would have enabled the U.S. to develop the technology, production and distribution to a huge industry that would enable the world to become a much greener planet.  This would create millions of jobs here in the United States.  But sadly, the United States has fallen way behind the rest of the developed world.

Our leaders are morally bankrupt with a crippled mentality of me first.  To hell with the rest of the country.

Trump’s medieval climate change mindset is a gift of world leadership to the Chinese

Today I am reading the Bangkok Post while drinking coffee in condo here in Thailand.  I am reading about how the Chinese will soon be building a high speed train system  here .  So what about our American engineers and business leaders, who are probably the best in the world?   Unfortunately the U.S. is not even a contender for showing the Thais how to build a high speed train system.  Now, the French have been quite good at developing some of the highest speed trains in the world.  And so are the Japanese.  Then there’s little countries like Denmark which will be 100 percent self sufficient in a few years.  High speed trains are a significant step in the green revolution’s combating man-made climate change.

But we got Donald Trump, who is on target for buying still more billions of dollars of nuclear weapons that we never needed in the first place.  And that hopefully we will never even contemplate using.  I guess that’s what Trump means when he says, “America First.”

The rest of the world is starting to view the U.S. with contempt

“What an idiot.” Hell, I was in a bar the other night.  Suddenly a drunken Englishman came in.  The man told me he was drunk, and then he started in on me about Trump.

So I told him, “I probably hate Trump even more than you do.    I don’t even want to talk about him.  Let’s talk about something else like beer, music and women.”

But the man never let up on me.  The wanker kept on winging about the American and English governments and how bad he thought Hillary Clinton was.  I kept telling him to shut up, but on and on he went until my Cambodian waitress gently took me over to another table, to keep me from punching the guy’s lights out.

Trump’s medieval climate change mentality will not only put the United States far behind many much more enlightened nations when it comes to combating man made climate change.  It also puts the United States at the back of the pack when it comes to meaningful world leadership.  Just as sad is the fact that most Americans view Trump’s medieval climate change mentality with disdain.  Unfortunately there is no way out of this abyss.

Vice President Mike Pence is every bit as much of a moron as Donald Trump.

June 3 on Fox News Mike Pence called the issue of climate change “a paramount issue for the left” as he sought to defend Donald Trump’s decision to withdraw the US from the Paris agreement on climate change.

“It is “so refreshing to have a President who stands without apology … For America first”, Mr Pence said on Fox News’ Fox & Friends programme, saying he didn’t understand why climate change had become such a big issue for the Democrats and the left.”

The Republican Party’s defense of Trump’s medieval climate change mindset is indefensible

Anyone who defends Trump’s medieval climate change mindset is a regressive retard.  We can put Mike Pence at the top of the list.   This means impeachment of Trump is not an option, even if his Republican minions who hold majorities in both the House and Senate wanted to.

I would like to ask all the misinformed Americans who voted for the Republican Party to become better informed before they vote in the next election.  Unfortunately when it comes to U.S. world leadership and curbing the catastrophic effects of man-made climate change,  it is far too late for that.  But oh well, we will at least be able to exhaust our nation’s resources by  increasing the power of our nuclear arsenal. By allowing  Trump’s medieval climate change mentality to overcome their better judgement,  Americans now face two choices for self destruction.  Death by nuclear annihilation or man made climate change.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thoughts from the Expats Corner